


The Color Purple

by Kept_Candlelight



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It'll take a while though, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 60
Words: 170,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27372562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kept_Candlelight/pseuds/Kept_Candlelight
Summary: He saved her life. Now, it's time to save his.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 305
Kudos: 452





	1. The Return

“Normal” had never been a word in Zuko’s vocabulary.

After all, who could blame him? His father was abusive, his sister was manipulative, and his mother was forced to leave after helping poison his grandfather. On top of that, he was born the heir prince to the sole nation that caused the destruction of the world.

Normal was impossible for his family.

Yet, despite never knowing what “normal” truly felt like, Zuko desperately wanted everything to be normal again.

But it wasn’t. It never would be. Not for him.

He stared at the scarlet ceiling of his bedroom, but its vibrant color no longer registered. It was flooded out by thoughts of shame and regret.

He hoped that everything would change now that he was the Fire Lord. But somehow, everything had gotten worse. His own nation was divided on their feelings toward him. Some hated him—wishing it were Ozai ruling instead of him. Others saw him as another Fire Lord, one who would conquer and cause pain, just as his ancestors had. On top of that, he had an entire world to help rebuild. The meetings and plans to reconstruct the nations would’ve been bad enough, but the assassination attempts on top of it were enough to push him over the edge.

 _Even now, the people still hate you_ , he thought. _Helping the Avatar doesn’t change the fact that you’ve screwed up so many times._

These thoughts had happened for weeks. They started a while ago, but they didn’t come back with a vengeance until Katara and Sokka left to help the Southern Water Tribe. They worsened as Uncle Iroh went back to Ba Sing Se to reopen the Jasmine Dragon. One by one, they were all leaving him. _Just like everyone always did_.

Zuko’s fingers brushed over his torso. The skin was rough, darkened by the streak of lightning that slid from Azula’s fingertips. It still hurt dreadfully, but he could only imagine how much worse it would be without Katara.

 _Katara_. Thinking of her made his heart ache more than the scar from the lightning strike. He missed her. He missed her cold hands on his torso, just above his stomach. He missed the sound of her voice and their conversations as she healed him. He thought of how close they had gotten—on their journey to kill Yon Rha, on the flight to the Fire Nation to defeat Azula, and in each healing session in Zuko’s bedroom. Seeing her sapphire eyes, blue as the oceans she controlled, was enough to put his mind at peace. He hadn’t seen those eyes in weeks.

Zuko rolled over onto his side, burying his scarred cheek into the pillow. It wasn’t until after she had left with Sokka that he realized that he loved her.

_Appa grunted as Aang began loading up their belongings onto his saddle. The sky was overcast, and Zuko wondered how the flying bison would be able to see through the thick clouds._

_“We’ll be back in a few months,” Sokka said. He threw his rolled-up sleeping bag up into the saddle. “Hopefully, sooner.”_

_“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Katara asked Zuko. Her eyes wandered down to his covered torso, towards the painful mark hidden under his robes._

_“I’ll be alright,” Zuko said. “You need to go back to the Southern Water Tribe. You’re needed there more.”_

_She nodded, her face still grim with worry._

_“Toph, do you want a ride back to the Earth Kingdom?” Aang asked. He stroked the fur on Appa’s shoulder as he looked towards the blind earthbender. “We can drop you off on the way there.”_

_“And go back to my overbearing parents?” Toph asked. “I don’t think so. I’m staying here until Zuko kicks me out himself.”_

_Sokka snorted. “You know he’d never do that.”_

_Toph smirked. “Exactly.”_

_“Everything’s packed,” Aang said. “Are we ready to go?”_

_Katara nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”_

_The three said their goodbyes, promising to come back soon with stories of their time apart. But Zuko couldn’t take his eyes off Katara. Even as she flew away, riding Appa into the clouds, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. He felt something leave with her._

_It took only a minute to realize what it was._

_His heart._

_His stomach dropped. His eyes widened._

_He was in love._

_He was in love, and he watched her leave. He let her go._

Zuko buried his face further into the pillow and pulled the blanket up above his neck. He wanted to stay there forever.

The thoughts crept back into his mind. They were always there, hiding along the outskirts, only making themselves known when he was alone. They were there the day he first separated from his uncle, and they were there the day his father burned off half his face. After joining the group, they’d disappeared for a bit. But now, the thoughts were back with vengeance.

_It would be better if you just killed yourself._

He squeezed the pillow around his head, shielding his ears as if to block out the noise.

 _Shut up_ , he thought. _No, it wouldn’t._

_Everyone hates you. Your own people. The other nations. Katara left you, and so did Uncle. Aang and Sokka did too. The only reason Toph hasn’t left yet is because she hates her parents more._

_And you deserve it. You deserve to be abandoned. You never deserved their love or trust._

Zuko slumped further into the bed. They were right. He didn’t deserve their friendship. He’d spent years hunting down the Avatar all to regain his place in a home that didn’t even want him. He’d stolen, he’d fought, and he’d hurt so many people. He didn’t deserve them. He would never deserve them.

His fingers trailed up to his left cheek. The feeling of the marred skin made his eyes water. He wanted so desperately to be loved. Even his own father didn’t want him.

_“Stand up.” The voice was fierce. It cut through the sound of his sobs. His head pounded, and his eyes and nose dripped onto the obsidian floor of the palace. Everything hurt._

_Zuko squeaked, feeling his scalp burn as his father pulled him up by his hair. His eyes met his father’s—gold, just like his._

_“Are you deaf, boy? I said stand up!”_

_He let go of his son’s hair and let him drop to the floor. Not wanting to face the consequences of disobeying, Zuko pushed himself up slowly. His knees were shaking, and his legs felt weak. But he was standing. That was what mattered._

_“You’re pathetic,” Ozai snarled. “You’re a disgrace. It’s shameful to know you’re the heir to the throne. The spirits know it should’ve belonged to your sister.”_

_Zuko dipped his head down to look at the floor. “I know, Father,” he muttered. “I’m sorry.”_

_Ozai scoffed. “You’re sorry, are you?” He gripped the boy’s arm and squeezed it. Scalding fingers began to burn through the skin, and Zuko tried his hardest not to flinch. “Apologies won’t fix the mistakes of your birth.”_

_He flung him to the ground. Zuko hit the floor so hard that he bounced. His head cracked against the stone, and he cradled it in his arms. Tears fell down his cheeks, which were still round with baby fat._

_He was so young. Too young._

Zuko shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the memories. His fingers found themselves on his biceps. They ran against the little, white scars, small circles against his pale skin. They were hardly noticeable after several years, but the pain was still there. It just wasn’t physical anymore.

_You deserve to die._

This time, he couldn’t tell if the voice was his or his father’s.

_You don’t deserve to be here._

_No one loves you anyway._

Zuko covered his ears.

_Stop it._

_You’re worthless. Loveless._

_You don’t even deserve the breath in your lungs._

_The people of the Fire Nation would never want you as their Fire Lord._

_They’ll never accept you._

_You’re pitiful._

_Go kill yourself._

_Stop it, stop it, stop it!_

_Do it._

_You’ve caused everyone so much pain._

_Just kill yourself._

_It’s the least you can do._

_The others will be so much better off without you anyway._

_Do it._

Zuko sat up. He let the blanket fall from his shoulders. His cheeks were soaked in tears.

He hated this. He hated going to sleep every night listening to these thoughts, knowing they were right. He hated waking up several times each night, roused awake by his nightmares.

He was done hearing them.

He was done.

* * *

He was grateful he was silent on his feet. He supposed that was from living with an abusive father, but he didn’t care what the cause was.

He walked to the pond first. The turtleducks were all asleep, their little feathers tucked underneath them for the night.

Zuko knelt down on the border of the pond. Sticking out his arm, he reached out to pet one gently, carefully as not to wake it up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I hope someone remembers to feed you when I’m gone.”

He stood up before he had a chance to regret it.

Before he knew it, he was on the roof of the palace.

Everything looked so small from up here.

He remembered coming up here with Azula when they were younger. It was a miracle neither hurt themselves—either child could have fallen off the roof. Yet, there was something different about this time. He wasn’t laughing and chasing his younger sister. Instead, he was silent. He couldn’t tell if he was feeling peace or turmoil, but he didn’t care.

He was so sick.

He was sick of listening to those thoughts every night.

He was sick of the trauma that came with his background.

He was sick of the stresses of the duties that came with Fire Lord.

He was sick of bottling up all his emotions.

He was sick of living just to breathe.

Zuko closed his eyes and took a step. He felt the wind brush his hair backward, exposing his face to the sky. He could feel his toes dangling off the edge. One little nudge and he would be plummeting to his death.

He lifted his foot, just about to step off.

“ZUKO, NO!”

* * *

They had gotten back to the Fire Nation later than anticipated. Aang expected them to arrive around eight that night, but one pit stop quickly turned to several. It wasn’t until one in the morning that they got back. Sokka told him to land, to sleep for the rest of the night, but Aang refused.

_“We’re almost there,” the monk said. “Look! We can see it from up here!”_

_“Aang, that’s still at least thirty more minutes,” Sokka griped. “It’s already dark.”_

_“It’s not too bad, and besides, the quicker we get there, the quicker we can eat food besides dried fruits and nuts.”_

_Sokka contemplated this for a moment before sliding back into the saddle. As he slumped down, he looked over at his sister. She was looking out the side of the saddle, facing the landscape they flew over._

_“Whatcha thinking about, Katara?” Sokka asked. He leaned over and nudged her side with his boomerang._

_“The stars look so pretty tonight,” she said. “It’s been a long time since we were last able to look at them together.”_

_“_ _O_ _h, you’re in one of those sappy moods.” Sokka rolled his eyes and rolled over. Katara glared at him, a pout pulling at her full lips._

_“You two should get some rest,” Aang said, not turning around to look at them. “We’ll be there soon.”_

_They flew over the ocean, with nothing to guide them but the moon and stars._

By the time they arrived, everyone was already asleep. The guards welcomed them and offered to bring their belongings to their rooms, but the trio declined. Aang handed Appa off to one of the guards to lead him to the barn, and the three went off to their rooms.

The bed was comfortable, no doubt about it, but there was something about sleeping in the Southern Water Tribe that Katara missed. The snow and ice were so cold, and it was so nice to be warm, bundled up in her furs.

The Fire Nation lacked that cozy atmosphere.

The blankets felt too heavy and too thin all at once. The air around her felt stiff and silent. She didn’t feel unwelcome here, but she simply couldn’t sleep.

Kicking off the blankets, she found herself wandering the halls of the palace.

Almost immediately, she knew something was off.

The door to Zuko’s bedroom was open. It wasn’t open wide, but rather, cracked slightly. Noticeable only to someone looking for it.

Pushing the door open slightly, Katara poked her head in. The top two corners of his sheets were pulled off the mattress, and the blanket laid disarrayed, draped in a messy heap.

 _He had another nightmare_ , Katara thought. She’d seen him in that state so many times, especially after the Agni Kai with Azula. She hoped he was okay.

As she continued to venture around the palace, her chest tightened further and further. Something must’ve been wrong.

Her feet brought her to the barn, where she was met with a sleeping Appa. She walked towards him and pet his fuzzy ear. He opened his eyes drowsily.

“Appa, come on,” Katara whispered. “Let’s go for a midnight ride.”

* * *

There was something about flying at night that made Katara feel free. Maybe it was the feeling of the cold wind against her face or the view of the stars above her. Maybe it was the moon flooding power through her veins. Whatever it was, she felt liberated.

She gripped the reins tighter, flying over the buildings that were so unlike the Water Tribe ones. Construction had fixed most of the damage caused by Zuko and Azula’s Agni Kai, but burn marks still stained some of the abandoned shops.

The city was beautiful. Perhaps, one day, she would live there. She didn’t think she’d mind it too much, especially if she had her friends with her.

Just as she was about to bring Appa back to the land to retire for the night, a streak of crimson caught her eye. Up on the roof, there was a figure of deep red. Standing, staring silently at the city.

Katara flew closer. She narrowed her sapphire eyes, trying so clearly to see the figure on the roof. It wasn’t until she realized what the silhouette was doing that she realized that the person was actually—

“ZUKO!” Katara shouted. She yanked on the reins, dragging Appa up towards the roof. “ZUKO! NO!”

He looked up at her. Even in the darkness of the night, she could see the pain—the fear, and guilt, and shame, and regret—in his face.

She brought Appa to the roof, letting him land before jumping off the saddle. She didn’t hesitate to run towards Zuko, wrapping her arms around him tightly as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“Zuko, what are you doing?” Her voice was wet and soft. Tears gathered at her eyelashes, and she tried to blink them away. _No, you can’t cry_ , she thought. _You have to be strong for him._

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. Her shoulder felt wet, but she ignored it. She squeezed him tighter.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes chapter one! 
> 
> I'm not quite sure where this story will take me yet, but I guess we'll find out. :)


	2. Acting Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Katara finds him, and neither knows how to react. But he has to keep up his facade for the others. He doesn't want them to know just yet.

_The sound of water was the first thing he registered when he woke up._

_The second was immense pain—burning, blistering, scalding._

_Zuko shrieked and brought his hand up to his face. He felt a thick wrap—gauze—under his fingertips._

_“Shhh, Prince Zuko, it’s okay,” a voice soothed from beside him._

_He couldn’t see, but he recognized the voice. “Uncle?”_

_“It’s me,” the voice—Uncle Iroh—said. Zuko felt a hand on his scalp, and he forced his right eye to open. His uncle was smiling down at him._

_“Wha…”_

_“Relax,” Uncle Iroh said. “It’s going to be alright.” His smile dropped, and his eyes became heavy with sadness. “Nephew, what do you remember_?”

_“I…”_

_Zuko brought his hand up to his left cheek to feel the gauze again. His face burned, as if it were on fire from the inside out._

_Fire._

_The memories flooded back instantly. His father towering over him. His harsh voice slicing through the air. The stares of everyone in the audience. Father gripping his hair, pulling him up. A hand on his cheek. The smell of flesh burning._

_Zuko closed his right eye. He didn’t want to look at Uncle Iroh, didn’t want to see the pity and sadness in his eyes._

_His right cheek felt wet. He felt fingers drag across his cheek, wiping his tears away. The hand cupped his cheek gently._

_Zuko exhaled shakily. He let down his guard, allowed himself to be comforted by his uncle’s touch._

_Suddenly, the fingers began to warm up._

_Zuko opened his eye. “Un…uncle?”_

_The fingers burned a little more, uncomfortably so._

_“Uncle, stop. You’re hurting me.”_

_The hand moved upwards, towards his right eye. The skin of his hand burned more. Zuko tried to move away, but Iroh pushed him down into the pillow underneath him._

_“Uncle! Uncle, stop!”_

_Zuko shrieked. The smell of burning flesh filled his senses, and his eye felt like it was on fire. He could feel his skin blistering, bubbling up and melting away. He screamed, just as loud as he screamed the night of the Agni Kai._

_“Uncle! Please!”_

_“Uncle!”_

_“Stop!”_

_“No!”_

“Zuko!”

Zuko flung forward. His lungs hurt, and he panted heavily. His hands shook. His eyes were unfocused.

He moved his hand up to his right eye. The skin was clear, unmarred. He was okay.

He felt a hand inch onto his shoulder, and he turned to look over at its owner. Katara sat upright next to him, rubbing circles into the skin.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Her sapphire eyes were wide, fogged over from sleep but cleared slightly from concern.

Zuko tried to open his mouth to speak. His tongue felt heavy like lead, and his mouth felt like cotton.

He put his hand over his chest, just above his scar. His heart was still palpitating, and his lungs were still bouncing wildly.

“Come on, you need to breathe,” Katara soothed. “Take a deep breath with me.” She inhaled dramatically, meeting his eyes as he did. His golden orbs were unfocused, but she never dropped her own eye contact. She held her breath for a few seconds before exhaling loudly. “Breath with me, Zuko. It’s okay. It’s just us.”

It took a while before Zuko managed to match his breathing to Katara’s. His was shaky and inconsistent, but at least he was breathing normally.

“Are you feeling better?” Katara asked gently. Her hand moved from his shoulder to his back, but she kept rubbing circles soothingly.

“A little,” Zuko mumbled. He dipped his head down to stare at his lap. The blankets were strewn messily near his feet, and the sheets were starting to come off the mattress.

“Lay down next to me.” He nodded and fell back onto the bed. Katara grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to his shoulders before laying down next to him. She put her head on his chest, letting her fingers rest over the scar on his torso.

Zuko felt his breath gather in his lungs as he felt her touch. He wasn’t sure if it was platonic or not (after all, Katara always held people who were feeling down. She was motherly like that), but that didn’t stop his heart from speeding up. Her hair felt so soft against his bare chest, and she smelled like coconut and flowers. He put his arm around her slowly, hesitantly. He wanted to hold her, but he didn’t know how she would react.

He knew she could hear his heart pounding rapidly. He tried to take a deep breath to calm his nerves, but it came out shaky. _Agni, what is wrong with me?_

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered.

Zuko froze.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “What were you doing on that roof?”

He closed his eyes. She knew. He knew she knew, but he didn’t want to say it. He couldn’t admit it.

“Were you really about to?” she asked. “You didn’t really want to, did you?”

He noticed she wasn’t saying it. _She refuses to say I wanted to kill mys_ elf.

Zuko’s silence was enough of an answer for her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around the firebender.

“Zuko, I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For leaving you behind.” She squeezed him tighter. “I should’ve known better.”

“You had to go back to the Southern Water Tribe,” he said. “You needed to help Sokka and your dad rebuild. Your people needed you.”

“But you needed me too.”

They laid in silence for several minutes, holding each other and listening to the sound of each other’s breaths.

“Are you mad at me?” Zuko whispered. Katara could hear his heart beat quicker underneath her ear. She sighed.

“No, I’m not mad at you.” She looked up at him, her eyes full of melancholy. “I just wish you told me. How long has this been going on?”

He shrugged. “For a little while. Long before I joined your group.”

Katara blanched. “And you didn’t think to tell anyone?”

Zuko’s gaze dropped in response. “I didn’t want to burden anyone,” he muttered. His voice was so low that Katara almost didn’t hear him.

“Oh, Zuko…” Katara’s eyes glistened with tears. “Don’t ever think that. We all love you. We’re your family. I’m your family. You can always come to us.”

He nodded. His heart fluttered inside his chest, and mixed with his regret, it made him feel sick. He hoped she didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry.”

She hugged him tightly. “It’s okay. Just tell us whenever you have these thoughts. Please?”

He nodded.

Katara smiled sadly. “It’s been a long night. We should probably get to sleep. Do you..do you want me to stay here with you?”

His heart fluttered again. He wanted to agree, but he knew she didn’t think of him in the same way. “ _We’re your family,” she said. “I’m your family.”_ She didn’t see him like that.

“It’s okay,” he said. She nodded and slid off the bed.

And just like before, he watched her leave again.

* * *

Despite waking up in the middle of the night, Zuko woke up again long before the sun had risen. The air in his bedroom was cold, and he could barely force himself out of the warmth of his bed.

He headed to the pond to meditate, just like he did every morning. The turtleducks were already awake, swimming happily and splashing in the water.

Zuko sat there for a couple of hours, trying to focus on breathing and clearing his mind. It was easy enough to dissociate from the world, to lose himself in his mind. The problem was trying to keep his mind clear and not to think of negative thoughts.

When the sun had finally made its way above the clouds, Zuko hurried to the dining room. He could hear the Gaang before he saw them, and he knew the guards probably thought they were crazy.

Two guards bowed to him as he entered the dining room. Katara, Toph, Aang, Sokka, and Suki were already at the table. Bowls of fruit, congee, and meat-stuffed dumplings sat in front of them, and the five helped themselves to all of it.

“Hey, there he is!” Sokka said. He tossed a dumpling up into the air and caught it in his mouth. “What took you so long?”

“What are you talking about? It’s still early.” Zuko pulled out a chair at the head of the table, sitting down next to Aang.

“We arrived just last night,” Aang said. “You’d think you’d be happier to see us.” He smiled and nudged the Fire Lord with his elbow.

“We’re exploring the city today, Sparky,” Toph said, her mouth full. “That’s why we’re all up so early.”

“Yeah, there’s a festival going on tonight!” Aang said. He tossed a piece of mango to Momo, who chattered slightly and flew off above their heads. “We wanted to walk around and look at the decorations before it starts.”

Zuko nodded and scooped himself some of the lychees and congee. Out of the corner of his unmarred eye, he could see Katara avoiding his gaze. His stomach dropped. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

He noticed she wasn’t doing much talking this morning, and he felt his chest ache. It was better than her telling the Gaang everything that happened—especially so soon, but he still felt bad. _I wonder if she was able to get some sleep afterward._

“Sokka, stop trying to catch your food,” Suki said, putting her hand on his shoulder. The dumpling he threw in the air fell on the ground and bounced off the rug. Momo quickly swiped it up.

“Aw, you made me miss it!” Sokka whined.

“It wasn’t me who made you miss it,” Suki said, rolling her eyes slightly.

“I have great aim!”

“I’ve been to the bathroom after you, Snoozles,” Toph joked, “and no, you definitely don’t.”

“Toph, we’re eating,” Zuko said, rolling his eyes. “Can you not?” His eyes darted to Katara, who wasn’t laughing like the others were. The tightness in his chest strengthened. _It’s your fault she’s in a bad mood. It’s always your fault._

“You’re too uptight,” Toph said. She swung her feet up onto the table, propping them up on the expensive Dalbergia wood. “Loosen your hairpiece, will ya?”

“We’re going to have a lot of fun today,” Aang said. “If you want to come, maybe that’ll turn your frown upside-down!” He reached out to grab Zuko’s cheeks, pulling the skin upwards to force his scowl into an unhappy, awkward smile.

Zuko immediately pulled away, flinching at the contact. He was getting better at letting the others touch him (for whatever reason, they couldn’t go three hours without a group hug), but he still hated when they touched his scar. They knew it was a sore spot, knew that his father was the one to burn him. But they stopped looking at him—at _it_ —with pity, and that was what mattered.

“If you finish your council meetings early, you should come,” Suki said. “You need a break more than anyone.”

“I’ll think about it,” Zuko said.

“Well, think quickly,” Sokka said. “We’re leaving at ten.” Zuko nodded, and the group pushed their chairs back to leave the dining room.

“In case you don’t come with us, we’ll be back around mid-afternoon,” Aang said. He stuck out his arm and let Momo perch on his forearm. “You don’t have to wander the city with us, but you definitely need to come to the festival.”

“I will,” Zuko promised.

Aang smiled from ear-to-ear. He looked much younger than he really was.

“Good! You’re going to have so much fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I write a little more, I'm getting more ideas about where I want the story to end up. I might surprise myself though.
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and a comment. They always make my whole week! :)


	3. Admittance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a council meeting, Zuko's thoughts come back with a vengeance. Luckily for him, Katara is there to calm him down.

By the time the gaang left, Zuko was already in a meeting. He wished he could’ve seen them off or at least had the chance to say goodbye, but duty called.

Meetings with the council were a blessing and a curse. He never liked the idea of being left alone, and at these meetings, he at least had some form of company. But these meetings were dreadfully boring, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

He knew it was wrong to zone out. After all, he was the Fire Lord. He was supposed to be alert, supposed to know what was going on in his nation and the others.

But he was still just a teenager. He couldn’t find it in himself to focus every second of these meetings, and half of the conversation was full of arguments between the council members anyway.

“Fire Lord Zuko,” one of the council members said, pulling Zuko out of his thoughts. “We still have some time to decide what to do about the bordering city, but please give the idea some thought.” His eyes were wide, pleading. “Yangpei needs you.”

“But so do the other villages,” another member interrupted.

“Please think about it, sir.”

“I will,” Zuko said. The members bowed to him as he stood up. The guards escorted him out of the meeting room.

After reaching the garden that Zuko loved so much, he turned to the guards. “You are dismissed,” he said to the men on either side of him. They bowed simultaneously and left the firebender alone.

Zuko collapsed in a pile beside the pond. His chest was tight, and his mind was swimming.

_They don’t care about you. They just care about your power. They know you can get them what they want. They don’t care who really sits on the throne._

Trying to ignore the thoughts, he reached his hand into the inside of his robe. Sticking his fingers into the pocket sewn inside, he grabbed a chunk of bread that he’d managed to swipe from the dining hall at lunch.

The turtleducks swam over to him, flapping their wings happily at the sight of him. He cupped his hands, allowing them to eat from his palms. Their downy feathers were wet but soft, and it made him smile.

_They’re only happy to see you because you feed them._

Zuko’s smile fell.

_Stop. This is my happy place. I’m not letting you ruin this._

_You’re the one ruining it. Just like you ruin everything else._

He stood up. He couldn’t take this anymore.

_You should’ve done it. You should’ve killed yourself._

He immediately began speeding away, back to his bedroom. He couldn’t let his thoughts taint this area, this safe haven.

He didn’t stop until he reached his bedroom. Flinging the door open, he was surprised to see a figure sitting on his bed.

“Katara? What are you doing here?”

She whipped her head around to look at him. Her eyes were full of an emotion he couldn’t depict. Startled, maybe? Remorseful?

“I was waiting for you,” she said, standing up. She walked over to him, her eyes meeting his. The emotion hidden inside them was gone, replaced by another he didn’t know. “I thought your meeting ended an hour ago?”

“It ran late,” he said, “and I went to the garden afterward.”

She nodded.

The two stood in silence for several moments. Her eyes were facing down at her shoes, and his were looking down at the top of her head. He hadn’t realized how much he’d grown since their adventures together.

“Can we sit for a second?” Katara asked. Zuko nodded, letting her guide him to his bed. She sat down next to him, and their thighs were pressed together. Zuko inhaled sharply at the touch.

“Listen…” she took a breath. “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but we really need to.”

_Oh._

“Does anyone else know?” Katara asked, her eyes wide. “Anyone at all?”

He shook his head. “No. Just you.”

She sighed. “Please, Zuko. You need to tell someone.”

His gut turned inside of him. He could feel bile rising in the back of his throat, and he swallowed it back.

She grabbed his hand. “I know you don’t want to, but you need to let the others know.”

He looked down. He couldn’t meet her eyes. They looked so sad, and he didn’t want to break down in front of her.

“I don’t want to let them down,” he whispered. She squeezed his hand tightly. “I can’t let them hate me.”

“They won’t hate you,” she said. “I promise.”

He wanted to believe her. He really did. But something inside him just wouldn’t let him.

_Father always said you were unlovable. Even he couldn’t stand the sight of you._ _What makes you think they will?”_

“At least tell Iroh,” Katara said.

Zuko’s stomach dropped. His eyes widened. The bile in his throat came back at full strength.

“No.”

“No? But Zu—”

“I can’t.” He pulled his hand out of Katara’s grasp, despite his heart sinking with the loss of her touch. “I can’t do it. I can’t let him down.”

“Zuko, he deserves to know.”

He put his face in his hands. He could feel tears gather at his eyelashes, and he tried to blink them away. Instead, they slipped down his cheeks.

He felt arms wrap around him. The smell of coconuts and flowers enveloped him. He wanted to sink into her embrace, but he couldn’t.

_You don’t deserve it._

“He can help you,” Katara said. She stroked his hair, threading her fingers into his raven locks. “He’s seen you at your worst before, and he still loves you.”

_She’s lying._

“You just need to let him in.”

_He can never find out._

“Please, Zuko.”

“I’m sorry, Katara.” The tears slid down his cheeks and fell onto her tunic. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” She pulled away, her hands on his shoulders. “I’ll be there if you need me.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want him to hate me.”

“He won’t. I promise.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he loves you.”

Zuko dipped his head down. He wanted to believe her. He had to.

“Do you want to lay down?” Katara asked. “If we’re going to the festival tonight, you might want a nap now.”

He nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Zuko laid down on the bed, not bothering to pull the blankets down first. Katara laid next to him, and she pulled her into him. His head was on her chest, her arms around him. Zuko felt himself turn red.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered. “I promise.”

“Katara?”

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you go with the others? Didn’t you want to see the decorations?”

“You’re more important.” She slid one of her hands into his hair to massage his scalp. “You needed me more than they did. And besides, we’ll see the decorations tonight.”

His furious blushing didn’t cease, and neither did the pounding of his heart. But he managed to calm himself down enough to fall asleep.

There were no nightmares that afternoon.

* * *

Toph was the one to find them. She saw their figures—cuddled up together in the Fire Lord’s bed—and immediately went to check on them.

She noticed that they were getting closer, closer than the others. While she felt the movements of Suki slipping into Sokka’s room late at night, she felt Katara go into Zuko’s. Although there was much less movement was involved with the latter’s, Toph’s curiosity was still piqued.

She wasn’t sure what she expected, but seeing Zuko asleep and snuggled up in Katara’s arms was _not_ it.

Both parties were sound asleep. Katara’s hair was spread out over Zuko’s pillow, and her arms were wrapped tightly around him. Zuko had his scarred cheek pressed to Katara’s breast, and his lips were parted slightly. They looked so peaceful together.

Toph grinned. _Oh, Suki’s got to see this!_

She bolted down the hall, focusing on the movements she felt in her feet. She could feel it—Suki was still with Sokka and Aang, listening to the boys as they talked.

“Warrior Princess!” Toph said. “I need you!”

“Warrior Princess?” Suki repeated with a smirk. “That’s a new one. I’ll take it.”

“What’s wrong, Toph?” Aang asked. “Is it urgent?”

“I mean, kinda? There’s nothing to worry about,” Toph said. “Just girl problems.” She grabbed Suki’s wrist. “We’ll be back in a second. Don’t worry.”

“Toph?” Suki asked, ignoring the boys’ complaints from behind her. “What happened?”

The younger girl grinned. “You won’t believe what I just saw in Zuko’s bedroom!”

Suki’s eyes widened, and her mouth fell into an O-shape. “Toph, you shouldn’t be—”

“Oh, relax. They’re not doing anything like that. It’s just really cute, is all.”

Toph led Suki through the palace hallways, darting through each corridor until they reached the master bedroom. “Oh, good, they’re still asleep.” She nudged the door open gently and backed up so Suki could take a look.

“See?” she whispered.

Suki put her hands to her mouth.

“It took them long enough,” Toph said. “Took way too long.”

“Do the others know?” Suki asked, pulling her eyes away from her sleeping friends. Toph shook her head.

“Nope, just us. I don’t know how Sokka and Aang haven’t noticed it. Zuko somehow gets even more awkward when Katara’s around. I didn’t even think that was possible!”

“And the poor boy turns red as a lobster-shrimp,” Suki whispered back with a chuckle. “Not that Katara notices though.”

The two girls heard a small grunt and the sound of the mattress dipping slightly. Suki turned her head to see Katara wriggle slightly, moving into a better position. She continued to cuddle Zuko close to her, smiling softly in her sleep.

Suki sighed. “It’s only a matter of time before the boys find out. I don’t know how they’re going to take it.”

“I don’t know who I’m more worried about,” Toph said, “Aang or Sokka. I mean, Aang’s head over heels for her, but Sokka’s going to snap into overprotective brother mode.”

Suki placed her hand on Toph’s shoulder. “I can handle Sokka,” she said. “We really just need to worry about Aang. But for now, let’s let these two sleep a little longer.”

“Good idea,” Toph said. “Neither slept well last night. I mean, their movements kept waking me up!”

Suki smiled. “Do you need a nap before going to the festival tonight too?”

Toph scoffed as the two girls walked down the hallway together. “What am I? Eight years old? I don’t need a nap.”

Suki shrugged with a smile. “Alright, suit yourself.”

* * *

Katara stirred slightly as the sun crept into the window. Its warm rays felt soothing against her face.

She registered the weight on her chest and looked down to see Zuko cuddled up against her. His left cheek was pressed flat against her, directly above her heart.

She smiled. He looked so different asleep. He didn’t look as stern, as angry. Like he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Running her fingers through his hair gently, her smile deepened.

Suddenly, the realization of last night hit her.

This boy—the one sleeping on her chest—almost died.

And he would’ve done it to himself.

Katara couldn’t bear to think about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t woken up that night. If she hadn’t ridden Appa. If she’d arrived a minute later.

Her stomach flipped, and she held Zuko closer to her, tightening her grip.

“I’m never letting you do that to yourself,” she whispered into his hair. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's one in the morning, and I'm too tired to function, but I wanted to finish this so badly. Hopefully, you enjoy It, and my sleep-deprived mind still works enough for this chapter to make sense.


	4. The Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Avatar goes to the festival that night, but unfortunately, things don't go as planned. What was supposed to be a night of fun and relaxation quickly turns into a quick escape.

“We need to steal her for a little while,” Suki said. She pulled Katara closer to her, grinning wickedly. “We’re having girl time.”

“Why do you need to even dress up?” Sokka whined. “It’s just a festival.”

“Oh, come on, Snoozles,” Toph said from the corner of the room. She was sitting in one of the chairs, balancing it on its back two legs as she propped her feet up on the table. “Let us have some fun before tonight.”

“Tonight’s going to be fun anyway,” Aang said. “But if dressing up makes you happy…”

Katara smiled. “Thanks, Aang.” She turned to face Suki. “Should we get ready?”

Suki grinned. “Toph, you coming?”

“Of course, I am.” She slid off the chair and jumped onto the ground. “We’ll see you two noodle brains in a little while.”

“I’m surprised you want to dress up, Toph,” Katara said as the three girls walked to Suki’s bedroom. “Typically, you don’t like doing girly things.”

“Oh, I’m only doing this because we need to talk to you,” Toph said. She followed Suki into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. “We saw you and Zuko this afternoon.”

Katara’s face warmed and painted her cheeks a bright red. “It wasn’t what you think.”

“Suuuuure, it wasn’t, Sugar Queen,” Toph said.

“Don’t even try to lie to yourself,” Suki said. She pulled out her makeup palettes and a brush. “We’ve seen the way you look at him.”

“Is it really that obvious?” Katara asked. She pulled out the stool in front of Suki’s vanity and collapsed into it. Her face fell into her hands in embarrassment.

“Sweetness, I’m blind, and even I can see how madly in love you are with him.”“I’m not madly in love with him!” Katara said.

“Then, why were you cuddling together in his bed?” Suki asked with a laugh.

“Because…” Katara’s mind went blank.

_Because he needed someone._

“Exactly.” Toph sat on Suki’s bed. She swung her legs back and forth mindlessly. “You like him.”

“It’s not like that,” Katara said. “And either way, neither of us is in a good place for a relationship. I mean, he has his focus set on rebuilding the Fire Nation.”

“Be honest,” Suki said. “You just don’t want to hurt Aang’s feelings, do you?”

“That’s part of it,” Katara admitted. “There’s just a lot going on right now.”

Suki nodded. “I understand.”

_No, you don’t._

“Yeah, Sugar Queen,” Toph agreed. “We’ve all got a lot on our plates.”

_You don’t know what’s going on with him._

“This festival is exactly what we need though.”

_A festival won’t erase what happened that night._

“Yeah, just relax.”

Katara sighed. “I hope so.”

* * *

“Where are those girls?” Sokka peered around the corner to the hallway, just as he had four other times within the minute. “The festival’s going to start soon.”

“I’m sure they just need a few more minutes,” Aang said. “They’re probably almost done.”

“Just be patient, Sokka,” Zuko said. “It doesn’t even matter if we’re on time. The festival’s going on all night.”

“But I don’t want to miss anything!”

“Oh, quit whining,” a voice said from around the corner. “We’re ready.”

The boys turned around to see the three girls coming around the corner. Toph’s grumpy voice rang clear through the hallway, and Sokka jumped in shock.

Each girl was adorned with golden jewelry that glimmered underneath the lanterns of the palace. Rubies and garnets lined their necks, ears, and hands, and their faces were painted with heavy rogue and eyeshadow. They looked magnificent.

But Zuko couldn’t take his eyes off Katara.

Unlike the other two, she added garments from the Southern Water Tribe with her Fire Nation attire. Thick, fur robes blended with soft, sheer fabrics, and the combination of baby blue with fiery red made Zuko’s heart leap in his chest. Her thick, wavy hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall, with her hair loopies framing her face before being pulled into an elaborate braid.

She was stunning.

“Wow, Katara!” Aang said. “You look great!”

Zuko glared at the younger boy. He felt something build in his chest. When he discovered what it was, he immediately quelled it.

Jealousy.

He was jealous.

Zuko took a shaky breath.

_Why are you jealous? She’s not your girlfriend or anything. This afternoon meant nothing, and you know it._

_And it’s not like she would ever want you anyway._

_She would never love you._

_It’s like Father always said._

_No one could ever love you._

_You’re a waste of breath._

“Zuko? Is everything okay?”

Zuko blinked, and he was met by the multicolored stares of everyone. Varying emotions seeped through each of their eyes. Confusion, sadness, and…pity?

“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.” He shook his head. “Come on. Let’s get to the festival.”

* * *

“There it is!” Aang hopped off Appa’s saddle and bent the air underneath him. He hit the ground and took off running towards one of the stands.

“Hey, wait for me!” Toph jumped off the sky bison and ran after him, tracking his movements through the earth.

“Last one there is a rotten seal carcass!” Sokka launched himself off the side of the saddle and hit the ground, taking off after the other two.

Suki rolled her eyes and gave Katara a look. “Whelp, there goes my boyfriend.”

“I don’t know what you see in him,” Katara said with a giggle.

The three climbed out of the saddle and began walking towards one of the stands. Aang, Toph, and Sokka were gathered around one of the food carts, staring down at the abundance of food before them.

“Whoa, that smells delicious!” Aang said, pointing to a plate of deep-fried dough covered in chickpea curry and bean sprouts. “Let me take some of that!”

“We just got here,” Suki said. “Why is the food your first stop?”

“Because food is delicious,” Sokka said, as if it were the most obvious answer.

“You’ve got to admit,” Katara said, “trying the food from around the world has been one of the best parts of traveling.”

“I’m just sick of sea prunes,” Aang said, scooping some of the curry-covered fried dough into his mouth.

“Do you have any flaming fire flakes?” Sokka asked the street vendor.

“Make sure you have water with that,” Zuko said.

“That’s not manly!”

“Neither is crying like a baby kitten-deer because your mouth burns.” Zuko turned to the vendor. “Some water too, please.”

“Of course, Fire Lord Zuko,” the man said with a bow.

“Look over there!” Katara pointed her finger towards the string of lanterns, each lit with a different-colored flame. They looked like rainbows streaming across the skies. “It’s beautiful!”

“They’re supposed to have a firework show tonight too,” Suki said. She grabbed a flaming fire flake from Sokka’s bag and popped it into her mouth, wincing slightly. “Not until it gets a little darker though.”

“It’s already dark out!” Aang said. “The sky is pitch black!”

“Oooh, pitch black,” Toph deadpanned. “How spooky.”

Aang glared at her, but Zuko simply smiled. He loved her dry, blunt sense of humor.

“Let’s go explore the other areas,” Katara said. Grabbing Toph’s arm, she led the group through the crowds of people. There were so many sights to see, including musicians, magicians, and masked performers. A long line of heavily-decorated floats built a parade that passed through the streets. Girls in elaborate costumes and makeup danced alongside the floats, and confetti covered the ground. It was magnificent.

“Do you want to go watch one of the street performers?” Suki asked.

“Why not,” Aang said with a shrug. “There’s one over there!”

The Gaang gathered with the rest of the crowd and surrounded one of the stages. A man danced in front of the group, wearing an elaborate dragon mask and several layers of cloth that flowed around him as he moved. Ribbons of fire streamed from his fingertips. They floated around the crowd, eliciting “oohs” and “aahs” from the audience.

The strips of fire floated and flew through the sky, wiggling through invisible borders. They reached closer and closer to the crowd before disappearing into a million embers. The audience cheered and clapped wildly, and the street performer grinned under his mask.

The man gathered another ball of fire and swirled it around, turning it into a loose tornado of sorts. The flame turned into a ribbon, and he began to snake it around the air.

Suddenly, he flung it towards the audience.

Right at Zuko.

* * *

Zuko didn’t know what happened.

He remembered following Team Avatar to watch one of the street performers. He remembered seeing the man balance a ribbon of fire from hand to hand and along the air before launching it at the crowd.

But then, he no longer saw the street performer.

He saw his father. Standing over him. He was on his knees, but Ozai’s hand was gripping his ponytail like a lifeline. He saw the fire come at him, right towards his face.

Panic gripped his chest and crushed his lungs. He couldn’t breathe. He knelt over, his hands on his knees. There were voices around him, but he couldn’t register what they were saying.

_Please, Father. I only had the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!_

_You will fight for your honor._

_Is he okay?_

_I meant you no disrespect. I am your loyal son._

_Zuko? Zuko, what’s wrong?_

_Rise and fight, Prince Zuko._

_Zuko?! Tui and La, get him out of there!_

_Come on, Zuko. Come on. Let’s go. Come on._

_I won’t fight you._

_You will learn respect and suffering will be your teacher._

_No, no, no, come on, Zuko. We’re going to get you out of here, but you need to walk._

_Can you pick him up?_

_Y_ _eah, let me try._

He felt hands on him, and a scream erupted from his throat. A hand immediately slapped over his mouth.

_No, come on, I know you don’t want to attract attention to yourself. Come on, buddy. Just breathe._

His face burned. Everything was white, blinding white. The smell of burning skin. He gagged. It burned, scalding skin. Blistering. The smell was so strong. Everything _burned._ He wanted to tear off his skin. It hurt. Hurt so bad. He couldn’t see. Blinding. Burning.

_Come on, Zuko. You need to breathe. Take a deep breath in with me._

His hands flew up to his face. _Get it off, get it off, get it off!_

 _Hey, no, you can’t do that._

_There are so many people. So many people. They all see me. They see my weakness. Failure. They’re all watching me._

_Uncle! He’s in the crowd! Uncle, where is he?_

_Try to breathe, buddy. Try to calm down._

_Come on, Sparky, you can do it._

He felt ground underneath him. The hand loosened from his mouth, from his face. He immediately sank into himself, curling up tightly. Wrapped his arms around his legs. Knees near his face.

_Get away from me! Don’t touch me! Don’t look at me! Not like this!_

Explosions. There were dozens, _hundreds_ of them.

Zuko covered his ears. Screaming.

_The ship. He was on his ship._

_The explosions went off._

_Everything was on fire._

_His ship was exploding!_

_Uncle? Is Uncle on the ship?_

_He looked out at the ocean underneath him._

_It was a long jump. He might not survive._

_But he couldn’t burn to death._

_Couldn’t explode to bits._

_He leaped._

_The wind was cold against his face._

_The fire was scalding against his back._

_Zuko! Zuko, it’s okay! You’re here. You’re with us. You’re okay._

_Hands. There were hands on him._

_Screams. Explosions._

_Shhh, it’s just me. It’s just me. It’s just Katara._

_Katara?_

_Katara wasn’t on the ship._

_It’s okay, Zuko. I’ve got you._

_There was a hand on his. Smooth._

_Smooth skin._

_Gentle._

_Guiding him to something soft._

_Soft, but firm._

_Do you feel that? That’s my heartbeat. Try to focus on my heartbeat._

_The water was cold underneath him. Freezing. So cold it burned._

_He ducked underneath it._

_Get away from the explosion!_

_The feeling under his hands._

_Something rose and sank._

_Breathing._

_Someone’s breathing._

_Breathing means living._

_Alive._

_I’m alive._

_Hands._

_There were hands on him._

_On his head._

_His scalp._

_They slid down his hair._

_Gently. Soothingly._

_I’m okay. I’m alive._

_I’m okay._

_I’m okay._

_I’m okay._

“Guys! Guys, back up! He’s coming out of it!”

_I’m going to be alright._

_I just need to breathe._

_Breathing means alive._

“Zuko? Zuko, can you hear me?”

_I can._

Eyes opened. Bleary. Everything was fuzzy.

Sapphire.

There were eyes looking back at him.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

Smiling.

“It’s alright. You’re going to be okay.”

His face was wet. Something was on his cheeks. He tried to scrub the feeling away.

“It’s okay, Zuko. Leave your face alone, okay? Your skin’s turning red.”

A hand touched his cheek. Gentle. It tickled. Healing.

She was healing him.

She.

Katara.

“Want to go home?”

He nodded, shakily.

“Y-yeah,” he faltered. “Let…let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a little longer to write, since school's getting busier as the semester wraps up. Hopefully, it was worth the wait though! :)


	5. The Tea Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his panic attack and a conversation with Katara, Zuko realizes he needs to tell Uncle Iroh the truth.

Zuko woke up in his bedroom. His royal attire was off. His ornate robes were nowhere to be found. His hairpiece was gone, letting his hair freely spill all over the pillow underneath him.

He sat up and noticed the majority of his clothes were gone. His pants were still on, but his tunic and shoes were off as well. 

Rubbing his eyes, he looked over to the other side of the bed. A figure was curled up beside him, her thick hair falling back behind her.

_Katara_.

Zuko smiled.

_She looks so peaceful in her sleep. So beautiful._

She stirred slightly and rubbed her eyes. Opening them slowly, he was immediately met by her stunning, sapphire gaze.

“Zuko?” she muttered, her voice still full of sleep. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah, I just woke up.” His voice was just as groggy as hers.

She sat up and stretched her arms in the air. He watched as her muscles tensed before relaxing. She sat closer to him, putting her head on his right shoulder.

“Are you feeling better?”

Zuko nodded. “What happened?”

Katara’s face fell slightly. “You had a panic attack at the festival. It was really bad. You couldn’t walk or breathe or anything.”

“Oh.”

The two sat together wordlessly for several moments. Neither knew what to say. Eventually, it was Katara who broke the silence.

“Do you know what caused it?” she asked. “It was when the street performer pretended to shoot flames at us.”

The memories came back immediately. The performer’s face melting into that of his father. The sound of the fireworks.

“I-uh…I think it brought back memories of when…of when I…” He didn’t know what to say. Without realizing it, he brought his hand to left eye. Katara noticed and nodded. He was glad he didn’t have to say anything.

“The fireworks only made it worse,” she muttered.

“They sounded like gunpowder explosions.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but—” Katara’s eyes glimmered with unspoken emotions. “I wish I could’ve helped you.”

Zuko grabbed her hands. “You did help me. I’m sorry I put you through that.”

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Don’t apologize for that. You know I’ll always be there for you.”

He nodded. He wanted to believe it, but he didn’t want to be let down either.

_You don’t deserve her sympathy. Her comfort._

_You don’t deserve her._

He moved away slightly from her touch. Her face grew longer.

“You, uh, you started overheating,” Katara said, “so I took off your robes. I would’ve called a servant over, but I didn’t want them to see you like…well…in that state.”

He blushed at the idea of Katara being the one to take his clothes off. He squirmed slightly, feeling his pants get tighter. He tried to ignore it.

“You fell asleep shortly after. You wore yourself out, so I think you needed the sleep.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Katara.”

She smiled. It was small and tight, but genuine.

“Can you, uh…”

Katara’s eyebrow quirked up.

“Can you…stay the night with me…please?” Zuko asked, whispering the last bit.

_You’re so weak. Why do you need her to stay in here with you? Are you too much of a coward to be alone? You’re such a failure. A burden on everyone._

“Of course!” Katara’s small smile widened.

Zuko breathed a sigh of relief and fell back onto the mattress. Katara cuddled up next to him, putting her head on his chest. She wrapped her arms around his torso, breathing in the smell of campfires and just _Zuko._

Her hair tickled his bare chest, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He pulled her closer to him, resting his hands on her soft skin.

They fell asleep immediately that night.

* * *

“They’re getting worse,” Zuko said. His golden eyes glimmered, but his gaze fell at his lap. “The thoughts.”

Katara nodded solemnly, raking a comb through Zuko’s hair. It was getting so long now. She loved to play with it. It was so soft and silky, and she loved the feeling of it on her fingertips. Just as she loved the little, content noises that slipped out of Zuko’s throat as she massaged his scalp and played with the soft strands.

The sun had barely risen. Although Katara would always sleep in a bit, she’d been waking up with Zuko the past few days. It was just easier that way.

“Have you told anyone else?” Katara asked, gliding the comb through his smooth, raven locks.

Zuko shook his head. “No.” He closed his eyes. Shame pooled on his chest. “No, I haven’t.”

“You need to tell Uncle Iroh,” Katara urged. “I know you said you don’t want to, but you really need this.”

“I know,” he muttered. He tilted his head down. “I’m just…"

_A failure._

_Weak._

_A burden._

“Scared.”

Katara hugged him from behind. Her arms were tight around his torso. His chest tightened, but his heart soared.

“There’s no reason to be scared,” she said. “He loves you, and he’s going to help you through this. Better than I can. That’s not to say I won’t help you—because I will—but I just want to make sure you get the support you need.”

_You don’t deserve their support._

_You don’t deserve them._

Tears gathered at his eyelashes before slipping down to the tip of his nose.

_You’re so weak. Has Father taught you nothing?_

Zuko closed his eyes and hugged himself. It hurt. Everything hurt. He felt so weak.

_“What did I tell you?” Ozai’s voice boomed through the throne room. “Have you learned nothing, boy?”_

_“I’m sorry, Father,” Zuko said. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”_

_“Stop begging. It only makes you look weaker.”_

_Ozai released his grip on Zuko’s tunic and watched as the young prince hit the floor. He collapsed on the tile, wincing at the pain in his side._

_Tears blurred his vision, but he desperately blinked them away. He couldn’t let his father see them._

_“Crying is a form of weakness,” Ozai hissed. “And you have the audacity to cry in front of the council members?”_

_“I’m sorry,” Zuko said. His eyes stung. His tears threatened to slip down his cheeks, but he squeezed his eyelids shut even tighter._

_“You should be ashamed.” He kicked Zuko’s ribcage, over and over until he heard the bones crack under the pressure._

_The little boy squeaked in pain. He winced, clutching at his sides. It hurt so badly. Everything ached._

_“And making noises of pain? Do you want the others to know how weak you are?” He grabbed Zuko by the throat, slamming him up against the wall. “Answer me, Prince Zuko!”_

_“N-no, sir.”_

_“Do not stutter.”_

_“No…no, sir,” Zuko choked out breathlessly._

_Ozai dropped him again. He landed on the floor, inhaling deeply. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen. His ribs hurt. He wished everything were over._

_“You’re disgusting,” Ozai spewed. “You’re a worthless excuse for a prince.”_

_Zuko dipped his head down. “I know,” he said. “I know.”_

“Zuko, please.”

Katara’s voice snapped him out of his flashback.

“Please, promise me you’ll tell him.” Her sapphire eyes were watery. “Promise me you’ll tell him.”

Zuko closed his eyes, swallowing back his tears. He nodded. “I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

* * *

It was impossible to hide these thoughts from Katara. She could read him like an open book. She always seemed to know when something was wrong, and although she’d never pry, she always gave him the option to talk if he needed to. If not, she was more than content with simply holding him, hugging the thoughts away.

However, the rest of the Gaang was oblivious to the warzone inside his skull. He didn’t think they meant to be. They were just busy. They had a lot on their plates, and they were naïve anyway.

In a way, he was grateful. He didn’t want to admit how weak he was for having these thoughts (and listening to them).

But whenever he saw the sad look Katara gave him whenever he opened up to her, he wished she wasn’t the only one to carry that burden.

It wasn’t until the fourth panic attack that week—one after a council meeting with some Earth Kingdom advisors—that he knew he needed to speak to Iroh.

The journey to Ba Sing Se wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Part of him was grateful that the others wanted to come. He needed the company, otherwise his thoughts would eat him alive. But on the other hand, he didn’t want them there. He knew he was gloomier than usual, and he hated pushing that on the others.

As soon as Appa landed, everyone rushed off the saddle, jumping off the side to stretch their legs. Zuko slid down, ignoring the side conversations from the others as he looked up at the building in front of them.

The Jasmine Dragon.

Zuko’s throat tightened. He felt his palms grow sweaty, and he wiped them on his pants.

_I can’t do this._

“It’s okay, Zuko,” Katara whispered, low enough that only he could hear. “He’s not going to think of you any differently. He’ll still love you.”

He smiled. It was all he could do to keep from throwing up.

“Thanks, Katara,” he whispered. She took his hand and squeezed it gently, releasing it before the others could see. He wished she kept holding it.

The others pooled into the Jasmine Dragon, and Zuko trailed behind them. His eyes skimmed the interior of the tea shop, looking around for his surrogate father.

“Uncle Iroh!” Toph shouted. She bolted towards the counter before leaping over it. A small “oof” was heard, and Zuko looked over to see the young girl had knocked his uncle over.

The Gaang had all simultaneously adopted the man into their family. Toph began calling him “Uncle Iroh,” and the others soon followed suit. However, Iroh was more than happy to love on the ragtag group of kids.

“I did not realize you were coming,” Iroh said with a warm smile. “Come sit.”

“It was kinda last minute,” Sokka answered. He pulled up a stool near the closest table and took a seat. “Zuko wanted to come, and we all jumped at the chance to see you.”

Iroh smiled and looked over at his nephew. However, upon seeing the sad, distant look in his eyes, his smile dropped.

He walked over to Zuko, watching intently as his nephew stared at the floor.

“Nephew…do you need to talk?”

Zuko’s throat closed up immediately. He tried to swallow, but it hurt. Instead, he simply nodded.

“Uncle, I—”

“Come, nephew,” Iroh said. “Come to the back with me. We’ll talk there.”

* * *

The back room was Iroh’s makeshift office. It wasn’t as if he really needed it, but he enjoyed having a place to relax when he wanted it.

Two mats faced each other, and a few pillows were scattered along the floor. Iroh grabbed a teapot from the corner of the room and two mugs.

“Try to breathe, nephew,” Iroh said, heating up the water inside it. “Do you want green tea or jasmine?”

“Green tea,” Zuko choked out. He didn’t know if he’ll be able to drink it or not, but he hoped having something warm would help relax his muscles.

He felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to tell him. He couldn’t.

But he couldn’t let Katara down either.

_He needs to know_. _He can help you, but only if you let him._

_You don’t deserve his help. Why would he want to help you anyway?_

Zuko closed his eyes.

_Stop it. Just stop, please._

Iroh poured two cups of tea and handed one of them to Zuko. “Drink. It’ll calm you down.”

Zuko nodded and took a sip. It burned his tongue, but he couldn’t seem to care.

“Now, what is it, nephew?” Iroh asked. “What do you need to talk about?”

Zuko couldn’t stop his tears from flooding his eyes. He dipped his head down to disguise them.

_Don’t show emotions. Don’t show weakness. Otherwise, Father will find out._

“Uncle, I…”

The dam broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your kind comments and kudos really motivated me to write this chapter, so enjoy a quick update! I hope you enjoy!


	6. Empathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko admits to his uncle everything that's been going on.

Flood.

That was the only word he could use to describe the wave of sheer emotions that escaped him.

Flood.

Tears flooded from his eyes, streaming down his face and covering his cheeks in saltwater.

All his emotions flooded out of his throat as he bawled his eyes out. Breaking in front of the one person he never wanted to disappoint.

Zuko shook, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed loudly. He pushed his hands into his eyes, trying to stop the heavy flow of tears that flooded out of them. His throat was tight. His chest ached. His stomach twisted. Everything hurt.

“Nephew…”

Iroh gently took the mug from Zuko’s shaking hands and put it on the floor beside them. Wrapping his arms around the younger boy, he let him sink his face into his shoulder, soaking his tunic in tears.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” Zuko hiccupped. His voice was watery and thick, flooded with emotions. “I-I di-didn’t—”

“Zuko,” Iroh hushed, “it’s okay.” He held him tightly with one hand and cradled his head with the other. “It’s okay.”

 _It’s not okay. He doesn’t know yet. He doesn't know what you did._

Zuko buried his face deeper into his uncle’s tunic. He felt horrible that he was soaking the fabric, and it only made him cry harder.

_You don’t deserve this. You’re ruining his clothes. He’s trying to help, and you’re paying him back by destroying his things._

“It’s alright,” Iroh soothed. “It’s going to be okay.” He stroked his nephew’s hair and rubbed his back.

Zuko cried harder. He wanted to shy away from his uncle’s touch. He didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve his comfort. But he felt so weak. He couldn’t do anything but slump into Iroh’s touch.

They stayed like that until Zuko ran out of tears. His face was still red, and his cheeks were sticky with dried saltwater. He was no longer shaking. Instead, he just laid there limply, his head on Iroh’s shoulder.

“Nephew,” Iroh asked, still rubbing Zuko’s back. He didn’t want to move him until he knew he was ready for it. For now, he was more than content with letting his adopted son stay close to him. “What happened?”

“I…” Zuko’s voice died in his throat. Tears gathered at his lashes, and Zuko squeezed his eyelids shut. _Just when I thought I was done._

“It’s okay,” Iroh said. “You speak when you’re ready.”

Zuko nodded against his uncle’s shoulder. He took a few deep breaths, trying to find his voice again.

“Uncle, I…I, uh…I’ve been hav-having these…these thoughts,” Zuko choked out. “They, uh, they’ve been going on for a while now, and…”

_Here it comes. He’s going to hate you. He’s going to burn you for showing weakness, for showing emotion. Just like Father did._

“I tried to…I…”

He couldn’t say it. Saying it meant admitting it. Both to himself and his uncle.

Zuko pulled away from his touch. He didn’t want to meet his eyes, but he forced himself to.

_You have to be strong. Don’t cower away from this. You brought this upon yourself._

Iroh’s face didn’t look grim like he had expected. Instead, there was a different emotion in his eyes.

Sadness.

Sadness and empathy.

It made him crack.

Zuko pushed his face into his hands as he felt the tears slip out of his eyes again. His shoulders shook, and he felt his face warm up.

“I wanted to kill myself,” Zuko sobbed. “I wanted to die, and I almost did.”

Iroh reached out and pulled Zuko back into his arms. He cradled him against his body, letting his natural warmth soak into the younger boy’s skin to soothe him.

“I almost did it. I almost killed myself,” Zuko wept. His tears streamed down his face harder. His voice shook. He felt so exposed. “I was about to jump off the palace roof. An-and the only reason…the only…”

He bawled harder, pushing his face deeper and deeper into Iroh’s warmth. He wanted to disappear. Maybe if he sank deep enough into his uncle, he would.

“The only reason I didn’t was because Katara found me first.” The words flew from his mouth. “If she…if she didn’t come, I would’ve jumped. I-I would’ve done it.”

Zuko sobbed uncontrollably. The walls he’d tried so hard to build up collapsed, leaving nothing but a heartbreaking display of pent-up trauma.

Iroh held his son closely, letting him get his emotions out. “It’s okay, Zuko,” he whispered into his hair. “It’s okay.”

 _No, it’s not._

_He’s lying. He’s lying to you._

“I understand.”

Those words made Zuko’s chest clench tighter.

“When I lost my son,” Iroh soothed, “I had those same thoughts. And they only got worse when my birthright was revoked.”

He pulled Zuko away from him, holding his shoulders as he looked into his watery, golden eyes.

“But I got better,” he said. “And you will too.”

“B-but how?” Zuko whimpered. “I-I don’t…”

“I found a reason to live,” Iroh said. “You.”

Tears welled up in Zuko’s eyes. He dipped his head down to hide them, but Iroh lifted his chin up instead, begging him to meet his gaze again.

“I knew I had to keep going because I had to take care of you. With Ursa gone, there would be no one else to defend you. I had to stay to protect you.

“Maybe your reason won’t be the same as mine,” Iroh said, “but you will find something in this world to keep you here. You will find a reason to continue.”

“Uncle, I—” More tears slipped from Zuko’s eyes. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Yes, you can. And you will.” He squeezed his nephew’s shoulders encouragingly. “Because I am here to help you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a shorter chapter, but I felt it would be stronger and more emotional this way. Please enjoy it!


	7. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara shares comfort and conversation with Iroh after learning that he talked with Zuko.

All of the crying had worn Zuko out, and he accidentally fell asleep on the mat in Iroh’s back room.

Iroh didn’t mind. He knew his nephew needed it.

His heart ached as he watched the younger boy sleep. He knew that his family’s story was full of tragedy and trauma, and it impacted each member differently. He remembered what it felt like to be in Zuko’s shoes, remembered the feeling that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

_It was hard to think about. The night he stood in the palace, in the bathroom connected to his bedroom. The bottle of sleeping pills was in his hand, enough to knock him out for good. His reflection in the mirror was haunting, and Iroh couldn’t stand to look at himself._

_Because he looked like Lu Ten._

_He clutched the countertop with both hands. His son—his beloved, only child—was gone. He had lost the affection, the birthright, from his father. He shamed his army at the Siege of Ba Sing Se, therefore shaming the rest of his nation while he was at it. He had no one._

_Tears welled in his dark amber eyes. He closed his eyes, refusing to look at the reflection that looked so much like the son he missed dreadfully._

_He wanted to do it. He wanted to kill himself._

_And he would._

_Just as he unscrewed the lid of the pill bottle, he heard a scream._

_The same scream he heard every night._

_It was high-pitched, full of fear and pain. Accompanied by begging, pleading, “Please, Father, please stop!”_

_Iroh’s gut wrenched. He clenched the bottle tighter._

_It was impossible to stop Ozai, the new Fire Lord. Had he risked it when Azulon was still alive, he would’ve been shamed—perhaps even banished—for his ideals. “A man has a right to raise his children however he wishes,” Azulon had said. “There’s nothing wrong with some discipline.”_

_But if he tried to stop Ozai now, he risked being thrown in prison or maybe even killed. He couldn’t go against the Fire Lord._

_Although he couldn’t prevent the screams—the bloody wounds and burns and bruises that painted his nephew’s pale skin each night, he could provide him with comfort._

_Just as Ursa had._

_As another scream rang through the palace walls, Iroh found himself dropping the bottle back into the drawer._

_He couldn’t do it. Not when there were people that needed him._

_He fell to his knees, breathing in deeply to prevent himself from crying out in shame._

_No._

_He wouldn’t kill himself._

_Not when Zuko needed him._

Iroh watched his sleeping nephew sadly. _And he still does need you._

He stroked his soft, raven hair gently before standing to his feet. Bringing Zuko’s now-cold cup of green tea with him, he left the boy alone, shutting the door behind him softly.

He dumped the rest of the tea in the sink and looked around the tea shop. No one was around. He had closed early, so he didn’t expect any customers, but he thought Zuko’s friends would still be here.

_Perhaps it is a good thing they left early_ , Iroh thought. He was sure the others would’ve heard the heart-wrenching sobs of anguish and knocked the door down to see him.

Walking across the decorative mat that laid on the floor of the tea shop, he crossed the room and peeked his head out the door. Appa was still there, waiting outside the building, but the others were gone.

As if on cue, he heard laughter coming from down the street. It rang through the air, and Iroh smiled to himself before entering the shop again.

Going behind the counter, he began preparing tea for the Gaang. Hibiscus for Katara, Aang, and Suki. Chai for Sokka, Toph, and himself. He set aside an empty cup for Zuko in case he woke up soon.

“Hey, Uncle!” Aang said as he pushed the door open. The others trailed in behind him, matching smiles printed on their faces.

“Welcome back,” Iroh said. He wondered if they knew about Zuko.

Momo flew up to the counter, chattering at the old man. Iroh grabbed a tea biscuit and gave it to the winged lemur, who accepted it gratefully.

“I’m making tea,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting cold out. Tea warms the hands and the heart.”

“Thanks, Uncle,” Toph said. She climbed up onto a stool next to the counter.

“What were you up to?” he asked. He poured the chai tea into three of the cups before grabbing the pot with the hibiscus tea.

“While you talked to Zuko, we visited the city again,” Sokka said. “Look at my new sword!”

“It looks very regal,” Iroh complimented. He handed each person their respective cup. At this point, he knew what all of their favorite tea flavors were, and he was more than willing to respect their requests.

“Yeah, it’s not as good as the space sword,” Sokka said sadly, a wistful look in his eyes. “But it’s still really awesome!”

“Indeed, it is,” Iroh said with a smile. He took a sip of the drink, savoring its warmth as it soothed his throat.

“Where’s Zuko?” Katara asked. There was a look in her eyes, one of curiosity and sadness. _She knew_ , Iroh remembered. _She was the one to find him._

“He’s sleeping,” he answered. “It’s been a long day.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Toph said.

Katara stared wordlessly at her cranberry-colored tea. Iroh put his hand on hers. “It’s okay,” he said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

She looked up at him graciously, her sapphire eyes softening.

“What’s wrong?” Sokka asked. “What’s going to be okay?”

“Nothing,” Katara said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Iroh only chuckled sadly.

* * *

That night, everyone stayed in Iroh’s apartment, the one just above his tea shop. It was large enough for everyone, given that they doubled-up in some of the rooms. No one minded though. Instead, they preferred it. After months of traveling together and sleeping beside each other, it felt weird to sleep alone.

Zuko hadn’t woken up. Not even for dinner. It was making Katara antsy.

When she was sure that Suki and Toph were asleep, Katara slipped out of their shared guest room. She tiptoed down the old stairs, wincing slightly when they creaked. The tea shop was dark, but the glow of the lantern on the counter lit up a small area of the room.

“Can’t sleep?” a voice asked from the corner.

Katara jumped in surprise. She whipped her head around to look at the lantern. “Uncle?!”

Iroh smiled at her softly. “I knew you would come down eventually. I’m making tea. Would you like some?”

The girl was still in a state of shock. “I…uh, yes, please.” She collapsed in one of the stools at the counter.

Iroh reached for one of the teacups in the cabinet—for the porcelain set with cerulean lotus flowers painted on it, the one he knew was her favorite. “Ginger peach?” he asked. He knew that was the kind she liked best.

“If you don’t mind,” Katara said with a small smile.

“Not at all,” he said. He focused on the lantern’s flame, brightening it a little more. After the kitchen was bright enough, he grabbed two small bowls, a saucepan, a knife, and some ginger root.

“I heard what you did for my nephew,” Iroh said. He began scraping small strips of the ginger root off with the knife, peeling it. The pieces fell into one of the bowls. “I’m very grateful.”

“He told you?” Katara asked. It made her heart swell. _He’s getting help._

Iroh nodded as he continued to peel the ginger. “He did. And I’m glad he did. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost both of my sons.”

Katara nodded grimly. She watched as Iroh put the knife and ginger down, pushing the bowl aside. He reached for the other bowl before grabbing a peach from the fridge.

“Does anyone else know?” Iroh asked, cutting the peach into several slices.

Katara shook her head. “No, it’s just us. And he would’ve kept it like that. He didn’t want anyone to know.”

“My nephew is very stubborn,” Iroh said. “He always feels that he needs to do everything by himself. He never liked asking for help.” He grabbed a masher out of the drawer and pushed the kitchen gadget into the peaches, squeezing out the juice. “He’s gotten better since joining your friend group, but he still struggles.”

Katara nodded. “I just wish I could help him. I wish he’d let me in.”

“I understand,” Iroh said. He brought the bowl of ginger to the stove and scraped it into the pan. He added some water and honey to the mixture before sending a small flame towards the stove, one that landed directly underneath the pan. “It’ll take some time, but he’ll open up eventually.” He turned to the side to begin boiling some green tea.

“What should I do?” Katara asked. “I’ve never gone through this before, and I don’t know anyone who has. I don’t really know how to help him.”

“Just listen to him,” Iroh said. He drained the peach juice from the bowl. “He just needs to talk it out. He doesn’t always want to, but he’s always better off afterward.” He turned to the stove again to move the ginger mixture around the pan with a spatula. “He doesn’t always need advice, just to know that someone cares about him.”

“Do you think he’ll tell the others?” Katara asked.

“With time.” Iroh grabbed the saucepan and drained the ginger and honey infused-water into a tall glass. “He is going through severe suffering and doesn’t want to admit that he’s scared.” He poured the peach juice into the glass, followed by the now-ready green tea.

Katara watched as Iroh mixed the green tea, peach juice, and ginger extract together before pouring it into the pretty teacup she loved so much.

“Whatever happens, I want you to know that I’m proud of you,” Iroh said, handing her the teacup. “And I’m so grateful you’re there for him. But if it ever gets to be too much to bear this burden with him, please do not hesitate to come to me.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Uncle.”

He smiled.

“No, Katara, thank you.”

* * *

After finishing her tea and conversation with Iroh, Katara found herself slipping silently into the back room.

The room was pitch black save for the little candle in her hands, one Iroh gave her before he headed upstairs.

She saw Zuko’s sleeping figure curled up on the mat. He slept on his right side, his scar exposed to the air. She smiled. He only slept on his right side around people he trusted. Although he would never admit it, she knew the burn had damaged his sight and hearing. He always slept on his left so he could hear his surroundings. When he slept on his right side, she knew he trusted the people around him. It made her heart warm.

She put the candle down on the floor and sat down beside it, directly in front of Zuko. She stared at his face, at each of his features. The sharpness of his jawline. His high cheekbones. His thin nose. His long eyelashes. He looked so peaceful, so handsome.

Katara stilled.

_Handsome_.

She called him handsome.

She felt her cheeks turn bright red and her face become warm.

It was okay to call her friends handsome, right?

It was just a compliment. It wasn’t like it meant anything.

Katara shook her head, ignoring the flustered feeling and the blushing of her cheeks. Instead, she laid down beside Zuko, still studying each of his features.

She couldn’t lie. He _was_ handsome.

With the candle burning beside her, she fell asleep, her last thought of Zuko.

* * *

_The palace hallways were dark, lit by nothing except a few lanterns on either side. Despite the temperature, Zuko felt cold. Goosebumps covered his arms. He tried to rub them away._

_“Prince Zuko,” a voice called from the master bedroom._

_Zuko stilled. He couldn’t breathe._

_“Come on, Prince Zuko. Don’t keep me waiting.”_

_He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. His fingernails sank into his palms. Hesitantly, he began walking over to the voice._

_Upon entering the room, he ducked his head down. Ozai stood in front of him, smiling sadistically before shutting the door._

_He wasted no time stroking Zuko’s cheek softly. The boy grimaced, but he willed himself not to move._

_Without hesitation, Ozai slapped Zuko. The force of his hand knocked him over, and he hit the floor with a bounce._

_“Get up,” Ozai snapped. He kicked his son in the stomach, watching as the boy cried out. “You’re weak.”_

_“I-I’m sorry,” Zuko sniffled. He tried to push himself up, but his arms felt so weak._

_Ozai scoffed and kicked him again. Zuko fell to the floor again. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to cry. Not in front of his father._

_He felt himself be yanked up and pinned against the wall. He could feel Ozai’s breath on him, and he closed his eyes shut._

_His robes were yanked open, followed by his tunic. Ozai grabbed his shoulder and heated up his fingertips, leaving burning, red blisters in the pale skin. Zuko cried out, but Ozai simply slapped a hand over his mouth._

_“Don’t let them hear you,” he whispered. His voice was full of malice and sadism. He slid a hand down. “This stays between us.”_

* * *

Katara heard a small whimper from beside her. Turning over sleepily, she tried to focus on the sleeping figure beside her. She was met by the scared look painted on Zuko’s face, his features scrunched up in fear and pain.

Sticking her hand out, she laced her hand through his hair, stroking it gently. She wrapped her other arm around him and held him close to her.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. She cuddled him closer. “I’m here for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because the last chapter was a little shorter, I wanted to make up for it with this one. I hope you enjoy! :)


	8. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara, Suki, and Toph have a much-needed conversation about where Katara stands with Zuko.

Zuko woke up to hair tickling his neck and the smell of coconuts and flowers. Looking down, he noticed Katara cuddled up against him, her face cradled into his neck. He smiled and resisted the urge to press a small kiss to her hair.

She squirmed slightly next to him, cuddling closer to him. The urge grew stronger.

He wished he could wake up to this—to _her_ —every morning.

_Don’t get your hopes up. She would never like you._

_You’re weak. Ugly. Worthless. Unlovable._

_She’d be so much better off without you._

_She could do so much better._

Zuko buried his face into her hair.

_I know._

* * *

When Katara woke up, the first thing she noticed was how warm she was. It wasn’t bad or uncomfortable. Instead, it was pleasant, comfy. Like waking up bundled up in her toasty furs back home in the cold snow.

The second thing she noted was the presence of a pair of arms wrapped around her. Holding her closely. Protectively.

She scooted backed slightly to see whose arms they were, and the hold immediately fell away. She missed it.

Gazing up, she saw Zuko looking down at her. Although the sun was barely up, his golden eyes still seemed to glimmer like the statues in the throne room.

She smiled at him softly. “Good morning,” she whispered.

“Good morning.” He smiled back at her. She didn’t realize how lovely his smile was.

_Stop it, Katara. Get a grip._

“When did you get here?” Zuko asked. His voice was low, so quiet that only she could hear him.

“I came last night,” she answered. “Are you hungry? You missed dinner.”

“I’m okay,” he said. He shifted away from her to sit up. She missed the comfort of his warmth. “I’m going to go meditate.”

She nodded. “I should probably go back to the guest room.” She stood up and looked down at him. He had slight bedhead, and she wanted to laugh. “I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, uh, see you.”

She smiled at him before shutting the door behind her. The tea shop was a little brighter than it was last night, and she easily found the stairs. Avoiding the areas where they creaked, she tiptoed up to the guest room and snuck into it. She shut the door silently before exhaling deeply.

“Where have you been all night, Sweetcakes? Locking lips with Sparky?”

Katara jumped a foot and a half into the air. “Toph?!”

“You heard me.” Toph wasn’t looking directly at her, but she was facing her.

“How did you know—”

“Earthbending, remember?” She swung her feet up, propping them up on a pillow. “And Suki knows too.”

“Suki?” Katara looked over to the bed. “You too?”

“Yeah…I noticed you were gone when I went to the bathroom,” the Kyoshi warrior admitted.

“So how was it?” Toph teased. “Cuddling all up next to him?”

“That’s not…we weren’t….”

“Oh, that’s definitely what you were doing.” She grinned wickedly. “You can’t even try to hide it. Your heart rate is speeding up.”

Katara blushed madly. She knew although Toph couldn’t see her cheeks furiously turn red, she could still pick up on her body language.

Suki giggled. “Oh, relax, Katara,” she said. “So you’ve got a crush? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“A crush? I don’t have a crush!”

“Oh, yeah, you do,” Suki said. “Toph and I have noticed for a while now. It’s about time you come to terms with it.”

Katara huffed and rolled her eyes before collapsing onto her bed, her back facing the other two girls. “Well, when I _actually_ have a crush on him, you’ll be the first ones to know.”

Toph and Suki giggled to themselves, and Katara flipped over to glare at them. “What’s so funny, huh?”

“Katara, sweetie,” Suki said, “you said ‘when,’ not ‘if’ you have a crush on him.”

The waterbender’s cheeks became impossibly redder, and she groaned before burying her face into the pillow. Toph and Suki just laughed harder.

* * *

Two weeks later, and Katara knew they were right. She _did_ have a crush on Zuko. But it wasn’t just a crush. No. Crushes were for middle schoolers. Crushes meant puppy love, sending notes across the classroom, and giggling at the slight mention of his name.

No.

Katara was head over heels.

Deeply.

Madly.

Desperately in love with him.

And she hated herself for it.

* * *

“Suki, what am I supposed to do?” Katara asked. The soles of her shoes were completely worn from pacing the floor so many times. Her hair was loose—free of any braids, buns, or loopies—from where she had been running her fingers through it nervously. Her hands were sweaty. She couldn’t think about anything else.

“Well, first, you need to get a grip,” Suki chuckled. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Katara whipped her head around to look at her friend. “It may as well be! I mean, I can’t be in love with him! He’s the Fire Lord! I’m going to be an ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe! We’re too busy for relationships.”

“But think of how good it’ll be politically,” Suki said, leaning forward. She put her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. “I mean, you two could mend the broken bonds between your nations.” Katara glared at her, and she put her hands up in mock defense. “What? I’m just saying. This could be good for you.”

Katara groaned and slumped into a chair beside her friend. “I don’t know what to do. I mean, who’s to say he even likes me back?”

“Oh, honey,” Suki said with a smile and a small pat on Katara’s shoulder, “he definitely likes you.”

“You can’t possibly know that.”

“Everyone in the spirit-fearing _world_ knows that.” Suki grabbed Katara’s hands and squeezed them gently. “Look, even if you don’t see it, we can. Just talk to him, okay? What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“He says no?”

“Exactly.” Suki grinned.

“That’s not a good thing.”

“But if the worst-case scenario is a simple ‘no,’ then there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Katara took a deep, shaky breath before exhaling it. “Okay,” she whispered. “I guess I’ll talk to him.”

“Atta girl!” Suki stood up, pulling her boyfriend’s sister up with her. “Let’s go tell that boy how you really feel!”

“Right now?” Katara squeaked.

“Yes, right now.”

“I’m not ready!”

“It’s now or never. You don’t want to lose that confidence!”

“I didn’t have any to begin with.”

Suki rolled her eyes. “Do you really need me to make Toph drag you there?”

“I’ll tell him soon,” Katara said, “I promise. Just give me a day or two to figure out how exactly I’m going to navigate that kind of conversation.”

She nodded. “Okay, but if you start taking too long, I’m calling Toph.”

* * *

Liking Zuko _like that_ only made the nights harder.

When she would crawl into his bed and wrap her arms around him after one of his nightmares, all she could focus on was how close they were. The feeling of their skin touching and the rapid beating of her heart. It made her nervous but exhilarated too.

One night, she couldn’t sleep. Typically, she could fall asleep in minutes when cuddling with Zuko at night, but tonight was different.

Her thoughts were racing. She couldn’t decide between the need to tell him and the need to hide her own feelings for the good of the world.

_There are so many people to please_ , she thought. _You can’t do that by being with him._

_You’ve been taking care of everyone for so long. You should take care of yourself every once in a while too._

_But I can’t do that. I can’t hurt my tribe, who would reel over if they knew I liked the Fire Lord. I can’t hurt the political leaders, who need someone with a steady head. I can’t hurt the group, can’t hurt Aang._

_Aang._

Katara wanted to bury her face in the back of Zuko’s neck and never leave. She was so focused on Zuko that she had totally forgotten about the young boy’s obvious crush on her.

She didn’t want to be with Aang. She didn’t want a relationship with someone who put her on a pedestal. She would eventually fall off.

That was something she liked about Zuko. In his eyes, they were equals. He never put her on a pedestal like Aang did, never worshipped the ground she walked on. He didn’t put unrealistic expectations on her because he thought she was perfect.

_But can I really hurt Aang? The whole world expects us to eventually get together. How am I supposed to fight that?_

Feeling her mind start to race, she closed her eyes and tried to calm her racing heart. She focused on the sound of Zuko’s breathing. His back was pressed against her chest, and her arms were wrapped around him. Although he would never admit it, she knew that he secretly liked being the little spoon.

She smiled, lifting one of her arms up to stroke his soft, fluffy hair.

_How am I supposed to balance my own needs with the needs of the world?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not moving too fast, but I'm desperately craving Zutara and want to move this story along so I can get to some cute, fluffy scenes. :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this new addition!


	9. Disappearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko both go through a night of torment.

A few weeks passed, and the pounding of Katara’s heart never ceased. It didn’t matter that she was an ambassador now, that she had a job to do and duties to fulfill. Her attachment to the Fire Lord only grew.

After a long day of meetings with different council members and letters back and forth from home, she always looked forward to crawling into bed with Zuko. Her responsibilities were always rewarded with cuddles. Comfort. Warmth. Affection that radiated off his warm, campfire-scented body.

She found herself slipping into his bedroom earlier and earlier each night. She no longer waited until his nightmares woke her up or until everyone else had fallen asleep. Instead, she would head there immediately instead of her own room. She knew Zuko didn’t mind. He was always waiting for her.

His nightmares were still common, still nightly. However, she would hold him and stroke his hair until he calmed down and fell back asleep.

It was their own little routine, and neither wanted to admit how much they truly loved it.

* * *

Katara sat at her vanity as she ran her whalebone comb through her dark chocolate locks. The sun had set a little over an hour ago, and everyone in the palace was getting ready for bed, including herself.

She was dressed in her nightgown, a white, satin one her new handmaids had provided her with. She still wasn’t used to sleeping in something so thin, but she supposed it was better than sweating all night in the warm climate. After all, it never snowed in the Fire Nation like it did in the Southern Water Tribe.

She heard her door creak slightly, and she looked in the mirror behind her reflection to see who it was. Upon seeing Toph’s face, Katara turned around.

“I’m surprised no one has caught on,” Toph said. “It’s not exactly like you’re being sneaky.”

Katara huffed. “Is that really what you’re here for?”

“Yes and no.” She leaned against the wall, not quite watching Katara but facing her general direction. “I mean, Suki told me about how you were supposed to tell Zuko you liked him, but based on your heart rate, I’m guessing you still haven’t yet.”

Katara rolled her eyes although she knew Toph wouldn’t be able to see it. “You two need a better hobby.” She turned around to look back in the mirror, continuing to comb out the tangles in her hair.

“Why though? This is entertaining!”

“Well, it’s also _my_ love life. Get your own.”

“No can do, Sugar Queen. Besides, you should really be thanking us for not ratting you out. Imagine what the others would say.”

Katara stopped combing her hair. Turning around slowly, she looked over at Toph. “What do you mean?”

Toph shrugged. “Let’s face it. Sokka would go all ‘protective older brother mode,’ and Aang would have a literal tantrum. And that’s not even taking the people running the palace into consideration.”

Katara blanched and lowered her eyes. She lowered her arm, dropping her comb in her lap. “Do you really think they would care that much?”

“I don’t know,” Toph said. “I mean, these Fire Nation members all have a stick up their rears, and having their precious Fire Lord date a girl from the Water Tribe would make them drop dead.”

Katara knew that there would likely be plenty of outbursts. However, having someone else admit her fears just made them more real.

She nodded. “Yeah…you’re right.”

“Always am,” Toph said. “But I also came to ask for your help.”

“With what?”

“I want to write a letter to my parents,” Toph admitted, “and I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Of course,” Katara said. She gave the younger girl a tight-lipped, sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

That night, Katara didn’t go into Zuko’s room.

* * *

Zuko didn’t know how much time had passed. Usually, she was here by now. He didn’t think anything was going on that night, so she should’ve arrived a while ago.

He looked out the window. The sun had long since dipped down into the horizon, and a sliver of the moon was shining brightly in the sky. Based on its location, it was probably around midnight.

_Where is she?_

_You don’t actually think she’ll show up, do you? She’s never late. She doesn’t want to admit that she just doesn’t want to come anymore._

Zuko knitted his eyebrows and pulled his eyes away from the window.

_No. You’re wrong._

_No, I’m not. She doesn’t want to come, and she’s too nice to admit it._

_Stop it. She’ll come. I know it._

_You just don’t want to admit to yourself that you know I’m right. I mean, if she really wanted to be here, don’t you think she would’ve showed up by now?_

Zuko stood up, rising from his bed. _Maybe something’s wrong. I should go look for her._

_Just let her go. Agni, you’re so selfish. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to come, so you might as well just leave her alone. Typical Zuko, always thinking of himself._

He sat down again, pushing his face into his hands and willing the voice in his head away.

_Stop. Just stop._

_You’ve always been like this, ever since you were born. Always so selfish. You always think about yourself. Your mom left, and what’s the first thing you did after becoming Fire Lord? Hunted her down. Even after she changed her name and face and destroyed her memories, you still forced her to come back. It’s obvious she didn’t want to return—that she wanted nothing to do with you, and now, you’re doing the same thing to Katara. Just leave her alone before she leaves the palace too. You wouldn’t want her changing her face and name like Mom did, would you?_

Tears welled up in Zuko’s eyes, and he pushed his face deeper into his hands.

_Look at you. Weak and selfish. Why are you even crying? You know I’m right. Truth hurts, doesn’t it? Father was right. You don’t deserve to be Fire Lord. The Fire Nation needs someone strong and selfless. You’re not fit to rule. Maybe you should just give the throne to Azula. It would make everyone happier. I mean, how many assassination attempts have there been since you first started ruling?_

Zuko stood up. _I need to get out of here._

_Running away from your problems again? You really are weak, aren’t you?_

Zuko walked faster. He grabbed a tunic out of his wardrobe and slid it over his bare chest as he continued down the hallway.

Closing his eyes, he felt his gut twist as he passed Katara’s bedroom.

* * *

Katara flipped over on the soft mattress underneath her. She could feel the moon’s position—its power coursing through her—as it traveled throughout the sky. She knew she’d been awake a while. She flipped over again and pulled the blanket over her a little further.

She didn’t realize how much easier it was to sleep with someone next to her. She had fallen back into the routine of sleeping next to someone—particularly Zuko, and now, she couldn’t sleep without it.

She pulled the blanket around her tighter, trying to mimic the sensation of the natural warmth that radiated off his body. It wasn’t the same.

She propped the pillow up beside her and cuddled into it. It didn’t smell like Zuko did.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to picture herself next to him. His skin pressed against hers and his breath on her neck. But she couldn’t do it.

Despite the nagging in the back of her mind telling her not to, telling her that she had to do what was best for the world, she slid out of bed and grabbed a coat. She put it over her nightgown before disappearing through the doorframe.

She wandered down the hallway until she reached Zuko’s bedroom. The door was shut. She knocked gently and waited a few moments before pushing it open.

No one was in there.

She furrowed her eyebrows and crept into the room. The bed was in a state of disarray, but it didn’t look like he’d had a nightmare. Instead, it looked like he just got up and left.

_Maybe he’s just in the bathroom_ , Katara thought to herself. She crossed the bedroom to look into the attached bathroom, but the door was open. He wasn’t in there either.

Her heart started to race quicker. She hurried out of the bedroom and rushed down the hallway, peaking through each of the doors. She checked everywhere—the throne room, the kitchen, the dining hall, his office, all the spare rooms. But he was nowhere to be found.

_He’s got to be there. He’s got to be._ The air was cold, but she continued outside until she reached the palace garden. The ducks were all asleep on the pond. The area under the tree that Zuko liked to sit under was empty. He wasn’t there.

_No, no, no, no, no!_ Katara darted back inside, up all the stairs until she reached the top floor. Pushing the door open, she braced herself for the sight.

But the roof was empty.

Her heart clenched in her chest. She bolted out to look over the side of the roof.

_Please don’t be there. Tui and La, I don’t want to see him like that. I can’t see his body._

He wasn’t there.

He didn’t throw himself over the edge.

He was gone.

Katara fell to the ground on her knees. Tears sprung from her eyes, but she couldn’t find it in her to wipe them away.

_Zuko, please be safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to update roughly once every day or two, but I'm not sure how next week will play out. I'll be home from college, so I like to think I'll have more time. Maybe the chapters will get longer or maybe the updates will come quicker. I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> I also wanted to thank you all for the comments and kudos! They always brighten my whole day and make me want to keep pumping out chapters. :) 
> 
> I love you all, and hope you have an amazing day! Hope you enjoyed the latest update!


	10. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko has two much-needed conversations, one from each member of his support group.

It was so dark out. The fingernail shape of the moon and the little speckles of stars were the only things lighting Zuko’s way. Tugging on the reins gently, Zuko urged Appa forward. The wind was cold against his face, and it irritated his scar slightly.

He was glad the sky was clear. Clouds would’ve made it harder to see, especially considering it was already so dark out.

He was also infinitely glad that the palace was feeding Appa better. He remembered when he was an angsty teen, telling Aang that he thought the sky bison was supposed to fly faster. Now, with the correct diet, he finally was. Zuko thanked Agni. He didn’t have time to waste.

Upon seeing the familiar walls surrounding the city, Zuko pulled the reins, causing Appa to dip down. He scanned the buildings quickly as the two flew, coming closer and closer to the Upper Ring.

He saw the terracotta-colored roof and yanked Appa’s reins upward. The sky bison lowered to the ground, and Zuko immediately jumped off. He ran to the building to the potted plant on the right. He pushed in one of the leaves in the pot’s decorative carving, and a secret latch unlocked. Zuko grabbed the key and hurried to the front door. Sliding the key into the lock, he pushed the door open.

He was immediately met with the smell of tea leaves. Crossing the large, emerald and gold mat in the center of the floor. He went behind the counter and pushed the pale green curtain aside.

“Uncle?” Zuko croaked. His voice was raw from crying on the flight.

He walked up to the staircase and grabbed the railing tightly. He trudged up the steps slowly. He tightened his grip on the rail. He could feel his chest and throat tighten.

He heard the sound of a tsungi horn playing and thanked Agni that Iroh was still awake, that time zones were different here.

He found himself outside his uncle’s bedroom door. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves before knocking. The music stopped, and he heard his heavy footsteps approach the door.

Iroh opened the door. “Fire Lord Zuko,” he said, a smile growing on his features. “I’m so glad you stopped by.”

“Uncle, I need to talk to you.”

Iroh nodded grimly. _He must know._

“Let me get you some tea.”

* * *

Katara checked every room in the palace, much to the annoyance of everyone else. She would peek into every room before immediately shutting the door again. She ignored everyone’s questions, her own panic too high to think clearly.

With every second that Zuko was missing, Katara’s anxiety grew higher and higher. Her hands were permanently laced in her hair from where she kept running her fingers through it. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. It took everything in her to not wake everyone up with her sobs in the middle of the hallway.

A door opened up on her left, and Toph came out, rubbing her eyes. “Katara, what are you doing? Why are you doing laps around the palace? It’s four in the morning,” she whined.

“Toph, is Zuko in the palace?” Katara asked.

“Let me see.” Toph put her hands on the walls. She scanned the area through her hands and feet for several moments. Katara bit at her fingernails in nervousness. “Nope. He’s nowhere around.”

“That’s what I thought,” Katara muttered. She collapsed on the floor, drawing her knees up near her face to hug her legs.

“Don’t be upset,” Toph said. She knelt down next to her friend. “I’m sure he’ll be alright.”

“No, no, you don’t understand.” Her eyes welled up with tears. She tried to blink them away, but they slid down her cheeks instead. “I’m so worried about him. I don’t know where he is or…”

_Or if he’s alive._

She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself,” Toph said.

_No, no, no, you don’t get it._

_You don’t know about his suicidal thoughts._

_His attempt a few weeks ago._

“Just relax,” Toph said. “It’ll be alright.”

Katara nodded weakly. “Thanks, Toph.”

“Don’t mention it.” She punched the older girl’s arm before leaving her in the middle of the hallway.

Katara stood up and wiped her eyes. She readied herself to go back to her bedroom, but a chilling thought hit her.

_They don’t know about Zuko._

_If he kills himself, I’ll be the one who has to tell them why._

* * *

The chai tea felt warm in his hands. It was his favorite kind of tea, and he knew that was why Uncle Iroh had picked it.

“I don’t know what to do,” Zuko admitted. “I keep getting these thoughts, and some nights, it feels like they’re worse than others.”

Iroh nodded and took a sip of his own tea. He watched his nephew, looking for any signs in his body language.

“And tonight, it was the worst they’ve been in a few weeks.”

“Do you know what caused them? Just before you flew over.”

Iroh watched as Zuko’s eyes darted downwards. Discomfort.

“There…uh…there was a…uh, a habit that always…happened before bed, and it…she…” His eyes were facing downwards.

“Nephew, that’s normal for teenage boys,” Iroh said, smirking into his tea.

“ _What?_ ” Zuko’s eyes darted upwards to look at his uncle in shock. “No, that’s not—I-I don’t—”

Iroh laughed, and it took everything in Zuko to not flare up. His cheeks turned bright red, and he buried his face in his hands.

“Uncle, that’s…that’s not…it.” His cheeks flushed deeper, and he stumbled across his next few words. “I-uh…Katara always, uh, she always came to my room every night. It wasn’t…anything like…like _that_ , but we would just…I don’t know…lay together and talk.”

Iroh nodded. He leaned over to refill his teacup.

“It’s been going on for a few weeks now,” Zuko admitted, “but tonight, she just…stopped.”

“Do you know why she didn’t come?” Iroh asked.

“I don’t know,” Zuko said. He pulled his arms around his torso, hugging himself. “But I…I, um…I really like her.” He felt his cheeks turn even brighter. “A lot.”

Iroh smiled. “I’m glad you’re admitting your feelings for Miss Katara. Does she know yet?”

“No, I don’t think so. But after…after she didn’t…show up…”

He nodded. “I understand.”

Zuko grabbed the teacup again and shakily drank another sip. The chai tea was warm against his throat.

“I don’t think she wants to come back,” he admitted. He ran the tip of his index finger along the rim of the teacup. “And I don’t want to force her to keep coming if she doesn’t want to.”

“She is quite confrontational,” Iroh said thoughtfully. “I believe she would have told you outright if she wished to stop.”

“I don’t know,” Zuko murmured gently. He scratched at his arm, at the little burn scars that were so pale that they were hardly noticeable anymore against his own pallor.

“Do not give up on her so soon, Nephew. I’m sure there is more than meets the eye.”

Zuko nodded. His gaze fell down to his lap.

_He’s lying to you._

_No. You’re wrong. Uncle’s never lied to me before._

“As for your suicidal thoughts,” Iroh continued, “I think it would be wise if you took some time away from the throne every once in a while.”

Zuko’s eyes widened. “You mean step down?”

“No, I mean that you put too much time into your nation and not enough time into yourself.” Iroh took a sip of his tea, never dropping eye contact. “By taking some time for yourself, you can relieve these stresses.”

“Whenever I start slipping into a depression, I always work harder,” Zuko admitted. “To distract myself.”

“But nephew, it is only a temporary fix. What you need is a permanent solution. By keeping yourself busy with paperwork and meetings, you are only stressing yourself out further. Take some time doing things that you like to do.”

Zuko nodded. “I will, Uncle.”

“And as for Miss Katara,” Iroh said with a smile, “I think you should tell her.”

The Fire Lord knitted his eyebrows. “But what if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she actually doesn’t want to continue coming back every night?”

“Ah, but what if she does?”

“I don’t want to force her if she doesn’t want to.”

 _You already forced Mom back even after she got rid of you for a new family._

“Miss Katara is a strong-willed lady,” Iroh said. “She will not be forced into anything so easily. You give yourself too much credit.”

Zuko smiled.

“Thanks, Uncle.”

Iroh put down his teacup before leaning forward to hug his nephew. “I’m always here for you whenever you need me,” he said. “Just remember that.”

Zuko nodded against his uncle’s shoulder.

“I will.”

This time, there was no voice in his head contradicting Iroh’s statement.

* * *

Katara checked outside the palace entrance one more time. She had never gotten the sleep she knew she desperately needed, and now, the sun was starting to rise.

 _Just one more time_ , she thought. _If he’s not there, you can go back inside._

She walked slowly, mentally preparing herself for the disappointment that was sure to come. The palace tiles were cold under her feet, but she didn’t register her lack of shoes.

Pushing open the palace doors, she looked out and saw nothing. Emptiness. Just as she had the last six times. Sadness flooded in her chest, and she felt her shoulders lower limply.

Just before she turned around, she caught a glimpse of something flying in the sky.

She stepped forward, squinting her sapphire eyes as she peered out into the horizon. The figure was so small from far away, but it must’ve been huge up close.

Suddenly, it registered.

_Appa._

She’d been so caught up in trying to find Zuko that she didn’t realize the flying bison was gone. _Why would he have gone…_

_Zuko._

Katara ran out further. Darting faster and faster away from the palace. Towards the silhouette of the sky bison coming down to land.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw Appa land. As Zuko slid off Appa. She bolted over to him and couldn’t resist the urge to smack his arm. _Hard._

“How dare you leave without telling anyone?” she cried. “Do you know how scared I was for you? You could’ve gotten lost, or hurt, or killed, and I never would’ve known! And after the time on the roof, I—”

Katara broke down. Fat tears fell from her eyes, crashing down her cheeks. Heavy sobs made her chest ache. Her lungs burned.

Zuko scooped her up in his arms. She immediately sunk into him—into his natural warmth and his smell of campfires and plain _Zuko_.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Katara cried harder. She pressed her face against his tunic, soaking it in saltwater.

“I’m so, so sorry, Katara,” he said. He held her close to him. “I wanted to come back before the sun rose, before everyone woke up. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“You-you should’ve left a note or something,” Katara sobbed, looking up to meet his golden gaze. “I’ve been up all night worrying about you.”

There was a look on his face that she couldn’t detect. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I-I didn’t think you cared.”

Her eyes grew wide, tears spilling down harder. “How could you say that? I love you, Zuko! Why would you think I didn’t?”

His eyes widened.

Katara’s jaw dropped.

_Oh no._

* * *

The world seemed to pass by in slow motion around them.

Time seemed to stop.

All Zuko could hear was his heart pounding and Katara’s words. _I love you, Zuko. Why would you think I didn’t?_

_She loves me._

_She loves me._

She was staring at him, her big, beautiful, sapphire eyes wide in shock.

“Zuko…I…”

He couldn’t breathe.

“I…I didn’t mean that. I-I mean, yeah, I did mean it, but I—”

Zuko grabbed her hands in his, holding them gently in his own. Her hands were cold against his. He hoped he could warm them up.

Katara was always so firm and confident in herself, and her words came across the same way. Hearing her stumble through her sentences—mixtures of apologies and excuses—made Zuko relax a little bit. _I’m glad I’m not the only one._

“Katara, it’s okay,” he said. “Because I love you too.”

The words felt weird against his tongue. He’d never said he’d loved anyone before. Even back when he was with Mai, they never told each other that they loved them. For Zuko, it was simply because he didn’t love her back. He suspected Mai was the same way. Their relationship was dangerous, toxic for both of them.

But with Katara it was different. They brought out the best in each other, complemented each other nicely. They worked well together and were equals.

Saying “I love you” felt strange, but pleasant.

He hoped he could say it more in the future.

Katara’s eyes widened, her face in a state of shock. They stared at each other for several seconds, letting the words sink in.

“Are…are you just saying that?”

 _Agni, she sounds like me_.

“No, I really do,” Zuko admitted. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I, uh, wasn’t exactly sure if you’d see me the same way.” His cheeks flushed all the way up to his ears. Katara smiled, and Zuko wondered if it was from seeing him turn red.

“I was the same way,” Katara said, breathing a sigh of relief. She dropped Zuko’s hands and walked forward to hug him instead.

It was warm and comforting. Zuko sighed against her hair, the smell of coconuts and hibiscus flowers engulfing him. He wished he could stay like this forever.

“Did you really not get to sleep?” Zuko asked, pulling away from Katara. He immediately missed her embrace. Katara shook her head. “Okay, come on. Let’s go to my room.”

“Don’t you have to start your meditation before the meeting?” she asked. “I don’t want you to neglect your duties because of me.”

Iroh’s words came to mind, and Zuko smiled.

“It’s okay, I can take a break every once in a while.”

He held her hand as he led her back into the palace to his bedroom. He stripped himself of his tunic, and Katara pulled off the coat she had over her nightgown. The two laid together in Zuko’s bed, a mess of tangled limbs, as they cuddled.

“I promise that I didn’t mean to scare you,” Zuko whispered. He kissed her forehead, just like he’d always wanted to.

“Where did you go?” Katara asked.

“I needed to see Uncle. I, uh…I wasn’t in a good place last night.”

Katara’s eyebrows lowered in sadness, and she reached up to stroke his hair. “You could’ve come to me, you know.”

Zuko shrugged. “I didn’t want to dump my problems on you.”

“Zuko, you’re not. Don’t ever think that. I want you to tell me when you have these thoughts.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m still…I don’t know…not used to it, I guess.”

Katara leaned up to kiss his nose. Zuko felt his face warm up, blushing madly.

“I know. But I’m proud of you for talking to Iroh. Just…leave a note or something next time.”

He smiled softly. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the Zutara begins! Plus, Iroh's playing therapist, and Zuko's getting the help he needs! We love development in this household.
> 
> I got really excited, and so this chapter's a little longer than it usually is. I hope you enjoy it all the same!


	11. Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko takes Iroh's advice and takes a break from his duties.

Four of the council members—four of the people that remained loyal to Zuko instead of Ozai—sat at the long table, awaiting the Fire Lord’s presence. They still had fifteen minutes until the meeting began, but timeliness was a skill that all the council members knew to practice.

As they talked amongst themselves, the door opened. The four of them immediately stood to bow, but they were surprised to find it wasn’t the Fire Lord.

It was a servant, Eiko.

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Eiko said, bowing to the other men, “but I received a message from Fire Lord Zuko.”

The oldest council member, Renshu, nodded respectfully. “Go on.”

“Fire Lord Zuko has decided to postpone the meeting until later this afternoon,” Eiko said. “He sends his deepest regrets.”

“He has never rescheduled before,” Minsheng noted. “Is everything going well with our Fire Lord?”

“He appeared to be in good health,” Eiko said.

“Then, why must he postpone the meeting?” Xiang asked.

“I did not question his wishes.”

Renshu nodded. “Thank you for alerting us.” Eiko bowed and disappeared through the door again.

“I wonder what happened,” Tengfei said as the four men stood up to leave. “Hopefully, everything is alright with our Fire Lord.”

* * *

Zuko didn’t remember a time that everything was not just alright—but instead, absolutely perfect.

It was such a foreign feeling. But if he had to put a name to it, this was it.

He was laying on his back, and Katara’s head was on his bare chest. Her arms were around him, one of her hands pressed flat against the scar directly under his heart. Her chocolate brown, wavy hair tickled his neck, but he was in too much ecstasy to care.

She was still asleep, but Zuko didn’t mind. He always woke up earlier than she did anyway. Plus, he was having a hard time sleeping when the sun was awake anyway.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her skin was warm against his lips.

She looked so beautiful when she was asleep. She looked so peaceful, like the weight of the world wasn’t sitting on her shoulders.

He kissed her forehead again. He couldn’t stop kissing her. Now that he could, he wanted to do it forever.

He wondered what it was like to kiss her lips. They always looked so full and inviting. He wondered what they felt like against his. The thought made him blush from his cheeks all the way up to his ears.

Katara squirmed slightly, and Zuko held her closer. He never wanted to let go of their embrace. Everything was just so perfect.

Her eyelashes fluttered open, and she gazed up at him sleepily. “Good morning,” she said softly, her voice thick with sleep.

“Morning? It’s almost noon,” Zuko said. He kissed her forehead, and Katara smiled. Agni, he couldn’t get enough of her.

“Can we just stay here a little longer?” she asked. She nuzzled her face closer into his chest, and Zuko felt his heart beat faster.

“I’m more than happy to stay here all day,” he admitted. “Although I’m not sure the others would exactly like that.”

“That’s fair. Just for a little while longer then.”

“That can be arranged.”

He held her tighter, and she gently traced his torso with her fingertips.

This was so perfect. He wanted to spend all of his mornings—every morning for the rest of his life—like this. With her.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair.

He felt her smile against his chest. “I love you too.”

* * *

Now that the Gaang didn’t have to spend their mornings training, doing chores, or scavenging for food, they didn’t quite know what to do with themselves. After a few minutes of senseless arguing, they found themselves wasting time by goofing off.

They were kids. It didn’t matter that they were now political leaders that stood at the center of the nations’ views. It didn’t change the fact that they were young, dumb, and immature. They wanted to have fun, and the experience was stolen from them.

But now, they were taking it back.

“Watch this!” Aang yelled. He grabbed a biscuit from the bowl in the center of the table. He shaped his hands and bent the air around it. The biscuit spun in the air like a top before Aang launched it up towards the ceiling. Instead, it flung straight towards the chandelier. It hit the center crystal and shattered it into thick, heavy shards. They rained down on the table.

“Way to go, Twinkle Toes.” Toph picked a piece with ragged edges out of her rice. “You can defeat the Fire Lord _and_ a perfectly good light fixture.”

“It was an accident!” Aang said. He used his airbending to brush all the shards up into a pile in the center of the table for easy cleaning. “I didn’t mean to hit it!”

“Meh,” Sokka said with a shrug, “it was gaudy anyway.”

“Is everyone okay?” a servant asked, rushing into the room. “I heard a crash!”

He looked straight at the center of the table, straight at the broken chandelier and the shards of crystal. At the biscuit plopped over on its side and at Aang’s guilty face. He sighed loudly.

“I’ll send a maid over,” he said. He bowed before leaving the room, shaking his head to himself as he left.

“You’re lucky you’re the Avatar,” Suki said. “He would’ve chewed you out if you were any other kid.”

“I still feel bad,” Aang said. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I shouldn’t get any special privileges because I’m the Avatar.”

“Yeah, you should!” Sokka said. “I say savor it!” He stabbed a piece of his sesame and ginger salmon (he still hadn’t mastered chopsticks yet) with one of the thin, wooden rods. He inspected it for shards of the broken chandelier before popping it into his mouth.

“I’m with Snoozles,” Toph said. “Take advantage of the things life throws at you.”

“That’d be good advice under any other circumstance,” Aang said.

“It’s good advice regardless. And I don’t give advice regularly, so take it while you can.”

“Where’s Katara?” Aang changed the subject. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

“Zuko’s gone too,” Sokka said.

“I know he had a meeting this morning,” Suki said, “but I don’t know about Katara. Toph?”

“She’s sleeping in,” she answered. “After waking us up all night, looks like she finally got to rest.”

“Oh yeah,” Sokka said through a mouthful of salmon. “What was that about?”

“Beats me,” Toph said. “I could hear her pacing throughout the whole palace.” She was glad to be the only one at the table who could pick up on lying. She knew exactly why Katara had been running around all night, and she knew that Zuko wasn’t currently in a meeting like Suki said. However, she also knew it wasn’t her place to tell everyone the two were sleeping together in Zuko’s room, so she kept her mouth shut.

“I hope she’s okay,” Aang said.

“Don’t worry about her,” Sokka said. “She’ll probably be fine after some sleep. And what’s she doing now? Sleeping. She’ll be good.”

“I hope so.”

“Hey, Twinkle Toes, wanna go shoot targets outside?” She stood up and pushed the chair back with her legs.

Aang’s face immediately brightened, and he sprung up off the chair, hopping on an air scooter. “I’ll race you there!”

“Hey, not fair! You got a head start!”

* * *

Katara loved her friends. Really, she did. Her found family, her team of ragtag fighters, brought her so much joy every day. She loved fighting alongside them and hanging out together every night. She loved their beach day at Ember Island and their spooky stories the night before they met Hama.

She wouldn’t give them up for the world.

But right now, she wished they were gone. Out adventuring the city or flying around on Appa. Anywhere but the palace, where she knew they could walk in any second to see her cuddling with Zuko.

Her attention turned back to the firebender beside her. They had both flipped on their sides, with Zuko’s back pressed against her chest. She never would’ve imagined that Zuko liked being the little spoon, but somehow it fit.

She pressed kisses all over his shoulders. She wrapped her arms around him and dragged him closer to her body. She smiled as he shuddered when she kissed the back of his neck, right at the tip of his spine. _Tui and La, he’s gorgeous_.

However, as much as she loved running her fingers and lips over his shoulders and upper back, it was hard to ignore the little scars that littered his pale skin. They were hardly noticeable from far away, but up close, they were so clear.

Her heart dipped when she realized they were burn scars. They didn’t look like an accident. 

_Did Azula do that to him?_

Her eyelids drooped with sadness, but she simply pressed more kisses to them. It made her feel a little better.

“Zuko?”

“Hmm?”

“As much as I love this, don’t you need to get ready for your meeting soon?” Katara nuzzled his back with her nose, but she kept talking. “You pushed it to two, and it’s already past one-thirty now.”

Zuko groaned, and Katara felt the mattress shift as he flipped over. He kissed her forehead, and she smiled. _I love him_.

“Do I have to?” he whined. He put his face into the crook of her neck, and she cuddled him closer.

“If you want to be a good leader—and I know you do—then yes, you do.”

He sat up grumpily. “Fine, if you insist,” he said.

She watched as he slid off the bed and put on a tunic. He tied the sash before putting on his Fire Lord attire—the cloak, collar, and shoulder pieces. She watched each of his muscles move, and she adored the way he tensed as he stretched his arms. He tied his hair up and slid the golden hairpiece on, and Katara immediately missed seeing the fluffy, loose locks.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Katara nodded and smiled. “Okay,” she said. _Maybe I’ll stay here a little longer though_.

Zuko leaned in to press a soft, gentle kiss to her left cheek. Katara felt herself blush.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

He smiled at her before disappearing out of the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last several chapters have been pretty depressing, so enjoy some cute Zutara fluff! 
> 
> I hope to make the next chapter a little bit longer to make up for the slower update. I'm home from college now, so I'm hoping I'll be able to pump that one out soon.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)


	12. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After one of Zuko's meetings, Katara learns about one of his triggers.

Zuko hummed quietly to himself as he flipped through the documents that were piled up on his desk. He had them separated by level of urgency. Some were letters from advisors and ambassadors from neighboring nations, while others were possible bills to be passed as laws.

He knew that there was a lot of paperwork that came with being Fire Lord. After all, he saw his grandfather and his father waste away in their offices for hours at a time. It always felt like if Azulon wasn’t sitting on the throne, he was in the office, signing and reading through document after document.

Although he expected a lot, he hadn’t expected this much. Honestly, it was overwhelming, but he knew if he didn’t finish now, he wouldn’t finish at all.

He only had one more stack to go through before his meeting with one of the advisors responsible for trade. He needed to be done by the end of the hour. It was manageable. He could do it.

He heard a loud bang come from outside, immediately followed by the Gaang’s obnoxious laughter.

_Well, I could do it if they weren’t so loud._

* * *

“That’s it? Oh please! I could hit that with my eyes closed,” Sokka said.

“Awww, really? That’s cute, Snoozles,” Toph said. “Real cute.”

Sokka gave her a look of confusion. Suddenly, his face dropped. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”

He grabbed a lychee off the tree and tossed it into the air. Swinging his boomerang, he whacked the fruit, sending it spiraling into the makeshift target Toph had set up. It smashed into several wet pieces.

“Not bad, Sokka!” Aang said.

“You think that was good? Watch this!” Toph stomped on the ground and sent a large stone flying towards the lychee. It wrapped around the fruit, seeming to swallow it up. Toph moved her wrist sharply and flung the rock-covered fruit through the target, breaking it immediately. “Ha! Beat that!”

“I will!” Sokka said. He whipped his new sword out of its sheath dramatically. He pulled a lychee off the tree and launched it up in the air again.

“Sokka, you’re going to cut through the fruit,” Aang said. “The sword is too sharp.”

“That’s part of the trick,” Sokka said. The lychee fell to his feet, and he leaned down to pick it up. “I need to hit it hard enough that I hit the target, but I need to be gentle enough that I don’t slice through it. I need just the right angle.”

Toph cackled. “Good luck with that, Snoozles.”

Sokka gave her a look. “I can do it! Just watch me!”

“I’ll try,” Toph said, waving a hand in front of her motionless, blind eyes. It only made Sokka pout harder.

“Okay, fine. Then, sense it _._ ” He tossed the fruit up in the air and whacked his sword into it like a baseball bat.

At that very moment, Katara stepped out of the palace. She was rubbing her bleary, blue eyes and didn’t register the fruit flying towards her.

“Katara! Watch—”

“Huh?”

_Splat._

“…Out.”

“Ew, gross!” She balanced her weight on her right leg as she leaned towards the fountain. She bent some of the water out and wrapped it around her hair, rinsing out the chunks of fruit. “What is that?”

“Just lychee,” Aang said. He was smiling at her, as if she held the world in her eyes despite being covered in fruit.

Guilt lined the outskirts of Katara’s mind, and she forced herself to look away.

“What happened last night?” Sokka asked.

“Yeah, you were running around the house like crazy.” Aang reached out to stroke Appa’s head. “Even Appa was tired.” The sky bison let out a loud groan.

“I’m sorry,” Katara said. She squeezed the excess water from her hair. She ignored the urge to tell the others that Zuko’s midnight flight was the reason Appa was tired—not her footsteps. _My feet aren’t that loud_. “I just panicked, I guess.”

“About what?” Aang’s gray eyes were wide and childlike.

_It’s better to be honest._

“Um, Zuko was gone late last night,” she answered. She ran her fingers nervously through her chocolate locks. “I got nervous because…I mean, how many assassination attempts have happened in the past few months? A lot.”

_Well, mostly honest, anyway._

“I didn’t want him to be kidnapped or killed or worse.”

Suki nodded. “We’re all on high alert recently,” she said. “The Kyoshi warriors and the guards do a lot, but I still understand the nerves.”

“We’re a family,” Aang said. “We don’t want anything to happen to him either.”

“I know,” Katara said. “I’m just protective, I guess.”

Sokka laughed. “We know. Remember that baby seal-fox you found when you were six?”

“He was wounded! I wasn’t going to let you hurt him more.”

“Whatever you say, Katara. Whatever you say.”

* * *

“Fire Lord Zuko, it is an honor to be in your presence.” The merchant bowed, his forehead touching the ground. It made Zuko feel awkward; he didn’t really know how to react.

“The honor is mine,” he responded. He felt so stuffy and stiff during meetings. “What exports did we have listed for the quarter?”

“Our main exports were the usual,” the man—Hinote—said. “Ginger, sesame, almonds, and red chili peppers. We also had traded more oils than usual, including cedarwood and sandalwood oils, as well as jasmine and hibiscus.”

Zuko nodded. “How many oils did we sell?”

Hinote smiled. “Much more than the quota! We sold twenty-three percent more than last year.”

“That is good to hear. What about precious metals and stones?”

“Gold is still a popular favorite, especially for the Earth Kingdom. However, after seeing Lady Katara’s necklace, many women around the world have leaned more towards blue stones. Our exports of garnets and rubies have dropped slightly, by two-point-six percent.”

“How have the imports been?” Zuko asked.

“After the peace treaty with the Southern Water Tribe, we’ve discovered that they are good trading partners. Their seal oil has sold well in the Fire Nation, and in exchange, they have bought a large portion of our steel.”

“And the Earth Kingdom?”

“Our trading with them has increased sixteen percent since last year, but their imports remain the same.”

Zuko nodded. “They’ve always been consistent.”

“Indeed,” Hinote agreed.

“What else do you have?”

Hinote opened a case he brought with him, and he presented it to the Fire Lord. “Some of our agricultural products have increased in popularity, especially in Ba Sing Se and Omashu after the recent peace treaties. With new farming methods from the rural areas in the Earth Kingdom colonies, our tea leaves, soybean oil, citrus fruits and extracts, and black pepper have increased in quality and quantity. The Earth Kingdom cities have been exporting them from us in large amounts.”

However, Zuko wasn’t paying attention anymore.

_Citrus and black pepper._

His chest felt tighten, and his eyes seemed to glaze over the wooden trunk that Hinote brought with him. The items inside didn’t register, and neither did the pride on the head merchant’s face.

As the man spoke passionately about the exports, Zuko raised a hand to stop him. “I’m sorry, but we need to continue this discussion later.” His head pounded, and he resisted the urge to run off right then and there.

“But-but sir?” Hinote gave him a look of confusion. “We still have a lot to discuss.”

“I said we will continue this discussion later,” Zuko growled. Hinote cowered slightly, and Zuko cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, there’s something important I need to take care of.”

The man bowed. “I understand, Fire Lord Zuko. Thank you for your time.” He closed and locked up his trunk before quickly disappearing.

But the smell of citrus and black pepper was still strong. It was still in the air.

 _Agni._

He pushed the throne room door open and ignored the guards on either side as he hurried to his room.

Everything was overwhelming.

He couldn’t breathe.

He could smell nothing but citrus and black pepper.

His lungs ached.

 _That’s Father’s scent._

He needed to get out of there.

_He’s coming after you._

He tried to walk to his room. But he could only stumble.

Hands on the walls.

For support.

 _Don’t let yourself fall. If you fall, he’ll get you._

_You just need to make it to your room._

He pushed the door open.

Slammed it behind him.

_Come on, Zuko._

His breathing was heavy.

_No. I don’t want this._

Squeezed his eyes shut.

 _You don’t have a say._

Fingers yanked at his hair.

_Get on your knees._

He hit the ground.

Cradling his knees.

_He could see his belt coming off._

_Metal hitting his shoulder blades._

He heard crying.

_Is that mine?_

_Stop it, please, stop it._

_You’re weak._

_A prince should beg to no one._

_I know._

_Pain._

_Burning skin._

_Stronger than the smell of citrus._

_And black pepper._

_I’m sorry._

_Hands on his throat._

_Squeezing._

_He couldn’t breathe._

_Don’t tell anyone._

_Trying to suppress his screams._

_I won’t._

* * *

Katara knew something was wrong the second she heard the scream.

She immediately bolted inside the castle. She heard the heavy footsteps of the Gaang behind her, but she couldn’t think about anything other than Zuko.

_Tui and La, protect him. Please, spirits, keep him safe._

She dashed to the bedroom that she had become so acquainted with these past few weeks and immediately turned to the others. Her heart pounded wildly inside her chest, but she needed to focus.

“Wait here,” she said. “If it’s a panic attack, I don’t need you making things worse.”

“Why are you the only one that can help him?” Toph yelled. “We care about him too!”

“Because need I remind you that the last time he had a panic attack, you crowded him and made him hyperventilate more,” Katara snapped. _I don’t have time for this. I need to help him._

Suki put her hand on Toph’s shoulder, holding her back. “It’s okay, Katara,” she said. “You take care of him. We’ll be out here. Just…shout whenever he’s ready.”

Katara nodded and pushed through the door, closing it behind her a second later. Her heart sank immediately at the sight.

Zuko was curled up in the corner. His knees were pulled up to his face, his arms wrapped around his legs. He was hyperventilating.

“Oh, no, no, no…” Katara knelt down beside him and placed her hand on his back. She rubbed soothing circles into his spine. He immediately shied away from her touch. “It’s okay, Zuko. It’s me. It’s just Katara. I’m here.” She drew little shapes into his back with her fingertips, making little hearts and smiley faces and ocean waves.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I’m sorry. I did-didn’t mean…I-I didn’t…”

“Shhh,” she soothed. “It’s going to be okay, Zuko.”

“Father, I…I didn’t…”

Her stomach dipped. _Oh, Tui and La, tell me I’m dreaming._

“It’s okay.” She ignored her fears and scooted closer to him before bringing the hand on his back up towards his neck. She traced her finger from his spine to his shoulder blade. Up to his shoulders and back down to his arms. She went slowly, making sure he could feel her touch. Making sure he would know it was her.

When she reached his wrist, she tugged on it gently, pulling his hand away from his legs. The fabric of his pants was bunched up in his tightly-closed fists, so it took a bit of maneuvering from Katara’s end.

Pressing his fingers down so that his hand was flat, Katara began running a single fingertip along Zuko’s palm. She traced each of the lines before making her own patterns. When she heard his breathing start to slow, she moved up to his fingers.

“It’s alright, Zuko,” she said. “I’m here with you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” She leaned over to kiss his hair. “It’s going to be okay.”

He nodded shakily, and Katara felt a wave of relief. _He’s coming back._

“Can you look at me?” she whispered into his ear. “I want to see those pretty eyes of yours.”

Hesitantly, he moved his head up to look at her. His golden eyes were red-rimmed and unfocused, but he was coming back, and that was what mattered.

Katara smiled. “Good, you’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you.”

She inhaled deeply before holding it and exhaling. She set a tempo for both of them, and after a few minutes, Zuko managed to match his breathing to hers.

“How are you feeling?” Katara whispered. Her fingers were still playing with his hand, tracing patterns into the skin. She didn’t want to stop.

Zuko nodded slowly.

“Can you try to speak?” she asked. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

He nodded again. “I…I’m okay.” His voice was raw, and it made Katara’s heart ache. “I’m tired.”

She stopped tracing his hand to hold it instead. Squeezing it gently, she gave him a soft smile.

“Let’s get you in bed. Can you stand up?”

Katara stood up and offered him a hand, which he gratefully accepted. He was wobbly on his feet, but with her help, he managed to sit on the bed.

“Do you know what caused it?” Katara asked gently. She took a seat beside Zuko, feeling the mattress dip underneath her.

Zuko shook his head, looking down at his lap. “It’s going to sound stupid.”

“I promise it won’t.” Katara’s eyes were wide, unwavering. “Please, tell me.”

He was silent for several seconds, and she thought he wouldn’t tell her. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she heard a small whisper.

“The smell.”

Katara closed her mouth, watching Zuko for more description. He picked up his head to look at her. His eyes were full of unbridled emotions. He looked so done—not with her, but with life.

“It smelled like my father.”

Katara leaned in and wrapped her arms around Zuko tightly, letting him bury his face into the crook between her neck and collarbone. “I’m sorry, Zuko.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault.”

“I know. I just want you to feel better.”

The two sat in silence, with Katara holding Zuko closely and Zuko burying his face into her neck.

“If it makes you feel better,” Katara whispered, “I understand that feeling too.”

“Wait, what?” Zuko looked up at her in confusion. “You do?”

She nodded. “Yeah. When my mother died, the man smelled like copper and coal. Whenever I smelled that combination, it would give me flashbacks and send me into a panic attack.” She smiled softly. “Luckily, Yon Rha didn’t smell the same when we saw him last time.”

She grabbed his hands gently and squeezed them. “I promise, it doesn’t sound stupid that you went through that. Not at all. I used to go through the same thing.”

“You did?” Zuko asked. “How…how did you cope?”

“I had a good support group. Gran Gran would always listen whenever I needed to talk, and Dad would too before he left. After he and the other men disappeared, I really dipped.” Her eyes met Zuko’s golden ones. They looked so beautiful, and she wished she could stare into them forever. “That’s why it hurt so much when I realized why you were struggling. Because we left. Because I hurt you the same way my dad hurt me, and I never wanted anyone to go through the same pain I felt.”

She leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m so sorry, Zuko. I understand, I do. And although I still have the flashbacks sometimes, it does get better.”

He nodded against her. “Thank you.”

She smiled and kissed his temple. His scar felt strange under her lips. Strange and warm, but nice.

“It’s going to be okay,” she said. “I’m not leaving you again.”

He nodded again.

A sudden knock at the door pulled them out of their embrace. “Hey, Katara?”

“Is that Sokka?” Zuko whispered. Katara nodded.

“Katara, are we good to come in now?”

She gave him a questioning look, and he nodded.

“Yeah, you’re good,” she shouted.

Sokka opened the door, and behind him, Toph, Aang, and Suki pushed their way through.

“Hey, Sparky,” Toph said, uncharacteristically gentle. She took a seat on Zuko’s other side. “How’s everything going?”

“I feel like shit.”

“Zuko, not in front of the kids,” Katara chastised. She gave him a sharp look, but he ignored it.

“Oh, please, Sugar Queen. I’ve heard worse at the Earth Rumbles.”

“Well, we don’t need to make it worse for you.”

“She’s repeated worse,” Zuko said. “She can handle it.”

Katara groaned and pouted.

“Do you want to talk about it, buddy?” Sokka asked. He knelt down on the floor beside Zuko’s bed, right in front of his feet.

“I don’t know. Not yet.”

“We can wait.” Aang gave him a large, infectious smile, but Zuko didn’t return it.

“How many panic attacks have you had recently?” Suki asked. He simply shrugged. “Zuko, you know that’s not healthy.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Toph snapped. “We don’t like watching this happen or hearing you hurt like this. You need to get better.”

Zuko nodded. “I know,” he murmured.

“Good. Then, you can start by telling us what happened.”

“There, uh, there was an…an incident in the throne room.”

Toph immediately stood up off the bed. “Oh, hell no.”

“Toph, sit down.” Katara pushed the girl down by her shoulders, sitting her back down on the mattress. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Then, what happened?” Aang asked.

Katara grimaced. She could tell by the distant look in Zuko’s eyes that he didn’t know what to say. She put her hand on his back and rubbed his spine comfortingly. There were unspoken words in each of her touches.

 _You don’t have to tell them right now if you don’t want to._

_It’s okay, Zuko. They’ll understand if you need some time._

_You tell them whenever you’re ready._

Instead, Zuko surprised her.

“I need to tell you something,” he said. His voice was breathless, shaky. “And you have to promise not to look at me any differently.”

Katara’s eyes widened. She forgot about her hand on Zuko’s back. She could do nothing but watch as everyone nodded around her. As Zuko choked in a deep breath and closed his eyes to brace himself.

“I tried to kill myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer to make up for the slower update. I'm going to find a routine soon and a specific time to write, but for now, the chapters will probably come at random increments throughout the day. 
> 
> I wanted to thank you again for the kudos and comments! I always look forward to reading what everyone has to say! :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy the newest chapter, and I'm sorry for the cliffhanger!


	13. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang learns about Zuko's suicide attempt.

The silence was deafening. They all stared at Zuko in shock. Their eyes were wide, each painted with varying states of horror.

It only took a moment for the silence to break.

“What?! Why?!”

“Zuko, what were you thinking?”

“Yeah, Sparky, when did this happen?”

“You’re lying. Please, spirits, tell me you’re lying.”

“How? How were you even going to do it?”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“Were the assassination attempts not enough?! You had to go and do it yourself?!”

“Zuko, answer me!”

“Leave him alone!” Katara shouted. Her scream was louder than the others’, and the four immediately fell silent. “In order to listen to him, you actually need to let him speak!”

The Gaang stood silently as they all stared at the firebender in front of them. His hands were tucked between his legs to hide their violent shaking. His head was dipped down so that he didn’t have to meet their stares. He didn’t know what was worse: their screams or their silence.

“It…it, uh, it was a few weeks ago,” he whispered. He didn’t think he could speak any louder than that. His voice felt so raw.

He wanted to bury himself in his covers. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He didn’t want to meet their eyes. He couldn’t.

_You’re weak, Prince Zuko._

_You’re a coward._

_You can’t even stand up for yourself._

_I’m sorry, Father. I’m sorry._

_Don’t beg. It only makes you look weaker._

He felt a hand grab his gently. He looked down to see soft, dark skin holding his and squeezing it gently. _Katara._

He took a deep breath before continuing. “It happened a while ago, but…but, uh, the…the thoughts…they’re still there.”

He heard a small sigh and felt Toph’s little arms wrap around his much bigger one. “Sparky…you could’ve told us, you know.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he whispered. “And…and I-I couldn’t burden you with my problems.”

Suki scoffed. “Zuko, don’t ever think that. That’s a lie that your lousy sister planted into your head. No one believes that.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Totally.”

“She’s right, Sparky.”

Zuko breathed a sigh of relief.

_They’re lying_ , a little voice in his head said _._

_No._

_They’re not._

_They’re my friends._

_Friends don’t lie._

“So what happened, Sparky?” Toph laid her head on Zuko’s shoulder. “What made you…you know…actually go for it?”

He heard a small smack and winced at the sound.

“What?” Toph asked.

“You could be a little…gentler, don’t you think?” Katara said.

“It’s okay,” Zuko said. “And I don’t know. It was just…everything, I guess.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Suki nod in understanding. “And that night, it just got so bad that it felt like I didn’t really have any other choice.”

Toph squeezed his left arm a little tighter. He brought his other arm up to lay his right hand on her head. _It’s nice to have a little sister that isn’t trying to kill you._

“How?” Toph asked. “Is that wrong to ask?”

Zuko shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I was, uh, planning on…planning on jumping off the roof.”

He heard Sokka’s breath catch in his throat. He looked up to see him staring at him with pain and shock on his face.

“Why?” Aang asked. Zuko looked over at the boy. “Why would you do that?”

“Aang…” Sokka started. He put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Why would you kill yourself? Huh? Did you want us to find you like that?”

“Aang,” Katara hissed through gritted teeth.

“Is that what you wanted? For us to see your body lying on the concrete all mangled and all your limbs broken?”

“Aang, stop.” Katara’s voice cut through the air like a knife. The tension was so thick, but her tone was sharp enough to puncture him regardless. “You’re making this worse.”

“Oh, but he can make our lives worse by killing himself?”

“This isn’t about you, Aang!” Toph shouted. The room got quiet. Toph _never_ used anyone’s real name. “This is about Zuko. No one _wants_ to kill themselves.”

“What he was doing was selfish!”

“No. What _you’re_ doing is selfish.”

“The monks always said that we were supposed to distance ourselves from worldly things. Maybe if you had just done that, then he wouldn’t have—”

“Last time I checked, Zuko wasn’t a monk!” Katara yelled. “He doesn’t need to follow your way of living. Just because it works for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for everyone.”

_What he was doing was selfish._

_Selfish._

_You’re so selfish. Even your friends think so._

_Well, I guess they’re not your friends anymore._

_What he was doing was selfish._

_“Don’t act surprised. I always knew you were selfish, Prince Zuko.”_

_Ozai walked over to him. He circled around him like a predator sizing up his prey._

_“You’re a selfish, spineless, senseless coward. You don’t deserve to ever be on the throne. Agni made a mistake by making you a part of our bloodline.”_

_Zuko bowed, pressing his forehead to the obsidian floor. “I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t mean to dishonor you.”_

_Ozai scoffed. “It’s not just me you’re dishonoring. It’s all of your ancestors. Your nation. You don’t expect a single, measly apology to make up for that, do you?”_

_Zuko felt sick to his stomach. Tears fell down his cheeks. He dipped his head lower to hide them._

_He shrieked. His scalp burned as Ozai yanked him up by his ponytail. His father pulled his head back to stare into his eyes. Zuko wanted to run away, but he couldn’t. Ozai’s painful grip on his hair was too strong._

_“Do you know why I never hit Azula?” he asked. “Do you know why I’ve never had to lay a finger on her?”_

_Zuko knew why. He knew full and well that his sister was perfect. She was everything Father ever wanted. She was smart and skilled. She spoke with confidence and moved with grace. Cunning and intentional, every move she made was calculated._

_But he couldn’t say it._

_His mouth felt heavy. His throat was dry. He couldn’t speak._

_“Because—unlike you—Azula is not a failure.”_

_Ozai flung the boy across the room. Zuko hit the obsidian floor and bounced slightly. Everything ached. His cheek burned from where he landed on it, and something in his arm burned like the most scalding of Agni’s flames._

_I can’t move it, he thought, panicking. I can’t move my arm! How am I supposed to practice my firebending forms? Father will be furious._

_He felt himself hyperventilating in fear, but Ozai simply walked over and slammed his foot into his son’s stomach._

_Zuko couldn’t resist the urge to double over. He lost the contents of his stomach and threw up all over the floor._

_“You’re disgusting,” Ozai sneered. He watched his son disdainfully, glaring as the boy tried to pick himself up off the floor._

_“I-I’m sorry, Fa—”_

_A clenched fist rammed into his nose._

_Zuko heard the noise. He felt the blood drip down his face. Coating his lips and chin. He wanted to throw up again._

_“What did I say about begging?!”_

_“I’m sor—”_

_Crunch._

_Again._

_Again._

_Again._

_Relentless._

_I’m sorry, Zuko thought to himself. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

* * *

“Aang, what did you do!” Katara screamed. She bolted over to Zuko, cradling him in her arms. She could feel him shaking violently underneath her touch. He was hyperventilating, and tears streamed down his face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Zuko. I’m here,” Katara said in his right ear. “It’s Katara. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.”

“I think you need to go,” Sokka said, looking at Aang with an unreadable expression.

“How is this my fault? He’s the one freaking out over nothing. He heard the truth and—”

“Aang,” Suki yelled. Her no-nonsense voice sent shivers down everyone’s spines. “Go.” Aang scoffed and left the room without looking back.

“It’s alright, Zuko,” Katara soothed. “I’ve got you. He can’t get you.”

“Yeah, Sparky.” Toph grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “You’ve got this!”

“C’mon, buddy,” Sokka said. He stayed at a safe distance this time, not wanting to crowd Zuko like last time. He didn’t want to give Katara any reason to keep him away. “You can fight this.”

Zuko whined, a noise of sheer agony springing from his throat. His eyes were squeezed shut tightly, and the skin of the scar on his left eye was tight under the strain.

“I’m sorry, Father,” he cried. “I don’t—I-I don’t…”

“Shhh, it’s alright,” Katara said. She held him tighter and began to rock him back in forth in her arms. “It’s okay.”

“They’re not usually this bad, are they?” Toph whispered to Katara. “I’ve seen them through the walls, but they don’t look like this.”

“This one’s worse,” Katara whispered back. “Much worse. I just hope he comes out soon.”

Zuko reached up to touch his face. He began pawing at it, trying to wipe something off the bottom half of his face. He pushed his fingers in harder and harder, clawing at it.

“Hey, buddy, you can’t do that.” Sokka leaned over and grabbed his arm to keep him from hurting himself. The skin under his nose and on his chin was already pink from the friction. Zuko cried harder and tried to tear his hand away from Sokka, but he only held tighter. “I can’t let you hurt yourself, buddy.”

Zuko sobbed louder, yanking his hand away harder and harder. Sokka squeezed his hand tighter. He looked towards Katara with pleading eyes. _What do I do?_

Katara watched as Zuko became more and more panicked. She felt his heart rate increase with each second. “Let go,” she said.

Sokka nodded and let go of Zuko’s hand. The firebender immediately snatched it away, holding it close to him and crying harder.

“It’s alright, Zuko.” Katara rubbed his back and rocked him further. “We’re not going to hurt you. That was just Sokka, and he wanted to keep you safe.”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Sokka repeated. “Heck, even when I used to try, I still couldn’t hurt you. Remember when you would chase us around the world? I could never get you even then. You’re too strong.”

“Hear that, Sparky?” Toph squeezed his other hand gently, the left one that she was still loosely holding on to. “You’re too strong for the legendary Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe—the guy who took out several Fire Nation airship fleets. If you can do that, you can definitely fight this.”

Zuko inhaled shakily and buried his face into Katara’s neck. She held him tighter and pressed her lips to his hair.

Suddenly, the realization of what she’d done hit her.

_Oh, no. They probably know. They probably know there’s something going on between us._

She felt her cheeks warm up, surely turning red. However, as she turned to look at the others, they didn’t notice.

“Zuko, we’re here for you,” Katara said. She rubbed his back, both as a distraction for him and for herself. “We’re going to get through this together, okay?”

She heard a small noise, and hope rushed through her veins.

Katara pulled away from him gently, still holding onto him. “Can you look at me?”

Zuko pulled his head up. His eyes were so foggy, so glazed over. Red-rimmed and full of tears. The golden orbs were full of so many unspoken emotions, and Katara wished she could hug them all away.

“Zuko, you’re doing great!” Suki said from over Katara’s shoulder. She leaned forward to stroke his hair gently. “I’m so proud of you!”

Katara kept her eye contact with him, hoping it was a lifeline—an anchor to bring him back.

He wasn’t completely concentrated, but she could tell he was staring at her eyes too.

She let herself get lost in his beautiful, golden eyes. They looked like the sun incarnate, like a drop of its radiant light fell from the heavens and pooled into the sockets. There were hundreds of honey-colored crevices that dipped in and out, creating delicate patterns throughout each iris. They faded into a soft amber ring around the border. They were magnificent.

“Katara… _Katara_?”

“Huh?” She turned to look over at Sokka, who was staring at her intently. “What did you say?”

“I asked if you knew about this.” He turned back to look at Zuko. His pale hands were shaking, and he watched as Toph squeezed one of them. “Did you know he was…you know?”

Katara nodded slowly. “Yeah…yeah, I did.”

“Katara, why didn’t you tell anyone?” Toph’s voice had a slight edge to it, but it was still mainly shadowed by concern.

“His support system is only me and Uncle Iroh,” Katara said. “I couldn’t allow him to lose trust in me.”

Suki nodded. “It’s okay,” she said, her voice soft. “We understand.”

“This was something he needed to tell us himself anyway,” Sokka said. He kept his eyes glued to Zuko’s face.

Zuko’s breathing had slowed down dramatically. His hands still shook slightly, but he was coming back.

“Hey, buddy, are you feeling better?” Sokka asked. Zuko nodded shakily. “Okay, good. Can we get you anything?” He shook his head.

“Suki, can you get him some water?” Katara whispered. Suki nodded and hurried off, shutting the door behind her silently.

“Hey, you’re doing so well, you know that?” Toph squeezed his hand gently. “And I don’t give compliments all that often, so take it while you can.”

Zuko let out a tight chuckle. Katara smiled. _You’re almost there._

She heard him take a few deep breaths. He was no longer hyperventilating, and Katara was extremely grateful.

She put her hand on his forehead. His skin was scalding, much hotter than usual. “You’re burning up,” she said.

“I’m back. I’ve got you some water,” Suki said as she opened the door. She nudged it closed with her hip before carrying the glass over. She handed it to Zuko, but Katara immediately bent a few sips out before he could do anything.

“I’m going to put a little on your forehead, okay?” she said. She spread the cool water over her fingertips. “It’s going to be cold.”

Zuko nodded and lifted the cup to his lips. Katara pressed her fingers to his forehead and let the cool water heal him slightly, lowering his temperature. She resisted the urge to kiss his temple.

“I-I’m sorry,” he croaked out. “I didn’t—”

“Zuko, stop,” Sokka said. “This isn’t your fault. Don’t apologize for it.”

“Yeah, Aang’s the one who sent you into a panic attack,” Toph said with a shrug. “If anything, we’re blaming him.” Katara whacked her shoulder, and Toph looked over at her. “What? It’s true!”

“No, he’s right,” Zuko said. “It was selfish.”

“No, it’s not.” Suki knelt down next to Sokka, staring intently into Zuko’s eyes. “What Aang said was childish and immature. Suicide is not selfish, and it’s not a sign of weakness.” She leaned forward to touch his kneecap and squeezed it gently. “For my girls, if a Kyoshi warrior commits suicide—and yes, it’s happened; twice to be exact—we give them the same funeral that we give the ones that die at war. Because it’s the same thing. They simply lost a battle, one within themselves. They are still seen as courageous and full of honor. Having these thoughts and acting upon them…that doesn’t take away from who they are. And it doesn’t take away from you either.”

Zuko exhaled. Katara watched as he closed his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Group hug?” Sokka asked. However, he didn’t wait for an answer. He immediately pulled Zuko into him, and the firebender allowed himself to drop his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. He collapsed into his friend’s embrace. His tears fell harder as everyone else joined, squeezing him together tighter and tighter.

“Thank you,” he said through tears. “I can’t ever repay you.”

“You don’t have to,” Toph said. “That’s what friends are for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's support system is slowly but surely growing! I was too excited to wait much longer, and the chapter came out longer than expected.
> 
> Please enjoy! :)


	14. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each member of Zuko's support group tries to help a little more.

Iroh’s right hand ached dreadfully. The side of his palm was covered in ink. However, he ignored it. He had more important things to worry about.

He looked down at the paper in front of them. The messenger hawk stood perched on the side of the table, and Iroh scratched its little head. He broke off part of a biscuit and fed it to the bird as he read.

After the third sentence, Iroh groaned in disbelief and flung the paper to the floor.

He’d spent the last several weeks sending letter after letter to friends all over the world. Looking for someone—anyone—to help him. And yet, after countless letters and numerous attempts to find someone who was free, there was no one—absolutely no one—who could come to Ba Sing Se for a few weeks and take care of the Jasmine Dragon, to make sure it didn’t get broken into and kept it clean while he was away.

On top of that, he’d been searching endlessly for someone who had gone through the same thing Zuko had. Therapists were impossible to find, harder to come by then even the most elusive of spirits. On top of that, mental illness was taboo. It was ignored, and as a result, therapists had all but vanished. The only one he’d ever heard of was Wang Fire, but he was all but a myth—impossible to track down.

He needed someone who used to walk in Zuko’s shoes. Someone who would understand exactly what his nephew went through.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing was kept tightly under wraps, making it even harder to find someone who understood.

The longer he took, the higher the risk. His nephew needed someone, and he needed him now.

Iroh pulled out another sheet of parchment. Maybe—just maybe—the spirits were on his side, and this one would work.

* * *

“So…” Sokka said, adjusting his position on the floor. His legs were falling asleep from kneeling too long. “How exactly did Katara find out?”

“Yeah, why’d you go to her first, Sparky?” Toph pouted. “We’re just as capable of helping!”

“It wasn’t exactly my decision, to tell you the truth,” Zuko said. He reached up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. “She, uh, she’s…kinda the one who found me.”

“Wait, what?” Sokka whipped his head over to look at her. “How did you manage to hide that from everyone?”

“I told you,” Katara said. “It wasn’t my place to tell anyone.”

“That must’ve been hard to keep it a secret,” Suki said. She reached over to squeeze Katara’s hand encouragingly and smiled at her.

“That’s why I was so worried when I couldn’t find Zuko,” Katara admitted. “I knew he had attempted once, and I didn’t…I didn’t know…”

“We get it, Sweetness,” Toph said. “It makes more sense now.”

“Yeah, I was wondering what made you so worried,” Sokka said. “I thought you were just madly in love with him or something,” he joked.

“What?”

“No!”

“I-uh-”

“It’s not—”

“Like—”

“Uh…yeah…”

_Nailed it._

Katara looked over at Zuko. His face was bright red—just like hers surely was—and his golden eyes were turned away from hers, likely full of embarrassment. She turned to look at Toph and Suki, and the two gave her a knowing look.

_Oh. Right._

“Wait, what were you doing on the roof, Katara?” Suki asked. Katara thanked the spirits for the change of subject.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I took Appa out on a midnight ride,” she answered. “I was in the air when I saw him.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Toph said. “I don’t know what I would do if Sparky were gone. Who else would carry me around the palace and put up with my teasing?” She punched Katara’s arm playfully, but the waterbender knew it ran deeper than that. Zuko had become a big brother figure to her.

“Are you feeling a little better now that you’ve told us?” Suki asked.

“Yeah, I am,” Zuko said. “It feels like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.”

“That’s just your fancy Fire Lord attire,” Toph said. She tugged on his hair playfully, and Zuko cracked a smile. He pulled on a strand of her bangs in return, and she tried to slap his hand away. However, there was no mistaking her infectious, gleeful grin.

Katara smiled at the two. At Sokka and Suki in front of them, laughing. At the support group that Zuko had in front of him.

_This is what he needed all along._

* * *

The air in Zuko’s bedroom was warmer than usual, but he didn’t mind. It wasn’t humid or stuffy, so it didn’t bother him.

He knelt down in front of his bed, directly in front of the trunk. He unlocked it and pulled the heavy lid open until the top leaned against his mattress. He reached in and grabbed a piece of parchment, one older than he was. It was half-burned from where he destroyed one side of it in anger, but he still cherished it.

It was a portrait of Ursa.

She was still young, having just been married to Ozai. Her face was flawless, free of any marks or blemishes. Her straight hair was sleek and fell down her shoulders gracefully. There was an arm in the background, one leaning over to place a hand in the small of her back. Ozai’s hand. However, Zuko left it alone. Although he did his best to burn Ozai out of the picture completely, he didn’t want to risk burning any part of Ursa too. He just had to ignore the arm and the invisible hand behind her back.

Right after his mother left, Zuko used to stare in the mirror whenever he had the chance. There, he could imagine seeing her in his own features. In his nose and high cheekbones. In his face shape and chin. In his golden eyes. He imagined seeing her—her kindness and love—whenever his reflection looked back at him.

Right now, she was back at her home in Hira’a with Ikem and Kiyi. Zuko knew she was scheduled to come visit in a few weeks, and he knew he’d have to tell her what was going on then. He pushed those thoughts aside. _That can wait._

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts, and he quickly shoved the parchment back into the trunk and closed the lid. He stood up off the floor just as the door opened. He expected to see Katara there. However, he backed up instinctively, almost tripping on the trunk when he saw who it really was.

“Aang!” Zuko’s eyes were wide, full of shock and slight fear. He felt his heart rate begin to pick up. “What are you doing here?”

“Can…can I sit?” Aang asked. His voice was soft. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Everything in Zuko was screaming at him not to listen. Azula would play this game. She’d pretend to listen—pretend to care—but really, she was just biding her time. Waiting for the right time to strike.

But this wasn’t Azula. This was Aang, one of his best friends.

Zuko nodded slowly.

Aang took a seat on Zuko’s bed, and Zuko sat down on the mattress beside him. He kept his distance, and he hoped the airbender wouldn’t notice.

“I wanted to apologize,” Aang said. His voice was calm but genuine. It stilled Zuko’s racing heart immediately. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you, especially not…not then.”

Zuko didn’t know what to say. His mind was blank, and his mouth felt dry. He settled on nodding stiffly.

“I’m just…I don’t know. I’ve never had to deal with anything like that before.” Aang pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them. Zuko wondered how he didn’t fall off the side of the bed. “I mean, I’ve heard of people taking their lives before, but I could never understand why. And…and I didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself.”

Zuko watched as Aang pulled his gaze away from him to stare in front of himself instead. His eyebrows lowered sadly, and Zuko could see the shame in his gray eyes.

“Plus, I…I saw how close you’ve been to Katara these past few weeks. I saw her go into your room several times, and once, I walked in to see you asleep together. At first, I was really mad because she seemed to be talking and hanging out with you more. And I really, really like her. But it…she likes you more.” Aang was looking at his knees. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to Zuko, but the Fire Lord let him continue anyway. “She doesn’t like me that way. Not like that.

“I was jealous. And when you said…when you said that…that you wanted to…kill yourself,” Aang stumbled. He inhaled slowly. “When you said that, my jealousy mixed with confusion. I didn’t mean to lash out at you. I just let my emotions get out of control.

“I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, but I just wanted you to know where I was coming from. I wasn’t trying to say those things out of spite, really. And I didn’t mean them. You’re not selfish, Zuko. I promise. I’m really, really sorry.”

Zuko nodded. “It’s okay,” he whispered. His voice felt raw, and his throat hurt. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

Aang leaned forward to hug Zuko, and the older boy accepted the embrace. He wasn’t as big as Sokka, as soft as Katara, or as strong as Toph, but the hug was nice regardless. He smelled like cotton, rain, and juniper—like a spring day. Zuko squeezed him tighter.

When the two broke apart, Aang gave Zuko a soft smile. “Can you…can you tell me what happened? From the beginning, I mean.”

Zuko nodded. “Yeah…yeah, I can.”

Aang smiled, and Zuko felt his nerves relax.

_It’s going to be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I couldn't just leave Aang to hate Zuko forever. It's too out of character for his little, sweet soul.
> 
> Things are starting to come together more, and I've got a few ideas for future chapters. I'm super excited!
> 
> Thank you again for the kudos and comments! I hope you liked this newest chapter! :)


	15. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Katara has a nightmare of her own, she and Zuko talk about Ozai.

That night, Katara found herself in Zuko’s bedroom again. She had her whalebone comb in her hands and Zuko sitting between her legs, facing the same direction as her. She dragged the comb through his hair gently, making sure to scratch his scalp softly with the tips of its teeth. A little, content noise escaped his throat softly, and Katara smiled.

“I heard you and Aang talking,” she said. She ran the comb through his raven hair again, from top to bottom. It was hard to imagine that his hair could be so soft. “Did he apologize?”

“Yeah, he did.” Zuko tilted his head back a little more to allow Katara to reach more of his scalp. “I could tell he felt really bad. You could hear it in his voice.”

Katara nodded. “He apologized to us afterward, but it’s not our forgiveness that mattered—it was yours.” She put down her comb and marveled at Zuko’s hair. She’d brushed it until it shined. She ran her fingers through it gently. “But he’s a peacemaker,” she said. “He’ll apologize to everyone regardless.”

Zuko turned around and kissed her forehead. She smiled. His lips were so soft and warm. He pulled away to look down at her. “It’s all taken care of. He apologized, and he wanted to listen, so I told him.”

“I’m glad you didn’t hold a grudge,” Katara said. “I know I would’ve.”

He shrugged. “There are more important things to worry about. I don’t want to lose a friend over this.”

Katara smiled and wrapped her arms around Zuko’s neck. She leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose. Zuko grinned and brought his hands down to her waist. He lowered her down to his mattress, pressing her back against the soft material. He grabbed the comb off the bed and leaned over to the dresser to move it. When he returned, he pressed another kiss to Katara’s head.

She sighed happily. She brought her hands up to his waist and pulled the belt off. Dragging his tunic off his shoulders, she flung it to the floor. She let her hands wander across his bare back, feeling each muscle as they tensed and relaxed underneath her touch. Even though he slept shirtless every night, Katara never tired of feeling his bare skin.

Zuko sidled up next to her, cuddling her closely. He pushed his face into the crook of her neck and smiled, kissing her neck.

Katara wrapped her arms around him and pressed him into her. She kissed his hair. She adored how cuddly Zuko was. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, and she never wanted that feeling to end.

She dragged her fingers along his back, along his shoulder blades and spine. She scratched the skin softly, and Zuko let out a small noise that was barely muffled in her neck. She giggled and pulled him away from her. His face was red, from his cheeks all the way up to his right ear.

“You don’t get a lot of physical affection, do you?” She smirked, looking at his fogged-over, golden eyes.

“N-no, not really,” he admitted. “Not since Mom left, and even then…”

Katara brought her arms up around his neck. “Well, we’re just going to have to change that, won’t we?” She kissed the tip of his nose, and his face flushed brighter. “Because I happen to always show my affection physically.”

He smiled at her, and he pressed his forehead against hers. She felt her own face warm up, but she smiled back at him.

“Can…can I kiss you?” he whispered. His voice was low, but Katara heard each word clearly.

“Yes,” she breathed. “I want you to.”

She closed her eyes just as he pressed his lips against hers. They were soft and warm, and the way they molded against her own made her see stars.

He cupped her cheek with his hand and opened his mouth slightly, pressing deeper into her. She moaned into his kiss. She swore could feel the electricity all the way in her toes.

It was amazing and perfect and beautiful. It was as if they were made for each other, molded perfectly by the spirits to align with the other. It was even better than she imagined.

She moved her arms off of his neck and brought her fingertips to each side of his jaw, pulling him in closer.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that or who pulled away first. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she looked into his golden eyes. They were glazed over with pleasure, and Katara smiled.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.” His voice was breathy, and Katara felt heat pool in her lower stomach.

Zuko laid down on top of Katara, nestling his left cheek into her breast. He wrapped his arms around her, and she brought her right arm over his shoulder to rest on his back. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

She never wanted this to end.

* * *

Zuko woke up to a pitch-black room. The world seemed oddly quiet. He laid as still as he could, listening closely to figure out what woke him.

Suddenly, he heard a small whimper come from his right side and felt a sharp movement on his ribcage. He turned his head to see Katara, still asleep, beside him. Her face was scrunched up in discomfort, and tears were streaked down her cheeks.

“Katara?” Zuko said, his voice groggy and full of sleep. “Kat, is everything okay?” He rolled over to flip onto his side and leaned forward to kiss the tears off her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her warm body and pulled her closer to him.

Katara whimpered again and buried her face into Zuko’s bare chest. He brought one of his hands up to her head and began running it down her hair, feeling each messy curl. He kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay, Kat. I’ve got you.”

“Mom…” Katara whispered. Her voice sounded so broken, and Zuko squeezed her tighter. He immediately knew what nightmare she was having.

He held her as she whimpered, crying out for her mom softly. With each tear, he squeezed her tighter, kissing her hair and praying to Agni that her nightmare would be over soon.

After a few minutes, her breathing calmed down and her tears ceased. However, Zuko kept holding onto her tightly.

He’d been having nightmares since he was young, and they only worsened with the loss of his mother and his banishment. It made him self-conscious to sleep with others around, and he could never get a full night’s sleep. To see Katara going through the same thing made his heart ache more than he wanted to admit.

Her face soon lost its scared appearance, but Zuko couldn’t force himself to go back to sleep. He looked out the window, and the sun was beginning to rise.

_Might as well start meditating._

He wriggled out of the comforter slowly, as to not wake Katara up. He sat on the bed beside her, resting one of his hands on her back to ground himself before starting his breathing techniques.

Katara snuggled closer to the pillow Zuko had fallen asleep on, and Zuko smiled at her before closing his eyes.

* * *

After meditating, Zuko crawled back under the covers. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, but he just wanted to cuddle.

He inched closer to Katara, who had flipped over on her side. He pressed himself to her back and moved her hair slightly so he wouldn’t drown in it. When her neck was exposed, he kissed a line down the side before wrapping his arms around her torso and burying his face into her hair.

He couldn’t describe how much he loved Katara’s hair. It was soft and smelled like hibiscus flowers. He loved the way it curled and the texture of it under his fingertips. Her hair was so beautiful that he couldn’t put it into words.

Zuko heard a soft groan and felt Katara turn her head back to look at him. She gave him a sleepy smile that made his heart beat faster.

“Good morning, love,” she said. Her voice was so drowsy, and it made him smile. She flopped her head back down, and Zuko chuckled at her. He pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear.

“Are you feeling a little better?” he asked.

“Hmm?”

He kissed her temple. “You had a nightmare last night.”

Katara stilled. “Oh.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I…um…” Her eyes wandered to the wall as she tried to organize her thoughts. Her brain was still muddled with sleep. “I dreamed that I saw Mom.” Zuko cuddled her closer. “After confronting Yon Rha, I thought my nightmares had stopped for good, but I guess…I guess not.”

Zuko wrapped his arms around her tighter. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know how horrible nightmares can be.”

“I know you do,” Katara said with a smile. “Which I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”

Zuko stilled. “About what?”

“In some of your nightmares and especially during your panic attacks, you’ll often call out and beg to…to your dad.” Zuko exhaled shakily, and she traced his bare arms to distract him. Seeing her fingers on the little, pale burn scars made his stomach tighten. “Did…did he hurt you?”

He closed his eyes.

_Don’t let them know, Prince Zuko._

_This is our secret._

_You can’t let anyone know._

_Don’t tell them._

“Ye-yeah,” Zuko admitted, ignoring Ozai’s creeping voice. “He did.”

Katara breathed out. “I knew he was a bad father, but I didn’t…”

“Yeah,” he said. His chest felt tight. He didn’t know what to say.

“How long did it go on for?” Katara asked.

Zuko shrugged. “Since I can remember. He wanted to throw me over the palace walls immediately after I was born.”

He could hear Katara gasp, and he immediately regretted sharing that detail.

_She’s going to pity you. You don’t deserve her pity._

“Did your mother—”

“He beat her too.” Zuko buried his face in Katara’s hair. Maybe then, he could hide from his past. “The only one he didn’t touch was Azula.”

“Oh, Zuko…” Katara flipped over to face him. Her sapphire eyes were watery. Zuko mentally cursed. He didn’t want to be the one to make her cry.

Her fingers reached up to brush his left cheekbone. “We all thought you got your scar in a training accident,” she muttered. “That’s not true, is it?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not.” She blinked, and her tears spilled over. He brought his hand up to brush them away.

“I spoke out against the general at a war meeting,” he said. “I knew I shouldn’t have, but he wanted to use the new recruits as bait. I was challenged to an Agni Kai, and I thought it would be against the general, but it wasn’t. I had to fight my Father.” He’d never gotten the chance to tell it. He’d never wanted to before. But now, it felt like the words couldn’t stop spilling out. “I begged for forgiveness, but he refused. He burned off half my face and banished me from the Fire Nation.”

Katara’s face dropped. More tears slipped down her cheeks, but she ignored them. “Zuko…I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay.” He rested his chin on top of her head. He couldn’t bring himself to see the sadness in his eyes. “Father said I could only come home if I brought the Avatar with me. But at that point, he hadn’t been seen in a hundred years. He was all but impossible to find.” Zuko blinked, and he felt tears fall down his cheeks. “But it was easier to believe in the impossible than to believe that my own father never wanted me to come home. That he never loved me to begin with.”

Katara pulled away from him to kiss his cheeks over and over again. With each tear, she wiped away with her lips, new ones sprung from his eyes. Before he knew it, he was sobbing into her arms.

“I tried so hard to be the perfect son, but it never even mattered,” he cried. “I just wanted him to love me, but he…he never…”

“Zuko…” Katara stroked his hair softly. “I’m so sorry…”

“Why?” he cried. His chest heaved with each shaky breath. “Why didn’t he love me?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t know. He’s a horrible man and an even worse father. He never deserved you.”

Zuko bawled until he ran out of tears. However, Katara held him the whole time, letting him weep into her arms. She kissed his face, his hair, every inch of skin she could see. She whispered sweet nothings into his right ear and told him how much she loved him, how much the Gaang loved him.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I didn’t mean to…I didn’t—”

“Zuko, you don’t have to apologize for showing your emotions.” She kissed his nose, which was red from crying. “I want you to tell me these things.” She hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I knew he was emotionally abusive, but I didn’t realize that he was physically abusive too.”

He shrugged weakly. Katara kissed his cheek. “You know that you have a new family, one with us. And your uncle is more of a father figure than Ozai will ever be.” He nodded. “We love you. I love you. Don’t forget that.”

“I love you too.”

“Do you want to try to get some sleep before the others wake up?” she asked. “You still have about an hour, and I know crying probably wore you out.”

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?”

“…Little spoon.”

Katara smiled. “Okay.” She kissed his cheekbone and flipped over. Zuko turned over as well and smiled softly as he felt her press her chest against his back. She wrapped her left arm around him and laced her right hand through his fluffy hair.

“I’m here for you,” she said. She knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her with his left ear, but she wanted to say it anyway. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty fluffy chapter overall, but I still needed some angst. Can't you just imagine Zuko being super cuddly though?
> 
> I'm not sure if I'll post tomorrow or not, but I still wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving just in case! I'm so grateful for the love and support this fandom has. You guys are the best! :)


	16. Proclamations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some conversations about where they stand, Zuko and Katara get ready to announce their relationship.

“So…you and Sparky, huh? How’s it going between you two?” Toph said with a smirk.

Katara groaned and chucked a pillow at her. It hit her directly in the face. “What part of ‘get a better hobby’ didn’t you understand?” she asked.

“The part where you didn’t say please,” Toph said.

“We’re just messing with you,” Suki said. “Although I am kinda curious…how _are_ you two doing?”

“What do you mean by that?” Katara asked. Her sapphire eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I mean, what phase are you in?”

“Still talking?" Toph asked. "Is he taking you on dates?”

“I mean I see you go into his bedroom every night, so maybe you’re already in _that_ phase, if you know what I mean.” Suki winked.

“I only had one pillow,” Katara said, “and I regret wasting it on Toph.”

“Oh, lighten up, Sugar Queen.” Toph plopped down next to the waterbender and put her head in her lap.

“We’re not even doing _that_ , thank you very much.” Katara pouted and crossed her arms. However, it was a thinly-veiled attempt to disguise her blushing cheeks.

“Toph?” Suki asked with a laugh.

“She’s telling the truth,” she said. “I’d be able to feel the vibrations from the bed anyway. And I don’t, unlike someone else I know.” Still laying on Katara, Toph kicked Suki lightly, and the older girl grabbed her ankle.

“It’s not my fault that Sokka’s so—”

“I’d really prefer not to hear about my brother's sex life,” Katara said, slapping a hand over Suki’s mouth. A grin pulled at the Kyoshi warrior’s lips, but she raised her hands in mock defeat. Katara pulled her hand off the other’s mouth.

“You still haven’t answered us,” Toph said. “What phase are you two in? Are you official yet?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Katara said. She pulled an inky strand of Toph’s hair out, one that fell out of her bun. She began to braid it mindlessly. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“So you can go into his room nightly, but you can’t talk about where you two stand?” Toph said, quirking an eyebrow up.

“It’s just never come up before.” Katara finished off the simple braid, tying it off with a piece of black ribbon. She tucked it back into the bun. “I mean, I’ve already admitted that I like him, and—”

“Wait, what?” Toph jerked herself up. “You did? When did that happen?”

“I don’t know.” Katara hugged her arms, shielding herself from the embarrassment. “Like two days ago?”

“And you didn’t tell us?” Suki said.

“There wasn’t exactly a good time,” she said. “I mean, between hanging out with the other boys and Zuko’s panic attack, we never had any girl time.”

The mention of Zuko’s panic attack yesterday sent the other two silent.

“Did you really find him?” Toph asked. “Was he really going to kill himself?” The last part came out in a soft whisper.

Katara nodded. “Yeah…yeah, I did.” She hugged herself even tighter. “I was about to tug on Appa’s reins to land when I saw him on the roof. He was about to step off the side. If I hadn’t gotten him at that very moment…”

She didn’t have to finish her statement. The others knew.

_He would’ve died_.

Katara shook her head, trying to get rid of the memory.

Suki reached out and pulled one of her hands off her arm. She squeezed it gently and smiled softly. “I’m so grateful you were out there and that you’ve been helping him through this.”

“Yeah,” Toph agreed. “I mean, Sparky’s bad at bottling his emotions…well, except anger.”

Katara smiled. She remembered how hot-headed he was, back when he was still chasing them. She never would’ve imagined how much would change since then.

“But I’m glad you were there for him,” Toph finished. “And I know Aang and Sokka feel the same way.”

“Speaking of, Aang apologized to him last night,” Katara said. “Zuko told me himself.”

Suki shook her head. “I still _cannot_ believe he said that.”

Katara nodded, but deep down, she wasn’t surprised. Aang had always had a habit of lashing out at the wrong people when things didn’t go to plan. When Appa was stolen, he snapped at everyone in his vicinity. After she got mad at him for kissing her without her consent, he glared at Zuko the rest of the night. It didn’t surprise her, but it hurt that he’d kicked Zuko when he was already down. Zuko never admitted anything that personal to their friend group before, and he likely wouldn’t anymore. Not after that.

“But anyways, you told Zuko?” Suki repeated, changing the subject. “How did he react?”

“It kinda slipped out, actually,” Katara admitted. “Toph? Do you remember how you came to my room and told me how Sokka and Aang would freak out if they knew I’d been going into his room?”

“Yeah, I do,” Toph said. “I gave the letter to one of the servants to mail to my parents, by the way.”

Katara nodded. “Well, I was really scared that I would upset everyone, and so I wound up not going to his room that night. And…and I guess something happened because Zuko started slipping.”

“Wait, so you went to his room every night and laid with him,” Suki said, “and then, you completely stopped out of the blue and didn’t tell him why?”

“Uhh…yeah?”

She was met by a quick slap to her bicep.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being stupid,” Suki snapped. “If his mental health was already inconsistent, you can’t just break habits like that without telling him. He’s going to jump to the worst possible scenario, and his anxiety will eat him alive.”

“Oh…” Katara resisted the urge to slap her forehead. “I didn’t realize.”

“It’s not one of those things most people think about,” Suki said. She sighed. “One of my girls, Ayame, was the same way, just before she took her own life. All it takes is the littlest thing.”

Katara felt her stomach twist. “I had no idea…” She immediately regretted not going that night. She didn’t realize that this was something she had to worry about, something she needed to think of. “I need to apologize to him.”

Suki nodded. “Yeah, you need to be careful. Tell him next time before you do something like that.”

“I will.”

“Anyways, go back to the story!” Toph said. “What happened?”

“I didn’t go to his room, and that night, I couldn’t sleep. I went to his room much later, and he wasn’t there. He just…left. And I panicked. He told me that he wasn’t in a good place and needed to go talk to Uncle Iroh. I guess it makes sense now though…” She bit her lip. _How could I be stupid? How could I do that to him?_

“When he got back, I started bawling,” Katara continued. “And he apologized and said that he didn’t think anyone cared. That’s when it slipped.”

Suki smiled from ear-to-ear. She couldn’t disguise her obvious joy. “What did he say?”

Katara blushed. “He said he liked me too.”

“Aww! That’s so cute!” Suki exclaimed. It was strange to see her so sappy. Even around Sokka, she typically wasn’t super gushy.

“Took long enough,” Toph said. However, she too had a grin on her face.

“I can’t wait until you make it public,” Suki said. “Just imagine!”

“Those old people will be so upset,” Toph said, smiling. “I can’t wait to see their faces!”

“Toph, you can’t see…”

“But I can hear, and their outbursts will be hilarious!”

However, this didn’t calm Katara’s nerves in the slightest.

_What are we going to do?_

* * *

She asked the same question to Zuko that night. The two were curled up on his bed, his covers strewn messily over them. Her head was on his bare chest, her fingers on his scar.

“Why do you care what they think?” Zuko asked.

“I don’t want you to go through the unnecessary drama,” Katara said. She traced the star-shaped scar. “I mean, I know the servants probably see me sneak in every night and leave every morning. What are we going to do if the council members find out?”

“Find out what? That I’m courting the sweet, selfless Katara of the Southern Water Tribe?” he asked. “They’ll freak out for a little while until they realize how good it is for the Fire Nation politically.” He shrugged. “Besides, I don’t care what they think.”

Katara smiled. She pressed a small kiss to his pec, directly on top of his heart.

“Why? Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I mean, no Fire Lord has ever been with a waterbender before. Plus, we’ve got my brother and Aang to worry about. I mean, Sokka will get all overprotective, and Aang will probably go into the Avatar state when he finds out.”

“But if the Fire Nation officials can come to terms with it eventually, they can too.” He tightened his embrace, closing the gap between them before kissing her forehead. She smiled. “I’m honestly more nervous about your dad than those two anyway.”

“Why is that?” Katara asked with a smirk. “Is he intimidating or something?”

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t be too keen on my daughter dating someone who tried to capture her and her friends several times.” He turned red.

“And tied her to a tree,” Katara added. Her smirk grew larger.

“And…tied her to a tree,” he repeated.

“And stole her necklace.”

“I didn’t steal it! I found…whatever! It doesn’t matter!”

“And you wore it around your wrist like a bracelet,” Katara said with a laugh.

Zuko felt his face heat up, and she simply kissed his cheek.

“I’m not upset,” she said. “Not anymore, anyway. I know why you did it now.” She smiled at him, her sapphire eyes seemingly glowing. “But you did help rescue him from the Boiling Rock, so you’ve got that going for you. And you…you did save my life.” She circled the scar underneath his heart with her fingertips. The skin was rough, but she knew Zuko wore it with pride.

“I’m still nervous,” he muttered. Katara giggled and hugged his neck.

“It’ll be alright,” she said. “So…are we…you know?”

“Hmm?”

“Courting?”

Zuko kissed her hair. “If you’d be willing.”

She smiled. “I would love that.”

He smiled back at her before pressing his lips to hers. It was just as spectacular as the first time. She hadn’t realized how good Zuko could be at kissing.

She felt her eyelids flutter shut, and she pulled him closer to her.

He smiled against her lips.

* * *

“Ready?” Zuko whispered. Katara nodded, trying her hardest to disguise her smile. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it once before letting go.

He was having a hard time keeping his eyes off her. She was beautiful, done up by the handmaids for the occasion. She was dressed in a flowy, periwinkle gown with off the shoulder sleeves that made Zuko’s throat dry. Her hair was tied up in several elaborate braids that gathered into a bun. She had managed to persuade them to keep her pale blue beads and hair loopies. She was stunning.

“There you are,” Toph said from behind them. The two turned to see her walk over to them. Like Katara, she too was dressed up. Her ivory dress reached the floor, hiding her bare feet. Her sash was pale yellow with brown and green flowers that matched her mandarin collar. Her hair was in its typical bun, but the handmaids had given her a headband laced with jasmines and azaleas. “How are you feeling, Sparky?”

“Nervous.” He smiled, but it was a poorly-disguised attempt at hiding his anxiety. “I haven’t spoken to a crowd this size since my coronation, and I’ve never been good at public speaking.”

“You’re going to do great,” Katara said. She gave him a comforting smile, and he immediately felt better.

“Yeah, Sparky, just relax. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“You could trip on your way in,” Sokka said, entering the back room. He was wearing his wolf armor, but he didn’t have his helmet on. The white wool peeked out of the royal blue, and he stuck out amongst the crimson walls of the palace.

“Wow, thanks. That makes me feel better,” Zuko deadpanned.

“Well, you won’t trip, so don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Zuko, I will make you a warrior’s promise that if you trip and embarrass yourself, I will immediately do something ten times more embarrassing to take the attention off of you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Why not? They won’t remember you tripping if I do something even worse!”

Zuko put his hand on Sokka’s shoulder. “I appreciate it, but no.”

Sokka shrugged. “Well, in case you change your mind, I’m here for you, buddy.”

Suki pushed the curtain open, peeking into the back room. She was in her Kyoshi warrior regalia, face paint and all. “Hey, have you guys seen Aang?”

“No, I haven’t seen him since breakfast,” Katara said. “Toph?”

“He’s on his way,” Toph said, detecting the airbender’s movements through the floor. “He’s heading up the east corridor staircase now.”

“Okay, good,” Zuko said. “He’s close then.”

“Fire Lord Zuko!”

Zuko whipped his head around to see Iroh coming towards him. Zuko grinned and immediately embraced his uncle, pulling him into a tight hug.

“How have you been, my nephew?” he asked.

“Much better,” he said. “I’m a little nervous for the announcement, but I’m doing better.” He released his grip on Iroh, but the old man still hugged him tightly.

“I’ve been trying to come for weeks,” he whispered. “Ever since you told me.”

“Uncle…”

“I’ve been worried about you, nephew.” He squeezed the young man tighter. “I don’t want to lose two sons.”

Zuko felt his eyes well up with tears, but he squeezed his eyelids shut, willing them away. _Not before the announcement._

“I managed to get someone to take care of the Jasmine Dragon,” Iroh said, speaking in his normal volume. He broke the hug and pulled away. “Unfortunately, the only one free was Bumi.”

“You left King Bumi in charge of your tea shop?” Sokka asked. “Do you want him to break all your cups?”

“I know what they say about a bull in a china shop,” Iroh said, “but luckily, this is a tea shop, and Bumi’s not a bull.” He laughed, and Zuko smiled. He forgot how much he missed his time with his uncle. The hearty laughter between Pai Sho games and cups of tea. He hoped he would stay longer than a few days.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Aang said, rushing into the back room. He swept the curtain aside with his airbending. His golden robes—the same ones he wore at Zuko’s coronation—swayed with it. “I couldn’t find my necklace.”

“Aang, I said I took it out of the trunk and put it on your bed for you,” Katara said.

“I didn’t even look in the trunk,” he admitted sheepishly, a smile pulling at his cheeks. “But at least I found it!” He pulled the necklace out with his thumb. Its wooden beads clanked together as Aang rubbed the emblem on the matching pendant.

“Just in time,” one of the advisors said, peeking behind the curtain. “If you would assume your positions, we can begin with the announcements.”

“I’m going to guard the front with the other girls,” Suki said. “I’ll catch up with you guys later!” She leaned forward to kiss Sokka’s cheek before speeding away.

“You’re going to do great, nephew,” Iroh said. He put his hands on Zuko’s shoulder, being careful of the shoulder pauldrons. “I know it.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko said, bowing his head to the older man.

Iroh smiled. “I’ll be in the crowd watching the entire time. I will find you after your speech is finished.” He let his arms drop from his nephew’s shoulders and gave him one last smile before disappearing through the curtain after Suki.

“Are you ready?” Aang asked.

Katara looked to Zuko expectantly. He nodded.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Hundreds of people filled the stadium, and it was impossible to see individual faces in the crowd. Standing in the same area of Zuko’s coronation, everyone stared up at the balcony, waiting anxiously for the speech to begin.

The advisor pushed open the curtain and walked out, his scarlet robes caressing the floor with each step. He waited several moments before stiffly raising an arm to silence the crowd.

“People of the Fire Nation,” he announced, his voice clear and strong like a trumpet. “It is my honor to present to you the leaders of the New World.” He stepped aside, allowing the audience to have a full view of the curtain.

“The Great Warrior Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe.” Sokka stepped through the curtain and grinned. He waved to the crowd. He took several steps forward before standing on the left side of the stage.

“Lady Katara of the Southern Water Tribe.” Katara pushed through the curtain and smiled shyly. She stood beside her brother, closer to the scarlet rug that trailed from the curtain and down the walkway.

“Master Toph Beifong of the esteemed Beifong family.” Toph smirked as she pushed through the curtain and walked down the walkway. She stopped where Sokka and Katara were, but she stood on the right, on the opposite side of the rug.

“Avatar Aang, the last of the Air Nomads.” Aang bent the air around him to push the curtain away for dramatic effect. He smiled, waving to the crowd as he took his place next to Toph.

“And Fire Lord Zuko, ruler of our great nation.”

Two men sounded the gongs as Zuko pushed the curtain open. He raised his chin higher and steeled his nerves. He walked down the rug, passing by his four friends and stopping at the edge of the balcony.

The audience erupted in cheers. They clapped and hollered for the five leaders. Zuko let them continue for several moments before raising his hand. The volume decreased slowly until Zuko held their complete attention.

“It is an honor to see you all gathered here this afternoon,” Zuko said. His voice was strong and firm, clear amongst the crowds. “I called you here today to inform you about several important announcements.

“Since the war ended, the other leaders and I have begun to mend the broken pieces of the world,” he continued. “And I’m proud to say that our efforts have paid off. We’ve amended our treaties with the Northern and Southern Water Tribes, both of which we have been at odds with for countless decades. We have also repaired our standings with the Earth Kingdom. Between the nations, our trade has increased, and we’ve seen economic and social growth. After a century of war, we are finally at peace with the other nations.

“My next announcement is that with the war over, it is high time to bring our militias home. All military forces overseas will be brought back to the Fire Nation to reunite with their families and loved ones.” The crowd blossomed in noise. Several women cried out in joy, praising Zuko for allowing their husbands and sons to come home. However, many of the older men and the wealthier families shouted in defiance.

“I know this may harbor mixed responses,” Zuko said, raising his hand to silence the noise, “but with the world at peace, there is no need for us to keep our forces in foreign nations. Keeping them there can and will be seen as a threat to the harmony the leaders and I have tried to reconstruct.

“There is one final announcement.” Zuko turned to look over his shoulder. His golden eyes met Katara’s sapphires ones. He stuck his arm out towards her, his palm upward. Katara smiled as she stepped forward. She placed her hand in his. She stood beside him, still clutching his hand.

“I would like to officially announce my and Katara’s courtship.”

* * *

Noise swarmed from the crowd, louder than anything he’d ever heard before. He heard both yelling and cheering, but the cacophony made it hard to focus.

“He can’t be with a Water Tribe girl!”

“That’s preposterous!”

“Our future Fire Lady cannot be from the Water Tribe!”

“She must be Fire Nation!”

Zuko took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He knew this would happen, but it was still overwhelming.

_They already hate you. This is only making it worse. Ozai’s supporters will only become stronger. They will never—_

His thoughts were interrupted by the gentle but firm squeeze of Katara’s hand in his. He turned to look at her and saw her smile. Her eyes glimmered, and unspoken words between them made his heart warm.

_It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you_.

He squeezed her hand back.

“Lady Katara is a master waterbender and healer,” he said. His voice was clear and confident. He wasn’t expecting it, but he thanked the spirits for it anyway. “She is an ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe. Not only will this be a good move politically, but she has done more for this nation than any other Fire Nation woman has. She is strong and powerful, but she is also selfless and kind. She is the perfect person to stand with me by my side.”

He felt her squeeze his hand again, and he squeezed hers back. The yelling disappeared—likely muffled to reluctant grunts and disapproving noises of annoyance—until all that was left were the cheers.

“We love you, Katara!”

“She is a good choice.”

“And much kinder than the earthbender!”

“Their babies will be simply stunning!”

Zuko closed his eyes. He focused on the feeling of Katara’s hand in his. He wanted to be in his bed with her, cuddling until the moon replaced the sun’s position in the sky.

However, he was more than content to stand here with her now. Proclaiming their new relationship meant no more keeping everything hidden. It meant that Katara didn’t have to sneak to his room anymore. It meant that they could be together without gossiping servants spreading drama throughout the nation.

And that was more than enough to keep him standing on the balcony, watching as the crowd before them cheered for their budding romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I didn't get to post a new chapter due to Thanksgiving festivities, I decided to post a longer one today. However, I got too excited and didn't want to stop, so it's much longer than anticipated. Hopefully, you enjoyed it all the same! :)


	17. Blessings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After revealing their relationship to the nation, Zuko and Katara face the reactions from their closest friends and family.

The speech ended soon after that, and Zuko and Katara walked hand-in-hand back through the curtain, with the other three barely remembering to trail behind them.

Immediately after pushing through the curtain, Zuko grabbed Katara, sweeping her off her feet and pulling her into a kiss. She felt her nerves light up in ecstasy, feeling the kiss all the way in her toes. She relaxed and melted into his embrace.

“I can’t believe it!” Sokka yelled. Zuko broke the kiss, and the two stared at him. Their cheeks were bright red from being interrupted, but they tried to ignore it. Sokka was pacing around the room, his eyes wide. “My baby sister….and one of my best friends… _dating_! This is amazing!”

“Wait, what?” Zuko gaped. _Did I hear that correctly?_

“This is great! Just imagine the double dates between you, me, and Suki!” Sokka laughed and grabbed the two into a tight group hug. “This is the best thing that could’ve happened!”

“What happened to the ‘protective older brother’ talk?” Katara asked with a laugh. The embrace was getting tight, and she tried to wriggle her way out of it.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Sokka broke the embrace and pushed his face into his sister’s. “You’d better not hurt Zuko!” The firebender laughed, and Katara just gave her brother an annoyed glare.

Toph pushed through the curtain, her face split in half by the large grin etched onto it. “Nice work, Sparky. I’m proud of you!”

“For…what exactly?” Zuko asked. He let Toph grab his arm and swing from it.

“For telling the nation and not being a coward.”

“Oh.” Zuko felt his face heat up. “Right.”

“Katara!”

She turned to look over her shoulder. Suki bolted over to her and grabbed her in a tight hug. She squeezed her and smiled. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Hey! Not fair!” Sokka pouted. “Why do you get to hug Suki first?”

“Because she deserves one more right now,” the Kyoshi warrior said, rolling her eyes. She broke the embrace.

“Aang?” Katara turned to look at the young boy standing against the wall. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry.” He gave her a smile. However, Katara knitted her eyebrows at it. “I’m happy for you. I really am.” He turned to look at Zuko. “You’re a lucky guy.”

“Thanks, Aang,” Zuko said. He gave him a soft smile. _He’s not freaking out, so I guess that’s a win._

“Fire Lord Zuko,” one of the guards said, “you and Lady Katara are called for a meeting in the throne room.”

“Of course,” Zuko said, turning to the guard at the doorway. Toph stopped swinging from Zuko's arm and landed on the ground. “We’ll be there in just a moment.”

The guard bowed and left the group alone. Katara put her hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Who do you think it is?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I’m just hoping it’s not one of my father’s supporters.”

“They have to be a higher-up,” Toph said. She slumped against the wall as she picked her feet. “Or some kind of official. They wouldn’t be able to order your guards around otherwise.”

“That’s true,” Sokka said. “You’re master benders though. Whoever it is, you’ll be able to handle it.”

“Thanks, Sokka,” Katara said. She looked over at Zuko. “Should we get going?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we don’t need to be late. We’ll see you guys later!”

“Good luck!”

“See you at dinner!”

Zuko smiled at them and left the back room. Katara followed behind him, grabbing his right hand on the way out.

“Are you alright?” she asked. They walked beside each other, and each step was in-sync. “That was kind of sprung out of nowhere.”

“Yeah, I’m alright. I’m nervous, but you’ll be with me.” He squeezed her hand once. “Whoever it is, we can take them.”

She squeezed his hand back. “I’m glad we can finally do this out in the open,” she said. “Hold hands, I mean.”

“Me too.” Zuko smiled at her. She could see the joy in his eyes. It washed away the anxiety, burying the emotion deep into the irises until it could no longer be detected. “It’ll be nice to have someone at some of these meetings.”

“I’m already at half of them, and they’re so boring,” Katara said with a laugh. “What makes you think I want to be there for even more meetings?”

Zuko blushed. “I, uh, I just hoped…”

Katara laughed, letting each loud giggle echo through the halls. “I’m just joking! You’re so gullible.” She rubbed her thumb against the back of his hand. “Just trying to calm you down before we meet whoever is calling us.” She giggled softly. “But with cheeks as red as yours, I don’t think I did much to help.”

Zuko used his left hand to rub his cheeks, trying to wipe away the bright color to no avail. “Very funny.”

Katara shrugged and smiled at him. “What is it that Toph always tells you? Loosen your hairpiece?”

As they approached the door to the throne room, Zuko let out a deep exhale. He pushed the heavy wood open and held it for Katara. She stepped through and immediately froze.

Two men, both dressed in Water Tribe blue, turned to look at the couple in the doorway.

“Dad!” Katara rushed over to Hakoda and wasted no time burying her face in his shoulder.

“Hey, Snowflake,” he said, hugging her back. After a few moments, they broke the embrace. He turned to look at the other man. “Bato, if you’d excuse us, please.” The other man nodded and left the room, looking at Zuko briefly as he stepped out.

Katara backed up to stand next to Zuko. She dug her foot into the obsidian floor nervously. “Dad, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you before announcing it. None of our friends really knew either, and—”

“It’s okay, Katara,” Hakoda said. “I knew it would happen eventually. I saw the way you looked at each other during Zuko’s healing sessions.”

Zuko dipped down to bow to her father. “Chief Hakoda, it would be an honor to court your daughter…if you’d allow it.”

“Just ‘Hakoda’ is fine,” he said. “You don’t need to put any titles on it.” He watched as Zuko stood back up.

“Dad…are you okay with my decision?” Katara asked. She felt her throat tighten due to anxiety. She felt like a little girl again. Her adventures around the world and battles with countless warriors meant nothing when she was standing in front of her father.

“Of course, I am,” Hakoda said. “He rescued me from the most secure prison in the Fire Nation, and he risked his life to save my daughter. He turned his gaze from his daughter to Zuko, and he gave him a smile. “There’s no one I’d rather have for my daughter.”

Zuko smiled back. “Thank you, sir.”

“And even if I didn’t, I don’t really have a choice in the matter, do I?” Hakoda grinned. “There’s a reason my mother left the Northern Water Tribe. I’m not going to inflict the same boundaries on your relationships as the ones she had to go through.”

Katara smiled. Tears pricked at her sapphire eyes. She tried to blink them away. “Thank you, Dad.” He put his arms out, and she fell into them. They hugged each other tightly, and Katara felt her tears start to slip. She buried her face in the furs on Hakoda’s shoulders to soak them up.

“I’m guessing Sokka already gave you the ‘older brother’ talk?” Hakoda joked with a laugh.

“Something like that,” Zuko said.

“It really means a lot that you’re okay with this,” Katara said, pulling away from her father’s hug. She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry we announced it to everyone else first. We didn’t know when you were coming back here.”

“It’s my understanding that you announced it to everyone at once. You didn't tell everyone separately. I could tell by Sokka’s face that he wasn’t expecting it when you were all up on that stage,” Hakoda said. “And even so, it doesn’t matter. I’d rather you announce it once to everyone than a hundred times separately, anyway.”

A tear slipped down Katara’s cheek, but she ignored it. Instead, she grabbed Zuko’s hand. He squeezed it tightly. She felt her heart speed up.

“Now, there’s someone else waiting for you outside,” Hakoda said. “You don’t want to keep him waiting.”

Katara nodded. “Thank you, Dad.”

“Of course, Snowflake. I love you, you know that?”

“Yeah,” she said, “and I love you too.”

Hakoda smiled before waving the new couple off. Zuko held the door for Katara and barely had a chance to step outside the throne room before a figure grabbed him.

“Nephew, I am so happy for you!”

Zuko blinked. His grip on Katara’s hand loosened in shock. “Uncle?”

Iroh pulled away from Zuko before grabbing Katara next, pulling her into a hug.

“I am so happy for both of you!” His amber eyes were filled with warmth and joy. His face was split in half by a large smile. His excitement was contagious, overflowing with every second.

“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko said. He smiled back at the older man. Iroh wasted no time pulling Zuko into his and Katara’s hug.

“You two will be great together,” he said. “I just know it.”

* * *

Katara and Zuko didn’t have a chance for themselves until that night. The rest of the day was spent with countless conversations with different members of the nation congratulating them on the announcement of their courtship. Katara’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

Zuko ripped off the shoulder pauldrons and the Fire Lord robes. He tossed his tunic to the floor and collapsed on the mattress and stared up at the crimson walls. “I never want to talk to another council member again.”

Katara giggled and laid down on his bed next to him. She curled up on her left side and pressed up against him. She stared at his features. The sharpness of his cheeks and the fullness of his lips. His golden eyes that glittered with the sun.

“You’re so handsome,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. Zuko turned his head to look at her and smiled. It made Katara swoon.

He flipped onto his right side to face her before pulling her to him. He kissed her forehead, then her nose, her cheek, and finally her lips.

Katara sighed softly as she felt herself melt into him. She brought her hands up to the back of his neck, tracing the exposed baby hairs. Lifting her hands up a little further, she pulled the golden hairpiece out of his topknot and let his hair fall down. She immediately ran her fingers through the soft, silky strands. She absolutely loved his hair, and she loved it even more when it was down because it meant she could play with it.

Her fingertips against his scalp made Zuko moan into their kiss. She giggled, savoring the sweet sounds.

She pulled away to press a kiss to his cheekbone and earlobe. Another soft moan escaped his throat.

He flipped her over and buried his face into her hair. He littered kisses all over her neck and ran his fingers through her thick, chocolate brown waves.

Katara gripped his hair tightly. She felt her nerves spark and pop, all the way up to her fingers and down to her toes. Her back arched as Zuko kissed a particularly delicate spot. She had no idea her neck could be so sensitive. His lips felt so warm and soft, and she never wanted them to leave.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered into the skin. He pressed another kiss to the area just above her collarbone. Katara whined and pulled him closer.

The kisses trailed down from her neck to her shoulder and down her arm. He pressed kisses to her fingertips before Katara wrapped her arms around his neck. She cuddled him closer.

“I love you,” he said. He kissed her forehead, and she smiled.

“I love you too.”

* * *

Iroh smiled. He hadn’t stopped smiling since Zuko announced his courtship with Katara. He knew good things would come out of their relationship, and he was excited to see the shift in his nephew.

However, he had business to take care of.

The old man reached into the drawer of his bedroom in the palace. He pulled out a sheet of paper and grabbed the ink quill.

He had yet to complete his search. Bumi’s presence at the Jasmine Dragon only answered one of his prayers. He still needed someone for Zuko.

He’d gone through dozens of letters already, and unfortunately, his latest letter to Chief Hirok from one of the Southern Water Tribe villages came back negative.

It was only a matter of time until Zuko would start slipping again. He needed someone to talk to, someone he could relate to.

Iroh wished mental health wasn’t as taboo. He wished that members of the elite, wealthy, or royal families didn’t hide issues from the world. It would certainly make his hunt easier.

He wanted to take a break and play the tsungi horn, just like he always did when he was starting to feel stressed. Music always helped him calm down. However, that could wait.

Zuko needed him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted one last fluffy chapter before things start shifting for the worse. There will still be plenty of cute Zutara moments, but I'll be bringing back the angst tenfold. 
> 
> This Monday starts finals week, so I might not post every day, but I'm still going to try posting, at a minimum, once every other day. 
> 
> I hope you liked the latest chapter! :) And thank you for all the kudos and comments! I love reading everyone's responses!


	18. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a horrible nightmare, Katara discovers that Zuko's layers run deeper than she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typically don't put notes at the front of my chapters, but I wanted to include a trigger warning at the front of this one. The first part of the chapter shows a graphic depiction of rape. If you don't want to read it, skip to the first line break. Please be warned.

_It was late, later than Zuko expected to stay up until. The sky was pitch black outside. He couldn’t even see the stars. There was also a new moon out, meaning he couldn’t even take comfort in its glow._

_He was huddled under his red comforter, trying to escape the thoughts that swarmed his head. His grandfather was dead. His father was the new Fire Lord. But his mom._

_His mom was gone._

_Zuko wrapped the blanket tighter around him. He was still wearing white from Azulon’s funeral. He hadn’t bothered taking off the golden gauntlets or the shoulder pieces. He didn’t want to do anything except lay there._

_It felt like a dream, watching her leave. Her quick hug and last words to him were at the back of his mind all day. He wished he knew that she wouldn’t be back. Maybe then, he could’ve savored their last conversation. Maybe, just maybe, he could’ve even gone with her._

_The worst part was that no one seemed to care that she was gone. Father ignored it. Azula saw it as just one more thing to tease him about. The servants didn’t speak her name._

_He missed her._

_He missed her so, so much._

_The door creaked open, and Zuko jerked upright. He saw Ozai standing in the doorway, his face steeled and clear of any emotions. The light from the hallway escaped as he closed the door behind him._

_“Prince Zuko,” Ozai hissed. “What are you still doing awake?” He walked over to the dresser and lit the candle sitting on it. Zuko tried to take comfort in its glow, but he couldn’t. Not with Ozai standing right in front of him._

_“I-I, uh—”_

_“Without stuttering, Prince Zuko.”_

_“I…I couldn’t sleep,” he admitted. He bit his tongue, trying to calm his nerves._

_Ozai nodded stiffly. “I understand how hard it is with your mother gone.” He paced around the room slowly, circling Zuko’s bed. The young boy tightened his grip on his comforter._

_He stilled as he felt the mattress shift from beside him. He turned to see Ozai sitting next him, facing the wall instead of his son._

_“However, we must continue like everything is normal,” he continued. “We mustn’t show signs of weakness. What would the people of the Fire Nation think if they saw us mourn her?” He turned to look at his son expectantly._

_“They, um, they’d think we were weak?”_

_“Precisely.” Ozai shifted his body slightly to face his son more. “And what would the other nations think?”_

_“They’d think the same thing.”_

_Ozai nodded. “We can’t afford that.”_

_Zuko laced his fingers together underneath his comforter, hiding his nervousness. His palms were starting to sweat. He hated how close Ozai was to him. He hated knowing that any second, he would lash out, throw him to the floor, and beat him mercilessly._

_And without Ursa, who would be there to stop it?_

_Zuko froze up as he felt fingertips on his jawline. Ozai’s thumb brushed his left cheek softly. Zuko felt the breath inside his lungs still. He couldn’t breathe._

_“And with Ursa gone, we all have to play our part to take care of the palace without her, hmm?” Ozai continued to stroke Zuko’s cheek. “Isn’t that right, Prince Zuko?”_

_Zuko’s mind blanked. Ozai had never touched him before. Not like this. Never anything other than to beat him._

_“Um, isn’t…isn’t that what servants are for?” he asked._

_Ozai chuckled darkly. “Not everything can be taken care of by servants alone.” His fingers crept down to his shoulder piece. He pulled it off of his son, who couldn’t seem to move. He removed the gauntlets next, followed by his robes._

_With every piece of clothing removed, Zuko found himself freezing up more and more. His muscles were tight. Something was wrong._

_Ozai pulled Zuko’s hair out of its ponytail. The inky strands fell down to his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his son’s hair gently._

_“What pretty hair,” Ozai hissed. “Just as pretty as your mother’s.”_

_Zuko closed his eyes. He tried desperately to imagine his mom’s face. He tried to picture her smile as they sat beside the pond and fed turtleducks. He tried to remember the sound of her laugh._

_Suddenly, Ozai shoved him to the mattress. Zuko jerked his eyes open. He looked up at his father. His yellow eyes were full of malice and something else he couldn’t detect. Something that made his eyes foggy. Glazed over._

_“Father…Father, please stop.” Zuko tried to wriggle out of Ozai’s grasp. However, he simply pinned him down even harder until his back was flat against the mattress. His fingers burned marks into Zuko’s pale arms. He tried his hardest not to cry out._

_“Zuko, do not speak,” Ozai snapped. He used one hand to keep Zuko pinned down. He used the other to tear his tunic off. The cold air sent goosebumps along his skin._

_Zuko bit his lip to stop the cry from escaping. Ozai traced the skin. His fingertips were hot, uncomfortably so. He closed his eyes._

_“No.” Ozai grabbed Zuko’s head and angled it down. “I want you to watch.”_

_Zuko forced his eyes to open. He bit his lip harder._

_Ozai’s nails and scalding fingertips left long, dark marks along his skin. However, Zuko willed himself not to cry out. He bit his lip harder. He could taste blood on his tongue._

_His father’s fingers traced lower and lower, down to his navel. Zuko tried not to move._

_Ozai shoved a hand down Zuko’s pants. Zuko shrieked, and Ozai slapped his hand over the boy’s mouth._

_“Keep your mouth shut!” he hissed. “You wouldn’t want me to gag you, would you?” He let his hand wander father down, tracing the line of his underwear._

_Tears filled Zuko’s eyes, but he didn’t bother blinking them away. Instead, he let them run down his face, streaking his cheeks._

_Ozai took his hand out of Zuko’s pants only to shove them down beneath his knees. Zuko cried out and tried to wriggle out of his father’s grasp._

_“No! Father, please! Please, please, stop!”_

_However, his pleads were ignored. Ozai tore his underwear away, and Zuko tried harder and harder to get away. However, he was instantly stopped with a painful slap._

_“You need to stop moving and stay quiet,” Ozai hissed. “What would the people think if they saw you like this? With your legs spread like the whore you are?”_

_Tears streamed down his cheeks harder. His eyelids were heavy. He wanted to close them, wanted to imagine being anywhere but here. However, he was scared of his father’s wrath. He didn’t want to know what he would do to him if he disobeyed._

_All he could smell was his father’s scent—the strong, sickly smell of citrus and black pepper. It fogged up Zuko’s head. He couldn’t think._

_Zuko cried harder. He didn’t know what was going on. He felt so exposed in front of his father like this, and he hated it. He hated his fingers on him._

_Suddenly, the fingers on his hips entered him._

_Zuko screamed. Louder than ever before. His back arched. Everything hurt. It felt like everything was on fire._

_Ozai grabbed his throat and squeezed. Zuko felt the breath in his lungs get stuck. His lungs burned. His rear burned._

_“Shut the hell up, slut,” Ozai scoffed. “Unless you want me to kill you right here. Is that how you want to go? With my fingers in your ass?”_

_Zuko shook his head. He couldn’t see through the tears. He wanted to scream. He couldn’t breathe._

_Ozai pumped his fingers in and out. Zuko arched his back. Silent screams fell from his bleeding lips._

_He tried to think of his mother, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t mar her memory like that._

_He felt something run down his thighs. He didn’t want to know what it was._

_After several moments, Ozai pulled his fingers out. He let go of Zuko’s throat, and the boy took a deep, shaky breath in._

_Thank Agni, he thought. It’s over. It’s over._

_His blood froze when he felt something blunt at his entrance again._

_Ozai leaned over him. The smell of citrus and black pepper was stronger than before. Zuko tried to get out from underneath him, but he couldn’t move. He was stuck._

_Zuko screamed as Ozai entered him. He thrashed and bawled. He cried out to anyone who was listening. To Azula. The servants. Please, please, Agni, help!_

_“Shut up and take it, whore,” Ozai snapped. “It’s your fault she’s gone anyway.” He pumped in and out, faster and harder than Zuko could handle. The young boy wailed in pain. It felt like he was being torn apart from the inside._

_Ozai’s nails dug into Zuko’s shoulder as he flipped him over onto his knees. Tears soaked his cheeks, but he shoved his face into his pillow to mask them. He was grateful that he didn’t have to watch his father anymore._

_“Please, Father,” Zuko begged. His voice was raw from crying. “Please, stop. Please, I’ll do anything!”_

_“Royalty doesn’t beg,” Ozai deadpanned. He grabbed on his son’s hair and yanked it as he went faster, and Zuko screamed._

_It seemed to go on forever._

_Just as Zuko was about to pass out from the pain, he felt something release inside him. Ozai made a strange noise before pulling out of him._

_Liquid dripped down Zuko’s thighs. He buried his face in the pillow harder._

_Ozai grabbed Zuko by the hair and pulled him up to look into his eyes._

_“I don’t want you telling anyone about this,” he said. “This is our secret. If anyone finds out, I will not hesitate to kill you on the spot. Do you understand?”_

_Zuko nodded. Tears leaked from his eyes, and snot ran from his nose. There was something dripping out of him. He felt so, so disgusting._

_Ozai let go of his son’s hair and pulled his own pants back up before leaving the room._

_Zuko laid there for several minutes. The robes and ripped tunic were uncomfortable under his back. Part of him wished that his father had at least thrown them to the floor with the shoulder piece and gauntlets. The other part of him was grateful for the extra layers to hide in._

_When he knew Ozai wouldn’t come back, he reached down beneath his comforter to wipe at his inner thighs. He lifted his hand back up to inspect it._

_Blood._

_Zuko gasped. His hands were shaking._

_He saw something else on his fingertips. He didn’t recognize it. It was white._

_White mixed with red._

_He gagged. His fingers were slimy. He wiped them on the sheets._

_Against his better judgment, he pulled the covers away and looked down._

_There was blood pooling out of him. Blood mixed with the other substance, the white one. It was soaking through his ripped tunic. His robes. His pants._

_His pure white clothes were stained red._

* * *

Katara woke up to the sound of hushed whines. The room was dark, but she could feel her boyfriend’s head on her shoulder. She flipped over and began running her fingers through his hair to calm him down.

This time, it only made it worse.

Zuko cowered away from her touch almost immediately. His whimpers turned to sobs. Katara removed her hands immediately.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he cried. “Please, stop! I don’t want this!”

She watched as he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. She wanted to hug his pain away, but she didn’t want to make things worse.

“Zuko?” she whispered. “Zuko, it’s just me. It’s Katara. Everything’s going to be alright. We’re in your room, and I’m with you. Nothing can hurt you.”

He cried harder, curling in on himself. She watched as his sobs grew louder. He shook like a leaf, and he wriggled like he was trying to get away from something.

“Hey, it’s okay, Zuko,” Katara soothed. “Everything’s okay. I’m here. I’m with you.”

She could see him grabbing the blanket in clenched fists. His white-knuckled grip was strong enough to tear it.

“Father, stop! Stop!” he screamed. “Get off me!”

She felt a wave of nausea wash over her.

“Zuko!” she shouted. She grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him. “Zuko, wake up!” She knew this wasn’t the best method, but she also knew that he wouldn’t want anyone to hear him screaming. If she had to shake him awake, then so be it.

He screamed louder and trembled under her touch. She immediately let go of his shoulders, moving to his arms instead. “Come on, Zuko! You’ve got to wake up!”

She heard heavy footsteps outside the door and prayed to the spirits they’d go away.

The door swung open. Sokka ran through the doorway, and Toph followed in after him.

“Katara? What’s going on?” Sokka shouted.

“I can’t get Zuko awake,” she said. She saw Sokka’s eyes widen upon seeing the fear in her own eyes.

“Move over,” he said. He sat on the bed beside Zuko, and almost immediately after touching him, Zuko shrieked as though he’d been burned. Sokka tore his hands off him without a second thought.

“Let me try,” Toph said. She shoved the other two out of the way and ignored Zuko’s sobs as she laid down next to him. She curled her arms up in front of her and pressed herself to his bare chest.

Katara watched as Toph cuddled up next to him, making herself as small as possible. She knew the earthbender wasn’t a cuddler by any stretch of the imagination, so watching her resort to this made her jaw drop.

“Hey, Sparky,” she said. “It’s Toph.” She leaned in closer, whispering something that the other two couldn’t hear. Zuko seemed to relax with her touch.

Katara watched as Zuko’s arms wrapped around the young girl. He hugged her tightly, and his breathing started to slow. She saw his tears fall down his face, and she lifted a hand to wipe them away. She thanked the spirits that he didn’t cry out.

Zuko’s eyes were open, and Katara knew he was awake. His breathing was still a little heavy, and his eyes were fogged over. But he was awake. That was what mattered.

“How did that work?” Katara asked. “He didn’t react well to Sokka and me touching him.”

“I’m smaller than you two,” Toph said.

“Zuko, how are you feeling, buddy?” Sokka asked. He laid his hand on Zuko’s kneecap, which was barely covered by the covers he’d mostly kicked off.

“I…I don’t know,” he admitted. His throat was raw. Katara wanted to kiss his pain away.

Toph wriggled out of his arms, and Zuko immediately broke the embrace. He whispered a small “thanks” to the girl, who nodded in return.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” he said to the group. “I didn’t mean to be so loud.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sokka said with a shrug. “Are you feeling better now?” Zuko nodded. “Okay, good. Then…I guess we’ll see you in the morning.”

He nodded again. “Okay, good night then.”

Sokka held the door open for Toph, who gave the firebender one last look before following Sokka through the doorway.

Katara and Zuko sat in silence. She stared at his features. He looked so weak. She wanted to hug him.

“Zuko?” she asked slowly. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head.

“Oh…okay.” She noticed that he was staring at his lap, and his hands were clasped together tightly. She reached over to his lap to hold one of his hands. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“No, not yet,” he said. “I don’t want to wake them up again.”

“Zuko, don’t worry about it. No one is mad at you. We just want you to be okay.”

He didn’t respond.

Katara leaned over and stroked his hair. She ran her fingers through his raven locks, all the way up to his scalp. When she reached the top, she gently scratched his scalp. Zuko tilted his head back, silently accepting the physical affection.

“I can hold you if you want,” she offered. “Do you want to be the little spoon?”

He nodded.

“Okay, come lay down.”

Zuko laid down on his side, and Katara leaned over to cuddle beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. She couldn’t see his face, but his voice sounded watery.

“There’s no need to apologize,” she said. “I love you, and I’ll always be there for you. No matter what.”

Zuko nodded.

They fell asleep shortly after that, with her arms around him and her face buried in his hair.

* * *

_Iroh used his chopsticks to move the white rice around his plate. The table felt strange without Azulon there, without Ursa. It was oddly quiet, and the silence was uncomfortable._

_The seat next to Azula was empty. Zuko’s seat._

_“Fire Lord Ozai,” Iroh said. It felt weird to use that title for his younger brother’s name. “May I ask where Prince Zuko is this morning?”_

_“Where he is is none of my concern,” Ozai said stiffly. He took another bite of his breakfast._

_“It’s unlike him to miss a meal,” Iroh countered._

_“He will pay for it later during his firebending lessons,” Ozai said. Iroh nodded. He could tell that Ozai was done with the conversation, and he didn’t want to push him._

_Azula was oddly quiet too. Her eyes faced her plate, refusing to look up. She ate silently and quicker than usual._

_Iroh’s gut twisted. Something must’ve happened last night during his walk around the city. Something bad._

_After breakfast, he headed to the opposite side of the palace. He tried not to worry as he passed by the different rooms. It was going to be okay. It had to be._

_When he reached Zuko’s bedroom, he knocked quietly a few times._

_There was no answer._

_Iroh pushed the door open slowly._

_The room was dark. The only light came from the window. He could just barely make out the little lump buried under the blankets on the bed._

_Iroh paused when he saw the gauntlets and shoulder piece thrown haphazardly on the floor. Zuko never left clothes on the floor._

_“Prince Zuko?” Iroh whispered. “Prince Zuko, is everything alright?”_

_He froze when he heard the quiet whimpers come from the little figure from the bed. He waited a few seconds before inching closer and closer to the bed. There was a strong smell of musk coming from the sheets._

_Zuko’s hair was ripped from its ponytail. The strands laid against the pillow._

_Iroh noticed he wasn’t wearing a tunic. Zuko always wore a tunic to bed. His skin was pale against the red of the covers._

_Then, he noticed them._

_The bruises along his shoulders._

_“Nephew…” Iroh reached out to touch the young boy’s shoulder._

_As soon as his fingertips touched the skin, Zuko shrieked._

_He tore himself up, scooting away from the older man._

_“Don’t touch me!” he screamed. “Don’t touch me! Leave me alone!”_

_Iroh’s eyes dipped down. Zuko’s neck had two large bruises imprinted on it, both in the shape of handprints._

_“I’m not going to hurt you,” Iroh said. “I want to help you.”_

_“No! Stay away from me!” His eyes were red-rimmed, full of tears. His whimpers increased until they turned to loud bawls. He sobbed loudly, curling into himself. “Please, stop,” he begged. “I-I can’t…”_

_Iroh reached over to stroke his nephew’s hair back, but Zuko cried even harder, shrinking away from the man’s touch._

_He retracted his hand immediately._

_He couldn’t leave him here. He couldn’t leave this boy alone and hurting._

_But he didn’t know how to help him._

_He didn’t know what was wrong._

_Iroh took several steps back before sitting on the floor._

_“Nephew, I’m going to stay here,” he said quietly, just loud enough for Zuko to hear over his cries. “I won’t touch you. Not from all the way over here.” He put enough distance between the two to let the younger boy feel safe. He hoped it would help._

_He stayed quiet, stayed far away as he let Zuko cry to himself. He sobbed until he had no more tears left._

_“Can I come closer, Prince Zuko?” Iroh asked hesitantly. After a few moments, Zuko nodded. Iroh approached the younger boy slowly and knelt beside his bed. “Is everything okay, nephew?”_

_His eyes were red from crying. His bottom lip was bloody. His hair was a mess._

_“I…I don’t…” He closed his eyes and pulled his comforter up closer to him. Iroh watched as Zuko’s eyes squeezed shut painfully. He wanted to hold the poor boy, to give him a hug, anything._

_“What happened?”_

_Zuko was silent for several moments. Just when Iroh didn’t think he’d respond, Zuko let out a small whisper. “I…I can’t tell you.”_

_“And why is that, nephew?” Iroh asked carefully._

_“I’m not supposed…I…I can’t…” Tears welled up in his eyes again, and Iroh sighed._

_“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”_

_“No!” Zuko shouted. “I-I can’t!”_

_“Why not?”_

_However, Zuko didn’t answer. He pulled his comforter up as high as he could and buried his face in it. Iroh could hear the young boy sob into his blanket, but he let him cry. There was nothing else he could do._

_However, as Zuko pulled up the comforter, Iroh noticed something peeking out from the bottom of the bed. He reached down to pull on it and gasped when he discovered what it was._

_Zuko’s funeral robes. Covered in blood._

_Iroh’s eyes widened, and he looked back to Zuko._

_“Zuko, are you hurt?” Iroh asked. The boy nodded. “Do…do you have clothes on?” Zuko sobbed harder. Iroh took that as a ‘no.’_

_“I’m going to leave for a moment,” Iroh said. “You can get some clothes on and head to the shower, okay, Prince Zuko?”_

_“N-no,” he sobbed. “It hurts.”_

_“What hurts?”_

_“Everything.”_

_Iroh sighed._

_“Can you walk?”_

_“It-it hurts to…to move,” Zuko said between tears._

_“Do you need help moving?”_

_Zuko shook his head. “I don’t want…I…”_

_His tears fell harder. Iroh didn’t know what to do._

_“Okay, you don’t have to get up right now,” he said. “But do you at least want to get some clothes on?”_

_The young boy hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly. “Y-yeah…I can try.”_

_“Okay, I’ll leave for a moment,” Iroh said. “Just let me know when you’re ready.” He stood up. His knees hurt from kneeling on the floor, but he ignored it. He walked to the door and shut it behind him._

_As he waited outside Zuko’s door, he felt nausea creep up the back of his throat. Something was seriously wrong. He hadn’t been home more than a week since returning from the siege of Ba Sing Se, but it didn’t take a scientist to determine this wasn’t a daily occurrence._

_After a few minutes, he heard a small noise come from the bedroom. Iroh knocked on the door gently and waited a few moments before pushing it open._

_Zuko was on the bed. Dark circles lined the bottom of his red-rimmed eyes, and he was huddled in on himself. He looked so small._

_His stained funeral robes were tossed to the floor in a pile. It made Iroh’s stomach twist up, but he tried to ignore it._

_“Do you feel a little better, nephew?” he asked hopefully. But Zuko just shook his head._

_Iroh watched as Zuko laid on the bed, trying to bury his face deeper into the comforter. It was then that he noticed the stains on the blanket and the sheets._

_There was dried blood, but there was also something else. It was colorless, staining the sheets darker but not in any particular color._

_Iroh’s eyes widened in shock. Against his will, he let out a gasp._

_No._

_No, no, no, Agni, tell me this is a sick joke._

_He backed up, hitting the door behind him. He felt himself grab the knob. He needed to tell someone. He needed to get the physician. He needed to get someone to help him._

_“No, wait!” Zuko jerked upright and hissed immediately. “Uncle, no! Stop!” Despite the pain, he flung the covers off the bed and scooted off. He screamed, and his knees buckled._

_“Nephew, stay there,” Iroh said. “I’m going to get you some help.”_

_“No!” He tried to rush over to his uncle, but he could barely move. He limped slowly, squeezing his eyelids shut to hold back his tears. “Please, don’t tell him, Uncle!” he begged. “Please, don’t tell him you know!”_

_“But nephew…”_

_“He’s going to punish me if anyone finds out,” he sobbed. “Please, keep this between us.”_

_Iroh watched the boy, looking into each individual facial feature. He needed help, but Iroh couldn’t lose his trust either._

_After a few moments, he nodded stiffly. “If that’s what you want, nephew.”_

_Zuko cried harder. He fell to the floor on his knees. Iroh could barely make out the tearful words of thanksgiving, the emotional “thank you’s.”_

_The old man felt sick. He wanted to choke Ozai to death, to burn his throat closed until he could no longer breathe. But he couldn’t. Not without keeping his promise to Zuko._

_He sat with him for the rest of the day and through the night._

_Zuko didn’t leave his bed for six days._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's getting super dark. I'm sorry for anyone who doesn't like this kind of writing. 
> 
> Things are going to get better for Zuko, so don't worry! It might just take a few chapters to get there though.
> 
> I hope you have an amazing day, and good luck to anyone else finishing up their last bit of the semester (whether that's college, high school, trade school, et cetera). :)


	19. Hiding from the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Zuko's nightmare, Katara spends the morning with him, trying to figure out what happened.

Katara woke up several times throughout the night. She was never met with screaming or limbs jerking in a fit of fear. Instead, this was of her own accord.

There was something about Zuko’s last nightmare that made her more nervous than usual. His reaction was different. He typically didn’t mind her hands on him, never freaked out like he did during his latest dream.

She didn’t know what was wrong, but she knew better than to push. However, her own nerves meant that she could do little to relax, and she was subjected to waking up every thirty minutes to check on him.

Katara groaned and flipped over to the side. She looked over at Zuko’s face. His eyes were shut, and his lips were parted slightly. He looked peaceful.

She smiled. She reached up to pet his hair gently. It was getting so long now. It had already reached the tops of his shoulders. It made her smile.

He wriggled slightly. He scrunched up his nose and squeezed his eyes shut a little. Katara leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose, and he immediately relaxed.

Katara bit her bottom lip, feeling the slight tug between her teeth. She hoped she was wrong. She hoped the deep gut feeling in her stomach was nothing more than a bad meal or cramps.

But she knew better than that.

* * *

That morning, Katara woke up to find herself oddly cold. She turned her head and stretched her arm out to touch Zuko and warm herself up. However, her fingers touched bare sheets.

She craned her neck up and blinked a few times. Her vision focused, and she saw that Zuko wasn’t next to her.

She kicked the comforter off her and slid off the bed. The room was cold. The bedroom door was shut.

Katara grabbed one of Zuko’s tunics from the wardrobe and slipped it over her shoulders. Tank tops were typically good for the Fire Nation’s warm weather, but she knew it was unprofessional for her new role as ambassador and the Fire Lord’s girlfriend.

She pushed the door open and trailed down the hallway. Through the windows, she could see the sun was already up. Zuko must’ve finished meditating at this point, but she wondered why he didn’t come back to the bed to lay with her. He was always cuddly in the mornings.

She took a sharp turn and found herself walking outside. She saw the figure before he saw her. Long, raven hair hid his face, but she knew it was him.

Katara walked over to him, to the tree he liked to sit under. She made sure to sit on his right side so that he could see and hear her.

“Hey, Zuko,” she said softly. He turned his eyes to look at her, and she immediately noticed the gaunt look on his face. His eyes looked hollow. She inched her hand over to him before slowly dropping it on his clothed kneecap. His muscles felt tight. “Is everything okay?”

He nodded wordlessly, turning back to face the pond. He scattered some rice and seeds in front of him, watching as three of the turtleducks waddled up to him. They scooped some of the food into their beaks and chirped happily. Zuko gave a tight smile.

“Zuko…” Katara moved her hand up to his shoulder. The muscles on his back were tenser than she thought they’d be. She wanted to rub the tightness out, but she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries either.

“I’m okay,” he said. However, she could tell he was lying. “Really, Kat, I am.”

“Zuko, how am I supposed to help you if you aren’t honest with me?” She saw his eyes divert down to his lap. She sighed. She scooted over until she sat beside him. She stuck her fingers into his hair and ran them down the strands, sending little chills down his neck. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” she said. She kept brushing his hair with her fingers. “But I’d rather you tell me that instead.”

He nodded. “Okay, I will.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded again.

“Do you want to go inside?”

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Do you want me to stay with you then?”

“Yeah.” He turned his head back to look at her. “I’d like that.”

Katara smiled. She gathered his hair up and pushed it to his right side. She kissed the area of his exposed skin directly between his shoulder and neck. He tilted into her kiss a little more, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” she asked. She littered butterfly kisses along the bottom of his scalp. “Or would you rather just sit here? I’m okay with either.”

He shrugged. “I don’t have a preference.”

She wrapped her arms around him from the back. She locked her fingers together directly in front of his belly before hugging him from behind. She pressed her cheek to his back. “Show me how to feed the turtleducks then.”

Zuko smiled and scooted over so that he sat next to Katara instead of in front of her. He scooped some of the rice and seeds from his pocket into her cupped hands. “You can scatter them in front of you. If they trust you enough, they’ll eat from your palms.”

“Do you let them do that?”

“Sometimes,” he answered. He grabbed a small handful for himself and sprinkled them in front of him. The other turtleducks in the pond joined the three on the land. They happily munched on the food in front of them. Zuko stuck out his hand and gently brushed two fingers over one of the turtleduck’s heads. It chirped, and Zuko smiled. He continued to pet the little animal, unaware that Katara was watching him.

“Are they your favorite animals?” she asked, noting how gentle he was as he played with them.

Zuko nodded. “My mom and I used to sit out here together all the time,” he said. His gaze suddenly became unfocused. “Before she left.”

“What happened to her?” Katara rested her head on Zuko’s shoulder. One of the turtleducks nudged her leg as he ate some of the seeds and rice in front of her.

“She was banished,” he answered stiffly.

Katara’s eyebrows fell. She reached her hand over to rub his back, just like she wanted to before. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “She’s happier now.” He dropped his hand from the turtleduck’s head. He nudged his hand unhappily, begging to be pet again. “You saw her when we first found her.”

“Why was she banished?” She didn’t mean to pry, but maybe if she knew, she could figure out what had Zuko so upset.

“After Father wanted Uncle’s birthright, Azulon was furious. He said that Uncle just lost his son, and my father needed to suffer the same for even entertaining the idea.” Zuko pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them. “Mom made a poison to kill Azulon. His life in exchange for mine. Father forced her out of the palace after that, since he didn’t need the risk of her killing him too.”

Katara wrapped her arms completely around Zuko, embracing him tightly. “Don’t blame yourself for her disappearance,” she said. “It wasn’t your fault. It was Ozai’s. No one else’s.” She knew how his mind worked. She knew he would be quick to blame himself, surely due to his upbringing.

“If I hadn’t—”

“If _Ozai_ hadn’t brought up the idea immediately after Uncle Iroh lost his son, then Azulon wouldn’t have asked for that,” she interrupted. “Don’t put the blame on yourself. It isn’t your fault. Do you understand me?”

He nodded.

“I want to hear you say it.” She nudged his leg.

“It isn’t my fault,” he repeated. He closed his eyes, as if he were trying to take it in.

Katara kissed his cheek. “It isn’t. I want you to remember that. None of this was your fault.”

He nodded. As Katara broke the embrace, he brought his knees down. He picked up one of the turtleducks and placed it in his lap. The animal chirped and nuzzled into the silky, red fabric of his pants. 

“Are you going to see her soon?” Katara asked.

“Yeah, in a few weeks,” Zuko said. “She’ll be staying for a little bit.”

“Hopefully, she’ll bring the others.” She smiled. “You know we love Kiyi.”

Zuko smiled to himself. “Yeah, me too. I miss her.”

Katara nudged his bicep. “You just like the chance to be a big brother to someone who isn’t ruthless like Azula.” She rubbed his arm. “That’s why you’re so close to Toph.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He ran his fingers through his hair. Katara watched as the strands fell back down to his neck. He looked up to the sky, noting the sun’s location. “We should probably go inside. The others will be up soon.”

“I mean, Sokka and Toph will probably still be asleep after last night,” Katara said. However, immediately after she spoke, she regretted the words. “Zuko, I didn’t mean it like that. I-I just meant that they're probably sleeping in, and I—”

“It’s okay,” he said. He moved the turtleduck off his lap and stood up. He offered his hand to her.

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry,” she said, accepting his hand. He helped to pull her up. “That came out wrong.”

“It’s alright, really.” He kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about it.”

* * *

It really wasn’t alright, but Zuko was too stubborn to admit it.

After Team Avatar had their meeting with six other leaders from the other nations, Zuko locked himself in his office. He knew he could pretend to be busy there, and no one would bother him.

He sunk to the floor and brought his knees up. He knotted his fingers in his hair, resting his elbows on his knees. He closed his eyes.

_You woke up Toph and Sokka. They couldn’t sleep because of you. Because of your screams._

_All because you can’t handle a single dream._

_Agni, you’re pathetic._

Zuko felt a wave of nausea, and he tried to swallow it back.

He hadn’t had one of those nightmares in a while, not like that.

Usually, he found himself waking up before it got too graphic, whether due to his own hand or Katara’s. This time was different. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t seem to escape. He felt trapped. Trapped underneath Ozai’s heavy weight and smell of citrus and black pepper.

He dug his fingernails into the skin on his scalp. His hands were shaking, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He simply buried his fingers deeper into his hair.

However, the feeling of hands in his hair—Ozai’s hands—came back. He could feel his fingers, his rough grasp, as he yanked on the strands. His scalp would ache for days afterward.

The nausea came back full force. Zuko grabbed the wastebasket beside the desk and threw up in it.

_You’re disgusting._

_Sick freak._

He stayed where he was, hovered over the trash can even after there was nothing left in his stomach, just dry heaving and sobbing. Tears ran down his cheeks. His throat burned. Everything hurt.

_Agni, what is wrong with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wasn't sure how to write this chapter after the last one. It took a little bit of brainstorming, but I hope you all liked it! 
> 
> I finished two of my finals today! The middle of the week should be relatively relaxed before I have more finals on Thursday and Friday, so hopefully, I'll pump out another chapter or two then.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you again for all the comments and kudos! :)


	20. Dissociating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to free himself of his thoughts, Zuko winds up slipping into dissociation instead.

Zuko knew he couldn’t hide from his friends. Not for long, anyway. Not after last night.

He was in his bedroom, the covers pulled up to his ears. He would’ve stayed in his office until they forgot about his nightmare, but he knew that was highly unlikely. It was only a matter of time before they broke the door down themselves—whether through Katara freezing the lock or Toph metalbending a key.

The taste of bile was still in his mouth, and he wanted to gag. He wished he grabbed water before getting into bed, but he couldn’t find it in him to get up now.

Since his nightmare last night, Zuko couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Everything he saw gave him a flashback, and he was trying his hardest not to dissociate. Agni knows that would just make Katara more if she saw him that way.

His hair was wet. He’d taken a shower before getting into bed, but it hadn’t done him any good. He still felt disgusting. He could still feel hands on him, feel the blood running down his thighs, feel rough hands in his hair and on his skin. He wanted to throw up. He had scrubbed his skin until it turned red and burned under the water, but it hadn’t mattered.

Wrapping the comforter around him tighter, he wished that Katara were with him. He wanted to feel her chest on his back and her arms around him as she cuddled him from behind. He wanted to feel her lips on his skin and her hair tickle his neck. He wanted to feel the safety and comfort that only she could provide.

But he didn’t want to scare her. He didn’t want to open up, couldn’t tell her what happened. Not yet.

His breath hitched in his throat as he heard the sound of footsteps creep towards his bedroom. He stilled, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. As the sound of footsteps grew closer, he found himself panicking more and more.

 _They’re too heavy to be Katara’s._

_Someone is coming._

_They’re coming to hurt you, just like always._

He wrapped the thick blanket around him even tighter and buried himself in it.

 _You know what they’re here for._

_They want to spread your legs like the filthy whore you are._

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut tightly. The harder he tried to imagine being anywhere but here, the more he pictured himself in his old bedroom. The one with the high ceiling that he would stare out for hours as he checked out mentally.

_The footsteps grew closer. Zuko stilled. The door pushed open before immediately closing. The footsteps inched closer and closer until he felt the bed shift. The mattress creaked._

_Fingertips brushed his cheek, running down to his neck and shoulders. He tensed. They trailed down further and further._

_He squeezed his eyes shut._

_He couldn’t do this._

_“Zuko, look at me.”_

_No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to watch. Feeling was bad enough._

_“Zuko, come on. Open your eyes.”_

_No, no, no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this._

“Come on, Zuko. Can you please look at me?”

Zuko stilled. _Wait, this is real._

“I’m not going to hurt you. Come on, buddy.”

_Sokka._

He opened his eyes, grateful that they were bright blue instead of chilling yellow. Sokka smiled at him gently. He was sitting on the mattress, but thankfully, he was a safe distance away. Zuko didn’t want to know what would happen if he were closer. 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked. “You looked really sick earlier when you came out of your office.”

Zuko pushed himself up with his hands. His limbs felt weak, and he almost collapsed. “Yeah…yeah, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” Sokka said. “I can get Katara in here to heal you if you want.”

“No, don’t-don’t worry about it,” Zuko said as he shook his head. He brought his hand up to wipe his face and was startled to find it was slightly wet. _Is that from sweat or tears?_

Sokka watched him, his blue eyes full of concern. Zuko didn’t know how to react, so he stayed silent.

After several moments, Sokka sighed. “Zuko, was everything okay last night?”

 _Damn._

“You were screaming louder than usual, and you wouldn’t let anyone but Toph touch you.”

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said on impulse.

“No, you don’t have to apologize,” Sokka said quickly. “We’re just worried about you.”

“I know.” Zuko resisted the urge to divert his gaze. “I don’t mean to worry anyone.”

Sokka rested his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. The older boy tensed underneath the touch, and he immediately berated himself mentally for it.

“You can talk to us about it,” he said. “We might not really understand, but we still want to help you.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay…thanks, Sokka.”

Sokka grinned, showing his teeth. “Come on, Zuko. Everyone’s in the mess hall right now. We’re about to eat dinner. Do you want to join us?”

He shook his head. “I’m not really hungry.”

“You can still join us.”

“I’d honestly rather stay here. I’m not really in the mood for any sort of excitement.”

Sokka shrugged. “Suit yourself. But if you change your mind, you know where we are.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” He stood up and walked out of the room, barely glancing behind him before shutting the door behind him.

Zuko immediately pulled the covers over his head, internally groaning. He loved his friends, but he hated the idea that he was worrying them. That he was responsible for their lack of sleep.

 _You’re making their lives miserable. They don’t want to take care of you every second of the day just because you’re being moody. You’re just being a burden like usual._

He closed his eyes.

He didn’t want to deal with this right now.

 _You remember what Father said about you, right? That you were a worthless son. A waste of space. Nothing more than a body to screw. But you wouldn’t want that to get out, would you, Zuko?_

_Stop it._

_Come on, you know you enjoyed it. At least a little bit._

_No, I didn’t. Stop._

He could feel the hands on him again. He wanted to scream into his pillow.

_Come on, Zuko. Just admit it._

_No. I didn’t like it. I hated it._

_You keep telling yourself that. After all, that’s what you want yourself to believe. It’s too shameful otherwise._

_No. It hurt. I didn’t like it at all._

_You’re a whore, Zuko. Dirty sluts like you like getting screwed._

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

_No, no, no, no, no! Stop this!_

* * *

_“Zuko?”_

_“Zuko?”_

_“Zuko, my love, can you hear me?”_

_He turned his head up to see a woman standing in front of him. She had brown hair, so dark that it was almost black. She had soft eyes. Golden, like his. She looked kind._

_“Mom?”_

_“Come on,” she said. She reached her hand out. “Ozai’s busy today. Come sit with me.”_

_He nodded and grabbed her outstretched hand. Her skin was soft._

_He followed her through several hallways, all cloaked in different shades of red, black, and gold. Lanterns lit the way, their flames burning brightly along the corridors. She led him to a beautiful garden. Lined with a stone fence and filled with towering trees, the area was gorgeous. Peaceful._

_She sat down underneath one of the trees. He took a seat beside her. She wrapped an arm around him, pulling her towards him._

_“Do you want to feed the turtleducks?” She motioned to the pond in front of them. Several turtleducks were swimming around, playfully splashing in the clear, aquamarine waters. “I brought some bread.”_

_Zuko nodded. The woman smiled. She pulled a piece of bread from one of the pockets in her dress and ripped it in half, giving one to her son._

_“Make sure to tear it into small chunks,” she said. “You don’t want them to choke.”_

_“I will.” He ripped a little piece of his half of the bread and gently tossed it to one of the turtleducks. It caught the food in its little beak and ate it chipperly. Upon seeing their friend with food, several turtleducks looked towards Zuko in curiosity._

_“Zuko?”_

_“Mom?”_

_“Yes, darling?”_

_“Did…" He froze. "Didn’t you call my name? Just now?”_

_“No,” she said. She knitted her eyebrows in confusion. “I didn’t say anything.”_

_“Oh…okay.” He looked out into the pond. “It must’ve been my imagination then.”_

_The woman nodded. She tosses a chunk of her own bread to one of the turtleducks. He snapped at it and caught it in his beak._

_“Zuko, can you hear me?”_

_He looked around. There was a voice somewhere. He could hear it. But there was no one else around. The only two people in the garden were him and the woman._

_Zuko cuddled closer to her. He pushed his face into her chest, dropping his bread in the process._

_“Zuko, what’s wrong?” she asked. She touched his hair softly, smoothing out the strands of his ponytail that had fallen out._

_“Zuko, baby, talk to me.”_

_Tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m hearing things,” he whispered. “I’m hearing people call out to me. There’s no one there, Mom. There’s no one there. Why am I hearing things?”_

_She cuddled him closer, wrapping her arms tightly around him and burying him in her large, billowing sleeves. “I’m sorry you’re scared. I’ll protect you.”_

_“Please, Zuko.”_

_He shut his eyes tighter and pushed his face deeper into her chest. He tried to ignore the voice._

_“You’re safe with me.”_

_No, he wasn’t. He was safe with his mom, with the turtleducks, with the garden. He didn’t know where the voice was coming from, but he wanted it to stop._

_The woman peeled the hair tie out of his hair, letting the dark strands fall down to his shoulders. She ran her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp where the ponytail was. Zuko relaxed into her touch._

_“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”_

_They stayed like that for a long time. He lost track of how long they sat like that. He almost fell asleep, curled up on her chest as she massaged his scalp with her soft, pale fingers._

_Suddenly, he felt something cold touch him._

_So cold it burned._

_He reached down. There was something on his arms._

_He rubbed at the skin. It wouldn’t move. The cold remained._

“Zuko, can you hear me?”

_Everything was so cold._

“He’s coming back!”

_“Mom? Mom! Please, don’t leave me!”_

“Zuko, it’s alright. You’re safe, baby. It’s okay.”

His vision was blurry, but he tried to focus. There were figures in front of him. He couldn’t make out who they were.

“Take a deep breath. You’re in your room. It’s okay. Nothing can hurt you.”

His arms were cold and wet. He looked down. Someone was holding a chunk of ice to his forearm.

He tried to swipe it away.

“You can let go. He’s coming back.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, if we need it again, we’ll do it. But right now, he should be okay.”

Zuko blinked and looked back up to the figures in front of him. A girl and a man. The girl had sapphire eyes and pretty hair.

“Kat?” His voice was hoarse.

“Zuko!” She squeezed his hand tightly. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

The other figure leaned forward. “Nephew, how are you feeling?”

He blinked again. “Uncle? Is that…”

The man smiled. Iroh.

“It’s me, nephew.” He brought his hand up to his shoulder and rubbed it carefully.

“What…what hap…” His voice felt raw. It hurt to talk.

“You were dissociating,” Iroh said. “Katara found you staring at the wall with unmoving eyes.”

“You were completely motionless,” she said. “You weren’t responding or moving.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, nephew. We want to help you.” Iroh pulled a rag from beside him to wipe Zuko’s face. The teenager didn’t know where he’d gotten it from, but he didn’t have it in him to question it either. “What do you remember?”

_What do you remember?_

He honestly didn’t know. He remembered seeing his mother, feeding turtleducks, staring at the pond. But that felt like a dream.

“Sokka?”

“Baby, that was an hour ago,” Katara said. Her sapphire eyes were watery. Zuko hated himself for making her cry.

“Zuko, we’re going to get you help,” Iroh said. “I’ve been writing to people all over the world. I’ve finally found someone who’s gone through what you have. They’ll be here in a few weeks, okay?”

Zuko nodded, but his uncle’s words weren’t registering. He was so tired.

“Katara, can you stay with him for a little bit? I'll be right back.”

“Yeah, I can.”

Iroh nodded and walked to the doorway without another word. However, Zuko could barely focus on it.

“How are you feeling?” Katara asked.

“Tired,” Zuko said. “I’m so tired.”

“You really scared me,” she said. She crawled into the bed beside him, pushing her face against his neck. “You weren’t responding, and the way you were staring off into space…” She clutched at his skin a little tighter. “I was so afraid of losing you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. But we’re going to help you, okay? We’re going to take care of all this. You’re going to be okay. I just know it.”

Zuko wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or herself.

He tried to shift, lacing his arms around her. He just wanted to cuddle and fall asleep on her chest. It sounded heavenly right now.

“Can I fall asleep?” he whispered, fighting the weights on his eyelids.

“Not yet. Uncle Iroh’s coming back.”

Zuko groaned and squeezed her tighter.

“Just be patient. He’ll be back soon.”

He nodded, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from falling shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I like it, but it feels hollow as well. I didn't want to make it super long though, so I'm thinking it'll kick up in the next chapter instead.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it and that I tugged on your heartstrings just enough. :)


	21. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iroh and Katara have another conversation about Zuko.

Katara held him, watching as he slipped into sleep. She knew she shouldn’t let him rest, not when Iroh was coming back and when she knew he wanted to talk to him. But he looked so tired. She couldn’t refuse him.

She moved his body so that his head was more comfortable on her chest as she scooted up to sit instead of lay on the bed. He didn’t even flinch.

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. When she saw him earlier, laying on his bed like that, she panicked. She didn’t know what to do. All she knew was that he skipped dinner, and she wanted to make sure he was alright.

_“I’m just going to go check on him,” she told the others._

_“He didn’t look good earlier,” Sokka said. He swiped the last dumpling off Toph’s plate and popped it in his mouth. “He might be sick.”_

_Katara nodded. “I’ll bring some water then.” She grabbed her cup, which was still full, off the table. “Just in case he needs me to heal him.”_

_“Good idea, Sugar Queen,” Toph said. She punched Sokka in the arm for stealing her food, but she ignored him otherwise. “Tell him I said I hope he feels better.”_

_“Same here!” Aang said._

_“Ditto.”_

_“Will do,” Katara said. With the cup of water in her hand, she left the dining hall and walked to Zuko’s bedroom. The door was shut. She knocked thrice and waited for a response. She was met with silence._

_Pushing the door open slightly, she saw that Zuko was laying in his bed. His comforter was pulled up as high as it would go. It covered his head, and only a small tuft of black hair peeked through the top._

_Katara walked over to him, putting the water on his dresser. She knelt down beside him. The floor was cold and seeped through her kneecaps, even through the layers of fabric._

_“Zuko?” she asked. She gently pulled the covers down to expose his face. However, she immediately gasped at the sight and fell back in shock._

_His eyes were open. Unblinking. A look of numbness painted his face. Frightening._

_“Zuko, can you hear me?” Katara asked. Her heart raced. Zuko didn’t move. He just stared, watching without focusing. “Zuko, baby, talk to me.”_

_She touched his arm and tried to shake him gently. He didn’t even flinch. He just continued to stare, his eyes unmoving._

_“Please, Zuko,” Katara cried. She ignored her panic as she shifted him a little more. “You’re safe with me.”_

_She didn’t know what to do._

_Without thinking, she stood up, racing through the palace hallways. She didn’t know where she was going, but it seemed her legs did._

_She pushed the door open, not bothering to knock. The figure at the desk was smiling from ear-to-ear. Holding a letter. It looked like he’d gotten good news._

_“Uncle Iroh! Please! You’ve got to help me! It’s Zuko!” The words rushed out of her before she had a chance to think._

_Iroh’s grin fell immediately. He stood up, his eyes wide with panic. “Take me to him.” Katara nodded, and Iroh followed her out of the room without hesitation._

_It didn’t take long before she was back in Zuko’s room, pushing the door open and kneeling beside his bed._

_“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she cried. “He’s not moving. He’s not responding to anything.”_

_“He’s dissociating,” Iroh said. “He hasn’t done this in a little while, but it used to happen all the time when he was younger.” He tore his eyes off his nephew to look at Katara. “You tried to pull him out of it?”_

_She nodded, tears falling down her face. Her hands shook. “Yeah, I-I did that.”_

_Iroh noticed the cup of water on the nightstand. Katara saw a thought come to him._

_“I need you to freeze a piece of ice,” he said. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’ll work. You need to trust me.”_

_She nodded. “I do trust you.” She reached out to bend some of the water out of the cup and towards her instead. As she gathered it in her hand, she froze it into a small ball._

_“Put it on his skin,” Iroh said. He pulled the comforter back farther to reveal more of his nephew’s body. He reached out to drag one of his tunic’s sleeves up. “It’ll help to ground him. Bring him back to the present.”_

_“So just put it on him? Like this?” Katara held the ice ball to his arm._

_“Yeah, just like that,” Iroh said._

_They saw something in Zuko’s face shift._

_“Zuko, can you hear me?” Katara asked. She pressed the ice deeper into his skin._

_He grimaced slightly. His eyebrows shifted._

_“He’s coming back!” Iroh said._

_“Zuko, it’s alright,” Katara said. “You’re safe, baby. It’s okay.”_

_“Take a deep breath,” Iroh said. “You’re in your room. It’s okay. Nothing can hurt you.”_

_Zuko’s eyes moved slightly. They looked down at his arm. He weakly tried to bat away Katara’s hand._

_“You can let go,” Iroh said. He placed a hand on Katara’s shoulder. “He’s coming back.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yeah, if we need it again, we’ll do it. But right now, he should be okay.”_

_She pulled the ice off of him and turned it back into liquid before bending it back into the cup. Zuko blinked. As he looked at the two people in front of them, Katara knew he wasn’t just staring—he was seeing._

_“Kat?” His voice was scratchy and rough. However, Katara didn’t seem to care._

_“Zuko!” She squeezed his hand, repressing the urge to embrace him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”_

Katara sighed as she watched him sleep. She moved his hair out of his face just as someone knocked on the door. She looked up to see Iroh, a teapot and some cups in his hands.

“Oh, he’s already asleep?” he asked.

“Yeah, he looked really tired. Should I wake him back up?”

“We can just talk to him later,” Iroh said. He pulled out some loose tea leaves. They were a soft golden-green color. “Chamomile tea helps with anxiety. I mainly brought it for him, but I’m sure you could use some too.”

“That would be great,” Katara said. “Thank you.”

Iroh nodded, putting the tea leaves in the top of the pot and heating up the water via firebending.

“So this…this is normal for him?” she asked.

“Not normal, per se,” Iroh said. “But it used to happen a lot, yes.”

“It doesn’t anymore though?”

“No, nowhere as often.”

“Okay, good,” Katara said, letting out a sigh. “I hated seeing him like that.” She watched as the older man set the cups down closer to the teapot.

“It used to happen a lot after his mother was gone,” Iroh said, “and especially after he was banished.”

“He told me about that,” Katara said.

“Which one?”

“Both.” She looked down at her chest at Zuko’s head. She reached up to stroke his hair. “I had no idea. Sadly, I don’t know which one is more surprising.”

Iroh nodded. “My brother is a cruel man. He’s always been power-hungry, and that’s just what our father expected of us. I wish things could have changed for him.”

“If that’s what Azulon wanted,” Katara asked, looking back up at Iroh, “why didn’t you turn out the same way?”

“Oh, Miss Katara,” Iroh said, a short chuckle rising from his throat. “I was just like him for a while. When I lost my son, it put me on the right track.” Iroh lifted up the teapot and poured some of the hot drink into two of the three cups. “There is always a reason for everything. Nothing is a coincidence, and that’s just how the spirits intended it to be. The cause may not always be good, and the effect might not be either. However, it gives you something to think about.” He handed one of the cups to Katara, who accepted it graciously. “Banishment was the best thing that could’ve happened for Zuko. It got him out of that wicked family, even if it meant that he was homeless. You see, there is so much good in the world, and there is an equal amount of bad. However, we need the bad to see how good things really are. The world needs that balance.”

Katara nodded. “I’ve never thought about it like that. As a child, I’ve always been told there were good and bad people. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen there’s good and bad in everyone.”

“That is correct,” Iroh said. “Yet, it’s all just a matter of what you decide to let shine through. Unfortunately, my brother has chosen the latter.”

“Do you think he’ll change?”

“Anyone can change,” Iroh said, “although it may be especially difficult for him.”

“This is going to sound bad,” Katara said, “but even if Ozai does change, I hope Zuko doesn’t go back to him.” She ran her finger along the rim of the cup. “He’s gone through so much already, and I don’t want any bad memories from the Agni Kai to come up. I'd rather him spend the rest of his life never forgiving him.”

“Ah, so he has told you,” Iroh said, a knowing smile on his face. He took a sip of his tea as Katara gave him a look.

“I told you that.”

“I wasn’t sure how much of it he told you. My nephew is a very private person.”

“I know,” Katara took a sip of her tea. It was warm against her tongue, but she savored the taste. “Sometimes, I wish he wasn’t. We just want to help him, and it makes it hard whenever he struggles to open up. I know it’s not his fault, but I just wish things were different.” She put the cup down on the nightstand. “Last night, he had a really bad nightmare, and he wouldn’t let anyone touch him. After telling me about his banishment, I was hoping he would tell me what happened with his nightmare, but he didn’t.”

“Did he say anything while he was asleep?” Iroh asked.

“Yeah, he was calling out to his dad to stop. I don’t know what for though.”

Iroh exhaled out of his nose sharply. His face looked grim, his eyes dark. Katara didn’t know what emotion was held inside of his irises.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Iroh said. “I don’t think he’ll wake up soon anyway.”

“Do you know what happened?” Katara asked.

“Yes, but it isn’t my place to tell you. It’s no one’s place but Zuko’s. But if this happens again, don’t touch him. Just try to talk him out of it.”

Katara nodded. “Okay, I’ll try.”

Iroh smiled. “That’s all we can do.” He finished the rest of his tea before putting the cup aside.

“You mentioned writing to people,” Katara said. “You told him you found someone who went through the same things he did. What was that about?”

“I’ve been trying to find someone for him to relate to,” Iroh said. “Maybe to help guide him and provide some more support and stability. Therapists are practically impossible to find, so this was the next best option.”

“Yeah, no one seems to talk about mental health,” Katara said. “You’d think that after a war, this would be something people focused on. I mean, I’ve never even heard of a single therapist or counselor, and I’ve traveled all over the world.”

“I’ve only ever heard of one,” Iroh said, “but he is very elusive.”

Katara perked up. “Wait, really?”

“His name is Wang Fire.”

She immediately slumped down. “Spirits,” she said, rolling her eyes, “ignore anything you’ve heard about him.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Wang Fire isn’t a real person. It’s just Sokka.”

“Oh! I didn’t know that Sokka had a degree!”

“He doesn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Zuko made a small noise and shifted slightly. Katara smiled and scratched his back.

“So you found him someone?” she clarified. “That’ll be really good for him. I just hope he opens up to whoever it is.”

“I do too,” Iroh said. “Conversation can be a good resource as long as it isn’t solely one-sided.”

Katara smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “It really can.”

* * *

Long after Iroh had left, Katara wiggled out from underneath Zuko to get ready for bed. She pulled on a nightgown and brushed her teeth before returning to her boyfriend’s bedroom. She knew that she should tell the others what happened, but she was tired. She could just do it tomorrow.

Creeping back into the bedroom, she walked back over to the bed and crawled in beside Zuko. He shifted slightly, his eyes fluttering as he tried to focus.

“Good morning,” he whispered, his voice thick with sleep.

“Baby, it’s still nighttime,” Katara giggled. “I’m about to go to bed.”

“Oh.” Zuko laid back down. “Never mind, then.”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. He smiled softly.

“Scootch over,” she said. He complied, and she wriggled beside him. His skin felt warm, and she cuddled closer to him.

“I love you,” he mumbled. His eyelids were closed. She could see he was already falling back asleep.

“I love you too. Now, get some rest.”

He nodded lazily before relaxing into the pillow. She rubbed his back as he fell back asleep. It wasn’t until she knew that he was out cold that she fell asleep too.

However, it didn’t last long.

Katara heard the sheets shift from underneath her, and soft whimpers increased in volume.

“No, stop! Get off me!”

“Zuko, it’s okay,” she muttered. She reached over to put a hand on his shoulder, but he immediately cowered away.

“No, no, no, no!”

Katara stilled. The fog from her eyes and mind faded immediately as she realized what was happening.

Tears streamed down Zuko’s face. The way he held himself scared her. He seemed to be shrinking in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Iroh’s words came to mind, and Katara scooted over so that she was farther away from him.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she soothed. “It’s just me. It’s just Katara. It’s going to be alright. No one is going to hurt you.”

She could feel the bed shake with Zuko’s movements, but she resisted the urge to touch him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. She didn’t know who he was talking to, who he was dreaming about. But she had a feeling it was Ozai, and she despised it.

“You don’t need to apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

His muscles tensed, but his cries grew quieter.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Zuko. Whatever’s happening to you, you don’t deserve it.”

The words affected him more than Katara thought. His sobs became nothing more than small whimpers, and he didn’t shake from fear anymore.

Cautiously, she put a hand on his back. Katara almost cried from relief when he didn’t shrink away from her.

“It’s okay, Zuko,” she said. She began rubbing circles into his back, feeling the scars underneath her fingertips. He relaxed at her touch instead of stiffening up. “It’s just me, Katara. Go back to sleep. I’m going to keep you safe.”

It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep after that.

However, Katara’s mind was running too fast for her to join him.

She didn’t know what scared him so much, but she desperately wanted to find out. She wanted to help him, and she didn’t think she knew how without knowing the cause of his torment.

_Was it the Agni Kai?_

It made sense. Maybe when Zuko begged for his father not to touch him, he was referring to Ozai’s hand on his face.

If that was it, maybe she could help him. She could bring him back to reality—back to his bedroom—and take his mind off the duel. Keep her hands off his face and tell him about how he didn’t deserve any of it, not as young as he was.

Katara relaxed slightly. She felt a little better having some sort of idea. It calmed her down just enough to fall asleep.

Little did she know how wrong she really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly super excited to get into the makeshift counselor! I've had it planned for a while, and I just want to skip ahead to those scenes. But alas, patience is a virtue.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying everything so far! :)


	22. Getting Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko gets the chance to talk to his found family, and he discovers they all are making moves to help him.

Just as the sun cracked through the window, Zuko cracked his eyes open. His back ached slightly, and he wondered if he had slept in a strange position.

He flipped over and was immediately welcomed by Katara’s steady breaths and mess of curls. Zuko smiled and brushed his fingers over her cheek softly. There was something so intimate about watching her sleep, and he wished he could experience that feeling forever.

The sun inched further up the horizon, and Zuko slid out of bed carefully, as to not wake up Katara. He grabbed a candle from the dresser and lit the wick on fire. Placing it down on the floor, Zuko sat down in front of it. He watched the flame dance for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

When he was younger, he never enjoyed meditating. He wasn’t any good at it and could never clear his mind, so it just became a time where the thoughts he’d tried to push away came back full force. It made him hate it even more. However, as the years passed, Zuko looked forward to it more. It became a time where he could be silent and at peace, a time when he didn’t have to worry about his anxieties or struggles. It was his alone time, and he savored it,

He focused on clearing his mind. It was easy enough to do, especially considering his thoughts still felt slightly foggy from sleep. His breathing evened out, and his chest rose and fell in intervals. The flame on the candle moved like a heartbeat, no longer quivering unsteadily like it used to.

He sat still, focusing on his breathing and mindfulness. The sun brushed over the sky, rising into the air as Zuko inhaled and exhaled. He always felt better after meditating. Although his family taught him to do it for firebending purposes, it helped his anxiety too. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone but his uncle though.

After thirty minutes, Zuko heard a little noise from the bed. He opened his right eye and looked towards the sleeping figure. She shifted slightly.

Smiling to himself, Zuko grabbed the candle and stood up. He snubbed the flame out and put the candle away before walking back to his bed. He crawled underneath the covers and wrapped his arms around Katara, pressing his chest to her back as he pulled her towards him. She sighed contently and scooted back until her rear was against him. Zuko inhaled sharply.

“Hi.” Katara’s voice was thick with sleep, but Zuko thought it was incredibly attractive.

“Hello.” He pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear. “Go back to sleep, love.”

She nodded sleepily and flipped over to nestle her face into his chest. The tip of her nose was cold against his skin, but he didn’t mind. He kissed the top of her head.

He didn’t go back to sleep, but she did. He wrapped his arms around her as he cuddled her close to his chest.

She was so soft and warm, and she smelled so sweet. Zuko wanted to hold her forever.

However, without her awake and speaking to him, he was left alone with his thoughts. The sickening fear of what Katara might say about yesterday made him anxious. He didn’t want to think about what she might ask, what she might think.

His throat got tight, and his head started to spin.

_There was fear in her eyes when she looked at you last night. She was scared of you._

_No. There was panic, not fear. She was scared of what happened to me, not because of me._

_That’s a lie, and you know it. You’ve done so much to deserve her fear of you. You’re just like your father, scaring people who are close to you._

_Stop it. I’m not like him._

_Oh, yes, you’re exactly like him. You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but it’s true. You think you’re doing things for “the good of everyone,” but you’re still hurting so many people while you’re doing it. Like father, like son._

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut. He buried his face in Katara’s hair, trying to hide from his thoughts. He felt so nauseous.

_No, no, I’m not. I’m not like him. I’ll never be like him._

_Yes, you will. You’re already trying to control all the nations. You’re luring them in with kindness with your peace treaties and help rebuilding the cities. But we really know what you’re doing it for. You want them to trust you so that you can get what you want. It’s only a matter of time before you start acting like your father towards your loved ones too._

_I will never hit them. I will never do the same things that he did to me._

_And why is that? Because you saw the favoritism and knew daddy dearest didn’t like you as much? Don’t you remember that Azulon liked Iroh more than Ozai?_

Zuko’s stomach flipped, and bile rose in his throat. He swallowed it down immediately, but his throat felt tight. He pushed his face deeper into Katara’s hair, trying to find comfort in her scent.

He brought his hand to the scar on his torso. _I saved her life. Father never would’ve done that for anyone._

The thought gave him a little bit of peace. He kept his fingers there for a long time, feeling the rough skin. It grounded him. Helped remind him that he was nothing like Ozai. Even as the thoughts returned, telling him that he was selfish and should kill himself, they disappeared just as quickly as they’d come.

He rested his hand on the scar until Katara woke up again. When he saw the sunlight wash over her sapphire eyes—the ones that reminded him of the horizon where the sky met the sea—he felt himself relax.

_It’s going to be okay. Katara’s with me. It’s alright._

“Good morning,” she said. Her smile was as bright as pearls, and it made Zuko grin in return. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Good morning,” he said as he pulled away. “How did you sleep?”

She shrugged before nestling into his chest. Zuko couldn’t hide the grin that split his cheeks. She was so comfortable to cuddle with and so adorable in his arms. He loved feeling that she trusted him enough to protect her from anything, as if his arms could keep her safe. His heart fluttered at the thought.

“Okay, I guess,” she mumbled into his bare skin. “I just want to cuddle.”

“As much I want to agree, you already slept in later than usual,” Zuko said. “It’s only a matter of time until one of the others comes barging in.”

Katara wrapped her arm around Zuko, hugging her tighter to him. “Let them barge in. I don't care.”

He smiled. “Okay, then.”

She squealed in delight as he flipped her over and brought his lips to hers.

* * *

“Hey, Sparky!” Toph chucked a piece of mango at the doorway as Zuko walked in, hand in Katara’s. However, Momo flew in the way and grabbed the fruit before it could hit the Fire Lord. “We missed you at dinner last night.”

“Sorry, guys.” He pulled out an empty seat and sat down. “I just wasn’t in the mood.”

Sokka nodded. “Yeah, you looked like you needed to be alone,” he said, his mouth full.

Zuko watched as Katara lowered her eyes, grabbing a rice flour bun from the basket in the center of the table. His stomach twisted, and he hoped she wouldn’t say anything to the others.

“I appreciate it,” Zuko said. It was a safe answer. He was afraid to say anything too suspicious and couldn’t bring himself to lie, especially with Toph sitting across from him.

“It’s a shame though,” Suki said. “We’ve all been so busy. We don’t really have much time to hang out together anymore except at meals.”

“Yeah, Sparky,” Toph said. “You can’t miss meals when we barely see you as is.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Soki said, reaching over to swat Toph’s arm. The younger girl simply cackled as she scooped more komodo sausage onto her plate.

“Suki’s right though,” Aang said. “We haven’t gotten a chance to just relax in a little while.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Sokka said. “I say we take another trip to Ember Island.”

“I second that,” Toph chimed in.

“You know we’re all busy trying to fix the world right now,” Katara said. “We don’t have the time to go on vacation. Not yet, anyway.”

“If we don’t go now, we definitely won’t go in the future,” Aang said.

“Besides, if we plan it like we’re going for a business trip…” Sokka tapped his temple twice. “It could work!”

“That’s not a bad idea, Snoozles.” Toph grinned. “I say we go for it!”

“Haven’t you forgotten that I’m running a nation,” Zuko said. “And you’re ambassadors. We can’t just drop everything! Who’s going to stay behind and run things?”

“Uncle Iroh can take over your position for a little while,” Sokka said with a shrug. “And the council members and Fire Sages can work without supervision. It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, Sparky, loosen your hairpiece!”

Zuko rolled his eyes as he pulled apart a rice flour bun. “If you can somehow manage to pull this off, I’ll go.”

“That’s the spirit!” Sokka smacked a hand on Zuko’s back, and the firebender winced. He hoped the others believed it was from the force of Sokka’s hand and not the trauma that it actually was.

“Speaking of ‘spirit,’ how are you doing, Sparky?” Toph asked. Her mouth was full, but between her and Sokka, no one seemed fazed anymore.

“How does that relate to spirits?” Katara asked.

“Because, Sweetness, every time something happens, you start saying, ‘Oh, spirits,’ under your breath.’”

“I don’t say that,” Katara said. “And my voice isn’t that high-pitched!”

“Anyway, Zuko, Toph’s right,” Suki said. “How are you doing? Truly?”

“Yeah, are your…uh…thoughts getting better?” Aang asked.

“Of course, they’re not, Twinkle Toes!” Toph snapped. “You heard him the other night!”

“Hey, you can still have nightmares without feeling…that…way.”

“Please, don’t say it like that,” Zuko said. His mind was swimming, but he needed to stop the other boy before he made it worse.

“Like what?”

“Like you need to avoid the subject. Just say it what it is.” He looked down to pick up a wad of sticky, white rice with his chopsticks. “Just say ‘suicidal.’”

Suki reached her arm out to touch Zuko’s shoulder. “Zuko—”

“Just say it.” He looked back up to Aang. “Don’t treat me any differently. You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.”

Aang nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ve never dealt with this before.”

“It’s fine. I’ve already come to terms with it,” Zuko said.

Sokka and Suki looked at each other. Zuko knew an unspoken conversation carried between their eyes, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. Instead, he reached his hand out underneath the table where the others couldn’t see and touched Katara’s leg. His fingers were light, brushing over the soft fabric of her skirt not to claim her, but rather to ground himself. She reached under the table to take his hand in hers, and she squeezed it gently. He squeezed back. He watched as she hid a smile.

“You still haven’t answered yet,” Toph said. She nudged his leg with her foot from underneath the table. “How have you been?”

Zuko shrugged. “I’m doing a little better. The suicidal thoughts haven’t been as common recently. I mean, they’re still there, but they’ve lessened.”

“That’s good,” Suki encouraged. “Baby steps are all we really need right now.”

“How are your nightmares?” Sokka asked.

“They’ve…” Zuko hesitated. He didn’t know what to say. Ultimately, he decided on the truth. Lying would do no good anyway. Even without Toph sitting across from him, he was still a bad liar. “They’ve been getting worse, actually.”

Sokka’s face grew solemn. “Is there anything we can do to help you?”

Zuko shrugged. “I don’t really know,” he muttered. “I don’t know.”

“Well, if you ever need to talk about them, we’re always here,” Katara said. She squeezed his hand from under the table again.

Guilt washed over Zuko. He knew she wanted to know what changed, what his nightmare was about that caused him to distance himself and to dissociate. But he just couldn’t do it.

“I’ll let you know,” he said. “Thank you.” He squeezed her hand back. He used his other hand to grab his glass, hoping some water would help wash away the guilt and shame that built up in his throat.

“Do we have any meetings today?” Suki asked, changing the subject. She could tell by his eyes that Zuko was done with the conversation. She didn’t want him to suffer through it if he didn’t have it in him anymore.

“Yeah, we have two this afternoon,” Katara answered. “They’re back-to-back.”

Sokka slumped back in the seat. “I hate meetings.”

* * *

That night, Zuko made it back to his bedroom before Katara. He knew she was with Toph and Suki, but he didn’t know what they were doing. However, he was surprised when he was met by a knock on the door—a knock that didn’t belong to his girlfriend.

“Uncle?” Zuko stood up off his bed. “What are you doing here?”

“You can sit,” Iroh said. Zuko complied, and Iroh took a seat next to him on the mattress. “I need to talk to you about last night.”

Zuko’s throat felt tight, and his stomach twisted, but he nodded anyway.

“You were dissociating,” Iroh began. His voice was filled with an emotion that Zuko couldn’t detect. It bordered sadness and fear, but also something else. “You haven’t done that in a long time, nephew.”

“I know,” Zuko said with a sigh. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Toph mentioned to me that you had a really bad nightmare a day or two ago.” Iroh’s eyebrows furrowed up in sadness. “You wouldn’t let anyone touch you.”

Zuko exhaled deeply out of his nose. Iroh moved to place a hand gently on his nephew’s shoulder. He squeezed him slightly to relax him.

“Nephew, is the palace responsible for bringing back painful memories?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Zuko admitted. “Maybe a little bit. It felt like it came out of nowhere.”

“Are you having flashbacks?”

He nodded. “It’s like everything triggers them,” he admitted. “I can’t look around without seeing something that reminds me of him. Or maybe someone will say something that sounds like something he would say. It’s like everything is a reminder of him.”

“Katara told me last night that during one nightmare, you were begging Ozai to stop,” Iroh said. His face grew long as he watched Zuko turn pale.

“Do-do you think she knows?” he asked. His voice seemed so small, and Iroh stiffened at the sound. Zuko would never willingly allow his voice to sound so weak.

“I do not think so,” he said. “I think she knows that something is wrong, but I don’t think she knows what.”

Zuko grimaced and wrapped his arms around himself. “She knows about the abuse.” Iroh had to lean in slightly to hear him. “She knows about the scar. And she’s seen my back.”

“How did she react?”

“She was upset,” he said. “She seemed really sad.”

“It’s hard to see anyone like that,” Iroh said, “especially those you love.”

“I’m just nervous for what she’ll think if she finds out about…if-if she—”

“Nephew,” Iroh said, squeezing Zuko’s shoulder again gently, “she’s not going to think of you any differently.”

“Yeah, she is. I just know it.” Smoke billowed out of Zuko’s nostrils as he exhaled shakily. “She’s been quieter whenever the group brings it up. It’s like she doesn’t know how to react.”

“It’s an adjustment, but you need to give her time. She’s trying to cope with the knowledge.”

“I know, but it’s just…hard.”

“I know, nephew. But she’ll come around. You just have to be patient.”

Zuko nodded. “I’ll try.”

As for your flashbacks and nightmares,” Iroh said, “I told you yesterday, but I don’t know how aware you were. I’ve been trying to find someone with the same experiences as you.”

Zuko’s eyes bugged out. “Do people know that—”

“Of course not. That’s up to you to tell people,” Iroh said. “But I did find someone who understands. I want you to talk to them. Maybe he can be a figure of guidance in your life.”

“How…how do I know…”

“He’s been through the same things,” Iroh said. “Having someone to relate to will help you, and hopefully, it will provide you with some peace to know that you aren’t alone.”

Zuko nodded. “I’ll talk to him. When is he coming?”

“He’ll be here in a few weeks,” Iroh said. “That’s plenty of time for you to get used to the idea. I sincerely hope that he will give you the help you need.”

Zuko lowered his head. “Yeah, me too.”

Iroh took his hand off Zuko’s shoulder and brought it down to his back. His other hand followed, and soon, he was embracing the younger boy. He hugged him tightly and let him put his head on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

Zuko nodded. “I hope so.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I really hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are over, and I can finally get back to writing! It's so nice being able to take the night to continue the story instead of editing my essays or studying for Spanish tests. 
> 
> Because I wasn't able to post yesterday, I made sure to make this chapter a little bit longer for you all. I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and the comments! I love hearing everyone's reactions! :)


	23. All Smoothed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Gaang hangs out at the beach, they share some deep conversations.

“Hi, honey!” Sokka yelled, pushing the door open with his hip. “I’m home!”

“Okay, get out of the way, Funny Man,” Toph said. She shoved him out of the way with her suitcase. “This is heavy.”

“Well, excuse me,” Sokka said, rolling his eyes. “I’m just trying to have some fun.”

“Yeah, Toph,” Aang said. A smile tore at his face, and his gray eyes glistened with joy. “We’re here to have a good time.”

“Well, maybe I’ll have a better time when I don’t have to carry this stupid suitcase anymore.” Zuko leaned over and lifted it for Toph. “Thanks, Sparky.”

“I’ll bring it upstairs,” he said. “Did you want the same room you took last time?”

“Heck yeah! It had a great view of the ocean!”

“Toph, your window doesn’t even face the…” Sokka cut himself off. “Why do you do that?”

“I like seeing how long it takes you to remember.” She smiled cheekily.

“I’ll race you to the beach!” Aang said.

“Oh, you’re on!” Sokka exclaimed, ignoring Toph.

“Haven’t you forgotten that we need to put our luggage away first?” Katara said, grabbing her brother by his ponytail to stop him from bolting off. “We can’t just leave our stuff in the middle of the floor.”

“Ughhhhhh,” Sokka groaned, pushing his face closer into Katara’s. She didn’t back away, and instead, gave him an annoyed look. “Fine,” he said.

“You don’t need to put everything away,” Suki said. “Just drop it off in your room, at least.”

“That’s true,” Aang said. “As long as it’s out of the way, it shouldn’t matter.”

“Come on,” Katara said. She picked her suitcase back up off the floor and turned to walk down the hallway. “We can all go to the beach in a minute.”

“To my room, peasant!” Toph said, tapping Zuko’s back before marching off.

“The only one who gets to call people ‘peasant’ is me,” he said, smiling at the younger girl. With his suitcase in one hand and hers in the other, he followed her down the hall.

* * *

Katara had lived in the Southern Water Tribe all her life, and despite feeling at home in the cold, there was something about feeling the sun on her skin that just made her feel all warm inside.

She grabbed a surfboard and darted out to the coast. “Come on, Zuko!”

“Wait! I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“I’ll help you! Just come on!”

Zuko groaned and chased after her. “I’m already starting to regret agreeing to this.”

“I told you earlier I would teach you how,” Katara said, turning back to face her boyfriend. “You don’t want the Fire Nation to know I’m better at surfing than you, do you?”

“It doesn’t bother me,” he said with a shrug. “You’re better than me at a lot of things.”

“Come on, Zuko,” she pleaded. “Just for a little while, and if you don’t like it, then you never have to touch another surfboard again.”

“Okay, fine,” he said. “But don’t laugh at me when I fall off the board.”

Katara placed her surfboard on the sand, and Zuko put his down next to hers. “First things first, you need to practice popping up. You can watch me first.” She laid down on her stomach, her bare skin pressed to her surfboard. “Now, you want to be in the middle of the surfboard for this, so try not to be too close to the front or the back.”

Zuko sat down on his board. He crossed his legs, but he kept his eyes on the girl in front of him.

“First, put your hands flat on the board and right at the bottom of your ribcage. Then, arch your back, but still keep your hips flat on the board.” Katara got into the first position, moving her hands into a stance that looked similar to a push-up. She pushed herself up and lifted her chest. She arched her back, but her pelvis and thighs were still pressed to the board.

“Next, twist your hips while you bring your left foot forward, about where your hands are. Now, you want your feet to leave the board at the same time, and you want them to touch it again at the same time.” She popped up, bringing her feet forward as she twisted her body slightly. “It takes a lot of upper body strength.” She looked to Zuko, a large smile imprinted on her face. “Ready to try?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, come on. Just try. I’ll help.”

However, even with her help, he couldn’t get it. She made it look so easy. Her movements were fluid and smooth, while he just looked sloppy and ungraceful. Every time she giggled, he would glare in her direction.

“Stop laughing at me,” he said. “It’s harder than it looks.”

“Oh, I know that,” she said. She took a seat next to his board. “It took me years to master it.”

“How did you even learn to surf?” he asked.

“Baby, I lived in the Southern _Water_ Tribe.”

“No, but the water is freezing,” he said, “and the wind is even worse.”

“Well, technically, we’re not supposed to go out and swim or surf for long—if at all, but it’s kind of a rite of passage.” She smiled. “The goal is to manage to surf without getting stung by freezing waters. It’s really fun, but when you’re finished, your skin burns.”

“I like to think you’re wearing more clothes in the Southern Water Tribe than you are right now,” Zuko said.

Katara laughed. “Oh, definitely. I would never walk out of the house in just a bathing suit down there.”

They practiced some more as they talked. When Zuko’s position became just barely passable, Katara decided it was time to take him to the water.

“Wait, I’m not ready!”

“You’ll never be ready,” Katara said. “Don’t you at least want to try?”

“Fine,” he said, carrying his surfboard into the waters alongside her.

“I’ll help you find a good wave,” she said. Together, the two laid on their stomachs, paddling towards the deeper end of the ocean. Suddenly, Katara pointed to the right. “Over there, Zuko!”

A small wave began rising, picking up more and more water as it went along. It was growing rapidly, and Katara began paddling towards it. Zuko watched as she popped up just at the right time. She surfed the wave, laughing as she steered the surfboard.

Just as she finished riding the wave, she looked over at Zuko, who was gaping at her. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“That was so good,” he said with a grin.

“You can be that good too if you practice,” she said. “Now, come on. It’s your turn.”

Together, the two of them paddled towards a growing wave. “Come on, Zuko. You can do it.”

No, he couldn’t.

He didn’t stand up in time, and when he did stand up, he immediately fell over. The wave hit him directly in the back of the head and pushed him off the surfboard.

Katara laughed as the water carried him to the shore. He spit out a mouthful of water and glared at her.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled. “I told you I wouldn’t laugh, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so…”

“So what?”

“So bad.” She laughed even harder. “Even Sokka was better than you on his first try.”

Zuko rolled his eyes, and she continued to laugh at him. “You know, you’re really helping to boost my self-esteem right now.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “But only partially.”

He rolled his eyes and tackled her on the sand. She shrieked as he splashed water on her face. She just bent the water right back towards him.

“Wanna try again?” she asked.

“Sure, might as well,” he said. “Maybe the next time will be better.”

He stood up and offered her his hand to lift her up. She grabbed it, and he helped to pull her up to her feet. Together, they grabbed their boards again and hurried back to the ocean.

However, this time was even worse. Zuko completely wiped out and swallowed more saltwater than was healthy.

“I’m done,” he said, choking on some of the water. His nostrils burned, and so did his lungs.

“Are you sure?” Katara asked, kneeling down on the sand beside him. She bent the water out of his throat and lungs.

“Yeah, I’m positive,” he said. He pushed his wet hair out of his face. “You can keep surfing. I’m going to go hang out with the others.”

“Okay,” she said. She picked up her surfboard and gave him a small smile. “Go have fun. I’ll be there soon.” She leaned forward to kiss his cheek, careful not to hit him with the surfboard.

“I will. I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Katara said. She winked at him before paddling back into the water.

Zuko walked back to the others. Toph and Aang were building sandcastles using their earthbending, although Toph’s was way more masterfully-built than the Avatar’s.

“Zuko, how was surfing?” Aang asked, trying to contain his chuckles.

“Yeah, Sparky, I wish I could see it!”

“I mean, I’m sure Toph could surf better than you, and she’s blind.”

“Oh, shut up,” Zuko said. He smiled, tossing a small fireball towards Aang’s sandcastle.

“Hey!”

* * *

“The stars look gorgeous tonight,” Suki said. “There’s so many of them.”

“Yeah, they look great,” Toph deadpanned, bending her space rock into different shapes.

Everyone was huddled around the fire that Zuko made. The temperature was already pleasant—not too cold or too warm—but there was something about having a bonfire on the beach.

“Remember the last time we came here?” Aang reminisced. “It was our last night to relax before Sozin’s comet arrived, and what happened? Zuko burned down our sandcastles and chased me down.”

Everyone laughed, and Zuko felt his face heat up. His cheeks turned red, but he tried to ignore them. “I’d never had a day where I could just relax before,” he admitted. “At least, not a full day. Even when I’d come here with my family, I was still expected to practice my firebending forms in the morning and study different military tactics, trading information, and the nation’s history.” He pulled his legs up to his chest and balanced his arms on his kneecaps. “I didn’t realize that people would actually relax all day, especially not before a big event.”

“You, sir, had a messed-up childhood,” Toph said. Zuko leaned to his left side where she was sitting, and he ruffled her hair.

“You didn’t have to tell me that,” he said with a small smile. “I already knew.”

“What was it like when you came here as a kid?” Suki asked.

Zuko shrugged. “It was okay. Lu Ten and I would chase each other on the beach and splash each other with water. He really liked to firebend in the ocean and watch as the steam covered the area.”

“What did Azula do?” Sokka asked. “Did she carve seashells into knives and use them to stab seagull-crabs?”

Zuko laughed, throwing his head back as his deep voice rang through the air. “No, she didn’t. She was a kid once, you know. Before my father got to her, anyway.” He traced his finger in the sand, making random lines and figures. “She liked to build castles and decorate them with shells. She’d usually make me find her the shells though.” He turned to look towards the others. “Did any of you guys come here when you were younger?”

“I visited once,” Suki said. “I was young at the time, but my dad rented out a beach house for the week. My mom and I would go out and swim in these waters.”

“I came here a long time ago with my family too,” Toph said. “I was really young, but I remember it well enough. My mom said that those who visited Ember Island would go through a self-discovery.”

“When I came here with my sister and her friends recently,” Zuko said, “Azula’s mentors, Lo and Li, said the same thing.”

“I don’t think we’ve had that yet, have we?” Sokka asked. “I mean, we got to see ourselves in that one play, but we were really just looking at what others thought of us, not what we needed to know about ourselves.”

“Plus, it was all propaganda,” Katara added. “Just one more thing for Ozai to brainwash the people with.” She touched Zuko’s arm gently. “No offense.”

He shrugged. “None taken.”

“I mean, I got to learn from a lion turtle about energybending,” Aang said. “And I got to speak to my past lives, so I guess I kind of had some self-discovery.”

“So Aang’s the only one?” Katara said. “We should do some self-discovery then.”

“How?” Toph asked.

“I don’t know,” Katara said. “I guess we can just talk.”

The group got quiet, not knowing how to begin. However, Aang was the first one to break the silence.

“When I first saw Gyatso’s body, I didn’t know what to do,” he confessed. “I mean…he was my first friend, and probably my last one—especially after the other kids wouldn’t let me play with them anymore.” He looked down at the sand in from of him. His gray eyes were glazed over. “Everyone I loved was gone, and I was the only one left. And I ran away. I already had the weight of the world on my shoulders because I’m the Avatar, but now, I also had the weight of hundreds upon hundreds of deaths. They needed me, and I abandoned them.” He wrapped his arms around his legs.

“Sometimes, I still think about them,” he continued. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that I was just a kid, and there wasn’t much I could’ve done to stop the Fire Nation from attacking. They probably would’ve just killed me, and the next Avatar would’ve come sooner rather than later. But it still hurts to think about.”

“You’ve gone through a lot,” Suki said. “Especially for someone so young.”

“We all have,” Aang said. “War does that to people.”

“But now the war is over,” Katara said. “We’re free to live the lives we should’ve lived when we were younger. We can raise our own kids without fear.” She touched her hair, playing with the dark waves mindlessly. “That was always my biggest fear when I was growing up. I never wanted to see my loved ones hurt. To have my own kids grow up in a world destroyed by war…I don’t…I don’t know what I would have done.”

Sokka nodded. “Especially with Mom gone,” he said.

Katara nodded. “Yeah.” She closed her eyes, feeling them well up with tears. “After she was killed, I was forced to immediately jump in and take her place. I had to skin the animals, and cook, and clean, and sew. I was forced to step up so that our family could survive, so we wouldn’t starve or freeze to death. But because of that, I never had a chance to grieve properly. I never had a chance to cope or even to heal.”

Tears ran down Katara’s face, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Zuko scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her into a comforting embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder, trying to calm herself down. “I really just wish she was still here. I miss her so much. I miss being with her and not having to shoulder the weight of having to take care of everyone.” She dipped her head down. “You always said I was motherly, but it’s because I’ve had to take care of everyone since I was a child. I’ve been taking care of people for so long that I don’t really remember what it’s like for people to actually take care of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Aang said. “I didn’t realize...”

“It’s okay,” she said, shaking her head.

“No, it isn’t,” Sokka said. “We shouldn’t have put that burden on you.”

“Luckily, when we traveled together, I wasn’t completely left alone though. Suki and Zuko helped with chores. They would go shopping with me and help me with laundry and cooking meals.”

“But we all should’ve,” Aang said. “I didn’t realize it.”

“It makes sense why you were mad at me for not helping with gathering food or setting up the tent,” Toph said. Her voice was low. “You were just tired of being the parent.”

“Yeah,” Katara sighed. “I guess I was.”

“We picked on you a lot for mothering us, but truthfully, I think we all liked it,” Aang said. “It reminded us of home.”

“When I was still living with my parents in Gaoling, I felt like they didn’t know me,” Toph said. “They were so quick to shut me down, and they’d never let me do anything. It wasn’t until I met you that I realized how messed up my family was. They weren’t just trying to keep me safe. They weren’t just hiding the world from me. They were hiding me from the world.”

They all stared at her silently, waiting for her to continue. Toph rarely opened up like this, and they didn’t want to shut her down. Not like her parents would do to her.

“I wonder if they ever even loved me,” she whispered. “Now that I know what a family is supposed to feel like, I can’t help but think that my own…it was never really a family. Not like it should’ve been.”

“I’m sorry, Toph,” Katara said. “You didn’t deserve that.”

The earthbender scoffed. “None of us did. We’re all so, so screwed up.”

“Even though you never had a good relationship with your parents, I honestly really envied you,” Sokka said. “Your parents were always there for you at the drop of a hat. I…I never really got that with my family.” He rested his chin in his hand, cupping his cheek with his fingers. “We had the community that you wanted, but you had their presence. And sometimes…sometimes, that was all I really wanted.” He stared off into the fire. “My mom was dead, and my dad was gone. That really screws up a kid, you know. I mean, Katara has abandonment issues now and is constantly paranoid of her loved ones leaving—whether through death or otherwise. And I always felt like I wasn’t worthy enough.” He sighed, staring off into the flames without blinking. “Dad just left, and even though I wanted to come, he said no. I always thought about that when I was a kid, and I’d always believed he just didn’t want me. Maybe, if I were a little stronger, a little smarter, a little better…maybe then, he would’ve taken me with him.”

Zuko closed his eyes upon hearing that. He swallowed, but his throat felt thick with nausea.

“I understand that,” Suki said. “I constantly have those thoughts. I always worry that I’m not a good enough leader to my girls. That they should have someone better. When everyone’s looking at you and expecting you to know the answer to everything, it can get so overwhelming.” Her face drooped in sadness. “Some days, I wish I could just give away my position. I don’t want to be in charge of the group if something goes wrong. I don’t want to have the thoughts about being better, stronger, quicker…It’s just so hard.”

Sokka leaned over and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. She buried her face into his neck, and he whispered something into her ear, but the rest of the group couldn’t hear what it was. However, her sad smile spoke for itself.

“I…I, uh, I get those thoughts too,” Zuko admitted. “My father always liked Azula more, no matter what. She was the perfect heir. He always said that she was born lucky, and I was lucky to be born.” He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. “He started hitting me when I was young, maybe three or four. There was always something. I wasn’t a firebender yet. I wasn’t smart. I wasn’t talented. And I always just accepted it because I thought I deserved it, and maybe if I was good enough, he wouldn’t have to hurt me anymore.”

“He gave you the scar, didn’t he?” Suki asked softly. Zuko simply nodded. “Zuko, I’m so sorry.”

“It makes me upset because some days, I felt like there was nothing I could do to earn his love. That’s why I was so hard when I woke up to find that Mom was gone. It meant that no one in the palace loved me anymore. And I was alone with him.” He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to escape the memories. However, the words kept spilling out.

“When he banished me, it felt like my whole world collapsed. He sent me on this impossible mission and told me I couldn’t come back until I completed it. He thought I would never find the Avatar. He never wanted me to come back. He-he didn’t want me there. He never wanted me.” His voice grew shaky. “And-and it didn’t matter that being away meant I wasn’t getting beat anymore because I thought it was my fault. I deserved to get hit and burned, and-and I…”

“Zuko, it’s okay,” Katara said. She placed her hand on his back, rubbing his skin.

“He touched me.”

It came out as a whisper. So quietly that they thought they dreamed it. Misheard it.

But they didn’t.

Everyone froze.

The air grew still.

Katara’s fingers dropped from his back in shock.

“He touched me,” Zuko repeated. “He touched me every fucking night. He didn’t even care that I fought against it or that I said I didn’t want it. It didn’t matter to him. It didn’t matter because he liked it, and that was all he cared about.” The tears that had welled up in his eyes streamed down his cheeks. The dam had broken.

Zuko sat there, sobbing in front of all of his friends. Heart-wrenching, agonizing noises spilled out of his throat. He wanted to scream.

“He raped me,” he bawled. “He…he—”

Arms wrapped around him, followed by the smell of flowers and coconuts. Katara’s soft skin was warm against his own.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into his ear. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“You didn’t deserve that,” Suki said. She was already next to him, kneeling in front of him as she rubbed his knee with her hand. “Please don’t tell yourself you did. No one—especially not a child—deserved that.”

“Yeah, Sparky,” Toph said. Her voice was quiet and filled with sadness. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“You should’ve killed him,” Sokka whispered. He turned to look at Aang. “You should’ve killed him,” he repeated, much louder this time. “Why didn’t you kill him? Ozai deserved to die!”

“I didn’t know,” Aang said. “Zuko, I’m so sorry.”

Zuko shook his head. “It-it does…doesn’t matter. His death would…wouldn’t change anything anyway.”

“He deserves to be punished,” Sokka said. His voice was shaky, as if he was trying not to scream and scare the other boy more. “At home, the punishment for rape is castration and abandonment. Ozai deserves just that.”

“Does anyone else know about this?” Suki asked, still rubbing his knee gently.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, my-my uncle found me the next..the-the next morning.”

Suki inhaled and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

“Zuko, just know you didn’t deserve that,” Katara said. “We don’t think of you any differently. We still love you, and nothing is going to change that.”

“Especially not your sick dad,” Sokka said. “Spirits, as if I needed another reason to hate him.”

“That’s what your nightmare was about, wasn’t it?” Toph said. “And why you didn’t want anyone to touch you. Well…except for me.”

Zuko nodded. “You’re…you’re a lot-lot smaller than he is. It-it was…it was okay when-when—”

“Hey, it’s alright now,” Katara soothed. “Take a deep breath.”

“I’m so sorry I called you selfish a few weeks ago,” Aang said. “I-I didn’t realize…”

“Aang, I already…told you it-it was okay.”

“No, it wasn’t! Especially when your dad was probably berating you too. I only made it worse!”

“Aang,” Katara warned. “Don’t yell. Not right now.”

He took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m just…I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Sokka agreed. “It’s been a long night.”

“I’m-I’m sorry,” Zuko apologized. He was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. “I did-didn’t mean to—I didn’t…”

“It’s okay, baby,” Katara said. She smoothed out his hair and played with it to help him relax. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”

“I-I shouldn’t have…brought it…brought it up.”

“No, you needed to tell someone,” Toph said firmly. “I’m happy you told us.”

“Yeah, I am too.”

“Same here.”

“Of course!”

Zuko dipped his head into his hands. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I-I don’t…”

“It’s alright,” Katara said. “Just breathe. We’ll be here for you when you’re ready.”

He nodded, and she kissed his forehead.

“We’ll always be here for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After everything you've been waiting for, the reveal was finally here! I hope I did it some justice! I know this chapter got really long, but I couldn't bear to split it up either. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it! And thank you again for all the comments and kudos! :)


	24. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko try to relax for the night after the Gaang's conversation.

The lantern on the nightstand had almost lost its flame, but against everything, it still blazed. It wasn’t a strong glow, barely enough to light up the little corner of the room, but it provided Zuko with comfort anyway.

He laid on his stomach, his head turned towards the light. Thin fingers on his back rubbed at the tight knots in his muscles. It felt better than he wanted to admit, but he couldn’t find it in him to say anything about it either. The silence was too nice to break.

As Katara’s hands went higher, up to his shoulder blades and his upper spine, Zuko wriggled slightly to get more comfortable. It was the first time he’d moved since getting to his room after the bonfire. Katara instantly stopped rubbing his back.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Zuko was glad she was referring to the sudden movement and not their group’s conversation earlier. He nodded.

She exhaled quietly before bringing her fingers back to his bare skin. Zuko closed his eyes as her fingers rubbed up and down his shoulder blades. He hadn’t received touch like this since his mom left, and he didn’t realize how much he’d missed it.

One hand moved up to the base of his scalp, just above where his neck began. He let out a little, content noise as Katara scratched at his scalp with one hand and continued to massage his back with the other.

Zuko felt his eyelids grow heavier, and he fought to keep them open. He didn’t want to sleep yet. He wanted to continue staring at the little, dying flame of the lantern and feeling his girlfriend’s hands on his back and hair.

Katara leaned over, and Zuko shivered as her long, loose hair tickled his bare back. The curls dragged over the skin as she crossed over his body. She pressed her lips to his temple, and Zuko smiled at the kiss. It was a small smile, but it was something. Katara noticed.

“You can go to sleep,” she said. “It’s okay. We’ve had a long day.”

“I don’t want to,” he said. He felt like a child.

“You need to. The others want to have breakfast on the beach, remember? Sokka’s actually waking up early to see the sunrise with us.”

Zuko turned his head to look at Katara instead of the lantern. Her eyes were weary and full of unspoken emotions. Her beautiful, sapphire eyes—the ones that reminded him of the oceans she controlled—held typhoons instead of soft waves. He wondered what she was thinking.

He wanted to kiss her face—her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, her lips. But he couldn’t move. His limbs felt limp. His body ached from fatigue.

“Katara, I’m sor—”

“Don’t apologize.” Her voice was stiff and rough, and it made Zuko freeze immediately. She sighed, and her shoulders relaxed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” She pulled her hands away from his back and hair, tucking them into her lap. Zuko missed her touch immediately. “I’m just…I don’t know.”  
  
“What are you thinking about?” he asked. He was scared to know the truth, but he was more scared of not knowing.

“I don’t know what to think,” she admitted.

“At least tell me what’s going through your mind right now.” His arms felt like gelatin, and despite their weariness, Zuko dragged his arm up to rest his hand on Katara’s kneecap.

“I just…” she hesitated, trying to find the right words. The typhoons in her ocean eyes grew stronger. “I wish I knew the right thing to say to help you.”

“Kat, it was years ago.”

“But it still bothers you,” she said. “That nightmare scared me to death, and had I known that the truth was even worse…” The typhoons turned to heavy rains, leaking down her face. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t be the emotional one. I never went through this; you did.”

“It’s okay to be emotional.” He sat up, ignoring the screams from his weary limbs. He wrapped his arms around the crying girl, and she rested her forehead on his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

When he was still living at the palace before his banishment, his father drilled into his mind that emotions were a sign of weakness. Royalty didn’t show emotions, and he was severely punished if he did. However, his time on the ship with his uncle and traveling the world with his friends helped to shift his mindset. It still felt weird to show emotions other than rage or anger, but it was getting easier. He didn’t want Katara to hide her emotions from him. He knew how hard that was.

He kissed her hair as she cried and squeezed her tighter against him. He heated his body up slightly, just enough to provide her with a calming warmth to envelop her body in.

“You shouldn’t be the one who has to comfort me,” she said into his shoulder. “It should be the other way around.”

“No, I don’t want you to be the one to shoulder all this,” he said. “You’re going through a lot. I don’t want you to feel like this is just one more burden to take from someone else.”

He hugged her tightly before dragging her down, forcing her to lay down on the mattress. He kissed every inch of her face, just like he wanted to before. This time, he didn’t stop until she was giggling.

“Okay, okay, you can get off me,” she laughed. She gently nudged him aside, and he rolled over so that he was no longer crushing her.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Are you?”

Truthfully, he did. At least a little bit. It was a good distraction, something to keep his mind off the stress of the situation.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, good. Then, I am too.” She smiled at him, and Zuko felt his heart beat faster. “Do you want to cuddle?”

“Always do,” he said.

“Do you want to be the little spoon?”

“Yeah.”

Katara smiled again, and she rolled over on her side. As Zuko flipped over, she pulled him into her, pressing his bare back against her chest and torso. She littered the scars on his upper back and shoulder with kisses and nuzzled the skin with her nose. She would never grow tired of the feeling of his warm body on her lips.

“I love you,” she whispered into his bare skin. “And I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Katara, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize. It’s over now.”

“It’s still hard to wrap my mind around. He should never have done that to you.”

Zuko simply shrugged.

“What do you want to do to him?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You…you’re not going to let him get away with that, are you?”

Zuko’s silence was enough of an answer for her.

“Zuko, baby—”

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked. “Hurt him back? It’s not going to change anything.”

“But that can’t go unpunished either.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Okay.” She kissed his skin, right where his neck met his shoulder. He shuddered under her kiss, and she made a mental note about how sensitive that specific area was. “But just know that we’ll kick his butt for you if you want us to.”

He nodded, and she kissed the back of his neck before settling into the pillow. They laid in silence for a few minutes, just listening to the sound of the other’s breathing.

“Katara?” he whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I love you too.”

She smiled and kissed his shoulder once more before her eyes fluttered shut for the night.

* * *

_Zuko sat at his desk, dozens of papers scattered around the wood in varying stacks. Maps, lists of exports and imports, and battle strategies covered the papers, and he didn’t know where to begin._

_He knew he had to memorize everything. He had to be perfect. Maybe by pouring himself into his studies, his father would finally be proud of him._

_The sound of the bedroom door snapped Zuko out of his thoughts. He whipped his head around, his ponytail swinging behind him._

_The door shut, and Zuko’s breath stilled in his throat._

_“Why weren’t you at the meeting?” Ozai asked, walking over to his son. His voice was rough and grating against Zuko’s nerves. His footsteps were heavy. Zuko couldn’t breathe._

_“I did-didn’t realize that…that you—”_

_“Without stuttering,” Ozai snapped. “Did I raise you to be a weak, spluttering coward who does nothing but stammer at the first sign of fear?” He grabbed Zuko by the ponytail and yanked on the hair. Zuko repressed a small squeak. “Now answer the question. Without stuttering this time.”_

_“I…I didn’t realize you wanted me there, sir,” Zuko said shakily. “I’m sorry.”_

_At that, Ozai flung him away, straight into the desk. Zuko fell backward into the stiff wood, stumbling on the chair and knocking over the papers to the floor._

_“You’re pathetic,” he hissed. “You have one job, and you manage to screw that up. Just like everything else.”_

_“I’m sorry, Fath—”_

_A loud smack interrupted him._

_He hit the floor with a bang._

_“Do not beg, Prince Zuko. Royalty does not show signs of weakness. Have you not tainted the bloodline enough?”_

_He dipped his head down. He didn’t know what to say. His cheek stung, and he tried to focus on anything but the pain._

_Ozai knelt down and grabbed Zuko’s face roughly. The base of his hand rested on the boy’s throat, his fingers clutching his jaw. “When I tell you to do something, I expect you to listen.” He squeezed Zuko’s jaw and cheeks with his fingers tightly. He heated up his fingers slightly, and the boy winced. “Do you understand me?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_Ozai dropped the boy, watching spitefully as he cracked his head on the floor. Zuko touched his jawline and felt the sting. He knew he’d gotten burned, but he just hoped they weren’t that bad. Hopefully, they were just first-degree burns—nothing worse._

_Hands lowered down to his waist and began pulling off his belt. Zuko froze for only a second before trying to push himself away._

_“Stop moving,” Ozai growled, “or I will only make this worse for you.”_

_“Don’t touch me!” Zuko shrieked. He threw the papers on the floor at his father’s face, but he simply burned them away._

_Suddenly, a large hand grabbed Zuko by the throat and shoved him to the floor._

_“_ _You will not tell me what to do!” His fingers burned into the sensitive skin as Zuko tried to claw his hand away._

_He was choking. He couldn’t breathe. He had to get the hand off. Had to do something. He couldn’t die. Not like this. Not like—_

_A loud crash sounded behind them. Ozai whipped his head towards the door._

_Zuko wanted to cry. He didn’t know if it was from relief or shame, but the tears wouldn’t stop sliding down his face._

_“Get your hands off of him!” Katara yelled. Her voice was shrill from anger. She bent the water from her pouch and sent a water whip streaking towards Ozai’s hand. It slapped his skin hard, and she used the water to grab him. The water tore the older man’s hand off Zuko, and Ozai tried to yank his hand back from the girl’s grasp._

_“Come on, Zuko!” Aang reached out to the prince, his hand outstretched. “You’ve got to get out of here!”_

_A boomerang flung towards Ozai and hit him in the back of the head. The man growled furiously and tore his attention away from Katara. However, Sokka didn’t look fazed at all._

_“Come on!” This time, it was Toph. She knelt down beside Aang. “You can’t stay here forever. You’ve got to get up!”_

_“You’ve got to get up!”_

_“Come on, get up!”_

* * *

“Hey, you’ve got to get up.”

“Huh?”

Katara giggled. “Come on, we’ve got to go wake up the others.”

Zuko rubbed his eyes. However, everything was still so dark.

“What…what time…”

“It’s almost sunrise.” She smiled. “And here I was thinking you were the early bird. Come on, baby. Let’s go get the others.”

He slid out of bed, almost collapsing as his feet hit the floor. His mind was still reeling from his dream and was blurry from sleep. However, he created a flame in his hand to light up the room as he grabbed his tunic before following Katara out to the hallway.

“I’ll get Aang and Toph if you want to get Sokka and Suki,” she said. “We’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

Zuko nodded drowsily, pulling on his shirt to cover up his bare torso. “Okay, sounds good.”

Katara leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you in a minute.” With that, she disappeared down the hall and knocked gently on Aang’s door before entering.

Zuko turned the other way, heading to the door at the end of the hallway, the one he knew was Sokka’s. He knocked twice before slowly pushing the door open.

“Sokka?” he whispered. However, there wasn’t any sound or movement coming from the bed.

Zuko stuck his hand out and lit a small fire in his palm to light up the room. However, his eyes widened as soon as he did.

“What the h—”

“Zuko?!” Sokka yanked the covers up, throwing them on top of Suki’s body and barely covering his lower half. Suki squirmed from the movement and rubbed her eyes “What are you doing here?”

“I came to wake you two up,” he all but yelled. “Why, why are you…”

“Zuko?” Suki asked. However, she immediately perked up, realizing what was happening. “Oh, spirits! I forgot we were going to the beach today!”

“You couldn’t have picked any other day to…” Zuko couldn’t look at them. He diverted his eyes, focusing on the ceiling above them. His face was beet red. “You guys, this is my _family’s_ vacation home.”

“Well, now it’s yours,” Sokka said, “and nothing was stopping us from having sex in _your_ palace either.”

“Sokka, shut _up_.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just…come to the kitchen whenever you’re dressed.” He hurried out of the door before giving either of them a chance to respond.

Zuko hurried to the kitchen, trying to get away from the other two as quickly as possible. However, he didn’t see Katara in the hallway and barely missed running into her.

“Oh, hey!” she said. “Thanks for waking up Toph for me,” Katara said. “I didn’t have to.” Zuko gave her an irritated look, and Katara gave him an odd one back. “What? She’s not a morning person, and I’m grateful that she was already awake when I…wait, what happened?”

“Next time,” he said, “you get to wake up Sokka and Suki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted a little bit of fluff to give you all a break from the angst that happened in the last chapter. Hopefully, everyone is okay with that. :)
> 
> I passed all my finals and finished with all A's in my courses, so I'm super happy! But I wanted to thank you for your patience last week! I know I couldn't post every day like I try to, but I'm grateful you all were patient with me. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. :) It makes me happy to know there are so many people reading and commenting on the story!


	25. Sunrises and Beach Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang enjoys a morning on the beach to relax after the conversations the night before.

The air was cold, and the sky was a heavy shade of indigo. However, despite the early hour, everyone was mostly awake, chattering as they walked down to the beach.

“I can’t believe you woke me up for this,” Toph grumbled. “I won’t even be able to _see_ the sunrise.”

“It’s not just a sunrise,” Aang said. Even at ungodly hours of the morning, he was still chipper. “It’s also a picnic and getting the chance to relax before anyone else shows up.”

“Yeah,” Sokka agreed. “I mean, I think we all need a break after everything we talked about last night.”

Zuko felt slightly nauseous at that statement. He felt light-headed, and although he knew Sokka wasn’t indirectly calling him out, he still felt like it was his fault.

However, the thoughts immediately stopped as Katara squeezed his hand firmly. He felt the love pump through her hand into his. He squeezed hers back.

“You’re lucky we’re friends,” Toph said. “Otherwise, I would’ve punted you like an earth ball for waking me up. Especially you, Sparky.”

“I wasn’t even yelling that loudly.”

“When the house is completely silent and I’m a light sleeper, yes,” Toph said. “Yes, you were.”

“If you had to see Sokka’s di—”

“Oh, honey, I don’t have to. I get a full show every night. Those vibrations are—”

“Hey, yeah, can we _not_ talk about this first thing in the morning?” Katara asked. She hitched the basket higher up on her hip as she turned around to glare at the others.

“Yeah, Katara’s right,” Aang said, trying to walk quicker towards the coast. “Let’s not talk about this. Now or ever.”

“You’re one to talk anyway, Katara,” Sokka said. “I mean, how many times have we seen you slip into Zuko’s room every night, hmm?”

“I-I, uh, we-we weren’t—” Zuko stammered.

“Stutters is right,” Toph said. “They don’t even _do_ anything. And I would know. I can at least feel you two lovebirds.” She stabbed Sokka’s arm with her index finger, and he brushed it away.

“Whatever, let’s just get to the beach,” Sokka said, rolling his eyes.

When they reached the coast, Zuko, Suki, and Aang laid a large blanket down for everyone, and Katara set down the basket they brought.

“Zuko, how much longer do we have?” Suki asked, knowing the firebender could feel the position of the sun in his bones.

“Maybe a minute or two more,” he answered.

“Looks like we made it just in time then!” Aang said. He sat down on the blanket, crossing his legs as he faced the ocean.

The others cuddled up on the blanket, huddling together to ward off the chilly air. They made sure to put Zuko in the center of the blanket so that everyone could steal his natural warmth.

“There it is!” Aang said, pointing up at the horizon.

The sky started to blend into a myriad of colors. The indigo melted into a rich blue before softening into gold and then a thick marmalade orange. The sun peeked out from over the horizon, and all of the rich colors in the sky shaped themselves into a breathtaking ombre. The sun’s light reflected off the turquoise waters, streaking a line of liquid gold down the top of the ocean. It was breathtaking.

“It’s beautiful,” Katara said. The sun reflected in her ocean-colored eyes as she stared at the sight in front of them.

“Yeah…” Sokka said breathlessly. “It really is.”

“No wonder you wake up so early, Sparky,” Toph said, nudging Zuko. “If you’re waking up to see whatever is making Sokka actually be quiet—even a minute, then it must really be good.”

However, Zuko couldn’t say anything. His eyes were glued to the sunrise in front of them. Although he’d seen it several times before, it was different watching it now. With friends.

He felt a weight on his shoulder and turned his head to see Katara resting his head on him. He kissed her forehead and stared into her eyes. They were full of wonder, and the reflection of the sunrise in them was more beautiful than the reflection against the water. Zuko wished he could stare into them forever.

As they watched the sunrise together, Zuko felt his heart pound harder. Seeing the sun against the water reminded him of his relationship with Katara. They balanced each other out; one didn’t overpower the other. They meshed into the other, blending seamlessly into a gorgeous sight. Together, they were beautiful. He wondered if their love was just as breathtaking.

After several minutes of watching the sun rise above the horizon and make its way towards the sky, the others grew restless.

“Katara, what did you pack?” Sokka asked. He reached over to grab the picnic basket on the corner of the blanket. “Anything good?”

“Uh…I think we have steamed plum buns, seaweed fritters, koi dumplings, ash-banana bread, and some fruit,” she said.

“Any seal jerky?” Sokka said, rummaging through the basket.

“No, I didn’t think to bring any,” Katara said with a shrug. Sokka groaned and passed the basket back to his sister.

Everyone loaded up their plates with the different food Katara and Zuko packed the night before. Zuko poured the pitcher of cherry almond moon milk—which he made after discovering it was one of Toph’s favorites—into different cups for everyone before passing them out.

“As much as I love the chefs,” Aang said, “there’s something about eating outside that just reminds me of the good ole days.”

“Oh, yeah, because in the middle of a war was the ‘good ole days,’” Toph said.

“Well, maybe not, but those adventures were fun!” Aang popped a piece of mango into his mouth. “You can’t lie. I know you missed traveling the world together.”

“The views were definitely nice,” Sokka said, taking a bite of a moon peach. “Especially when we were riding on Appa.”

“There were highs and lows,” Katara said. She leaned on Zuko slightly and rested against his arm. “Traveling together again would be a lot of fun, especially without the threat of people trying to kidnap or kill us.”

“Hear that, Sparky?” Toph blurted out, leaning towards Zuko’s side.

“Not really,” he said. “You’re on my left side, and I’m practically deaf in that ear.” He was met by a few chuckles as Toph punched his arm.

“We should totally travel again though!” Aang said, ignoring the other two. A large grin pulled at his cheeks, and his gray eyes brightened. “We can go and have more crazy adventures! Zuko can finally go penguin-sledding, and Toph can ride the elephant koi, and Suki can—”

“Slow down there,” Toph said. “We’re already on vacation, and I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t exactly be able to see very well on an elephant koi.”

Aang shrugged. “That’s just part of the fun!”

“We barely managed to pull off this vacation,” Suki said. “Do you know how hard it would be to manage that one?”

“I’m sure we could do it!”

“Maybe a little later,” Katara said. She reached over to put her hand on Aang’s shoulder. “When the world is a little more put-together.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” He waved a seaweed fritter in her direction before taking a bite.

“Yeah, we’ve still got a lot to do in the meantime,” Suki said. “Like trying to figure out negotiations between the Earth Kingdom councilors about the Fire Nation colonies.”

“I know,” Zuko groaned. “I’ve been trying to deal with that for weeks. The people have all built families at this point. They’re neither Fire Nation nor Earth Kingdom, so we can’t just pull away.” He ran a hand through his long hair. “I hope it’s taken care of soon.”

“Why are we talking about work?” Toph asked. “Aren’t we on vacation?”

“Technically, we’re on a business trip,” Suki said with a small chuckle.

“No, we’re not,” Toph said.

“The Fire Sages and council members don’t know that,” Zuko said.

“All I’m saying is we should be talking about anything but politics.” She leaned back, putting her head in Zuko’s lap. He put his hand on her head to pull on a strand of her hair affectionately. “We do that enough at home.”

“Speaking of ‘home,’ did your parents ever write back, Toph?” Katara asked.

“No.” Her voice was tinged with barely-disguised disappointment. “They still haven’t responded yet.”

“I’m sure they’ll write back soon,” Katara said, giving her a small smile.

“No, they won’t.” She grabbed her cup of moon milk. “I always get my hopes up, but they never do.”

The air grew still around them. However, Zuko gently tugged on a piece of Toph’s inky hair to pull her out of her disappointment and to break the awkward silence.

“Hey, don’t think like that,” he said. “It’s not going to get you anywhere. The only family you need is right here, anyway.”

Toph leaned up off Zuko’s lap and grinned at him. “Sounds like you need to hear the same thing, Sparky.” Her voice was light, but there was truth in the statement. She dramatically took a big gulp of her drink and pulled the cup away, revealing a light pink, milky mustache. She gave him a goofy face. Zuko laughed at her and used his thumb to wipe the milk off her upper lip.

“Speaking of,” Sokka said, “what do you plan on doing about Ozai?”

The awkward air returned, and Zuko stilled.

“What do you mean?”

“You are…going to punish him, right?” Sokka asked.

Zuko dipped his eyes down. All his previous laughter had disappeared. “I told you last night. It’s not going to matter much anyway.”

“He screwed you over,” he said. “Don’t you think he needs to pay?”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.” His golden eyes still faced his lap. There was a seriousness on his face that the others hadn’t seen in a little while.

“Come on,” Sokka begged. “This could be really helpful for you.”

“Zuko’s right though,” Aang said. “I mean, revenge isn’t going to do anything except make it worse for him. It’s a two-sided sword. You’re only hurting yourself if you go through with it, Zuko.”

“As much as I agree that Ozai deserves some sort of retribution, this isn’t your decision,” Katara told the boys. “It’s Zuko’s. And if he doesn’t want to, then we can’t force him to.”

“He’s in prison anyway,” Suki said. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“Prison isn’t enough,” Sokka snapped. “If someone did that to my kid…Zuko, what did your mom say when she found out?”

Zuko was silent for a few moments. However, Sokka’s bright blue eyes never left Zuko’s face. He waited expectantly for an answer.

“She-she, uh…she doesn’t know.”

Sokka’s eyes tripled in size. “She— _what?_ Why not?”

“She was already gone by then!” Zuko shouted. “What was I supposed to do?”

“But you’ve seen her since! Why didn’t you tell her?”

“How am I supposed to tell her something like that?” Zuko’s voice was full of anger, but it was tinged with shame.

“Zuko, you’ve got to tell her!”

“ _No.”_ He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on them. He laced his hands through his scalp. “I can’t just…I just _can’t_ , okay?”

“Zuko—”

“Guys, shut up!” Toph shouted. “He said he doesn’t want to talk about it, so just drop it!” She sighed loudly. “This was supposed to be a fun, family-friendly outing.”

“You’re right,” Sokka said. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“It’s okay,” Zuko said. But his voice was shaky.

Katara knew what that meant. It wasn’t okay, but he didn’t want to harbor any hurt feelings and risk losing a friend. She reached up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck soothingly. She felt him relax under her touch.

“We’re on the beach to relax, not argue,” Katara said, trying to distract the others. “The sun’s up high enough to go have some fun.”

“You’re right,” Toph said. “I want to hear Sparky wipe out on the surfboard again.” He shoved her to the side, but she shoved him back, laughing.

Despite the teasing, Katara saw the small smile on Zuko’s face. She thanked all the spirits that were listening for their sibling-like relationship and Toph’s ability to distract him.

* * *

It was almost noon, but they still had yet to leave the beach for lunch yet. The coast had finally filled up with other people, but the Gaang didn’t mind.

Zuko sat on the blanket they brought earlier, soaking in the sunshine. He loved the comfort that the sun provided him with. He wondered if this was the same feeling Katara got from the moonlight.

Looking out, he saw his friends out further towards the ocean. Sokka and Aang were knee-deep in the water, splashing each other and cackling. Suki watched them from afar, laughing as Sokka tripped and fell face-first into the saltwater.

Further, towards the right, Toph was sitting in the sand. She had a few leftover slices of ash-banana bread, and she was ripping them into several pieces to share with the seagull-crabs. Seeing her feed them made Zuko smile. He didn’t think she liked feeding the turtle-ducks with him (every time they sat near the pond together, she always teased him for being too soft), but maybe she enjoyed it more than she let on.

He was about to go over to sit with her when he felt the blanket shift on his left. Not hearing the movement, Zuko turned his head to see Katara sitting down next to him.

“Hey,” he said.

“What are you doing all the way over here?” she asked. “Everyone else is having fun near the water.” She nudged his rib gently. “And don’t even tell me you’re trying to tan, since you’re too pale to be telling the truth.”

He smiled. “Maybe that why I was tanning,” he joked. “Because I know I’m pale.”

She giggled. “Considering firebenders don’t get sunburns, I’m surprised your skin’s as light as it is. Why don’t you tan?”

Zuko shrugged. “Genetics, I guess.”

“So why are you up here all alone?” she asked again.

“I was just enjoying the sun,” he admitted.

Katara smiled and rolled. “You can enjoy the sun from down there too.” She laid her head down on Zuko’s shoulder, and he didn’t bother suppressing his smile. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Why?”

“From earlier,” she said. “I know Sokka can be kinda…pushy sometimes.”

“He’s still nowhere as stubborn as Toph though,” Zuko said. “And if I can deal with her, then Sokka's no problem.”

“Still,” Katara said. She traced over Zuko’s muscular arms with her soft fingertips. Her natural scent mixed with saltwater. It fit her so well, and it made his head dizzy with love.

“What Aang said earlier kind of bothered me,” he admitted.

“Hmm?” Katara said wordlessly.

“About not getting revenge. I mean, it’s not like I _want_ to go out of my way to hurt him. But…I don’t know. He does deserve punishment. I…I don’t know.” He brought his knees up and balanced his arms on them.

Katara brought her fingers from his arm to his hand. When she reached it, she laced her fingers through his. “I get what you mean. It’s like you know that punishing him won’t do anything, but maybe it’ll make you feel better…even a little bit.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m not a complete pacifist like Aang is. I never was, and I doubt I ever will be.” He stared off into the ocean, watching as Sokka tackled Aang into the water playfully. He chuckled humorlessly. “I’m guessing this is what you felt like when he kept bugging you about forgiving Yon Rha.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t understand. He was raised to believe that people can just let go of any hard feelings, but it’s not that easy.” She squeezed his hand gently. “I’m honestly just grateful that he didn’t start pressuring you about forgiving your dad. I would’ve water-whipped him into the next Avatar cycle.”

“Oh, I would’ve been pissed,” Zuko admitted. “I’m glad he’s got enough sense not to say that though.”

She stood up. “Want to come down to the coast and hang out with the others?”

“Sure,” he said. He stood up off the blanket, his hand still in hers. “I’m not surfing with you again though,” he said. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“That’s okay with me, but I didn’t want you brooding alone.”

“I wasn’t brooding!”

“And I’m not a wild hog-monkey.”

Zuko nudged her playfully, and she pushed him back.

Spirits, he loved this girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ember Island episodes (both "The Beach" and "The Ember Island Players") were two of my favorite episodes from the series. I had to pay tribute to them and include some chapters that take place on the island. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) I'm excited for you to meet Zuko's soon-to-be, makeshift counselor in the upcoming chapters too! I've had it planned for a little while now, and I can't wait to start putting it into action!


	26. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Katara helps Zuko try to cope, he helps her to find a place for herself as well.

The vacation didn’t last as long as they wanted it to. Before they knew it, they were back in Royal Caldera City. Until then, Katara didn’t realize how much she missed her space. The Southern Water Tribe always had a lack of privacy that she had grown accustomed to, and the palace was full of guards, servants, and handmaids that watched her every move. However, she didn’t realize how nice it was to have her own space every once in a while—with just her and her friends—until she left Ember Island.

Her mind was running faster than she imagined possible. Being back at the palace, especially after the newfound information, made it harder to cope with everything she learned. She wondered how many secrets laid within the walls.

She needed to talk to someone about what she was feeling. Pushing her bedroom door open, she hurried down the corridors to Zuko’s bedroom. The guards stationed outside his door nodded to her respectfully as she entered.

She smiled as she saw the sight.

He was asleep, curled up on his side with his hair loose and fanned out against his pillow. His lips were parted ever so slightly, and he looked so relaxed.

Katara knew he had a bad nightmare the night before, and she was grateful he took her advice about taking a nap. Smiling to herself, she decided to leave him alone to sleep before accidentally waking him up.

She hurried out quietly, careful as to not make a noise. However, as soon as she left, she found her feet carrying her across the hallways to a door she hadn’t visited in a little while.

Knocking thrice, she waited for a response before pushing the door open. Aang was sitting on his bed, reading through a book she didn’t recognize.

“Check it out, Katara!” he said. His gray eyes were bright and full of wonder as he held up the book he was holding. One of the pages was covered in small print, and the other had a printed painting of three Air Nomads surrounded by several sky bison.

“What is it?” she asked. She sat down on his bed beside him, peeking over his shoulder to look at the book.

“I found it in the library behind a hidden compartment. It’s some history from my people!” He flipped through the pages, revealing picture after picture. “There’s things in here I didn’t even know about! Did you know that Avatar Yangchen almost married one of the Fire Sages?”

“I’m surprised that the Fire Nation palace has this,” she said. “What other books were in there?”

“There was one on the Dancing Dragon, a few on the Earth Kingdom, and I think there was a journal as well.” Aang smiled. “But this one looked the most interesting!”

When he noticed that Katara didn’t show the same enthusiasm, he gave her a confused look. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah. I’m just…just a little stressed, I guess.”

“About what?” He closed the book and looked over at her, giving her his full attention. “Even though you’re with Zuko, you can still talk to me about anything. You’re one of my best friends. You know that.”

Katara smiled. “Thanks, Aang.”

“So what’s up?” He laid on his stomach and stretched his legs out. Propping his chin on his fists, he watched her with an intensity that she had grown used to after traveling with him for so long.

“Honestly, I’m so worried,” Katara said. “I’m worried about Zuko, about taking care of everyone, about what’s going to happen when we have to split up again.” She played with the tips of her hair in nervousness. “I’m just worried about everything.”

“Outside of the vacation we just took, have you taken any time for yourself recently?” he asked. Her hesitation was enough of an answer for him. “That’s a ‘no.’ You need to do something for yourself every once in a while.”

“I feel like I don’t ever have the time to.”

“You have to _make_ the time. The palace has that nice spa that Sokka keeps going to. You should visit it sometime.”

“Do…do I want to know why Sokka goes?” Katara asked.

Aang shrugged. “He likes the cucumber water.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“The point is that you need to take time for yourself every once in a while. We’re all finding the time to do something for ourselves. Sokka goes to the spa for cucumber water and the sauna, I like to explore the palace, Toph messes with the guards, Zuko feeds the turtleducks in the garden, and Suki likes to spar in the courtyard. You’re the only one who doesn’t have a hobby and an area to yourself.”

“Would it…would it be bad if I did something for myself?”

“Of course not!” Aang squawked. “You work the hardest of all of us. You deserve time to yourself every once in a while, especially since you spend so much time taking care of everyone else.”

“Okay…” Katara said slowly. She felt bad about doing something for herself, as if she were being selfish by not giving her full attention to others. “If you insist.”

“Trust me, Katara,” Aang said. He smiled at her to comfort her. “It’ll really help you.”

She nodded. “Okay, I’ll try it. Thanks, Aang.”

“No problem!” His bright demeanor was infectious, and she found herself smiling too.

Maybe some time alone would do her some good, after all.

* * *

The next day after her meeting with some of the Fire Nation council members, Katara began exploring the palace for somewhere to relax by herself. She wanted a place all to herself, somewhere that was hers and hers alone. She didn’t realize how hard that would be to find.

The palace was certainly larger than she had expected, and she found herself getting lost on more occasions than she dared to admit. She found several interesting locations, including the library, the undercroft, some of the spare bed chambers, the tower room, and even an old meeting hall with the most gorgeous stained-glass windows. However, as much as she liked them all in their own ways, none of them were a good fit for her.

Later that week, she laid on her side in her boyfriend’s bed. Zuko curled his body around her, one of his arms flung lazily over her and his other hand in her hair. She stared out at the wall in front of them as they spooned.

“What’s wrong, Kat?” Zuko asked. He kissed the side of her neck. “You’re really distant.”

“I was talking to Aang, and he told me that everyone had their own way to cope, everyone except me.” She flipped over to face him. “And they all have their own places in the palace to go to escape.”

Zuko smiled and kissed her forehead. “And you want a place too?”

“Is that selfish of me?”

“No! Of course not!” He held her tightly. The smell of campfires enveloped her, and she felt her muscles relax against his touch. “You do so much for everyone. You need a break too.”

“I just feel bad about it,” Katara mumbled against Zuko’s chest.

“Do you mind that I go off to sit near the pond in the garden?”

“No, why would that bother me?”

“What about when Suki goes into the courtyard?”

“No.”

“Then, why would you be any different?”

“I don’t know,” Katara huffed. “I feel like I should be there for whenever people need me. I can’t do that if I’m off in my own part of the palace on the completely different side of the building.”

Zuko kissed her forehead again. “We would still know where to find you. And it’s okay if you can’t be there at every waking moment. There are so many of us in the group that if someone ever needs something, you aren’t the only one that they can go to. Plus, there’s a lot of guards, and servants, and people around the palace to help as well.” He kissed her nose. “Please, don’t stress yourself out trying to take everyone’s responsibilities on your own.”

Zuko ran his fingers through Katara’s chocolatey waves. “Do you want a place for yourself in the palace? Besides your bedroom, I mean.”

“I mean…it’d be nice, I guess.”

He smiled. “Follow me.”

She quirked her eyebrow up before slipping off the bed wordlessly. She wrapped herself in a satin robe and followed Zuko out of his room.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“It’s a surprise,” he said. “But watch where we’re going. That way you remember the way and can come back here whenever you want.”

“I already explored the palace and looked for a place,” she said. She felt his hand grab hers. It was warm like sunshine. His calloused fingers were much larger than Katara’s soft ones, but she didn’t mind. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

“I can almost guarantee that you didn’t find this place,” Zuko said.

“Oh, really?” Katara raised an eyebrow as she smirked at the boy. “Are you second-guessing my exploring abilities?”

“No,” he said, pushing open a door. “I just know that this isn’t exactly the most well-known place in the palace.

As she stepped into the room, she was met by three rows of long, wooden tables. Several crimson tapestries with the Fire Nation emblem lined the room, and the lanterns strung up on the walls made the room glow.

“I’ve already seen this room,” Katara said. “I know you don’t use it for banquets or meetings anymore, but—”

“I’m not trying to show you this room.” Zuko dropped Katara’s hand and walked over to the wall. He pushed one of the tapestries out of the way to reveal a metal door.

“Oh.” Katara walked hesitantly over to where he was standing, staring at the door. “I didn’t realize…”

“Yeah, it’s pretty well-hidden, but it’s always unlocked. Come on.” He opened the door and held it open for her.

Together, they walked down a staircase made of nothing but carved rock. The staircase was tight and winding, but Katara’s curiosity was stronger than her fear or paranoia.

When they reached the bottom of the staircase, she froze. Her eyes widened in awe.

“Oh…Zuko…”

The walls were made of the same dark stone that the stairs were made of, making the room look darker than it really was. Light blue and green crystals—aquamarines and quartz—adorned the ceiling and the walls, providing the black area with splashes of color. However, the thing that really captured her attention was the large waterfall in the center of the room. It showered down into a pond large enough to swim in. There were lights underneath the pond, making the water glow.

“It’s beautiful…” Katara said breathlessly.

“It’s from an aquifer that runs directly next to the palace,” Zuko said. “However, it’s right above one of the bunkers, so the lanterns from the ceiling make the water glow from the bottom.”

“How did you…how…” She couldn’t seem to put her thoughts into words. It was just so magnificent.

Zuko chuckled. “I was actually planning a date with you here. But I figured you needed it now instead. So…uh, surprise, I guess?”

Katara giggled and kissed Zuko’s cheek. “I love it. It’s perfect. Better than anything I could’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Is it really okay?”

“Yes! It’s amazing! I couldn’t imagine a better place for just…just me.”

Zuko smiled, seeing the joy in her eyes. “I’m glad you like it.”

She tugged on his hand. “Come swim with me!”

“Kat, it’s already late.”

“Never stopped me before!” She tore off her robe and nightgown until she was left in just her bindings. “Come on!” She dove into the water before bending a stream upwards.

Zuko smiled, pulled off his own robe, and jumped in behind her.

* * *

Ever since showing Katara the aquifer and underground waterfall, Zuko noticed that she was more joyful, more laid-back, and less stressed around the palace. He knew that water always had calming effects on her and that swimming helped to soothe her, but he didn’t know the true amount until he saw it firsthand.

Seeing her happy made him smile.

However, while Katara felt herself getting better, Zuko found himself slipping into a mixture of anxiety and stress.

The Fire Sages and council members kept him busy with meetings, treaties, and plans to reconstruct the nations. However, the fear of disappointing everyone weighed down on him.

On top of that, it felt like everywhere he looked, he saw Ozai. His face was on the tapestry in the hallway, of course, but Zuko could feel his yellow eyes everywhere. In the walls, the vases, the artifacts. When he was trying to sleep, he could feel his presence.

He guessed it was because he’d spent so long away from the palace. After being banished at thirteen, he’d spent so much time away from the castle’s walls that he had a chance to heal. Now that he was back since the war was over, it made sense that the nightmares had returned.

Come to think of it, he remembered the nightmares returning tenfold when he returned to the palace with Azula after that fateful night in Ba Sing Se.

Zuko closed his eyes. He just wanted the anxiety to be gone. He didn’t want to feel his hands shake or his throat tighten anymore. No amount of feeding the turtleducks could soothe his fears.

After his meeting with some of the ambassadors from Omashu, Zuko disappeared into his bedroom. He knew that Katara was likely at the underground waterfall right now, so he had some time alone.

The thought scared him.

_Poor Zuko can’t even handle being alone. You’re weaker than I thought. What are you going to do when everyone you love dies, hmm? Then, you’ll really be alone._

_Or maybe you’re so much of a coward that you’ll just kill yourself first. Then, you’ll never have to deal with that._

_But how selfish you would be if you did that. Killing yourself just so that your friends would hurt instead of you. If I should even call them your “friends.” They’re only here because Aang needed a firebending master, and now, they feel too bad to leave._

Zuko bent the pillow around his ears to block out the noises in his head.

_Stop it. Stop it._

_You know I’m right. Don’t even try to hide it. You know you’re a weak, selfish, spineless coward who doesn’t really have any friends._

_Yes, I do. I have the best friends I could ever hope for and an amazing girlfriend._

_Maybe now, but not for long. Not when they see how screwed up you really are._

The voice was starting to sound less like the voice inside his head and more like Ozai. Zuko wanted to claw his ears off. He wanted to scream to block out the noise.

_Azula’s always been the better child. She’s the heir the Fire Nation deserves. You’re just a screw-up who can barely get his act together. You don’t deserve to be born._

_No, I deserve to be here just as much as she does._

_The more you tell yourself that, the more you’re really just lying to yourself._

_No. I’m not listening to you._

_Smack!_

_You will listen to me. You will obey me. I am the Fire Lord, the ruler of this nation. Do you know the power I wield?_

_The floor felt cold under his knees._

_I could throw you in prison for treason right now. Is that what you want? Do you want a life of prison cells and cockroach-rats for company?_

_His cheek burned from the slap._

_No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, Father._

_Do not beg. Royalty doesn’t beg._

_He wrapped his arms around his head to shield himself from the attack._

_Zuko, it’s okay._

_It’s okay._

_I’m here._

_Mom?_

_Ursa’s face was in front of him. Ozai’s was gone. Her soft, golden eyes replaced his pale yellow ones. They were full of warmth. Love._

_I’m here, my love. I’m not going to let him hurt you._

_He nodded._

_I love you, he said._

_I love you too._

* * *

“Zuko, you would’ve never guessed what happened!” Katara’s voice was chipper as she pushed the bedroom door open. Her hair was still damp from the water, but she paid it no attention. “I was practicing my waterbending when I…oh, La.”

She rushed towards him, kneeling on the bed next to him. Zuko’s eyes were open, but they were blank. They focused on nothing.

“Hey, Zuko, it’s okay,” she said. She held his hand and squeezed it gently, trying to ground him. “You’re with me right now. It’s just Katara. I’m going to keep you safe.”

She rubbed his palms with her fingertips, tracing small circles into the skin.

_I need to get him to the present._

“Zuko, baby, we’re in your current bedroom right now. The walls are light red, but your furniture is black.” She wasn’t sure if this was helping, but she was hoping that made if she could describe where he was, she could ground him.

“There’s a lot of papers on the desk in the corner,” she continued. “A lot of them are maps, but you also have a drawing from Sokka. It’s of a turtleduck, but I wouldn’t know that if he didn’t tell me. It has a lumpy head, and the shell looks more like a rock. It doesn’t even have a beak either.”

The glazed look in his eyes started to disappear slightly. Katara felt her hope skyrocket through her chest.

She continued for the next several minutes, describing everything she laid her eyes on. She also rubbed the throw blanket on his palm, trying to use the different texture to bring him back.

However, after several minutes, it worked. Zuko blinked several times, and his responses were slow, but he was okay.

He was okay.

“You dissociated again,” Katara whispered as she held him against her. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m just anxious,” Zuko admitted. “There’s just…a lot going on.”

She hugged him tighter. “I know,” she said. “It’s going to get better though.”

A knock on the door tore them out of their conversation. They gave each other an odd look before Zuko slid off the bed. He walked to the bedroom door and opened it. A guard stood at the entrance, his emotions impossible to distinguish.

“Fire Lord Zuko, you have a visitor waiting for you in the throne room,” he said.

“Thank you,” Zuko said. “I’ll be there in just a moment.” The guard bowed respectfully and exited to allow Zuko a minute to prepare.

“That’s weird,” Katara said, still sitting in his bed.

“I know,” he said. “I didn’t think I had any more meetings today.”

“Well, whatever it is, good luck.” Katara got off Zuko’s bed and kissed his cheek. “You’re going to be okay.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “I'll see you at dinner!”

Zuko nodded. He fixed his topknot quickly before disappearing down the hallway to the throne room.

Pushing the door open, he noticed a figure standing in the center of the room and staring at the decorations on the walls. Zuko raised his right eyebrow in surprise.

“King Kuei?” Zuko tried to disguise his shock with a bow. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t expect you. I don’t remember us having a meeting today.”

“I’m not here for the kind of meeting you think.” Kuei gave him a tight smile. “Iroh sent me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if that's who you were expecting, but ta-da! I'm super excited for his and Zuko's upcoming development, so stay tuned! :)


	27. Therapy Sessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko talks with Kuei and learns why Iroh chose him as a mentor.

“I…I don’t understand.”

“What is there to not understand?” Kuei gave Zuko a gentle smile. “Surely, your uncle told you he had called for me.”

“He told me that he wrote letters, but he…he didn’t say who.” Zuko felt his legs turn weak. He grabbed the wall to steady himself.

_Don’t fall over. Don’t fall over._

“Oh…then, it must be quite a surprise.”

“Yeah...yes, it is.”

_Don’t collapse. Not right now._

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said, “but I…I really can’t start…”

Kuei nodded. “I understand. You probably need some time to come to terms with everything. We can talk whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said. He tried to bow to the older man, but it came out shaky and unstable. _Agni, Zuko, get a grip._ “Do you need a room to stay for the night?”

“I actually made reservations in a nearby inn already. And they allow Bosco to come in!”

“That’s…good?”

“Indeed!” Kuei grinned. “Now, I can leave you alone if you’d like. You look a little…uh…surprised, for a lack of a better term.”

“Yeah,” Zuko said breathlessly. “Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome,” Kuei said. “Would you like me to return tomorrow afternoon? Or would you rather more time?”

“No, uh, tomorrow should be fine,” Zuko said. “I have a meeting at two, but I should be free by four.”

“Splendid,” Kuei said. “I’ll see you at four then.” He bowed to Zuko, who bowed back.

“Yes, I, uh, I’ll see you then,” Zuko said. However, his mind was elsewhere. He didn’t register the door shutting behind him or the feeling of his knees hitting the floor.

_It’s Kuei. It’s Kuei. It’s Kuei. Oh, Agni, what does he know? What did Uncle tell him? Oh, spirits, he knows. He knows everything. He must, otherwise, he wouldn’t be here. Agni._

His head spun. He closed his eyes to ward off the dizziness, but a wave of nausea hit him immediately. He grabbed a wastebasket in the corner of the room just as he felt the bile rise up and surge out of his throat.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t see anything except Kuei’s pale green eyes. The thought combined with citrus and black pepper, and Zuko immediately threw up into the trash can again.

The knock on the door didn’t register, and neither did the sound of someone sitting next to him on the obsidian floor. A hand touched his back, and Zuko immediately cowered away from its touch. However, the fingers were light and gentle. They rubbed comforting circles into his robes. Zuko took a deep breath.

“Zuko, are you feeling okay?”

_Katara. It’s just Katara. It’s okay._

“Kuei.”

“What?”

“It’s Kuei. He…he’s the guy that Iroh sent. But I guess you already know that. I _did_ just say his name.”

“He seems really nice,” Katara said. She pushed Zuko’s hair out of his face. It stuck to his forehead slightly. “And if Uncle Iroh trusts him, then I’m sure he’ll be really good for you.”

Zuko shook his head. “He probably already knows. He’s got to know.”

“Your uncle wouldn’t tell your life story to people without your consent.”

“How else would he have gotten him here?”

“Zuko…just breathe.”

He sighed. He could feel his hands shaking, and he buried them in his lap. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really stressed.”

“You have too much anxiety for as young as you are,” Katara joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize for it.” She leaned over to kiss his temple. “You’re going to be okay, and talking to him is going to be really good for you.”

“How are you so sure?” Zuko asked.

“Because I trust Iroh,” she said. She gave him a soft smile and reached into his lap to squeeze his hand. “I trust that he picked someone who will help you to move past this. I have faith in him, and you should too.”

He exhaled shakily and nodded. “Okay…I will.”

* * *

“So is there anything you want to start with?”

…

“Has anything happened recently that’s made it worse?”

…

“Fire Lord Zuko, this isn’t going to work if you don’t talk to me.”

“I don’t…” Zuko sighed. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Okay, well then, why don’t you ask me something first?” Kuei said. He gave Zuko a gentle smile as he leaned forward slightly.

“How…how much did Uncle tell you?” Zuko looked up at him nervously. He knew the fear was evident in his golden eyes, but he didn’t care. He had to know.

“The only thing he told me is that something happened to you when you were younger, and now, it’s affecting you again.”

“That’s…that’s all he said?”

Kuei nodded. “That’s all he said.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Is there anything else you want to ask me?” he asked. He leaned over to grab his cup of water off the table.

“I don’t know what else to ask.” Zuko dipped his gaze down. He felt his discomfort growing immensely. _Agni, Uncle, what were you thinking?_

“Well, what are you thinking, at least?”

_About how my uncle really thought I needed a shrink._

“I don’t know. I’ve never had a therapist.”

“Don’t think of me as a therapist. Think of me as…I don’t know…a mentor!” Kuei smiled. “I’m here because Iroh says my life experiences will help you.”

Zuko brought his gaze up to the other man. His pale green eyes were bright, almost as chipper as Aang’s.

“King Kuei?”

“You don’t have to put a label on it,” he said, swallowing his water. “If I’m going to be your mentor, then I want you to be comfortable with me.”

“If I can call you ‘Kuei,’ then you should just call me ‘Zuko.’”

“I can do that.”

“Can you…I don’t want to talk about…me right now,” Zuko said.

“Would you rather if I tell you about my life first? I can do that if you want.”

Zuko’s throat felt tight. He nodded to get his point across, not trusting his own voice.

“Where should I start?” Kuei asked himself. “After my father died, I took the throne. However, because I was only four, it was decided that I should have a regent. That was when I met Long Feng. He took over the country while I was excluded from the government.

“However, as I grew older, I wanted more responsibility. After all, this was my kingdom, and I wanted to play a bigger part than I was at the time. So I demanded to know what was going on. I wanted to sit in on the meetings. I didn’t want to be a figurehead, but the king I was supposed to be.

“Unfortunately, Long Feng felt threatened. He pressured me to keep my mouth shut, and it wasn’t until I promised to revoke his position that things began to spiral. To keep me quiet, he forced himself on me. I was only twelve or thirteen at the time.”

Zuko stiffened. His chest grew tight, and his throat grew tighter. He could feel the flashbacks trying to come back, but he willed them away. “How…how can you talk about this so easily?” he asked.

“Because I’ve grown,” Kuei said. “I’ve come to terms with it, and I’ve found my own ways to cope. Now, I can stand to talk about it without it hurting as much as it used to.” Kuei smiled. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes!” He took a sip of his water before putting it back on the table.

“It really destroyed me, and I became…really just a shell of myself. Long Feng used that time to gaslight me, lie to me, and just break me down until I no longer trusted myself. He told me that the other government officials were worse and that he was protecting me from them. And I was so broken that I believed him. He kept his position as Grand Secretariat and my advisor, and I kept to myself.

“His manipulation only grew worse over time, and I no longer wanted to be in the company of others. I didn’t trust anyone anymore, so I found myself around animals. That was how I got Bosco.” Kuei reached out to pet the bear’s large, fuzzy head. “He was my only real friend. And many people are scared of bears, so I felt safer with him around. He became my emotional support animal.” He reached his arms out to hug the bear’s neck.

“It wasn’t until I met the Avatar and his friends that I finally grew the courage to see past Long Feng’s manipulation. I’d been letting him gaslight me for so long that I’d forgotten that it was never from a place of empathy or care like he’d made me believe.” Kuei pet Bosco’s head, smiling as the bear groaned. “I mean, the Avatar was just a boy, and he was about the same age as I was when Long Feng first took advantage of me. If he could speak out against him, then so could I.”

“How long did it take? For you to…you know…get better?” Zuko asked. He didn’t know how to word it, but he hoped that Kuei understood what he was asking.

“It took a long time,” Kuei admitted. “I didn’t have a support system outside of Bosco, and my abuser was still there with me.” He smiled at the younger man. “I’m hoping you’ll have an easier time than I did.”

“That’s why Uncle chose you,” Zuko mumbled, more to himself than to Kuei. However, the Earth King heard him anyway. However, he chose not to interrupt.

Zuko looked back at Kuei. His eyes flashed with a hundred different emotions. He didn’t know how to react.

“I…I was raped too.” The words felt strange on his tongue. “I was raped,” he repeated.

Kuei nodded. “How old were you?”

“Eleven.”

“So we were roughly the same age.”

“Yeah…I guess we were.” _Of course. Iroh did his research._

The two sat in silence for a few moments before Kuei leaned forward slightly.

“Zuko, I hope you know this wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m coming to terms with it now,” he admitted.

“But I want you to hear it again. It’s not your fault, and it never was. And I’m going to tell you that a lot these next few weeks, so you’d better get used to it.” Zuko smiled, and it made Kuei’s own playful smirk turn into a joyful grin. 

“Thanks,” Zuko said.

“Now,” Kuei said, leaning forward. “What else do you want me to know?”

* * *

“How did it go?” Katara pulled the tie out of Zuko’s hair and ruffled the strands, letting them all fall down to his shoulders. It was getting so long, and she loved it. It was so soft and silky, and she loved playing with it.

“It went okay,” Zuko said as he relaxed into Katara’s touch. “He’s nicer than I thought he would be.”

“That’s good! Do you know how often you’ll meet up?”

“A couple of times a week,” he answered. “He has one of his advisors taking care of the Earth Kingdom while he’s gone.”

Katara’s eyes narrowed. “It isn’t Long Feng, is it?”

“No! No, it isn’t.” Zuko’s stomach twisted inside him. The conversation with Kuei came back full force. He remembered watching _The Boy in the Iceberg_ play with his friends and seeing a man with a balding head and facial hair alongside the Earth King character and another man in a bear suit. He knew that the Gaang knew Long Feng, but they must not have known about the sexual assault. He didn’t know how that made him feel.

“Okay, good.” Katara let her hands fall down to her sides before wrapping around Zuko’s waist from behind. She kissed the shell of his ear and giggled when he let out a little, content noise. “Anything else come out of your first conversation? I don’t want to push you if you don’t want to, but I also want to let you talk about it if you want.”

Zuko shook his head, trying to swallow back the memory of Long Feng from the play. “No, that’s really it. Not much happened. What about you? How was swimming with Aang and Suki?”

Katara’s face lit up immediately. “It was wonderful! I know I said I needed a place to myself, but they both said they respect my decision to keep the area mine.” She rested her cheek against Zuko’s back. “Swimming was so much fun! It reminded me of the days when Aang and I would swim together after waterbending lessons.”

“I’m glad you had fun today,” Zuko said. He looked behind himself to see Katara hugging him. The sight made his heart leap with joy and his cheeks turn red.

Things were getting better. He just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuei's backstory has been revealed! I like to think of Long Feng as the Mother Gothel of the Avatar series, an abuser who uses manipulation to keep his power. Hopefully, I was able to portray a believable backstory.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I've got a few more ideas up my sleeve, and the more I write, the more they keep coming. :)


	28. Comes in Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Zuko's self-deprecating thoughts come back, he finds catharsis with King Kuei and Katara.

“Come on, Zuko! It’s not fair that you’re spending more time with him than with us!”

“Don’t you want me to get better?”

“I mean, of course, but at the cost of our friendship? Sorry, Zuko, but I’d rather you be screwed up for life.” Sokka draped his hand over his forehead dramatically, and Zuko elbowed him in the ribs. However, the two laughed like it was the funniest thing they’d heard all day. Maybe it was.

“Sokka’s right though,” Aang said. “We haven’t gotten to see you very often. I mean, half the time, you eat your meals in your office now, so even that’s not a trustworthy source.”

“Yeah, you’ve got to hang out with us more!” Sokka flung his arm over Zuko’s shoulder. “I suggest we have a guys’ day.”

“A guys’ day?”

“Yeah! You know how Katara, Suki, and Toph hang out alone all the time? Why don’t we do the same?”

“I think we should!” Aang’s face split into a smile. “And you need the break.”

“Well, it can’t be today,” Zuko said. “I have a meeting in an hour with the Fire Sages, and I’m meeting with Kuei after that.”

“Okay, well, what about tomorrow?” Aang asked.

“Council meeting,” Zuko said. “You’ll be there too, remember?”

“Oh. Right.”

“We’re going to cancel all your meetings one day,” Sokka said. “It’ll be completely out of the blue, but you’ll have no choice but to agree.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Even if you don’t tell me until the day of, please give them a heads-up at least.”

“I’ll think about it,” Sokka joked. “Depends on how much they’ve been stealing you away.”

* * *

A few days later, the suicidal and self-deprecating thoughts came back tenfold. Zuko wanted to hide in his bedroom all day underneath his covers, but he knew it would only make him feel worse. Plus, he had duties to take care of. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t ignore them.

After one of his meetings, he found himself staying in his office. He snuffed the light from the candle on the desk and pulled the curtains closed. The room was dark, but Zuko didn’t care. That was how he wanted it.

When Katara found him after coming to the office to let him know that dinner was almost ready, she froze immediately.

He was curled in on himself, huddled in the corner of the room. His arms covered his head in a protective manner, and his legs were tucked under himself. She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t need to in order to know that his eyes were likely red-rimmed.

She put a hand on his back cautiously. “Hey, baby,” she whispered. She moved her hand slowly, rubbing circles into his spine. “Is everything okay?”

Zuko didn’t answer, but he did loosen up. He pulled his arms off of his head, and his shoulders slumped slightly at her touch.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” she said. She moved one of her hands up to push the hair out of Zuko’s face. The raven strands had fallen from the topknot, and she knew he’d have to fix it before he went anywhere. “You’ve been eating alone recently. Do you want to eat with us?”

He nodded slowly, but he didn’t make an effort to sit upright. Katara felt her heart sting with sadness, but she didn’t want to push the Fire Lord too far either. However, she was truthfully just grateful he wasn’t dissociating again.

She rubbed his back as he came back to his senses. It took a few minutes to pull himself out of his head, and even when he did, he still had an odd look on his face.

“Are you feeling a little better?”

“A little,” he croaked. His voice was raw. Her heart sank.

“Did you have a panic attack?”

He nodded. “Earlier.”

“Do you know what set it off?” Her hand moved from his back to his palm. She traced the lines imprinted into his hands soothingly.

“The thoughts are coming back,” he admitted. Katara made a quiet, sad noise that was barely muffled by her closed lips. She kept rubbing his hand as she waited for him to continue. However, he didn’t say anything else.

“It’s going to get better,” Katara said after a few moments of silence. “You’ve put in so much effort to help yourself. You’ve been talking to us and opening up to King Kuei, and I’m very proud of you.”

“I’m going to tell him at our meeting tomorrow,” Zuko said. “It hasn’t been this bad in a while.”

“Did anything cause them?” she inquired, still rubbing his hands.

“Not that I know of.”

Katara leaned over to hug him. “It’s going to be okay,” she said. She held him until his breathing calmed down, and when she pulled away, the sad, hollow look on his face had mostly disappeared. “Do you want to come get dinner with the rest of us?” she asked.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

* * *

“The thoughts are coming back,” Zuko said. “They’re worse than they’ve been in a while, and they came out of nowhere.”

“Katara told me that she saw you in your office on the floor,” Kuei said. He was petting Bosco’s head, and the sleeping bear ignored him completely. “Were you dissociating?”

“No, I wasn’t. I had a panic attack though.” Zuko ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s just…I felt like I was doing so well, and now…it’s like three steps back.”

“Healing isn’t a linear process. You’re going to have good days and bad days.”

“I thought the mostly bad days were over though.”

“Sometimes, they come randomly, even when you think you were doing well.” Kuei leaned forward in the chair slightly. “When I first took my throne back—the position, not the title, I was in the same place. I felt like I was doing so well, and then what happened? My motivation dipped. My anxiety increased. I was having doubts about what I was doing. And it was a challenge, but I managed to get myself back on the right track.”

“How did you do it?” Zuko asked.

“I found healthy coping mechanisms,” Kuei said. “I hung out with animals more and wrote letters and journal entries to mark my moods for each day. By putting my energy into hobbies and things that I knew would help me, I felt better each day forward.”

“I can’t even find the motivation to do that some days,” Zuko admitted.

“And sometimes, it’s hard. But if you can push through and do it anyway—whether you feel like it or not, you’ll feel a lot better for it.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay, I’ll try that.”

“I know you like to feed the turtleducks,” Kuei said. “What else?”

“I like sparring,” he answered. “It’s different when it’s not life or death.”

Kuei nodded and smiled. “To each his own.”

“It’s really fun,” Zuko said. “Once you get used to it, it’s not scary or anything.”

“That’s fair.” Bosco rolled over slightly, and Kuei scratched the side of his ear. “How have your nightmares been recently?”

“They’ve still been really bad,” Zuko admitted.

“Still the same dream?”

He nodded. “Did you get nightmares too?”

“Every night,” Kuei answered.

“How did you…I don’t know…get past them?”

“Well, it wasn’t an easy fix, if that’s what you’re hoping,” Kuei brought his hand away from Bosco and dropped it into his lap. “I spent years having nightmares and losing sleep. Even after Long Feng was gone, the fear that he would come back was still there.”

“But it got better?”

“It did,” Kuei said, nodding. “Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do except to wait it out.”

“If I don’t meditate, the nightmares get worse,” Zuko said. “Same goes for if I don’t get much sleep the night before.”

“I’m glad you were able to pick up on that,” Kuei said. “It’s good that you’re aware of your body, even despite everything you’re going through right now.”

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” He put his arms on the table and rested his chin on them. “It’s just hard because it’s the same thing every time. It’s either the Agni Kai or my father abusing me.” His gaze dropped down to the table. He focused on a scratch imprinted in the wood from when Sokka carved it up accidentally. “You’d think I’d get over it by now, given that it’s always the same thing, but it doesn’t make it any less terrifying.”

Kuei nodded. “It’s hard to remember that it’s all in your head now, and when you’re sleeping, it feels like you can’t control it.”

“I talked to Aang a few days ago about it, and he told me that he’s been able to lucid dream. He thinks if I can induce lucid dreaming, then I might be able to cope with the nightmares. But I’ve tried, and it doesn’t work,” Zuko lifted his chin off his arms. “It’s like my body is frozen, and I can’t get out.”

“I’ve never been able to lucid dream either, if it makes you feel any better,” Kuei said with a small smile. “Some of my advisors told me about it—especially the deeply spiritual ones, but I could never do it myself.” He crossed his fingers together and balanced his wrists and arms on the table. “I’ve noticed you saying the word ‘abuse’ more when we have these meetings.”

“Is…is that a bad thing?”

“No, quite the opposite, really.” Kuei nodded. “You’re telling it like it is. By saying it’s abuse, then it detracts any blame that you might try to put on yourself.”

“I’ve been telling myself it’s not my fault more often,” Zuko said, “just like you told me to do whenever the thoughts start coming back.”

“It sounds like it’s working. Do you think it is?”

“I mean, I thought so until these past two or three days. Now, it’s like no matter how often I tell myself it isn’t my fault, the thoughts don’t stop.” Zuko took a breath, gathering his thoughts before he continued. “Now, it’s like I’m reverting back to how I was.”

“If you can make it past this moment—and I know you will—then you’re going to come out so much stronger,” Kuei said. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.”

“It may be hard to see now, but it’s the truth.” Kuei scratched a spot next to Bosco’s ear, and the animal squirmed slightly, waking up with the movement. “You just need to push past these thoughts right now.”

Zuko nodded. “I’m trying.”

“That’s all I can ask for.” Kuei smiled at the younger man. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“One of…uh…I…” Zuko stumbled over his words. His mind was spinning. _How do I even ask this?_

Kuei waited patiently for Zuko to figure out what he needed to ask. He didn’t say anything, and instead, he rubbed Bosco’s fur while the boy took his time.

“When I was younger, I…uh, well…most of the soldiers I met, they said that…that sexual assault and rape and things like that…they, uh, only happened to peasants and victims of war. Like soldiers would go through different cities and rape the women, but that it wasn’t something that happened outside of that.”

Kuei nodded. He removed his hand from Bosco’s head and relaxed it on the table instead.

“That was the main fear that Father used to keep me silent. It wasn’t something that happened in…in royal families. People didn’t want a leader who…who was weak.”

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“No! No, of course not!”

“Then, why do you think it would make you weak?”

“I’m…slowly coming to terms that it doesn’t…” Zuko admitted.

“You were a kid. There’s no way you would’ve been able to fight him off,” Kuei said. “And even if you were older—maybe even the age you are now, that doesn’t change the fact that he saw a moment where you were at your weakest, and he took advantage of it.” He leaned forward slightly. “Can I ask you something?” Zuko nodded. “You were eleven when it first happened?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you know what was happening?” Kuei asked. “Did you know what was going on?”

Zuko froze for a moment. He tried to collect his thoughts. _That was not the question I was expecting_.

“No,” he admitted. “I had no idea. I didn’t learn what it was until several months later. Maybe a year.”

“If you didn’t know what was going on, then there would’ve been no reason for you to worry until it was too late.”

“I-I mean, I knew something was wrong, but—”

“But nothing,” Kuei said. “At that point, it was too late.”

Zuko thought about it for a few moments before sighing. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“As for social classes, it happens more within the royals and richer people than they’d lead you to believe,” Kuei said. “The difference is that they have the power to keep it under wraps. They have the resources to hide it. Plus, they have more of a reason to hide it. The women in the villages that the soldiers hurt…they aren’t the only ones, and they know it. But when upper-class citizens and leaders of different nations face the same thing, they feel more alone because those people are trying to hide it.”

Zuko nodded. “That makes sense.”

“It seems safe at first—no one knows about it and therefore, no one can hurt you about it. But really, it’s more dangerous than anything.”

Bosco scratched at one of the legs of the chair Kuei was sitting on. The bear growled sharply.

“I think Bosco’s getting antsy,” the Earth King said. He stood up and pushed his chair in. “We can continue this next time.”

“Okay, yeah…yeah, that sounds good.”

“Are you feeling a little better?”

“Yeah,” Zuko said. He stood up and pushed his own chair in. “I just need to get past this first.”

“Feed the turtleducks, or go sparring, or do something else that makes you happy.” Kuei put his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “You’ll feel better for it.”

“Thanks, Kuei.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“See you,” Zuko said, bowing to the older man. Kuei smiled and bowed back before disappearing out of the doorway, with Bosco on his heels.

* * *

“Okay. Tomorrow,” Sokka said. “That’s the day.”

Aang nodded. “We’ve already checked with your advisors, and you have nothing going on tomorrow.”

“What about my meeting with the head merchant from the Northern Water Tribe?”

“Canceled,” Aang said with a smile.

“What about the signing of the new—”

“Also canceled.”

“Well, the—”

“We cleared your entire schedule,” Sokka said. “Stop stressing over it.”

“Were they canceled or rescheduled?” Zuko asked. He raised his right eyebrow in suspicion. Aang and Sokka laughed at him.

“You worry too much,” Sokka said. “Your advisors took care of it. You can ask them later what the new dates are.”

“Yeah, we’re having a day whether you like it or not.” Aang grinned. “There’s no getting out of this now, Sifu Hotman!”

Zuko groaned. “I thought you stopped with that name.”

“Hey, if Toph still calls me ‘Twinkle Toes,’ then I can still call you ‘Sifu Hotman.”

“‘Hotman’ hasn’t been popular since Kyoshi walked the earth.”

“Good thing she showed up at the Yokoya peninsula on Avatar Day!” Aang smiled. He wrapped his arm around Zuko’s shoulder. The other boy breathed smoke out of his nose. “You’re going to have fun!”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Zuko said. “Your definition of fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I wanted to post last night/this morning, I felt it would be better if I didn't try to rush through sleep deprivation. Even though classes are over, I'm still staying up late. The life of a writer, I guess.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter! :)


	29. Guys' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko, Aang, and Sokka enjoy their guys' day out.

“Can’t you just tell me what you have planned?”

“No! That ruins the surprise!”

“I hate surprises.”

“Well, can you pretend to like them just for today?”

“No.”

“Come on, please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleaaaaaaase?”

“Okay, fine! Knock it off!”

“Yay! Thanks, Sifu Hotman!”

“I’m already regretting coming here with you two.”

“Come on, Zuko!” Sokka said—interrupting Aang and Zuko’s bickering. He stuck his arm out, and the older boy accepted it. He pulled Zuko onto Appa’s back. “We’re going to have so much fun, but you need to lighten up!”

“Yeah!” Aang turned around to look at the other two. “We did some research and everything!”

Zuko raised his eyebrow. “You did research?”

“Yup! I found a scroll in the palace library called ‘100 Things to do Before You Die.’ The problem is that we’ve already done a lot of that stuff,” Aang said. “‘Travel the world?’ We’ve done that already. ‘Ride in a hot air balloon?’ You and Sokka kind of did that on your way to the Boiling Rock. ‘Bungee jump-slash-skydive?’ When Azula attacked us at the Western Air Temple and you two fought on her airship, you fell from the sky. I’d say that counts!”

“That is not the same thing,” Zuko retorted.

“Meh,” Sokka said with a shrug. “It’s close enough. I’m with Aang. That totally counts.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. If we’ve already done everything on that list, then what are we doing instead?”

“I told you,” Aang said, grabbing Appa’s reins. “It’s a surprise. Appa! Yip yip!”

The flying bison let out a deep noise as he rose up into the sky.

“Can I at least have a hint?”

“No,” Sokka said.

“Why not?”

“Because we have a whole list of things we’re going to do, and I don’t remember all of them.”

Zuko groaned and leaned back, relaxing the back of his head on the edge of Appa’s saddle. “How am I supposed to veto any ideas if I don’t get to know about them?”

“Who said you’d get to veto ideas?” Sokka asked.

“You two were able to choose what we’re doing,” Zuko said. “So why can’t I?”

“Hmmm…you do have a point,” Sokka said.

“Okay, fine, but you can’t decline everything,” Aang said. He tossed a small bag to Sokka, who tore it open and grabbed a scroll. He handed it to Zuko, who immediately pulled the paper open. His eyes widened.

“Snorkel in the Jellyfish-Eel Lake in the Earth Kingdom?” Zuko read, his voice raising several octaves. “I am _not_ swimming with jellyfish-eels.”

“Relax, they’re harmless!” Sokka said. “We did our research, remember? Their electrical sting is so light that it’s basically safe.”

“I’m really doubting your ability to research properly.”

“That’s only the first one,” Aang said. “Keeping reading.”

“Volcano boarding?!” Zuko looked over at the airbender. “Are you two serious?”

“What? It’s not like we’d be doing it while it’s active,” Aang said. “Plus, even if it does erupt, we took care of a volcano before, remember? We’ve got practice. We’re good.”

Zuko tossed the scroll at Sokka, and it hit him straight in the head. “I’m not doing this stuff with you. You can have your ‘guys’ day’ without me.”

“Oh, come on, Zuko,” Aang whined. “Don’t be a buzzkill.”

“See, this is why we wanted to keep it a surprise,” Sokka said. “We knew you wouldn’t want to do this with us.”

“You two want to do the craziest stuff imaginable! Why can’t we just have normal adventures?”

“Look at who we are,” Aang said with a laugh. “I’m the Avatar and last of my people, you’re the Fire Lord and master of dual broadswords, and Sokka’s an elite warrior who invented several machines to invade the Fire Nation on the Day of Black Sun. We’re not exactly normal.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “I just wanted a fun day out,” he grumbled. “Is that so much to ask for?”

“Oh, you’ll have fun, Zuko!” Aang said. “You just have to trust us!”

* * *

“We’re here!” Aang said. He grinned and hopped off of Appa.

“What are we doing in the middle of the Si Wong Desert?” Zuko asked. He slid off Appa’s back and landed on his feet with a loud thump. Sand billowed up around him at the movement.

“Well, you didn’t like the idea of volcano boarding, so we’re going sand-surfing instead!” Aang smiled at the firebender, despite the latter’s obvious irritation.

“You should’ve packed water!” Zuko said. “Whether we were going to a volcano or a desert, you’d think you’d know to bring—”

“Oh, relax, Hotpants,” Sokka said. “We’ve made it out of here once, and we can do it again. Loosen your hairpiece.”

“We’ve got lots of memories from the last time we were here,” Aang said. “Did you know that we visited Wan Shi Tong’s Library?”

“This is also where we lost Appa, so keep an eye on him, will ya?” Sokka added. “Oh, and don’t drink the cactus juice!”

“Come on!” Aang grabbed three boards from Appa’s saddle. “We’re already at the top!”

“Wait, do you _surf_ down these dunes?” Zuko asked.

“Well, yeah, that’s why it’s called ‘sand-surfing,’” Sokka said.

“Katara tried to teach me how to surf, and it didn’t exactly work out, remember?” Zuko scratched the back of his neck. “Wiping out on water is one thing, but sand? That’s completely different.”

“Afraid you’ll embarrass yourself?” Sokka teased. He wiggled his elbow into Zuko’s ribcage, and the older boy shoved him away gently.

“I don’t want to lose vision in my other eye,” Zuko joked.

“That’s fair.”

“Just sit on the board!” Aang offered. “The dune we’re on now is really tall, so you can just speed down.”

The three boys set their boards on the top of the dune, and Sokka got into position. Aang, however, decided to sit on the board as Zuko did.

“Wanna race to the bottom?” Aang asked.

“You’re on!” Sokka said.

“On the count of three!”

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

The trio launched themselves forward and immediately flew down the hill. Aang’s shrill laughter rang through the air, and Sokka hollered as he tilted the board with his stance. Zuko grinned and gripped the edge of the board tighter. He leaned forward, pulling the board down the dune faster.

“Come on, slowpoke!” Aang yelled to Sokka. The latter laughed as he projected himself forward, catching up to the airbender.

Sand billowed around them. It swarmed up like waves as the boys raced through the gritty particles. The wind they generated forced away the heat of the sweltering sun and stole away the trio’s laughter.

“Ha! I win!” Aang cheered as the dune came to an end. He stood up off the board and bent the air around him to clean himself of the sand.

“No fair!” Sokka said, just as he reached the bottom of the dune. “I was almost there!”

“Best two out of three?” Zuko asked with a smirk.

“You’re on, Jerkbender!”

* * *

“Whoa, this place is awesome!” Aang’s gray eyes glistened with excitement as they glazed over the dozens of stands that lined the streets.

“Told you this was a good place to stop for lunch!” Sokka said.

“Looks like you did your research after all,” Zuko joked.

“Hey! I’m the plan guy! Of course, we did the research!”

“I feel like we haven’t had street food since we traveled together,” Aang said. “And even then, we didn’t get it all the time because Katara would cook for us.”

“Alright, Zuko,” Sokka said, “since your girlfriend cheated us out of the street food experience, you get to be the one to make it up to us.” He slung his arm over Zuko’s shoulders. “What’s the best food to get that has a lot of meat?”

“Uh…probably the Rou Jia Mo,” Zuko answered.

“Ooh, what is that?” Sokka asked, clearly intrigued.

“Oh, wow, you really were cheated out of the street food experience,” Zuko said. “It’s a sandwich with braised pork belly.”

“Sounds good to me!” Sokka immediately marched up to one of the first street vendors he saw.

“Get some spring rolls while you’re at it!” Aang shouted. Sokka flashed a thumbs-up to the other boy.

“What about you?” Aang asked. “What are you thinking?”

“Uh, probably baozi,” Zuko said, “and maybe cong you bing. I haven’t had them in a while.”

“Cong you what now?”

“Scallion pancakes.”

“I’m surprised you know this much about street food,” Aang said as he and Zuko walked further down the street, looking through all the stands. “I mean, you grew up in a Fire Nation Palace, but you seem to know a lot about Earth Kingdom street food.”

Zuko shrugged. “I lived in the Earth Kingdom for a little while,” he said. “Sometimes Uncle and I would go to the street vendors after long days at the Jasmine Dragon when we didn’t feel like cooking that night. I mean, it was cheap enough that we didn’t have to worry.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed the Fire Lord of all people likes quick food from stands and vendors.” Aang cracked a grin as the two approached a cart.

“I don’t only eat luxurious food, you know,” Zuko said. He turned to look at the man running the stand. “Can I get a plate of baozi and an order of cong you bing?”

“And can I get some mapo tofu?” Aang asked. “No minced meat, please.”

Zuko dropped several coins in the vendor’s hand and turned back to look at the younger boy. “Sometimes, I even like it better.”

“Wait, really?”

Zuko nodded. “My first order after becoming Fire Lord was to stop the chefs from cooking turtleducks in the palace. Traditional dish or not, I refuse to eat Peking turtleducks.”

“I’m sure they appreciate it,” Aang said. “I feel the same way with all animals. I don’t want to eat something that lives and breathes.”

“Or that I individually name.” Zuko smiled. “Don’t tell Sokka that though. He’ll never let me live that down.”

Aang smiled back and pretended to zip his mouth shut with his finger. “Your secret is safe with me, Sifu Hotman.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. The vendor passed the two boys their food, and the two went back to find Sokka.

“This is really good!” Sokka said. “Thanks for the advice, Zuko!”

“It’s no problem.” The firebender gave each boy one of the pancakes before biting into one of his steamed pork buns. “Where to next?”

“We were thinking that we could stay in town for a little while. There’s a bunch of shops and cool places around the area we can visit.” Aang said. He swiped one of the spring rolls from Sokka’s plate. “Does that sound good?”

“Yeah, that works for me. Sokka?”

“Huh? What’d you say?”

Aang smiled. “He’s too busy enjoying that sandwich to function.”

“It’s like eating from the mouth of an angel.”

“Ew, could you give us a worse description?” Zuko asked.

“I mean, I can if you want,” Sokka said through a mouthful of meat. “The only thing that tastes better than this is Suki’s—”

“Don’t you dare finish that thought.” Zuko slapped his hands over Aang’s ears. However, Sokka simply laughed.

* * *

“Are you having fun yet, Zuko?”

“I really am,” he admitted. He turned to look at Aang, who kicked a stone as he walked. “I didn’t expect to enjoy today as much as I did.”

“You stress yourself out too much,” Sokka said. “You really needed a break.”

“We all did,” Aang said. “Ember Island was fun, but that was a while ago. We need trips together more often. Especially before we have to separate for a while again.”

“When do you leave?” Zuko asked. He felt his heart catch in his throat and tried to will the feeling away.

“Katara and I go back to the Southern Water Tribe in about six weeks,” Sokka said.

“And I’m going to the Earth Kingdom in eight weeks,” Aang said. “This time, I’ll be in Omashu.”

Zuko nodded stiffly. He knew it was coming, but it still hurt. Hopefully, this time would be better than the last.

“We’re still going to send you letters,” Sokka said. “You don’t get to escape that easily.”

Zuko smiled. “It’s going to be hard when you’re gone. It’s going to be so quiet and peaceful,” he joked. “What am I going to do?”

Sokka shoved Zuko’s arm lightly. “Deal with Toph’s shenanigans.”

“Yeah, she’s never going back to her parents,” Aang said. “Not unless you kick her out yourself.”

“I would never do that.”

“Exactly.” Aang grinned. “She appreciates it though. I think we all do.”

“It’s going to be weird with everyone gone though,” Zuko said. “It was bad the first time. I’m just hoping it’ll be better this time.”

“Zuko, buddy,” Sokka said gently, “you do know that if something happens, you can tell us, right?” His blue eyes were sincere and full of unspoken emotions. “If something’s up, you need to let us know. We’ll come back immediately.”

“I don’t want you to ignore your responsibilities for me though,” Zuko said.

“At this point, we’re all each other’s responsibilities,” Aang said. “We’re family, and family sticks together. If something’s wrong, we’ll drop everything to help you. That’s what families do.”

Zuko felt his throat tighten with emotion. He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

“You need to promise us that you’ll let us know if something’s wrong,” Aang said. “Promise us that the moment you start slipping, you’ll write to us.”

“I promise,” Zuko croaked. “I…I will.”

Aang smiled. “Good. Because if something happens to you under Toph’s watch, she’s going to beat herself up for it, and we can’t have that.” He leaned forward to wrap Zuko into a hug. The older boy leaned into the embrace and wrapped his own arms around Aang.

“Group hug!” Sokka shouted. He joined their embrace and enveloped them with his own arms.

The three of them stood there in the middle of the street, not caring who was watching. They were having a moment, and that was more important.

* * *

As the night was winding down and evening approached, the boys found themselves back in the Fire Nation, just on the outskirts of Royal Caldera City. The area was remote, and jagged pieces of rock disguised the hot spring, providing them with privacy.

“This is going to be great!” Sokka said. He tore off his blue tunic and slipped it down his shoulders. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day!”

“I know!” Aang pulled his yellow and red fabrics off, revealing the blue tattoos and red scar on his back. He dumped the clothes in a pile beside the hot spring. “Hopefully, it’s not too hot.”

“It shouldn’t be,” Zuko said, removing his own tunic. “This one’s a pretty safe temperature.” He put his clothes next to Aang’s, leaving him in just his undergarments.

“Come on, slowpokes!” Sokka immediately climbed into the hot spring and sighed. He lowered himself deeper into the water and relaxed against the edge. “Why haven’t we done this months ago?” he said. “This would’ve been great after Sozin’s comet.”

“There were more important things to worry about,” Aang said with a shrug. “I mean, Zuko took a lightning bolt to the chest. Making sure he survived the night seemed like a better option than soaking in a hot spring.”

“Next time, you can soak instead,” Zuko said. “It feels great, so I’d understand. I’ll give you a pass.”

“There’d better not be a next time,” Aang said. “You worried us enough the first time around.”

“So next time, we have experience!” Sokka joked.

The three felt their muscles relax underneath the toasty temperatures of the water. Zuko wondered why they didn’t do this more often. It was amazing.

The sun started to dip below the horizon. The sunset turned the sky golden, and shades of orange and red painted the sun. They watched as the sun retired for the night and the moon took its place in the sky.

“I wonder how Yue’s doing up there,” Sokka said. “Do you think she gets lonely?”

“I don’t think so,” Aang said. “She’s never really alone. Not with all those stars in the sky.”

“The stars each tell their own story,” Zuko said. “My mom always told me what each star and constellation meant. I’m sure she’s with all of the spirits from those stories now.”

“She’s watching over us,” Sokka said, more to himself than the others. “She always has been.”

Aang put a hand on Sokka’s shoulder. The older boy looked away from the moon to meet Aang’s eyes. He gave him a smile.

“She really has,” Aang said.

Zuko looked up at the moon. It was full and bright, glowing despite the darkness of the sky. He liked the idea that the moon was watching over them—the moon and all her stars. It reminded him of his mother. Maybe somewhere, she was watching the moon and thinking of him too.

“We should do a toast,” Aang said.

“A toast?” Zuko said, pulling himself out of his thoughts. “We don’t even have any drinks or cups to toast with.”

Sokka shrugged. “We could drink the spring water?”

“Absolutely not.”

“You guys! I didn’t even tell you what our toast was for yet,” Aang said.

“Okay, fine, what do you want to toast for?”

“To our friendship,” he said with a bright smile. “We’ve come a long way since that iceberg broke, and I’m so grateful for the times we’ve had together.”

“I’d say that’s worthy of a toast,” Sokka said, slinging his wet arm over Aang’s bare shoulders. “How are we going to do it?”

“We could…uh…cup our hands?” Zuko offered awkwardly. “I’m not drinking the water we’re sitting in, and I suggest you two don’t either, but we could still…you know…clink our hands together?”

Aang laughed. “Works for me!” He cupped his hands together and dropped them underneath the water. He lifted them back up, revealing a palmful of water. Sokka and Zuko repeated the actions themselves, cupping their own water.

“To our friendship!” Sokka said.

“To our friendship!” Aang repeated, a smile splitting at his face, “and having people to care for and make memories with!”

Zuko grinned, and the three of them knocked their cupped hands together. The water splashed gently as they tapped their fingers against each other’s.

They didn’t need a toast to mark the importance of their friendship. But saying it out loud and splashing each other with water just made it more real.

And Zuko couldn’t wish for anything different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I took so long to put out this chapter. I genuinely don't have a good excuse, but I still feel bad regardless. I made sure to make this chapter a little longer to make up for it though.
> 
> I'm really excited about the next few upcoming chapters. I have some ideas that I'm super pumped to play with, and they've been in my notes for the chapter for a little while now. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I really felt we needed more time with the boys, and my story was kinda lacking that aspect of their friendship. Have a great day! :)


	30. Family Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko meets up with his family.

Katara was absolutely not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Every morning, she’d watch as Zuko woke up with the sun, would meditate for up to an hour, and cuddle with her—sometimes even working out when he had free time. Meanwhile, she couldn’t even get out of her bed immediately.

It was no surprise that he was up early, but the odd part was how chipper he was. The smile on his face stretched from ear-to-ear, and his eyes glowed like sunshine during golden hour. His cheerfulness made Katara suspicious.

“Good morning!” Zuko leaned over to kiss her forehead before turning back to his desk. “How did you sleep?”

“It was okay,” Katara muttered groggily. Her voice was still thick with sleep, and she was a walking zombie compared to Zuko’s joyful demeanor. “What are you doing working so early?”

“Oh, I figured I would get some work done now so that I’ll have my afternoon free!”

“Riiiiiight,” she said. She narrowed her eyes. “You do know that your council members will you just find ways to keep you busy regardless?”

“Well, I already scheduled off for the afternoon,” Zuko said. He signed the bottom of a document before placing the paper on the stack neatly. “They should respect that.”

“Mmm.” Katara walked behind Zuko and leaned against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek into his back. She rested her body on him sleepily. Vibrations worked their way down his body and into hers as he chuckled.

“You can go back to bed, you know,” Zuko said. “Breakfast shouldn’t be ready for another thirty minutes.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled. Her eyelids were still closed, and she still rested her weight against her boyfriend. “Why are you so cheerful? You’re more upbeat than Aang, and that’s saying something.”

“Mom’s coming!” Zuko grinned. His golden eyes pooled with eagerness, and Katara’s own eyes widened in disbelief.

“Wait, it's already…” She pulled herself off of him and whipped her head towards the planner on the desk, inspecting the date. “Oh! I didn’t realize! It came up so quickly!”

“They’re coming this afternoon,” Zuko said, unable to disguise the excitement in his voice.

“I need to get ready!” Katara immediately tried to speed out of the room, but Zuko caught her by the wrists before she could escape.

“Kat, try not to worry about it,” he soothed. “You still have several hours. Plus, you’ve already met them. There’s no need to try to impress them now.”

“But this is the first time I’m seeing them since our courtship was announced.” Katara’s eyes widened. “What if they don’t know? What if the news didn’t travel to Hira’a?”

“I’m sure everyone in the Fire Nation and beyond knows about it.” Zuko’s hands slid away from Katara’s wrists and traveled up to her hands instead. He rubbed circles into the soft skin. “Don’t stress yourself out about it. You already know she loves you.”

“Yeah, back when I wasn’t with her only son!”

“That won’t change anything.” Zuko leaned forward and swept Katara up into a kiss. The waterbender’s eyes widened in shock before fluttering closed. She leaned in, pressing her lips against his own. They were so warm and soft, and she felt herself melt into him.

She lost track of time. She didn’t know how long it was until Zuko pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Zuko said. “You’ve just got to trust me.”

“I do,” Katara whispered. “I trust you.”

* * *

“Zuzu!”

Little legs sped to the palace’s entryway, and Zuko watched as Kiyi bolted towards the doorway. Her tiny ponytail bounced with each step, and her smile was larger than life.

Zuko knelt down on the floor and spread out his arms as he readied himself for the impact. Just as he raised his arms, Kiyi sped into him. She buried her face in his shoulder, and Zuko wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, Kee,” Zuko said into her ear, pulling her into him tighter. “Look how much you’ve grown! You’re so much taller than the last time I saw you.”

Kiyi smiled, pulling her cheeks up tightly and squinting her eyes shut. “Mommy says soon, I’ll be as tall as you!”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Zuko said with a smile. He ruffled the little girl’s hair and stood up just as Ursa and Noren walked up the palace steps.

“Zuko!” Ursa pulled her son into a hug, to whom the latter immediately returned. “Oh, my love, it’s so nice to see you again. How have you been? How is work? Have you been sleeping well?”

“Ursa, one at a time,” Noren joked. “The boy doesn’t even a chance to think.”

“I’m sorry,” Ursa said, pulling away from the embrace. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in such a long time.”

Noren brought Zuko into a hug of his own. “It’s nice to see you, Fire Lord Zuko.”

“I already told you,” Zuko said. “You really don’t have to call me that.”

“It’s weird to say it otherwise,” Noren said, breaking the hug.

Kiyi tugged on Zuko’s robes. “Are the others here too?”

“Yep, they’re all here.” Zuko knelt down and lifted his little sister up to sit on his shoulders. “Do you want to go see everyone?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Kiyi exclaimed. She squealed happily as Zuko turned around to start walking into the palace. She touched the sharp points of his shoulder pieces with awe. Ursa and Noren followed behind him, and two guards grabbed their belongings to take to their rooms.

“Has it been chaotic since the last time we came?” Ursa asked as they walked down the corridors. “Last time, you were in the middle of building a contract with the Earth Kingdom.”

“It’s still been busy, but I’m falling into a schedule now,” Zuko answered. He turned down a corner and kept walking. “I’ve been able to take more breaks—especially with my friends forcing me on adventures every few weeks.”

“I’m glad they’re doing that though,” she said. “You need the chance to unwind.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Although I wish they told me before canceling my meetings themselves.”

They entered the lounge, where the rest of Team Avatar was sitting around the room. They were all gathered around a table, and they each had cards in their hands. Sokka had his chin in one hand as he stared meticulously at his cards.

“Toph,” he said, “got any fours?”

“I don’t know! I can’t see!” she complained. “Why are we even playing this game? I’m blind, remember?”

“So…should I go fish or not?”

“I hate this game.”

“Guys, look who’s here!” Aang shouted.

Everyone immediately sprung up out of their seats and swarmed Zuko, save for Toph, who stayed in her seat.

“Oh, wow,” Toph grumbled. “Can’t do that either. You guys are really sympathetic today, you know that?”

“Toffee!” Zuko put Kiyi down, and the little girl immediately bolted towards the earthbender.

“Oh, hey, kiddo!” Toph grinned. “Nice to see you’re smart enough to come to me first.”

“Hey, no fair!” Sokka said. He knelt down beside Kiyi. “She’s not the one who taught you how to throw that boomerang last summer, remember?” Kiyi smiled at the boy and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. “Okay, I guess I can accept your apology.”

“I heard about your courtship with Zuko!” Ursa said with a smile. She grabbed Katara’s hands in her own and raised them up in front of her chest.

“Mom, really?” Zuko asked. He felt his cheeks turn red, but he didn’t stop her.

“I am so happy for you two!” Ursa continued, ignoring her son’s discomfort. “You two are going to be so good for each other!”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Katara said, smiling politely. “I feel like we complement each other really well.”

“Plus, I know you’ve already made him so happy.” Ursa smiled from ear-to-ear. “You’re all he talks about in his letters.”

“Mom, please,” Zuko whined.

Katara giggled. “I hope so. He makes me just as happy, if not more.”

Ursa let go of Katara’s hands and pulled her into a hug instead. “I’m glad.”

“Mr. Noren, sir,” Aang said, grinning enthusiastically like usual, “I heard about your newest play, _Flight of the Dragon_. Everyone’s been talking about it!”

Noren laughed. “Oh, it was a fun one! Let me tell you, one of the actors accidentally set the stage on fire during rehearsal—and he wasn’t even a firebender!”

“How did he do it?” Aang asked. His eyes lit up with wonder.

“Well, you see, he was wearing these shoes that—”

Zuko smiled. He watched as Ursa and Katara gushed to each other, as Toph and Sokka fought for Kiyi’s affection, as Noren shared his stories with Aang. He watched his families blend together, and he smiled. Everything was so perfect. He wanted it to last forever.

* * *

“How has everything been with your family at the palace?” Kuei leaned over to grab the teacup off the side table. Today’s brew was ginseng. “Are things crazy?”

“No, they’re actually going really well!” Zuko grinned. “Everyone gets along, and I know Kiyi wanted to see my friends again.”

“I’m surprised they like her as much as they do,” Kuei said, smiling back at the younger leader.

“Yeah, I feel the same way. They’re all really good with kids though. Even Toph, whom I wouldn’t even suspect.”

“I know you were talking about telling Lady Ursa what happened,” Kuei said. He scratched Bosco’s head lovingly, and the bear groaned. “Have you thought about what you’re going to say to her yet?”

“I don’t know.” Zuko ran his fingers through his hair. His hair was loose, out of the topknot he had put it in that morning. “I’m really stressed about it. I’ve been putting off thinking about it until she got here, but now that she’s here, I don’t know what to do.”

Kuei nodded. He took a sip of his tea as he let Zuko find the words he needed. He kept rubbing Bosco’s head, even as the bear squirmed.

“I’m worried about her reaction more than anything,” Zuko continued. “I just don’t want her to see me any differently or-or treat me differently...or anything.”

“I understand that,” Kuei said. “It’s hard to tell people what happened, and that’s part of the reason why a lot of people keep it under wraps.”

“Have you told anyone close to you what happened?” Zuko asked.

“My Council of Five,” Kuei answered. “After Long Feng was no longer in charge, they reported to and were loyal to me. They had no idea what Long Feng did, and I had to tell them what happened.”

“How…how did they react?”  
  
“Shock, mostly.” Kuei put his teacup down. “One or two were angry, but most of them were mainly shocked.”

“Did they treat you differently?”

“A little bit at first, but after they realized I was the same person I’d always been, it got easier. It’s a strange shift for everyone involved.” Kuei laced his fingers together and leaned forward slightly. “When you first told your friends, did they treat you differently?”  
  
“Um…maybe a little,” Zuko said. “Sokka was really angry for a while, and if my father comes up in conversation, he gets mad again. The others were gentle for a bit too.”

“But it passed?”

“Yeah, mostly. Unless it comes up, but they all try to avoid the conversation.”

“Then, it’ll likely be the same with your mom,” Kuei said. “It’ll be hard at first, but with time, it’ll get better.”

“How do I tell her?” Zuko asked.

“Just tell her the truth. You don’t have to get really graphic or anything, and you don’t have to give any details if you don’t want, but just be honest with her.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay…I’ll try that.”

“How long is your family staying for?”

“For two weeks.”

“So you have a little bit of time to tell her.” Kuei gave Zuko a soft smile. “Take a few days to calm your nerves and think about what you want to say.”

He nodded again. “Alright, I will. Thanks, Kuei.”

“It’s never a problem.” Kuei grinned. “But you’ve got to tell me what happens.”

* * *

“Where are we going?” Kiyi tugged on her brother’s hand as the two of them walked on the stone sidewalk that traced up the island. Ursa trailed behind the siblings, watching as Zuko would swing Kiyi’s arm every so often.

“We’re going to go see our sister,” Zuko answered.

“She’s a meanie,” Kiyi said with a pout. “She threatened to hurt my doll.”

“Well, today, it’s going to be a little different,” Ursa said. “There’s going to be supervision, and we aren’t going in her room. She won’t hurt you.”

“Okay…” Kiyi hesitated. She squeezed Zuko’s hand. “If something happens, you’ll protect me, right?”

“Of course,” Zuko said. He squeezed her hand back. “I’ll always keep you safe.” Kiyi smiled at that, and the three of them continued up to the institution in the center of the island.

After passing through the various desks and signing a few documents, they waited in a small room for Azula to arrive. The room was sparsely decorated with only a couch and a few chairs. A small table held magazines and a plastic vase filled with orchids.

Zuko sat down on the couch, and Kiyi crawled up next to him. She wrapped her arms around his much larger one and rested her head against him. Ursa smiled at the two and sat down on the other side of Zuko. She squeezed his hand gently, and he squeezed it back.

As the door opened, Kiyi popped her head up to look. A woman wearing a pastel pink dress pushed a wheelchair into the room before closing the door behind her.

Azula’s eyes were wide and red-rimmed. Bags lined the bottom of her eyes, and she squinted angrily at the trio on the couch. Her raven hair was frizzy and laid loose across her shoulders. However, this time, she wasn’t in a straitjacket.

“Azula, look who came to see you,” the woman said gently. Her voice was light and soothing, but that did nothing to stop Azula’s face from twisting up in anger.

“Get out,” she snapped. “I don’t want you here.”

“Azula, you knew they were coming,” the woman said, her voice as soft as it was before. “You knew they would be visiting today.”

“Get out. I don’t want to see you.” Her eyes were set on Ursa, squinting at her suspiciously.

“Darling, I just came to—”

“I don’t care what you came to do,” Azula snarled. “I don’t want to see you. Get. Out.”

Zuko steeled his emotions as best as he could. His heart pounded in his chest, and his throat started to tighten. However, he tried to keep his face as emotionless as possible. He felt Kiyi bury her face into his arm. He pulled his arm out of her little grasp to wrap around her body instead. She buried her face in his side, and he pulled her close, rubbing her arm.

“If that is what you want, I’ll leave,” Ursa said. “But at least talk to your siblings.”

“Get out.”

Ursa nodded. She gave Zuko a melancholy look before glancing back at Azula. Her daughter’s eyes were hostile as they followed her out of the room.

When the door was closed, Azula looked back at Zuko and Kiyi. Her smile was wicked, but her eyes were full of pain. Zuko didn’t know what to think.

“Zuzu,” she drawled, “it’s so nice of you to stop by. Especially with how busy you are as Fire Lord. Tell me, how many assassination attempts have there been since you last visited, hmm?”

“I’m not here to talk about myself,” Zuko said, his voice was flat. He thanked Agni that his fear didn’t make his voice shaky. “I want to see how you’re doing.”

“Aw, how sweet.” She draped a hand over her chest dramatically. Her fingers touched her heart. “I’m touched. Really, I am.”

“The doctors here have said in their letters that you’ve made a lot of progress,” Zuko said, ignoring his sister’s patronizing comments. “But you still kicked Mom out.”

“She may be your mother, but she’s not mine!” Azula snapped. “She never treated us the same!”

“She wanted to,” Zuko said. “Father loved you more and couldn’t stand me, so Mom made up for it by giving me extra love. Her intentions were good.”

“That doesn’t excuse the way she treated me,” Azula snapped. “She did nothing but discipline me and dote on you.”

“Azula…”

“She thinks I’m a monster,” Azula whispered. “Maybe I am.”

“No, you’re not.” Zuko’s eyes were full of sympathy, but he kept the pity out of them. He knew Azula didn’t want his pity. “You did some bad things, but that doesn’t make you a monster.”

“Oh, and you know all about that, don’t you, Zuzu?” she snarled. “She replaced me. She replaced both of us.” She looked towards Kiyi, her eyes gleaming maliciously. Kiyi buried her face even deeper into Zuko’s side.

“She didn’t replace us,” Zuko retorted. “She wanted to take us with her when she left. Father stopped her.”

“Whatever,” Azula muttered under her breath.

“I heard Ty Lee came to visit,” Zuko said, changing the conversation. “How did that go?”

“She’s a fool for betraying me!” Azula shrieked. “And she’s a fool for coming back after what she did!”

“She misses you,” he said. “She wants you to get better.”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“She’s your friend. She’s checking on you because she loves you, not because she’s making sure you’re still locked away.” Zuko wanted to reach out and hold Azula’s hand, just like Katara would do to him whenever he was feeling down. But he didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

“Why did you bring her here?” Azula asked. Her amber eyes looked down at Kiyi, who pulled her face out of her brother’s side.

“We wanted to come and check on you,” Zuko answered.

“We…we want you to feel better,” Kiyi said. Her voice quivered from fear, but she tried to be strong for her family.

“We didn’t abandon you here,” Zuko added. “I’ve been sending letters back and forth with the hospital. You know I’ll keep visiting you until you leave.”

Azula gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. “You’re here because you fear me,” she whispered, more to herself than her siblings.

“No, we don’t. We want you to get better,” Zuko said. “How have the medications been treating you?”

Azula snapped her head up to look at him. “Do you think you’re better than me because you’re not crazy? Because you’re not taking six pills a day?”

“I don’t think that,” Zuko admitted. “I think that you’re taking them because they make you feel better, not because you’re crazy.”

“You think I’m crazy,” she whispered. Her eyes welled up with tears.

“I think you’re hurt. We both are.”

“I don’t see you sitting in an asylum.”

“Hospital,” the woman in the corner of the room corrected. “We use the word ‘hospital’ here, not ‘asylum.’”

“Iroh found me someone who’s acting as a therapist,” Zuko told Azula. “We meet several times a week to work through everything that’s going on.” His eyes penetrated hers, and he could see a tear slip down her face. “We’re just two traumatized kids who were abused in different ways.”

“I wasn’t abused,” Azula whispered. Another tear fell.

“Yes, you were,” Zuko said as gently as he could. “We were pitted against each other and manipulated. Even if you weren’t abused physically, you were still abused.”

Azula dropped her head. Zuko saw a tear fall and hit her pants. It stained the fabric.

“Do you want to go back to the room, Azula?” the woman asked. She took her silence as an answer. Looking up at Zuko and Kiyi, she said, “Thank you for visiting her. I know it doesn’t look like it, but I think it really helps.”

“Of course,” Zuko said. He looked back at Kiyi. “Want to go find Mom?”

“She should be out in the hallway still,” the woman said.

“Thank you,” Zuko said. He and Kiyi stood up off the couch, but before they walked out, Zuko knelt down in front of Azula’s wheelchair. “You’re going to get better,” he told her. “I promise. And even if you don’t, I still love you.” He put his hand over her kneecap. She didn’t move.

After a few seconds, he stood back up and took Kiyi’s hand. “I’ll be back soon.”

“We’ll see you in a little while,” the woman said, coming up from behind Azula to push her wheelchair.

Zuko nodded, and he and Kiyi walked out of the room. He wished that he could’ve helped Azula more.

_Baby steps_ , he thought to himself. _Baby steps._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super happy with this chapter! I love the relationships between Zuko's blended family with Noren and Kiyi, his biological one with Ursa and Azula, and his found family with the Gaang. So writing a chapter solely about Zuko's different family structures was really fun to do!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! And thank you for all of the kudos and comments! They make my day a little brighter! :)


	31. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko prepares to tell his mother the truth about what happened.

Soft. Everything was just so, so soft. The mattress under the side of her ribcage was soft. Zuko’s hair under her fingertips was soft. And her heart melted under the level of softness.

Cuddling would always be the best part of Katara’s day. It didn’t matter how stressful her day was or how annoyed she would be when she entered the bedroom. The second Zuko’s arms wrapped around her, her world became soft. She became soft.

Laying on her left side, she had her chest pressed to Zuko’s back. She scratched his bare shoulders with one hand and played with his hair with the other hand. She saw goosebumps line his skin as her breath hit the back of his neck.

“Remember how I told you I was thinking about seeing Azula?” Zuko asked. His voice was quiet, but Katara wasn’t sure if that was just because he was facing the other way.

“Yeah, I remember,” Katara said. She traced her fingers up to the section of his scalp that always gave him chills. She smiled as he arched his back from beside her. “Did you visit her today?”

Zuko nodded. “Yeah. I took Mom and Kiyi. Azula didn’t want to see Mom though, and Kiyi didn’t talk much.”

“It’s going to take some time,” Katara said. “She’s still healing. You all are.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wish I could help her more.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it,” Katara soothed, squeezing his shoulder gently. “You’re doing all you can to help, and it’s appreciated. It won’t be a quick fix, but it’ll still get better.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

Although he was turned the other way, Katara knew deep down he was smiling softly at that.

“Have you told your mom yet?” she asked. She pressed her fingers a little deeper into the skin of his shoulder, and she brought her other hand down his scalp a little more.

“About what?” Zuko asked. Suddenly, he stiffened. “Oh.” His muscles were tight under her fingers, and she tried to rub out the knots. “No…no, I haven’t.”

“If you’re not ready, you don’t have to tell her just yet,” Katara said. “You don’t need to tell her immediately.”

“I don’t have much time,” Zuko said. “She and the others leave in a week and a half.”

“But she’s going to come back eventually,” Katara reasoned. “If you need more time, then take it.”

“I know, but I just…I want to…I don’t know.” Zuko raised his right arm up to run his fingers through his scalp. He pushed the hair back, and his fingers knocked into Katara’s as they slid down the strands. “I want to get it over with, I guess.”

She nodded. She raised her left arm away from his shoulder and brought it up to his hair instead. Pulling at the top of his head gently, she grabbed a few strands of hair and began to braid it. Although it was nighttime and there was no need for a braid, she knew the feeling calmed Zuko down. Plus, she needed to do something with her hands.

“If I put it off too long,” he continued, “I’ll never tell her.”

“I get that,” Katara said. “And I’ll support you whenever you decide to tell her, but please take care of yourself.” She pushed the messy braid back and kissed his right shoulder. “Don’t rush into this if you’re really not ready.”

“I won’t.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “Good.” She dragged her fingers through his hair, undoing the braid. “How are you feeling about it?”

“I’m so nervous,” he admitted. “I’m petrified of her reaction.”

“She’s not going to blame you, and she’s still going to love you all the same,” Katara said.

“But I don’t want her to treat me differently either.”

“Did you talk to Kuei about this?”

“Yeah, and it helped a little bit,” Zuko said. “He told me about his own experiences with it, and that made me feel better. But I mean…I just don’t want her to see me differently or pity me or anything.”

“She’s your mom,” Katara joked, trying to lighten the mood a little. “I’m sure she’ll pity you anyway.”

“But I don’t want…I don’t know. I’m still the same person she knows. This doesn’t change anything.”

“And she knows that,” she said. “She’ll need some time to come to terms with it, but it’ll be good for both of you.”

Zuko flipped over onto his right side. No longer spooning, he stared into Katara’s eyes. Her heart fluttered as his golden eyes softened, looking into her own. They looked so warm, so full of happiness. Katara smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Do you want me to be there for support?” Katara asked. “Or would you rather tell her alone?”

“Alone,” Zuko answered. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. She melted into his touch, warm and electrifying in the best possible way. When they pulled away, his eyes looked even more magnificent. “But I wouldn’t mind seeing you immediately after.”

“I can do that,” she said. Her voice felt quiet, still breathless from the kiss. Although they’d been together for months already, he still managed to make her feel dizzy from love.

Zuko smiled, and the soft feeling in her heart returned.

She wished the softness would stay with them forever.

* * *

Zuko tried. Really, he did. However, it seemed that every time he worked up enough confidence to go find Ursa, the fear caught in his throat. It would make his feet stop moving and force his body to freeze up. Then, he was right back to square one.

Several hours later, he paced around in his office, wondering if he would ever be able to tell her the truth.

“She’s going to hate me,” Zuko said. “I just know it.”

“Well, maybe not hate me,” he replied to himself. “But she will treat me differently. And that’s not good either.”

“And what if she tells Noren? Oh, Agni…what if she actually _tells_ Noren? How am I going to face him afterward? I don’t want to face him too!”

Zuko dragged his fingers through his hair. His heartbeat ran a little faster, and he paced a little quicker.

“Just breathe. It’ll be fine, right? I mean…I’m sure she knows what’s happened at this point.”

He groaned and fell backward onto the floor. The metal on his outfit clinked as it hit the floor, and his hair fanned out around him. “How am I so bad at this?”

He leaned forward, sitting upright. “Okay, just think. What would Uncle say?”

“Zuko…truth is like the seed of a flower,” he imitated in a bad old man accent. “Although the ground and weather around it is harsh, it has the opportunity to blossom with the most beautiful petals.”

He swung his head forward into his hands. “What does that even _mean_?”

“Hey!” Someone banged on the wall twice outside the door, and the Fire Lord immediately perked up. “Are you still practicing your theater kid antics in there or can I come in?”

However, she didn’t wait for a response before she pushed the door open, collapsing on the floor next to Zuko.

“Sorry, Toph,” Zuko muttered. “How loud was I?”

She shrugged. “Eh. Not too loud. I just have good hearing.” She laid back and plopped her head in Zuko’s lap. “What are you even doing in here?”

“I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do,” he said.

“That’s vague, Sparky.”

“Sorry. I’m just stressed.”

“Well, talk to me.” Toph tapped on his thigh, directly next to her ear. “What gives?”

“I need to tell my mom what happened. With…With Father, I mean.”

“Oh…right.” Toph’s unseeing eyes grew uncharacteristically solemn, but only for a split second. The emotion in them disappeared immediately after she blinked.

“What am I supposed to even say?” Zuko asked.

“Maybe the same thing you told us. I mean, it didn’t go that poorly with us, did it?”

“Yeah...I guess it could’ve gone worse.”

“And your mom’s not like Sokka. She’s not going to lash out, and hunt Ozai down, and rip his ugly goat beard thing straight out of his chin or anything.”

Zuko snorted. “You’re blind. How did you even know he had that?”

Toph cracked a grin. “Sokka’s been laughing about it since Sozin’s comet. And apparently, when Aang went into the Avatar state, he grabbed Ozai by his goatee.”

Zuko smiled. “I would’ve loved to see that.”

“I would’ve loved to _see._ ” Zuko tugged on a strand of Toph’s hair and smiled as she swatted at his hand. “What? You love my dry humor.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said.

“And it’s cheering you up. Sounds like a win in my book.” Toph crossed her ankles so that her right one was over her left. “But yeah, if you just tell her how you told us, you should be fine.”

“What about her reaction?”

“What about it?”

“What am I supposed to do if she…I don’t know…doesn’t react well?”

“Sparky, you’re telling her that her son got molested by her ex-husband. I don’t think she’d react positively even if she tried.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m just worried.”

“Well, don’t worry about her reaction. Just worry about what you need to tell her. I mean, you can’t control what she’ll think or say or do, so don’t stress about them. Just worry about you. I mean, it’s not like she’s going to get upset at you or anything.”

“She might.”

“No, Sparky. She won’t.”

“But what if she thinks that I should’ve fought him off harder or beg—”

“Zuko,” Toph interrupted. “No. She won’t say that. She’s not a horrible person, and she’s not going to blame you because—news flash—it isn’t and never was your fault.”

He exhaled. “I’m sorry. I’m just—”

“Stressed, I know. Just…try to relax a little bit. The worst-case scenario is that she goes to Ozai’s prison cell and beats him up. The best-case scenario…well…is that she goes to his prison cell and beats him up.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Hey, it’s her or Sokka, and I don’t know about you, but I think Sokka is stronger. He’ll probably do more damage.”

“I don’t _want_ him to do damage.” Zuko leaned back, resting his back and head against the wall. “I mean, it was a long time ago, and nothing’s going to change now.”

“You know we don’t see it the same way,” Toph said.

“I know, I know. You don’t see at all.”

Toph grinned and shoved Zuko. “Hey, blind jokes are my thing!”

“Gotta be quicker than that!”

They laughed together, and at that moment, it felt better. Like they weren’t two abused kids who had the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Zuko wished it could stay like that.

“No, but seriously,” Toph said after their laughter died down, “everything is going to be fine. Don’t stress yourself out over it.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay…I’ll try.”

“Oh, and Sparky?”

“Yeah?”

“Eat dinner after you tell her, not before.”

“Why?”

“You’ll work yourself up and puke all over the place.” She grinned. “No one wants to see that.”

“Lucky you.” He smiled, and she whacked his arm.

“I just told you! Blind jokes are my thing!”

* * *

“Mom?”

Zuko pushed the door open slightly and peeked his head into the doorway. Ursa looked up from her bed. She had a book in her hand. He instantly recognized its worn-down, red and blue, leather cover.

“You’re reading _Love Amongst the Dragons_ again?” he asked with a smile. “We have a whole library full of books to read.”

“You know this one’s my favorite.” She pulled an old piece of ribbon off the bed and slid it into the pages of the book before shutting it. “What did you want to talk to me about? You looked really uptight earlier.”

Zuko felt his breath hitch, and he cleared his throat. “Can I…”

“Of course,” Ursa said with a nod. Zuko closed the door behind him, making sure it was clicked shut. Ursa scooted over on the bed to give her son a place to sit.

“I…I’m sorry,” Zuko said, preparing for the worst. He lowered his head to look at his lap. “I really don’t know how you’re going to take this.”

“Is Katara pregnant?” Ursa asked.

“What?” Zuko snapped his head up. “No! We-we don’t even… _do_ anything.”

“She goes into your room every night.”

“We don’t do anything,” Zuko repeated. He felt his face heat up, and he looked away from Ursa’s gaze, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Okay, I believe you.” She gave him a soft smile. “Now, what did you want to tell me?”

“I…um…” He kept his eyes down. _Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. It’s going to be okay._

“Zuko? Zuko, is everything alright?” He nodded, but his movements were stiff and shaky. Ursa leaned forward, touching her son’s knee gently. “Zuko, what happened, my love?”

With that, he broke down. It felt so wrong to hear her call him that. Like he didn’t deserve her words after what he had done.

He buried his clenched fists in his hair, pulling on the dark strands as he sobbed. He buried his face in his knees. He could feel himself shaking. It hurt. It hurt so badly to think about what Ozai had done, and he wanted to disappear right then and there. Part of him wished his mom knew. Maybe then, he'd never have to face her.

_Agni, what is wrong with me?_

“Oh, baby…” Ursa leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. Pulling his hands out of his hair, she brought his arms around her. She let him bury his face into her shoulder as he sobbed. “It’s okay…”

“No, it’s not!” Zuko cried. “I’m so screwed up! He screwed me up…he—” His words were muffled by his tears. His voice felt thick, watery. He wanted to bury himself in the extra fabric of his mother’s robes and never come out.

Ursa stroked his hair as he cried. She let him soak the fabric of her clothes with his tears, and she let him ball his fists in her skirt. She felt him shake, but she just held him tighter.

She didn’t force him to say anything, and Zuko was incredibly grateful. He didn’t think he could muster up the words even if he wanted to. His tongue felt heavy, and his mind felt foggy. Conversation wasn’t exactly his main priority right now.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, absorbing in her comforting words and soft touch. However, he felt horrible for accepting them. He felt like he didn’t deserve them, not after everything. But that feeling just made it worse. Made him feel like he was slipping.

He had to tell Katara. Needed to tell Kuei. He had to get help.

“Agni, Mom, I just…I don’t…I don’t know what do,” he sobbed, forcing himself to speak.

“It’s okay,” Ursa said. She rubbed his back as she continued to hug him tightly. “Just breathe.”

Zuko nodded against her shoulder. He tried to focus on his breathing but to no avail. Every time it slowed slightly, the fear of what was to come immediately invaded his mind again. He just couldn’t do it. He had to come clean.

“Fa-father…he-he touched me, Mom. He touched me, and now-now, I’m so screwed up, and-and I don’t-don’t know how to cope, and I’m _trying_ , but it’s so hard because all I see is him, and the flashbacks are-they’re just everywhere, and everything just hurts, and even though I’m healed, I’m not really because my head is-it’s just so screwed.” The words rushed out of him all at once. Once they started, they wouldn’t stop. They felt like oil—slippery and dirty, but necessary. “Agni, Mom, I don’t know what to do.”

He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the smell of her jasmine perfume. But the only thing he could think about was the feeling of her muscles stiffen. Of her hand fall from his back. Of the shock.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He didn’t want to be here. He just wanted this all to be over.

“Zuko…I…”

He refused to sit up and look at her. He couldn’t meet her eyes. He didn’t want to see the pity in them. He didn’t want her to see the shame in his.

He felt the tears on his robe before he could process the words that accompanied them. He couldn’t process them, couldn’t focus on them. Instead, he just leaned further in her, trying to comfort himself.

“Zuko, I’m so sorry,” she said against his ear. “I’m so, so sorry. I…I didn’t know this would happen to you. I’m so sorry…”

She brought her hands back up to rub his back. He tried to relax under her touch, but it felt so hard to calm down.

“I should’ve taken you,” she whispered. “I should’ve taken you and Azula with me. I know Ozai said not to—that he would kill you if I did, but I should’ve done it anyway.” Zuko couldn’t tell if she was talking to him or herself. “Spirits, I’m…Zuko, I’m so sorry.”

She squeezed him tighter, and they cried together. She rubbed his back and stroked his hair, and he buried his face in her shoulder. Despite everything going on, Zuko felt safe. Loved. He tried to ignore the thoughts telling him that he didn’t deserve this. He needed this.

“Did…did he just touch you, or was it…” She took a breath. “Did he—”

“No, he…he did it all,” Zuko admitted. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He forced himself to say the words he practiced with Kuei. “He…he raped me.”

“Zuko, I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken you. Agni, why didn’t I take you with me?”

“Mom,” he whispered, “this isn’t your fault. Please, please don’t blame yourself.”

“I should’ve taken you and Azula,” she said. “None of this would’ve happened otherwise. The scar, the banishment…everything.” Suddenly, she stiffened. “Was Azula…did he…”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I...I don’t think so.”

Ursa exhaled slowly and nodded. “O-okay.”

She broke the embrace and held his shoulders as she stared into his golden eyes. They were the same shape as Ozai’s, and they had a similar color, and he couldn’t stand himself for it. However, he hoped they held a warmth and love that his father’s eyes didn’t.

“Zuko, my love, you…you know this isn’t your fault, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I know. I…I have a good support group. They’ve been helping me…helping me come to terms with it.”

Ursa smiled and wiped her dried tears with the side of her hand. “I’m glad.” She wasn’t crying as hard anymore. If anything, she had all but stopped crying. Zuko wondered if she was forcing herself to be strong for him now, only to cry alone later, only when she knew no one was watching.

He was the same way. After all, he was his mother’s child.

Zuko felt the tears well up in his eyes again, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead on Ursa’s shoulder. She pushed his hair out of his face and kissed his temple.

“Mommy?”

Zuko froze.

He jerked his head up towards the door. It was opened.

Kiyi stood at the entrance.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?”

Ursa’s eyes were wide. “Kiyi, go to your room,” she said. “You don’t need to be in here right now. We’re talking about grown-up things.” Her voice wasn’t shaky, but Zuko could feel the tenseness of her muscles.

“Why is Zuko crying?” Kiyi asked. She ignored her mother, walking towards the edge of the bed. “Are you hurt?”

“Kind of,” Zuko sniffled, forcing a smile for the little girl. He leaned over to lift her up onto the bed, even though she was tall enough to push herself up onto the mattress.

“Zuko, you don’t have to tell her anything,” Ursa whispered, just loud enough that only Zuko could hear it.

“It’s okay,” he said in full volume.

“What happened?” Kiyi asked. She crawled up into his lap and hugged his neck. “Why are you sad?”

“My daddy was really mean when I was growing up,” Zuko said. “Even though I haven’t seen him in a while, it still hurts sometimes.”

“Daddy’s not mean though,” Kiyi said. Her voice was laced with confusion.

“Your daddy isn’t the same as his,” Ursa said, answering her daughter’s unspoken question. “You have different daddies. Yours is very nice, but his wasn’t. He was a bad man who did bad things.”

“Oh,” she said. Her eyes looked downcast. However, her naivety helped Zuko to stop crying as hard. “Why is your daddy so mean, Zuko?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. “Some people are just like that.”

“Like Azula?”

“Azula’s just really sad, and she acts mean to hide the fact that she’s sad.”

“Okay,” Kiyi said. “That makes sense. Does your daddy do the same thing?”

“No,” Zuko said. “He’s just naturally mean.”

“I’m sorry,” Kiyi said. She hugged him tightly, wrapping her little arms around him. “I’m sorry that he’s mean. But you can always share my daddy.”

Zuko smiled. “Thanks, Kee.” His eyes watered up again, but he tried to blink them away. “That really means a lot.”

And it did. Hearing the little girl made his heart swell. He desperately wished that she would never have to go through the things he went through. His baby sister was too pure for that. He would give up anything in the world to know that she was safe.

And hopefully, she always would be.

* * *

“How did it go?” Katara asked, playing with Zuko’s hair from behind. She kissed the back of his neck and smiled as he shivered.

“It went okay,” he said. “I guess as well as it could be.”

“How did your mom take it?” she asked.

“I think she feels really guilty,” Zuko answered. Katara felt his shoulders droop slightly, and she kissed behind his jaw to cheer him up. “She left right before everything started, so I think she feels like if she didn’t leave or if she took us with her, then none of this would’ve happened.”

“It’s not her fault,” Katara said. “Just like it isn’t yours. It’s no one’s but Ozai’s.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It’s just a shame he’s destroying our mental health, and he isn’t even here.”

“Hey, I’m grateful he isn’t here.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Zuko said. “I am too. It’s just…” He flipped over to stare into Katara’s sapphire eyes. She felt her heart leap in her chest. “I wish things were different, you know?”

“Of course,” she answered. “But it made you stronger for it. You can’t change what happened, but you can learn from it. From his mistakes.” She kissed the tip of his nose, and he smiled.

“Kiyi came in the room when I was telling Mom,” Zuko said.

“Oh…what happened? Did you tell her?”

“Just that he was a bad person,” he said with a shrug. “She doesn’t need to know anything else. She’s too young.”

Zuko leaned forward and buried his face in the crook of Katara’s neck. She smiled as he kissed her neck. His lips were warm, and her skin tingled under the contact. She arched her back as his lips pressed against an especially sensitive area. He chuckled and kissed her again.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin. He kissed her again. “And I’m so thankful that I have you with me.”

“I love you too,” Katara said. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. “And I’ll always be there for you.” She lifted his chin up to bring his face to hers. She kissed his lips, softly but full of love. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was kinda difficult to write, but I made it through! It did take a little longer, so I'm sorry for the wait!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And thank you again for the kudos and comments on the story! :)


	32. Operation Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka, Toph, and Suki want to punish Ozai for his crimes, but Katara and Aang try to reason with them.

“Okay, what about the name…Operation Good Cop, Bad Cop?” Sokka flung his hands out dramatically.

“No, that’s worse than Operation Oh No-Ozai,” Toph said.

“Hey, that one wasn’t that bad! I mean, they both start with ‘O,’ so I thought it was pretty clever!”

“No, Sokka,” Suki groaned. She rolled her eyes. “It was pretty bad.”

“Okay, fine, if you don’t like that one, what about…” He paused for emphasis. “Operation Revenge! No, no, wait! I got it! Operation Vengeance!” He grinned. “That one sounds pretty cool, if you ask me.”

“How about Operation Cut-a-Bit—”

“Can we stop worrying about the name and more about the actual process?” Suki interrupted. “Sokka, do you have a plan?”

“No,” he said. “Why would I already have a plan?”

“You’ve always prided yourself on being the plan guy.”

“Well, this is different,” he said.

“You can come up with plans to break into cities and fight against Fire Nation soldiers at their peak, but you can’t come up with a plan to punish one guy?” Toph said. “You’ve made plans to take down Ozai down once. You can do it again.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Sokka collapsed into the chair next to Suki. “This isn’t the same thing. We’re literally attacking Ozai for hurting Zuko.”

“So?” Toph said. “What’s the difference?”

“Well, I mean…we can’t just kill him. And he’s already in prison. Plus, he doesn’t have bending anymore.”

“You said in the Southern Water Tribe, the punishment was castration and abandonment, right?” Suki asked.

“Yeah, but we can’t exactly leave him out alone in the tundra like we can at home,” Sokka said. “He’s already in prison. And we’d have to hire someone to do the other one, since there’s no one I’m touching his—”

“Don’t you think you should ask Zuko about this first?”

Sokka and Suki whipped their heads towards the two people at the doorway. Toph, however, didn’t even flinch.

“How long have you been there?” Suki asked.

“Long enough to hear about your little operation,” Katara said, rolling her sapphire eyes.

“Oh, which name did you like best?” Sokka asked. “I kinda like Operation Vengeance.”

“Guys, you really shouldn’t be doing this behind Zuko’s back,” Aang said. “You know he wouldn’t like this.”

“But he wouldn’t do anything at all!”

“Exactly!” Aang said. “Revenge is only going to make it worse for him.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re a pacifist,” Toph said. “Sometimes, doing nothing is just as bad. He’s never going to get closure if he doesn’t do something.”

“He wouldn’t get closure even if he did get revenge,” Aang said. “All he’d be doing is ripping open old wounds and making it harder to move on.”

“You can’t just ‘move on’ from being sexually abused,” Suki said. “You can’t just get over it.”

“I’m not saying—”

“You literally just said that,” Sokka said.

“Look,” Katara said, “this isn’t our place to decide. It’s Zuko’s. If he wants to punish Ozai, then so be it. If not, that’s fine too. But whatever he chooses, we need to support him.”

“Come on, Katara,” Sokka whined. “Don’t you think Ozai should be punished?”

“I do, but that’s not my decision to make.” She narrowed her eyes at her brother. “And it’s not your decision either. Leave it alone.”

“But—”

“I said, leave it alone.” She turned towards the younger boy beside her. “Come on, Aang. We have a meeting to get ready for.”

Katara walked out of the room, and Aang turned to follow her. However, just before he left, he turned to look at the others. “Please, don’t do this,” he said.

“We can’t just do nothing!” Sokka said.

“But you don’t want to hurt him more either.” Aang turned around and disappeared out of the doorway.

Toph, Suki, and Sokka sat in silence for a few seconds before Toph cracked a smile. “So,” She said, a smirk growing on her face, “we still going through with this?”

* * *

“I went downtown today, and you’ll never guess what I tried!” Kuei exclaimed. Bosco’s head was in his lap, and the sleeping bear was slumped beside the Earth King’s chair. “I found those pork buns you were talking about! The ones you said I needed to try before going back to Ba Sing Se.”

“How were they?” Zuko asked, grinning at the older man.

“Spicy,” Kuei laughed. “Definitely spicy.”

“Well, I could’ve told you that.”

“But it was fun to try!” Kuei smiled from ear-to-ear. “One thing I’ve always admired about you was your ability to travel the world and try new things. I mean, I’m sure you’ve tried more Earth Kingdom cuisine than I have.”

“Banishment does that to a person,” Zuko said with a shrug.

“But you’re so cultured!” Kuei continued. “I wish I had that kind of freedom. That’s why I left with Bosco for a few weeks back when the war was still going on.”

“Nothing’s stopping you from going out and exploring even now,” Zuko said. “I still go out to the city.”

“Aren’t you worried about something happening to you?” Kuei asked.

“I mean, a little, but that’s just general anxiety,” the younger boy said. “I’d rather go out every so often than stay chained up in here.”

“I get that,” Kuei said. He reached over to grab the cup off the table. He never questioned the addition of tea at every meeting. He never minded the drink, but it wasn’t his favorite either. He wondered if Zuko used it to comfort himself during their talks.

“Did you tell Lady Ursa?” he asked after a sip of today’s blend of oolong.

Zuko’s fingers whitened as he clutched the handle of his own cup tighter. “Yeah,” he said. “I did.”

“How did it go?” he asked.

“About as well as one can expect,” Zuko muttered. He looked down into the cup at the tea inside. “She feels really bad.”

“Well, she left right before it started, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, it makes sense as to why she’s internalizing the guilt.”

“It’s just…I wish I knew what to say to get her to realize this isn’t her fault.”

“Do you think what happened is your fault?”

Zuko stilled. “What do you mean?”

“Is this your fault?” Kuei asked, his eyes focused on Zuko’s. The firebender stared back at him. His hands were shaking, but he tried to ignore it. “It’s not a trick question.”

“It…depends on the day?”

“What?”

“I mean, sometimes I feel like it is, but other days…I don’t know. It’s easier to tell myself it isn’t on others.”

“Okay, well, on the days that you feel like it isn’t your fault, what do you tell yourself?” Kuei asked.

“Um…” Zuko stopped for a moment, contemplating what to say. He ran his fingers along the cup. The warmth that emanated from it grounded him. “That I was young and didn’t know what going on, and there’s no way I could’ve done anything to fight him off. And that…um…I guess that Father knew better, but he still hurt me for no other reason than his own personal gain.”

“Well, what if you tell Lady Ursa the same thing?” Kuei said. Zuko gave him a look of confusion, and the older man smiled. “Okay, well, maybe not the exact same thing, but the same premise. That she wouldn’t have known what would’ve happened if she left. Even if she did, it’s unlikely that she’d be able to fight him off either. That it’s no one else’s fault except Ozai’s. Does that make sense?”

Zuko nodded. “Yeah…yeah, it does.”

“It’s hard telling other people,” Kuei said. He rubbed Bosco’s head and smiled at the younger man. “I’m really proud of you.”

He smiled back. “Thanks. I…I really appreciate it.”

“So what else happened?” Kuei asked. “Anything important to note?”

“Well, um, there was something,” Zuko said. “This is going to sound weird, but I’m worried that I could be slipping again.”

Kuei paused. “What happened?”

“When I was telling Mom, I had this…I don’t know…lingering thought that I just…didn’t deserve her comfort.” Zuko lowered his eyes again. “I’m just stressed that I could be going downhill again.”

“Well, you picked up on it, and that’s a start,” Kuei said. “You’re aware of it. But remember how I told you that healing isn’t always linear? It’s okay if you’re not always making progress one hundred percent of the time.”

Zuko nodded. “Do you…do you think that I’m going to spiral? Like do you think this is just a sign of what’s to come?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kuei said. “And even if you do, I want you to know that we’re still here for you. It’s not going to be as bad as it was before.”

He nodded again. “Okay…”

“If something does happen,” Kuei said, “I want you to tell someone. I don’t care if it’s me or your uncle or Katara or whoever.”

“I will,” Zuko said.

“Okay, good,” Kuei said. He smiled. “Now, how are you and Katara doing? I haven’t heard about her in a little bit.”

* * *

“Are you sure we should be doing this now?” Suki whispered. “I mean, isn’t nighttime the prime time to sneak out?”

“That’s what they’re expecting,” Sokka said. “If we leave now, they’ll think we’re just going out to the city or something.”

“Oh, yeah,” Toph said sarcastically. “I’m sure that’s exactly what they’ll think.”

“Now, come on! We’ve got to be back before dinner!”

Toph nodded. Suki took Sokka’s hand, and the three of them began making their way down the palace hallways. They made sure not to walk too fast, that way they wouldn’t be seen as suspicious. However, Sokka’s hands were sweaty from nerves, and he knew his face would surely give them away if they ran into the other members of their friend group.

The front doors pushed open before Sokka could open them, and he froze.

_Crap, crap, crap, crap—_

“Good afternoon!” Iroh smiled warmly. “Have you been outside recently? The weather is lovely today!”

Sokka mentally thanked Yue, La, and any other spirits listening. He felt his muscles relax as he smiled back at the old man. “Welcome back! We’re actually on our way out to the city to enjoy the weather right now.”

“I’m surprised you’re back already,” Toph said, grinning wildly. “I thought you’d be in Ba Sing Se for at least another week.”

“I wanted to make sure I was here before Lady Ursa left,” Iroh said. “And I’m sure my nephew would appreciate the early visit.”

“Alright, well, we should probably get going,” Sokka said. He didn’t want to get caught by his sister or Aang, and the longer they waited, the higher the chances were. “Before the sun sets.”

“Enjoy the city!” Iroh said. “Will I see you at dinner?”

“Yeah, we should be back before then,” Suki said, smiling politely.

“See ya later, Uncle!” Toph said.

“See you in a bit,” Sokka added.

As they passed the man and left the palace walls, Sokka let out a sigh of relief. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s intuitive,” Toph said. She grinned. “But he doesn’t have my lie detector-feet!”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Suki said.

“Alright, let’s go kick some ex-Fire Lord butt!” Toph exclaimed. “For the second time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! I know this chapter is a little short, but I didn't want to overwhelm you, especially with the last super angsty chapter. I hope you still enjoyed it all the same! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments! I love reading your thoughts on the different chapters and the story so far! I hope you all have a great holiday, and stay safe! :)


	33. Back and Forth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things go well in the palace, Sokka, Toph, and Suki go to the prison to see Ozai.

“Zuko! It’s good to see you!”

Zuko whipped his head around, his golden eyes wide with shock. “Uncle?”

Iroh grinned. “In the flesh,” he joked. He spread his arms out as Zuko charged towards him and hugged him tightly. Iroh smiled into the taller man’s shoulder. Although he would never admit it, he appreciated how Zuko’s friends slowly accustomed him to being more affectionate through physical touch. It meant that he didn’t shy away as much and that he was more accepting of his uncle’s hugs. Iroh secretly loved it.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for another week and a half!”

“I couldn’t let your mother leave before I arrived,” Iroh said. He and Zuko broke the embrace, but he didn’t let go of the smile. “Do you know where she is?”

“She’s in the garden with Kiyi,” Zuko answered. “Once I finished up the paperwork, I was going to head over there.”

“How much more do you have?” Iroh asked, stroking the gray hair of his beard.

“Maybe about ten more minutes’ worth.”

“Then, I will make us all some tea in the meantime.” He watched as Zuko nodded and returned back to the desk of his office. “I will be in the kitchen if you need me.”

“Okay, Uncle,” Zuko said. Iroh nodded once and left his nephew’s office.

Walking down to the palace, he contemplated which type of tea he should make. Ursa used to like lavender tea, and he wondered if she still did.

As he turned the corner, his mind wandered to his conversation with Sokka, Toph, and Suki just before. There was something odd about the sound in Sokka’s voice and the look in Suki’s eyes. He knew something was wrong and that they weren’t being completely honest with him. However, he spent enough time with Zuko during his banishment to know that immediately confronting them would make it worse. They needed to make their own mistakes, and he would be there to help them clean up the mess. It was the only way they’d learn.

He just hoped it was nothing too bad or damaging.

Entering the palace kitchen, he decided he would talk to them tonight. He smiled at the staff and bowed slightly in respect, and three servants scooted to the side and allowed him to pass. He grabbed the teapot and several cups, along with the blend of lavender tea in the cupboard. Thankful for his nephew’s insistence on keeping the cabinets fully stocked with tea for his uncle, Iroh put everything on a long, pale platter. He balanced it carefully and made his way to the garden.

By the time he reached the area, Zuko had already beat him to it. A little girl sat on his lap, and his mother sat beside him. The three of them were underneath the tree and facing the pond—exactly where they’d always been.

Iroh smiled. Even throughout everything that happened, some things never changed.

“Iroh!” Ursa smiled and stood up, rushing over to the older man. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Lady Ursa, it is a pleasure,” he said. He handed the tray to the woman, whose hands were outstretched for it.

“You know you don’t have to call me that,” she said with a small smile. She bent down to place it on the soft grass. “I tell you this every time I see you.”

“And every time I see you, I tell you that I will always keep a title on your name.” He grinned. “I say it because I want to and no other reason. Now, come sit. I brought us some tea.”

He sat on the grass beside Zuko, and Ursa took her seat as before. Kiyi stayed where she was, curled up in her big brother’s lap. Zuko held her tightly as she touched the different parts of his Fire Lord attire with curious fingertips. However, as she squirmed to face Iroh, he loosened his grip on her.

“Uncle Iroh!” Kiyi reached her arms out to the man. “I missed you!”

“I’m surprised you remember me!” Iroh laughed. “I feel like you were so small when I saw you last.”

“It was only a year ago!”

“Ah, but a lot can change in only a short amount of time,” he said. He reached over slightly and pulled the platter closer to him. The water was already hot from when he’d grabbed it from the kitchen. He added the lavender buds to the top part of the teapot and waited for the tea to steep.

“How was your travel?” Ursa asked politely. “Did you have a safe trip to the Fire Nation?”

“Ah, yes!” Iroh smiled. “Traveling has become much safer without the war, and I am eternally grateful.”

A turtleduck waddled out of the pond and over towards Zuko’s kneecap. The Fire Lord gently lifted the little animal and brought it closer to his baby sister.

“Can I pet it?” Kiyi asked. Her eyes were wide with curiosity. The turtleduck quacked.

“Yes, but you have to be really careful,” Zuko answered. He brought his cupped hands closer to his sister. “You don’t want to hurt it.”

She nodded and slowly brought two fingers to the animal’s head. She slid her fingers down and stroked the turtleduck’s head as gently as she could.

“He’s really soft!” Kiyi giggled. Zuko smiled at his sister and pulled some seeds out of his pocket to feed to the turtleducks. He handed a few to the little girl, showing her the best way to feed them.

Iroh recognized the pride and love in his nephew’s eyes. He once harbored the same affection towards his own son, and even when he talked about Lu Ten, he knew the feelings still remained. Iroh never would’ve suspected how good Zuko would be with kids. As he traveled close behind his nephew during their split, he heard stories about how good he was with a young boy, Lee, before he had revealed his true identity and left the village for good. Iroh had seen Zuko comfort a servant’s upset child with his own eyes. He’d even seen him cheer up a crying infant during their time at the Jasmine Dragon. However, nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight in front of him. The way that Zuko so clearly cared for Kiyi was beyond what Iroh could’ve ever imagined.

During one of their nightly conversations after becoming refugees of the Earth Kingdom, Iroh remembered asking Zuko whether or not the boy would want to have children of his own someday. It had come after the teenager had taken care of a little boy during his shift at the tea shop. The weary mother struggled to cease her son’s tears, but a few minutes with Zuko had brightened the boy’s day.

_“You’re very good with kids, Prince Zuko,” Iroh said with a soft smile. He poured the tea into a cup before handing it to his nephew. Despite being around tea all day, Zuko accepted it without complaints. “I never expected it.”_

_Zuko simply shrugged and took a sip of the tea. Iroh sat down across from him. He propped up his elbows on the wooden table and looked off out the window. The sun had long past set, and the moon had taken its place in the sky. While the lanterns in the street had blocked some of the stars’ brightness, they were still noticeable, albeit faint._

_“Do you think you’ll ever have a family one day, nephew?” Iroh asked, turning back to look at the younger boy._

_Zuko choked on the tea in his throat, and Iroh had to stifle a laugh. The wide eyes and shocked facial expression made the older man smile._

_“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you must not have been expecting such a question.”_

_“No, it…it’s fine.” Zuko took another sip of his tea before putting the cup down. He cleared his throat to get the lump out of it. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” Iroh watched as Zuko’s eyes never left the rim of his teacup._

_“Maybe one day?” Iroh asked hopefully. He always loved the idea of grandkids running around the palace. After Lu Ten’s death, he knew it would be impossible. However, the idea returned once more. Maybe it wasn’t so impossible after all._

_“Probably not.” Zuko’s voice was stiff and emotionless. Iroh narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, watching his nephew from above the rim of the cup as he took a sip of his tea. “I don’t want to screw up my own kids like my father did.”_

_“You’re a different man than he is,” Iroh said. “You’re better than he will ever be. You’re compassionate and strong, and I know you would never hurt them like he’s hurt you.”_

_Zuko shrugged. He still didn’t look up at his uncle. “I don’t know.” He traced the handle of the cup. “I don’t know if I can take that risk and do that to them.”_

_Iroh nodded. “I understand.” He was saddened by the idea, but he understood why. He just wished his nephew would change his mind one day._

However, as he watched Zuko play with Kiyi and dote on her, the visions of grandchildren running around the palace one day came back, and he smiled.

He lifted the teapot and began pouring the tea for the four of them. “Where is Noren?” he asked Ursa as he handed her a cup.

“He’s with some of the servants right now,” Ursa said. She took a sip of the tea and smiled. “But he should be here soon.”

Iroh nodded and handed Zuko a cup. He gave it to Kiyi, whispering a warning of its temperature as she accepted it. He put the turtleduck down on the grass next to them, and the little girl laughed as it waddled away, back into the pond with the others.

He smiled. Maybe Zuko would change his mind one day.

* * *

“How much time do you think we have until dinner?” Toph asked. The ground was rough underneath her feet, but she couldn’t seem to care.

“Probably a few more hours,” Sokka said. “And we should probably bring back something from the city. You know, to prove that we were there.”

“Maybe some food?” Suki suggested.

“I like that idea!” Toph said, grinning at the other girl.

The three of them trudged up the hill. The prison loomed out from in front of them, shadows darkening the land they walked on.

“It’s just up ahead,” Sokka said. “What should we do to him?” He kicked a rock beneath his feet. “There’s not much we can do to him without Zuko’s knowledge.”

“Then, maybe just rough him up a little.” Toph pushed her fist into her open palm and grinned cheekily. “Just a little.”

Suki nodded. “Anything else, we wait for Zuko’s approval.”

“Okay, that works,” Sokka agreed.

When they reached the prison, two guards at the entrance bowed to them. Toph grinned. Saving the world really did have its perks.

They passed through several hallways, walking deeper and deeper underground towards the center of the prison—the area where the worst criminals were kept. The area Zuko had specifically asked for Ozai to be placed in.

Just as they reached the bottom of the staircase, they were met with a brass door. Toph put her hands on it to test its thickness, ready to bend it at will, but the guard stopped her.

“I’ll unlock it,” he said. “For Team Avatar.”

“Thank you,” she said respectfully, unable to hide the grin that pulled at her cheeks. The closer they got to the center of the prison, the more her fingers ached. Through her earthbending, she could already see Ozai in his cell. He was huddled up in the corner, unaware of the trio coming towards him.

They stepped through the door and began walking down the corridor. Toph kept her focus on the distant vibrations of Ozai, which were coming closer and closer with each step.

Suddenly, Sokka stopped.

“We can’t.”

“What?” Toph gawked. “What do you mean ‘we can’t?’ We’re already here!”

“No, I mean…I mean, we can’t do this,” Sokka said. He lowered his arm, dropping the boomerang to his hip. “We can’t do this to Zuko, no matter how much Ozai deserves it.”

“I agree,” Suki said. She tucked her fans away. “This isn’t right.”

“You guys! If we don’t do this now, Zuko’s never going to do it,” Toph said.

“But we shouldn’t,” Suki said. “I’m sorry, Toph.”

“Well, if you’re not going to do it,” she said, her eyebrows knitting in perseverance, “then I guess I’ll just have to go alone.” She immediately turned around and continued walking straight down the hallway.

“Wait, Toph, no!” Sokka chased after her, but the younger girl was relentless. Stomping further and further down the corridor, she ignored the hushed cries of the other two.

Upon reaching the cell, she felt the vibrations shift. No longer huddled against the wall and feeling each of his breaths.

“Well, if it isn’t the three traitors who mocked me just after the comet,” Ozai sneered. “What are you doing here?”

“We heard what you did,” Toph snapped before Sokka or Suki could say anything.

Ozai smirked. “You’ve got to be more descriptive than that.”

“Toph,” Suki warned, “don’t.” Her voice had an edge to it. However, the unspoken words rang clear. _Don’t tell him that you know he hurt Zuko._

“You’re lucky you’re behind bars,” Sokka said. It didn’t matter that Toph could bend the metal without an ounce of exertion. Knowing they were there made him feel better.

“Enlighten me,” Ozai said, curling his lip as he spoke. “To what do I owe the pleasure? Your friend’s explanation is quite vague, don’t you agree?”

“You don’t get to ask us any questions,” Sokka snapped. “Don’t forget who put you down here, _Loser Lord._ ” He knew the nickname was just rubbing it in, but he couldn’t help himself.

Ozai’s eyes narrowed. “Even after almost a year, you still couldn’t come up with a better insult, could you?”

Toph bent the floor underneath him, a sharp column rising directly in front of him and piercing the collar of his ragged prison shirt. She raised the rod of earth up to the ceiling, pinning him by the tattered cloth.

“Listen to me,” she growled. “Aang may have shown you mercy, but that doesn’t mean I will.” Her unseeing eyes held fury. She was seething, and the others knew it. She was surprised neither Sokka nor Suki had stopped her. “You’re a worthless, spineless slime, and Zuko should be ashamed to have you as a father. You call him an embarrassing disgrace, but really, I think you’re just projecting.”

Ozai laughed. It was chilling. Toph’s anger grew, and she dropped the earthen column. He hit the floor with a loud bang.

“Is that what this is about?” he asked. “Even as the Fire Lord, he still can’t stand up for himself, can he? He needs his posse of rejects to do it for him.”

As Toph stepped forward to bend the walls out and crush his trachea, she felt a weight on her wrist. She didn’t need to look to know it was Sokka.

“Stop, he’s not worth it,” he said.

Toph dropped the position, but not before cracking Ozai in the skull with a chunk of rock. Not enough to kill him, but just enough to bruise. She spit on him through the bars. “You’re disgusting.”

Suki knelt down and leaned into the bars. “The only thing stopping us from not breaking every last one of your bones is Zuko. You should be grateful to have him. You don’t deserve him and his kindness. Not after everything you’ve done to him.”

She turned away and began walking down the hallway. Sokka looked towards her before turning back to face the man behind the bars.

“Once he gives us the word, we’re coming back,” Toph said. Her voice was calm, deceivingly so. “And when we do, you’ll be praying to the spirits for death. But we aren’t that merciful.” Her pale eyes narrowed. “Don’t get too comfy,” she said. With that, she turned around to follow Suki down the hallway.

Sokka watched the man. He didn’t dare dip his head down and break the eye contact of the younger man on the opposite side of the bars. Sokka didn’t know whether he was brave or simply proud.

He didn’t say anything as he left him alone to rot in the cell.

* * *

Katara stood at the mirror in Zuko’s bedroom. She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out the braid gently. Her curls fell down across her back and shoulders. She placed the ribbon on the dresser for safekeeping before turning to look at her boyfriend behind her.

Zuko was already laying on his bed. Flipped onto his side and curled up slightly, he had one hand behind his pillow and the covers at his feet.

Katara giggled and crossed over to the bed. She slid in beside him and pulled the comforter up. “You’re already tired?” she asked.

“The sun’s been down for a while,” Zuko said, his voice thick and sleepy. “I’m sorry that I don’t rise with the moon like you do.”

“You should be,” Katara joked. “How am I supposed to see you if you work all day and sleep all night?” She reached up and pulled out the hairpiece that he hadn’t taken out of his topknot. She placed the golden crown on the nightstand, followed by the hair tie. His glossy, raven hair fell to the pillow, and Katara laced her fingers through the locks gently. Sliding them up to the top of his scalp, she let her fingers rub the crown of his head where she knew his hair hurt the most.

Zuko exhaled and tilted his head back slightly. She watched as his eyes fluttered shut, and she smiled. She adored playing with his hair. It was so different from hers; while she had thick curls, his hair was soft as silk and straighter than an arrow. She loved the feeling of it under her fingertips, and more importantly, his reactions. She wondered if anyone had ever played with his hair before she came along.

“Come lay down with me,” Katara said. As she laid on her back, she watched as Zuko flipped over and crawled over to her. He pressed a sleepy kiss to her cheek before dropping his head on her chest. He wrapped his arms around her and let his eyelids flutter shut again.

Katara smiled. He felt like a weighted blanket on top of her, and it was incredibly soothing. His skin was warm, just enough to be comfortable without making her too hot. She brought her fingers back up to his scalp and continued massaging the tension away.

“Mmm, that feels nice,” Zuko said. His voice was laced with sleep. It made Katara’s heart flutter.

“You’re going to fall asleep immediately, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Maybe.”

She smiled and kissed the top of his head. He hugged her a little tighter.

“I’m going to miss you so much when I go back to the Southern Water Tribe,” she said.

“Me too,” Zuko said. “I’ll write to you all the time.”

“You’d better,” Katara said with a laugh. “Otherwise, I’ll stay down there even longer as revenge.”

He smiled sleepily. She could feel his breaths slowing down. He was going to fall asleep soon.

“I’ll write to you a lot too,” she promised. “I’ll tell you all about what’s going on. Maybe one day, you can come with me.” She kissed his head again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

That was the last thing she heard before they both fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was craving something fluffy and soft, so I hope you don't mind! 
> 
> Also, I was showing my younger sister the show for the first time, and we were on "Avatar Day" in season two. The mayor, Tong, spoke a whopping two words, and she immediately says, "That's the goose man from Kung Fu Panda! The panda's dad!" She made me pause it to look it up, and lo and behold...they have the same voice actor. Because I can no longer hear him the same way, I figured I'd ruin it for you guys too. Sorry in advance! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and thank you for the kudos and comments on the story!! :)


	34. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iroh talks to Sokka, Suki, and Toph about going to prison. Meanwhile, Zuko comforts Katara from a nightmare of her own.

“I still wish we beat his face in,” Toph grumbled. She sat in the courtyard, her feet propped up on a rock. Sokka sat on his knees close by. He had his arm tossed over Suki’s shoulders lazily, but she didn’t seem to mind the weight.

“You need to be quiet,” Suki hissed. “What if someone hears us?”

“So what?” Toph said. “What will they do? Agree with me?”

“You know we shouldn’t have gone there,” Suki said. “We really shouldn’t have.” She put her face in her hands. “Spirits, why are we so stupid?”

“Hey, it’s not our fault!” Toph crossed one ankle over the other. “Besides, if you ask me, I’d say our actions are justified.”

“If Katara or Aang find out, they’re going to be pissed,” Suki said. She dropped her hand and put it on Sokka’s thigh. Her fingertips rested on his kneecap. “And if Zuko finds out, we might lose his trust.”

“I’m sure he would understand where we were coming from.” Toph shrugged.

“Stop, I can’t think,” Sokka said.

“Yeah, what’s new?” Toph teased. She leaned forward to punch his arm playfully. When he didn’t react, her eyes softened. “Is this about—”

“Yes! Of course, it’s about that!”

“Shhh!” Suki hissed. “Be quiet!”

Sokka groaned. He dropped his arm off his girlfriend’s shoulders and fell backward, hitting the ground. “We really just went behind his back,” he said, more to himself than the others. “We really went behind his back and talked to his dad when he didn’t want us to.” He ran his fingers through his wolf tail. “We’re idiots. We’re idiots and bad friends.”

“Oh, relax, Sir Stress Ball,” Toph said. “It’s probably fine. It’s not even like we really did anything to him anyway.”

“That’s not the point,” Suki said. “I’m with Sokka. We really shouldn’t have done this.”

“Oh, are you seriously regretting it too?”

“Toph, I don’t think you understand how important this is!” Sokka cried out. “It’s not like we’re fighting against your parents for babying you or my dad for leaving. Ozai _raped_ him! And we went behind his back and…” His voice died out. “He’s going to be so upset.”

“If we apologize to him now—”

“Apologize?” Sokka said, cutting off Suki’s proposal. “There’s no way we’re telling him about this! We need to keep our mouths shut!”

“Sokka, are you serious?” Suki glared at him. “We can’t just ignore it!”

“Yes, we can!” he exclaimed.

“Someone’s coming!” Toph jerked upward, her pale eyes wide. “Stop talking!”

“Who’s there?” Sokka shouted out into the courtyard. The sky was dark, and shadows disguised everything except the nearby bushes and statues.

“It’s just me.” A figure stepped out onto the stone platform in the center of the courtyard, right where the other three were.

“Uncle Iroh!” Toph exclaimed. She stood up and ran over to him to hug his wide torso.

“Our, um…our day out in the city was really fun,” Sokka said quickly. “The weather was really nice, just like you said.”

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Iroh said. “I know where you went.”

Sokka and Suki blanched. Toph tried to keep her face steely, but Iroh didn’t budge.

“How…how did you know?” Suki asked.

“I’ve spent enough time with my nephew to know when he’s lying to me,” he said. “Granted, he’s a terrible liar.” He chuckled to himself before looking back to the others. “But I know that look.”

“You can’t tell Zuko we went to see his father,” Sokka said.

“Sokka!” Toph punched him in the arm, hard enough to bruise.

“What? He already knew we were lying!” Sokka shrilled.

“Why did you visit him?” Iroh’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “There is no reason to see him anymore.”

“We just wanted to…I don’t know.” Sokka slumped into himself, dropping his shoulders and lowering his eyebrows sadly. “Get back at him.”

“Get back at him?” Iroh repeated.

“Sokka,” Suki whispered. “We don’t know how much he knows.”

“He’s his uncle,” Sokka said. He turned to look at her with defeated eyes. “And Zuko said he found him the next morning.”

“The next morning?” The confusion in his amber eyes suddenly turned to realization. “Did…did Zuko tell you about…” Iroh trailed off, as if he couldn’t make himself finish the statement.

“Yeah,” Suki said. “He told us on our trip to Ember Island.”

Iroh nodded. “I’ve heard rumors that the island smooths even the roughest of stones and that the beach will do the same to its people.”

“Yeah, we…uh, we had a deep conversation,” Sokka said. “And he told us everything.”

“We went to the prison to kick his face in,” Toph admitted. She focused her unseeing eyes in Iroh’s direction. “Because Aang didn’t do a good enough job during Sozin’s Comet.”

Iroh exhaled. “And Zuko doesn’t know you went?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Suki said. “He didn’t want to do anything at all to him, but Ozai deserves to be punished.”

“I agree.” Iroh nodded, but his eyes were downcast. “And as much as I wish we could do something about it, that isn’t what Zuko wants.” He took a breath before continuing. “That morning after, he looked so broken. I wanted to burn my brother’s throat closed and choke him to death. But he asked me not to tell anyone, so I forced myself to keep his secret—even at the expense of his health.” He looked back up at the other three. “Knowing that he told you makes me feel much better.”

“I don’t know if he would’ve told us otherwise,” Toph said. “I mean, we were already spilling our secrets and trauma, so if we hadn’t…I don’t know. He might not have told us.”

“My nephew is very tight-lipped about his personal life,” Iroh said. “I am very grateful he told you, but you mustn’t go back to Ozai otherwise. Not without Zuko’s knowledge. Tell me, what did you do to him?”

“Nothing really,” Sokka said. “Toph pinned him to the ceiling, but that was about it.”

“Good,” Iroh said with a nod. “Please, don’t do anything else to him without my nephew’s knowledge. I know how hard it must’ve been to tell you about what happened. It will only be harder for him if he knows you’re sneaking around too.”

“We won’t do it again,” Suki said. “Not unless he asks us.”

Iroh smiled. “Thank you.”

“Can I ask you something?” Toph said, pulling on the side of Iroh’s tunic slightly. “What is the punishment for rape in the Fire Nation? I mean, Sokka said that in the Southern Water Tribe, they castrated them and left them alone in the middle of the tundra for dead. But what about the Fire Nation?”

Iroh grimaced. “Honestly, not much is done. It’s only a few years in prison, and even then, the victim gets blamed more often than not.”

“Is…is that why Zuko doesn’t want us to do anything?” Suki said. Her voice was so quiet, barely more than a whisper. But through the silence of the night, they all heard her clearly.

“I don’t know,” Iroh said, “but it wouldn’t surprise me. The Fire Nation soldiers constantly pillaged and raped during the war, to the point where it didn’t faze them anymore. That’s part of the reason why it goes…unpunished.”

Sokka dropped his head. “So if Zuko does want retribution for Ozai…will…do you think he’ll get it?”

Iroh smiled sadly. “He’s the Fire Lord, so I think he can pull a few strings.”

“I just wish things were different,” Toph said. She rested her chin in her hand and focused on the others’ movements as they stared off into the sky.

* * *

Zuko woke up to pitch black. His heart pounded rapidly from the quick awakening. Something was wrong.

He moved slightly and immediately noticed that Katara’s weight was no longer on him, not like it was when they fell asleep.

“Katara?” Zuko asked sleepily. He turned over to see his girlfriend turned away from him. She was curled up on her side in an uncomfortable position. He placed his hand on her back gently. “Kat, it’s me.”

As he leaned in, he could hear quiet whimpers fall from her throat. Zuko knitted his eyebrows and laid down beside her. He tucked his body into hers, spooning her and wrapping his arms around her figure. He moved the thin strap of her nightgown and kissed her bare shoulder.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Zuko laid still, listening to the sound of Katara’s breathing. However, her small whimpers soon turned to cries. He cuddled her closer as the noises that escaped her throat grew louder and louder.

“Hey, Kat,” Zuko whispered. He gently rubbed her back to wake her up. “It’s just a nightmare. You’ve got to wake up.”

Suddenly, she gasped, a loud shriek clawing its way from her. She jerked awake. Her chest heaved, and her heart pounded. Even in the dark, Zuko could see the gleam in her eyes from her tears.

“Zuko?” Katara asked. Her voice was watery from tears and panicked.

“Yeah, it’s just me.” He rested his chin on her shoulder and kissed her neck. “You just had a nightmare.”

Katara flipped to her other side to look at Zuko. She rested her head on his chest. He didn’t say anything when her tears hit his bare skin. Instead, he rubbed her back, waiting as she let out her emotions.

“We lost,” she whispered into his skin. “The sky was red from the comet, and Azula…she…” She inhaled shakily.

“It’s okay,” Zuko soothed. He kissed the top of her head. “It’s alright.”

“I dreamed that I couldn’t beat her. That she was too strong, and Aang couldn’t take care of Ozai, and the others couldn’t take out enough airships, and…and I dreamed that I lost you.”

Zuko wrapped her up in his embrace, raising his body temperature a few degrees to comfort her with his warmth. “We’re safe,” he whispered into her hair. “We took them out, and we’re safe now.”

“It felt so real,” she said back, her voice low.

“It was real, at one point. But it’s over now, and we won.”

Katara nodded against him, but the flow of tears still continued down her skin and into his.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Zuko said. He kissed her temple and nuzzled his nose into her thick hair.

Katara let out a scoff. It didn’t have the same power as her usual ones though. This one was watery from her cries. “Oh, please. You have nightmares all the time too.”

“We all do,” he said. He cuddled her closer, pulling his arms tighter around her. Her scent was intoxicating. Flowers, and ocean water, and _Katara_.

“We shouldn’t have to.” She shook her head sadly. “We shouldn’t have to go through this.”

“War does that to people,” Zuko said.

They laid together in silence, simply holding each other as Katara eventually calmed her breathing down and ran out of tears.

“Do you think they’ll ever end?” she whispered. Her voice rang clear in the silence of the room. It reminded Zuko of the music nights on his ship.

“Eventually,” he said. He looked out into the ceiling. The typical red was black from shadows. “Eventually.”

* * *

“I’m sorry you had to be the one to take care of me.” Katara’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. “Especially when I was like that.”

Zuko hugged her closer to him. She was already warm from cuddling with him the entire night, and now that the sunlight was streaming in through the open window, it was just one more source of heat.

As the sunlight pooled over her, Zuko felt his heart melt. Her dark skin seemed to glow, and her chocolate hair reflected the light like gold. She was gorgeous.

“Hey, don’t apologize,” he said. He buried his face in her hair. “You always take care of me when I have nightmares. It’s about time I return the favor.”

“But you shouldn’t have to see me like that.” Her voice was low, but Zuko still heard each word. He wrapped his arms closer around her, tighter.

“It’s okay,” he whispered into her hair. “We all get nightmares after what happened. The war’s been brutal, and we’re all so screwed up from it.” He pushed her messy hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck. “There’s no shame in it.”

Katara smiled. She flipped over onto her other side. Her sapphire eyes glistened like the ocean under her long eyelashes. “I could tell you the same thing.”

She pressed her lips to his, and he immediately melted into her touch. Her lips were soft and warm, and he wished they could stay like this forever. He felt her shift slightly and bring her arms up to the back of his neck. She gently tugged his bottom lip with her teeth, and he immediately moaned into the kiss. She smiled against his lips.

He didn’t know who broke away first or if they did it at the same time. The only thing he could register was his own breathlessness and the color of Katara’s eyes—blue like the waves of the oceans, and aquamarines, and sapphires, and forget-me-nots, and everything that was beautiful in the world.

He saw her lips move, but the words didn’t register.

“What?”

Katara giggled and pulled him into another kiss, this one shorter than the last one. When she pulled away, she smiled. “I said that a few months ago, you could’ve used this same advice. I’m proud of how far you’ve come.”

He smiled back at her. “You and the others are kind of responsible for that.”

“Oh, don’t give us all the credit!” She swatted at his chest playfully. His heart soared as he watched the smile on her face grow.

_Agni, I love her._

“You’ve been helping yourself,” Katara continued. “You’ve been more honest to us about whenever you’re going through something, and you’re accepting help more. Really, this is your doing more than anyone else’s.”

She leaned forward to kiss his cheekbone, directly on the scar. His heart fluttered. A year ago, he never would’ve let anyone touch him there. But now…

_Maybe I am healing._

“As much as I appreciate it, this conversation isn’t about me,” Zuko said. He kissed her forehead as she pouted. “You’re allowed to have nightmares, and you don’t have to feel bad about it. I’m not upset at you for having them, and you shouldn’t be either.”

She nodded. “It’s just hard because I’m so used to being the one to take care of everyone.”

“But you deserve the support just like everyone else does.” He kissed the top of her head as he felt her nestle into his chest a little more. He tightened his hold on her and squeezed her gently. “You help everyone else. You should let us help you.”

She smiled against his skin. “Thanks, Zuko.”

He threaded his fingers through her hair. There were several knots from her nightmare and general sleeping, but he brushed them out carefully. “Is it just nightmares?” Zuko asked. He played with the baby hairs near her temple and the nape of her neck. “Or do you get flashbacks too?”

“Just nightmares, thankfully,” she said. “I don’t know what I would do if I got flashbacks. Luckily, the nightmares aren’t super often though. Not like yours.” She nuzzled her nose into his skin and inhaled deeply. Zuko wondered if she was breathing in his scent like he did to her.

“Dissociating?”

“No.” Katara pulled away from his chest to look into his eyes. “What is that like, anyway?”

Zuko shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s like…you’re watching your body function, but you’re not in control. Like autopilot, I guess. For me, dissociating typically turns to flashbacks because I can’t ground myself. Sometimes, it’s the other way around.”

“So when your uncle and I found you several weeks back…”

“I don’t think I was dissociating then,” he said. “That was just a panic attack that turned into a flashback. When it was just you, I was dissociating first, and then it became a flashback.”

“But your uncle…he said you were dissociating?”

Zuko shrugged. “It was still pretty common, but it blended so often that I think he just assumes that’s what’s happened.”

“So what does dissociating look like?”

“Spacing out? I guess?”

Katara nodded. “I’ll remember that.”

Zuko draped his arm over Katara lazily and kissed her forehead. “How long do you think we have until the others wake up?”

Katara arched over to look out the window at the sun. “I’d say at least another hour.”

He kissed her temple. “Wanna go swim in the underground pond?”

She grinned and kicked the covers off them before sitting up. She held his face—each hand on his jaw with her fingers behind his ear and her thumbs on his cheeks—and kissed him passionately. When she pulled away, Zuko felt the breath leave his lungs.

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to get to the point of the story where I know exactly what I want for the end, but I'm not sure when the end will come. I think I've decided that at most, the story will have fifty chapters. 
> 
> The chapters have been getting harder for me to write because from now to the end, I don't have a clear path on how I want it to flow. I've always been playing the story by ear, but now, it's just getting harder. 
> 
> Despite that, I hope you liked this chapter. It's not as plot-heavy as the previous few have been, but I hope they've been enjoyable all the same. :)


	35. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and his friends say goodbye to his family, and Katara begins packing for the trip home.

Zuko squeezed the hand inside of his. Katara’s skin was smooth, and her hand was much smaller than his. However, he adored it. Turning his head to look at the girl beside him, he felt his heart flutter. Her hair was still sopping wet from where she refused to waterbend it out. Her cheeks were slightly pink from exertion, and she smelled like flowers coated in early morning dew.

_I don’t deserve her._

“You take a dip in the fountain in the courtyard this morning?” Sokka asked, his mouth full of fish.

“Something like that,” Katara answered. She reached down to give Momo a chunk of her plum bun. Zuko wondered if Toph would call them out on it, but she kept her mouth shut.

“So we have two more days before we head out,” Suki said. “How do you guys want to spend our last couple of days together?”

“Well, Prince Pouty, do you have any meetings?” Toph asked. Her feet were propped up on the table, and her chair was leaned back so that she balanced on its two back legs.

“Come on, Toph, don’t be like that,” Aang said. He grinned. “You know he’s not a _prince_ anymore.”

“Oh, you’re right!” Toph smirked. “My apologizes, my dearest Fire Lord.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “You know you don’t have to call me that.”

“Do you like ‘Your Flamey-ness’ better?” Aang asked.

“No.”

“Oh, no, no! I got it!” Sokka dropped the chopsticks onto his plate and waved his hands dramatically. “We should call you ‘Your Honor.’ Get it? Like a judge, but also because you were obsessed with—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Zuko interrupted. However, that didn’t stop the laughter from erupting around the table.

“Well, you never answered the question,” Toph said. “Did you have any meetings today?”

“Just one,” he answered. He reached over to grab some mango from the bowl in the center of the table. “It’s at ten, but after that, my family is leaving. I need to see them off.”

“Oh, I want to be there to say goodbye too!” Katara said. “What time are they going?”

“Just after lunch.”

“I want to say goodbye to Kiyi,” Sokka said. “I’m going to miss that wild child.”

“Hey, I’m the only wild child you need!” Toph said. She flung a piece of fruit towards Sokka’s head. Momo swooped over and caught it before it hit the ground.

“You’re training her to be your right-hand man, aren’t you?” Sokka asked. Chewed ash banana bread spewed from his mouth as he spoke, but Toph didn’t seem to care in the slightest. “That makes her a wild child too.”

“That’s fair,” she said. She grinned. “But I’m still the original!”

“Always.”

“Don’t destroy my sister like that,” Zuko said. Despite his words, he couldn’t hide the smile that pulled at his lips. “She’s the only sane one of the three of us, and I’d like to keep her that way.”

“Well, with a gene pool like that,” Toph joked. Zuko kicked her playfully under the table, and she laughed wildly.

Zuko grinned. It was times like this where he was glad for his friends. His father never would’ve accepted their shenanigans. Kicking someone under the table was not permitted, and he would’ve been severely punished if Ozai saw him acting like this. He wondered if this was what families were supposed to be like.

“But Your Honor, if it really means that much to you, I guess we’ll keep her from being too crazy.” Toph broke off a piece of her own plum bun and tossed it up into the air. She caught it in her mouth, grinned, chewed, and stuck out her tongue to show off the food.

“Gross, swallow that,” Katara said. “No one wants to see that.”

“Oh, lighten up, Mom.”

“Speaking of mom, are you going to Gaoling, Toph?” Suki asked.

“Nope. I’m staying here until Zuko kicks me out himself.”

“You know that’s never going to happen,” Zuko said.

“Exactly, Hot Stuff.” She swallowed the food in her mouth. “Maybe one day, I’ll go down to the Southern Water Tribe with you guys though. I’m curious what all the rage is about the ice.”

“Could you even see on it?” Sokka asked.

Toph shrugged. “Is there land under the ice or do you guys stand on straight water?”

“Not sure,” he admitted. “There’s too much snow to be sure.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Yes, there’s land. It’ll probably be like the desert though. You remember how you said the sand made your vision fuzzy? The snow will probably do the same thing.”

“Okay, that’s better than nothing. That ice bridge you made on the Serpent’s Pass…yeah, I can’t do that again.”

“We should all go to the Southern Water Tribe sometime,” Aang said. “I think it’d be really nice!”

“Road trip on Appa!” Sokka exclaimed. He threw a piece of komodo sausage up in the air and caught it in his mouth, just like Toph did.

“Stop throwing your food,” Katara said. “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to play with it at this point.”

“Some things never change, you know that?” Aang said with a small chuckle. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, waiting for Katara’s outburst about not being motherly. However, it never came.

“Speaking of how things never change,” Toph began, “you know how we never listen to you?”

Sokka and Suki froze immediately. Katara furrowed her eyebrows and gave Toph a curious look. “Yes…?”

“Well, we did that again.” She took a bite of her fish nonchalantly. However, that wasn’t good enough for Katara.

“What did you do?” She leaned forward, narrowing her eyes at the younger girl. “Should it be something we’re worried about? Dangerous? Illegal? Did you commit insurance fraud again?”

“Oh, relax, it’s not that bad,” Toph said. She rocked her chair back a little further. “We just went to see Zuko’s dad in prison. That’s all.”

The table grew silent.

Sokka and Suki were still, their eyes wide in shock. Aang’s jaw had dropped, and Katara’s eyes held unbridled fury.

But Zuko felt his whole body freeze up. His chest hurt, and his throat clenched tighter. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His muscles locked up. He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move.

_Agni, Agni, Agni. They saw him. They saw him. He knows that they know, and now, he’s going to find me._

“Why would you do that?” Katara slammed her hands on the table and pushed herself up out of her seat. “I told you not to go! Aang told you not to go! Why would you ignore both of us?”

“Because, Sweetness,” Toph said nonchalantly, “Sparky deserves justice, and he’s not going to get that if no one does anything about it.”

“Getting revenge is only going to make this worse,” Aang said. “You shouldn’t have gone there.”

“That wasn’t up to you to decide,” Katara continued. “Zuko was the only one who could’ve chosen that.”

_He knows. He knows, he knows, he knows._

“Look, we went there, realized we shouldn’t do anything, and left,” Sokka said. “We didn’t even do anything.”

“Oh, really?” Katara said. “And I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Yeah, you are,” Toph said, “cause it’s the truth. I pinned him to the ceiling, dropped him, and we left. That was it.”

“You pinned him to the ceiling?!” Aang shrieked. “How is that doing nothing?”

“Well, it’s certainly better than what we were going to do to him!”

_He told me not to tell anyone. He knows that I told them, and now, he’s going to punish me._

“That wasn’t your choice!”

_I deserve it. I deserve to be punished. I told them. I disobeyed him._

“But it was our responsibility! Especially since no one else was going to do anything!”

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

“Zu—”

Zuko pushed himself out of his chair. It scooted back behind him loudly. The noise made the room silent.

“I…I need to go.”

Trying to control his shaking hands, he turned away from the others and rushed back to his room. It took everything to ignore their shocked silence.

He tried to focus on the walls to ground himself as he hightailed his way back to his bedroom. But instead, it felt like the walls were closing in on him. His breath caught inside his lungs. He needed to get to the room.

He barely managed to close the door behind him before he plummeted to the bed. His hands were shaking, and his mind was swimming. He could hear someone breathing heavily, hyperventilating.

_Ground yourself, ground yourself, ground yourself._

He buried his fingers into the sheets and tried to claw his eyes open.

_Five things I can see. Portraits. Bedpost. Wardrobe. Door. Wall._

His mind felt rushed. His lungs burned. The bed was shaking from underneath him.

_Four things I can feel._

He tightened his grip on the bedsheets. They felt satiny underneath him. He tried to concentrate on the texture.

Soon, he lifted his hand up to run it along the bedpost. The wood was rough against his fingertips. He tried to focus on it.

After a few moments, he brought his hand behind him to the pillow. Pressing his hand deeper into it, he felt it sink under his touch. It was full of feathers—much softer than the wood of the bedpost.

_One more._

His chest was still tight, and his head started to pound, but he forced himself to raise his head up to look around the room for something to feel. He didn’t want to move from his spot on the bed, and there was nothing close enough to him to grab. Ultimately, he decided to grab the bottom of his shirt.

_It’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe_ , he thought. He rubbed the hem of his tunic, feeling each individual stitch in the cloth. Touch was always his favorite part of the grounding technique Iroh had taught him. The different textures seemed to calm him down better than simply staring around the room trying to look or listen for things.

After several minutes, he moved on. _Three things I can hear._

He wanted to close his eyes to listen better, but he couldn’t find it in him. He needed to keep them open. He couldn’t subject himself to the dangers of his mind.

_Breathing. Someone is breathing._

The breaths were heavy, quicker than usual and sharp. It took him a while to realize the breaths were his. He wasn’t hyperventilating anymore, which was a start, but they were still uneven.

His nose burned. His lungs burned. He didn’t want to focus on the breathing anymore.

_Okay, what else? I can only hear breathing. I can’t hear anything else. Agni, I need two more things. What if I can’t find more than one thing? Spirits, you’re a failure at coping mechanisms too._

_Footsteps. Yeah, that counts. Wait. Footsteps?_

He listened closer. Just as he thought, he could hear footsteps coming towards him. They were down the hallway. His mind started to race again.

_He’s coming. He’s coming, he’s coming, and—_

Someone knocked on the door.

His mind was flooded with panic, but his thoughts were muddled. His only clear thought was that he finally had the three sounds he needed.

The door opened slowly, and Zuko gripped the comforters tighter. His knuckles were white from his grip. He felt the mattress shift slightly underneath him, and he froze.

“Zuko, it’s just me.”

He turned his head a little to see Katara sitting down next to him. She slowly dragged her hand across the bed until her fingers traced his figure. He was grateful she didn’t raise her hand to touch him.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

His throat hurt. His lungs burned. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Not trusting his voice, he nodded.

Katara sighed and laid down next to him. She pressed her body up against his, spooning him. He knew his muscles were tight underneath her touch, but he couldn’t seem to relax.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “We shouldn’t have argued in front of you. I know that only made it worse.”

He nodded, hoping she understood it meant forgiveness and not agreement.

She tucked her arms over his ribs and kissed his shoulders. Although her lips weren’t on bare skin, he could still feel the love emanating from her.

He finally felt safe enough to close his eyes.

_It’s okay. Katara has my back. Literally._

He felt her shift until she was leaning over him slightly.

“I know the others feel bad too,” she said. “I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you later to apologize. Especially Suki and Sokka. Toph’s still pretty firm in her opinion, but she feels bad about making you panic.”

_Two things I can smell. The flowers on her skin and the fruit on her breath._

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. They were soft and warm, but gentle. Hesitant. As if she wanted to comfort him but didn’t want to push him.

_One thing I can taste: her kiss._

* * *

“Are you sure we have to leave?” Kiyi whined. Her brown eyes were full of sadness and tears that she refused to let fall.

“Yes, sweetie, we have to go back home,” Ursa said. “Who’s going to run the theater if Daddy’s not there?” She ruffled her daughter’s hair, but that didn’t stop the pout that pulled at her bottom lip.

“Can’t we stay just a little bit longer?”

“We’ll be back soon,” Noren said. Kiyi nodded and dropped his hand sadly. She immediately bolted to Zuko. She buried her face in his side and wrapped her arms around his hips.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said. He knelt down on one knee and swept his baby sister up into a tight hug. “I’m going to see you soon, okay?”

“It’s not the same,” she pouted.

“Maybe not, but you’re going to be so distracted by school that you won’t even notice,” he said. He stroked her brown hair as she pushed her face into his shoulder.

“I’m still going to miss you.”

“And I’m going to miss you too,” Zuko said. “But I’m going to see you again soon.”

“Do you promise?” Kiyi pulled away, holding out her pinky finger to him.

“Yeah, I pinky promise.” He stuck out his little finger and locked pinkies with Kiyi. His finger was much larger than hers, so he made sure to be extra gentle. “Now, go say goodbye to the others,” Zuko said, nudging her slightly. “They’re going to miss you too.”

“Okay!” she exclaimed. She ran over to Katara, who squatted down to hug the little girl.

He was grateful that his family was leaving later than initially planned. He didn’t want them to say goodbye to him and his friends before they talked about the events at breakfast. Before he calmed down and asked them what in the name of Agni they were thinking when they saw Ozai.

_“You deserve justice, Zuko,” Toph had said. “You know you didn’t deserve what happened to you, and you know that he needs to pay.”_

_“Maybe eventually, but not right now,” Zuko said. “I don’t want to face him right now.”_

_“You don’t have to,” Sokka said. Toph nodded, cracking her knuckles._

_“Yeah, I will,” he said. “Eventually. I’ll let you know when.”_

_“I’m holding you to that, Sparky.”_

“You’re going to be okay?” Ursa asked as she looped her arms around her son’s shoulders. Zuko blinked, pulling himself out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he said. “And if something happens, I’ll write to you.”

“Okay, but you can always come to Hira’a too. You know we love seeing you.”

He nodded against Ursa’s shoulder before pulling away. He turned to Noren, who gave him a smile and a hug.

“We’re in the process of a new production,” Noren said, embracing his stepson. “We’re sending for you so that you can make the premiere.”

“I’m going to try to make it down in time,” Zuko said. “Just save me a spot.”

“Will do.” He grinned as they pulled apart. “You’re always welcome at the house.”

Zuko smiled at his parents. It was bittersweet to see them leave, but he knew he’d seen them again.

Iroh hugged Ursa, whispering something in her ear. She gave a solemn nod, but Zuko couldn’t make out their conversation. Instead, he turned to look towards his friends and baby sister. Kiyi was sitting on Aang’s shoulders, and Toph was on Sokka’s. The two girls playfully shoved each other, as if they were playing a game of komodo-chicken. However, Zuko noticed Toph was being more careful than usual; she didn't want to actually knock the little girl off Aang's shoulders.

“Come on, Kee,” Zuko said. “You’ve got to make it back to Hira’a before your bedtime.”

She nodded, and Aang placed her back on the ground. She gave them all a quick group hug before rushing over to her family again.

“I’ll see you in a little while, Kiyi,” Iroh said, scooping her up in one last hug. She giggled and hugged him back.

“I’ll miss you, Uncle,” she said, eliciting a smile from the older man. She set her down, and she ran over to Noren. She stuck her arms out towards him. He lifted her up and balanced her on his hip, even though she was getting to be too big to be carried like that.

“We’ll see you all soon,” Noren said, smiling at the others.

“Bye!” Kiyi stuck out her little hand and waved to the others. They all waved and smiled back at her.

Ursa hugged Zuko one last time, kissing his cheeks and squeezing him tightly. “Please tell me if anything happens,” she whispered. “Anything at all.”

He nodded. “I will.”

She kissed him again. “I love you so much, my love.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Ursa smiled and broke the hug. With that, she, Noren, and Kiyi began heading out of the palace yard and towards the city.

Katara came up behind Zuko and placed a hand on the center of his back. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” he said. “I’m going to miss them, but I’ll live.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He nodded. “Okay, good,” Katara said. “But you know you can talk to us about anything.”

“I will,” he answered.

“You should pinky promise us too, Your Honor,” Toph joked.

“Stop calling me that!”

* * *

“Are you sure you have enough clothes? It’s a long trip.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. And besides, I have more at home.”

“A bunch of parkas maybe, but what about when you’re traveling over the Southern Air Temple? It’s not that cold over there. A little windy, maybe, but overall…”

“I’m going to be fine,” Katara said with a small giggle. She leaned over on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Zuko’s cheek. “Stop worrying about me, baby. I’m going to be okay.”

“I’m just paranoid,” he admitted. He sat down on Katara’s bed next to her piles of folded clothes and her trunk. “You’ve been here for over half a year now. You haven’t had to travel too far in a while. I guess I’m just antsy.”

“I know you are, but it’s going to be okay,” she said. “I promise.” She looked over at him and gave him a small smile before packing a stack of dresses into her blue, seal-lined trunk.

Zuko laid back, pressing himself to her mattress. It was a little softer than his, but he didn’t seem to mind it too much. “I’m not going to be able to see you for a whole year…”

Katara knitted her eyebrows and looked over at him. There were several emotions disguised behind his honey-colored eyes. She dropped the wrappings back on her bed and laid down next to him. She kicked away the trunk to give her more room.

“I know. I feel the same way,” she said. She twisted her body to the side to spoon Zuko. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of his neck. “But I’m going to write to you all the time, and it’ll be like I’m still with you.”

Zuko snorted. “No, it won’t.”

“Okay, maybe not,” she laughed, “but just imagine.”

She crossed one of her legs over his, and he scooted backward slightly, wiggling his butt into her. She smiled and kissed his shoulder.

“When you get back, we’re not leaving my bed,” Zuko said. “We’re just going to cuddle all the time.”

“I’m okay with that.” Katara put her hand on top of his and laced her fingers within his. She kissed the shell of his ear and smiled at the little noise that escaped his throat. “You’re so cute.”

“Agni, I love you,” he whispered.

She kissed him again. “I love you too.”

“As much as I don’t want to move, you probably need to finish packing.”

“It can wait until later.”

“You’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“I can pack tomorrow morning then.”

“No, you can’t. You’re stuck here with me.” Zuko wiggled his hips closer into her. “I’m not letting you get out of our last cuddling session.”

“Okay, fine.” She sat up, leaned over, and kissed his scarred cheekbone. “I’ll finish now.”

“I’m not leaving,” Zuko said. Even as Katara scooted off the bed, he didn’t move.

She dragged the trunk off the bed and threw in the last few articles of clothing. She tucked her whalebone comb between a stack of undergarments and the side of the trunk. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zuko still curled up on her bed. His raven hair was fanned out against her pillow, his cheek squished into his arm. She couldn’t resist the urge to walk back over to him and kiss the tip of his nose.

“Tui and La, I love you.” She kissed his forehead, his exposed cheek, his temple. As she littered his face in kisses, he smiled and pulled her into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and soaked in his warmth.

The year would be so hard without him by her side. She just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a little long, but hopefully, it's not too bad. I realized that if I didn't do something about my lack of preparation for the next few chapters, I would get super bad writer's block. So I went through and made an outline for the next several chapters, and I'm more excited to write them now! Hopefully, updates will be back to one or two days instead of three or four. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for the kudos and comments on the story so far! They really motivate me! :)


	36. Missing Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko spends the day with Toph and Aang after Katara, Sokka, and Suki leave the Fire Nation.

_Zuko,_

_I know it’s only been two weeks since I’ve seen you last, but honestly, it feels much longer. I don’t know how I’m going to make a year._

_The trip down was tiring, but that’s to be expected. Riding on Appa is way more fun than a boat. The views are much better, and so is the company. Sokka and Suki spent the entire time together, making out in closets and doing La knows what. I don’t get seasick, but I still wanted to throw up. They’re so loud._

_We stopped by Kyoshi Island to drop Suki off. We stayed one night before heading home, and Sokka’s been a mess ever since. He does nothing but mope around now that she’s gone. I don’t blame him at all though. I’m sure I’ll be the same way._

_Seeing Dad and Gran Gran was amazing! It’s been so long, and I missed them so much! We spent the first night with the whole village. We had a feast under the stars, and even though it was cold, it was welcomed. We ate stewed sea prunes, seaweed fritters, crab cakes, kale cookies…I wish you were there to try it all. It reminds me of the time that Aang tried sea prunes for the first time. He didn’t like it, but maybe you will. You should think about adding Water Tribe cuisine to the palace. You don’t know what you’re missing out on._

_After dinner, we all told stories to each other. Sokka and I talked about our time in the palace, and Dad told us how the tribe has been in the several months that we’ve been gone. You also came up in the conversation when Imona offhandedly mentioned that she heard the news about our courtship. It started this huge conversation. The women of our tribe wanted to know all about our relationship, and the men looked like they wanted to hear anything but. I think it’s because we’re basically one giant family. I’ve known everyone since I was born, and they changed my diapers. It makes sense that they want to know about my personal relationships. I think they just want to know I’m safe._

_Kirima said that she wanted to meet you. They want proof that you’re treating me right, and my words aren’t enough to persuade them. I’m going to bring you down here one day. I’d love for you to see my home._

_Since the first night back, things haven’t been very interesting. We’ve fallen into routine. I’m stuck cooking, cleaning, sewing—everything I was sick of doing when I first left to travel the world with Aang and Sokka. It’s so strange. I help stop a century-old war from going on. I’m a master waterbender. I’m more of a warrior than half the men in the tribe. And they still won’t let me fight. Although the Southern Water Tribe is better than our sister tribe up north, it’s still hard._

_On the bright side, my healing skills have been useful several times so far. I forgot how clumsy Taqtu was and how reckless Nanouk was. Plus, Nuvua’s a few months pregnant, so I know I’ll be helping with her recovery when she gives birth. At least, I can still be helpful around the village. I would grow so antsy if I couldn’t do anything but cook and clean during my stay._

_As Ambassador, I’ve also had to sit in on several of the elder meetings. They’re just as boring as your council meetings in the Fire Nation, but at least ours have kale cookies. You should include food in yours. They make it better._

_How have Aang and Toph been treating you since we’ve left? Hopefully, they aren’t driving you up the wall too much. But even if they are, I should thank them for it. You need to relax more._

_I love you so much, and I’m already counting down the days until I get to see you again._

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

Zuko read over the letter for the sixth time since receiving it. Katara’s handwriting was perfect, each line curving smoothly. It was much different from his own, which was thin, tall, and neat. He couldn’t help but run his fingertips over the characters, against the dried ink.

Sitting at his desk, he grabbed the ink quill to begin his letter back to her. He’d never been good with words, but for her, he would try.

_Katara-_

_I’m glad you made it home safely. I don’t envy you in the slightest though when it comes to Sokka and Suki. I don’t think they realize we can hear them. Even now that they’re gone, Toph still complains about losing sleep._

_Sokka just needs to give it time. Hopefully, it’ll get easier for him. I try to keep myself busy, so maybe that’ll work for him too?_

_Say hi to your family for me. Hopefully, they and the rest of your tribe don’t hate me for dating you. I feel like I would take one step off the boat, and they’d immediately launch me into the freezing water._

_Is it possible for you to push against the misogyny? Now that you’re an Ambassador, I like to think you have a little more freedom to do more than sew. You fought for your right to fight in the North, so maybe the South will let you fight and hunt with the warriors too. I’m grateful you have your healing to help you though. Partially because I know you’d go crazy without it, and partially because I’m selfish. Granted, I’d be dead without your skills, so I don’t know how selfish it really is._

A loud knock scared him out of his thoughts, and he almost dropped the ink-covered quill on the page.

“Open up, Pretty Boy!”

“The door’s open!” Zuko called. He heard the knob turn and turned around to see Toph push the door open. She wasted no time throwing herself onto his bed and propping her head up on his pillow.

“Wow, even when you’re not in your office, you’re still working,” she said. “You’re so boring.”

“I’m not working. I’m writing a letter.”

“Ooh, to who? Katara and Sokka?” Toph asked.

“Yeah, they made it back home safely.”

“That’s good. I’m sure Sweetness was probably pissed the whole time. I sure would be if I had to spend a week sailing on a tight boat with Snoozles and his Fangirl swapping spit the entire trip.”

Zuko snorted and couldn’t resist the grin that pulled at his lips. “That’s actually the first thing she mentioned in her letter.”

“Can’t even say I’m surprised.” Toph blew her bangs out of her face. “At least with the waves, the boat was already rocking, so she can fool herself into thinking that's the cause.”

“Stop, you’re too young to even make those jokes,” Zuko laughed.

“Oh, please. I’m sure I know more than you do,” Toph said. “Those earthbending tournaments were something else.”

“I don’t even want to know what kind of information you picked up there,” he said.

She grinned. “Make sure to tell them I said hi in your letter, will ya?”

He nodded. “I will.”

“And I’m sure Aang would like the same thing.”

“Where is he, by the way?”

“Feeding Appa. He said he’s coming here whenever he’s done.” Toph slid her legs off the bed and pressed her feet into the floor. She stood still, trying to sense his movements through her earthbending. “I think he’s almost done actually.”

“Did you come here because you were bored?” Zuko asked.

“Wow, blunt much? And yeah, kinda. Your servants are fun to mess with, but even that’s getting boring. Aang and I wanted to see if you wanted to have a fun day out before he leaves for Omashu in two weeks.”

“After I finish my letter,” he said. “And I won’t ever be able to if you keep talking to me!”

Toph launched a pillow at Zuko’s head, but he ducked just in time. It hit the wall behind him, but the missed shot didn’t stop Toph from cracking up laughing.

“Didn’t work out the way you thought, huh?” he said. He grabbed the pillow off the floor and threw it back at her. With no earthbending to detect it, it hit her straight in the face.

“Hey, you’re the one that nothing works right for, not me!” She tossed the pillow back on the bed and grinned. “We should call you ‘Backfire Lord Zuko’ instead.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? Did you like ‘Your Honor’ better?”

Zuko groaned and turned back around in his chair. Toph just laughed.

“You’re so grumpy,” she said. She walked over to his desk and leaned over his shoulder to tug on a strand of his hair, just like he would do to her. “Katara’s not going to freeze to death before you send that letter out. You have time, you know.”

“I just want to write it now. You know, before I get pulled away by council members, Fire Sages, or _you_.”

“Hey, you have more fun with me than those clowns.” She shrugged. “Besides, Aang is coming for you too.”

“Just give me a second to finish my letter. I promise I’ll hurry.”

“Do you pinky promise?” Toph asked, dragging out the syllables. Zuko shoved her.

“Those are reserved for Kiyi.”

“Hey, I’m basically your little sister too!”

“Oh, I know. But you’re not as cute as she is.”

Toph punched his bicep, and Zuko chuckled. “Oh, ha ha. Just hurry up with your sappy love poem, will ya? I’ll tell Aang not to bother you, and we’ll meet you in the courtyard.”

“Okay, I can do that.” Zuko picked his quill back up and dipped it back into the ink.

“Don’t forget to write what I told you to!”

“I won’t forget. Look, I’m doing it right now.”

“I think you forgot a key fact,” Toph said. “I can’t read.”

“She’s blind, Your Honor.”

Zuko whipped his head around to see Aang peeking through the door.

“Get out of my room!” Aang and Toph laughed wildly as they ran out.

* * *

“Okay, so I’m thinking we can ride the giant armadillo-snakes in Xo Ling, especially since we’re already going to be in the Earth Kingdom.” Aang smiled, gripping Appa’s reins tightly as Toph and Zuko climbed on. Momo flew up to the saddle, perching on the side. “Then, maybe we can visit the mountains in the northwest for lunch, and—”

“Where are we going to find lunch in the mountains?” Toph interrupted. “Because I don’t know about you, but I’m not eating spiders, and neither is Princey over here.” She pointed to Zuko with her thumb, angling it over her shoulder.

Zuko shrugged. “Spider legs are a delicacy in some areas of the Earth Kingdom.” Toph gagged.

“Well, I’m sure we can find a small village!” Aang chirped. “And even if not, we can just have an early dinner. Now, as I was saying—”

Toph groaned and fell backward. She plopped her head into Zuko’s lap. “I miss Sokka,” she said. “No offense, Aang, but it’s a good thing you weren’t the plan guy.”

“What do you want to do?” he asked, looking back over his shoulder at his two friends in the saddle. “We can go to the Kolau Mountains instead and go to Omashu for lunch if you’d rather do that.”

“I say we go to the Qinjing Forest instead!” Toph sat up. “We can tell spooky stories and visit the abandoned bridge!”

Zuko looked up at the sky—blue as the ocean with white, fluffy clouds. “I don’t think this is good ‘spooky’ weather. Fluffy clouds aren’t frightening.”

“But what if they do this?” Aang bent the air and water in the sky to turn one of the clouds into the shape of a skull. Zuko raised his eyebrow, and Aang sighed. “Okay, fine. You’re right.”

“I promise, it’ll be really great, you guys!” Toph said. “When I was younger, one of the servants would tell me stories from the area all the time, since he used to live in the next city over.”

“I think it’s worth a shot!” Aang said. “Appa, yip yip!”

The sky bison groaned and flew up into the air. As they rose higher and higher, the sky became even prettier up close. The blue reminded Zuko of Katara’s eyes.

_Agni, I miss her._

“So what kind of stories did he tell you?” Aang asked.

“Typically, he would tell me them at night so that I didn’t misbehave or wander off. But there was this one story about a little girl who died on the bridge. I’ll tell you when we get there.”

Aang groaned and tilted his neck back. “You can’t tell us now?”

“Gotta be patient, Twinkle Toes.”

* * *

“Is this it?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see from up here!”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Aang lowered the reins and allowed Appa to land. Toph slid off the side of the bison and landed on her feet.

“Yeah, this is it!” She pointed out into the distance, straight into the forest. “I see the bridge right over there!” She grabbed Aang’s hand and tugged him off into the trees. Zuko walked behind them, with Momo and Appa trailing behind the group.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the bridge. However, as soon as they reached it, they stopped in their tracks.

It was a covered bridge, wooden and rotting with age. The planks at the bottom were full of gaps, and one wrong step looked deadly. Underneath the bridge, there was a twenty-to-thirty-foot drop, and a river rushed underneath it.

“Wow, you’re right, Toph,” Aang marveled. “This really is spooky!”

“Let’s sit inside, and I’ll tell you the story,” she said. She led the boys inside the bridge, and although she didn’t seem too scared, Aang walked much slower. “What’s the issue?” she asked, turning to face him.

“It just…doesn’t look that stable,” he said.

“Watch your step,” she said. “But it’ll be fine. You won’t die.”

“What if I fall?” Aang asked. He looked down through the cracks between the wooden planks. He could see the rushing water underneath them.

“If you can take down the world’s most powerful bender during Sozin’s Comet but you can’t walk across a bridge, we’ve got more than one issue.”

The three of them walked to the center of the bridge, and they sat down directly in the middle. It was dark, and although Zuko wanted to make a fire in his palm, he didn’t trust himself to not accidentally burn down the bridge.

“Okay, tell us the story!” Aang said. His gray eyes were wide with excitement and curiosity.

“Alright, alright. Settle down.” Toph grinned. There was a malicious look in her unseeing eyes. “So this is a true story, or so I’ve heard. But one day, about a hundred years ago, there was a little girl named Meihui. She was traveling to Ba Sing Se with her parents to visit her grandparents. She was sitting on the back of her family’s wagon, bouncing in her seat.”

Momo chirped and landed in Aang’s lap. He petted the winged lemur, but his eyes never left Toph’s.

“Her parents told her to stop, but she was bored, so she kept bouncing. Well, just as they rode underneath the bridge, she bounced in her seat again. But this time, the wheel of their wagon hit a loose plank, and she flew up even higher. One of her braids got caught on the rafters, and she was yanked straight out of her seat. Meihui screamed for her parents to help her, but her hair was caught in the bridge. It broke her neck.”

Toph pointed up to the roof of the covered bridge, directly at the rafter above them. “She died right here.”

Zuko lit a small fire in his palm and raised his arm to brighten the bridge. They shivered at the thought.

“Meihui haunted this bridge for years,” she continued. “Women would say they could feel someone tugging on their hair as they rode through, but they never saw anyone there. At night, people could hear screaming. It wasn’t until another girl died—hung from the rafters by her hair—that the townspeople decided to build a new bridge.”

Toph stood up. “Wasn’t that a fun story? Wanna tell another?”

“Uh, no, I think I’m good,” Aang said, holding to Momo tightly. Toph punched him in the arm suddenly, and Momo shrieked, flying out of Aang’s grasp. “Ow!”

“Don’t be such a fraidy mink-cat,” she said. She turned to look at Zuko. “What about you, Sparky? You got any spooky stories to share?”

“I have one, but I don’t know how scary you’ll think it is,” he said.

“Lay it on us!” Toph exclaimed.

“Okay, but I’m not a great storyteller, so bear with me.” Zuko looked up at the roof of the covered bridge before looking back at the other two. “My mom would tell me a story when I was young about this bridge in the Fire Nation. It…um, it wasn’t like…super well-used, but it wasn’t abandoned either.”

“Wow, you really aren’t a good storyteller,” Toph laughed.

“Hey, I warned you beforehand,” Zuko said. “Anyway, there was this one girl who was kidnapped, and no one could find her. It was months before anyone had any sort of lead, and it wasn’t until her family was riding through the bridge that they found her. There was a really bad storm, and they were grateful for the momentary shelter. But when the wind picked up and the roof shook, the girl’s body fell from the gap between the roof and one of the rafters. Her corpse landed directly on her mother’s lap.”

“You guys, I don’t want to hear about this,” Aang said, covering his ears. “I thought your spooky stories would be about missing children or men with a rake instead of a hand or something like that.”

“The girl in my story was missing,” Zuko said. “At least, for a little while.”

“Did they ever find out who put her there?” Toph asked.

Zuko shook his head. “No one knows. There weren’t any burns on her body either—just bruises. They were around her wrists and throat like she was choked to death. They think the killer is still out there.”

“Alright, Twinkle Toes, it’s your turn,” Toph said. “Give us a spooky story!”

“It’s not going to be like yours,” he said. “Your stories were…morbid.”

“They’re spooky,” Zuko said.

“That’s not the same thing!”

“Okay, fine, enlighten us, wise one,” Toph said.

“Alright, let me tell you a _real_ spooky story!”

* * *

That night, Zuko found himself in his bedroom with the curtains pulled back. The moon was full tonight, and he couldn’t help but stare at it in wonder. He wondered if Katara was staring at the same moon too, right at that very moment.

Turning away from the window, he took a seat on his bed and pulled the crown out of his hair. He placed the pronged headpiece on his nightstand and rubbed the tension from his scalp.

He’d already finished his letter to Katara, and it was already on its way to the Southern Water Tribe. However, despite it not arriving to her yet, he was already antsy for her response.

As he laid down, he turned his head back to the window to watch the moon once more. His bed felt so empty without Katara next to him. At least the moon made him feel like she was with him in spirit, if not in the flesh.

He missed her so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to experiment with a letter format in one of the chapters, and now, I finally had the chance. I hope you don't mind the change in style too much. You may see a letter here or there, but I'm not going to make them the rest of the story.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm super excited about the next few chapters (now that I have an actual plan for them), and I can't wait to share them with you all! :)


	37. Parallels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang spends some time in their respective homes, all while trying to cope with their new routines.

“It’s so weird now that everyone’s gone,” Zuko said. “Not like… _gone_ gone. I know they’ll be back and all, but it’s still weird. And not everyone. I mean Toph’s still here, and so is Uncle, but…you know.”

Kuei nodded. “Aang left too?”

“Yeah, he left two days ago. He went to Omashu to help Bumi repair the city,” Zuko answered. “I don’t know how long he’ll be there though.”

“Well, they’re two powerful earthbenders, so I don’t think it should take them too long,” Kuei said with a small smile. “I’m surprised Toph didn’t go with them too. With her help, the city would be completely rebuilt in only a couple of hours, I’m sure.”

“She refuses to leave the palace,” Zuko said. “I think she just doesn’t want to leave me alone, even though I know she’d never admit it.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Honestly, super grateful.” Zuko recrossed his fingers, flipping his right thumb over his left one. “It’s nice to have someone here.”

“Are you nervous now that everyone's gone again?” Kuei asked. He pushed up his glasses a little higher on his nose.

“A little bit?” Zuko said. “Like…I’m not super scared or anything, but there’s still lingering anxiety.”

“I understand that,” Kuei said. “Just make sure to tell me or the others if it gets worse. You’re still keeping in contact with everyone who left, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve been writing letters.”

“Okay, good,” he said, nodding to himself. “For me, writing always helped me feel better. If it’s the same way for you, then you’d be hitting two birds with one stone.” He reached over to pet Bosco’s head. The bear groaned quietly and tilted his head to the side.

“I always had to do enough writing throughout the day with Fire Lord duties that I never even wanted to try,” Zuko said. “Maybe writing to them about it gives me a chance to at least try it.”

“That’s all I can ask for,” Kuei said. “And if it doesn’t help, then that’s fine. But at least you’ll be telling your friends the truth.”

Zuko nodded, but he didn’t say anything.

Last time he was alone with just Toph, it was several months ago. He was in a much better place than he was before, but he was still a little nervous. He didn’t want to backtrack on all the progress he made, and without his friends by his side, he knew it would be harder to maintain that support. He knew he had Toph, but he also knew that she was chaotic and insensitive half the time, and the other half, she just didn’t listen. He loved her to death, but she wasn’t as comforting as Katara.

He just hoped he could be okay.

* * *

Katara ignored the wince as she stuck her hands in the bucket of cold water. She wished Zuko were here—both to keep her company and to warm up the water—but she didn’t have time to dwell on it. The laundry needed to get done, and it wasn’t like Sokka or Hakoda would do it.

As grateful as she was to be back home, it wasn’t at all what she expected. She didn’t want to cook and clean all day. She didn’t want to sew Sokka’s parka up or skin the animals that her dad brought home from his hunting trips. She wanted to do so much more.

Even as Ambassador, there was only so many meetings to attend. They were only once every week or two—nowhere at all what it used to be like in the Fire Nation. She used to have two or three a day. What changed?

She dunked the tunic under the cold water and scrubbed at it with the bar of soap—soap that she had to make herself using animal fat. She didn’t mind domestic chores, but she wished she could do so more. 

Zuko would let her.

Katara squeezed her eyes shut. She missed him so much. She missed his warm hugs, and the way he would smile at her when they passed in the hallways on the way to his next meeting, and the late-night conversations under the moon, and the sensitive side he only showed her, and his arms around her when they cuddled, and the way she would watch him feed the turtleducks after a long day of meetings and paperwork.

She knew that he would never let her sit back and do chores all day. He never treated her like she was less than him—whether due to her socioeconomic class, gender, or anything. They were equals. She missed that feeling, and she knew she’d never get it here, no matter how much she tried.

“Katara, is everything okay?” Kanna asked. “You seem distracted.”

She looked over at her grandmother, who was sitting in the corner on a pile of pelts. The old woman was sewing up the sleeve of one of Sokka’s tunics from where he’d ripped it during his sparring practice. Katara wanted to grimace. Even he got sparring sessions.

“I’m just upset,” she admitted.

“About what?” Kanna asked. She put her steel needles down (a gift from the Fire Nation that Katara had brought back with her) and looked up at her granddaughter. “You can talk to me.”

“Just…everything, I guess.” Katara bent the water out of the freshly-cleaned tunic in her hands and folded it up. She placed it to the side before grabbing a parka and dipping it into the bucket. “I just wish I had more responsibility here than just chores,” she admitted. “I wish people here took me seriously. I mean, I’m a master waterbender, and the only water I can control is laundry water.” She bent the water upward to prove her point before dropping it back in the bucket. It splashed slightly, but she didn’t care.

“On top of that, I really miss everyone,” Katara continued. She let the parka fall to the bottom of the bucket. “Especially Zuko.”

Kanna knitted her eyebrows and leaned forward to touch Katara’s shoulder gently. “I know how you must feel to lose your responsibilities,” she said. “But you are helping the tribe immensely with little, domestic acts. And if not the tribe, then at least the family.” She brought her hand up to touch Katara’s braid. “And nothing’s stopping you from doing both,” Kanna said. “You can help out at tribe by being more than just an Ambassador who sits in on meetings and documenting the needs of our people.”

“Like what?” Katara asked.

Kanna smiled. “Well, it comes to my attention that you may not be the only waterbender here anymore.”

Katara raised an eyebrow. “I know that. Pakku’s been here for months.”

Kanna laughed, deep and jovial. “No, Snowflake, I meant that little Nauja has started showing signs that she too may be a waterbender.” Katara’s eyes lit up immediately. “And who better to train her than you?”

“Gran Gran, are…are you serious?” Katara asked, her eyes bright as the polar lights. “Is she…will I…”

“If the rumors are true,” Kanna said with a smile. The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth looked deeper than usual, but there was a sense of pride in her eyes.

Katara grinned, but after a few seconds, it fell. Her eyes focused back on the bucket of water in front of her.

“I still really miss everyone though,” she admitted. “Training Nauja will be a good distraction, but I still have to wait an entire year to see Zuko.” She looked back up at Kanna. “I never realized how hard it would be to fall asleep when the bed is finally empty for the first time in months.” She smiled to herself. “At least I share a room with others though. He’s probably having it much harder than me.”

“If your love is as strong and as important to you as you say it is, then I know you will find a way,” Kanna said.

Katara smiled. “Thanks, Gran Gran.”

“Of course, Snowflake. Now, come on,” she said. “If we leave Sokka’s shirts any longer, they’ll stink up the tent!”

* * *

Zuko broke apart a piece of the ash banana bread from breakfast and tossed it into the pond. The turtleducks immediately swam towards him, gobbling up the leftover food. He smiled as he watched them.

“I don’t know why you like watching them so much,” Toph said. “You’re just feeding them.”

Zuko shrugged. “It’s relaxing,” he answered. He broke off another piece for them. “And they’re cute.”

One of the turtleducks swam to the edge of the pond and stepped onto the grass. It quacked happily as Zuko lifted it up onto his lap, petting its little head.

“Well, it sounds cute, but I don’t know what they look like,” Toph said, “so I couldn’t tell you.”

“Do you want to hold one?”

“No, not really.”

“Why? Afraid it’ll bite you?”

“No,” Toph snorted. “I just don’t know where it’s been.”

“Just in the pond. Come on, it won’t hurt you.” Zuko gently picked up the turtleduck in his lap and placed it in Toph’s hands.

“But what if I hurt it?” Toph whispered. Her voice was quiet, lacking the confidence it usually held.

“You won’t hurt it,” he said. “Just be careful. Watch.” He brought the turtleduck to her lap and let the animal waddle on her legs. He guided her hand to pet its head, gently brushing her fingertips over it. The turtleduck leaned into her touch.

“He’s really soft,” Toph said. Even when Zuko pulled his hand away, she kept touching the little animal.

“Do you want some bread?” he asked. “For the ducks, not for you. I mean, I guess you could eat it if you really wanted to, but it’s been in my pocket all morning.”

She snorted. “You’ve been friends with us for like two years, and you’re still ridiculously awkward.” She stuck her hand out. “And yeah, I want some bread.”

He gave her a chunk, and she ripped off a piece for the turtleduck. He watched as she held out a small piece and the little animal took it out of her hand.

“You guys are probably so spoiled,” Toph said, moving her hand back to pet its textured shell. “What are you going to do when your daddy eventually goes away to see Katara?”

Zuko choked on his spit as he whipped his head over to the girl next to him.

“What?” She smirked. “Don’t like being called ‘Daddy?’ Are you not kinky enough for that?”

“I didn’t birth a bunch of turtleducks,” he said, ignoring the snide comment.

“So? You’re basically their father. They follow you around the pond.” She grinned. “I think you’d know better than anyone else here that being responsible for their existence and actually parenting are two different things.”

“I don’t parent them either.”

“You’re missing the point.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for it,” Toph said. She punched his arm. “Spirits, you’d think you’d grow out of apologizing for everything now.”

“I’m—”

“Don’t say it again,” she laughed. “I know you will.”

Zuko nodded and turned back to the pond. Several baby turtleducks waddled over to them, following their mother. As one of the babies fell over, Zuko lifted it back up.

“You miss her, don’t you?” Toph said.

“Yeah,” he said. He lifted his knees up and rested his elbows on them. “I do.”

“Me too.” She rested her head on Zuko’s shoulder. He tried to relax his muscles for her. “Even when she’s being all naggy, at least I know she cares.”

“That’s her way of showing she loves you,” he said.

“I know. She’s always trying to take care of everyone. It’s good that she has you. She needs someone to finally take care of her, for a change.”

Zuko smiled to himself as he looked off into the pond. The water in front of him reminded him of Katara.

“I miss the others a lot too,” he said. “They always did really brighten up this place.”

“Yeah, Sokka’s jokes are the only reason I don’t go insane here. I love you, but I can only look at a bunch of tapestries of gross, old men for so long.”

Zuko chuckled. “Yeah, I feel the same way, kiddo.”

“You plan on burning them?”

“No. Why, do you think I should?”

“I think you’re the Fire Lord,” Toph said. “The least you could do is take them off the walls.”

“I might wait a little longer,” he said. “There are a bunch of people who still support my father and the old ways. If word got out that I’m removing them from the palace, they’ll freak.”

“Whatever,” she said. She blew her bangs out of her face and readjusted her head on Zuko’s shoulder. “Have you thought about what I said?” she asked.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah. I have.”

“What’s the verdict?”

“I…I guess I’m willing to listen.”

Toph smiled. “I’m glad you’re finally coming to your senses.”

“I just don’t want to reopen any wounds,” he said. “If I wait too long, then that’s what will happen when I finally confront him.”

“You can talk to the Earth King about it too,” she said. “See what he says.”

“I probably will. I take all of your stupid ideas with a grain of salt.”

“Stupid ideas?” Toph repeated. She grinned and flicked his thigh. “Oh, please. There’s nothing stupid about my plan.”

“Oh, yeah. Because storming into Ozai’s prison cell and wreaking havoc like the chaotic murder machine you are is a completely brilliant plan.”

“We just need to work out the kinks.” She shrugged. “You know I just want you to get help.” Her voice got smaller, softer. “And doing nothing…well, I know that’s not going to help you. I know you better than that.”

“I know. I’m just scared,” he admitted.

“He can’t do anything to you. Not anymore,” she said. “And even if he tries, that’s why you’ve got me. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Zuko rested his head on top of hers. “And I’m really, really grateful for it.”

Toph elbowed his ribcage.

“Okay, sap.”

Zuko smiled.

* * *

“Katara!”

“Katara!”

“KATAR—”

“Sokka, _what?!_ ” she snapped. She jerked her head over her shoulder, her braid flipping with the movement like a water whip.

“I need your opinion, he said. His head was halfway through the tent’s entryway. “It’s really important.”

“It better be. You made me mess up Dad’s pants!” She showed him the needlework. The last stitch was crooked, several centimeters away from the rest of the hem.

“It is! I promise! Do you think emerald or ivory looks nicer?”

Katara gave him a look. “Seriously?”

“What?”

“Don’t think I don’t know. This is about the new sword you’ve been trying to make!”

“What? Pffffhhh. Nooo,” he said.

“Oh, really?” she said. She arched one of her eyebrows up. “Then, why did I hear you talking to Bato about getting new weapons?”

“I mean, we could all use new weapons,” Sokka said with a shrug.

“The war’s over, remember?”

“Yeah, but we still need to hunt. What better way to do that than with a giant sword?”

Katara gave him a look. “Mmhmm. Cause that’s not overkill at all.”

“Hey, all I’m saying is that we could use something nice for ourselves nowadays. Now, you never answered. Emerald or ivory?”

“I don’t know. Emerald?”

“Okay, thank you!” He turned to dash out of the tent, but Katara grabbed his parka before he could leave.

“Wait, where are you even going to get emerald?”

“There’s a boat at the dock,” Sokka answered. “It’s from the Earth Kingdom. A lot of the men are already there trading.”

“Hold on! Wait for me!” Katara threw Hakoda’s pants down and began pulling on her parka and moccasins. _Sorry, Dad. They can wait._

“They’re not leaving immediately,” he said.

“Just in case. Come on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much fluffier, but I plan to make the next chapter a tad more plot-heavy.
> 
> Hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter! :) Thank you again for the kudos and the comments! They make my day!


	38. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko continue sending letters to each other about their lives.

_Katara-_

_How are things going in the Southern Water Tribe? Hopefully, Nauja is a better student than Aang was—he could be so unfocused and flighty (pun intended). As long as she doesn’t drown anyone or bury the village in snow, things shouldn’t be too bad though._

_Speaking of Aang, I just got a letter from him recently. He said that he spoke to Roku (still can’t believe Aang’s technically my great-grandfather. Maybe that’s why he still uses slang from before Azulon was born. I hope he knows “Flameo” and “Hotman” will never become popular again) and that he’s going to Eastern Air Temple to find Guru Pathik again. He said he wants to talk to him about trying to rebuild the Air Nomads. I don’t think he has a plan yet._

_Toph’s been clingier than usual. She’s been sitting in on more of my meetings, which is great because she can detect when people are lying. We have a system where she taps my leg under the table whenever someone is lying. No one has caught on yet, but it’s freaking out a lot of council members. She told me that one of these days, she wants to line up everyone in the palace, ask if they’re Ozai supporters, and use her skills to see if they’re lying or not. It’s not a bad idea._

_How has Sokka been? The last letter he sent me was a few weeks ago, and he practically only talked about Suki. Hopefully, he gets to see her soon. I’m sure he’s driving you up the wall._

_Kuei said that he needs to go back to Ba Sing Se soon, but he doesn’t want to leave me alone right now—not when everyone else is gone. I don’t know how to feel about it. I knew it was only a matter of time until he had to go back to take care of his kingdom; I mean, he can’t stay here forever. But it still hurts. He promised he was going to write to me all the time, but it isn’t the same. I feel like I’ve lost my friends, my girlfriend, and now, my makeshift therapist/advisor. If Uncle goes back to Ba Sing Se any time soon, I’m leaving with him. The Fire Sages can’t stop me._

_I was talking to Toph, and the more I thought about it, the more I’m ready to confront my father. I’m petrified, but I know it’ll be fine, especially with Toph there. I’m just worried that he’s going to break out and hurt me or something. I know it’s irrational, but I’m stressed. But I’ve weighed the pros and cons, and I know I really want to do this, despite my fear._

_I love you to death, and I think about you all the time. Everything here reminds me of you. Only nine more months until I can see you again._

_-Zuko_

* * *

_Zuko,_

_I’m proud of you for reaching that point with your father! I like to think by coming to that conclusion, you’ve at least talked to other people about this (I love Toph, but she can be irrational when she’s upset). I told Sokka too, and we’re both proud. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly when you confront him, and I know it will. Even if I’m not by your side when you see him again, just know I’m still with you. We’re sending all our love from the Southern Water Tribe._

_Nauja is an amazing pupil. She’s a great listener, and she always perseveres. She kinda reminds me of you, in that sense. I’m so happy to be finally doing something other than domestic responsibilities. If I don’t go into healing full-time once our village grows again, I think would like to be a teacher._

_Things are going really well with my role as Ambassador too. Thanks to your help, we’ve finally brought formal education to the South. It’s been helping the kids focus more, and it’s about time we learned about the other nations. I swear, I felt like when I first traveled the world, I felt so naïve. It’s like I knew nothing about the others or their cultures. Hopefully, schooling will fix that aspect of the other kids._

_I’m glad Aang is reaching out to the Guru. He wrote to me about a month ago saying that he was thinking about going to him. I guess Roku finally helped push him in the right direction. I’m curious how he plans on getting the Air Nomad population back. I’d hate to think that the only option is to simply wait several generations._

_Part of me isn’t surprised that Toph’s at your hip. With everyone scattered across the four nations, I think she secretly likes having you with her. Hopefully, she’ll loosen you up a little. What is it that she always tells you? Loosen your hairpiece?_

_I’m so sorry about King Kuei. I’m glad he plans on staying with you until we come back. I know you need him now more than ever. And I trust that he’ll write to you, so I wouldn’t worry about that. Even when he’s gone, you’ll still have Uncle Iroh though—at least for a little while. Hopefully, that gives you a little bit of peace._

_Sokka’s been spending more time with Bato recently. Part of me is suspicious because I know he mentioned new weapons a while back. But I don’t think it takes this long to make new shields, swords, and boomerangs. You’d think that with the war over, there wouldn’t be much of a need for new weapons. I think he just likes feeling manly. After all, he’s no longer the only guy in the village anymore._

_I miss you so much, and I can’t wait until I see you again. No amount of seal skin parchment or words I pen can portray how much I love you. Only actions can do that._

_Eight and a half more months to go! I’m counting down the days!_

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

“Bend your wrists just a little more,” Katara said. “Like this.” She arched her wrists gently, and the water at the coast gravitated towards her like a magnet.

Nauja nodded and copied the movements. The water followed her hands, but it was shakier.

“You’re doing great!” Katara said. She smiled at the younger girl, and together, they moved the water back and forth through the air. It looked like a serpent as it traced through the sharp wind. Katara guided it towards Nauja, who pushed it back towards her teacher.

“Master Katara,” a voice called out from behind her. “We need to speak to you.”

Katara guided the water back into the ocean before looking at Nauja. “You did amazing today. We can continue this later, okay?”

“Yes, thank you, Sifu Katara,” Nauja said politely before running off to join her sister.

Katara turned to look at the older man behind her, and she bowed. “Elder Hanta. How may I help you?”

“The others want to talk to you in the communal tent,” he said. The wind whipped through the air, and the pale blue beads in his white hair clinked together. Katara shivered and drew her parka closer to her. “Come on,” he said. “It’s much warmer in there.”

She followed him through the village and into the communal tent. As she entered, she noticed several other elders circled around, sitting on furs and pelts.

“Good afternoon, Master Katara,” one of the women—Yuka—said with a smile. “We didn’t want to interrupt your lesson with your pupil, but we figured it would be better than for you to miss a meeting.”

“I didn’t realize we had one scheduled today,” Katara admitted.

“It came as a surprise to us too,” Hanta said. “We’d like to introduce you to Jianyu. He is an advisor for King Bumi.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” the man said. His green eyes stuck out against his olive skin. “I have heard a lot about your work—not just in your tribe, but throughout the nations.” He bowed to her. “It is an honor to finally be in your presence, Master Katara.”

She couldn’t help the blush that pulled at her cheeks in embarrassment. She still wasn’t quite used to the admiration that came from strangers.

“Advisor Jianyu heard about the addition of formal education to the Southern Water Tribe,” Ujurak said from beside Hanta. “He has a proposition for us.”

“Yes, thank you, sir,” Jianyu said. He bowed to the elder before looking at the others. “The Earth Kingdom has found that several positive effects have occurred as a result of your new school. We spoke to Chief Arnook of the Northern Water Tribe, and we believe that it would be beneficial to open yet another school for the sole purpose of teaching health and healing to the waterbenders.”

“We do not have enough waterbenders to open a school strictly for them,” Yuka said.

“Chief Arnook has already agreed to send more waterbenders down to the village. Not only will it help your population grow after the effects of the war, but having a school will be beneficial for both economic and human resource purposes.”

“Why not host the school in our sister tribe?” Ujurak asked. “It would reduce the need to send more waterbenders down.”

“They already have a school for learning how to heal,” Katara said. “Yugoda taught it to the girls while Master Pakku taught fighting and defense to the boys.”

“Exactly,” Jianyu said with a nod. “By bringing the knowledge to the South, we can rebuild your people and culture. The Earth Kingdom would provide the money and resources to host such a school for your people to study under.”

“What would the Earth Kingdom gain from this?” Hanta asked.

“We want to implement a new technology that can be carried over throughout the nations to help promote healing. We were hoping that some of our top engineers and medical professionals could watch your lessons. The North refuses to share their secrets, and only female waterbenders are allowed to sit in on the lesson.”

“That could be arranged,” Yuka said thoughtfully.

“We will talk amongst our community,” Ujurak said. “We will take a vote and decide the fate of a possible school. When does your ship depart, Advisor Jianyu?”

“In four days’ time.”

“That is enough time to decide.” Hanta nodded and turned to the other elders. “Thank you for your time.” They bowed to the man and began to exit the communal tent. As Katara turned to leave, Jianyu touched her shoulder.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, “for everything you’ve done in these past two or three years. You are a beacon of hope to the world.”

“Thank you, but that’s Aang’s job,” Katara said.

“No,” Jianyu said. “It is all of you. You have granted us hope that the world will one day harbor the peace between the nations that it once held.” He smiled. “And for that, we cannot thank you enough.”

He gave her one last smile before stepping out of the tent behind the other elders. Katara watched him leave. She couldn’t resist the spark of hope and pride that welled up inside of her chest.

* * *

_Dear Sweetness and Snoozles,_

_This is from Toph. I got a servant to write for me. Guess there are perks of living with the Fire Lord, huh?_

_I know Sparky well enough to know that he doesn’t want to worry anyone (especially you, Sweetness), so there’s a chance that he might not tell you what happened, but this is super important._

_There was another assassination attempt today. This time, they got him good._

_One of the servants was part of the New Ozai Society, and he attacked Zuko at night. I felt the vibrations and arrived just before anything too bad happened. I handcuffed the servant using the metal in the doorknob, and the guards took him away._

_Zuko’s in the medical ward right now. The doctors patched him up, and he’s got six stitches in his side._

_I feel like this is all my fault. When the guards were carrying the man away, he was yelling about how he overheard our plan to get back at Ozai. That’s why he stabbed Zuko. I’m the one who pushed him into trying to punish his father, and now, he’s the one paying the price. I feel horrible. This never should’ve happened, and it’s all my fault that it did._

_I just wanted to let you know. You deserve to know what happened._

_-Toph_

_P.S. Snoozles, try to keep Sweetness from swimming back to the Fire Nation. I know she’ll probably panic immediately after reading this, but everything’s under control._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to leave this at a cliffhanger, but I thought it would be the best result. I hope you don't mind too much!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and love you've shown me throughout the story! I really haven't expected this much of an outpour, and I'm so grateful! :)


	39. Assassination Attempts and Other Fun Activites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Zuko's latest assassination attempt, the Gaang tries to make sure he's doing alright.

“Aww, sweet pea, it’s going be okay.” Kirima rubbed Katara’s back as the younger girl sobbed. She pushed the loose strands of hair out of her face, which was sticky with tears.

“He could’ve died,” Katara cried. “He could’ve died, and I wasn’t there to heal him!”

“He’s in good hands, darling,” Imona said. “He has the best doctors in the nation at his disposal. He’s going to be okay.”

Katara pushed her face into the crook of Kirima’s neck. However, she just soothed the girl and kept rubbing her back.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” she sobbed. “Why did this have to happen to him?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Nuvua said. She reached out and stroked Katara’s hair gently. “But what I do know is that he’s going to be okay. Nobody sent for you, so that’s a good sign. They would’ve brought you to the Fire Nation otherwise.”

Katara sniffled and nodded in Kirima’s neck. The curtain of the tent pushed open, and Kanna stepped inside.

“How is she doing?” she asked, turning to Imona.

“She’s not taking it well,” she whispered. Kanna nodded and nudged Kirima aside. The woman backed up to allow her to sweep her granddaughter into her arms.

“Gran Gran…he…I don’t…”

“Shhh, it’s okay, Snowflake.” She kissed her hair. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“He was stabbed,” Katara sobbed. “One of his servants stabbed him in his own home.”

“I know…” She stroked her hair and let her cry into his shoulder.

“Does…does Sokka…”

“Hakoda’s with him now,” Kanna said. “Sokka was delivered the letter right after you read it.”

Katara nodded, but the flow of tears wouldn’t stop. She felt so sick, and she wanted nothing more than to rush back to the Fire Nation.

“I need…I need to see him.”

“I know, darling,” Nuvua said. She leaned forward, mindful of her large, pregnancy bump. Reaching forward to stroke Katara’s hair, she tucked a strand back into her braid.

“You need to trust that he’s going to be okay,” Imona said. Her deep voice, thick with age, was stern. “I know you want to see him, but your friend said everything is under control. Even if you don’t want to listen to us, at least listen to her.”

“Toph doesn’t listen half the time,” Katara cried. “Why should I?”

“Katara,” Kanna warned, still rubbing her granddaughter’s back, “you need to try to relax. Zuko is going to be okay. The doctors are taking care of him, and Toph said she got there before anything too bad happened.”

“He was _stabbed._ ”

“It’s not fatal,” Imona said.

“That’s not the point,” Katara said. She put her face in her hands. She could feel the tears leaking out of her eyes.

“I know, sweet pea,” Kirima said. “I know you need to see him. I think we’d all be in your shoes if the roles were reversed.” She loosened Katara’s braid and carded her fingers through the curls. “But we want you to calm down first. We can’t have you rushing off to the Fire Nation before you’ve had a chance to think. That’s only going to stress Zuko out more.”

Katara nodded and sniffled again. She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes, sweeping away some of the tears. They were immediately replaced.

“I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“Elder Yuka already sent out a letter to General Iroh,” Imona said. “It’s going to be okay.”

Katara leaned against her grandmother and tucked her face into her shoulder. She smelled like salt and warm furs—like home. She ignored the nausea in her throat that threatened to spill. She felt so helpless. She wanted to help, but she knew it was too late. Zuko was already sewn up and surely already on his road to recovery. By the time she made it to the Fire Nation, there wouldn’t be much for her to do. The tears welled up in her eyes before falling down again.

“I’m so sorry, Katara,” Kanna whispered into her hair.

However, her words just made her cry even harder.

* * *

When his eyes fluttered open, he immediately shut them. The room was so bright.

He tried to flip over onto his side, but he immediately grimaced at the pain in his side. He gritted his teeth and ignored the hiss in the back of his throat. He brought his hand over to his ribcage, but his fingers were met with a thick bandage.

“Zuko? Thank the spirits, how are you feeling?”

“Toph?” He turned his head to look at her, but his neck felt so weak. His head lolled to the side limply.

The girl at his bedside smiled. However, her eyes were sad, and she blinked away tears. “Nice to see you again, Sparky.”

Zuko tried to sit upright, but he winced. Toph grabbed his arm and helped to prop him up more comfortably on the bed. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Toph punched his bicep as tears slipped down her face. “Seriously? You almost died, and that’s the first thing you ask?”

“Toph, I—”

However, the earthbender simply slumped into the chair she was sitting on. She brought her arms up to the bed and pushed her face into them, hiding her tears from Zuko.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay, I promise,” he said. He leaned his arm to the side of his bed to touch her back. He could feel her shaking.

“Yeah, but if we’d been a second later, then you wouldn’t be!” Toph cried. She lifted her head up out of her arms to face him. “You can’t do that to us, Zuko!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, still rubbing her back.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” She pushed her face into the mattress again. “I’m the one who should be sorry. Not you.”

Zuko raised his eyebrow. “What for?”

“I’m the one who caused this.”

“You sent the assassin after me?”

“No, stupid, it’s because I pestered you into getting back at Ozai!” Toph cried. She wiped the tears at her face furiously. Seeing her like this made Zuko’s heart twist uncomfortably in his chest.

“What do you—”

“The servant who attacked you only went after you because he was an Ozai sympathizer,” she said. She wiped her eyes. “He stabbed you because we were going to go after him. And who told you to do that? Me.” She slumped back down, unable to face him. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no, don’t be like that,” Zuko said. He brought his hand away from her back to lift her chin up to face him. “It’s not your fault. If he was loyal to Ozai, this would’ve happened anyway. Don’t beat yourself up for it.”

Toph nodded, still wiping away her tears. Out of the blue, she snorted. “You know, Sparky, considering you’re the one in the hospital bed, I should be the one comforting you right now.”

“I think we could all use some comfort right about now,” he said with a smile. He reached over to tug on a strand of her bangs, just like he always did. She laughed and swatted his hand away. However, a knock on the door pulled them out of their conversation.

“Nephew, I see you’re finally awake,” Iroh said. He stepped into the hospital room before pushing the door closed. He had a teapot and several cups with him.

“Why am I not at all surprised you brought tea with you?” Zuko joked. “I could be on my deathbed, and you’ll still bring tea to my funeral.”

“There is no better time for tea than during a moment of great suffering,” Iroh said. He took a seat on another empty stool on the opposite side of Toph. “I see that if you’re already making jokes, you must feel a little better.”

“He’s awake, so that’s a start,” Toph said.

“How long was I out for?” Zuko asked.

“Only about a day,” Toph said. “The doctors couldn’t pump you with painkillers quickly enough, so you just slumped over and did it yourself. Endorphins are great, aren't they?” 

Iroh smiled and poured tea for the three of them before passing out the cups. He helped Zuko steady his hands to hold it without dropping it. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m sore, but I could be a lot worse considering.” Zuko raised the rim of the cup to his mouth to take a sip. It was harder than he’d anticipated, and he had to move slowly to avoid spilling hot tea all over himself.

“At least you’ll have something interesting to talk to King Kuei about,” Toph joked.

“He told me that he’ll be going back to Ba Sing Se a few weeks after the others return,” Iroh said. “Perhaps after this incident, you’ll need more time before he leaves.”

“That’s still eight months away,” Zuko said. “I should be okay.”

Iroh nodded. “Just let me know otherwise.”

“I will, Uncle,” Zuko said. He turned to Toph. “So the assassin...is he in prison?”

Toph nodded. “Yep. The guards dragged him there that night. They didn't even bother patching him up first.”

“Patching him up?”

“You do know you burned him, right?”

“Oh…I wasn’t really aware.”

“Well, you did.” She snorted. “No one can sneak up on you at night, can they?” she joked. “First, my feet. Then, his arm. Seriously, Sparky, you’re dangerous when asleep.”

Suddenly, he tilted his body forward and looked behind Toph to the small side table behind her.

“What are you looking for?” Iroh asked.

“I’m trying to see if they have paper nearby,” he answered. “I need to write to Katara.”

“Of course, you do,” Toph said. She reached behind her and ripped off a sheet of paper from a nearby notepad. She handed Zuko the paper and a wet quill. “Because you’re a lovesick puppy.”

“She would be pissed if I didn’t tell her what happened,” Zuko said.

Iroh smiled. “Then, we will leave you alone. Come, Toph.”

Toph flicked Zuko’s arm as she stood up. “Don’t overexert yourself on us.”

“I’m just writing a letter,” he said. “Pretty hard to overexert myself.”

“Hey, someone’s got to nag you with Katara not here.” Toph grinned and followed Iroh out of the room before Zuko had a chance to retort the comment.

* * *

“Katara, you got a letter,” Hakoda said, sticking his head into the tent. He waved his arm, showing off the wrapped piece of parchment. “It’s from the Fire Nation.”

Immediately, Katara leaped out of her seat. As he offered her the scroll, she snatched it from his hands and broke the seal immediately.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said.

“Thank you!” she called. Hakoda nodded once in reply just before leaving the tent.

Katara looked back down to the scroll in her hands and unwrapped it. Almost immediately, she recognized the thin, tall handwriting.

_Katara-_

_I haven’t received your latest letter, but I know you sent one out, so I’m not worried. I just wanted to write to you before you hear from someone other than me._

_There was another assassination attempt, but before you worry, I promise I’m okay._

_It happened two nights ago (but I’m sending this via messenger hawk, so it’ll probably be four or five nights when you receive it), but I’ve been out since then. Toph and Iroh just left the room to let me write to you._

_I was asleep when it happened, so my memory was already kind of foggy. All I remember was hearing the door open and feeling a weight on the bed. Before I knew what happened, he stabbed me through the comforter (which was a pretty lousy decision on his part, but I’m not complaining). Toph said I burned his arm in self-defense. She came in, and so did a bunch of guards. They took him away, and that’s about where my memory ends._

_I’ve been in the medical ward since. Besides being tired and a little sore, I feel alright overall. I could be a lot worse. I think I can thank the blankets for that one._

_I promise that I’m okay, Kat. Please, please, don’t run yourself thin worrying about me. I’m okay, really._

_I love you so much. Hopefully, the next letter I send will be more lighthearted._

_-Zuko_

Katara took a deep breath before rereading the letter. She read it twice more before finally relaxing.

_He’s okay. He’s really okay._

She wanted to cry in relief, but she settled on a quick praise to the spirits.

She stood up off the furs she was sitting on and wiped her face. Her cheeks felt wet. She didn’t realize that she’d been crying.

Rolling the letter back up, she pushed the tent’s flaps open and stumbled out into the snow to look for Sokka.

She knew he’d want to read the letter too.

* * *

“Sokka!”

He turned his head around, and his eyes immediately grew wide. “Suki!”

As she ran towards him, he enveloped her in a tight hug. He kissed her face all over, despite Katara standing directly beside them.

“I thought you still had two more weeks,” Katara said. As Sokka let go of Suki, she leaned forward and hugged her friend.

“Sokka wrote to me after he found out what happened,” Suki explained. “I made plans to come down as soon as I read the letter.” She grabbed Katara’s hands and held them within her own. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he got hurt—and by one of his own servants, nonetheless!”

“I know,” Katara said. “I know there have been assassination attempts before, but I think this is the first time that they’ve actually hurt him.”

“Zuko just sent Katara a letter,” Sokka said to Suki. “I don’t think he realized that Toph sent one too.”

“Is he alright?” Suki asked.

“Here, you can read it,” Katara said. She handed Suki the letter, and the other girl accepted it immediately. They waited patiently as she read over the parchment and watched as she let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad he’s alright,” she said. “I sent up a few of my girls for extra surveillance. Hopefully, he won’t mind too much.”

“He’s not in much of a position to argue,” Sokka said.

“Still,” Suki said. “Toph wrote to me a few weeks back about how she wanted to use her earthbending and ask everyone if they were an Ozai supporter to see if they were lying. I told my girls to tell her to do it. We can’t let this happen again.”

“I agree.” As the wind began to pick up, Sokka wrapped his arm around Suki. “Come on. Let’s get you inside. It’s getting cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a few chapters back, I mentioned that I didn't want the story to get over fifty chapters. Now, I don't know anymore. I'm having too much fun, and I don't want to speed through everything else I have in mind for the sole purpose of making it under fifty chapters. I guess we'll see what happens.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has made it this far—the dedicated readers who leave comments on each chapter, the silent readers who enjoy it from afar, everyone who has left kudos and bookmarks...everyone. You guys are the best! You're the reason I've been able to stay motivated and knock out chapter after chapter. Thank you so, so much! :)


	40. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Zuko continues to heal, the Gaang sends letters back and forth.

For the first day or two, Zuko was incredibly restless. Never before had he had a chance to simply sit back all day and do nothing. There was always something to be done. When he was a child, he had to learn firebending forms and train endlessly. As a teenager, he had to hunt the Avatar, and eventually, train him. Nowadays, he had meetings to attend, documents to read, and treaties to sign. But this—staying in bed all day—was new.

Luckily, he’d managed to persuade the physicians and nurses to move him into his bedroom instead of the medical ward. On top of that, Toph and Iroh visited him constantly, and Kuei even came to his room as well. Despite everything, it could’ve been much worse.

As he sat in bed, propped up against his headboard, he flipped through several documents. Scrolls were scattered across his bed, all within reach. The Fire Sages told him to take it easy and not to worry about his typical Fire Lord responsibilities, so Zuko was using his rare burst of free time to read.

Truthfully, he’d always enjoyed reading. There was something about the stories of his culture—both the fairytales and myths he’d learned as a child and the nonfiction tales that made up his nation’s history—that appealed to him. He hadn’t had much time to read for pleasure anymore, not since his banishment at thirteen. But now, he was finally savoring the moment.

Well, he was.

He bit back an irritated groan as someone knocked on the door—too lightly to be Iroh or Toph.

“Come in,” he said, praying to any spirit listening that it wasn’t a council member or advisor.

However, his eyes widened considerably as Ursa entered his bedroom. She gave him a soft smile, one accompanied by sad eyes.

“Good morning, my love,” she whispered, shutting the door quietly behind her. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“I’ve been up for a few hours now,” Zuko said. He sat up a little straighter in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“Your uncle told me what happened.” She took a seat by his bedside and grabbed his hand. Her fingers were cold, and he heated up his hand slightly to warm her. “I came as soon as I received the letter.”

He nodded. “I hope he didn’t worry you too much.”

She smiled. “It’s hard not to be worried,” she said just before her smile fell. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” he admitted. “I’m okay though.”

“How bad is it?”

Zuko lifted his tunic up a few inches to reveal the stab wound. There were six stitches, all neatly sewn into a line across his side. They started just at his ribcage and trailed down to his hip. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” he said. “He stabbed me through the comforter. I guess it would’ve been too risky to pull it back first. It would’ve given me a chance to wake up, realize what was happening, and fight back.” He shrugged. However, his words didn’t placate Ursa at all.

“Oh, my sweet baby,” she whispered. She reached her hand forward to push back his hair and kiss his forehead. She hugged him tightly, and Zuko relaxed into her grip. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

“I’m okay,” he said into her shoulder. “I promise.” He felt Ursa move her hand to the back of his head, carding her fingers through his long hair. He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation. As a child, she used to play with his hair all the time. Although he’d never admit it, he missed it. It was one of the reasons why he liked when Katara did it so much. It was soothing.

“How are the others?” he asked.

“Noren’s worried for you,” Ursa answered, still stroking his hair. “He wanted to come back to check on you, but we didn’t want to overcrowd you. He’s concerned, but he knows to keep his distance. Kiyi, on the other hand, was extremely upset to know she couldn’t come.”

Zuko smiled. “She could’ve.”

“I didn’t know how hurt you were,” Ursa said. “And if it was really bad, Noren and I didn’t want her to see you like that.” She smiled. “But she’s very sad that her big brother isn’t feeling well and wanted me to give this to you.” She pulled away from her son to reach into her bag. Zuko missed her hug and the feeling of her hands in his hair, but he didn’t voice it.

Ursa giggled as she pulled something out of her bag and handed it to him. He couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his cheeks.

“She gave me Roo?” he laughed. Out of all the things he expected Ursa to give him (she was a skilled herbalist after all; he’d honestly expected medicine), a stuffed animal definitely wasn’t it.

“She said that he always helps her feel better when she feels sad,” Ursa said. She smiled and put her hand on Zuko’s back. “And she thought that maybe if you had it, you’d feel better too.”

Zuko looked down at the brown rabaroo in his hands. It made his heart well up with happiness seeing the little stuffed animal and knowing that Kiyi wanted him to keep it safe. It was the sweetest thing someone had done for him in a long time. He smiled at the thought.

“Plus, she saw that you didn’t have any stuffed animals in your bedroom,” Ursa laughed. “She thought you needed one.”

“Sounds like Kiyi,” he said. However, he couldn’t break the smile on his face.

* * *

_Zuko,_

_How are you feeling? I hope you’re healing well. I’m worried sick about you, which is making everyone in the tribe sick with worry too. Congratulations, your assassination attempt is responsible for an entire tribe’s distress._

_I’m really grateful you wrote to me, by the way. To tell you the truth, Toph sent us a letter as well. She thought your typical independent, “I don’t want to worry anyone” self might not send a letter, so she sent one herself just in case. I’m guessing she sent it out the night it happened, since we got it before yours came in._

_Sokka wrote to Suki immediately after he found out, and now, she’s staying with us. We’re all worried for you, and being together makes us feel a little better. Honestly, I can see the difference in Sokka already. He’s no longer moping around because he’s missing her, and he’s back to his typical, jokester self. You can tell he’s still stressed about you, but Suki’s presence has fixed what these past several weeks have done and brought him back to normal._

_I sent out a letter to Aang letting him know what happened. I don’t know if you or Toph told him or not, and I didn’t want him to feel out of the loop, just in case._

_Please tell me that you’re taking it easy. I like to think you’re not overworking yourself like you tend to do, especially not with an injury._

_Seriously. Take it easy. I made seaweed cookies for you to enjoy (and extra because I know Toph will steal some). Hopefully, they won’t all crumble on the way up to the Fire Nation._

_I love you so much. Please take care of yourself._

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

_Katara-_

_Thank you for the cookies! I think Toph’s been enjoying them because she definitely took most of them before I even had a chance to see them. She misses you a lot. She’s not the only one._

_I’ve been on bed rest for about a week. Today was my first day getting back to work, and even then, my advisors made sure not to schedule too many meetings for me. I’ve been spending a lot of time in the garden with the turtleducks recently._

_Also, Mom came back to see me. Iroh wrote to her about what happened, and she came immediately. She sits at the pond with me. (Toph wants me to add that apparently, turtleducks don’t like seaweed cookies, but that means more for her.) It’s really nice having her back, even though she wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten stabbed._

_I’m still a little sore and can’t ~~Uncle~~ (Ignore that—Toph is distracting me. I’m combining conversations.) Anyways, I’m a little sore and can’t move as quickly, which means firebending practice is out of the question, but I’m using the time to meditate now. It’s an okay trade-off, I guess._

_I’m glad Suki’s with you guys. By the way his letters sounded, I’d say Sokka needed it. Hopefully, they aren’t driving you insane though. Don’t you share a tent with everyone in your family? I seriously hope they wait until you, your dad, and your grandmother are out of the tent before messing around._

_I’m sending embroidery thread for you with this letter. When you get antsy, I know you mess with your hands a lot. Uncle said having something to do with your hands can be really helpful, and a few months back, you told me you liked embroidering different patterns and symbols on your clothes. Hopefully, you like the colors. I wasn’t sure which you’d like best. Also, Toph wanted me to send contraceptive tea for Sokka and Suki. I’m so sorry._

_I love you so much, and every day, I miss you more. Eight more months until I can see you again!_

_-Zuko_

* * *

_Dear Zuko,_

_Katara told me what happened, and I am so sorry! I hope you’re feeling better! I’m going to the Fire Nation to check on you after I leave, so stay put!_

_She didn’t say much about the assassin besides that he was one of your servants and that he was an Ozai loyalist. I can’t believe people actually still support that guy. Was the assassin old? I feel like only old people are Ozai loyalists. No offense._

_To cheer you up a little bit, I wanted to tell you that I found Guru Pathik in the Eastern Air Temple, and he told me to look for a lionturtle. I found one off the coast of Chameleon Bay, and we started making a plan to rebuild the Air Nomad population. I’m going to try to use my new energybending to give willing nonbenders the ability to airbend. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I want to try._

_Tell Toph and Uncle Iroh that I said hi! See you guys in a little bit!_

_Sincerely,_

_Aang_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day because why not? I was feeling motivated! 
> 
> The more I think about it, the more I'm definitely going to surpass the fifty-chapter maximum mark. At this point, I'm just going to embrace it. 
> 
> Also, I wanted to note that I'm not writing every single letter they send to each other. Especially in these new few chapters, there will be several time skips. I'm trying to put how long they have until they see each other next in the letters, that way you get an idea of how much time has passed between each. I hope it's not too confusing and that the method works for everyone! :)


	41. Announcements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara sends Zuko a letter with important news.

_Zuko,_

_Seven more months! Every day feels longer and longer when I’m apart from you. It’s becoming unbearable. Can you give me an excuse to sail up and see you?_

_Sokka proposed to Suki earlier this evening. He took her out to stargaze after dinner, and when they came back, she had the biggest smile on her face. I’ve never seen her so happy—not even after we won the war. He carved her a betrothal necklace, and it finally makes sense why he was spending so much time with Bato—it wasn’t to carve weapons, but instead jewelry. Even though betrothal necklaces weren’t initially a huge part of our culture, they became much more popular after the arrival of Master Pakku and the other waterbenders after the Siege of the North. That popularity is only increasing as more and more waterbenders come down for the school we’re building (the one I mentioned to you a few letters ago)._

_Zuko, you need to see the necklace! It’s gorgeous! I know what you’re thinking—Sokka has absolutely no artistic talent, but I think he must’ve practiced or something because wow! He carved an open fan with a boomerang curved underneath it, its elbow facing downward. It’s carved out of emerald, and there’s a small, ivory bead on either side of the pendant. Suki adores it to no end, and he honestly did a great job._

_There’s so much more love in the air, and it makes me miss you even more. I’m so happy for them, but I wish we were all here together to celebrate with them. I’m sure Sokka and Suki will send you a letter detailing their engagement and plans for their wedding, but I wanted to tell you first. Don’t tell them you know or congratulate them first though; I’m sure Sokka will want to tell you._

_I’m sure the next time I see you will be at their wedding. I’m counting down the days!_

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

“Took long enough!” Toph said. Her head was propped up against Zuko’s arm, and she rested her body weight on him. “I was wondering when they were going to.”

“I’m so happy for them,” Zuko said with a large grin. He rolled the letter up to place in the trunk with all of the other ones. “I’m just glad he proposed to her sooner rather than later. If he waited too long, Suki would’ve proposed to him instead, and he wouldn’t have appreciated that as much.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Toph agreed. “That’s not manly enough for him.” She tugged on a piece of his hair. “What about you, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“Now that Captain Boomerang’s finally proposed, when are you going to pop the question to Katara?”

Zuko choked on his spit.

“Wait, wha—”

“What are you thinking? Necklace like Water Tribe? Hairpiece like Fire Nation? Technically, you spent a lot of time in the Earth Kingdom, so you could always do a ring too!”

“I don’t know! Nothing!”

“Nothing?” Toph pouted and blew her bangs out of her face. “You’ve got to choose something. Don’t go Air Nomad. That’s no fun.”

“What? No! I-I mean, I will eventually, but not…not yet.”

“What’s the holdup, Sparky? Afraid of commitment?”

“We’ve only been dating a year.”

“And your point is? The Fire Sages are already pressuring you to give them an heir. Might as well get busy so that Sweetness can start popping ‘em out.”

“Please, don’t ever say that again,” Zuko said.

“What? Come on, I know better than anyone else that you two are prudes. I can feel everything, remember?”

“Toph, please.”

“All I’m saying is that you need to get on it before the rest of the palace comes at you with a turkey baster and they decide to get the heir themselves.”

“I’m literally begging you to stop.”

Toph threw her head back in laughter, pushing the rest of her weight on him. She kicked her feet up as she pressed her head deeper into his arm.

“Please, don’t give them any ideas,” Zuko said.

“I won’t have to if you just ask her already. I mean, the other two haven’t been dating that long either.”

He shrugged. “When you know, you know.”

Toph groaned. “Seriously, though. Get on it already.”

* * *

Katara’s eyelids were heavy. Training Nauja was more tiring than usual today, and after the meeting with the Elders, she felt especially wiped out. However, she tried to stay awake for Suki’s sake. Her enthusiasm was the only thing keeping Katara from falling onto her face.

“I really want flowers too!” Suki said. “When you have your weddings, do you decorate with any flowers?”

“Sometimes,” Katara said, trying to stifle a yawn. “They have to be ordered way in advance and delivered from the Earth Kingdom. Sometimes, we’ll also just use seaweed and create decorations by weaving that together.”

Suki nodded to herself and wrote something down on the paper in front of them.

“Do the Kyoshi warriors have any special traditions?” Katara asked. “Like do you get married in the uniform or anything?”

Suki laughed and gave her a smile. “No, the brides don’t wear the full attire. We definitely dress up for the occasion. There are actually several outfit changes. And I’m probably going to need help changing out of at least one of those outfits, so you’re going to have to help me.”

“Thanks for telling me in advance,” Katara joked.

“But yeah, we have a few traditions. One of them is that we have three cups, and the bride and groom have to take three sips from each cup. What about you? Do you have any wedding customs?”

“The receptions are usually pretty short, but the party afterward can go on for hours. There’s a lot of singing, and dancing, and eating. It’s so much fun! But during the ceremony, we’ll paint symbols on the foreheads of the bride and groom,” Katara explained. “That’s always been important.”

“I’m excited to see how we’ll combine traditions,” Suki said. “There’s so much planning to do though. It’s honestly kind of overwhelming.”

“Do you know if you’re having the wedding in the South Pole or in Kyoshi Island?”

“Probably in the South Pole,” she answered. “I don’t mind where we have it, but I know it would mean a lot to Sokka if we had the wedding down here.”

Katara nodded. “It really would. I know he’d love that.”

Suki smiled to herself. She brought her fingers up to the pendant of her new betrothal necklace, and she mindlessly rubbed the engraving with her thumb. “Yeah…”

“What about the outfits? Oh! We should see if Zuko would send down one of his stylists! I’m sure the seamstresses would love to make you an outfit.”

Suki laughed. “They probably would! Remember when we stayed in the Fire Nation, and they kept making outfit after outfit for us?”

“Exactly!” Katara smiled. “One of them told me that it’s simply more fun designing for girls, and now that Azula’s out of the palace…”

“Oh, that’s true,” Suki said thoughtfully. “I need to ask Zuko about that. I would love to have a dress made!”

“I’m sure he would send stylists down immediately,” she said. “Just give enough notice so that they’ll finish in time.”

“Definitely.” Suki grinned. “I’m so excited! I just want it to be the day of the wedding already!”

“There’s a lot to plan though,” Katara said. “I hope it won’t be too stressful.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, especially since you’ve been helping.” Suki smiled and rested her hand over Katara’s. “It means a lot to me.”

“Of course!” Katara smiled back. She felt a yawn pull at her jaw, but she tried to hide it. “I’ve been waiting for Sokka’s wedding since we were kids.”

“Couldn’t wait to get him out of the house, huh?”

“I just wish it could’ve happened earlier.”

The girls laughed, and for the first time in a while, everything felt happy, and free, and beautiful.

* * *

“Aang! Welcome back, buddy!”

The airbender rushed over and grabbed Zuko in a hug immediately before turning to Toph to embrace her too. “I missed you guys! How have you been? Zuko, how’s the stab wound?”

“Healing nicely,” he answered. He grinned. “Honestly, I’m just happy to be getting out of meetings and paperwork.”

“What about you, Toph?”

“Eh. Been taking care of Sparky,” she said. “It’s been pretty boring otherwise.”

“We need to go on another adventure soon,” Aang said. “Maybe we even get the others to come along!”

Appa groaned, and Zuko smiled. “Yeah, I missed you too.” He reached forward to pet the bison’s fuzzy head. Toph stuck her hand out and joined in as well.

“Did you hear the news?” Zuko asked.

“About the wedding?” Aang grinned. His smile split his face in half, and joy filled his eyes. “I got the letter just before I flew back here. I’m so happy for them! Their wedding is going to be beautiful; I just know it!”

“Zuko thinks it’ll be in Sokka’s village,” Toph said. “I think it’ll be in Suki’s. What do you think?”

Aang shrugged. “I don’t see why they can’t have two ceremonies.”

“They actually might,” Zuko said. “Sokka’s way more romantic than he likes to let on.”

“Yeah, who does that sound like,” Toph said. She nudged Zuko’s side, the one opposite of his still-healing wound. He shoved her back playfully, and she pulled on a strand of his hair.

“Regardless of what they choose, it’ll be nice to see everyone again,” Aang said. “I really missed you guys.”

“Don’t be such a sap,” Toph said. “Now, come on. Let’s get inside.”

“Aiko, can you lead Appa to the barn?” Zuko asked, turning to one of the servants. He bowed before walking over to Appa and leading him away from the trio.

“Let’s go!” Toph said. “Uncle’s still here, and I’m sure he wants to see you. Also, Zuko’s got a new stuffed animal, and I’m sure he wants to meet you too.”

“Wait, Zuko has a what?” Aang turned to Zuko with curious eyes filled with laughter. “You have a stuffed animal now?”

“It’s Kiyi’s,” he said. “She thought it might help me feel better.”

“She’s adorable,” Aang said with a smile. “I hope I get to see her again soon.”

“Yeah, me too,” Zuko said.

“Come on,” Toph complained. “Are you going to stand there all day or what?”

“Coming! Coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter in mind for a while now, and I'm so happy that I finally got to it. Let's be honest—those two would have a beautiful wedding.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you again for all of the comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc. It means a lot to me! :)


	42. Baby Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Katara and Zuko send each other more letters, Toph and Aang take the opportunity to tease the latter.

_Katara-_

_Aang arrived back in the Fire Nation a few days ago. He and Toph have managed to pull me out of four meetings already for various shenanigans. I can’t tell if I’m annoyed or grateful. It’s probably a mixture of the two._

_How are Sokka and Suki doing with their wedding planning? I can’t believe they’re getting married so soon. I’m not upset at that though; it just means I get to see you even sooner._

_I was talking to Kuei, and the conversation of nightmares can up. He asked how I was doing since you’ve been gone, given that you were always there to take care of me whenever they happened. I admitted to him that it’s been a lot harder to sleep nowadays and that I’m waking up more often throughout the night. Well, Toph and Aang found out, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to join me now. I’m not going to lie to you—it’s honestly really nice. It was incredibly uncomfortable at first since Toph spreads out like a starfish-mollusk, and Aang steals all of the blankets. But I really am sleeping better because of it. You’re still the best cuddler though. You’re simply not replaceable, no matter how hard the other two try._

_How has the construction of the school been going? Hopefully, everything is still going smoothly. You’d be a great director if you decide against teaching. Just a thought._

_Three more months until I can see you! I love you so much!_

_-Zuko_

* * *

_Zuko,_

_I’d love to see that! Even back in our days of traveling together, we only really had a cuddle party once or twice—and that was only on especially cold or stressful nights. I miss those days. Honestly, I think I just miss cuddling with you in general though. You're always so warm, and your chest makes the best pillow._

_I wish you’d told me you weren't sleeping well though. Are your nightmares getting worse, or is it just because you're alone? Also, you should ask your uncle for tea to sleep better. I’m sure he’ll gladly give you some._

_The school is coming together quickly, and everything looks marvelous! There’s a giant courtyard to spar, an indoor pool, several rooms with healing stations, and so much more. It’s super impressive considering we all still live in tents and only have two real buildings in the entire tribe._

_Pakku and I are going to become teachers. He’ll mainly focus on sparring, fighting, and defense, and I’ll be teaching a combination of that and healing, depending on the day. We’re super excited, and I know Nauja is looking forward to it as well._

_Nuvua gave birth a few days ago, and her baby is precious! She had a boy and named him Aput after his father. Zuko, he’s the cutest thing ever! He has the chubbiest cheeks and the biggest, brightest eyes!_

_Thanks to him, I’m having super bad baby fever. Just imagine a little combination of the two of us. Little babies with my curls and nose and your eyes and smile. That would be adorable!_

_I miss you so, so much! Even though the wedding has shrunk the countdown of the next time I can see you, two and a half months is still too long._

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

_Katara-_

_No._

_-Zuko_

* * *

_Zuko,_

_Did you really just send me a letter with the word ‘no’ and that’s it? That’s the biggest waste of parchment and ink._

_Okay, fine. I guess we can wait a little while, but think about it, okay? You’d make an amazing father._

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

“She’s right, you know,” Toph said. “You really would make a good dad. And I would love a Sparky Jr. to play with.”

“I’m not having kids,” Zuko said.

“Oh, just wait until Sugar Queen hears that one!”

“Why not?” Aang asked.

“I just don’t want to screw up my own kids like my parents did,” Zuko said.

“Just look to your mom for an example,” he retorted.

“Yeah, but Azula’s hallucinating Mom, not our father,” Zuko said. “Even though she didn’t mean to, she still made her own daughter feel…I don’t know. Like she was unloved. At least, compared to me.” He slumped his shoulders and scowled slightly. “I don’t want to do that too. I don’t want to be responsible for destroying my kids’ mental stability.”

“But that won’t happen with you and Sweetness,” Toph said. “I mean, you’re aware of what went wrong with your own parents, and you won’t make the same mistakes.”

“You’d never let that happen,” Aang said. “We’ve seen you with Kiyi.”

“Plus, you’ve got two great father figures to look to,” Toph added. “Uncle and Noren.”

“Either way, we aren’t married yet,” Zuko said. “We don’t sleep together, and we haven’t even seen each other in months. We’re not having kids anytime soon.”

“That’s what they all say,” Toph said, propping her feet up on Zuko’s lap. “All I’m saying is that those Fire Sages of yours keep begging for an heir. Might as well do it and make them shut up.”

Zuko rolled his eyes and pushed Toph’s ankles off him. “Still not happening.”

“I think you totally should!” Aang said.

“Can you stop pushing babies on me?”

“Absolutely not,” Toph said, grinning madly.

“We could call it ‘Flameo Hotbaby!’”

“No.”

“I think it’s clever!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No. End of discussion.”

“You’re no fun,” Aang said with a pout.

“I think Sparky’s right,” Toph said. She grinned. “‘Toph’ would make a much better name.”

Zuko groaned and pushed his face into his hands. “You two are going to be the death of me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is definitely the shortest chapter I wrote. I'm so, so sorry for the length, but to be honest, I just couldn't find it in me to write any further today. Tomorrow should be better, but today just wasn't it. I'm so sorry!


	43. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko, Aang, and Toph come down to the South Pole for Suki and Sokka's wedding.

_Zuko,_

_As I’m writing this, there’s exactly one month until Sokka and Suki’s wedding, meaning that this will probably be the last letter we send until I see you again. I’m incredibly excited! I’m excited to see you, Toph, and Aang (but especially you). I’m excited for the wedding. I’m so excited about everything that I’ve become a huge ball of nerves. I know it’s not helping the others, who are just trying to finish up last-minute plans. Suki’s stressed about things going wrong or not showing up in time. Sokka’s trying to comfort her through it, but I can tell he’s worried too. Dad is trying to get them both to realize that no matter what happens, their wedding will be amazing anyway, and Gran Gran keeps telling him to shut up because of course, they want their big day to be perfect. It’d be pretty funny if I weren’t stressed alongside them._

_I’ve been trying to keep my hands busy so that I don’t mess with them. When you told me that, I realized how helpful that advice was, and now, I always have something with me. I didn’t realize how often I played with my hair until now. Anyways, yeah, I’ve been trying to keep my hands busy. If I’m not training Nauja (she’s already mastered the water whip. Can you believe it?), then I’ve been helping Gran Gran make Sokka’s parka for the wedding. At night by the candlelight, I’ve been making myself a dress to wear to the wedding too. I’ve been using the embroidery thread you sent me a few weeks back, and it’s coming together nicely._

_Speaking of dresses, do not forget to bring Suki’s wedding dresses down with you. Do. Not. Forget. Toph and Aang share one brain cell that rotates between the two of them, so I can’t really trust them with that task. The responsibility is yours. Bring her dresses. Otherwise, I will make you swim back up to Fire Nation to retrieve them._

_Also, make sure to bring parkas. You haven’t been to the Southern Water Tribe since Aang came out of his iceberg, and even then, you didn’t stay that long. It gets cold, especially at night. Plus, it’s windy, so you’re really going to need thicker layers._

_My paranoia is already bleeding over into these letters. I just told you how I’m a ball of nerves, and now, you can clearly see it. Hopefully, I won’t be too bad once you guys come down. Or at least, after the wedding is over._

_I can’t wait to see you! I miss you so much! Once you arrive, I’m never going to let you out of my sight. We need to make up for all the time we’ve lost these past few months._

_I love you endlessly, and I’ll be waiting at the docks for your arrival._

_Love,_

_Katara_

* * *

“Do we have everything?” Aang asked. He looked behind him into Appa’s saddle.

“All the heavier stuff is going on the ship,” Zuko said.

“That’s why I’ll be on the ship instead of with you three,” Iroh joked. He let out a hearty laugh, and Zuko turned to him.

“That’s not what I meant!” he said, but Iroh waved him off.

“I know, but I couldn’t resist,” he said. “Just make sure you all have enough supplies. You’ll arrive maybe three or four days before I will.”

“I think we have enough,” Toph said. “We have plenty of food and clothes.”

“Do we have Suki’s three dresses?” Zuko asked.

Toph groaned. “Yes, we do. You’ve asked three times already.”

“Can you check again?” he asked.

“You’re so paranoid,” Aang said. He bent the air underneath him and landed in Appa’s saddle.

“Yeah, I think Sugar Queen’s letters are rubbing off on you,” Toph said. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Found it!” Aang lifted up a heavy bag, one similar to a body bag, to show the others. After Zuko had seen it, he put it back down. “It’s a-okay!”

“Okay,” Zuko said. “Okay, thank you.”

“I’ll see you in a few months,” Ursa said. She leaned forward to hug her son, and he relaxed into her embrace.

“Don’t forget to give Kiyi back her stuffed animal,” Zuko reminded her. “It’s in the center of my bed. Please, remember to take it before you leave.”

“I’ll remember.” They broke the hug, and she smiled at her son.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too.” She kissed Zuko’s cheek. “Be safe!”

“We will,” Zuko said. He walked over to Iroh and embraced him as well.

“I’ll be there shortly,” the older man said. “Take good care of the other two.”

“I will, Uncle.”

“Ready to go?” Aang asked. He was back on Appa’s head, the reins in his hands.

“Yeah,” Zuko said. He climbed up on Appa’s side and pushed himself up into the saddle.

“Bye, Uncle!” Toph said. She waved wildly in Iroh’s general direction. Aang turned and waved as well.

“Be safe on your travels!” Iroh yelled, waving back. “I’ll see you soon!”

“Bye!” Aang shouted. “Appa, yip yip!”

The sky bison groaned, and together, they went off towards the Southern Water Tribe.

As soon as they were airborne, Toph sighed in relief and propped her feet up on their bags. “I’m so glad we aren’t sailing down there,” she said. “Seasickness is the worst.”

“I didn’t want to deal with you throwing up everywhere anyway,” Zuko said. Toph nudged his side with her elbow.

“I’m excited to see everyone again,” Aang chirped. Momo flew over and landed on his shoulder, and the Avatar nuzzled the animal’s head. “It’s been so long since we were all together.”

“I can’t wait to show Snoozles my new metalbending technique!” Toph said with a grin. “I brought a hammer just for that!”

“You brought a hammer?”

She shrugged. “I needed the extra metal.”

Suddenly, Zuko leaned over and began rummaging through their belongings.

“Whatcha looking for, Prince Paranoid?”

“ _Fire Lord_ Paranoid, you mean,” Aang said. He grinned and turned to look at the older boy. “Hey, Zuko? You good?”

“Oh, please tell me—”

“Found it,” Zuko said. “Just, uh, checking to make sure Suki’s dresses were with us.”

“Oh, for the love of—”

* * *

Katara paced along the deck, just as she did every day for the past week. She knew at this point, her moccasins were rubbing marks into the wood, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. They could just replace it.

She felt a little tug on the bottom of her parka. When she turned to look, she saw Nauja behind her.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Katara smiled. She lifted her up onto her hip and held her up to look towards the horizon. “Where’s your sister?”

“She’s still playing with Iluka,” she said. Even though she was too big to be carried, she didn’t put up a fight. “I was practicing the octopus like you told me to,” she continued. A pout pulled at her full lips. “I still can’t get it though.”

“Oh, there’s no reason to worry about it,” Katara soothed. “With enough practice, you will. It can be a pretty challenging move the first time you try it.”

“You always do it so easily,” Nauja said.

“Well, I’ve been doing it for a while,” Katara said. She smiled and stroked the little girl’s braids. “And it wasn’t always easy for me either. I really struggled to get it that first time.”

Nauja nodded and rested her head on Katara’s shoulder.

“Do you want to go down?” she asked. Nauja nodded, and Katara put her down carefully. “Go hang out with Maali.” She watched as the little girl ran off, her little braids bouncing behind her.

As she turned her head back to the horizon, Katara noticed a small dot flying in the sky. As she squinted, she knew exactly who it was.

Grinning, she bolted towards the edge of the dock, just before the wood ended and the water began. She watched as the flying bison neared closer and closer, growing larger with each second. The wind whipped around her, but she couldn’t seem to care. Her eyes were glued to Appa.

As the flying bison began descending, Katara felt her heart thud rapidly. Her hands shook with excitement, and the infectious smile on her face was impossible to break.

“Katara!” Aang shouted. Appa landed, and he immediately bent the air underneath him to rush towards her. She stretched her arms out and grabbed him in a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Sweetness, don’t forget about us!” Toph slid down Appa’s side and landed on the ground with a bang. Almost immediately, she squealed. “This wood is freezing! How am I supposed to wear no shoes down here?”

“We’ll come up with something,” Katara said. She opened her arm out, and Toph immediately joined their hug.

“Come on!” Aang said. “You too, Zuko!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he grumbled. He jumped out of the saddle and landed on the ground. Immediately, Toph yanked him into the group circle.

Katara tried to look at Zuko, but Aang’s head blocked her view. _Did he grow taller while we were gone?_

“I missed you so much,” she said tearfully. “It’s been way too long.”

As the four separated, Katara immediately pulled Zuko into a hug of their own. She wrapped his arms around his neck, and she felt the familiar weight of his arms around her waist. She noticed that, like Aang, Zuko definitely grew too. She forced herself to stand on the tips of her toes, and she used him to balance herself.

“I missed you the most,” she whispered into his chest. She felt her eyes grow moist, and she buried her face deeper into his carmine red parka. The smell of campfires and his natural scent that she missed so much filled her senses. She never wanted to break away from his embrace.

“I missed you too,” he whispered back. He kissed the top of her head, and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. “I missed you more and more every day.”

She looked up at him, into his golden, honey-coated eyes. He had grown taller over the past few months, but he’d grown more handsome too. His jaw became even sharper, his cheekbones more accentuated. His hair had grown even longer; it was already past his shoulders, with half of his hair pulled into a low bun and half of it falling down loosely to his back. He was gorgeous. And spirits, Katara missed him.

Suddenly, the realization kicked in.

“Tui and La, Zuko!” She pulled away from his arms immediately. She didn’t notice the shock in his eyes as she pulled his parka and tunic up to reveal bare skin.

“Hey, you two mind _not_ stripping in front of everyone?” Toph said. “I get you’re excited and all, but yeesh.”

However, Katara ignored her words as she bent the water from the sea beside her. She engulfed her hands in the freezing water and pushed them up to Zuko’s side.

“Ah, that’s cold!” he hissed.

She looked up into his eyes just as the realization set into his.

“Katara, there’s no point,” he said. He gently took her wrists in his hands and pulled them away. “I’m already healed.”

She forced herself to look down at the wound. However, it was simply a scar at this point. The skin was thick and glossy with several small dots from where the stitches laid.

“I’m so sorry,” Katara said. She pulled him into another hug as the tears that had threatened to slip earlier finally fell. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to take care of you.”

“Hey, no, don’t blame yourself for that,” Zuko said. He lifted her chin and cupped her cheeks with his mitten-covered hands. “It’s not your fault.”

“I still wish I could’ve been there for you.”

“You were,” he said. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, one that made Katara melt. “In spirit.”

She smiled, blinking away tears. She knew they would likely freeze to her face if she didn’t wipe them away soon, but she couldn’t focus on anything other than the man she loved in front of her.

With her face still in his hands, he brought his lips to hers. They were warm and soft, and she felt the little sparks travel across her sensitive lips, down her spine, and to her toes. Her knees felt weak as his lips separated slightly, drawing her closer into him. She was melting under his touch, but she loved it.

“Hey, can you two stop making out already?” Toph said. “Aang and I want to go see Sokka and Suki.”

They pulled away, their cheeks red and lips parted breathlessly. Katara smiled at Zuko, whose blush was already trailing up to his ears. He must’ve forgotten about the other two as well.

“Yeah, um, sorry,” he stumbled. “Let’s go.”

They all began walking towards the village, side-by-side with Appa and Momo trailing behind them. Katara’s heart thudded with excitement as she turned her head to look at everyone she’d missed so much.

Aang was taller than she’d remembered, and he was already growing facial hair. He stuck his arm out for Momo to perch on his shoulder. His glider was strapped to his back. Despite his changed appearance, he was still exactly how she’d remembered him.

To his right, Toph walked next to them. Her thick hair was in its iconic bun, pushed back with a headband. Her bangs still covered her unseeing eyes, and she was still shorter than the rest of them, despite growing a little bit. As she walked, she complained about the freezing snow under her bare feet, and Katara knew they needed to think of a solution for her soon.

Beside Toph and just to the left of Katara, Zuko walked next to her. He held her hand in his, and his hand emanated warmth, even through his mitten. Having a firebender with her would be amazing. She missed having someone to keep her warm at night.

She missed them so much. Words couldn’t describe how much she missed them.

As they arrived at the large tent, Katara pushed the flap aside and ducked inside. Kanna was sitting beside Suki, and the two were weaving dried strips of seaweed to candles—surely decorations for the wedding. Sokka sat beside Suki, as if he wanted to join but the girls wouldn’t accept his help. He was the first to notice the tent flap was open, and when he saw the others, he grinned.

“Suki! Suki! Look!” he exclaimed, swatting his fiancée’s arm. She looked up, and her stormy blue eyes widened when she saw them.

“Guys! It’s so good to see you!” She dropped the seaweed on the furs underneath her and rushed over to the group. Sokka was on her tail, and they swept everyone up into a massive group hug.

“Congratulations, you two!” Aang beamed. “Your wedding is going to be amazing!”

“Oh, you guys need to see my necklace!” Suki gushed. She pushed her short hair out of the way and raised her chin to better show off the necklace.

“Whoa, Sokka…you did an amazing job,” Aang said, looking at the pendant.

“Definitely,” Zuko said, impressed with his best friend’s work. It was exactly how Katara described it—an open fan above a boomerang, both carved into a deep green emerald with round, ivory beads on either side.

“It took weeks to perfect,” Sokka said. “Only the best for this one.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and Suki smiled, happiness in her smile and love in her eyes.

“How was the trip down?” Suki asked. She grabbed Toph’s hand, leading it to her neck. As Toph traced the pendant to see the design, she nodded approvingly.

“It was better than I expected,” Toph said. “And your necklace is really pretty. At least, by the way it feels.”

“Yeah, we got here in record timing,” Aang added. “I didn’t expect to be down here so fast.”

“Well, I guess you finally got your wish, Aang,” Sokka said. “We’re all here together in the South Pole, just like you wanted.”

“Took long enough,” Katara added with a smile, a hint of humor in her voice.

“I just wish it wasn’t so cold!” Toph moaned. She had her hands on Zuko’s arms, trying to absorb some of his warmth. “My feet are freezing!”

“Yeah, we’ve had to listen to her complain the entire walk down here,” Zuko said. He pulled off his mittens, as well as Toph’s. He tucked them under his arm before grabbing her hands again. He heated up his skin slightly, and Toph sighed.

“That’s better,” she said. “My own personal handwarmer.”

“Zuko, did you bring the dresses?” Katara asked. Immediately, Suki’s eyes lit up, and she turned her head to look at him in excitement and hope.

“Ugh, he would not stop talking about it!” Toph groaned. “Every other minute, he was asking, ‘Oh, do we have Suki’s dresses?’ ‘We need Suki’s dresses.’ ‘I know you just checked, but check again because we need Suki’s dresses.’”

Aang, Sokka, and Suki laughed, but Katara just smiled, pressing her hand to Zuko’s scarred cheek. “Oh, he was just listening to me. I was the one who pestered him about it.”

“Can I see them?” Suki asked.

“Of course,” Aang said. “Sokka, we’ll be back in a minute.”

“What, I can’t come?”

“No, of course, you can’t!” Katara snapped. “You don’t get to see her dresses until the wedding day!”

Sokka groaned and slumped back into the pile of pelts on the floor. “Fine, whatever.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Suki kissed his forehead. “It’ll mean more to you that way.”

“Come on, come on!” Aang said.

“Alright, coming!” Suki said. She smiled at her fiancé lovingly before disappearing through the flap on the tent.

“Gran Gran, can you keep an eye on Sokka?” Katara asked. “Appa’s right outside the tent. I don’t want him to see the dresses.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t peek,” Kanna said with a smile. She whacked her grandson with the dried seaweed in her hand jokingly, and Sokka gave his sister a look.

“Thank you!” she said. “We’ll be back in a minute!”

She couldn’t wait to see it.

As the girls and Aang all left the tent, Sokka and Zuko were left alone with Kanna. The old woman set the seaweed and candles aside and stood up.

“It’s about time I met you personally,” she said, smiling warmly at Zuko. “I don’t think that last time really counted.”

Zuko’s cheeks burned, and he knew the redness went all the way to his ear. “Yeah, I, um, I didn’t…I’m so sorry,” he stumbled. However, Kanna just laughed.

“You’re just as awkward as my grandkids say you are,” she said warmly.

“What…um…what have they told you?” Zuko asked. He narrowed his eyes at Sokka, who simply put his hands up in faux defeat.

“Well, for one, I know all about your family history,” Kanna said. “And so does the rest of the village.” She reached for his bare hands and held them within hers. “Because of that, no one blames you for what you did. None of us do.” She squeezed his hands gently.

“I deserve it though,” he said. “How can you be so forgiving of me? I don’t…I don’t even forgive myself for the things I’ve done,” he admitted, his voice quiet.

“Ah, you hear that?” Kanna asked. “That humility? That regret? That’s exactly why we forgive you.”

Zuko dipped his head down, but Kanna wasted no time hugging him tightly. “I know that you’ve changed, or perhaps that the good man that you are now has always been there the whole time. Just behind a rough exterior. You’ve already proven it to my grandchildren and to the whole world. Don’t feel like you need to do it again.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything.”

“It’s you whom I should be thanking,” Kanna said. She pulled away to smile at the firebender. “I heard about how you saved Katara’s life, after all.”

“She saved me too,” Zuko said. “She healed me before it did any real damage.”

“But you were willing to die for her. And you were willing to die to end this horrible war. I’d say that makes you a pretty great man in my book.”

Zuko smiled back at her.

“Aw, group hug?” Sokka said. He stood up off the ground, his arms outstretched.

“Sokka, sit down,” Kanna said.

Katara peeked her head into the tent. “Gran Gran, it’s gorgeous! You have to come see it!”

Kanna nodded. She gave Zuko a kind look and a smile before exiting the tent. Katara, however, stayed back with her boyfriend and her brother.

“How does Suki like it?” Sokka asked.

“She adores them,” Katara said. “She can’t wait to show you. We’re going to have to kick you out of here eventually for her to try them all on though. That way, Gran Gran and I can make any last-minute adjustments if we need to.”

Sokka smiled. “I’m glad she likes it. I’m glad she’s happy.”

“You two are good for each other,” Zuko said. “I think she’d be happy to marry you no matter what she was wearing.”

Katara nudged him. “Don’t say that. It’ll get to his head.”

“It’s true though,” he said with a shrug.

“I mean, you’re right, but you don’t have to say it in front of Sokka.”

“I’m still here, you guys!”

“Usually, you’re the one who’s right,” Zuko said. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “It feels pretty good to be right, for a change.”

“You know what else feels pretty good?” Katara said slyly. She raised herself forward on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Zuko’s, savoring the sparks between them. She sighed into the kiss.

“I just said I was still here!”

* * *

That night, the tent was more crowded than usual. Although Kanna and Hakoda left to spend the night with Bato to give the friends some time together, it was still cramped with an extra person, a winged lemur, and the head of a flying bison.

Zuko forgot how loudly Sokka snored, but he didn’t think that was the reason keeping him awake. His mind was going wild, and he couldn’t seem to stop the thoughts.

He shifted slightly. He was tucked into Katara’s bedroll, his arms around her. It was tight, but they didn’t want it any other way.

“Mmm, Zuko?” Katara asked drowsily. “Are you still up?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I’m up.”

Katara pressed herself closer to him. The backs of her arms were cold, and he rested his hands on the skin to warm her.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked, her words muffled in his bare chest.

“I’m thinking about the last time I visited,” Zuko admitted. “I threatened your people. I grabbed your grandmother. I flung fire at them in anger.”

Katara sat up immediately. “Zuko, that was a long time ago. You’re a different person now. The rest of the village knows that.”

“Your grandmother said that the people in your tribe already forgave me,” he said. “Is…is that true?”

“Of course,” she said. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug and switched their position. Zuko rested his head on her chest. She felt so soft under his cheek. “There are people who came down from the North who don’t like that I’m dating someone from the Fire Nation, but everyone who was there that day. Everyone from the South…they all forgive you.” She moved his hair out of the way and kissed his forehead. “The women all wanted to meet you, remember? The _real_ you. The only time they’ve ever seen you, your guard was up, and you were acting like you did to appease your father.”

“I know,” Zuko said, “and I regret it. I regret it every single day.”

“They know that,” Katara said. She carded her fingers through his hair, and Zuko sighed into her touch.

_I missed this._

“They know that you regret what you did and that you’re actively making amends. Plus, you’ve already made it up to them, even if you don’t realize it.” She kissed the crown of his head. “Baby, listen to me. Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. Everyone has heard everything, and they know why you were acting that way. They know you were scared, so you were putting up your defenses and being aggressive to mask it. They know you just wanted to go home, so you were willing to do whatever your father asked of you to get that. They _know_ , baby. And they’re not judging you off your past actions anymore. They know I love you and that you saved my life, and that you went against your own people to help us, and that you helped stop the war, and that you’ve been making reparations to fix mistakes that your ancestors made.” She kissed his head again. “You’ve done so much to help the world, and they know it. They don’t hate you. I promise.”

Zuko nodded into her chest. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“If anyone says anything, you let me know,” Katara said. She stroked his hair lovingly. “But I can almost guarantee that if anyone does say something, it’ll be someone from the North. Not the South.”

“Okay…okay, I will.” He stretched his arms out around her further, cuddling into her. “I love you, Kat.”

“I love you too,” she said. “And now that I finally have you in my arms, everything feels so perfect again.”

Zuko smiled. He fell asleep like that, smiling against the woman of his dreams, with his cheek on her breasts and her hands in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a nice, long chapter to make up for my lack of will yesterday. You all deserve it. 
> 
> I'm super excited! The next chapter will be the wedding! I've had this in mind for dozens of chapters now, and I'm excited to finally put it into words. I hope you're as excited as me!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this newest chapter! Thank you again for all the kudos, comments, and bookmarks! You guys are amazing! :)


	44. Wedding Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka and Suki finally get married, and Team Avatar celebrates their union at the wedding.

It was impossible for the day to be any prettier.

The sky was bright with strips of pale pink, lavender, periwinkle, and baby blue that melted together. The wind, which had been relentless for several weeks, had finally calmed down. Even the penguins had gathered in the distance to watch.

“They did such a great job,” Aang said, leaning over to whisper to the group. “It’s beautiful.”

“I know!” Katara agreed. The smile on her face was impossible to break. She looked down the aisle at the decorations yet again. Along the aisle, the dried seaweed-lined candles were already lit (courtesy of Zuko), carving a path in the snow. Panda lilies decorated the shrine at the front of the altar. Everyone was already seated on soft arctic wolf-bear furs and dressed in their best outfits. It was perfect.

As Sokka walked to the front, Toph noticed him first. She immediately turned, whooping and hollering as he walked. He grinned at her before flashing her a set of finger-guns.

“Wow, Sokka cleans up nice,” Zuko whispered.

“Hey, now,” Katara whispered back, a smile pulling at her lips. “You’re stuck with me already, and he’s getting married. You lost your chance.”

Zuko’s cheeks turned bright red. “That…that’s not what I…Katara, you know—”

She giggled, hiding her smile behind a mitten-covered hand. “You know I’m teasing,” she said. “You’re right though. He does look really good.”

Katara looked back up to see her brother make his way to the shrine at the altar. He was wearing a navy parka lined with arctic wolf-bear fur and decorated with turquoise and ivory beading. His wolf tail hairstyle was covered by an elaborate headpiece, one made from a wolf-bear head, arctic hen feathers, and turquoise stones. A thick necklace made from ivory and turquoise adorned his neck.

He looked so handsome, so grown-up. It was hard to picture him as the little boy that would pelt snowballs at her and play tag with her after their chores. She didn’t know when he became a man, but now, it was hard to unsee it.

The audience grew hushed immediately. The men of the tribe, all of whom sat along the sides of the audience, began beating on the drums. Everyone turned to look at the end of the aisle, and Katara couldn’t resist the gasp that fell from her lips.

Suki, in all of her glory, began walking down the aisle. Her dress, emerald green with a sheer golden overlay, billowed slightly with each step. A golden sash wrapped around her waist and accentuated her figure, and golden flowers were embroidered into the hems of the sleeves and the skirt. Gold earrings with rubies embedded in the design hung from her earlobes, and they matched the armband on her bicep. A pale gray shawl made of fur that matched Sokka’s was thrown over her shoulders. Her eyes were lined with kohl and red makeup that reminded Katara of her typical Kyoshi warrior makeup. Her lips, painted red, were pulled into a smile. Her hands, which held a bouquet of panda lilies and coiled seaweed, shook slightly in nervousness. Her hair was curled and pulled back away from her face, allowing her betrothal necklace to be on full display.

She looked gorgeous. She was a goddess, a spirit on earth. She was ethereal.

As she walked down the aisle, every member of the audience stood up. Those from the South mumbled prayers under their breath, and a low rumble was heard as dozens of members whispered praises to the spirits.

Suki passed her bouquet to Katara before standing in front of the shrine. She reached for Sokka’s hands, and they looked at each other with such a love in their eyes.

Hanta stood from his seat at the altar with the other elders—Ujurak, Ikiaq, Kanna, and Yuka—and he made his way to the couple at the shrine. He stood between them, facing the audience, who bowed to the three at the altar before taking a seat on the furs. “Family and friends,” he spoke, his voice reverent and clear, “thank you all for coming to celebrate this glorious day with us. We are gathered here today to unite Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe and Suki of the Kyoshi Warriors in marriage.”

Zuko moved his hand slightly to Katara’s lap, where he grabbed her hand. She squeezed his gently, and he immediately returned the gesture. She smiled at the act.

“Before we begin, we must purify this couple before the spirits,” Hanta continued.

Yuka stood up from her seat at the altar, and Hanta sat down. She grabbed an ivory bowl and began to burn the sage that was inside it. She grabbed an arctic hen feather and began wafting the smoke towards the couple.

“May your hands be cleansed, that they create beautiful things,” Yuka said, waving the feather so the smoke billowed to the couple’s clasped hands. “May your feet be cleansed, that they may take you where you most need to be.” She moved the bowl and feather to their feet, letting the smoke purify them. “May your heart be cleansed, that you may hear its message clearly. May your throat be cleansed, that you might speak rightly when words are needed.”

With each new statement, Yuka moved the bowl and feather to that area of the couple. The smoke from the sage flowed around them, and Sokka smiled with each word of the prayer.

“May your eyes be cleansed, that you may see the signs and wonders of this world,” Yuka continued. “May this person and this space be washed clean by the smoke of these fragrant plants. And may that smoke carry our prayers, spiraling to the heavens.” She set the bowl and feather down and bowed before returning to her seat. Hanta stood back up and walked back to the couple.

“Next, we shall exchange the nuptial cups, as is a custom of Suki’s,” he said, stepping back between the couple. He grabbed a small set from the altar. It had three, red dishes of varying sizes and a pot similar to a teapot. “San san kudo is a tradition of the Earth Kingdom,” he continued. “By exchanging cups of sake, they are also exchanging their marriage vows.”

Suki accepted the pot from Hanta and poured the sake into the three dishes. Sokka drank the rice wine from each cup, each in a single sip until he finished the drink. Then, Suki handed Sokka the pot, and he refilled the cups. She drank the sake as well, downing the liquid from each dish.

“Next, the sake will be served to the parents of the bride and groom,” Hanta continued. Hakoda stood up from his seat and walked to the alter. Two people that Katara didn’t recognize followed suit. Hakoda drank from the dishes first, followed by Suki’s parents. After they had all drank the rice wine, the fathers exchanged cups, symbolically linking together the families and sealing the bond between them.

“And we all say, ‘Omedeto gozaimasu,” Hanta said.

“Omedeto gozaimasu,” the audience repeated. Sokka and Suki smiled at each other lovingly as their parents took a seat back in the audience.

Hanta moved a small, ivory bowl filled with water into the audience’s view. “An ancient Water Tribe custom, we shall now thank the spirits for the man and woman before us, before Tui, La, and Yue. The couple has asked for Katara to perform the ritual.” Hanta bowed before taking several steps back, allowing Katara to step forward.

She bent the water out of the bowl and spiraled it between her hands. The water swished between her fingertips for a few moments before Katara bent it towards Sokka and Suki. It danced around them, wrapping them up in its thin waves.

“In the names of Tui, and La, and Yue, we give thanks to the spirits for the couple before us,” Katara recited. The water swirled around them over and over as she continued. “For Sokka, we thank you for his strength and love. Allow him to provide his wife with a firm foundation. Allow him to take care of her and their family. To provide her with security and love. To the spirits in the sky, the seas, and between.”

“Nakurmiik,” the members of the Water Tribe said in sync.

“For Suki,” Katara continued, still spinning the water around them, “we thank you for her willingness and dedication. Allow her to provide her husband with security. Allow her to make their home. To provide him with children. To the spirits in the sky, the seas, and between.”

“Nakurmiik,” they repeated.

Katara brought her hands up to the air, and the water spiraling around Sokka and Suki followed her. It traveled up into the sky before Katara spread her hands apart rapidly. The water turned to snow, falling back down to the ground around the couple.

“Whoa,” Aang whispered to Zuko. “This is amazing.” The firebender simply nodded back, never taking his eyes off the altar.

Katara bowed to the couple before returning to her seat. As she sat down, she grabbed Zuko’s hand again and squeezed it.

“Now, the moment I know you’ve all been waiting for,” Hanta said, his voice full of humor and his eyes full of joy. “Do you, Sokka, take Suki to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Sokka said. He squeezed Suki’s hands gently.

“Do you, Suki, take Sokka to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Suki answered. She smiled and squeezed Sokka’s hands back.

Hanta turned to the shrine and grabbed yet another ivory bowl, this one filled with a red, clay-based paint. Sokka and Suki pulled off their mittens and placed them on the shrine beside them, next to all the other bowls. “As you dip your fingers in the clay,” Hanta recited, “may it remind you of the unbreakable bond you will share, now and forever. Now, if you will, please present to the other the Mark of the Loved.”

Sokka dipped his index finger into the paint. He pressed his fingertip to Suki’s forehead and drew a symbol on her skin. He drew two perpendicular lines with a dot on either side of the horizontal line. Hanta gave him a cloth, and Sokka wiped the excess paint off his finger. Then, Suki repeated the process, drawing the same mark on Sokka’s forehead before wiping her fingers off on the same cloth.

“From this day forward,” Hanta said, “in life and death, on Earth and the Spirit World, you two are linked together. In the name of La, Tui, and Yue.”

“We have now become united as husband and wife in this shrine,” Sokka recited. “We respectfully pledge to make our hearts as one, give mutual help and support, faithfully execute our marital duties and responsibilities, and spend all the days of our lives together with unchanging trust and eternal affection.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Hanta said. “You may now kiss the bride.”

As Sokka leaned forward, taking Suki’s face in his hands, he pressed a kiss to her lips. The audience—the Southern Water Tribe members, the Kyoshi warriors, the Gaang, everyone—cheered wildly. The kiss lasted several seconds, and Sokka dipped Suki back slightly. When they separated, the men began to beat on the drums once more, and the newlyweds made their way down the aisle, followed by the five elders.

“That was amazing,” Aang exclaimed as he walked with Katara, Zuko, and Toph down to the tents. “I’ve never seen a Water Tribe wedding ceremony before! Or an Earth Kingdom one, for that matter!”

“That was the strangest wedding ever,” Toph said. “The way they combined their different traditions. But it was really nice too.”

“I’m so happy for them!” Katara said. Her face was red from excitement, and her smile made her cheeks hurt. “That was beautiful.”

“You still have the bouquet?” Toph asked. Katara handed it over to the girl who sniffed the flowers. “I don’t know how they look, but they smell nice, at least.” She inhaled deeply once more before Zuko pulled the bouquet out of her hands.

“Quit violating the flowers,” he said. “I don’t think Suki would appreciate your nose all up in her bouquet.”

Toph shrugged. “Like she’d even notice.” However, almost immediately, she sneezed.

As the four reached the tents, Katara pushed the flap open. “Sokka! Suki!” she exclaimed. She grabbed the two of them in a hug, tears running down her cheeks. “That was so beautiful!”

“It was perfect,” Suki said, wiping away her own tears. “I couldn’t imagine anything better.”

“The wedding’s not over yet,” Sokka said. He draped his arm around Suki’s shawl-covered shoulders and tugged her closer into him. “We still got the reception to attend.”

“Time for an outfit change.” Suki grinned. “So if everyone except for Katara could get out of the tent, that’d be amazing.”

* * *

When Sokka and Suki arrived at the reception—with Suki adorned in a new, forest green parka with emeralds and rubies sewn into it—the party had officially begun. They all gathered around a large bonfire and shared food from both sides. Stewed sea prunes, seaweed fritters, fried crepes, dumplings, rice cakes, kale cookies, bread buns, crab cakes, and several fruit platters were just a few of the foods that lined the area. The feast was magnificent.

“Why I am not surprised that Sokka put the most effort into the food rather than anything else?” Toph said, popping her sixth rice ball into her mouth.

“I’m just grateful for the vegetarian options,” Aang praised. “Ones that aren’t sea prunes—no offense.”

“None taken,” Sokka said with a shrug. “We tried really hard to push for that. But a lot of the people in the tribe couldn’t fathom why we needed meals without meat.”

“I really appreciate it,” Aang said.

“How does it feel to be a married man?” Zuko asked. “Any different?”

“I don’t know yet. It hasn’t really kicked in.” Sokka grinned. “What about you, Suki?”

“It feels amazing,” Suki said. “It’s indescribable.”

“I feel like you got the lesser end of the deal,” Katara joked. “Now, you’re stuck with my idiot brother for life.” Sokka elbowed her ribs, but she smiled and laughed.

“No, I definitely lucked out with this one,” Suki said. She leaned her head on her husband’s shoulder, and Sokka wrapped an arm around her.

“You’re saying that now, but just wait until you have to do his laundry.”

“Bold of you to assume Sokka’s not the domestic one,” Toph said. She licked the teriyaki sauce off her fingers. “Suki’s got him whipped. I’m sure if he’ll do whatever chore she asks of him. Heck, at night, he already obeys her every request and—”

“Toph, shut up,” Zuko said. “Uncle’s coming.”

“Congratulations, you two!” Iroh exclaimed as he walked over, unaware of their previous conversation. He leaned down to give Sokka and Suki hugs. “Your wedding was very handsome!”

“Thank you, Iroh,” Suki said, a smile etched upon her features.

“It means a lot,” Sokka agreed.

“Now, we’re just waiting for little, meat-loving, Kyoshi warrior babies,” Toph said. “Isn’t that right, Sokka?”

“Uh, maybe in a few years,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I swear to Agni, us having kids is all you talk about nowadays,” Zuko groaned.

Toph shrugged. “Well, maybe I’m getting sick of you guys and want some new recruits.”

“Or maybe you just don’t want to admit that you actually really like kids,” Katara said, wiggling her eyebrows. Toph huffed and blew her bangs out of her face before stuffing her mouth full with her seventh rice ball.

“Yeah, watch _you_ be the one to have all the kids, Toph,” Aang laughed.

“Destiny is a funny thing,” Iroh said with a smile. “Maybe the spirits will bless you with a bountiful number of children.”

“Oh, shut up,” Toph said. “All of you.”

“Not as funny when you’re the one getting teased, is it now?” Sokka said, elbowing the girl beside him.

“Whatever, my ‘bountiful number of children’ will all be yours anyway,” Toph said. “Just watch. You’re all going to be the ones to have a lot of kids, not me.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Aang said, biting into a vegetable-stuffed dumpling.

* * *

With Suki’s third outfit change (a shimmery, silver and green dress that billowed with each movement) came the end of the feast, and the bonfire was cleared to make room to dance. The men pounded on the drums, and Hanta and Ujurak began their throat singing. Sokka pulled Suki to the dancefloor, and together, they performed a ritualistic dance from Water Tribe ceremonies. Their feet pounded on the frozen ground as he led the dance. They spun together, waving their arms towards the night sky and bending their limbs in different shapes. The beads on Sokka’s parka and Suki’s dress clinked together as they moved, and the tassels flapped in the air.

Next, the men gathered together for one of their tribal dances, followed by the women. The cheering and laughter mixed with the drums and the throat singing.

Zuko sat on the sidelines with Toph, both of whom had absolutely no experience dancing like this and had nowhere close to the amount of confidence as Aang.

“How you feeling?” Zuko asked the girl huddled next to him. Her arms were around his, trying to soak up his warmth.

“It’s hard to concentrate with this many movements,” Toph said. “It’s really cool, but it’s really busy as well.”

Zuko nodded. “I understand that.”

Meanwhile, his eyes were glued to Katara’s figure. She danced with the other women in her tribe, her eyes glistening with joy and her throat spilling with laughter. Her feet thumped to the sound of the drums, and she spun around with the others. The beads on her dress swayed with each of her movements. As she raised her hands up to the sky, Zuko saw the snow around her freeze in the air.

Toph snorted. “You’re hopeless, you know that?”

“What?”

“Don’t act like I don’t know you’re staring at her. Go out and dance with her.”

“I don’t know how to dance to this kind of music.”

“Ask her to show you.”

“And embarrass myself in front of everyone?”

Toph shrugged. “Can’t be any worse than Aang.” She pointed at the figure cloaked in yellow and orange in the center of the dancefloor. Even though he was trying to imitate their footwork and arm movements, he couldn’t compete.

“Look,” she said. “Here she comes now.”

“Zuko!” Katara called, walking towards him and Toph. “Come dance with me!”

“I-um…”

“Come on! Please?”

Toph smirked. “Go appease your lady friend.” Zuko shoved her playfully before standing up and following Katara to the side of the dancefloor.

“I have no idea how to dance to this,” he admitted.

Katara giggled. “I know. That’s why I’m here to help. Watch, follow my lead.”

She guided him through the movements, showing him where to step and how to move his arms to the rhythm. In no time, they were already dancing together on the frozen ground, thumping their feet together and laughing as they circled each other.

“See? You’ve got it!” Katara cheered.

“If only we could get Toph up here,” Zuko said.

Katara smiled. “I don’t mind keeping you to myself though.”

“Me neither.”

The drums slowed down dramatically, and the sounds of a pipa and an erhu joined along. The couples all gathered together and began swaying with each other, with Sokka and Suki still in the middle of the dancefloor.

“Now, this I can do,” Zuko said. Pulling Katara closer to him, he guided one of her hands to his shoulder, and he put one of his hands on her waist. He held her other hand, and together, they slow danced across the frozen dancefloor.

“This night has been beautiful,” Katara said. She rested her head on Zuko’s chest, smiling softly as they swayed. “It’s so perfect.”

“I know Sokka and Suki are enjoying it too,” Zuko said. They looked over at the newlyweds in the center of the dancefloor. They had loving smiles on their faces as they gazed up into each other’s eyes.

“The moon is directly over them too,” Katara said, a soft sigh in her voice. “Suki wanted this. She knew how much it would mean to Sokka to have Yue watching over them.”

“They’re good for each other,” he said. “He’s lucky to have her, and vice versa.”

They spent the rest of the night dancing together, bathed in the moonlight as they held each other. Even though this was Sokka and Suki’s special night, they savored it just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a fun chapter to research and write about. I love the idea of a wedding with a combination of traditions from the newlyweds' different backgrounds (Even my own parents had a wedding like that, so I guess it's to be expected). There's something so unique and beautiful about it, and I wanted Sokka and Suki's wedding to be the same way.
> 
> The wedding combined several customs from Shinto weddings, Inuit rituals, Native American smudging ceremonies, and western traditions, as well as some made-up ones for the Water Tribe. The words from their native languages from the ceremony are listed below:
> 
> Nakurmiik: Thank you (Inuktitut)  
> Omedeto gozaimasu: Congratulations [formal] (Japanese)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know we were all looking forward to this one. :)


	45. Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Sokka get into a fight with one of the Northerners from their sister tribe.

“Soooo,” Toph drawled, biting into a strip of seal jerky, “how was last night?”

“Toph, seriously?” Even though the question wasn’t directed towards him, Zuko still felt his face heat up and paint itself a bright shade of red.

“What?”

“Don’t you think you’re a little young to be asking that kind of stuff?”

“I’m fifteen! That’s the same age Sokka and Suki were when they first started messing around!”

“Forget your age!” Katara said. “Don’t you think asking that is…I don’t know…a little _personal_?”

“Especially when we’re eating,” Aang added, his mouth full. He had shoved several pieces of fruit—leftovers from last night’s feast—into his mouth to distract himself from the conversation. However, no amount of fruit could bring the color back to his pale face.

“Excuse me, the question was aimed towards Suki and me,” Sokka said dramatically. “And to answer your question, Toph, it was fantastic. Thanks for asking.”

Zuko groaned and dropped his head into his arms.

“I’m just grateful Dad, Bato, and Nanouk built you two another tent,” Katara said.

“I’m grateful for the snow muffling the vibrations,” Toph added.

“I’m grateful you guys weren’t around so that when I ate Suki ou—”

“I’m grateful you aren’t talking about this in the middle of breakfast,” Zuko interrupted, his voice raising several octaves. As he lifted his head up, everyone around him saw that his cheeks were redder than before. “Oh, wait, you _are._ So stop!”

“Yeah, I’m with Zuko,” Aang said. “Please stop. I don’t want to hear this.”

“Agreed,” Katara said, turning her eyes back to her meal.

Sokka shrugged. “Hey, Toph’s the one who asked.”

Toph grinned and nodded. “Give us all the details, oh great sex god.”

Aang paled, and Katara gagged, but the earthbender just laughed at her own joke.

“Suki, how are you feeling about all this?” Katara asked, turning her attention to the girl seated beside her brother, calming eating her breakfast.

“I mean, it’s not like you didn’t already know,” she said with a shrug.

“Where’s the honeymoon going to be?” Zuko asked, desperately trying to change conversations.

“Gaoling,” Suki answered with a smile. However, Toph just groaned.

“Really? You could go anywhere in the world, and you chose _Gaoling_?”

“Hey, don’t be upset because we get to see the legendary Lao and Poppy Beifong before you do,” Sokka said. He grabbed another strip of seal jerky and tore a piece off with his teeth.

“You can keep ‘em for all I care,” Toph replied. She crossed her arms, but Katara placed a hand over the other girl’s shoulder.

“Maybe you can make amends one day,” she offered.

“I’d rather stay with Sparky at the palace,” Toph said. “And when you two start screwing each other like rabaroos like Sokka and Suki do, then I’ll just travel the world with Aang.” She shrugged, ignoring the blushes and staggered heartbeats from her friends.

“I swear to Yue,” Katara grumbled.

* * *

“You’ve got to see the school we’re working on!” Katara exclaimed. Her hand was around Zuko’s wrist as she pulled him out of the tent.

“Is it in session today?” he asked.

“Nope, I’ve still got four more days until lessons resume again,” she answered, still guiding him out into the snow. “But in the meantime, I want to show you what it’s like.”

As she led him past the tents away from the center of the village, Zuko felt his jaw drop as he came across an immense igloo, large enough to fit several families comfortably. Icicles decorated the doorframe meticulously, and the snow bricks glistened in the pale sunlight.

“It’s even better inside,” Katara said, noticing the awe in her boyfriend’s expression. “Come look!”

When they entered the school, they were immediately welcomed with a large waterfall, one that spilled from the ceiling and trailed throughout the floor in thin streams. The water, slightly frozen but still liquid, gleamed as it flowed through each nook and cranny of the floor. On the side, there were several smaller rooms, each with a large table in the middle with a mannequin, similar to the one Yugoda taught with.

“Amazing, right?” Katara said. She nudged Zuko’s ribcage with her elbow and grinned from ear-to-ear.

“Did…did you build this?” he stumbled.

“Yeah, all the waterbenders that came down with Pakku after the Siege of the North…well, we all helped construct the building.” Katara put her hands on her hips as she gazed around the school with pride. “Pakku and I are the main teachers though.”

“This is…wow.” Zuko looked around the school in complete awe. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How about that your girlfriend is amazing and talented?” she joked. She tilted her head playfully and batted her eyelashes.

“Nope, can’t let that go to your head,” he said, laughter on his tongue.

She shrugged and smiled. “It was worth a shot.”

Heavy footsteps pounded on the ground behind them, and the couple turned to see Sokka rushing towards them.

“Sokka, is everything okay?” Katara asked. Concern flooded her features as she furrowed her eyebrows.

“What? Yeah, everything’s fine. Why?”

“Well, the way you came running over here, I thought something bad had happened.”

“No, I’m fine.” He shrugged. “Suki told me that you were taking Zuko to see the school for the first time since he arrived. I wanted to see his reaction. Especially considering I helped to build it and all.”

“Wait, you helped build it too?” Zuko asked.

“Well, kind of,” Sokka said. “I was the engineer behind it all. I did a lot of the planning, drawing layouts…things like that.”

“It looks great, buddy.” 

“Thanks, man.” Sokka rested an arm over his friend’s shoulders, and the three of them looked around the school in wonder.

“So how many students do you have?” Zuko asked.

“Oh, well, um, there actually aren’t too many right now,” Katara said. She reached up to her shoulder to play with her wavy, brown locks. “We only have six students—Nauja and five waterbenders from the North. Four are strictly learning defense, but two of them are learning how to heal as well. It’s hard though because healing is already a rare but treasured skill, and there aren’t that many of us.”

“Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere,” Sokka said. “Just you wait. In a few years, it’ll be full of students!”

Katara looked up towards the waterfall, watching as her element poured down the wall. “I guess you’re right.”

Zuko wrapped an arm around Katara’s waist and leaned closer to her. “Didn’t you say in your letter that there was a courtyard?”

Immediately pulled out of her disappointment, a huge smile lit up her face. She grabbed Zuko’s hand and held it within her own as she led him down a hallway. They passed a few more rooms until they reached a large door made of ice. She pushed it open, revealing a large space to fight. Vases full of liquid water and solid ice blocks lined the corners of the courtyard. Snow covered the floor, and footprints revealed that someone had recently used the area. It was a waterbender’s dream.

“That’s perfect for you,” Zuko said. He pressed a kiss to Katara’s temple, and she smiled.

“We worked really hard on it,” she said. “It’s really fun to come at night and spar under the moonlight as well. I’d say we should do it sometime, but…well, it won’t be much of a fight.” She giggled, holding her hand up in front of her mouth to disguise her smile.

“It could still be fun,” Zuko said. “For the two minutes it lasts anyway.”

They all walked back out and down the hallway, where they passed the healing stations. There was already a girl in one of the rooms, leaning over a mannequin as she practiced her healing.

“Keep up the good work, Myaree!” Katara called as they walked by. The girl—Myaree—smiled and waved as she passed.

“Is she one of your students?” Zuko asked.

“Yeah,” Katara said. “She’s really talented and hardworking.”

As they kept walking down the hallway, another boy was walking the opposite way. When he noticed Zuko’s crimson parka, he glared.

“What is he doing here?” the boy snapped. “This is supposed to be a school for waterbenders.”

“That doesn’t mean people of other nations aren’t welcome in,” Katara said nonchalantly. “After all, the Earth Kingdom advisors helped coordinate and prepare this school so they could come in and watch our work. It’s not strictly Water Tribe.”

“Maybe not, but Fire Nation should be an exception,” the boy said.

Her eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

However, the boy ignored Katara, instead looking behind her to glare at Zuko. “The Fire Nation is the reason we even need schools for healing. Your kind does nothing but cause destruction.”

“Hey, the war’s over, dude,” Sokka snapped. “And this guy helped end it. Open your mind before your mouth.”

“Don’t forget that his people also started it in the first place,” he said. He walked up to Zuko and stabbed his chest with the tip of his index finger. “You don’t belong here.”

Zuko glared at the boy in front of him. Narrowing his eyes, he tried to focus on his breathing, tried to keep his anger in check. He’d gotten better at it over the past couple of years, and he didn’t want to slip up now. Not in front of this boy who already thought so lowly of him.

“Well, you don’t exactly come from here either, Takkatu,” Katara retorted. “This isn’t your home either. You have no room to talk.”

“Well, at least I’m Water Tribe,” the boy—Takkatu—said. “He’s just a filthy ash maker. He probably came here to burn down this village again just like the others.”

Zuko felt his palms heat up.

“What are you going to do, huh?” Takkatu taunted. “Burn down everyone’s homes? Destroy their families? Rape their women? That’s all you’re good for anyway, ash maker.”

Sokka bolted over and grabbed him by the collar of his parka. He pinned him to the wall in one, short motion.

“Not only are you talking to the Fire Lord, but you’re talking to my best friend and Katara’s boyfriend,” Sokka growled. “I’d suggest you shut your mouth before I do something we both regret.” He released the boy, watching disdainfully as he slid down the wall.

“You’re actually defending him?” Takkatu scoffed. He stood up shakily, not letting down his guard. “Didn’t his people kill your mother?”

“Well, he was the only one who truly understood my pain,” Katara snapped. She took a step forward towards him, but Sokka grabbed her shoulder to hold her back. “And he was the only one willing to come with me and help me heal. He’s done more good in his life than you have, so I don’t want to hear it.”

“More good in his life, huh? Is that why he chased the Avatar down for years? And why he hired an assassin when that didn’t work? Oh, and we can’t forget—”

“Takkatu,” Sokka hissed. “Shut the hell up.”

He walked back up towards Zuko, glaring at him with each step closer. “All that because you wanted your daddy to love you. And that didn’t work, did it? That’s why he burned half your face off, right? And why he kicked you out and sent you on an impossible mission? Don’t think we haven’t heard the stories. But after all the horrible things you’ve done, I’d say you deserved it.”

Immediately, Sokka released Katara’s shoulder.

* * *

“What is going on here?” Pakku asked, his voice raised several octaves higher. His sharp eyes slid over the room and the pandemonium in front of him.

“Ask this sleazy whore,” Takkatu spit. His eyes were stony as he scowled at Katara. His entire lower half was frozen in ice, and sharp icicles surrounded his throat like daggers. A goose egg rested on the back of his head from where Sokka had clocked him with his boomerang.

“You’re one to talk, you frozen cum rag,” Katara said.

Pakku sighed. “Master Katara, release my pupil.”

She glared but complied regardless. In a large, sweeping motion, she dragged the ice around him down to the ground, turning it back into the snow it originated from.

“Takkatu, stay here with Sokka,” Pakku said. “I need to speak with Katara. I will get to you in a moment.”

He scowled, but he leaned against the wall anyway. Sokka glared at the other boy, refusing to back down but not wanting to disobey the older man either. Katara, however, nodded and followed Pakku out of the open room.

“And what, pray tell, happened back there?” Pakku asked, leading the other master into the courtyard. “There’s too much anger in your eyes for it to be mere sparring.”

“Takkatu picked a fight,” she said. She stared off into the sky as she spoke. The silence was just awkward enough to be unnerving. “He was saying horrible things about Zuko. Sokka and I weren’t going to accept that.”

Pakku sighed. “Times are changing,” he said. “I am fully aware of that. However, I also understand how hard it can be for people to cope with that change. After all, the Fire Nation—”

“May have done bad things in the past, but they’re repenting for their sins,” Katara interrupted. “I refuse to let my people harbor the same anger any longer. If they’re making the effort to change, then I expect us to do the same.”

“I wish it could be that easy,” he said. He turned to look towards her. The sternness in his eyes had all but vanished, leaving behind a soft, yet sad demeanor. “However, the war has damaged some people beyond repair. It’s destroyed families, taken lives, tore apart villages, and decimated entire cultures. Whatever Takkatu may have said about Fire Lord Zuko…although his actions weren’t right, I can’t say it was without reason.” 

“Oh, and what about when he called me a whore for being with Zuko as well as Aang—the latter of whom I’ve never dated or had romantic feelings towards. Ooh! Or what about when he called Sokka a spineless, submissive cuckold simply because Suki’s a more talented warrior and likely wears the pants? What was the reason behind that, huh?” Katara snapped. “I’m not having anyone who treats others like that in my school. People who say horrible things about others just for the sake of it. The teaching we provide them will ultimately be used for evil otherwise.”

“I understand,” Pakku said softly.

“No, I don’t think you do!” Katara continued. Her voice, full of rage, raised an octave higher. “The Southern Water Tribe has always been a peaceful, welcoming community. Even to outsiders. When Aang first arrived, the women immediately let him play with their children. When our men fought beside our allies during the Day of Black Sun, they didn’t bat an eye that they were different. I’m not accepting stubborn Northerners who can’t seem to get their heads out of their rears! If Takkatu doesn’t like the way we run things here, then he can go back to the North.”

“You have a heart of courage and a fiery passion within you,” Pakku said. “Just like your grandmother. However, these things take time. You must understand that everyone will not be as accepting as your people.”

“But I—”

“I’m not finished,” he continued, raising a hand to silence her. “Yet, I do understand your complaints. And I agree with you. We will stop teaching him immediately. However, I don’t want you fighting any more of our students. That looks really bad for the school.”

“I understand, sir.”

“As for Sokka…well, he’s not a teacher, so I’m not stopping him.” He smiled. “Iroh is a close friend of mine, as is Jeong Jeong and Piandao—all of whom are from the Fire Nation. I don’t disagree with you in the slightest,” he said. “Just choose your battles wisely.”

“I will. But don’t expect me to apologize for fighting him.”

“I’m not,” he said, chuckling to himself. “After that time you goaded me on to fight you after refusing to train you, I stopped expecting you to apologize.”

Katara grinned.

“You have a heart of gold, and combined with your empathy and compassion, I understand your actions completely. However, the others may not. The Northerners, I mean. Just be prepared.”

“Thank you, Pakku,” she said, bowing to him just like she used to after her waterbending lessons.

“Now, I need to talk to Takkatu,” he said. “Hopefully, he and Sokka didn’t murder each other while we were gone.”

“We would’ve heard a scream otherwise,” Katara said as the two turned back around to return inside the school. “I don’t know if it would’ve been Sokka’s or Takkatu’s, but there would’ve been some sort of yelling.”

Pakku nodded. “Those two are some of the loudest fighters,” he agreed.

* * *

Zuko felt a shiver run down his spine. The South Pole was colder tonight than it had been in the past several days, and he still wasn’t used to the temperature difference.

Usually, he would’ve been asleep by now, but the tent felt different tonight. With Sokka and Suki in their own tent now—their new home—and Hakoda and Kanna sleeping in the corner, Zuko couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t like the days of camping together before the comet arrived. Now, he just felt like he was intruding.

He heard Toph shift from the bedroll beside him. Despite the temperature, she slept on top of the roll, that way she could leave her feet out. She had several pelts thrown over her though, enough to make her sweat.

Zuko twisted slightly and buried his face into Katara’s neck, keeping his arms wrapped around her as they spooned. Her skin was so soft, and her hair smelled amazing. Even if he couldn’t sleep, he didn’t mind if it meant he could simply hold her like this.

However, as soon as he moved to better cuddle her, she squirmed. He felt her body shift within his arms and flip over so that she faced him.

“Kat? Did I wake you up?” he whispered.

“No,” she whispered back. “I was already awake.” Her voice didn’t sound sleepy or husky at all. He felt a wave of relief wash over him. He didn’t want to be held responsible if she didn’t get the eight hours of sleep required to allow her to function.

“Why are you scowling?”

“What? I’m not scowling.”

“Yeah, you are. I haven’t seen you this grumpy since the old days.” She pushed his long hair away from his face and stretched up to kiss his forehead. He felt the muscles in his forehead and eyebrows relax immediately. _Huh, I guess I was scowling._

“What happened?” Katara asked.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Earlier. I’m sorry I walked out on you and Sokka,” he whispered. He watched as she knitted her eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t…I don’t know if you noticed though. You two were pretty focused.”

“I noticed afterward. Pakku came and broke it up.” Katara reached up to play with his hair. He relaxed under her touch, even leaning forward to give her a better angle.

“I just couldn’t be in there,” he said. “I knew you and Sokka could handle it just fine without me, and I couldn’t give him one more reason to believe that I’m the monster he already thinks am.”

“No, baby, don’t say that.” She cuddled closer to him and looked up at him with large, sad, blue eyes. He felt his chest constrict.

“It’s true,” he said. “He clearly hates me. If I fought back, I’m only enforcing everything he said about me and my people.”

Katara reached her hand up to stroke his scarred cheek with the back of her fingers. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t let your anger get to you,” she said, “even if it clearly got to me and Sokka.”

Zuko smiled. “You didn’t have to fight him, but I appreciate it.”

“Wait, Sugar Queen got into a fight?”

_Crap_.

“Toph, why are you awake?” Zuko angled his head to look behind him. Toph had kicked the furs off her body and was sitting up staring at the couple.

“I could ask you two the same thing.”

Katara groaned. “Just go back to bed.”

“No, wait, I want to hear this. You got into a fight? And I _missed it?”_

“I mean, it was her and Sokka,” Zuko said awkwardly.

“Oh, that’s even better!”

“Shhh!” the two hissed.

“Keep your voice down,” Katara said. “The others are trying to sleep.”

“Wait, who’d you fight?”

“No one, don’t worry about it.”

“No, I’m serious. Who was it? Your serious step-grandfather? That clumsy warrior a little older than Snoozles? Oh! Oh! What about that one little kid that always—”

“No, it’s none of them,” Katara said.

“Then, who was it?”

“Just a Northerner who said some…unsavory things about Zuko.”

Toph’s eyes fell into a glare. “Was he young, maybe a few years older than you? His voice is kinda breathy? He seems kinda on the smaller side?”

Katara’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah…How did you know?”

“He said I was ‘one of the dirt people’ the other day,” Toph huffed. “What did he say about you, Sparky?”

“That I was an ‘ash-maker,’” he repeated. “And that I deserved all the bad stuff that happened to me.”

She scoffed. “You don’t believe him, do you?”

He didn’t answer.

“Zuko,” Katara said. She buried her hands into his tunic. He stopped sleeping in shirts ever since he left home at thirteen, but it was far too cold in the Southern Water Tribe to not wear one to bed. He wished he hadn’t though; he wanted to feel her hands on his chest instead of his clothes.

“Don’t listen to him,” Toph said. “You don’t think I’m a dirt person, do you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Good. And I don’t think you’re an ash maker. Which means he’s a liar, and you shouldn’t listen to him.”

“Toph’s right,” Katara said. “He’s not worth your time. You were smart not to lose your anger over him and step out of the room instead. It makes you the better man.”

“Wait, so did you win the fight?” Toph asked.

“What?”

“Did you win the fight?” she repeated. “Against the boy who only speaks in slurs.”

“Umm…I guess? Sokka and I had him surrounded by the time Pakku got to us.”

“I can't believe Snoozles was part of it too!” She grinned. “Look at you two! Avenging me and Sparky like the war heroes you are. _Oof!_ Hey!”

“Go to bed!” Aang said, his voice thick with sleep. “Or I’ll throw another pillow at you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this posted yesterday, but that soon turned to two in the morning, and I still wasn't done. I figured it was better to just wait.
> 
> Okay, I need your opinion. Would you want eventual Taang? I'm indifferent to the ship, so I'm not sure what to do. Is that something you would be interested in, especially in the epilogue? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I feel like they're getting longer, but I'm not upset at this. Hopefully, you guys aren't either. :)


	46. Planning for the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang continues with their daily activities as Sokka and Suki leave for their honeymoon.

Had someone told Zuko that he would have three father figures one day instead of one, he would’ve rolled his eyes and ignored the comment. It sounded impossible, especially when he hadn’t even had one father figure when he was younger. His own dad didn’t even like him. Why would anyone else?

But instead, times had changed. He had an uncle that he loved tremendously, one that treated him like his own and showed him unconditional love. He had a stepfather who he could rely on for anything, one he felt safe leaving his sister with, for once.

And now, he had Hakoda, one he’d never imagined in his wildest dreams but that he trusted with his life. Maybe it was their adventure at the Boiling Rock or their time together around the camp his found family had built. Perhaps, it was simply due to dating his daughter. However, he didn’t care what the cause was. He was more than happy to have the man in his life.

“Come on,” Hakoda said. “It’s not too much further until we get back to the village.” He had his elbows bent and his clasped hands tossed over his right shoulder as he dragged the body of a seal-walrus through the snow.

Zuko nodded wordlessly. His fingers were starting to cramp. The arctic hen-hares weren’t heavy, but he’d been holding them for a while.

Hakoda had taken him out hunting that morning, despite Zuko’s insistence that he had no idea what he was doing. During his time as a refugee with his uncle, he never hunted. He attempted to fish a few times, but before getting a job at the tea shop, most of their food was due to begging on the streets or stealing. He’d told Hakoda this, but he simply smiled and promised to teach the younger man instead.

Hunting was much harder than Zuko had wanted to admit. Hakoda and the other men in the tribe made it look easy, but looks were deceiving.

_“Did you want to use a different weapon?” Hakoda had asked. Zuko scowled. He knew the man was trying to hide his chuckle, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. “I mean, the knife is sharper, but it’s also much smaller.”_

_“I at least know how to use the knife,” Zuko said._

_“I can teach you to use the club,” Hakoda offered. “It’s up to you though.”_

_Zuko turned his head to look at the weapon, carved by Bato out of bone. He had no idea how to use it and knew he wasn’t the best student. However, he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Time with Ozai taught him to be aware that questions like this had a correct answer. It was never truly up to Zuko._

_“Um…sure?”_

_Hakoda smiled warmly. “The blunt-force trauma will make the kill much cleaner,” he said. He dropped his satchel on a pile of snow and grabbed the club with his right hand. “Let me show you how to use it.”_

Zuko grunted and carefully switched hands, making sure he didn’t drop any of the animal corpses as he passed them to his other hand.

None of his kills were clean, but they got the job done. However, seeing the effort Zuko put in made Hakoda happy all the same, and the animals he’d managed to hunt down only made it all the sweeter.

“You did really well for your first time,” he said. He turned behind him to look over at Zuko. “When I first took Sokka out to go hunting, he didn’t manage to get any kills in.”

“How old was he though?” Zuko asked. A smirk crawled up onto his face and pulled at his lips.

Hakoda laughed warmly. “Six, but still. You’re a better listener than him at any age. Plus, he’s not exactly the most patient.” He squinted as the village grew visible in the distance. “He hasn’t changed much.”

It was strange hearing him speak this way. When Zuko’s own father would speak of his son’s flaws, his voice was always coated in a layer of shame and disappointment, one as thick as the skin on Zuko’s marred cheek. However, hearing Hakoda talk about his children, there was nothing but love and pride in his voice. It was a hard pill to swallow. Even nowadays—after years of knowing the man, Zuko still felt himself grow wary whenever he heard Hakoda talk about his children, as if he was expecting the same results his father provided.

“What was the first animal he took down?” Zuko asked.

“It was a lemming-mouse,” he said. “Despite its small size, he was so proud of himself.” As Zuko listened to his voice, he could tell that Sokka wasn’t the only proud one. “My mom skinned it for him, and he treasured its pelt.” He grinned at the memory. “I was so proud of him.”

 _There it is._

“He’s certainly gotten better at it over time,” Hakoda continued. “We’ve taken down bears, whales, seals. It took a little while to get over the fear of the larger animals, but when he did, he was unstoppable.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t hunt more when traveling the world,” Zuko said.

“I think it probably had something to do with Aang,” he said. “I don’t think he would’ve been too keen on seeing Sokka and Katara killing and skinning animals that were breathing right in front of his eyes.”

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

As the two trudged through the snow and rounded back to the village, the sun began to creep over the horizon a little further. Zuko shivered as the wind whipped through the air, and the two men hurried towards their tent.

After leaving the animals outside the tent before walking in themselves, Hakoda immediately began stripping off his parka and shoes. Zuko felt his muscles tense immediately, and he wanted to throw up at the implication.

He hated that Ozai screwed him up this badly. That a man couldn’t take off a coat in his own home without Zuko freezing up in fear. He hated that even though Hakoda was trustworthy and honorable, he still felt his chest tighten in anxiety. He hated it.

He tried to swallow the nausea back, but it made his head spin. Gripping the sleeves of his own parka, he tried to focus on the texture of the thick wool. _Five things you can feel._

“Are you okay, son?” Hakoda asked. His blue eyes were full of concern and comfort. It reminded him of Iroh.

“Yeah, I, uh, I’m just…yeah. I’m sorry,” Zuko stumbled.

Hakoda furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn’t say anything. Zuko wondered if he knew.

Luckily, he didn’t pressure the younger man to take off his coat or shoes. Instead, he sat down on the pelts in the corner and wiped his brow.

“Mom should be coming soon with Katara,” he said. “They’ll skin them before dinner.”

Zuko nodded. “Okay, that sounds okay.”

Hakoda grabbed a cloth from a bucket of water in the corner. Rubbing the cloth with soap made from lye, he began wiping off the weapons with it. Meanwhile, Zuko sent a spark to the firepit. The flames warmed the tent, and Hakoda sighed in relief.

The flap of the tent was pushed open, and Sokka ducked inside. “Oh, you two are back early.” He knelt down next to Zuko and started unlacing his boots. “How did your hunting trip go?”

“It certainly went better than your first one,” Hakoda said with a smile. “Did you see all the game outside the tent?”

“Yeah, six arctic hen-hares and a seal-walrus? That’s a pretty good afternoon.” He pulled his boots off and flung them to the corner. “We’ll be eating well tonight.”

“Zuko was responsible for three of the arctic hen-hares,” Hakoda said. His voice was full of the same pride he had when speaking about his son earlier.

“Oh, wow, that’s not bad at all for your first time,” Sokka said, his eyebrows raised to his hairline.

“I know,” Hakoda agreed. He grinned and elbowed his son’s ribcage. “Much better than you were.”

“As if there was competition,” Sokka said with a laugh.

“You’ll make a good husband one day if you keep that up,” Hakoda said. The words made Zuko pause, and he looked at him with wide eyes. When the chief looked at his surprise, he asked, “What? Men have to hunt to take care of their families.” He motioned outside. “You brought home three arctic hen-hares on your first-ever hunting trip. Keep that up, and you’ll be fine.”

Zuko’s golden eyes were still wide in shock. His mind went blank, and he didn’t know what to say. Even if he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to speak anyway.

When Hakoda noticed the reaction on his face hadn’t faded, he laughed. “Oh, relax. I know it’s coming sooner rather than later. There’s no point in trying to hide it.”

“We…um, we haven’t actually talked much about it,” Zuko stammered.

“Not yet, but you will, I’m sure,” he said. He rubbed his hands together before facing his palms to the fire Zuko created. “I don’t know how it works in the Fire Nation, but if there comes a time when you do eventually propose to Katara, then you have my blessing.”

“Mine too,” Sokka added. “Not that it matters. Let’s be honest, at the end of the day, Katara will do what she wants.”

Hakoda smiled. “She’s always been so strong and willful. But she’ll make the right decision.” He turned his gaze away from Sokka and towards Zuko instead. “She already has.”

Zuko felt his chest ache with a warmness that barely muddled his pounding heart. “Thank you, sir.”

“Call me ‘Hakoda,’” he said as he laughed. “I always tell you that you don’t need to call me that.”

He hadn’t expected three father figures. He had his uncle, his stepdad, but maybe, he’d have a father-in-law too.

* * *

“We’ll see you in a few weeks,” Sokka said. His arm was wrapped around Suki’s waist, holding her close to him. “We’ll be heading to the Fire Nation immediately after the honeymoon.”

“I still can’t believe you’re going to Gaoling,” Toph snorted. “Out of all the places in the world to vacation too.”

“I’m sure it’ll be nice,” Suki said. “And we didn’t want another beach. Ember Island is nice and all, but it’s become kind of…I don’t know. We always go there. We want somewhere special.”

“Ah, yeah, so you chose Gaoling. Very special. Yup. Suuuper unique.”

“Oh, be quiet, Toph,” Katara said. “Let them vacation where they want to.” Toph huffed, but Katara ignored her as she approached her sister-in-law. “Be safe,” she said, hugging her.

“On the trip or during se—”

Zuko elbowed Toph to shut her up, but she immediately shoved him back. He ruffled her hair as if she were a child.

“We’ll write to you as soon as we arrive,” Suki promised. “Let you know that we got there safely.”

Sokka pulled Zuko into a hug of their own. “Take care of Katara while I’m gone, will ya?”

“It’ll be the other way around,” Zuko said with a smile. He patted the other man’s shoulder as they broke their hug.

“And you—don’t go on any fun adventures without me!” Sokka said as he hugged Aang.

“No promises!”

Katara gave her brother one last hug before the newlyweds made their way up to the ship.

“Hopefully, she doesn’t get sick of him in these next few weeks,” Katara muttered.

Zuko shrugged. “She’s made it this long.”

“If we all made it during our time traveling together, they should be fine,” Aang said. “Plus, they spent a lot of time together these past several months.”

“Yeah, if she were going to get sick of him, she would’ve done it a while ago,” Toph said.

As the four of them waved and watched the boat depart, Katara smiled.

“I’m so happy for them.”

* * *

The wind was stronger that night than it was in the previous ones. Even despite the shelter, Zuko still shivered at the mere sound. He cuddled closer to Katara, nuzzling his nose in her hair.

He wondered how the others managed to sleep in the weather, but he figured they were simply used to it. Either way, he wasn’t complaining.

Katara, the only other person awake, wriggled slightly, dragging her legs up to intertwine them with his. She pressed her face against the crook of his neck and inhaled softly. He immediately pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin. He wrapped his arms closer around her, drawing her nearer to him. “I love you so much, more and more every day.”

“I love you too,” she whispered back. He felt her smile against his neck before she lifted her head up. She pressed her lips against his, and he immediately sighed into her touch. Gently letting his fingers run over the small of her back, he felt her deepen the kiss. Her lips were always so soft, warmer than he could’ve imagined, and so welcoming. His own lips tingled at the sensation, parting slightly to allow her tongue to brush his. It felt like sparks between them. They traveled from his lips, down his spine, and to each of his fingertips. His nerves felt electrified—strong as lightning but a way better feeling. 

As she pressed herself closer to him, her fingers slid underneath the hem of his tunic. They brushed his sternum, dancing over the scar from Azula’s lightning. He felt her eyelashes on his cheekbone, and her warm bare skin on his, and her lips against his, and her tastebuds as their tongues brushed together, and everything just felt so perfect and satisfying and wonderful.

He didn’t know how long they kissed until they finally separated, but the way her sapphire eyes were flooded with love and desire made him want to kiss her again, despite his breathlessness.

She laid her head down against his shoulder, their legs still wrapped together. His hand rubbed circles into her lower back. He could hear her whispering, but he couldn’t make out any of the words.

“Huh?”

She giggled and kissed his clavicle before looking up at him. Her sapphire eyes were wide.

_Gorgeous._

“I asked you about the future,” she said. Her eyelashes brushed against his collarbone, and he felt his mind fog over. “We’re going back to the Fire Nation next week,” she said. “In one of your letters, you told me that your Fire Sages are pressuring you to give them an heir in case something happens.” Zuko nodded. “Is that…will that change anything between us?”

“No,” he said. He felt concern grow in his eyes. “Why would that change anything?”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to get married to me or start having children just to get them off your back.” Katara let her fingertips brush over his skin, and he shivered under the contact. However, he could tell it was a distraction. Her eyes were full of worry. “But I also don’t want the Fire Sages to try to marry you to a different woman because I’m not giving you any kids. At least…not yet.”

Zuko felt his chest tighten, and he immediately held her even tighter. “No, I don’t want you to think like that,” he whispered. He littered her face with kisses, trying to pull her away from her nervousness. “I’m not going to leave you.” A kiss to her forehead. “Or pressure you.” To her temple. “Or force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” To her cheek. “Or anything like that.” To her nose. “And if the Fire Sages really believe that they can force me to marry another woman just for the sake of giving them an heir, they’ve got another thing coming.”

As he rubbed soothing circles into her skin, he felt her relax under his touch. “I love you too much to give you up. And I’m not letting them do anything like that to our relationship. I promise.”

Katara smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. It wasn’t like the first one, but rather, a sweet, chaste kiss. However, it lit up his senses regardless.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “It’s been eating me up for a while, and I told Suki, but she said there was nothing to worry about. I…I think I just needed to hear you say it.”

Zuko tucked a loose curl behind Katara’s ear. “You know you can come talk to me about anything.” He kissed her temple softly. “If I’m getting married to you, I’d be doing it out of love, not obligation.”

“That would be nice,” she whispered. “I want you in my future “I really, really do.”

He kissed her forehead before relaxing back into the bedroll. “Me too.”

* * *

_Your Highness, King Kuei of the Earth Kingdom,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to update you on the state of my nephew._

_He has been doing much better since arriving at the Southern Water Tribe. He is livelier and more open regarding his emotions and mental stability. Despite his worries about returning, he has grown close to several members of the tribe. They see his past as just that—the past, and they treat him no differently than anyone else. It has granted him great peace._

_Fortunately, he will be returning to the Fire Nation with two of his friends, as well as Katara and me. The newlyweds, for whom we have traveled to the Southern Water Tribe, will be returning a few weeks after. Although Zuko has mentioned to me that he is nervous about your departure, he is hopeful that he will be okay._

_I wanted to thank you once more for helping my family during this most desperate time. Having you there to guide him has helped more than words can say. Although his friends and I tried to be there for him, we simply did not have the experience in that situation that only you could provide. I, as well as the other members of the self-proclaimed ‘Team Avatar,’ are incredibly grateful for your efforts in healing him._

_I will be returning to the Fire Nation shortly after Zuko and his friends, but in case you leave before I arrive, I wanted to take the moment to thank you personally. You have been a wonderful advisor to my nephew._

_Sincerely,_

_Iroh of the Fire Nation_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Hakoda and Zuko being really close after the initial awkwardness. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. :)
> 
> I'll be going back to college this Saturday, so I'm not sure if my updating patterns will be the same or not. I just wanted to give you all a warning though, just in case.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you again for all the comments, kudos, and bookmarks! You guys are amazing! :)


	47. Plans and Penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko returns to the idea of confronting Ozai, and the Gaang goes penguin-sledding.

The fire was warm inside the tent. The flap in the roof was pulled back, allowing the smoke to billow out of the small hole.

The only people in the tent were Katara and Zuko, both of them sitting on the pelts that they dragged closer to the flames.

Katara knelt down on the furs as she sat on her ankles, and Zuko was cross-legged in front of her. Her fingers were enveloped in his hair as she pulled different strands gently. He was still, simply enjoying the sensation of her fingers. He always loved when she played with his hair.

The silence between them was comfortable. Neither of them felt the need to break it due to mindless chatter. They simply basked in its soothing nature.

“Your hair is so long now,” Katara said. Her fingers moved quickly, crossing each strand over the others. “It’s almost as long as mine.”

He shrugged. “It grows pretty fast.”

“I can tell.” She smiled and kissed the bare skin between his neck and shoulder. “It just means it’s easier to style. What do you think your council members would say if you came back with Water Tribe braids?”

“They’d probably make me take it out immediately,” he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. “Not that I would, but they’d try and then complain when I didn’t.”

“I’d like to see that.”

As she got closer to the tips of his hair, she grabbed a spare ribbon from beside her. It was pale blue, but she didn’t think he would mind too much. She tied his hair with the strip of fabric before moving up to mess with the strands she left near his face.

“Can I ask you something random?” he asked.

“Yeah. What is it?” She leaned over and pulled a small bowl closer to her. It was full of beads of different shapes, sizes, and colors. She grabbed two matching whalebone beads, both of which had blue patterns painted on them.

“I’ve given it some thought, and I…um, I think I want to confront my father.”

Katara’s fingers stilled. She almost dropped the bead on the ground, but she managed to catch herself at the last second.

“Oh, um…are you sure?” She blinked a few times before regaining her composure.

“I’m not, to be honest,” he admitted. “But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t.”

“You don’t have to do anything immediately,” she said. She grabbed one of the beads and slid it up the hair until it reached his scalp. “You can take as much time as you need.”

“I know I need to do something,” he said. Katara looked down to see Zuko’s hands shaking slightly as she spoke. She wanted to reach out and grab one. “The more I thought about it, the more I knew I need to.”

“You can give it some time though,” she said. She tried to keep her voice light, gentle. She knew it was a tough conversation for him, and she didn’t want to push him. “If you don’t feel comfortable confronting him just yet, I don’t want you to feel obligated to. It’s not like he’s going anywhere.”

Zuko was silent for a few seconds. Katara took the other bead and slid it onto the other loose strand of hair. Then, she pulled the strands back, letting them bow slightly before pushing them into the bun she made just above the braid.

“Do you think I should wait to face him?” he asked. His voice was quiet, as if he were unsure of himself. Katara wanted to hug his anxieties away. She leaned towards him and wrapped her arms around him. His muscles were stiff under her touch, but he still sank into her embrace.

“I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable,” she said. “If you want to do this now, then I’ll stand with you. If you need to wait a few years, that’s fine too. I’ll be there for you all the same, and I know the others will too.”

Zuko nodded against her neck, and she kissed his forehead.

“It’d still be a week or two though,” he said. “Until we get back to the Fire Nation. I don’t think I’d want to do it immediately after returning though.”

“Have you talked to Uncle Iroh about this yet?”

“No, not yet. I wanted your opinion on it first.” He tilted his head slightly to press his face deeper into the crook of her neck. She felt her heart pound.

_Why is he so cute?_

“I was going to talk to him after I asked you.”

“I think it’s good for you to face him,” she said. “From the looks of it, you’re in a better place than you were several months back, and I’m really proud of you. But I also don’t want you to rush into anything either. I don’t want you to face him even though you’re not ready and then backtrack completely on all the progress you made.”

Zuko nodded again. His face was twisted into an expression she knew quite well—not quite a scowl and not quite a frown. He looked lost.

“Hey,” she said, her voice light, “whatever you choose, I’ll be with you. It’s going to work out in the end. Just talk to your uncle and King Kuei. Get their opinions and see what you should do.”

“Alright, I will.”

“Wanna see something nice?” she asked, trying to cheer him up. He pulled away from her to look into her eyes. She smiled. “Ta-da!” She pulled a small mirror out of her satchel in the corner and handed it to Zuko. As he looked at his reflection, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I think you look wonderful with hair loopies. And I’m sure the Fire Sages would agree wholeheartedly.”

Zuko laughed, and the way the sound flooded through the tent made Katara’s heart leap. It was warm as sunshine and strong like bells. It was beautiful. She wished he laughed more often.

“They would never appreciate it anywhere as much as you,” he said. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her cheek.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“I love it.” He kissed her nose. “I love you.”

She closed her eyes as she leaned her forehead against his. “I love you too.”

* * *

It felt weird walking into the school, especially after the fight with the Northerner. However, Zuko tried to push the memory out of his mind. He was here to see Katara, not Takkatu.

He could hear grunts coming from the younger students, those of whom were learning to fight with Pakku. Their water whips were shaky, their icicle knives nowhere as sharp as Katara’s. Yet, it was interesting to watch regardless.

As he walked to the healing stations, he heard the soft, gentle voice of Katara. He leaned on the doorframe to watch her work.

“You want to focus on the tenser parts,” she said. “Depending on the severity of the injury, you can sometimes feel the chi twisted up. It can be easy to spot or really difficult, depending on the wound and the person.”

She twisted her hands over the mannequin in circular movements and helped her two students do the same. Her movements were graceful as she guided her students, and her words were kind as she encouraged them.

He was so caught up in her beauty that he barely noticed the woman in the corner, one bundled in a thick, green parka. She was taking notes as she listened to the lesson. _She must be from the Earth Kingdom to help make that new healing technology._

However, his attention on the woman didn’t last long, and he immediately went back to focusing on his girlfriend. Her lips were parted slightly in concentration, and her hair loopies framed her face beautifully. Her sapphire eyes—blue as the oceans at mid-day—were glued to her students.

All he could feel was overwhelming love and pride for the woman in front of him.

Some days, it was hard to remember that the strong, graceful, compassionate woman was his. That she loved him back, despite his flaws and insecurities. It didn’t matter that his family was screwed-up, that he was constantly stressed due to running an entire nation, that some days he felt like he couldn’t make up for his sins, no matter how hard he tried. None of that mattered to her because she loved him for him. Sometimes, that knowledge was the only thing keeping him sane.

As he continued watching her work, the conversation between him, Hakoda, and Sokka appeared at the front of his mind. The more he thought about it, the more he imagined taking Katara as his wife. Waking up to her every morning for the rest of his life. Relying on each other during the best and the worst of times. He knew she would be a beautiful bride.

He certainly wouldn’t mind marrying her. He always thought the likelihood of marrying for love was low, but now, it seemed possible. The Fire Sages knew there would be benefits to marrying someone of a different nation, strengthening the idea of the peace they fought so hard to create. Sure, the council members would throw a tantrum, but Zuko couldn’t imagine a better Fire Lady. Katara’s empathy and compassion stretched to people of all nations, and he knew that same love would reach his own people.

He smiled to himself. _Maybe one day._

* * *

The smell of jasmine tea wafted through the air, and the steam from the water rose with it. The sound of the tea being poured was soothing.

“They don’t have many options down here,” Iroh said. He handed Zuko a cup full of tea before pouring one for himself. “Perhaps, we should send more tea leaves to them when we return to the Fire Nation.”

“I don’t know if they’ll appreciate that as much as you will, Uncle.” Zuko looked at the cup. It felt warm against his fingertips, a welcome sensation after being in the ice and snow all day.

Iroh chuckled. “You may be right. But it would still be thoughtful regardless.”

As the two sipped their drinks, Zuko looked at his uncle from over the rim of his cup. “Can I ask you something?” Iroh made a grunt, which Zuko took as a ‘go ahead.’ “If I were to confront Father about everything that’s happened, what would you say?”

Zuko watched as Iroh’s eyes grew wide. He couldn’t tell if it was shock or concern, but even as the older man put the cup down, his emotions were hard to register.

“I see you’ve given it some thought,” he said.

“I have,” Zuko confirmed. He ran his fingertip along the rim of the cup. “And I do want to talk to him about it.”

“Just talk?”

“Well, no, but…I don’t know. I don’t have much of a plan yet.”

“You never really have a plan. You always rush right into these things before thinking them through.”

“This is different.” Zuko put down his own cup and leaned back against the tent. “He’s still dangerous, even without his bending.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “And honestly, I’m really scared to see him again.”

Iroh furrowed his eyebrows, but he kept watching his nephew, waiting for him to continue.

“I think that’s part of the reason why I’m not rushing into anything,” he continued, his eyes still shut. “I’m using my lack of a plan as an excuse to not see him.”

“No one says you have to see him.”

“No, I know that I need to.” He opened his eyes and lowered his head to look at his uncle. “It’ll keep eating me up until I do.”

Iroh nodded. “I understand.”

“What do you think I should do?” Zuko asked.

“I think you need to take it slow,” he said. “Really think about if this is what you want to do, especially right now.” He grabbed his cup and took a sip of his tea before continuing. “You know how the people of the Fire Nation are when it comes to sexual assault.” He spoke slowly, cautiously. “I think you need to change that before making any hasty decisions.”

“How am I supposed to change their opinions?”

“You can’t, at least not completely. But you can strengthen the impact it’ll make on Ozai. Perhaps, it will even help others come forward.” He reached forward to rest a hand on his shoulder. “It takes only takes one spark to set a forest ablaze.”

Zuko nodded, even though he had no idea what Iroh was talking about.

“Have you talked to anyone else about this?” Iroh asked.

“Just Katara.”

“Good. I would also talk to King Kuei about this as well and get his opinion on the matter.”

“I will, Uncle.”

“Whatever you choose to do, I’m proud of you.” Iroh gave his nephew a kind smile, warmer than the tea in their hands. “You’ve come a long way since your youth, and I am so proud of what you’ve accomplished.” He pulled Zuko into a hug, wrapping his arms around the younger man.

“Thank you,” Zuko whispered, his voice muffled in Iroh’s tunic. “Thank you for believing in me.”

Iroh smiled and brought a hand up to the back of his nephew’s head, carding his fingers into his hair.

“Always.”

* * *

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Zuko asked.

“Why?” Aang turned his head. “Do you think we shouldn’t do this without Sokka?”

Toph shrugged. “He did say no adventures.”

“No, I think we shouldn’t be doing this at all,” Zuko said. He peered down the cliff. “Don’t you think this is dangerous?”

Katara bust out laughing, and Aang immediately joined in. Zuko scowled as he glared at them. “What’s so funny?”

“You went into an Agni Kai against your father, were banished for three years, were homeless and starving during that time, had Ozai shoot lightning at you, fought countless battles against your sister…and riding a penguin is what scares you? Zuko, children do this.”

“Well, I’m not a child.”

“Exactly,” Aang said. “It should be easier for you than them, and they still do it.”

“Oh, come on,” Katara said. She walked over to Zuko and rested her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t be pouty.”

“I’m not pouty.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Come on, Zuko,” Aang chirped. “It’ll be fun!”

“I’m with Sparky,” Toph said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to see that well on this thing. The snow is already hard to see through. It’ll only be worse if I’m zooming on a penguin.

“You might surprise yourself,” Aang said. “Come on! Let’s go catch some penguins!”

“I can’t believe this,” Zuko grumbled. He begrudgingly followed the other three to a crowd of penguins, all waddling around aimlessly.

Katara reached into a bag and brought out a small fish, one she must’ve caught that morning. The penguins immediately noticed, and they all rushed towards her. Distracted, they didn’t notice as Aang climbed on one’s back, and Katara followed suit.

“It’s easy!” Katara said. “Just hop on!”

“Whatever you say,” Toph said. She grabbed the one closest to her, climbing onto it cautiously. She dug her feet into its side and her hands into its shoulders.

“Come on, Sifu Hotman! You’re the only one left!”

“Can I back out now?”

“No! Come on!”

“Sparky, if I’ve got to do this, so do you.”

Zuko groaned and sat on one of the penguins. The blubbery animal didn’t seem to care too much.

“The last one down has to do the laundry until we get back to the Fire Nation!” Aang said.

“That’s not fair,” Katara said. “Zuko and I are going to have to do it anyway.”

“Then, you’d better win,” Toph teased.

“On your mark, get set, GO!”

As Aang gave the call, the four penguins immediately slid down the cliff. He and Katara laughed wildly, hooting and hollering as they sped down the ice.

“How do I get off this thing?!” Zuko squawked. He gripped the scruff of the penguin’s neck until his knuckles turned white underneath his mittens.

“You don’t!” Katara laughed. “Wooooo!”

“I can’t see a thing!” Toph yelled. “It’s going too fast, and the snow’s too blurry!”

“That’s okay! We can’t see much either!” Aang said. “Everything’s white!”

Zuko shrieked as the penguins entered a tunnel. Everything grew dark, and the ice felt colder than ever. As the tunnel came to an end, the exit was blocked off, instead covered by a thick pile of snow. He felt his grip on the penguin loosen underneath his mittens, and he screamed, scrambling to hold on.

“Woooo! Yeah!” Aang exclaimed. His penguin slid ahead of the others and forced its way through the pile of snow. The frozen water exploded everywhere, and the other three penguins followed after.

“This is so much fun!” Katara yelled.

“I still can’t see!”

“Savor it!” Aang said, his smile wide.

Zuko closed his eyes, trying to push down his fear. He hugged the penguin closer to him and prayed to the spirits that it was almost over.

It didn’t take too long for the icy slope to come to an end. The penguins slowed down and allowed their riders to hop off before waddling away.

“That was so much fun!” Katara said.

“I know!” Aang agreed. “That was even better than the first time we went penguin-sledding together!”

Zuko’s knees shook as he stepped off. His legs felt weak, felt like they were made of gelatin.

“This would be so much better in the Earth Kingdom, where I’d be able to see,” Toph griped.

Aang grinned. “I’m sure we can find an animal to ride next time we’re there.”

“Are you okay?” Katara asked, turning to Zuko with a smile.

“I want to throw up.”

Aang laughed. “Come on, Sifu Hotman, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“If it makes you feel better, Sparky, I want to throw up too.”

“It’s part of the experience,” Katara said. She held Zuko’s shaking hand and squeezed it gently. “You would’ve regretted not going. I know you would’ve. Plus, now you can say you did it!”

“Oh, wow, lucky me.”

“Wanna go again?” Aang asked. Katara immediately grinned and turned her eyes towards Zuko.

“No!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to put this chapter out last night, but that didn't happen. Oops! Better late than never?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) Thank you again for all the kudos and comments! They always make my day!


	48. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang heads back to the Fire Nation after a couple of weeks in the Southern Water Tribe.

“We’ll be back in a few months,” Katara said. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Kanna, her face buried in her grandmother’s shoulder.

“Come back safe,” Kanna said. “And write to me often! You know how I love your letters.”

“I will, Gran Gran.” Katara turned to Hakoda, and he immediately scooped her up into a hug.

“I’m going to miss you, Snowflake,” he said. He placed a large, heavy hand on the back of her head and cradled her. “The village always seemed bleaker without you around.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” she said. “I love you guys.”

Kanna turned to Zuko. “Take care of her,” she said. Her eyes held a softness to them, and she hugged him tightly as well.

He nodded. “I will.” She smiled at him as she pulled away.

“Is General Iroh riding on Appa or is he taking the ship?” Hakoda asked.

“He’ll be on the ship again,” Aang called from the bison’s saddle. He tucked his glider into the pile of bags and other possessions before airbending his way down to the others. “He’ll arrive shortly after us, just like before.”

“Send a messenger hawk when you arrive in the Fire Nation,” he said. “I want to make sure you’re all safe. Especially you, Zuko. No more assassination attempts on our watch. We can't have you freaking out Katara again.”

Zuko grinned. “I’ll try, but no promises.” He ignored the annoyed look on Katara’s face, one obviously put up to disguise her anxieties about the situation.

“We’ll see you soon, Old Man!” Toph called. She gave him a quick hug before hurrying to Appa. “I can’t wait to get back to real ground!”

Hakoda smiled. “I think you’re the happiest one to leave.”

Toph shrugged. “Seeing is always nice. And it’s freezing here.”

“I understand that.” He waved as the four loaded themselves up onto the sky bison’s saddle. “Have a good flight!”

“Goodbye!” Kanna added.

“I’ll miss you!” Katara called. She waved to her family and to the other tribe members that had gathered around to watch them leave.

“Appa, yip yip!” Aang said. Appa grunted, and they immediately took off.

“The ships are already starting to head off,” Zuko said. He pointed to the fleet underneath them, and Katara peered down to look at them.

“I guess they’re trying to stay as close to us as possible,” she said with a shrug. As she leaned back into the saddle, she pressed her arm against Zuko’s, cuddling into him.

“They’re also from the Fire Nation,” Toph said. “They’re probably not used to these temperatures and can’t wait to get back home.” She rubbed her clothed arms. “I know I am!”

“We know,” Aang said. He turned around to look at his friends. A large grin was painted on his face. “You’ve been complaining about the cold since we arrived.”

“Well, maybe if I could wear more than just these thin socks, we wouldn’t have this issue! Sorry to burst your bubble, but snow and ice are actually really cold.”

“At least you can see through the socks,” Zuko said. “Even if it is just a little bit.”

“I’m just glad to finally be heading back.” She propped her hands up behind her head and leaned back against the side of the saddle. “I missed the warmth.”

“And the humidity?” Katara said. “I can already feel my hair frizzing from here.”

“Still better than cold feet.”

As the four flew above the frosty seas, they watched as the clouds floated mindlessly around them. The cerulean of the sky and the azure of the sea blended softly into each other, and the large chunks of ice throughout the waters made the ocean seem to glimmer. It was beautiful.

Katara rested her cheek against her fist. The Fire Nation was lovely—beautiful in different ways than the Southern Water Tribe. However, there was something about her home that just warmed her heart despite its icy temperature. She knew she would miss it.

Turning to look towards the others, she felt her worries settle, fading from view. As much as she loved the South Pole, she knew she wouldn’t have to worry about homesickness.

After all, home was wherever her friends were.

* * *

“I spy with my little eye…something…blue!”

“The sky.”

“Wow! Right again! Okay, okay...I spy with my little eye something…dark blue!”

“The water.”

“Whoa! You’re good at this game!”

“Aang, you’ve literally been picking the same two objects for the past ten minutes,” Zuko snapped.

“Well, there’s not many choices up here,” Aang said. “We haven’t seen land in over an hour. And besides, you’re not even playing, so stop spoiling the game!”

“Let’s play something else,” Katara said. “Toph couldn’t really play the last game, and Zuko didn’t want to. Plus, he’s right. There’s not that many options.”

“Well, what would you rather play instead?” he asked. He turned around to look at them, but he still kept his hands firmly on the reins.

“Uhh…we can play truth or dare?”

Toph snorted. “Not much you can dare someone to do when we’re up in the air on a small saddle, Sweetness.”

“We don’t have to play anything,” Zuko said. “We can just…I don’t know…tell stories?”

Toph burst out laughing. “Why did you say it like that? You’re so awkward.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Katara said. “I think it’s cute.”

Toph gagged. “Gross. PDA.”

“We’re not even doing anything!”

“I like the idea of telling stories,” Aang chirped. “Katara, do you want to start?”

“Sure, I can.” She sat quietly for a few seconds, pondering what to talk about. After a moment or two, she turned to Toph. “What should I talk about?”

“Whatever you want,” Aang said. “Maybe your happiest childhood memory?”

“Okay, I can do that. Ummm, okay, I’ve got one!” Katara smiled, and her eyes grew foggy with nostalgia. “When I was younger—maybe six or seven, an Earth Kingdom ship stopped at the dock to trade with us. There was a woman there that had made a bunch of different types of food to sell, and one of them was this little dessert that was kind of like mochi, but it had a thick jelly filling. All of the kids loved them, and after they departed, we still craved them. One day, Sokka and I tried to make them. However, we didn’t have any of the right ingredients or any baking knowledge whatsoever, so they were basically balls of snow with smushed berries shoved inside. They weren’t good at all.

“Instead of eating them, all of the kids in the village used them in a snowball fight. It was so messy with the berries, but it was so fun! We just kept pelting each other until our parkas were stained with the juices. It was the best day I’d had in a while.”

“That sounds like so much fun!” Aang said. “Why didn’t we have a snowball fight when we were in the Southern Water Tribe?”

“Probably because Sugar Queen would win immediately,” Toph said, grinning to herself. “Master waterbender and all.”

“What about you, Toph?” Katara said. “What was one of your best childhood memories?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly have a lot of freedom when I was a kid,” she said. “I guess meeting the badgermoles and learning to earthbend with them was pretty great.”

“Any details?” Aang asked.

She shrugged. “Eh. I was young and couldn’t see that well. It’s not exactly the most unforgettable memory I have.” She smiled. “My first Earth Rumble was pretty great too. Those chumps were shocked to be beaten by a little, blind girl. I wish I could’ve seen their faces!”

“Aang?” Katara asked.

“Oh, me? I think…” He thought for a few seconds before his eyes suddenly lit up. “I think maybe one of my best memories is learning how to make fruit pies with Monk Gyatso. We spent hours perfecting them. He showed me how to use airbending to make them fluffy, and I got to pipe the filling and everything!” He smiled, lost in thought. “I was so proud of the pies we made, but the best part was the end. He told me to watch closely, and before I knew it, he airbended the pies straight at the members in the Council of Elders.” Aang stopped his story to laugh at the memory. “I guess our stories are pretty similar, aren’t they, Katara?”

“Throwing food at others is the best,” she agreed. “It makes for a great memory!”

“We’ve never had a real food fight,” Toph said. “Every time we throw food, it’s always to Momo.” She leaned over and rubbed the lemur’s head, who chirped happily at the sensation.

“Hey, he catches it, doesn’t he?” Aang asked.

“What about you, Zuko?” Katara said. “Do you have any really good childhood memories?”

“Especially about making food and throwing it at others?” Aang added.

“Not that I know of off the top of my head,” Zuko said. “My father would’ve skinned me alive if I threw food around the palace though. But I always did like sitting with my mom at the turtleduck pond. That would probably be my choice. Or maybe the days spent at Ember Island.”

“Days at the beach with Azula,” Toph said. “Very fun, I’m sure.”

“She wasn’t as bad when we were younger. We used to act like normal siblings at one point.”

“How is she doing, by the way?” Aang asked.

“Not great,” Zuko admitted. “I saw her a few weeks before you arrived. She’s still hallucinating, and she refuses to talk to Mom. It’s really hard to watch.” He rested his head on Katara’s, and she lifted her hand up to rub his back. “I have hope that she’ll heal though. It might just take a little while.”

“Does she talk about Ozai ever?” Toph asked.

“Not really. Mainly Mom. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“We just need to give her time,” Katara said. “I’m sure in a few years, she’ll be okay.”

“I hope so,” Zuko said. “I miss her, in a weird, convoluted kind of way.”

“She’s your sister,” Aang said. “I’m sure it’s normal.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Zuko said. He looked up from his lap and smiled at the others. “Any other funny stories from your childhood?”

“Oh! I’ve got one!” Aang said. His attitude immediately grew chipper, like flicking a switch. “You need to hear about the one time I sent one of the monks soaring through the sky strapped to a kite!”

* * *

“Ahh!” Toph sighed exaggeratedly as she flopped backward onto Zuko’s bed. “We’re finally back!”

“It’s been a long flight,” Katara said. She pulled her braid out and shook her hair out, letting the curls rest on her shoulders and back. “That’s for sure.”

“I’m just glad it’s warm here,” Toph said, “and that I can see clearly again.”

“I know Appa likes the barn too,” Aang added. “There’s always a lot of hay for him there.”

“Can I…can I talk to you guys about something really quickly?” Zuko asked. His eyes darted towards the door, making sure it was closed.

Aang leaned forward. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“It’s about my father,” he said. He made sure to keep his voice low in case one of the guards outside his door overheard.

Toph immediately leaned up. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, I just…” He took a breath. Katara rested her hand on his thigh and squeezed him gently to ground him. Zuko turned his head and smiled at her. “I’ve given it some thought, and I do want him to face justice.”

Toph’s concerned face immediately transformed into a wide smile. “Yeah, there we go, Sparky!”

“Shh! Keep your voice down!” Zuko hushed. “No one else knows yet except for you guys and Uncle Iroh.”

“Do you not want anyone in the palace to know?” Aang asked.

Zuko shook his head. “Not unless I really need them to.”

“So what changed your mind?” Toph asked.

“I just…I don’t know. I don’t want to wait too long and reopen any old wounds up.” Toph nodded, and Zuko continued. “I already told Katara, and we’ve talked about it a little bit. Not much though.”

“How do you feel about this?” Aang asked, turning his head to the girl beside him.

“If Zuko thinks this is the right thing to do, I’m with him,” she said. “I want him to have closure. If he thinks this is the way to get it, then I’ll support him.”

“I’m with you too, Sparky!” Toph said, a smile pulling at her cheeks.

“Aang?” Zuko asked. “How do you feel about it? I know you’ve never been fond of revenge.”

He shook his head. “This is different,” he said. “I don’t really understand your situation at all, but I…you can do whatever you need to do.” His voice was quiet. “I’m not going to get upset at you for that.”

“But when Katara and I—”

“Zuko, it’s okay,” Aang interrupted. “Really, it is.”

“You don’t plan on killing him though, right?” Toph said.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Okay, good,” Toph said. “That’s too easy.”

“We’re going to change the laws against rape, sodomy, sexual assault…things like that,” Katara said. “If we worsen the punishment and put more weight on it, we’re hoping that can change society’s view of the crimes a little more.”

“That was one of the reasons why I refused to tell anyone for so long,” Zuko said, his voice still low. “People blame you instead.”

“But if we fix and update the laws and penalties, it could be easier to get justice,” Katara said.

“You thought this through, didn’t you?” Toph said. “I’m impressed.”

“I don’t want to do anything just yet though,” Zuko said. “I want to wait until Sokka and Suki get back from their honeymoon before doing anything drastic. For now, I’m just going to worry about the laws.”

Toph nodded. “Sounds like a pretty good plan to me.” She grinned and punched his arm. “I’m proud of you.”

“Me too,” Aang said. “I really am.”

“We all are,” Katara said. “Not just us, but I know people in the other nations will be too.” She hugged his waist. “We love you.”

Zuko smiled. “Thanks. It means a lot.”

“So,” Toph said, a sly hint in her grin, “how do we plan on taking this man down?”

* * *

Zuko felt his eyelids shoot open. Despite the early hours, he was immediately aware of his surroundings. He could hear the soft breathing of Katara next to him. He could feel by the sun’s position that it was still in the middle of the night. The palace seemed still.

He tried to focus on what could’ve woken him up. After a few moments of silence, he decided to walk around. _It couldn’t hurt_ , he thought. He gently nudged the covers aside and slid out of the bed, careful not to wake Katara up.

Pushing open his bedroom door, he began walking down the hallway, relaxing as the sound of his footsteps filled the hallway. Everything seemed so quiet.

That’s why it was so noticeable when he heard the hushed whimpers.

Immediately springing towards the barely-audible noise, Zuko rushed down the hallway. He listened closely for any sign of noise. The whimpers were few and far between, but eventually, they led him to the one room he never expected.

Knocking quietly on the door, he pushed the door open.

“Toph?” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

He focused his eyes on the small bundle in the bed. The little figure shook with each breath. Black hair fanned out messily on the pillow, knotting up with each movement.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. He crept over to the side of her bed before sitting on the mattress beside her. He smoothed out her messy hair, ignoring the tangles he felt under his fingers.

“G-go away, Sparky,” she sniffled.

“No, I don’t want to leave you alone like this,” Zuko whispered. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it-it’s stupid.”

“The legendary Toph Beifong—the Avatar’s teacher, inventor of metalbending, and greatest earthbender in the world—doesn’t cry often. So I _know_ it’s not stupid.” He tugged on a strand of her hair gently. “So what happened, hmm?”

Toph mumbled something under her breath, but Zuko couldn’t pick up a word. “Huh? What did you—”

“I had a nightmare,” she repeated. Her voice sounded weak, tired. She sighed. “I told you it was stupid.”

“That’s not stupid,” Zuko said. “I have them all the time.”

“You have a good reason for them.”

“And you don’t?”

“Not like you.”

“Don’t compare yourself to me,” he said. He kept brushing his hand gently over her hair, smoothing out the strands to relax her. “I’m not the only one in the world that gets a nightmare pass.”

She snorted.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“I…It was about the war,” Toph said. Her voice was barely over a whisper. “When I was holding onto Sokka, I dreamed that I fell. That Suki wasn’t underneath to catch us.”

Zuko felt his heart tighten. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, just like Katara did to him after one of his nightmares. Toph stiffened under his touch, but she relaxed soon after.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know that must’ve been horrifying. But you’re okay now though. The war is over. We won, and you never have to face that again.”

She nodded against him. He could feel his shirt become damp. He didn’t know when she started crying again.

Zuko barely registered the knock on the door. He turned his head and saw Katara and Aang standing in the doorframe.

“Is everything alright?” she whispered.

“It’s fine,” Toph said.

Katara nodded, understanding the tone of the room. She walked towards the bed and settled on the opposite side of Toph. She joined their group hug wordlessly. Aang followed suit, kneeling down on the mattress in front of Toph and hugging her tightly.

The four of them sat together, gathered around Toph as she cried. It didn’t matter that the war was over. They were just kids, forced to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. It was hard, and cruel, and unfair.

But together, they could manage it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I officially leave and go back to college tomorrow morning (later today? It's one in the morning where I am). I'm still going to try to put out updates every day or two. Three days at latest.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I can't believe a few chapters back, I really thought fifty chapters would be the maximum. Oh, well. 
> 
> I hope you have a great rest of your day! :)


	49. Checking for Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Zuko updates the others on his plan to confront Ozai, his friends find themselves checking more often to make sure that's what he truly wants.

The air was cool inside the palace, but as the four members of Team Avatar hurried down the hallways, they couldn’t help but begin to sweat.

“Did one of them send out a messenger hawk?” Aang asked. His steps were uneven. He blamed it on confusion from being pulled out of his room by Katara with absolutely no notice.

“Yeah,” Katara said, “we got one. When Sokka and Suki went back to the Southern Water Tribe after their honeymoon was over, Gran Gran and Dad sent one out.” Her steps were light and rushed as she sped down the corridors. “They finished packing that same night and left the next morning.”

“They should be here this afternoon,” Zuko said. He turned his head to look at Aang, but he kept up his pace.

“Wait, why are we running then?” Toph asked.

“I want to be at the dock when they arrive!” Katara said. She grabbed Zuko’s hand in one hand and Toph’s hand in the other. She walked quicker down the halls, pulling the other two behind her. Aang tried to keep up by airbending his way down the corridors.

“Chill out, Sweetness,” Toph said. “I’m sure we’ll make it before them even if we walk leisurely. You know. Like normal people.”

“I don’t want to take any risks,” she said. “Come on, we need to hurry!”

As they rushed out of the palace and into the barn, Katara immediately hopped into Appa’s saddle. The bison groaned, pulled out of his sleep.

“Sorry, buddy,” Aang said. He stroked the bison’s fuzzy face. “But we need to get to the docks before Sokka and Suki arrive.”

Appa groaned again in response before standing up. He shook slightly, but Katara’s hands were gripped so tightly to the saddle that she didn’t even wobble. Zuko and Toph climbed in next to her, and Aang bent the air around him to get onto Appa’s head.

“Appa, yip yip!”

He groaned, and they were all off, flying out of the barn and to the city.

“I’m sorry the meeting ran so late,” Zuko said to Katara, who was playing with the ends of her hair. He scooted next to her and leaned his head onto her shoulder. It distracted her enough to let go of her hair. “You know how Admiral Chan is a talker.”

“I get it,” she said. She brought her hand up to wrap around his back, rubbing the tension out of his muscles. “We’ll make it in time.”

As they glided over the city, they watched as the buildings rushed by in blurs. The people were smaller than pinpricks from this high in the air. It made the world feel so much smaller.

“There’s the dock!” Katara said.

Aang raised the reins, and Appa lowered at the movement. He landed on the wooden docks and let everyone off. As Katara hopped down, she ran to the edge of the dock and peered out into the water.

“There’s the ship!” she called.

“Just in time!” Aang said. He grinned and stood beside Katara, watching as the boat pulled closer and closer to the shore.

“Ten silver pieces says that Suki’s already pregnant,” Toph said.

“Oh, hush,” Katara said. She swatted at Toph’s arm. However, the blind girl grinned to herself.

They heard someone calling out in the distance. Aang squinted and leaned forward slightly. They could barely make out the tiny figures on the boat. One of them was waving wildly, making ridiculously-exaggerated arm motions. The other was shaking her head but was also waving, although the motion was much more subdued.

“I can see them!” Aang said.

“Wow, lucky you.”

“They’re right there!” he continued.

As the ship traveled closer to the dock, they could see Sokka and Suki’s faces become clearer. They both had large smiles painted on their cheeks and happiness embedded in their eyes. When the boat docked, they barely waited a second before sprinting off down the ramp.

“Sokka!” Katara cried. She ran towards the couple, and Sokka yanked her into a hug.

“There’s my little sister!” He looped his arm around her and rubbed his fist on the top of her head. She shrieked and pushed him away.

“I can take it back,” she said. “You can go back to where you came from!”

“It’s good to see you guys again!” Zuko said. He hugged Sokka as well, and the latter patted his back.

“Good to see you too, buddy,” Sokka said.

“Suki, how was Gaoling?” Aang asked. He hugged her as the other two were embracing. “Did you get to go to any Earth Rumbles?”

She laughed. “We went to one, but yeah, it was really nice! Toph, you were so wrong.”

Toph huffed. “Well, if you used to live there, you’d get sick of it too.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Katara said. She embraced Suki immediately as Aang let go.

“Aang, did you go on any adventures without me?”

“Course not!” Aang said, hugging Sokka as he spoke. “Just penguin-sledding.”

“What? You went penguin-sledding without me?”

“We went the first time without you too,” Katara said as she and Suki pulled apart. “Someone didn’t want to have any fun.”

“During the war,” he said. “The war’s over now. I want to have fun!”

“Well, you guys are back now, so we can all have fun again,” Aang said.

“Oh! You missed it!” Toph said. She peered around the dock dramatically, appearing to look for witnesses or bystanders even though she could detect them with her feet. “We have a surprise for you,” she whispered.

“Awwww! Congratulations!” Suki grinned, walking over to Katara. She brought her hand lower to cradle the other girl’s stomach. However, Katara gasped and swatted Suki’s hand.

“No! That’s not it!” she said. Her cheeks were red, obviously flustered. However, Suki immediately cracked up laughing at her own joke.

“Yeah, you’ve got to ask Sparky,” Toph said. “He’s the one responsible for the surprise.”

“Awwww! Congratulations!” Suki repeated, going back over to touch Katara’s stomach.

“No, I’m not pregnant!” Katara snapped. However, everyone immediately laughed again, save for Katara and Zuko, who were both red from embarrassment.

“So what’s up?” Sokka asked. He leaned in closer as the group huddled together. “What’s the surprise?”

“I’m actually planning to…you know.” Zuko raised his eyebrows and lowered them immediately.

Sokka looked at him dumbly. “No, I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Talk to you-know-who.”

“You-know-who…” His blank look never broke. He simply blinked instead. “Can you elaborate?”

“No, I can’t,” Zuko said. “There are eyes and ears everywhere. I don’t want anyone to overhear.”

“Overhear what?”

“Sokka, you imbecile, he’s going to talk to his dad!” Katara whispered loudly. She kept her voice quiet, but her tone was harsh.

Sokka’s jaw dropped, and his mouth shaped into an ‘O’ as his eyes widened. “Ohhhh, yeah, now I got it.”

“Wow, way to make those cranium connections, Snoozles,” Toph said.

“We were waiting for you to get back before we did anything,” Zuko said. “I want you guys there.”

Suki nodded, her face steely but her eyes full of concern. “Of course. Whatever you need, we’re there for you.”

“When do you plan on seeing him?” Sokka asked.

“I’m working on fixing some laws first,” he said. “After they’re finalized, I’ll go.”

“Okay, that sounds good,” Suki said.

“We’re trying to keep it on the down-low,” Aang said. “So try not to talk about this with anyone else present. We don’t want anyone to overhear and try to attack.”

“That’s what happened last time,” Zuko whispered. “One of the servants was in the New Ozai Society, and he overheard me tell Toph that I would be more willing to confront him. That’s why I got stabbed.”

Suki nodded. “We won’t say a word.”

“I can detect if anyone’s around,” Toph said. “Whenever we do talk about it altogether, I’ll make sure absolutely no one is around next time.”

“Are you sure you want this?” she asked.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” she leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m proud of you.”

“Me too, buddy,” Sokka said. He joined the hug, and before they knew it, everyone was huddled into their embrace, turning it into a large group hug.

“Alright, let’s go bring everything to the palace and get you situated,” Katara said.

“I think they’re already unloading the ship,” Sokka said. He turned around to look behind him at the ship. There, he saw several people carrying luggage, bags, and chests down the ramp.

“We’ll get Appa to carry what he can,” Zuko said. “Anything else, I can get the servants to bring down to the palace for you.”

Suki nodded. “That sounds great,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Come on,” Toph said. She pulled on Sokka’s arm. “Let’s get back to the palace already. I want to hear about all the so-called ‘wild stories’ you had in the dreariest city on the planet.”

“Oh, we’ve been to Jang Hui before blowing up the factory, remember?” Sokka said. “That tops Gaoling any day.”

“Whatever,” Toph huffed.

“You still need to tell us how your honeymoon went anyway,” Aang said.

Suki laughed. “We’ll tell you when we get back on Appa. Come on.”

* * *

“You’ve made a lot of progress since I first arrived,” Kuei said. He scratched Bosco’s ear as he spoke. He had a small smile, and there was contentment in his eyes. “I know you’re going to do really well without me. But just know, I’m always a messenger hawk away.”

Zuko nodded. “I really appreciate you coming to the Fire Nation this past year and doing this for me,” he said. “I don’t know how I’m going to make this up to you.”

“Don’t worry about making it up to me,” he said. “I’m not looking for any rewards, I promise. I came down here because your uncle asked me to, not because I expected anything.”

Zuko nodded, his eyes facing his lap. In the back of his mind, he was already concocting plans to do something kind for the Earth King regardless.

“We’ll still work off letters, right?” Zuko asked. He raised his eyes to the other man. “At least for a little while?”

“Of course,” Kuei said. “We can continue having meetings together until you feel comfortable enough to stop. But even then, I’ve appreciated our time together.” He smiled. “Maybe we could still talk even afterwards.”

Zuko smiled back. “I’d like that.”

Kuei looked to the candle on the table and noted the time. “We don’t have much longer,” he said. “Is there anything else you want to talk about before I leave?”

“Um, yeah, actually, I do need to tell you something.”

Kuei nodded and waited patiently for Zuko’s response.

“I’ve been talking to my uncle, my friends, Katara…and I’m going to confront Ozai,” he said. “About everything.”

“I know you and Toph were talking about it before,” Kuei said. “You mentioned being open to the idea. So you finally decided to do it?”

“Yeah.”

“What made you change your mind?” he asked.

“I mean, I’m in a better place than I used to be,” Zuko said. “And I’d rather get this over with now when I’m doing okay.”

Kuei nodded. “As long as you don’t overstep what you’re comfortable with, I think this could be good for you. It might help you to move past everything that happened to you.”

“Do you think it might make things worse?” Zuko asked.

“It might,” he admitted. “But it also could make it much better. It’s a risk you need to be willing to take before going all in.”

“Okay,” Zuko said. His gaze lowered to his lap, and he rubbed one hand over the other. “Okay, that makes sense.”

“Do you still want to go through with it?”

“Yeah, I…I think I do.”

“Okay, but I want you to be completely sure before you do anything,” Kuei said.

“I will.”

“Are you going alone?”

“No, the others would be coming with me. For now, we’re being really quiet about our plans. Especially since the last time Toph and I talked about this…” Zuko trailed off. He subconsciously touched his hand to his side, brushing his fingertips over the layers of clothes above his scar.

“Good. I think that’s a smart move on your end,” Kuei said. “Do you know when you’re going?”

“Maybe two or three weeks.”

“Okay. You need to write to me about how it went.”

“I will.”

As the candle reached the end of its life, the two men stood up. Kuei dropped his hand from Bosco’s head and wrapped his arms around Zuko. “It’s been great talking with you,” he said. “This has helped me just as much as it’s helped you, you know.”

“Thanks, Kuei,” Zuko said. He knew he was tense underneath Kuei’s touch, but he tried to relax. “For everything.”

“I hope one day, you can find peace with everything that’s happened to you.” He pulled away and smiled at the Fire Lord. “But I know you will.”

Zuko smiled. He would miss the anxious, animal-loving king. He hoped it wouldn’t be too long until he got to see him again.

* * *

“Kuei’s leaving tonight,” Zuko said. He had his back pressed up against the headboard of his bed, his head tilted back. “He wants to be back in Ba Sing Se in a week. Unfortunately, his ships aren’t as fast as Appa.”

Katara smiled and settled on the mattress beside her boyfriend. She laced her fingers through his and watched as he lowered his head to look at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Bittersweet,” he answered. “He’s been a really good support system, and talking it out with him has been really helpful, especially since he understands what I’m talking about. He’s been in my shoes, you know? So it’s going to be a transition when he’s gone.”

“Well, you know you can always talk to me about these things.” Katara squeezed his hand gently. “I might not understand everything like King Kuei does, but I still want to help you.”

Zuko smiled and pressed a kiss to Katara’s forehead. “Thanks, Kat.”

“Anytime.” She rested her head on his shoulder, still keeping her fingers intertwined with his.

They sat in a comfortable silence for several moments. Katara listened to the sound of Zuko’s breathing, and he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. Having the moment of quiet was nice. They both needed the peace after the chaos of the past few months.

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Do you really want to go through with…seeing him?” she asked. She lifted her head up from his shoulder to look into his golden eyes. “I don’t want you to go through with this if you really don’t want to.”

“No, I do,” Zuko said. “Honest.” He looked down at their hands, at his thumb rubbing her soft skin. “I’m petrified of seeing him, but I still do want to go through with it.”

“You don’t have to do this immediately,” Katara said. “I don’t want to talk you out of anything or make you feel like you can’t do this because of me. I just want you to be comfortable. That’s most important to me.”

“I know.” He kissed her forehead again; this time, he hesitated on removing his lips from her skin. “I do want this though. It’s just…if I can get over this temporary fear, then hopefully, it’ll make it easier in the long run.”

She nodded. “We’re all going to be there with you,” she said. “We’re going to take care of you if anything happens.” She squeezed his hand. “You still have a support system in us.”

Zuko smiled. “I appreciate it.”

“And not just us as a group, but also me personally.” She let go of his hand to hug him instead. She rubbed his back as she nestled her face into his shoulder. “I’m here to support you as well. I love you so much. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

He held her tightly, cradling her head with one hand and holding her back with the other. “I love you too.” He released her and grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it gently. “And I’m so, so grateful to have you in my life.”

Katara smiled as he let her hand fall back down. “Do you want to cuddle?” she asked. “We still have a few hours before we need to retire for the night, but if you want to, we can.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said. “Can I be the little spoon?”

She giggled. “Yes, Zuko, you can be the little spoon.”

He grinned and immediately laid down on the mattress. She sidled up next to him and scratched his back gently before wrapping her arms around him. She kissed an area of his exposed neck before relaxing into the pillow beside him.

* * *

_To Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe:_

_The past few weeks without you have been busy. Now that we’ve lost one of our best teachers (plus, the only healing teacher right now), it’s been more difficult to keep up with everything. We’re having more masters—both for fighting and healing—come down from the Northern Water Tribe to help teach while you’re gone. However, I wanted to update you on the news from the Earth Kingdom._

_Caihong, the woman sent to inspect your work a few weeks back, has mentioned what a great job you’re doing training your two healing students. She’s reported back to Advisor Jianyu, and he told me that they’ve already begun experimenting with different methods to create the machinery necessary to replicate our healing. They are both hopeful that it will turn out well._

_Kanna says hello and that she misses you, and I have to agree with her. Hopefully, the Fire Nation is treating you well, as well as Sokka and his new wife._

_I hope to see you in a few months. Don’t forget to practice your forms._

_Sincerely,_

_Master Pakku of the Northern Water Tribe_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just moved back into my dorm this morning, so I decided to go ahead and push out another chapter. Hopefully, you all enjoy it!
> 
> Also, because the next chapter is the Big Fifty, I've got something good planned! I'm super, super excited about it!
> 
> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments! :) You guys rock!


	50. Showtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang learns some important news.

That night at dinner, no one expected anything out of the ordinary. After all, the rest of the morning had played out the same way. Zuko was stuck in meetings all day with Aang sitting in as a mediator and Toph sitting in as a human lie detector. Katara spoke with the other ambassadors in meetings of her own, and Sokka sparred with whichever servant was free at the time. Suki helped coordinate peace treaties with some of the advisors, given that Kyoshi Island was neutral during the majority of the war and she had a lot of practice fighting for that privilege.

However, after a particularly long day, everyone gathered together in the mess hall for dinner. Zuko lit the candles with his firebending, and Katara bent fresh water into everyone’s glasses. The servants trailed in like ants in a line, presenting food to the group. Sokka and Toph didn’t even wait for the bowls, plates, and platters to touch the table before immediately grabbing the food out of them.

Everything was normal.

“You shouldn’t eat so fast,” Katara said, nudging her brother’s arm. “You’ll get a stomachache.”

“That’s coward talk,” Sokka said, his mouth full of noodles.

“Well, quit slurping at least,” Zuko said. “You sound like a pangolin-anteater.”

“You mean like this,” Aang said. He stuck the end of a noodle into his mouth and slurped the entire piece up loudly. Broth splashed onto the table, and the noise seemed to make the walls rattle. Zuko groaned.

“You’re all so immature,” Katara snapped.

“You know, Sparky,” Toph said, “you and Sweetness are good for each other. You’re basically Team Avatar’s residential parents.”

“She’s right, Sifu Hotman!” Aang said with a quick nod.

“Whatever,” Katara said. She turned to the girl across from her. “How was your meeting, Suki?” 

“It went really well!” Suki grinned. “The advisors were willing to listen for once, so we were able to start writing the treaty out.”

“I’m surprised they actually listened,” Toph said. “Most of them can’t seem to get their heads out of their backsides long enough to listen to anything other than their own crap.”

“I know! I thought the same thing!” Suki said. “Luckily, there was one advisor in particular that was willing to listen, and he kind of persuaded the others to go along with it.”

“As long as you got the point across, whatever works,” Katara said. She twirled her noodles around with her chopsticks. “I wish the other ambassadors were like that.”

“Were they just as annoying as usual?” Aang asked.

“Worse. It seemed like we couldn’t get anything done.” Katara took a swig of her water before putting the glass back on the table. “At this rate, we’ll come to a conclusion when the Avatar from the Earth Kingdom comes.”

“Wow,” Toph said. “Good luck with that.”

“What about you guys?” Katara asked. “How was the meeting about taking the Fire Nation colonies out of the Earth Kingdom?”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Zuko said. “The Fire Nation governors refuse to give up their land, and a lot of families have already intermingled. I don’t want to pull out all Fire Nation citizens because that means breaking up families, and I can’t do that.”

“Oh…wow, I’m sorry.”

“On the bright side, I caught two people lying!” Toph exclaimed. The smile on her face was full of pride, and Katara couldn’t help but laugh in spite of the situation.

“I’m glad! What did they say?”

“Oh, they were definitely shocked, to say the least. I don’t think they’ll be lying again. At least, not when I’m nearby.”

“How are your laws coming along?” Aang asked Zuko, keeping the question vague in case of listening ears.

“Oh, speaking of that,” Zuko said, smiling, “I have good news!”

“You finally dumped that wimp of an advisor,” Toph said. “What’s his name? Moo?”

“No, it’s Shu, and no, that’s not the news,” Zuko said. “The laws—they’re all finalized!”

“That was quick!” Sokka said.

“Yeah, especially since you were trying to keep it under wraps,” Suki added. “How did you manage to get them updated so quickly?”

“One of the Fire Sages found me in my office rewriting them,” Zuko answered. “He told me his sister was sexually assaulted by one of our soldiers during the war. He was willing to help me push out the updated law and finalize it for me.”

“That’s amazing!” Katara cheered. She put her hand over Zuko’s hand and squeezed it.

“Yeah, that’s great news!” Sokka said. He grabbed Zuko’s shoulder and shook him playfully. “Good on ya!”

“I think this calls for a celebration,” Toph said. She grinned. “You should pull out the plum wine.”

Zuko laughed. “If you want, I can get a servant to bring us some.”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

“Toph, you’re going to be an alcoholic one day,” Suki giggled. She took a sip of her water to disguise her smile.

“I prefer the term ‘party girl.’”

Zuko turned around in his seat and called for one of his servants. A small girl with dark hair and even darker eyes bowed to him as she approached. “How may I be of assistance, Your Highness?”

“Can you please grab us a bottle of the plum wine on the top shelf of the cabinet in the cellar?” he asked.

She bowed. “Of course, Fire Lord Zuko.” She bowed again before disappearing out of the dining room.

“I’m really happy you got the law pushed out earlier than expected,” Aang said as she left. “How long do you think it’ll take the others to find out?”

“Not long,” Zuko answered. “I already sent out a declaration. The citizens should be notified within the next day or two, and I know the council members will show up immediately to raise hell.”

“I like to think they won’t care that much, right?” Aang asked. “Won’t they be happy for the justice?”

Toph scoffed. “You’re too innocent for your own good,” she said. “Don’t you know they’re just as bad? A lot of them have assaulted others too, especially servants.”

“Wait, really?” Aang asked. His gray eyes bugged out, and he turned to look at Zuko in shock.

Zuko nodded. “Yeah, it’s a problem. The power goes to their head. I’ve been slowly replacing the members, but I don’t want to do it too quickly and cause chaos within the nation either. It’s really hard not throwing a lot of these old people out though—and not just for that reason.”

“I can attest to that,” Katara said, waving her chopsticks as she spoke. “They’re horrible in and out of the meeting rooms.” She pointed at Zuko with a chopstick. “If I were you, I would’ve gotten rid of all of them by now, despite the chaos.”

“I wish I could,” Zuko said.

The servant returned with an unopened, dark purple bottle in her hands, as well as several wine glasses. She set a glass down in front of everyone before opening the bottle for the group. She poured some of the plum wine into each glass before setting the bottle down in the center of the table. She bowed and excused herself, leaving the others to their conversations once more.

“Yes, sir!” Toph cheered. She immediately reached for her glass.

“What would Lao and Poppy think of their sweet, innocent daughter drinking wine so young?” Katara joked.

Toph scoffed. “You lost me at ‘sweet, innocent daughter.’ It’s not even like I drink all that often. Only on special occasions.” She lifted her glass. “Like today. I say we do a toast.”

“To what?” Aang asked. He lifted his wine glass, preparing himself to clink glasses.

“To Zuko’s ability to work behind his council members’ and Fire Sages’ backs?” Sokka offered.

“Sounds good to me!” Toph said.

Everyone clinked their glasses together and cheered, “Hear! Hear!” They laughed before taking a sip.

“Suki, why aren’t you drinking?” Katara asked, always the observant one.

She simply laughed. “Not tonight, I guess.”

“B.S. We know you love it,” Toph snorted. “You’re basically the wine aunt of the group. And Zuko brought out the good stuff!”

“I, uh, I guess I’m no longer just an aunt,” Suki said. She rested her hand on her belly, and Katara and Aang immediately shrieked.

“Oh my goodness! Suki!” Katara sprung up out of her seat and pulled her sister-in-law into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you!”

“I can’t believe it!” Aang said. “You’re having a kid!”

Toph scoffed, good-naturedly. “You can’t believe it? Twinkle Toes, it is no surprise that she’s pregnant.” 

“Not surprised, but still happy!” Katara exclaimed. “How far along are you?” The immense smile on her face never diminished.

“Only six weeks,” Suki said. She too had a large smile on her face. She looked towards Sokka happily. “We’re super excited.”

“Congrats, man!” Zuko clapped a hand over Sokka’s shoulder. “You’re going to be a great father!”

“I hope so,” he said. “I’m really nervous though.”

“You’re going to do amazing,” Aang agreed. “And the kid’s already got plenty of aunts and uncles to help.”

“Oh, no,” Suki said with a laugh. “You’re going to desecrate my poor baby’s mind, and they’re not even here yet.”

“That’s our job,” Toph exclaimed.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” Aang asked.

“I want a girl, but Sokka wants a boy.” Suki smiled, letting Katara rest her hand over her stomach. “But really, we just want them to be healthy.”

“I’m so excited for you!” Katara said.

“Hey, just out of curiosity, since you can’t drink your wine, can I have it?”

“Toph!”

* * *

Katara pressed her ear to the office door. She usually didn’t eavesdrop, but her maternal instincts decided to kick in in the worst possible way.

Instead of hearing a quill pen against a piece of parchment like she usually did, she heard the sound of scraping. _Is he moving furniture in there or something?_

“Katara?”

She whipped her head around to look behind her. A pair of wide, gray eyes met hers, and her own widened in response.

“Aang! What are you doing here?”

“I just finished my meeting with the director of the Jiyan Corporation,” he said. “I figured I’d walk around the palace and look for something to do.” He smiled at her knowingly. “Now, what are you doing?”

She sighed. “It’s not what it looks like. He’s spending more time in his office than usual, and it’s stressing me out. I trust him and everything, so it’s not like I think he’s cheating or anything. He’d never do that, but I’m just worried about him.” She looked back to the door. “I don’t want him to get overworked, or spend all day in the office, or-or…I don’t know. Anything…That doesn’t make sense, does it?”

“No, it does,” Aang said. “Come walk with me. We can talk somewhere else.” She nodded and left her post at Zuko’s door. “How often has he been in there?”

“He’s been spending more time in there ever since we came back from the South Pole, but it’s like…it’s like the more time passes, the longer he spends in there. If he’s not in a meeting, he’s in his office. I don’t want him to get stressed.”

Aang nodded. “I get it. Have you talked to him about it?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I talked to him a couple days ago, but he said it should only go on for a few more weeks. I figured it was about the updated laws he was trying to push. But he got done with that quicker than he thought, and he’s still spending time in there.” She looked back down the hallway to where the office was. “It’s like…if he finished the laws already, what is he doing in there?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing too crazy,” Aang said. “Probably just more documents to read, papers to go over. I mean, he’s had more meetings with the western sector of the Earth Kingdom than usual. Plus, the Air Acolytes have been talking to him and me more often. It’s probably just work from those things.” He rested his hand on Katara’s shoulder. “He hasn’t treated you any differently, has he?”

“No! No, of course not!”

“Then, I wouldn’t worry about it.” He gave her a kind smile. “He’d tell you if something was wrong, so it’s probably just extra work. Just give it some time. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Katara smiled back. “Thanks, Aang. I forgot how good you were at giving advice.”

He grinned. “Wisdom is my specialty! You can thank my past lives for that.” They walked outside to the courtyard. “Besides, you’re one of my best friends! That’s what I’m here for.”

She swooped him up into a quick hug. “I really appreciate it.” As she pulled away, she gave him a quick smile. “Now, how did your meeting go?”

Aang grimaced. “Those old people are stiffer than concrete. I wish I could bend them like I bend the elements.”

“You say that until you have the power to.”

“That’s true. I don’t actually want that responsibility. I still wish they were kinder and less stubborn though. If I ever get that way when I’m old, smack some sense into me.”

Katara laughed. “Same here. I’m sure we won’t have to worry about that though.”

“Yeah, the only people in the group that would be stiff, grouchy, old people would be Zuko and Toph.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Toph sprung up out of the earth, and Aang immediately jumped back in surprise.

“Toph! What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know. Just listening to your conversations. The usual.”

“You’ve got to stop that.”

“Like you have room to speak, Sweetness. Don’t act like I couldn’t sense you outside Sparky’s door.”

Katara felt her cheeks go bright red. “Just…don’t tell him.”

“Whatever floats your boat, Sugar Queen.”

* * *

After dinner, Zuko wound up going back into his office for a few hours. His fingers hurt, but he was proud of everything he’d accomplished so far. He figured he only had another week or two until he got everything done.

He pushed the door open gently and was surprised to see Katara in their—not his anymore, let’s be honest—room, completely surrounded by piles of cotton, yarn, and furs.

“What are you doing?” Zuko asked. He scooted a bundle of pale periwinkle yarn to the side and sat down next to her on the mattress.

“I figured that since Sokka and Suki are already having a baby, I should start making baby clothes and blankets for my future niece or nephew.”

“You’ve got months though.”

“Better start early then!”

Zuko smiled. “You’re excited, aren’t you?”

“Of course!” She looked towards him, her sapphire blue eyes gleaming with elation. “I love kids! And now, my brother and best friend are having one of their own!” She brought the needle she was holding to her chest. “Oh, I hope he or she has Suki’s hair! She has beautiful hair!”

Zuko laughed and gathered his girlfriend up into his arms. “I think that baby fever you had a few months ago just never left.”

She rested her head on his shoulder. “You’re probably right. I’m just super excited! Babies are the cutest!”

“Do you know if your dad knows yet? Or your grandmother?”

“I’m not sure. I should probably ask Sokka soon. I wonder how Dad would feel about being a grandfather.”

“I’m sure he’ll spoil that child to no end,” he said.

“Yeah, I know he will,” she laughed. “We all will.”

“Definitely. Toph doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s super excited to have a child to play with. I mean, you’ve seen her with Kiyi.”

“Aw, Kiyi would probably love to see the little baby!”

Zuko smiled. “I’m sure she would. But she won’t be able to play with him or her for a few years.”

“But when she does…” Katara’s words disappeared, immediately replaced with a huge smile. “I’m so happy! I just want the baby to be here already!”

“For Sokka and Suki’s sake, I hope that doesn’t happen,” he said.

Katara pushed all the cloth, thread, and fur aside. She laid down on the mattress and pulled Zuko down beside her.

“Would you want to have kids one day?” she asked. She carded her fingers through his long hair, letting her nails scratch his scalp gently.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.” She remained silent and kept running her fingers through his hair as she waited patiently for him to continue. “It’s like…I don’t want to mess up my own kids like my parents did. But also, the Fire Sages would have my head on a stick if they found out I wasn’t having heirs. They say it’s dangerous to not have anyone in line after you, but…I mean, I’d rather that than to hurt my own children.”

“You would never hurt your children,” Katara said. She rested her head on her boyfriend, but she kept her fingers in his hair. “Never.”

“Not just burn them or anything, but also…like…I don’t know. Accidental favoritism?”

“Zuko, you wouldn’t do that. If you found out that you were, you’d change it immediately.” She slid her fingers down to the nape of his neck and rubbed the baby hairs there.

“I’m just nervous,” he said.

“I understand that,” she said. “But all parents are, especially first-time parents.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Just keep the option open. Not just for me, but for yourself as well.” She cuddled him closer, wrapping her arms around him. “I feel like you would adore having kids to play with and love.”

The more he thought about it, the more he knew she was right. If it hadn’t been for his own parents, he would probably love to have kids, a bunch of them. He wanted little firebenders to meditate with and teach (and secretly, waterbenders as well). He wanted to bring his children to Fire Nation festivals to watch the fireworks, and eat food, and dance in the streets. He wanted to sit next to them at the lake, and feed the turtleducks together, and tell them stories. He wanted to take them to Ember Island to splash in the ocean, and build sandcastles, and make more happy memories that revolve around family.

But he also didn’t want to hurt them—whether directly or not. He was petrified of the consequences. He couldn’t bear the thought of harming them. As the thought of Azula in an institution reared its ugly head, his fears only became more prevalent.

He buried his scarred cheek into Katara’s hair. He knew she would be an amazing mother. She was caring, empathetic, nurturing…she would be perfect. If he were going to raise children, he wanted to raise them with her.

“Do…do you think I’d be a good dad?” he whispered. However, he was only met with the gentle, consistent sounds of her breathing. Sleeping. He sighed and hugged her closer to him, keeping his cheek in her soft hair.

If he ever had children, he promised himself that he would never be like his own father.

* * *

The palace was silent. The sky was black as ink, and the moon was full.

“All clear?” a figure in black asked.

“All clear,” a smaller figure, one wearing similar attire, repeated. “No one’s around. The guards are on the opposite side of the hall.”

“Alright, guys, it’s showtime,” a third figure said.

Six figures, all cloaked in black, rushed down the hall to reach the hidden compartment on the wall. The tallest figure tucked his fingers behind a tapestry and pressed down on one of the stones. A doorway appeared as part of the wall lowered.

“Hurry!”

They dashed inside before the door closed behind them. Hurrying down the spiral staircase, one blanketed in a thick layer of dust, they reached the bottom and pulled the handle to reveal another entrance.

They crossed the grass and reached the barn, where five of the figures immediately hopped onto the flying bison.

“Appa, yip yip!” the sixth figure said, climbing onto the animal’s head. He let out a groan as he flew out of the barn.

They left nothing but silence in the darkness behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big fifty! We finally reached it!
> 
> Also, I'm so excited! This chapter and forward will be a whiplash of events, and I'm super pumped! Grab your popcorn and hold on to your seats because it's about to be eventful!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Seeing the number of people who've clicked on the story gives me so much hope. It's made me more confident as a writer, and it's been so great reading everyone's reactions as each chapter progresses. You guys are absolutely amazing, and you deserve the world! :)


	51. Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang confronts Ozai about hurting Zuko.

The cell was dark, cold, empty except for a single, lowly prisoner.

Ozai sat on the floor, his back against the wall. He didn’t know what time it was. It’d been weeks since he’d last felt Agni’s touch, the fire burning within him. Weeks? Perhaps, it was months. Or maybe, years. He didn’t know. Time felt fickle. He didn’t even know if it was the morning or the night. It destroyed his sleep schedule.

However, his sleeping habits were the least of his concerns. There were bigger things to worry about in his cell—his solitude, his food, the temperature, his filth. Time wasn’t that important. It didn’t matter. Nothing really did anymore.

He wished he could bend or perhaps have a small pebble in the cell to throw against the wall. There was nothing in there to entertain him save for his own thoughts, and even they quickly got boring after a while. He wondered if this is what Iroh felt like, but he immediately pushed the thought away.

The temperature grew colder and colder within the room. It was times like these where he wished he had his bending, if even to warm himself up. He rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them, but it was all in vain. _Useless_.

In the distance, he heard the door squeak. He perked up. _Visitors._ He hadn’t had visitors in a while, not since the earthbender girl, the boomerang boy, and the girl with the fan came. He didn’t think it was a guard bringing him food or water. He wondered who it would be this time.

Focusing on the sound of the footsteps, he heard them come closer and closer. There were several pairs, but he couldn’t tell how many people there were. He leaned back, deciding to wait for them. They’d show up soon enough.

When he blinked, he saw six figures, all dressed in black, in front of him. They all stayed a healthy distance away from the bars. Away from him.

“And what do I owe this honor?” he asked sarcastically. Venom dripped from each word. He stood up to face the cloaked figures and gave the most intimidating glare he could manage.

One of the figures raised an arm forward, their palm facing the cell. They flexed their fingers, and Ozai felt his legs grow weak. He collapsed forward. His knees hit the stone floor hard, enough to bruise.

His hands shook before they wrenched themselves in different directions. He cried out in pain from the strain, and with no hands propped up to support him, his body fell forward.

The figure raised a hand, and Ozai felt his neck jerk forward. His head moved up on its own, forcing him to lock eyes with the masked faces in front of him.

“Do you know who we are?” the figure asked. The voice was feminine but strong.

“No, I don’t,” he said. He tried to put as much poison in his tone as possible, but his voice felt weak from the pain.

“Then, maybe, this will help you.” She reached up and pulled back her cloak, exposing her face. She had bright, blue eyes that stuck out against her dark skin. Her brown hair was pulled back into a braid. She was obviously Water Tribe, but he didn’t recognize her.

“I’ve never seen you before,” Ozai said.

“No, perhaps you haven’t,” she said. She paced towards him before dropping her grip on him suddenly. He felt his limbs relax, and he rubbed his arms subconsciously. “After all, this is my first time meeting you in person. But I know all about you.” She dipped her head down.

“The Avatar may have taken away your bending,” another figure said, inching closer to him, “but even he didn’t provide real justice against the things you’ve done.” She pulled down her hood. She had fair skin, though not as pale as Fire Nation. Her auburn hair was cut short, and her gray-blue eyes were full of anger. They reminded him of a storm.

It struck him suddenly.

“Wait,” he said. “I do remember you. You showed up with the blind girl and the Water Tribe boy.”

“After you were defeated,” the smallest figure said. She removed her own hood, revealing a pair of unseeing, unfocused eyes. “How could we forget?” Another figure from beside her lowered his own hood, revealing the same Water Tribe features as the first girl.

“When I defeated you,” another figure said, pulling down his own hood to reveal the blue arrow on his bald head, “I thought I was doing the right thing.” His eyes grew dark. “I guess I was wrong.”

“The Avatar!” Ozai said. “You have not defeated me! I am the Phoenix King!”

“If he didn’t defeat you, then tell us why you’re behind bars while we get to walk freely,” the blind girl said. Ozai scowled but didn’t say anything.

“Why are you here?” he sneered.

“Because you’re going to pay for the sick things you did to me.”

Ozai’s eyes widened.

The sixth figure walked forward, bent down, and pulled down his cloak. He revealed a set of golden eyes, one of which was masked by a deep, ugly scar.

“Fire Lord Zuko,” Ozai said. “What a surprise.”

“It’s no surprise,” Zuko said. “You should’ve known this was coming.”

“Perhaps,” he said. “But you’ve always been weak. I didn’t think you had the guts to come and see me. But you did bring an entourage, didn’t you? Even as Fire Lord, you’re still too cowardly to face me alone.”

Ozai groaned suddenly. He felt himself jerk forward and slam against the stone floor. His head was raised forward to meet his son’s eyes.

“You’re disgusting,” the Water Tribe boy said. “You need to shut the hell up. You don’t deserve him. You never deserved to have him in your life.”

“Oh, I should stop talking, should I?” Ozai said. “There’s nothing stopping me. What are you going to do to me, hmm? Throw me in prison? Take away my bending?” He chuckled darkly. “There’s nothing else you can do to me.”

“What about this?” The blind girl stomped, and a large column erupted out of the floor. It knocked him in the chest, and he flew straight off his feet and cracked his head into the wall behind him.

The Avatar blew sharply, and the air pinned Ozai to the wall. Zuko stepped forward, his golden eyes dark.

“I plan to keep you locked up in the cell for the rest of your life,” he hissed. “You wanted so badly for future generations to see you as their savior, a god. But really, they’ll see you as the repulsive, abusive psychopath that you are.” He punched the bars, and the metal rattled loudly. “Why do you do it?” Zuko yelled. His voice was sharp, intimidating. “Why do you do that to me?” However, Ozai didn’t answer. He just kept his eyes locked onto his son’s, glaring at him.

Suddenly, he felt his throat tense up. He tried to grab his neck, but his hands suddenly froze too. They twisted at the wrists uncomfortably. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. He was choking.

“He asked you a question,” the Water Tribe girl said. She squeezed her fingers, and the invisible grip on his neck tightened. “When I let go, I expect you to answer it.” She squeezed harder. “You got that?”

Ozai couldn’t nod in response. Yet, she still dropped him. He hit the floor again and immediately soaked in deep, wheezing gasps.

“You…you’ve got to be clearer than that,” he breathed heavily.

Zuko leaned forward and bent down to meet Ozai’s height. “Why did you touch me?” he asked. His voice cracked as it flooded with emotion.

“Oh, don’t be modest,” he said, adopting his venomous, mocking tone once more. “I did so much more than that.” He watched as Zuko gritted his teeth in anger and humiliation, and he couldn’t help but grin. “Do they know?” he asked. “All your so-called ‘friends?’ Do they know about all the things I did to you?”

“Stop it,” Zuko hissed.

“Did you tell them about how I screwed you every single night for two years? How I fucked your tight ass until you screamed.”

“Stop it,” he repeated. He squeezed his eyes shut, appearing to will away his father’s voice. “Stop it and answer the question.”

“Did you tell them how you would suck my cock? Tell them what I tasted like, Zuko.”

“Shut up!” he cried.

“And how you eventually stopped fighting it? Why was that, hmm, Fire Lord Zuko? It’s ‘cause you liked it, didn’t you? You were always such a whore. I’m surprised you even still have friends after learning about that. Let’s be honest—no one wants someone as damaged and screwed-up as you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Ozai saw the Avatar’s eyes grow pale. They flashed, glowing in the darkness of the prison, and the arrows on his body lit up too. Ozai felt his stomach drop.

_Shit._

The Avatar wasted no time grabbing the stone on either side of Ozai and pulling it up on either side. It bent like soft butter within his grasp under his added power in the Avatar State. The stone latched onto his wrists and yanked him down, pinning him to the floor.

The earthbending girl stomped boulders up out of the floor and punched them towards him. They whacked into him, breaking several bones upon impact as they crushed into his ribcage. The girl with auburn hair punched through the bars, hitting directly into his stomach. He wanted to throw up.

“You’re a twisted freak,” the Water Tribe boy said. He grabbed a boomerang from behind his back. “You’re absolutely disgusting. You deserve so much worse than just having your bending stolen.” He launched the boomerang straight into his skull, and it cracked into his forehead. Ozai couldn’t help but cry out at the impact as the boomerang rocketed back towards its owner.

Meanwhile, the Water Tribe girl flexed her fingers once more. He felt his heart pump harder and harder until his chest ached. It felt like his heart would explode. His eyes widened. _She’s bloodbending._

“It was you,” he managed. His voice was weaker, but he tried to remain intimidating. He doubted it was working. “You were the last waterbender. My soldiers lied to me!”

“And you lied to everyone in your court about what happened to me!” Zuko shrieked. He punched several shots of fire at his father’s bare chest, and the smell of burning flesh flooded the air. “When the Fire Sages would ask, and you lied to them!” he yelled over the sound of Ozai’s screams.

If he wasn’t held up by the stone columns around his wrists, he would’ve hit the ground by now. His torso, chest, stomach, forehead—everything—ached. He felt like he was on fire. He felt a heavy pressure on his chest. His broken ribs jutted out into his lungs, and the shards made it hard to breathe. His organs felt tight and heavy.

The Water Tribe girl rested her hand on Zuko’s back. His son’s eyes were more like a fire than the molten gold that they usually were. They were full of anger, shame, fury, and humiliation. He saw a mixture of himself and Ursa in his son’s eyes.

“Stop,” Zuko said. His voice was weak. Ozai despised the sound.

The waterbender lowered her arms and dropped her grip on him. The earthbender stopped stomping, and the Water Tribe boy slid his boomerang back behind him. The auburn-haired girl backed away from the cell bars, and the Avatar stopped glowing, instead returning to his original state.

Ozai fell forward. He hit the ground, and the pain radiating through his body made it impossible to move. He knew his wounds—especially the burns—would surely get infected due to the dirt on the floor, but he couldn’t get up. His oily hair was stringy around his face. Everything ached like a million fires stinging the blood inside him.

“Did you do the same thing to Azula?” Zuko said, his voice low. Weak. “Did you touch her, hurt her like you did to me?”

It took everything in Ozai to raise his head to face his son. He grinned evilly. “No, she’s not a filthy slut like you are. She’s always been the better heir. You were just a hole to fuck.”

Zuko dipped his head down. “Sokka,” he said, his voice low. “Do it.”

“Are you sure?” the Water Tribe boy asked.

Zuko took a deep, shaky breath before nodding. “Yeah. Get it over with.” He raised his head to look into his father’s eyes. “He needs to suffer like I suffered.”

With that, he turned and walked away. The Water Tribe girl and the Avatar followed behind him. They walked down the hallway, completely disappearing from sight.

The blind girl put her hands against the bars and bent them apart, leaving a hole large enough to walk through. Had Ozai had the strength to move, he would’ve attempted to escape. However, as soon as she, the auburn-haired girl, and the Water Tribe boy entered the cell, the bars were immediately bent back into shape.

“You’re nothing but filth,” Sokka spewed. “And Zuko wanted me to make sure you couldn’t hurt anyone like that ever again.”

“I’m in a cell,” Ozai said. It hurt to speak, but he couldn’t simply remain silent. He refused to. “There’s not much I can do.”

“We don’t care,” the blind girl said. She pinned Ozai down with the stone around him, locking him to the floor. It was impossible to move.

“Do you have the knife?”

The auburn-haired girl nodded. She pulled it out of her cloak and handed it to the Water Tribe boy. She wasted no time in yanking down Ozai’s pants, keeping her face steely.

It suddenly dawned on Ozai what they were going to do.

“Wait, stop!” he cried. “Stop! I command you!”

“Oh, Zuko told you to stop too, didn’t he?” the boy asked. He placed the blade of the knife against the base of his genitals. “What a shame that you didn’t. Maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation otherwise.”

Everyone in the prison could hear his screams that night.

* * *

Zuko barely made it onto Appa’s saddle before completely breaking down in tears. His eyes burned as saltwater streaked down his face, and his shoulder shook from the exertion. As he sobbed, he screamed. They were loud, agonizing cries of anguish.

He felt a small weight on his arms, and before he noticed, he was sinking into Katara’s soft flesh. Her black cloak immediately grew soaked with his tears, but she didn’t care as she threaded her fingers through his loose hair.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s over. It’s all over now. You never have to see him again.”

Aang pressed his hand against Zuko’s kneecap, rubbing it gently as the older man bawled. He didn’t say anything, but instead, he just let him get it out of his system. He knew he needed it.

The three of them sat like that for a long time, just comforting Zuko as he sobbed and shook in agony. Katara’s cloak barely muffled his loud cries as he screamed into the empty night sky.

After what seemed like forever, Suki, Sokka, and Toph were spotted in the distance, running towards Appa and the others. There wasn’t any blood on their clothes or hands, and Zuko was incredibly grateful. He didn’t know if he could stand the sight.

Toph joined Katara in her hug with Zuko. She rubbed his back and rested her head on her brother figure’s shoulder. “Sparky, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “You didn’t deserve this.”

Suki grabbed Zuko’s hands, which were shaking even more than his shoulders. She rubbed her thumbs over the back of his hands and dragged her index finger along his sensitive palms to ground him. “It’s alright now,” she said. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Sokka rested his hand on the shoulder that Toph wasn’t laying on. He squeezed it gently. “We’re so proud of you,” he said. “We know that must’ve been really difficult for you.”

“It-it was a-a lot…har-der than…than I thought,” Zuko gasped, still crying his eyes out.

“I know,” Suki said. She squeezed his hand gently, and Sokka rubbed circles into his shoulder, the way he’d seen Katara do sometimes when Zuko was stressed.

“That never should’ve been your responsibility,” Aang said. He squeezed Zuko’s kneecap. “You shouldn’t have to make those decisions. That’s not fair to you.”

“But it’s all over now,” Katara said. She kissed the tears off his cheeks. “It’s going to be okay now. You won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

Zuko nodded. He tried to bite his lip to muffle his cries, but it didn’t work. He bawled like no one else was around. He didn’t care how weak it might’ve made him look. He didn’t care that he was probably being overemotional. He needed this. He needed this since that night at eleven years old.

The six of them sat together, huddled up on Appa’s saddle as the bison silently led them back to the palace. No amount of love or hugs could heal him and patch together his broken shards, but Zuko was grateful for them anyway. The love that outpoured from his friends—his found family—was tremendous. He’d never expected to be loved, to be wanted like that.

As he rested his head on Sokka’s shoulder and watched as Appa flew away from the prison, he left his old life behind in the dark, cold cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This was hard to write. It was incredibly painful, but I hope everyone's still okay after that.
> 
> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments! It makes me happy to know people are still enjoying it! :)


	52. After the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After confronting Ozai, the Gaang tries to relax before facing the music.

Aang had his back pressed against the wall of the courtyard as he tossed a pebble through the air. Lost in thought, he mindlessly played with different airbending and earthbending techniques, changing the shape of the pebble and flow of the air.

His head was pounding. He didn’t know if it was from stress or the chaos that happened the day before. He tried to disregard it, but the constant, dull ache was hard to ignore.

He was so lost in his own mind that he didn’t register the sound of footsteps approaching until a pair of legs stood directly in front of him. Aang looked up to see the limbs’ owner, and he was met with Iroh’s smiling face.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Iroh asked kindly.

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” Aang said. He scooted over slightly to give the older man some room. Iroh took a seat directly next to the fifteen-year-old and leaned back against the wall as well.

“You seem stressed,” he said. “What’s on your mind?”

Aang sighed. “Did Zuko tell you what happened?”

Iroh nodded stiffly. “Yes, he told me this morning.”

“Then, that.” Aang put his arms on his kneecaps and rested his chin on his forearms.

“He didn’t give me many details, but it seemed like it was a lot to handle,” Iroh said. “You are a good friend for going with him.”

“It’s weird because I don’t know how to feel about it. Like I know Ozai hurt Zuko really badly, and he’d been doing it for years. But also…I don’t know. The monks always said that revenge is unhealthy and benefits no one. And even though he hurt Zuko, are we any better for hurting him too?”

Iroh nodded. “Cognitive dissonance is a strange thing. You want to uphold your culture and morals, but you also want to support your friend.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly it,” Aang said. He lifted his chin up off his arms and looked over to Iroh, who stroked his beard thoughtfully. “And it’s not like I can find another lion turtle to help me, and my past lives don’t understand. Roku would be horrified to learn what happened to his great-grandson, and Kyoshi has fewer qualms about hurting people to achieve peace and justice.” He put his head back on his arms. “I just don’t know.”

“Well, that decision wasn’t yours to make,” Iroh said. “It was Zuko’s. It was completely his decision, and the only thing you had to do was stand by him.”

“I know that it isn’t my decision, but I still feel guilty. Like…I hurt someone.”

“Perhaps, you did,” Iroh said. “However, people will always be hurt by your actions—both indirectly and directly. Everything you do will have an effect on someone, whether you know it or not.” He dropped his hand from his beard and rested it on his lap instead. “It is impossible to live a completely pacifist life. After all, life doesn’t work that way,” he said sagely. “The world isn’t as black and white as it seems, and gray area exists everywhere. Maybe you helped hurt Ozai, but you also helped bring justice to him too.

“Let me ask you something,” Iroh continued. “Do you think Zuko is a bad person for confronting his father?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then, why would you be any different?”

“I don’t know. Because we have different morals?”

“Or perhaps you just hold yourself to a higher standard than you hold others to,” Iroh said. “You’re not a bad person for accompanying him, and you shouldn’t feel any guilt for supporting him when he needed you most. You had to put your ideals aside to help your friend. That is an honorable act, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.”

“Do you think this is going to help him?” Aang asked. “You don’t think this is going to make it worse, do you?”

“My nephew has a habit of jumping into situations without stopping to think about them,” he said. “This time, he finally thought about it deeply before making a choice. I will trust his decision.”

Aang nodded. “Then, I will too.”

“Your morals don’t have to align with his perfectly,” Iroh said, “nor do they have to line up with your other friends. You can support them and still stay true to yourself. When you left with Zuko and Katara, leaving Sokka, Toph, and Suki to finish the job, that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t forget who you were just to appease others.” He put a hand on Aang’s shoulder. The younger boy relaxed under his touch, the tension disappearing from his muscles. “You didn’t want any part in that, and so you left. But you were still there for your friend.”

Aang smiled softly. “Thank you, Iroh. I really needed that.” He dropped his arms off his knees and let his legs relax. “Remember when we were in the tunnel trying to find the cave, and I told you that I heard you gave great advice? Looks like nothing changed.”

Iroh chuckled. “Oh, much more has changed than you may think, young airbender. But as life changed us, our destinies shaped together.”

The two of them continued to sit against the wall of the courtyard, listening to the wind and enjoying the peacefulness between them.

* * *

Zuko leaned against a chair in one of the side rooms. He wasn’t sure what it was used for—probably a sitting room during his father or grandfather’s reign. However, it was peaceful, and that’s what mattered.

The chair was plenty large enough to hold two people comfortably, and so he had Katara bundled up next to him, halfway in his lap as they held each other.

Her face was buried in the crook of his neck, and his scarred cheek was nestled in her chocolate curls. He could feel her soft breaths against his collarbone and never wanted the feeling to end.

“What did he say when you told him?” Katara asked quietly. She rubbed her fingers over his sternum, tracing the area where she knew his scar hid underneath his robes.

“He was surprised,” he answered, “but proud. It’s weird to think about, but I could tell he was proud that I stood up to him.”

“And does he know about how Sokka…you know…”

Zuko nodded. He pressed his cheek closer to her hair. “Yeah. I told him that too.”

“And he’s not mad or anything?”

“He wouldn’t be mad about that. Especially after everything he did.”

“Okay,” Katara said. She squirmed, pressing herself deeper into Zuko’s skin. “I’m glad you have him in your life and that he’s supportive of you unconditionally. I don’t know how I’d feel if I had to live with the knowledge that my brother was a rapist and was castrated as a result of his crimes.”

“Yeah, me too,” Zuko agreed. “Uncle’s always been strong though, and he’s seen a lot. I don’t know if this really surprises him.”

“That’s probably fair.” Katara brought her fingers up from his sternum to his heart, and she kept reaching up until she reached his collarbone. She rubbed the bone gently, feeling the taut skin under her fingertips. “How are you feeling after everything?”

Zuko shrugged. “I’m not sure. It’s like…I feel equal parts free and numb at the same time.”

“I understand that.” She removed her fingers and kissed his collarbone. “It’s only been a day though. Hopefully, the numbness will leave eventually.”

“I hope so.”

“It’ll just take some time.” Katara wrapped her hand around Zuko’s back. “But it’ll be okay. I know it.”

Zuko nodded.

_It’ll be okay._

* * *

“I come bearing good news!” Sokka said dramatically. He swung an arm out to the side, his other arm holding several scrolls to his chest. Suki stood next to him, a large smile painted on her cheeks.

“You’re having twins instead of just one baby?” Katara guessed.

“We’re having curried chickpeas and rice for dinner tonight?” Aang asked.

“You decided that we’re due for another vacation to Ember Island?” Toph added.

“Nope!” Sokka threw the scrolls down on the long meeting table that everyone was gathered around. “The citizens received the declaration.”

Zuko’s eyes widened in surprise. “What happened? What did they say?”

Sokka grinned. “A lot of people are ecstatic. Apparently, a lot of the soldiers during the war had claims after them, and people are excited for justice. Plus, several women have come out with claims about domestic violence. They’re happy to finally be taken seriously and know that when they file reports, the abusers and rapists will actually be punished.”

Zuko smiled. A heavy weight lifted off his shoulders—one he wasn’t even aware of. The citizens were happy about this new report. This new, updated law. He couldn’t ask for anything better.

“And the higher-ups?” he asked.

“Oh, they’re livid,” Suki said. Her grin grew even larger. “They immediately called to revoke the law, but they couldn’t because it had your seal _and_ the seal of the Fire Sages. Plus, the citizens have been so joyous that they didn’t want to take away the law and lose their support.”

Zuko grinned, and Katara shrieked in joy. She grabbed him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. “You did it, Zuko!” she cried. “You did it! I’m so proud of you!”

Before they knew it, everyone was piled up into a group hug, sobbing and cheering.

Zuko had won.

As they broke apart, Suki handed Zuko one of the scrolls that Sokka had brought. “Some of the citizens wrote letters in support of the new law,” she said. “These are just a few that have come in, but the servants working in the mail system told us they’re starting to get flooded. We brought a few for you to read now.”

Zuko accepted the parchment and broke the yellow wax seal. As he unfurled the scroll, his eyes widened. Big, messy characters, obviously a child’s handwriting, filled the page. Little doodles on the bottom of the parchment—smiley faces, shining suns, tiny flowers—covered the bottom next to the signature.

_Dear Fire Lord Zuko,_

_Thank you for making the new law. Mommy told me about it today. She is really happy because Daddy can’t hurted her anymore. Thank you for making Mommy happy again._

_Love,_

_Jing_

Zuko closed his eyes, trying to will away the tears of happiness that threatened to flood out. His hands shook, and he rolled back up the letter.

“They love you,” Suki said softly. She rested a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “A lot of them were more than happy to have a Fire Lord who wanted peace instead of war and wanted things for the good of his people rather than the good of his legacy. But now…they’re actually seeing your works come to fruition.”

Zuko smiled. He opened his eyes, and a small tear slid down his cheek. Suki grinned and pulled him back into a hug. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered into his good ear.

“The citizens are actually planning on having a festival in support of the new law tonight,” Sokka said. He pushed the rest of the scrolls to Zuko’s side of the table and smiled. “I say we should all go.”

“That sounds great!” Toph said.

“Do you think any of the superiors who are against the law will show up and try to hurt him?” Katara asked.

“If the citizens support him as much as Sokka and Suki say, I don’t think they’ll even allow them to touch Zuko,” Aang said.

Zuko smiled. “I want to go. I want to see my people.”

* * *

He didn’t know how they got a festival set up that quickly. Maybe, the supplies were already there, and they just had to set them up. But Zuko didn’t know for sure. Either way, he wasn’t complaining. His people were celebrating the new law that he wasn’t sure how they would react to, and now, he felt so much better. He wanted to go out and enjoy the festival with the rest of them.

Dressed more casually but still wearing his royal hairpiece, he walked down the streets, hand-in-hand with Katara. Sokka and Suki trailed behind them, and Aang and Toph laughed together next to them. Zuko squeezed Katara’s hand and smiled. Everything felt so perfect.

“Look! Food!” Sokka immediately pointed to one of the food stands and took off, pulling Suki behind him. The others rolled their eyes and followed behind him.

“Can I get some fire flakes?” Sokka asked. Katara glared at him. “And some water?” The man behind the cart chuckled and gave Sokka a bag of the snack. The other had ordered various foods as well before heading off to the main area.

“Do you see that?” Aang asked. He pointed to the citizens with the hand that didn’t have a stick of soy sauce-covered corn on the cob in it. “They’re dancing!”

“Yeah, so?” Sokka asked, his mouth full of fire flakes.

Aang turned to him. “Fire Nation doesn’t dance, remember?”

Sokka’s eyes widened suddenly. He looked over at Zuko, his O-shaped mouth slowly molding into a smile.

Zuko smiled. “After the war ended, I wanted to bring back some of our culture.” He shrugged. “If Aang had to, I wanted to do it too.” He motioned towards the people dancing in the streets. “So we brought back the arts.”

Aang grinned and immediately tackled Zuko into a hug. “Hey, hey! It’s not that important!”

“Are you serious?” Aang asked. “This is amazing!”

“Your people haven’t had a chance to express themselves creatively during the war,” Suki said. She smiled as she faced the crowd. “And now, they finally do.”

“Let’s go join them!” Aang said. He tugged on Zuko’s wrist and dragged him into the mass of dancing bodies. The others ran after them.

“Wait, up!” Sokka yelled. He threw his empty bag into a nearby trashcan before rushing over to the others.

Aang began dancing wildly, just as he did in his dance party three years ago. Toph laughed at him, but he yanked her into his dance.

“Twinkle Toes! What are you doing?”

“Come on! Dance with me!”

“I can’t dance!”

“Then, let me show you!”

Aang led her through a series of twirls and quick moves. Toph was by no means graceful, and she clearly looked uncomfortable dancing in front of a crowd. However, she stayed with Aang regardless, laughing as they danced together.

“Aw, that’s cute,” Suki said. “Sokka, we should dance!” She reached her hand out and grabbed his, and they hurried to an empty area to sway together.

“Well, I guess that just leaves us,” Katara said. She winked before sticking a hand out to him.

“Just because I brought dancing back doesn’t mean I know how to do it myself,” Zuko said.

“Shouldn’t royalty be classically-trained?”

“There were more important things to worry about in the middle of a war,” he said with a shrug.

“Come on,” she said. “It’ll be fun!”

They walked towards an empty area of the road, where the music was quieter and the streetlight lit up the ground underneath them. The song changed just as they got situated, and the next one was much slower. Calmer.

Katara grinned. She led Zuko’s hand to her waist, and she brought her hand up to the back of his neck. She stepped in closer to him, and they held hands as they swayed.

The glow from the streetlight made Katara’s eyes glisten under the night sky. She looked up at her boyfriend with such an adoration and love in her eyes that it made him weak. His heart fluttered within his chest as they danced together.

“You’re not half bad,” she joked.

“Neither are you,” he said. A smile pulled at his lips. He saw her sapphire eyes dart down, from his eyes to his lips. Taking initiative, he leaned down and kissed her, feeling her melt against him. His head spun. They fit together so perfectly. He couldn’t wish for a better night.

As the song continued, he twirled her around in a circle. Her blue and white dress billowed as she spun. She was stunning, an angel sent down to the world.

“I love you,” he whispered, leaning closer to her as they slow-danced. “I love you so much.”

He rested his forehead on hers, savoring her words as she whispered back to him.

“I love you too. Always.”

* * *

_Kuei-_

_I’ve made a lot of progress thanks to our therapy sessions over the past year or so, and I finally was able to approach my father. It was harder than I thought it was going to be, and he hasn’t changed much unfortunately during his time in prison. He’s still an ass. I guess I can’t help it._

_Luckily, the others were there with me. It’s been easier to open up to them ever since we started the sessions, and they’ve been a really good support group. Toph and Sokka definitely just wanted to make him pay, but it was really satisfying being the one to walk away from him instead of the other way around._

_The day after I saw him, I felt oddly numb, but also liberated. Several months ago, you told me that healing wasn’t linear, and I thought that was a load of crap. I thought that my bad days were over, but they kept coming back. Now, I think that advice is a lot easier to understand now. I can’t expect a perfectly straight line because that’s never going to happen. I’m trying to do my best though. That’s all the others ask of me._

_Uncle Iroh said he sees a drastic difference in my moods compared to before. I’m super grateful. I can see it sometimes, but not always. Overall, I’m doing much better though._

_I wanted to thank you again for all of your help and your support. It’s been great having you with me._

_-Zuko_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, we've reached the end of the angst! It's all smooth sailing from here, and it's going to get all fluffy and cute. I'm so pumped!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the story so far! Thank you once more for all the kudos and comments! :)


	53. Sunsets and New Chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Zuko has his afternoon off, he decides to spend it with Katara.

The sun shone through the window, pulling Katara out of her sleep. She yawned and stretched immediately, and her movements caused the figure beside her to shift.

“Zuko?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been up for a little while.”

“What time is it?” she yawned, covering her open mouth with her hand.

“Eight. Eight-thirty. Somewhere around there.”

“I’m surprised you’re still in bed,” Katara said. She rubbed the crust off her eyes before flipping over to face Zuko. His hair flopped over his forehead and fanned out over his shoulders. She giggled and brushed his hair back with her fingers.

“Mmmmm, I don’t really want to get up,” he said. He pulled her closer to him, keeping her in his arms. She squealed as she felt him curl himself around her. “You’re really cozy.”

“You’re so cuddly this morning,” she said. However, she wrapped her arms around him as well. “Why are you so clingy today?”

He shrugged before burying his face into her hair. “You’re comfy.”

She laughed and cradled him closer to her. “Did you meditate this morning, at least?” He shook his head in her hair. “Baby, you’ve got to get up and meditate.”

“Mmm, no.”

“Come on,” she said. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” She tried to wriggle out of his grasp and force him to get up, but he simply hugged her closer to him. “Zuko!”

“Five more minutes.”

She smiled. “Okay, five minutes.” She decided to savor the cuddling time too. She wrapped her arms around him closely and nestled her nose into the skin of his bare chest. His scent was inviting and warm, like campfires mixed with his natural scent that she loved so much. She wondered what she smelled like.

“What do I smell like?”

“Heaven,” he mumbled.

She giggled. “No, seriously.”

He didn’t pull away from her hair as he answered, “Flowers. Hibiscus and coconuts. Sometimes saltwater too.” She felt him breathe against her neck. “You always smell so good.”

“I’m glad,” she said. “I was just curious.”

“Mmmm, okay,” he mumbled, falling back into her. His arms tightened as he held her to him. She could feel his heartbeat through his chest. It was grounding, relaxing. She pressed a kiss to his hair.

This was always the best part of her day. Mornings and nights where she got to cuddle with her man and talk about their lives, spilling their deepest secrets as they held each other. She always felt so content and safe in his arms, like he could protect her from the world and the nightmares that came with saving it. She wished she could stay there forever.

_Okay, maybe just a few more minutes_ , she thought to herself, nestling deeper into Zuko’s cuddly form.

* * *

The dining hall was full of laughter and conversation, just as it usually was. The room was loud and busy, but warm and welcoming too.

“The health director really tried to tell me that he was telling the truth! I mean, these feet don’t lie—unlike his flapping lips!” Toph lifted her leg up and smacked her heel up on the table to show off her foot.

“I don’t know why they bother anymore,” Suki laughed, rubbing her stomach. “They should know better by now.” She pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and her emerald betrothal necklace gleamed under the chandelier’s lights.

“That’s what I’m saying!”

“Well, at least he’s a relatively even-tempered man,” Katara said. She rolled her eyes as she took a sip of water. “I mean, the director of human resources has a personality that changes at the drop of a hat.”

“So does Lieutenant Quin,” Aang said. He pointed a chopstick at Zuko. “Do all of the superiors have pitiful attitudes or just the ones in the Fire Nation, Sifu Hotman?”

“I’m not answering that,” he said, but he couldn’t mask his smile. He popped a bite of curried salmon in his mouth.

“Oh!” Katara turned her head to Zuko. “You’ve got to tell them about the mail system!”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. He grinned. “You know how three weeks ago, the declaration was released? And you know how almost immediately, a lot of citizens started sending letters? Well now, the mail system is absolutely swamped. Letters have been flooding in left and right.”

“Are they all thank-you letters?” Aang asked.

“Not all of them,” Zuko answered. “There are a lot of officials that are really angry about it and aren’t hesitating to let me know, but I don’t care what they have to say. The only reason anyone would be angry about passing laws to enforce punishment on rapists is if they themselves are a rapist or if they support them.” He took a sip of his water before continuing. “And if that’s the case, I don’t care. I’m not revoking my law.”

“I’m proud of you, Sparky!” Toph said. She punched his bicep and grinned. “Finally standing your ground!”

“Yeah, and if all the citizens are super happy about it, then it doesn’t matter about a few grumpy, sleazy, old men who are angry that they can’t perve on others anymore,” Sokka said. “Their opinions are worthless.”

“Agreed,” Toph said with a nod.

“But I’ve kept all the letters of gratitude,” Zuko said. He smiled. “I’ve actually been hanging them up on the walls of my office. That’s the one good thing about the room being huge—it’s more wall space.”

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Suki said. “I’m so happy for you!”

“There are so many kids,” Katara added. “It’s both really precious and sweet, but also really sad because those kids went through a lot.”

“You’re really helping your nation,” Aang said. He smiled at Zuko. “No matter what the old people in the courts and Ozai-loyalists say, you’re doing more for your people than your ancestors ever did.”

Zuko smiled. “Thanks, Aang. It means a lot.”

Katara wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Are we all done?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s back to the Air Acolytes,” Aang said. He piled his napkins and chopsticks onto his empty plate before standing up.

“Do you need a lie detector?” Toph asked, pushing her chair out as she stood.

“Yeah, sure, if you’re free!”

“What about you?” Katara asked, turning to face Zuko. “How many more meetings do you have?”

“I’m actually free for the rest of the day,” he said. He smiled and pressed his hand to her waist. “I was hoping I could take you out to the city today.”

“Oh! Okay!” Katara smiled. “That sounds fun!”

“Alright, lovebirds, quit blocking the way,” Toph said. She nudged them aside before walking out of the dining hall.

“We’ll see you guys later!” Sokka said. “If you see anything cool that you’d think I’d like—”

“We will,” Katara interrupted, already knowing how her brother’s sentence would end.

“Have fun, you two!” Aang said, following Toph out of the room.

* * *

“There are so many people out today!” Katara said. She squeezed Zuko’s hand gently as they walked down the sidewalk. The bustle of the city seemed more chaotic than usual.

“I’m not sure why,” Zuko said. “Maybe because it’s a weekend?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She moved closer to her boyfriend in an attempt to get out of a woman’s way. “It’s strange though. Good, but strange.”

“I’m sure there are more people on this one street alone than in your tribe,” he joked.

Katara stuck up her nose at him and poked out her tongue. “And whose ancestors’ fault is that?”

He raised his hands—even the one still attached to the waterbender—in mock defeat. “You got me.”

As they passed by a flower stand, Zuko stopped abruptly. He handed a silver piece to the worker and took a single blue poppy. Turning back to look at Katara, he smiled and tucked it into her hair behind her ear. “There. Perfect.”

Katara smiled back. The flower was pretty, and it matched the dress she was wearing—a pale blue one with sheer fabric and off the shoulder sleeves. The designers had picked it out for her, and although she wasn’t used to the style, she had to admit it was flattering on her.

“Why, thank you,” she said dramatically. She grabbed his hand and leaned close to him, pressing a kiss on his scarred cheek.

“Come on,” he said. His breath tickled her ear, and she shivered. “There’s still so much to see.”

They trailed down the streets of the city downtown, taking in every site as if it was the first time seeing it. Katara pointed out the different architecture styles she liked, and Zuko showed her the best tea shops in town—none of which could beat Iroh’s though. Although some of the citizens stopped them to talk, they were mainly left alone to their own devices. It was nice, not having any real responsibilities. They were simply able to talk and enjoy each other’s company.

“Do you want to stop for dinner?” Katara asked after a couple of hours of walking around different shops and stands.

“Actually, I have a different idea,” Zuko said. He squeezed her hand and led her to one of the stands. “Why don’t we have a picnic instead? Would that be okay?”

“Oooh, that sounds fun!” she said. “I’ve actually never really went on a picnic before,” she said.

“Really?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Never.”

“Well, then I’m glad to be the one to take you on your first one,” he flirted. She smiled, and they walked to the counter.

“Can I buy one of those baskets?” Zuko asked, pointing to the wall behind the shop owner.

“Of course, Fire Lord Zuko,” he said. “Which one would you like?”

Zuko turned to face Katara, goading her to pick the one she liked instead. “What about that one on the right?” she said.

“This one?”

“Yes, that one's nice!”

The owner placed the picnic basket on the counter. It was simplistic but cute, with little flowers engraved in the wood on the handle and along the sides.

Zuko gave the owner a gold coin, and the man immediately dropped his face in surprise. “Your Highness,” he stammered, “this is far too much.”

“Just keep it,” he said. “As an act of gratitude for your kindness.”

The man bowed immediately. “Thank you, my Lord.”

He smiled at the shop owner before turning to face Katara. “Are you ready?” he asked, grabbing the basket.

“Yeah, let’s go find something in the market for dinner,” she said.

* * *

“Whoa…this is gorgeous,” Katara said. From where they were sitting on the blanket in the grass, she could see everything from up on the hill. On one side, she could see the city, its little buildings coloring the land red and brown. On the opposite side, she could see the ocean from afar. They decided to settle on the view of the ocean since they spent all day in the city.

“Lu Ten and I found it one day when we were out exploring,” Zuko said. He opened the basket to grab the newly-bought pork dumplings, which were wrapped tightly in thin paper. He placed them between him and Katara before reaching back in the basket for the packaged sauces. Next, he grabbed a container of fries covered in sesame seeds, garlic, and chili flakes with a sauce made of honey and fish sauce. “We shouldn’t have been out of the palace, but he was always adventurous, and I would just go along with it.”

“It must’ve worked in your favor if you found this place,” Katara swooned. “It’s beautiful up here. Does anyone else know about it?”

“Not that I know of.” He poured the container of milk tea into cups for the two of them before passing one to Katara. “I’ve been up here several times, and I’ve never seen anyone.”

“Then, I guess it’ll just have to be our own special place,” she said.

“I’m okay with that,” Zuko said. He pulled one of the dumplings out and dipped it into the sauce before taking a bite.

“I never have furikake fries anymore,” Katara said, grabbing one of the thin slices of potato. She dipped it into the sauce before biting into it. “One thing I love about the Fire Nation is how different our choices in food are. I like trying all the new things,” she said. “Although you could stand to use less spice.”

“I think it’s the other way around,” he said. “You guys need to use more seasonings than just salt.”

“Hey, we do!”

“Tell that to Aang and his love of stewed sea prunes.”

“Touché.” She smiled and popped a dumpling into her mouth.

She leaned her head onto Zuko’s shoulder as they stared off into the sky. It was pink and blue, swirling like strips of paint above the ocean. The sunset was approaching soon.

“Would you ever want to stay here?” he asked. “Maybe not permanently, like you’d be able to go back home and all, but…you know?”

Katara giggled. “Pretty sure I already do that,” she said.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“But yeah, I might,” she said. “The land is gorgeous, especially since reconstruction after the war. I mean—” She motioned to the view in front of them. “Look at all this.”

“Wouldn’t you miss the Southern Water Tribe?”

“Oh, I would,” she said. “But I’d go back there too.” She smiled. “But you’ve got to come with me.”

“I would,” he said. “You’re my home.” He lifted Katara’s hand and pressed it to his lips, kissing the back of it gently.

As the colors in the sky melded together, the sun began to dip down. Katara stood up and walked to the edge of the hill to get a closer view, and Zuko trailed right behind her. She gasped at the sight. Crimson, marmalade, and gold meshed into a beautiful kaleidoscope of warm tones. It seemed to bathe the world in golden light, and the view of the sunset above the ocean’s horizon only made their picnic all the more romantic. It was beautiful.

“Zuko! Isn’t this beautiful?” she asked. “It reminds me of the time after we came back from our life-changing field trip with the Southern—oh!”

As she turned around to face him, she immediately gasped.

Zuko was on one knee.

“Zuko! You…I…”

“Katara, I…I love you so much, and there-there’s not a day in my life that goes by that I don’t want you by my side.” His face was completely red, and his hands were shaking wildly as he held the small box, but he kept pushing through. “Agni, you’ve made my life so-so complete, and I just really just…spirits, I don’t even know what to say. But um, will you…will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Katara immediately grabbed him into a hug, falling on her knees in front of him. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she embraced him tightly. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see how red the tip of his ear was. It just made her squeeze him tighter. “Tui and La, Zuko…of course! A million times, yes!”

He hugged her tighter against him. She could feel him shaking, and she immediately pulled away from his shoulders to kiss him. It was messy but passionate, thousands of emotions running through them.

When they pulled away, Zuko immediately ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were wet, making their golden hue look even prettier. “I didn’t know what to get you. I know the Southern Water Tribe has started doing betrothal necklaces, but hairpieces are standard for the Fire Nation, and I didn’t want to replace your mother’s necklace, but I also don’t want you to feel like your culture is being ignored or that I want you to change your culture for me, so I got you both to be safe because I didn’t want you to hate it, and oh, Agni, I’m definitely rambling because I’m a nervous mess and I just…Agni.”

Katara laughed. She could feel tears streaming down her face wildly, but she didn’t care. “I would never hate it, baby.” She kissed his cheek. “I want to wear both.”

Zuko let out a shaky laugh. “O-okay.” He lifted the necklace out of the box with shaking hands. He walked behind her, and she gathered her hair up to make it easier for him. He kissed the back of her neck before putting the necklace on her collarbones and clasping it in the back. It rested just underneath Kya’s necklace.

Katara hadn’t had a chance to look at it, but as she looked down at the pendant, she gasped in surprise.

“Zuko, did you really carve this yourself?” She fingered the carving. The pendant was made from an opal, smoothed out to make the pattern pop. It looked like literal rainbows streaming through the white stone, and it was absolutely gorgeous. In the center, there was a carving of a moon with a dragon curled around it. Golden accents attached the opal to the chain, and upon closer inspection, she saw they were the Fire Nation and Water Tribe symbols, each enveloped into the other as if they were one.

“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s supposed to be where our bending came from, where we learned them. Just like how I learned how to trust and love from you.” Katara smiled and resisted the urge to grab him into another hug. “There were a lot of test runs though. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It is,” she said as tears still poured down her face. “It’s stunning. I love it.”

“There are a bunch of different styles of the hairpieces, but I wanted it to fit you,” Zuko said. He pulled two, small beads out of the box. “They’re for your hair loopies.”

Katara smiled. She immediately took her hair loopies out and pulled the blue beads out of them. She put them in the little box for safekeeping, and Zuko handed her the two, new beads.

They were equally stunning, made of gold and carved like the necklace was. However, instead of a moon and a dragon, they each held one side of the yin and yang symbols. On one bead, there was yin, which looked like water splashing upward. On the other bead, there was yang, which resembled a curling flame. Within yin, there was a sun; within yang, there was a moon.

“They’re beautiful,” she said as she inspected the tiny engravings. She slid a bead on each of her loopies, filling the empty space left behind by her old beads.

She immediately grabbed Zuko into another embrace. “I love you,” she cried. “I love you so, so much. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you too,” he said. “I love you more each day.”

They stayed like that, kneeling on the grass as the sun sank below the horizon.

* * *

When they went back to the palace, they were immediately met with complaints.

“Where were you guys?” Aang asked. He bent the air underneath him, helping him down from the top of the couch where he was sitting. “You missed dinner!”

“Yeah, you were gone all day,” Sokka said.

“Mind explaining why you were gone for several hours on end?” Toph said.

“Katara…” Suki said. Her tone was much different than the others’, and it made Katara look towards her. She noticed that her sister-in-law’s eyes were facing her neck. “You…”

She immediately pulled Katara into a hug. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Wait, what?” Toph asked. “I’m confused. What’s happening?”

“Beats me,” Sokka said. “I don’t know either.”

“I’m engaged!” Katara cried. She let go of Suki and immediately pushed her hair back to reveal her betrothal necklace.

The couple was immediately met with shrieks of joy, and the group all seemed to topple them at once.

“Spirits, I can’t believe it!”

“No wonder your heartbeats are all over the place!”

“Congratulations, you two!”

“Oh, let me see!” Suki exclaimed. She leaned closer to inspect Katara’s necklace. The longer she looked, the more emotion welled up in her eyes. “It’s beautiful. Zuko, you did a great job!”

“I wanna see!” Sokka said. Suki scooted over a little to allow her husband to see the betrothal necklace. His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Whoa, that looks really good.”

“It really does!” Aang agreed, peering over Sokka’s shoulder. “How did you get all the little details engraved in that pendant?”

“Can I see?” Toph asked. Katara grabbed the girl’s hand and guided it up to her neck to run her fingers over the carving.

“It’s a dragon around a moon,” Zuko said, watching as Toph dragged her fingertips over the pendant.

“That’s so cool,” Toph said.

“And I also got new beads,” Katara said, lifting Toph’s hand to feel the engravings on those too. “Since the Fire Nation gives out hairpieces, Zuko wanted to do both.”

“Ooh, I want to see those too!” Suki said. When Toph removed her hand, she looked at the beads on her loopies, the yin and yang symbols facing outward. “Whoa, that’s such a cute idea!”

“I’m excited for you,” Sokka said, clapping a hand over Zuko’s shoulder. “I guess this means you’re going to be my brother.”

“Can’t wait for that,” Zuko said sarcastically. However, they both knew it was a joke. Aang and Sokka hugged Zuko, and Suki and Toph embraced Katara before they all joined in a large group hug.

“So when’s the wedding, Sparky?”

He laughed. “We haven’t planned anything, but when we pick a date, you’ll be the first to know, Toph.”

She grinned. “Good. I’d better be.”

They stood together in the large palace room, hugging and squeezing each other in elation. Katara felt lighter. She couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with Zuko, to wake up with him every morning, to stay by his side.

“You’ll be a great Fire Lady,” Suki said.

“Imagine how the council members will take to that,” Aang laughed. “A girl from the Southern Water Tribe—a waterbender, nonetheless—as the Fire Lady.”

“Hey, they’ve been telling me for months to find a Fire Lady and start having heirs,” Zuko said. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Katara grinned and rested her head against Zuko’s shoulder. She really couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, I couldn’t write the proposal without stopping every two sentences to squeal to myself. I’m so grateful my roommate isn’t in the dorm because I’d have some explaining to do. I've been waiting for this over two dozen chapters ago, so now you get a super quick update.
> 
> Also, I've started brainstorming a little bit, but I want your opinions. If you have any song recommendations for their first dance together at their wedding, please let me know in the comments!
> 
> This chapter made me all warm and fuzzy on the inside, and I hope it had the same effect on you too! :)


	54. Announcing the News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Katara tell their families about their engagement.

Lounging around in the sitting room, her legs thrown over Zuko’s thighs, was Katara’s absolute favorite way to relax. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, the new, gold beads holding her hair loopies in place. She leaned back against the armrest of the loveseat, a cup of green tea in her hands to warm them up.

“When do you want to start announcing our engagement?” Zuko asked. He ran his fingers over Katara’s clothed legs, playing with the fabric that separated their skin.

“What do you think?” she asked. She took a sip of the tea, letting its warmth glide down her throat smoothly.

“Personally, I think we should tell our family first,” he said. “My mom, your dad, Uncle, your grandmother…I want them to know before the rest of the Fire Nation.”

“I like the sound of that,” she said. “We should be the ones to tell them. I know I’d hate to hear about my child getting married thanks to gossip from strangers.”

Zuko let his fingers wander up past her calves. He tapped on her kneecap twice mindlessly. “Do you want to go back to the South Pole and tell them in person?”

She put her cheek in her palm. “I don’t know,” she said. “Is it too soon to go back?”

Zuko shrugged. “It’s been like two or three months. That’s up to you. I’ll let you make the call, and whatever you choose, I’ll support you.”

She smiled and rested her head against Zuko’s shoulder. “Thank you.” He lifted his arms to cradle his fiancée in his lap, holding her close to him. She felt his skin heat up slightly to soothe her, and she relaxed under the warmth.

They sat in silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s company. One of Zuko’s hands rested comfortably on her thigh, the other around her shoulders as he held her. She felt her breathing slow down, and her eyelids began to droop.

Just before she fell asleep, she lifted her head and whispered, “We can send a letter to my family, but your family lives close to the palace. We should tell them in person.”

“Are you sure?” His breath was warm against her skin, and she shivered.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She smiled. “I want to see at least one of our parents’ reactions.”

Zuko grinned and held her tighter. “Thank you, Katara,” he whispered back. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and she put her head back on his shoulder. She mumbled a soft ‘you’re welcome’ before letting her eyes flutter shut and falling asleep, cuddled in her fiancé’s arms.

* * *

“Have you seen Uncle?” Zuko asked, sticking his head into the courtyard where Sokka and Toph were sparring. Aang and Suki sat on the sidelines watching. They all turned their heads to look at him as he passed through the doorway, Katara trailing behind him.

“I think he’s in that one side room near your office,” Sokka said. He ducked just as a boulder flew at his head.

“Really? I thought he was in the kitchen,” Aang said.

“Go easy on him, Toph,” Suki said. “I want my baby to grow up with a father.”

“Oh, relax, Painted Face. He’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Su—ow! Hey! Watch the face!”

Toph cackled and tossed another rock his way.

“Where have you been, by the way?” Suki asked. “You’ve been gone all afternoon.”

“I fell asleep,” Katara answered. “I didn’t realize how worn out I’ve been with all the ambassador meetings and letters to send out. I guess I needed a nap.”

“And she fell asleep on me, so I couldn’t get up,” Zuko clarified. “So that’s where I’ve been too.”

“Nice,” Sokka said. He slashed his sword into a rock hurling towards him. “But yeah, Uncle Iroh’s in one of those two places.”

“Thanks!” Zuko called, about to rush off back through the entrance of the courtyard.

“Wait!” Aang called. “Have you told him yet?”

Katara grinned. “That’s what we’re about to do right now!”

Toph dropped the boulder in her hold. “Great! Let me come!”

“Toph, no,” Aang said.

“Why not? Don’t you want to see Uncle Iroh’s reaction?”

“Aww, he would adore the news,” Suki said. She rubbed her hand on her belly as she thought about it. “That would be fun to see.”

“See?” Toph said.

“Let them tell him in privacy,” Aang said.

“Can we at least wait in the hall to hear his reaction?” She turned to look towards the engaged couple. Zuko shrugged, and Toph smiled immediately. “Sweet!”

“Are you saying I’m losing my sparring buddy?” Sokka said dramatically. He draped a hand over his forehead. “I’m hurt.”

“I’m not losing you if you’re coming with me,” Toph said.

They all followed Zuko and Katara out of the courtyard and down the hall to find Iroh. However, it didn’t take long to spot him with Toph’s sensitive feet.

“He’s over there,” she said, pointing to a side room. “In the one on the right.”

“Stay out here,” Katara pleaded. “At least until we’ve told him.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Sokka said.

Zuko took Katara’s hand gently within his own. “Ready?”

She squeezed his hand back. “Of course.” He smiled back at her before turning to face the closed door. He knocked on the thick wood, letting it rattle under her knuckles.

“Come in!” Iroh called.

“Here goes,” Katara whispered. Zuko squeezed her hand gently and pushed the door open.

“Nephew! It’s nice to see you!” Iroh said. He gave him a warm smile, immediately welcoming him in. “And Lady Katara! Come sit!” He motioned to the sofa opposite of his. “I was just making myself some tea. Would you like some?”

“We actually had some earlier,” Katara said. Zuko snorted, already knowing his uncle’s response.

“You can never get tired of good tea. Please, have another cup.” Without waiting for an answer, he pulled out two more teacups and began filling them with the freshly-made tea. Zuko could smell the leaves instantly, detecting that it was lavender and chamomile.

“Thank you,” Katara said, accepting the cup. She pressed her cold fingers against it instead of drinking it.

“Several members of the White Lotus wanted me to congratulate you,” Iroh said. He took a sip from his cup. “Word of your law and dedication to your citizens has spread to the other nations. They’ve also heard about how you’ve been going into the city more. That’s typically unheard of for royalty—especially in the Fire Nation.”

“They’re my people,” Zuko said. “I want to know them personally.”

Iroh smiled. “That’s very noble. You’re a very honorable man.”

“Thanks, Uncle,” Zuko said, smiling back softly. “But that’s actually not what we’re here to talk about.” Iroh raised an eyebrow at him and waited patiently for his response. Zuko looked over at Katara, who nodded at him to goad him forward.

“We’re getting married,” Zuko said. He looked towards his fiancée, who pushed back her head to better reveal her betrothal necklace.

Iroh’s eyes widened exponentially, and his jaw dropped. However, once it finally registered, his mouth shaped into an immense smile.

“I’m so happy for you!” he exclaimed, sweeping them both into a tight hug. “You will make a beautiful family.”

“Thank you,” Katara said, smiling back widely as she hugged him back. After a few moments, she released him, letting him have a one-on-one embrace with Zuko.

“And I am especially proud of you, my nephew,” Iroh said into Zuko’s ear. He hugged him tightly, placing one of his hands on the back of the younger man’s head to cradle him. “You have become such an amazing man, and you will be such a good husband.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko said, resting his chin on Iroh’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for a few more seconds before breaking apart.

“Does anyone know yet?” he asked.

“Just you, Aang, Toph, Sokka, and Suki,” Katara said. “No one else knows yet. Not the Fire Sages, officials, council members…none of them.”

“You need to tell them soon,” he said. “Plenty of time before the wedding.”

“We will,” Zuko said.

“Do you know when the wedding will be yet?”

“No,” he said. “Toph just asked us that too. We haven’t picked a date though. I mean, we just got engaged last night.”

Iroh smiled, his amber eyes gleaming as they met Katara’s. “You have to tell me how it went,” he said. “Preferably over a cup of tea.”

“I can do that,” she said, smiling at the man.

He grinned again. He grabbed them both into another hug. Zuko could hear his uncle sniffle in his ear.

“I’m so, so happy,” he said. His voice was watery with tears.

Outside in the hallway, Zuko could hear muffled squeals. He smiled into Iroh’s arm, letting his own tears fall freely down his cheeks.

* * *

As the ship docked on the side of the small village, Zuko felt his heart pound rapidly. He leaned on Katara slightly, resting his weight on her slightly. Just her presence seemed to ground him.

_Breathe._

“Are you okay?” Katara asked. Her sapphire eyes were wide as they stared up into her fiancé’s.

“Yeah,” he said. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it, more to calm himself than her. “I’m just nervous.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “They’re going to be so happy for you, so try not to worry.” She leaned back against him.

“I know, but I’m still antsy. It’s not like Uncle, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Katara said. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his jaw. “But I’m with you. It’s going to be okay.”

He nodded. “I know,” he said. He kissed her forehead. “I know,” he repeated under his breath.

Hand-in-hand, they walked down the ramp of the ship. They strolled across the dock and towards the village, and Katara let her eyes wander every which way.

“It’s so quaint,” she said.

“What?” Zuko asked. “Hira’a?”

“Yeah,” she said. She twisted her head to look at all the little shops. “It’s so cute. It’s a nice village.”

“Look, there’s Noren’s theater.” Zuko pointed to the left past Katara’s head. She turned to look, and her eyes lit up immediately upon seeing the tall, decorative outside, the colorful mural reflecting in her sapphire orbs.

“Oh, that’s beautiful!” she said in awe. “That’s the prettiest theater I’ve ever seen.”

Zuko snorted. “The only other comparison you have is the one on Ember Island.”

Katara gave him a look, but a small smile still pulled at her lips. “Whatever. It’s still pretty.”

He looped his arm around her, resting his hand on the small of her back. “They live just at the edge of the city,” he said. “Hopefully, they’re home.”

“You didn’t tell them we were coming?” she asked incredulously. She whipped her head to look at him, her sapphire eyes shining.

“It’s a surprise?” he said.

“You’re insufferable,” she laughed, swatting at his bicep. “It’s a good thing I love you.”

As they continued through the village—pointing out different buildings and sites, they eventually made it to the edge of the village. It wasn’t a long walk, as it wasn’t a large town. However, this section of Hira’a was much less crowded. There were a few houses scattered along the grassy hills, but it was barely considered a neighborhood. They all had beige walls, brown roofs, and large windows. However, they knew immediately which house was Noren and Ursa’s. It was the only one with a garden, and a couple of Kiyi’s toys were abandoned on the front lawn.

Zuko reached the front door and knocked on the thick wood with the hand that wasn’t holding Katara’s. They waited for several seconds, but there was no answer.

“Do you think they’re home?” Katara asked.

“I don’t know. Should I knock again?”

Out of the corner of Zuko’s right eye, he noticed the blinds move slightly. He turned his head to look at the window, and a set of wide, brown eyes met his. However, they disappeared immediately as they made eye contact. He heard a little gasp and the sound of little feet pattering across the floor. It only took a moment for the door to swing open.

“Zuzu!” Kiyi shouted. She launched herself towards her brother, who immediately scooped her up into his arms.

“Hey, Kee,” he said, hauling her up onto his hip.

“What are you doing here?”

“What are _you_ doing here?”

“I live here!”

“Are you sure?” Zuko looked around the house dramatically. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before. I’m pretty sure the only people that live here are Mom and Noren.”

“No! I live here too! That’s my ball!” She stuck a little finger out to point at the rubber toy in the yard. 

“Hmmm.” He held his chin with the hand that wasn’t supporting Kiyi as he pretended to think. “But that ball’s blue, and your favorite color is pink, so that can’t be yours.”

“No, I do live here!”

“Alright, if you say you live here, then I guess I’ll trust you.”

The little girl giggled. “You’re silly.”

“No, I’m Zuko.” Kiyi laughed at his terrible joke, but Katara just gave him a look.

_Really, dad jokes? You’re worse than Sokka,_ her eyes said.

“What? You didn’t like that?” he asked her. He leaned over to kiss his fiancée’s cheek, and Kiyi squealed. “Come on, Kee,” he said as he pulled away from Katara. “Let’s go find Mom and Noren.”

They walked through the doorway, with Kiyi still hitched up on her older brother’s hip as he carried her through the house. They didn’t have to go far, since they saw Ursa almost immediately upon entering the kitchen. She had a mortar and pestle on the counter in front of her, grinding up an unknown herb.

“Mom?” Zuko called.

Ursa turned around immediately and smiled all the way up to her eyes. She rested the pestle in the mortar and hurried over to hug her son. “Zuko, what are you doing here?” she asked, holding him tightly, despite the fact that Kiyi was still in his arms. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“We wanted to drop by,” he said. “Think of it as a surprise.”

“Oh, Katara! You came by too!” She turned to hug the young woman. “I’m so glad you stopped by.”

“It’s nice to see you again, Lady Ursa,” Katara said as they broke the embrace.

“Honey, who’s that?” a voice called from another room. Noren stuck his head into the doorframe, and his eyes widened upon seeing his stepson and Katara in the kitchen. “Oh! When did you two show up?”

“Just a minute ago,” Katara answered. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“Mommy, tell Zuzu that I _do_ live here?”

“What?”

“What brings you here?” Noren asked, ignoring Kiyi’s seemingly odd request.

“We actually have something important to tell you,” Zuko said. He felt Katara’s hand slide into his, immediately grounding him and calming his racing heart rate. “We’re engaged.”

Ursa’s hands flew up to her mouth in shock, but it only lasted a moment. Before the couple was aware of what was going on, she had pulled them both into a tight hug. Tears streamed down her face, but she ignored them.

“I’m so happy for you!” she cried. “This is wonderful! Does Iroh know?”

“We told him before coming here,” Katara said with a nod.

Ursa pulled away, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “My baby’s all grown up.”

“I haven’t been your baby in two decades.”

“Oh, you’ll always be my baby.”

“I’m proud of you,” Noren said. He brought Zuko into an embrace and patted his back twice before pulling away. “You’ll make a fine husband.”

“Thanks,” Zuko said. It was impossible to hide his smile, so he just embraced it.

“You’re going to be such a beautiful bride,” Ursa swooned. She held Katara’s hands within her own and smiled at her.

“Zuzu, what does that mean?” Kiyi asked. Her brown eyes were wide, and her eyebrows were arched up in confusion. “Engaged?”

“It means we’re going to get married,” Zuko answered.

Kiyi’s eyes grew wide. “Does that mean you’re going to live in the palace, Katara?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sweet smile.

“And she’s going to be the Fire Lady,” Noren added. He had a sort of sly excitement behind his eyes.

Kiyi smiled widely. “Whoaaa…that’s so cool!” Her eyes lit up with excitement, and she stared at Katara like she was a princess.

“We’re going to be sisters-in-law,” Katara said. She knelt down to meet her height, and the little girl immediately ran to her. She hugged her close, and Katara wrapped her arms around her.

“You’re really nice,” Kiyi said. “I want you as my sister.”

“And you’re super sweet, and I want you as my sister too,” Katara said. She poked the tip of the girl’s nose. “I always wanted a younger sister, you know that?”

“Me too!” Kiyi said.

Zuko smiled as he watched the interaction between Katara and Kiyi. His heart felt so full, and he could feel his cheeks heating with love. He barely noticed the hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Ursa’s soft smile and Noren’s kind eyes.

Despite everything that happened, he couldn’t be more grateful for his family. This side of it, anyway.

* * *

_Dad and Gran Gran,_

_I hope you two are doing really well. I miss you so much! As much as I like spending time at the Fire Nation, it’s nice to be home with you as well._

_I have really exciting news for you! Zuko and I are engaged! We had a really romantic picnic on a hilltop when he asked me to marry him. He carved both a betrothal necklace and a hairpiece (specifically beads for my hair loopies), and spirits, they’re gorgeous!! The necklace has a dragon wrapped around a moon, and the beads each have one half of the Yin and Yang symbol. I can’t wait to show you them in person—especially you, Gran Gran._

_We don’t know if we’re going to have our wedding in the Fire Nation or the Southern Water Tribe yet, but we’ll send a messenger hawk as soon as we decide. However, the Fire Sages want us to get married pretty quickly, so you’ll probably get that hawk sooner rather than later._

_I love you, and I can’t wait to see you again! The next time will probably be for our wedding. That’s so weird to say. I’m getting married!_

_Love,_

_Katara_

_P.S. Thank you for giving me your blessing. Hopefully, I can make her just as happy as she’s made me. -Zuko_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me much longer to put out than I hoped. Even though it's only the first week of college, I've already had several homework assignments, discussion posts, readings, two quizzes, and I have to give a speech. It's so chaotic. I'm trying to write when I can, so if you see two or three chapters posted back-to-back, it just means I finally have the time.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It was hard because it felt kind of repetitive, but hopefully, you liked it anyway. :)


	55. Excitement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Katara continue telling the others about their engagement as they begin planning the wedding.

Katara tapped her fingers on the sleek wood of the table. Several documents sat in front of her, a mixture of lists, random ideas, and words scribbled on various slabs of parchment. The more she looked at the papers, the more panicked she became.

“Suki?” she asked.

“Hmm?” The other girl didn’t even so much as look up from the paper in front of her. Her quill was fast at work, penning characters quicker than imaginable.

“How did you manage to plan your wedding without getting so stressed out?” Katara asked. She ran her fingers through her hair, her nails brushing her scalp. “I feel like there’s so much to do and not enough time.”

“Oh, I was definitely stressed,” she said with a laugh. “Don’t let my calm demeanor fool you.” She stuck the quill pen into the inkwell and wiped the black smudges off her fingers with a piece of cloth. “What are you on right now?”

“A little bit of everything?” Katara rustled through the papers, flipping them around to show Suki. “I need to get the food, flowers, and invites figured out. Zuko and I still don’t know where we’re having the wedding yet, so we can’t plan for the venue yet. Plus, the designers want to meet with me about my dress. All while trying to keep it under wraps until we officially announce our engagement.”

“Do you have a bunch of outfit changes like weddings in my culture?”

“No, it’s just one dress.”

“Well, that’s good, at least! Less to plan.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But it’s still a lot,” Katara sighed. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to get it all done in time. The Fire Sages want us to get married soon, so Zuko and I are just rushing to get everything done.”

“Why do they want you to marry so quickly?” Suki asked.

“They say that Zuko’s bachelorhood is dangerous. If we’re married, it secures the royal family and allows him to continue to the bloodline.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I kind of understand, but in the same sense, that should be Zuko’s decision—not theirs.”

“I get that,” Suki said, nodding in agreement. “Are you and Zuko the only ones working on it?”

“No, thankfully, we have a couple people helping to plan the wedding,” Katara answered. “Only a few trustworthy ones who won’t tell anyone about our engagement just yet. It’s still a lot though. I don’t know. I’m going to walk down the aisle with gray hairs.”

“Oh, don’t say that!” Suki laughed. “You know that if you need more help, Sokka and I are here. And remember: on the day of the wedding, it’ll feel so worth it.”

“That’s the only thing keeping me sane right now,” she admitted.

“It’ll all work out,” Suki said. “Just make sure you don’t overwork yourself. Take some time to just relax for a little bit.” She placed her hand over Katara’s. “You’ll feel better for it.”

“Thanks, Suki,” Katara said with a smile. “Now, do you think we should have fire lilies or water lilies?”

* * *

Zuko sat on the stiff couch in the institution. His palms were sweating, no matter how often he rubbed them against his pants. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He didn’t remember being this nervous last time.

The door opened, and he turned his head. A worker in pale pink entered the doorway, wheeling a dormant Azula in with her. She rolled the wheelchair to the table in front of Zuko, allowing the siblings to face each other.

“You can leave us alone,” Zuko said, turning to look at the worker.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I would like the privacy, please.”

She nodded. “Of course, Fire Lord Zuko.” She bowed and left him alone with his sister.

“Zuzu, how nice to see you again,” Azula drawled. She let her lips raise into a smirk. “I see you didn’t bring any company with you this time.”

“Nope, it’s just me,” he said. _Breathe, it’ll be okay._ He swallowed his nervousness before meeting his sister’s eyes once more. “How have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Sitting around all day. Popping pills. Talking about my feelings. You know, fun stuff.” Her grin was sly and teasing, but her amber eyes were sad. Zuko understood the feeling well enough.

“The doctors wrote to me recently,” he said. “They said you were talking about Mom again.”

Azula went silent.

“You don’t need to talk about her to me if you don’t want to.”

“Good. I wasn’t going to anyway.”

Zuko nodded. “Is there anything you do want to talk about?”

“Why did you come here?” Azula asked. She squinted at him. “I know you’re not here just to keep me company.”

“I’ve done it before,” Zuko said. “It hasn’t been the first time, and it won’t be the last either.”

“I know you, Zuzu,” she said. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“No,” he said. “It’s not.”

“Then, enlighten me.” She leaned back in her wheelchair and smiled.

“I’m getting married,” Zuko said.

Azula scowled.

“To that Water Tribe peasant.”

“To _Katara_ ,” he corrected.

“It’s all the same.” She slumped over as she crossed her arms. “You’re choosing her over me,” she mumbled. “Everyone always chooses someone else over me.”

“It isn’t like that,” Zuko said. “I love her.”

“She put me in here!” Azula snapped.

“No, I did,” he said. “I put you in here. For your safety.”

“But she was responsible for it.” She glared at her brother with a sharp look in her eyes. “She chained me up. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here!”

“And neither would I,” Zuko said. “Is that what you want?”

Azula scowled at him, but she remained silent. He could tell in her eyes that she was too proud to tell him the truth. That she honestly did want him alive.

“Do you want to come to the wedding?” Zuko asked. His voice was no louder than a whisper, but the room was so quiet that his voice rang clear.

“No. I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to see any of them.” She looked back down at her hands in her lap. “I don’t think they want to see me either.”

“They’re willing to give you a chance,” Zuko said. He reached forward to rest his hand on Azula’s kneecap. She tensed up and shied away from his touch, so he pulled his hand back. “They’re some of the most forgiving people I’ve ever met. I know I don’t deserve their kindness, but they’ve still chosen to be my friends anyway. I know they won’t hold this against you, especially if you’ve changed.”

“Who said I’ve changed?” she snapped.

“I can see you’re working on it,” he said, “even if you don’t see it yourself.”

“I don’t want to go to your stupid wedding, especially if it’s with that filthy peasant.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“I don’t care.”

Zuko dropped his eyebrow. “If you change your mind, let me know.” He stood up. “You know I still love you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. I hate what happened between us. I want it to be like how it was when we were kids. Remember that?”

“I don’t want to think about the past.”

Zuko nodded. “Then, don’t.”

She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“What’s the real reason why you don’t want to go?”

Azula lowered her head. She pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t. I don’t want to see her.”

“Mom?”

“Don’t say her name.”

“She wants you to get better,” Zuko said. “I’m sure she’d love to see you there.”

Azula didn’t answer.

“The offer’s still on the table if you change your mind,” Zuko said. He touched her shoulder gently before walking away, going towards the door. He twisted the doorknob and nodded to the worker outside before leaving.

* * *

_Dear Katara and Zuko,_

_Congratulations on your engagement! I was wondering how long it would take before you finally popped the question, Sunshine!_

_Don’t tell him I said this, but Hakoda started crying the second he read the letter. Not cutesy, little tears, but big, ugly sobs. I know he’s so happy for you both, but he’s scared to lose his little girl. Not that you’re so little anymore, but it’s different. You two will understand when you become parents._

_I can’t wait to see the necklace and beads! I’m sure they turned out marvelous!_

_I’m sure some of the servants in the Fire Nation are making your dress, Snowflake, but I still wanted to play a part in making your outfit. I’m working on a shawl right now. Let me know as soon as you can what color dress you plan to have. I don’t want them to clash._

_I can’t wait to see you, and I know Hakoda feels the same way. I love you both, and I’m looking forward to seeing you again—whether that’s in the Fire Nation or the Southern Water Tribe._

_With love,_

_Gran Gran_

* * *

“Are you ready?” Katara whispered. Her sapphire eyes shined brightly, and her smile made Zuko’s heart race. Her hair was pulled up into a traditional Fire Nation style with her signature Water Tribe loops. Her dress was cut like those of his people’s outfits, but it was blue. She was stunning.

“As ready as I can be,” he whispered. He could already hear the crowd of people waiting for them, the advisor that was preparing to announce them. His anxiety bubbled in his throat, but he swallowed it down.

“Do you think they’ll accept me?” Her eyes were wide. She looked more nervous than he felt.

“Of course.” Zuko leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Her skin was so soft underneath his lips. “They love you. At least, the ones who aren’t as old as Aang, at least.” Katara cracked a smile. “But you’ve done so much for them—for everyone. They recognize that. They’ll be happy. I know it.”

She gave a shaky nod. “Okay,” she said. “I trust you.”

He squeezed her hand gently before bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back of it.

“People of the Fire Nation,” a loud voice announced from the opposite side of the curtain, “It is my honor to present to you Fire Lord Zuko and his consort, Lady Katara of the Southern Water Tribe.”

The crowd erupted in cheers, and Zuko turned to Katara. “Guess that’s our call.” She smiled, and together, they walked hand-in-hand to see their people.

Pushing through the curtain, they were immediately awarded with the shouting and applause of hundreds of people of all backgrounds, ages, and social classes. With lifted arms, they waved and praised their arrival.

After a few moments, Zuko raised his hand to silence them. As the volume decreased, he lifted his chin.

“Citizens of the Fire Nation,” he announced, his voice clear and reverent. “it is my honor to present you with a special announcement.” His heart raced wildly in his chest, and anxiety clawed at his throat. However, he kept his expression blank, his features stilled. He didn’t want to show them how nervous he really was.

However, as Katara squeezed his hand, he felt his worries melt. He was standing up here because he loved her. He wanted to marry her, and he wanted his people to know that. He squeezed her hand back.

“A year and a half ago, we announced our courtship,” he said. “But we stand before you today to announce our engagement instead.” Several gasps broke the silence. Zuko smiled. “I would like to officially announce my and Katara’s betrothal,” he continued. “We will be getting married in the following months.”

The entire crowd flooded with noise. He thought that they were loud when he’d first told them that the two were courting. But that was nothing compared to this.

It was hard to tell apart the crowd’s reaction as a whole. Everyone was screaming wildly. Most were cheering, and some even appeared to be crying. However, several nobles and superiors looked shocked. His council members, who were standing towards the front, looked irate.

Zuko took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know many of you hold fears about our future Fire Lady hailing from the Water Tribe. However, lest I remind you that Lady Katara has done so much—not just for our nation, but for the others as well. Our marriage will also be good politically and will help bind the Fire Nation to the Southern Water Tribe. Having her people as an alliance, as a trading partner, and as our friends will be good for our people. But over everything, I am marrying for love.” He turned his head to look towards her. She was already looking at him, her eyes glistening and her smile wide. “I love her, and for the few who currently do not, then I know you will grow to love her too.”

He didn’t know what he expected, but the eruption of cheers definitely was not it. Despite a handful of raging, wealthier citizens, the vast majority of the crowd looked ecstatic.

He raised her hand and kissed the back of it.

He couldn’t wait to marry her.

* * *

_To Katara and Zuko:_

_I knew this day was coming. Really, I think I knew since the days we had to peel you away from Zuko’s bedside after Sozin’s Comet. I knew back then how much you cared about each other then, but now, that love for each other has only grown stronger._

_Snowflake, it’s hard to let you go. I watched you grow from a bouncy, little girl to a strong, passionate, young woman. Although I wish I could’ve seen you grow each step of the way, I know our time apart has only made you stronger. I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and although I wish I could keep you with me forever, I know Zuko will be good for you. I also know that Kya is proud of you too. Even in death, she’s with you, watching you take this next big journey in life. She always used to talk about what you would grow up to be like—no matter how much I told her to stop because I couldn’t bear to have you grow up that fast. But I know that she would be so, so proud. You’re going to be a beautiful bride. We both love you, my Snowflake._

_Zuko, I’m proud to have you as my future son-in-law. I know you’re probably nervous about this, so you probably need to hear me say it. You’re going to be an amazing husband. I wouldn’t let Katara be with you if I didn’t trust you to take care of her. When you saved her from the lightning, I knew that you would always protect her, and I know you’ll never stop protecting her. I’m proud to call you my son._

_You two bring out the best in each other. I’m counting down the days until I can see you again._

_Best Regards,_

_Hakoda_

* * *

“Okay, I have a fantastic idea!” Sokka exclaimed. His hands were spread out dramatically in enthusiasm, and Katara couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“No, you can’t spar while drunk.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“You can’t take Momo to the royal spa either,” Suki said.

“That wasn’t—”

“Oh, and don’t see how many slices of komodo chicken you can fit in your mouth at once,” Toph added with a sly grin. “That didn’t go well last time.”

“No, I was going to say we should all go back to Ember Island,” Sokka said. “I think we’re long overdue for a family trip.”

“Sokka, we have a wedding to plan,” Zuko said. “We really don’t have time to go on a vacation.”

“But that’s exactly why we need one!” he said. “Look, you two are super stressed about this whole planning thing, but you can afford to take a week off. Besides, you have several people in the palace helping you plan anyway.”

“I like that idea,” Aang said with a smile. “We could all use the vacation.”

“But the wed—”

“Sokka’s right,” Suki said, turning to Katara. “You especially have been spreading yourself too thin, and you’re too stressed for your own good. You need this.”

“Yeah, don’t want wrinkles on your big day,” Toph joked.

“As if you’d be able to see them anyway,” Zuko shot back. However, the blind girl just laughed.

“Only a week?” Katara asked.

“Only a week,” Sokka said.

“Well…” she turned to her fiancé. “I mean…I guess we could take a short break. Do you think your nation will be okay without you?”

“They should be fine,” Zuko said. “My council members can handle it, and Uncle Iroh can handle them.”

“Alright, let’s do it!” Aang cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only five more chapters left to go! It's kind of bittersweet, but I knew it was coming eventually.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! :) Thank you again for all the love and support!


	56. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang enjoys a day on the beach, and they have several soft conversations.

Katara didn’t know what it was. Maybe she was craving the scent of saltwater, or maybe she just missed the texture of sand under her feet. Maybe the weather was a bit too perfect, or maybe she was just _that_ stressed.

However, regardless of the reasoning, there was something so satisfying—so soothing—about being back at Ember Island.

“I don’t know why we don’t just live here permanently,” Toph said. Momo crawled over to her and dropped a papaya onto the ground in front of her. She bent a chunk of rock out of the earth and crushed the fruit with it. The juices sank into a stone cup she’d created.

“I wish we could. This would be the life,” Suki said. She accepted the cup from Toph and immediately began drinking from it.

“It’s a shame we have so much work to do,” Aang said. “I mean, we’ve got the Avatar, Soon-to-be Chief of a village, Ambassador and Master Waterbender, Fire Lord, Leader of an elite warrior group, and the only metalbender and human lie detector in the word with us. We’ve definitely got our work cut out for us.”

“Does anyone else want a drink?” Toph asked, crushing a mango into another cup and handing it to Aang.

“Ooh! I do!” Sokka said.

“Yes, please!” Katara added.

“Sparky, you want one?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

“Alright, let me know if you change your mind.” Toph took another papaya from Momo and crushed it again.

“Why do we even have to be the leaders of the next generation?” Sokka whined. “I say we just get into the fruit juice business.”

“As if,” Suki said with a laugh.

“What? If we set up business in the Si Wong Desert, we could totally make a huge profit!”

“There’s already a fruit juice business there,” Aang said. “In the Misty Palms Oasis, remember?”

“Competition is good for businesses!” Sokka retorted.

“Either way, Momo and I would be the only ones working,” Toph said. “The rest of you lazybones are just taking the rewards.”

“Still a good idea,” Sokka said. He sipped his drink loudly, slurping it up, and Katara immediately knocked it out of his hand. “Hey!”

“Do you mind?” she snapped. “How are we supposed to have a nice, _relaxing_ vacation when you’re being loud and annoying?” She bent the juice off the ground and motioned it back into Sokka’s cup.

“Gross, it touched the ground,” Sokka said. He peered down into his cup with disgust.

“I didn’t bend the earth with it. It’s just your juice.”

Sokka still made a face.

“Listen here, Clean Freak,” Toph said. “There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of earth in your diet. Heck, you’re probably drinking some just by using that cup I made.”

“Are you sure he’s ready to be a father?” Aang whispered to Suki.

She shrugged. “He’d better be. There are no takebacks.”

* * *

“Whatcha doing, Sparky?” Toph asked, peering around the firebender.

Zuko turned his head back to look at the blind girl behind him. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you just burying Sokka in the sand with Aang?”

Toph grinned. “It doesn’t take long when you’ve got two earthbenders. Plus, he’s already buried, and I was getting sick of listening to him freak out whenever the water started coming close to him.” She poked Zuko in the side with her index finger. “Now, you didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m collecting shells,” he answered. “Uncle used to do this all the time whenever we’d go to a beach. And Azula would make me find shells to help her decorate her sandcastles when we were children.” He reached down and picked up a coquina shell, small and pale gray. “It just brings me back.”

“Don’t you get sad?” Toph asked, deciding to walk along the shore with him. “Especially if it makes you think of your family?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes. But it’s nice too.” He grabbed Toph’s hand and placed the shell in her palm before closing her fingers over it. “Do you want to come?”

“Sure. Anything’s better than listening to Sokka cry about water.”

He smiled, and the two walked farther away from the others. The sun was high in the sky, and Zuko soaked in its warmth. His shirt was off, abandoned with the others’ belongings, and it allowed the sun’s rays to hit his bare back.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Toph grumbled. “The sand is so hot. It’s burning my feet!”

“I’m a firebender,” he said.

“Doesn’t mean you’re immune to getting burned, Sparky. Didn’t you learn that the hard way?”

“It’s just sand. It feels nice.”

“Whatever.” Toph blew her bangs out of her face and kicked the sand as she walked. “If I weren’t blind, I would totally have some shoes on right now.”

“No, that’s worse. Sand is so hard to get out of sandals.”

“Can’t you just brush it off?”

“It sticks to the straps, and it gets all gritty.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it’s bad.”

They continued walking down the coast, leaving two pairs of footprints behind them in the sand. Toph stepped closer to the water to cool down her soles, and Zuko followed her down to the ocean.

“Can you see the shells?” he asked. “Not color or anything, but can you feel them?”

“Not well,” she answered. “I can feel something, but the sand makes my vision so blurry that it’s hard to tell. Honestly, I’m just along for the ride.”

“I’m grateful for the company then.” He leaned down to grab one of the shells, a beige and coral one that appeared to twist into itself.

They continued walking down the beach, simply enjoying the other’s company. Zuko picked up a few shells along the way, and Toph routinely dipped her feet into the water.

“Look!” Zuko said. He reached down and picked something up off the sand.

“What is it?” Toph asked. She stretched her hand out and let Zuko place the object in her palm. She rubbed her fingers over it. It was the size of a copper piece—not quite smooth, but it wasn’t rough either. It had a weird texture.

“It’s sea glass.”

“What’s that?”

“When glass enters the ocean, the saltwater smooths it out and gives it a natural frosted look.” She handed it back to him, and he looked at it. “I think I’ll give it to Katara. I’m sure she’d like to do something with it.”

“Can I ask you something?” Toph asked suddenly.

“Yeah. What do you need?”

“Okay, what I’m about to ask…don’t make fun of me for it.”

“I won’t.”

Toph stuck out her littlest finger. “You’ve got to make me a Kiyi promise.”

Zuko snorted. “Are you serious?”

She kept her pinky out.

“Okay, fine.” He locked pinkies with her. “I pinky promise I won’t make fun of you.”

“Thanks,” Toph said. She let go of his pinky and let her arm drop down. “What is it like to be in love?”

Zuko stopped.

He blinked, trying to register what she said and how to answer. He shook his head to himself and started walking again. However, it was no use. Toph knew.

“What? It’s not that shocking, is it?”

“No, it’s just…I don’t know. I didn’t expect you to ask that.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

She shrugged. “I guess I’m curious.”

“You never struck me as the person who would be interested in that though.”

“Exactly. Which is why I told you not to make fun of me.” She kicked the sand as she walked, and it billowed up around her feet in little dust bowls. “But what is it like? Love, I mean.”

“Um, I don’t know how to word it,” Zuko said. “It’s like you always want to try to be better for them because you know they deserve the world. And you want to spend the rest of your life with them.” He looked at his feet as he walked. “And yeah, there are sometimes where you’re annoyed at each other, but at the end of the day, you always come back together. Sorry, I'm really bad at this,”

Toph nodded. “What does feel like?”

“Depends on the moment. I guess I would describe it as a constant warmth in your chest. At least, that’s how it is for me, but that could just be a firebender thing.”

“Do you think I’ll be in love one day?” she asked. Her voice was so quiet, barely more than a whisper.

“Of course,” he answered. “I know you will.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you’re funny, headstrong, thoughtful, and have a good heart. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yeah,” Zuko said. “I do.” He picked up a sand dollar and handed it to her. “You deserve more than this world has given you, and I know that there’ll be someone out there for you who can give you everything you truly deserve.”

She felt the sand dollar in her hands. Even though she knew that Zuko already had two little sisters of his own, she still felt like she could’ve been one of them. Sometimes, she wished she was. She closed her fingers around the sand dollar.

“You and Katara are good for each other,” she said. “You both are going to make each other really happy.”

Zuko smiled. “Thanks, Toph.”

“Don’t mention it, Your Honor.” She pulled on his long hair, and he shoved her away gently.

“I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Never! It’s too funny!”

* * *

The moon was high in the night sky, and the sand underneath it was cold, warmed only by the bonfire in the center of the group. Curled around the flames, everyone sat on logs and beach towels.

Suki looked up to the sky and stared at Yue. Her glow seemed to light up the water underneath her. It was soothing.

“And then, they just left me there! I couldn’t get out of the sand!”

“Sokka, you understand that you could just…lean forward?” Katara said. Her eyes were narrowed slightly, an eyebrow raised.

“But I couldn’t! That’s the thing! It was like a…a sandy cement!”

“Not our fault you were too weak to get out, Snoozles,” Toph said. Suki turned to look at the girl. She was resting her head lazily on Aang’s shoulder and picking her ear. “We didn’t bury you that deep.”

“I was up to my chin in sand! When the waves hit—”

“You weren’t going to drown,” Zuko said. He had his chin propped up in his palm. His other arm was thrown lazily between him and Katara, his hand resting on her thigh.

“And even if you did get water in your lungs, I would’ve just bent it out,” Katara added.

“Come on! Suki, back me up here!”

She laughed and patted her husband’s shoulder. “Babe, I love you to death, but you’re definitely overthinking this one. They weren’t going to leave you for dead or anything.”

Sokka groaned. “Can’t believe my own wife doesn’t even agree with me.”

“That’s not my job,” Suki said. “Keeping you in line is.”

“I’ll cheers to that,” Toph said. She raised up her cup before drinking the juice inside.

“You hear that, Zuko?” Sokka said. “Be prepared for when you get married. Katara’s about to suck away your individuality.”

Zuko laughed out. “Is that what you call it?”

“Oh, hush,” Katara said to her brother. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“It’s all in the marriage manual,” Sokka said with a shrug. Suki leaned over and whacked his arm playfully.

No matter how they joked about it, she knew that their marriage was the best decision they’d ever made. She loved Sokka, knew she wanted to be with him for the rest of their lives.

She let her fingers brush the emerald pendant around her neck. She loved her necklace. She thought it was gorgeous, perfect in every way. She wondered if the child in her womb would wear one someday. Or maybe, they would carve one, using their own two hands.

Suki’s heart fluttered. She wished she could sense through her belly like Toph could. She wanted to see her baby’s tiny fingers and toes. She rested her hand on her stomach, directly over her growing bump.

“Are you nervous?” Aang asked. “For marriage, I mean?”

“A little bit,” Katara admitted. “But I’m more excited than anything.”

“And stressed,” Zuko added.

“Oh, yeah. Definitely stressed,” she agreed, nodding quickly. “Wedding planning is horrific. No wonder some people hire a planner.”

“Do you know where you’re having the wedding yet?” Suki asked.

“We’re having it in the Southern Water Tribe,” Zuko answered. “The Fire Sages will be present though. I want to keep it small.”

Toph snorted. “Small? Didn’t half the tribe go to Sokka and Suki’s wedding?”

“No, it was definitely the whole tribe,” Suki laughed.

“And that’s how it’ll be at our wedding too,” Katara said, poking Zuko in the ribcage.

“See what I mean, buddy?” Sokka said. “Katara’s already taking over.”

“Shut up!” she said. “Am not!”

“No, but it’s different,” Zuko said. “You’re close with everyone in your tribe. I just don’t want a bunch of council members, supervisors, and superiors from the Fire Nation.” He rested his head on top of Katara’s, who laid her head on his shoulder. “I don’t want people there just for the sake of being there. Your tribe is fine. My advisors…aren’t.”

“They’d probably spoil the whole thing anyway,” Toph said.

“Yeah, don’t feel bad about it,” Aang said.

“They would just complain about me the entire time, so I don’t want them there at all,” Katara said. “And if they don’t complain about me, they’d complain about the weather.”

“Understandably so,” Zuko said. He lowered his hand from her thigh to her kneecap and gave her a small squeeze. “It’s super cold.”

“You’re just spoiled with this sun,” she retorted with a smile.

Suki smiled at the couple. She knew they were perfect for each other. They brought out the best in each other, and they treated each other as equals. Their differences were highlighted by the other’s abilities. They went so well together, and she knew the Fire Nation and Southern Water Tribes would both be greatly benefitted by their union.

Her thoughts were cut off with a sharp poke to her stomach. She looked down, expecting to see that her baby had kicked. However, it was just Sokka, his finger above her belly button.

“You getting hungry?” he asked. “I’m starving.”

She laughed.

“What? We haven’t eaten dinner yet!”

“No, that’s not why I’m laughing.”

_Even though we’re all getting older, nothing’s changed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week has been so busy with classes. Probably shouldn't be taking 17 hours, but it's fine. I'm just glad I'm able to roll this out before the weekend.
> 
> Also, I'm sure you saw that I capped the story at sixty chapters. I don't think I'll make it a series or anything, but you can still expect to see me around the fandom. :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! It's all soft and fluffy, but hopefully, that's what you were looking for. :)


	57. Finally Kicking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they finish up some last-minute wedding preparations, Katara finally registers that she's getting married.

“We’ll see you soon.”

Katara pulled Suki into a hug. The older girl was warm, and her hug was tight but soothing.

“It’s only a few more months,” she said. However, she was telling herself it, not her sister-in-law. She knelt down. “And I’m going to miss you too, baby.” She placed her hand over Suki’s belly to feel the little flutters under her skin.

She laughed. “Hopefully, they’ll still be in there when you come back.” She placed her hand lovingly on her stomach. “I would love for you to be there when they're born.”

“That would be nice,” Katara agreed. “And I have experience with the process, so I could help you get through it.”

Suki smiled, but tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but instead, they slid down her cheeks. “I’m going to miss you,” she said, her voice watery. She pulled Katara into another hug. “I’m sorry. I’m just emotional. Hormones, you know?”

“I get it,” she said. She patted her sister-in-law’s back lovingly before the two pulled away.

Meanwhile, Sokka and Zuko stood several feet away, closer to Appa. They decided it was best to let the girls have their own conversation.

“Are you excited to be going back home?” Aang called from atop Appa’s saddle. He lifted Sokka’s bedroll up before chucking it to the older man.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice. Boring, but nice,” Sokka said. “I’m looking forward to seeing Dad and Gran Gran again. I know they like doting on their future grandchild.”

“Try to get Suki to hold it in if he starts coming out before we get to the South Pole, okay?” Aang joked.

“No promises,” he laughed.

“Did Toph tell you if it was a boy or a girl yet?” Zuko asked.

“We told her not to,” Sokka said. “Suki wants it to be a surprise.”

“Do you have names yet, at least?” Aang said.

“Not yet. Suki’s scared of my choices.”

“Yeah, I would be too if I had to name my kid ‘Boomerang’ or ‘Cricket’ or something,” Zuko joked.

“Hey, I’d never do my kid that dirty!”

“Didn’t you say like…an hour ago that it was your job as a father to embarrass your child?” Aang laughed.

“Not the same thing.”

“Alright, are we ready to go?” Toph called, loud enough for both groups to hear her.

Katara sighed. “I guess I’ll see you in a little while.” She walked over to Sokka and hugged him tightly.

“Next time I see you, you’ll be getting married,” he said as he patted her arm awkwardly. “That’s such a weird thought.”

“Are you staying in the Fire Nation?” Suki asked Toph.

“No, I’m going off with Aang to the Earth Kingdom,” she said. “You guys are getting too old to have fun with me. He’s the only one chaotic enough to join.”

“Keep him away from the elephant koi fish,” Katara joked.

“And the Unagi!” Suki added.

“And if you go through the Serpent’s Pass—”

“Okay, relax, Sweetness. We’ll be fine. Isn’t that right, Twinkle Toes?”

“It’ll be great!” Aang said, nodding. “We’ll write to you about all our stories!”

Katara swooped the two up into a hug. “I’m going to miss you guys.” Zuko placed a hand onto her shoulder to comfort her. Suki and Sokka joined the hug, pulling the firebender into it as well.

They stood there forever, holding each other as if that time would be their last.

* * *

“Lady Katara?”

She looked up from her desk, from the document she had thrown herself into. She knew her eyes were probably red from weariness as she looked up to the servant girl in front of her.

“Hina, how can I help you?”

She smiled at the waterbender. “The seamstresses have finished your dress, miss. They would like for you to try it on so they can make any adjustments.”

The dullness in Katara’s eyes immediately disappeared, quickly washed away by excitement. “Wait, really?! It’s done?!”

“Yes, Lady Katara.”

She sprung up and hurried over to Hina. “Could you please take me to them?”

“Of course,” she said, bowing to her. She led Katara down the corridors to the tailors’ hall. With each step, her hands shook more and more, and her heart pounded in excitement.

_This is it! I’m finally going to see the dress!_

The seamstresses all bowed to Katara as she and Hina stepped into the room.

“Lady Katara,” the oldest one said, “your dress is complete!”

“May I…” Her throat felt dry. She swallowed before continuing. “May I see it?”

She grinned. “Of course.”

In a few, quick movements, the servants had stripped the dress off Katara’s body, leaving her bare and exposed to the women around her. She barely had a chance to blink before she saw a flurry of fabrics—red and blue—swarm her vision. The dress was pulled over her head, and the servants tucked, pulled, and prodded at her.

“Alright, go ahead and look.”

Katara turned around to face the mirror. She gasped at her reflection.

The dress was beautiful, exactly as she’d envisioned it. The way the colors melded into each other made her heart flutter. She touched the skirt and almost melted at the sensation. The fabrics were soft—like pools of clouds surrounding her. It was perfect.

She looked perfect.

_I’m getting married_ , she thought. _I’m getting married._

“I’m getting married,” she said.

“You will make a beautiful bride,” Hina said with a nod.

“I’m getting married,” she repeated.

“Lady Katara?” One of the seamstresses knitted her eyebrows in concern.

_It’s happening. I’m actually going to get married._ _Spirits, it’s really happening._

“I…I think it’s finally kicked in,” Katara said. She couldn’t take her eyes off her reflection, off her wide, blue eyes.

Hina giggled. “I can see you’re clearly in shock.”

Katara brought her fingers up to touch the pendant necklace underneath her mother’s. The opal was cool under her fingertips, and the texture of the carving reminded her of the callouses on Zuko’s hands from his dual broadswords.

_I’m going to be a wife. I’m going to marry Zuko. The love of my life._

Keeping one hand on her necklace, she brought her other hand up to touch one of the beads near her scalp. She let her fingers brush the carving of the curling flame. Her heart pounded within her chest.

“Do you need to sit down, miss?”

“No, no, I’m…I’m okay.” However, her head was swimming.

Seeing her reflection, she finally saw everything coming to fruition. She wasn’t just making plans anymore. There was physical evidence, proof of her wedding. Wearing the dress made her feel like a bride for the first time.

She closed her eyes to quell the raging emotions inside her. Her cheeks felt wet.

“Can I get you some water, Lady Katara? Or perhaps, a hot towel?” Hina asked.

“No, that’s okay. Thank you, Hina.” She opened her eyes again to stare into her reflection.

She was beautiful.

She would be a beautiful bride.

* * *

“Hey, baby,” Katara said, crawling into the covers beside her fiancé. She kissed his temple before sidling up next to him. “How was your meeting with the CEO of Yon Li Metalworks?”

“It was pretty rough,” Zuko answered. He rested his head on Katara’s chest and flung his arm out over her lazily. “No one could really come to a consensus about anything.”

She smiled and laced her fingers through his soft, raven locks. _This is going to be my husband. I’m going to marry Zuko._

“What about you?” he asked. “How was your afternoon?”

“I got to see my wedding dress,” she said. She tried to hide her smile, but with each word, it grew larger and larger.

Zuko popped his head up. “Wait, what? Kat, that’s amazing! How is it? What does it look like?”

She laughed and poked the tip of his nose. “I’m not telling you what it looks like! It needs to be a surprise.” He pouted, and she smiled. “Oh, don’t be pouty. You’ll see it soon enough.”

“I’m not pouting.”

“Oh, then, what’s this?” She rubbed his bottom lip with the pad of her thumb, directly where it stuck out a little.

Zuko grabbed her wrist and pinned it up above her head. He brought his lips to hers, and she closed her eyes, sinking into the sensation. His lips felt so much nicer under her own lips than under her fingers. They sent little sparks crawling up and down her spine and all the way to her toes. She shivered as his tongue flicked her bottom lip.

When he pulled away, he rested his head back down on her chest. She played with his hair as he relaxed, still smiling to herself.

“It’s finally sinking in,” she whispered.

“What is?”

“We’re getting married.”

Zuko smiled. “It hasn’t hit you yet?”

“Not until I tried on the dress. Why, did it hit you already?”

He nodded. “When I was carving the pendant to ask you to marry me, I felt it. It felt…real.”

“Yeah.” She kissed his forehead, and he nuzzled closer to her breasts.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She kissed him again, just as his eyelids began to flutter shut. “And I couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else.”

* * *

_Suki,_

_How long did it take for it to kick in that you were getting married? It finally hit me when I was trying on my dress yesterday (which is gorgeous, by the way—you’re going to love it). But you didn’t get your dresses (I couldn’t imagine having several like you did. I guess I’m lucky in that sense that my culture doesn’t push for several. This single one is overwhelming enough.) until the last second, so surely it registered for you sooner._

_Only a few more months until I get married! I’m so nervous, to tell you the truth. I’m petrified because not only will I be a wife, but I’ll also be the Fire Lady. I’m nervous about the nation’s reaction, since they’ve never had anyone from the Water Tribe—especially not a waterbender. I’m so scared that the assassination attempts will be worse due to hate from some of the older, more traditional, Ozai loyalists. However, I’m not backing out of the marriage or anything. I love Zuko too much for that. But it’s still nerve-wracking. I can tell Zuko’s nervous too._

_How is the baby doing? Have you decided on any names yet, or at least if you want a Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom name? I can’t wait! I know you’re in good hands down in the South Pole, but I still wish I were there and could be there for you._

_Sending lots of love! Tell Sokka to wash his clothes. I know they’re building up. Also, Zuko says hi. We’ve attached some candied ginger for you to help the nausea, and Zuko wanted to send plum candies down for Sokka so that he doesn’t eat yours. Can’t wait to see you again!_

_Love,_

_Katara_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me way longer to write than I wanted. College has just been so chaotic recently. However, I plan on getting another chapter out by the end of the week. Hopefully. 
> 
> I hope you all are still enjoying the story! Only a few more chapters left! :)


	58. The Days Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they head down to the Southern Water Tribe for their wedding, Zuko and Katara get ready for their big day.

“Ready to go?”

Katara smiled lovingly as she looked up at her fiancé. The sun was in his eyes, and even though he squinted, his golden irises seemed to glow like fire as the rays hit them. She wanted to stare at them forever.

“Katara?”

“Huh?”

Zuko grinned. “I asked if you’re ready to go.”

“Oh, yeah, just need to grab a few more things.” She turned around to the pile of luggage that had already been carried onto the ship. Laying on top was a thick, heavy bag—the bag her dress was in. It was completely opaque, impossible for anyone to see through. Katara brushed her fingers over the bag for several moments until she felt warm fingertips on her bare shoulders. That was something she liked about Fire Nation fashion: it let her savor the feeling of Zuko’s skin on hers more often, more than one of her Water Tribe parkas ever would.

“Everything’s already in order,” he whispered, leaning forward closer to her. Warm, chai tea-scented breath hit the shell of her ear, and she shivered. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah,” she whispered back. She bit her tongue gently as she felt Zuko kiss her jaw. “I am.”

“Me too,” he admitted. “But I’m excited too.”

“Zuzu!”

Zuko leaned back and turned around, and Katara swiveled her head with him. They watched as Kiyi’s little feet padded against the ship’s metal floors, running towards them. Zuko scooped her up into his arms and propped her up onto his hip.

“Hey, Kee,” he said.

“I’m so excited!” she shrieked. “Katara, is the Southern Water Tribe pretty!”

“Yeah, pretty cold,” Zuko teased. However, Katara just swatted his bicep.

“Oh, hush,” she said before turning to Kiyi. “It’s pretty in a different way than the Fire Nation is. Have you ever seen snow before?” The little girl shook her head. “Well, you’re going to see a whole lot of it here. And you know what you can do with snow?”

“What?” Kiyi asked, her eyes full of wonder.

“You can turn it into snowballs and throw it at Zuko!”

“Hey, now,” he said. “Don’t give her any ideas.”

“I want to throw snowballs!”

“And you will,” Katara said. She ruffled Kiyi’s hair lovingly. “We’re going to have a lot of fun, but you need to make sure you bundle up. Zuko’s right; it is really cold.”

“Zuko! Katara! There you are!” Ursa said. She and Noren hurried up the ramp onto the boat before meeting up with the trio. Zuko put Kiyi down, and the girl ran to her father to be held instead. “We were looking for you.”

“Is everything packed?” Zuko asked.

Noren nodded. “Yeah, your servants are carrying up the last few things.”

“And is Uncle on the ship yet?”

“I’m over here!” Iroh called, scurrying up the ramp. A large grin was painted on his face. “Look what I found!” He stuck out his arm, revealing a thick, black parka folded over it. “Isn’t it handsome?”

“It’ll certainly keep you warm,” Katara giggled, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Is Azula coming to the wedding?” Noren asked.

Zuko shook his head. “I asked her again a day or two ago, but she’s adamant. She doesn’t want to come.”

Ursa knit her eyebrows in sadness. “I’m sorry, my love.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s better that she doesn’t come than does and feels miserable the whole time.” Ursa nodded but kissed Zuko’s cheek to comfort him anyway.

“Is everyone going to be at the South Pole when we arrive?” Kiyi asked, tugging on Noren’s shirt sleeve.

“They should be,” Katara said. “But Aang and Toph might show up a day or two after us if the weather’s bad.”

“It should be clear skies though,” Ursa said. “Noren and I checked beforehand.”

“And they’re coming in from the southern Earth Kingdom, so they shouldn’t be too far away,” Zuko added.

“Oh, that’s right,” Katara said. “I think they’re in Chin Village because Toph wanted to see it.”

“They’ll make it in time then,” Noren said.

“Two more weeks!” Iroh said. He clapped one hand over Zuko’s shoulder and one hand over Katara’s. “How do you feel?”

“Nervous,” Katara said. She turned her head to look back at Iroh and gave him a smile.

“I brought chamomile tea,” he offered. “That should help with your anxiety.”

“Uncle, how much tea did you bring for the wedding?” Zuko asked suspiciously.

“Enough for six times the number of guests,” he enthused. “You can never have too much tea!”

Zuko sighed. “This ship’s going to sink from the weight of all the tea leaves.”

“Nonsense! Your ship never sank when you were younger.”

“Fire Lord Zuko,” one of the Fire Sages said, bowing to Zuko, “the Fire Sages are all onboard.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said. He turned his head towards the front of the deck. “Captain!” he shouted. “Set our course for the Southern Water Tribe!”

Katara grinned and squeezed Zuko’s hand, and he squeezed hers back in return.

“We’re getting married,” she whispered.

He smiled and kissed her temple. “I know.”

* * *

“Look! Look!”

Katara stuck her index finger out, pointing to the dock. The dark plank stuck out like a sore thumb against the white of the snow and ice.

Zuko peered over the deck, squinting his eyes slightly. “Is that Sokka?”

“Sokka’s there?” Kiyi asked, tugging on the bottom of Zuko’s tunic.

“And Suki,” Katara added. She turned her head to watch as Zuko lifted his sister up onto his hip. She pointed at the figure next to the one cloaked in blue, showing the little girl who she was talking about. “Over there, see?”

“Her belly’s so big!”

“That’s cause she’s having a baby, remember?” Zuko said. He ruffled Kiyi’s hair playfully. “That’s just the baby growing bigger.”

“Do you think he’s heavy?” Kiyi asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “You can ask her when we get to the dock.”

The heavy footsteps behind them made the three all turn to look. Iroh walked up to them and peered over the deck, just as Zuko had done. “I wonder how long they were waiting there. I would hate for Miss Suki to be standing out in the cold for too long, especially with a child in her womb.”

“I’m sure they weren’t out there too long,” Katara said. She turned back to look at the figures slowly growing larger and larger. She smiled as the taller figure, cloaked in blue, began jumping and waving vigorously.

“Look, Kee!” Zuko pointed to the jumping figure. “He’s waving to you!” Kiyi smiled and waved madly back to the duo on the shore, and using the hand that wasn’t supporting his sister, Zuko waved as well.

“Oh, they’re waving to you too,” Katara teased. She placed her hand on Zuko’s shoulder, giving him a soft smile.

As the ship grew closer and closer, the two figures grew clearer. Soon, they could make out Sokka’s bright eyes and Suki’s nose, red from the cold. Both of their smiles were large and shining, despite the wind that slapped their tight cheeks. Suki cradled her large baby belly lovingly. Katara guessed she was in her final stretch. She hoped the baby would be born before she and Zuko went on their honeymoon.

Just as the boat hit the frozen land and the ramp tumbled down, they were immediately met with a loud cry from the couple.

“Welcome home!” Sokka shouted, bolting up the ramp. Suki trudged up behind him, trying her hardest to keep up.

“Ahh! Put me down!” Katara squealed. However, Sokka ignored her as he wrapped his arms around her midsection and swung her around.

“Never!”

Katara whacked his arms until he begrudgingly put her down, but his arms were immediately replaced with Suki’s.

“Oh, I missed you so much!” she said, burying her red face into her sister-in-law’s thick hair.

“It’s been too long,” Katara agreed. “And the baby’s grown so much! I can hardly fit my arms around you!”

“I know!” Suki giggled. “I’m due in about a week. I guess we’ll see if I last that long.” Katara squealed and hugged her tighter.

“Zuko, buddy! Good to see you again!” Sokka pulled Zuko into a hug just as the Fire Lord put Kiyi on the ground. Zuko wrapped his arms around Sokka’s shoulders and grinned. “Hopefully, you’re treating my sister well.”

“She wouldn’t still be with me if I wasn’t,” he said.

“Yeah, you’re definitely right.”

“Sokka!” Kiyi cheered. She ran up to him and hugged his hips.

“Hey-a, Kiyi!” He scooped her up and held her against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Look how much you’ve grown! You’re basically a woman now!”

“Don’t say that,” Zuko teased. “I’m not ready for that.”

“Oh, relax. You’ve still got at least a decade.”

“It’ll fly by. Just you watch. When you get to see your kid, you’ll realize how quickly time goes by.”

“Sokka, it is good to see you!” Iroh said. The two embraced, and Sokka purposefully crushed Kiyi slightly in the hug.

“Uncle Iroh! How’s it been? Your tea shop still kicking?”

The older man chuckled. “I haven’t been to Ba Sing Se in weeks. Hopefully, my hired hands are still treating it right.”

“Mommy! Mommy! Look who’s here!” Kiyi said. She wriggled out of Sokka’s grasp, and he placed her on her feet to let her run to her mother.

“I know,” Ursa said lovingly, walking towards the group. “I see!” She hugged Sokka, as Suki was in a deep conversation with Katara. “Sokka, how have you been?”

“Cold,” he answered with a grin. “I think I’ve spent too long outside the Southern Water Tribe. I’m being spoiled with the warmer weather.”

“It’s just the wind that makes it difficult,” Iroh said.

“Zu, baby, do you want to go down and meet the others?” Katara asked. She tilted her head away from Suki to look towards her fiancé.

“Are Aang and Toph here already?” he asked.

“Yeah, they showed up yesterday,” Suki said with a nod.

“Then, yeah, let’s go find them,” Zuko said. He grabbed Katara’s hand, and the two of them followed Sokka and Suki off the ship and down the ramp.

As they trudged through the thick snow, several people came up to the group. Many women hugged Katara, tilting her chin up to expose her opal betrothal necklace and pushing her hood back to better see the golden beads on her loopies. The men clapped Zuko on the back and shoulders and gave him playful grins. However, they couldn’t take more than fifteen steps at a time without someone congratulating them.

Zuko couldn’t help but smile at the people that approached them. Despite the cold weather, they all had a warmness in their eyes, their hearts, their smiles. They were all so close-knit, and he could tell how much they cared for each other. The way they doted on Katara as if she were their own daughter. The way they pulled Zuko effortlessly into their big, wild family.

He was lucky to be welcomed into such a great tribe. A great family.

“Is that Sparky and Sweetness?” Toph called from several feet away. She whipped her head around before dropping the blanket that was previously thrown on top of her. She rushed over to them and immediately yanked them into a tight hug.

“Geez, Toph,” Aang laughed. “Don’t want to crush them to death before the big day!” However, he too joined the hug with a large smile. “It’s nice to see you guys again!”

“How were your adventures throughout the Earth Kingdom?” Katara asked.

“They were great!” Toph said. “We got to ride the whale slugs!”

“It wasn’t as fun as the elephant koi though,” Aang added. “They’re a lot slower.”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” Katara said with a smile.

“Oh! You’ve got to check out the village now!” Aang said.

“Yeah, we’re not using tents as much!” Sokka said. “We’re back to the igloos, baby!”

“What?” Katara gaped.

“Yeah! There’s no longer a serious need for them because the war’s over, so we don’t have to pack everything up and leave anymore. So the village is bringing back igloos! Dad and Gran Gran already replaced their tent, and so did Suki and me.”

“That’s amazing!” Katara exclaimed. “Oh, where are Dad and Gran Gran?”

“They’re in the igloo right now,” he said, pointing towards the village. “It’s right where their tent used to be. Same area.”

“Got it. Thanks, Sokka!” She immediately dashed off, pulling Zuko behind her.

When they reached the igloo, she flung the furs covering the entrance aside. Excited shrieks flooded the snowy building as her exposed face came into view.

“Katara! Welcome back!” Hakoda said. He wrapped his daughter up into his strong, warm arms and kissed her forehead. “We missed you so much!”

“Oh, my Snowflake,” Kanna said, joining the hug. “I can’t believe you’re getting married in just a few days.”

“I can’t believe it either,” Katara agreed. “It’s weird to wrap my mind around.”

“Zuko, son, how are you doing?” Hakoda said warmly. He reached out his hand to grab Zuko’s arm in a typical Water Tribe fashion, and Zuko repeated the action. “How was the trip down?”

“It wasn’t bad,” he said. “The waters were pretty decent. It was just the accidental ice-dodging we had to do when we came close to the South Pole.”

Hakoda laughed and clapped a hand over Zuko’s back, gently enough to make sure the younger man didn’t flinch at the action. “I get that. They can be dangerous the closer you get.”

“Katara, let me see your betrothal necklace,” Kanna said. Katara pushed her hair out of the way and exposed her neck to her grandmother. The old woman gasped and touched the pendant gently. “Oh, it’s stunning!” She turned to look at Zuko. “You did a magnificent job.”

“He also carved the beads,” Katara added. Kanna turned her attention to the golden beads near her granddaughter’s scalp, and she marveled at the little engravings.

“They’re beautiful,” Kanna said. “You did a fine job, Zuko.”

“Thank you,” he said, his cheeks flushing slightly at the compliment.

“We’ve already set up an igloo for you,” Hakoda told the couple. “It’s closer to Sokka and Suki’s place, and it’s mostly decorated already.”

“Thank you so much!” Katara said with a grin.

“We know you won’t stay there all the time—especially with Zuko being Fire Lord and all. But we wanted you to have a place for when you come down to visit.”

“And hopefully, you’ll come down more often knowing that you’ve got a home down here,” Kanna said.

“It means a lot,” Zuko said. “Thank you.”

“Snowflake, I finished up your shawl a week ago,” Kanna said, turning her attention to Katara. “I want you to come see it!”

“Yes!” She quickly kissed Zuko’s cheek and hugged her father. “We’ll be back in a second!” She bolted off after Kanna, who led her out of the igloo.

“Are you nervous?” Hakoda asked.

“Definitely,” Zuko said. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was pulled halfway up, with the bottom half still loose against his back and shoulders. His five-pronged crown felt tight and heavy.

“There’s no reason to be,” he said. “You both love each other a lot, and I know the wedding’s going to be amazing. What are you nervous specifically about?”

“Everything.”

“Oh, come on. You’ve got to be more specific than that.”

“Do you want an honest answer?”

Hakoda quirked his eyebrow up.

“I don’t know what I’m doing for that tribal dance thing. The one that Sokka and Suki did at their wedding.”

Hakoda burst out laughing. “Is that really what you’re worried about?” Zuko’s silence was enough of an answer. He laughed even harder and clapped his hand over the younger man’s shoulder. “We’ll teach you, son.”

* * *

Katara looked up at the sky, gazing at the moon. Her head was rested on Zuko’s shoulder as they watched the stars together. Her mind was racing, but with him beside her, she felt oddly calm.

“It’s hard to imagine,” Zuko whispered. “I can’t believe we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“I know,” Katara agreed. “It’s weird to think about.”

“I’m glad everyone made it in time.” He squeezed her hand gently. “Well, except for Azula.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, simply watching the stars above them. Katara noticed one of the constellations from the stories her mom told her about when she was young.

“I always dreamed about my wedding,” she whispered. “Even as a little girl, I couldn’t wait to know who my husband was.” She smiled and lifted her head up from her fiancé’s shoulder. She looked into his golden eyes, which seemed to glow even underneath the dark sky. “I think little Katara would be happy with my choice.”

Zuko smiled. “I don’t think little Zuko would even believe it. You’re too good for me.”

“No, I’m not,” she said. However, her smile never ceased.

Instead of arguing about it, Zuko simply leaned forward and pressed his lips to Katara’s. She melted under the sensation, feeling the soft tingle from her lips all the way down to her toes. Even in the cold, his lips were still so warm.

When they pulled away, Katara rested her head back on Zuko’s shoulder. “I just wish my mom was here to see it.”

Zuko squeezed her hand gently. “I know. I’m so sorry that she couldn’t be here in person.” He kissed her forehead. “But just know that she is still watching you from afar. She’d never want to miss this.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Zuko.”

“Katara? Zuko?”

They perked up and turned around to see Kanna walking towards them. Her boots left deep footprints in the snow.

“Gran Gran?”

“Come on,” she said. “You both have a big day tomorrow.”

Zuko stood up and grabbed Katara’s hand to help her stand as well. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“You can take your new igloo for the night,” Kanna said. “Katara will stay with us in ours.”

“I guess I’ll see you at the altar then,” Katara said. She leaned forward and kissed Zuko one last time before giving him a soft smile. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Kat. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She turned to follow Kanna inside the igloo, letting Zuko go the opposite way. “Sweet dreams.”

“You too.”

_I love you so much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited! Two chapters left!
> 
> Also, fun fact of the day. My roommate got Covid, so my college sent me home to quarantine due to possible exposure. However, I'm almost positive I had Covid during our break, so it's unlikely that I have it now. So I'm just chilling in my room and using Zoom for all my classes for two weeks. We love that.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! Thank you again for all the kudos and comments! Y'all are the best! :)


	59. ‘Til Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko finally celebrate their wedding.

Katara didn’t know what woke her up first: the cold air that hit her back as her blankets were ripped away, the bright light slipping in through the entryway, or the sound of several women screaming around her.

“Good morning, moon peach!” Kirima exclaimed, pushing the furs aside. “It’s your big day!”

Katara groaned and flipped over, burying her face into the wool-stuffed pillow underneath her. She curled up into fetal position to maintain her body heat, but it was useless. Goosebumps coated her skin the second her blankets were yanked away.

“Five more minutes,” she grumbled into the pillow.

Kanna laughed. “Come on, Snowflake. You need to get up. We’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time. You can sleep later tonight.”

“Or not, if you know what I mean,” Nuvua said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Imona smacked the young woman’s arm, but she simply laughed it off.

“Come on,” Kirima said. “Up, up, up!” She pulled Katara’s wrist and dragged her out of the bed. The young woman groaned but begrudgingly followed them out of her home and into a different igloo.

The women wasted no time in pulling off Katara’s sleepwear, tugging off the different layers of fabric. Katara squirmed as the cold air hit her bare skin.

“I know, sweet pea,” Kirima said. “The bath will be warm though.”

“Is it already set up?” Katara asked. Her teeth were chattering, and she hugged her arms close to her to both preserve her body heat and hide her bare breasts from the women around her.

“Yup, Imona set it up just before we arrived,” Nuvua said.

“Come on,” Kanna said. “Let’s get you in the tub.”

The women helped her up into the pool of diluted milk and honey. It was warmer than she’d expected, and it was nice after the walk through the cold. She sighed as she sank down slightly, resting her head against the side of the tub.

Imona pulled out a pumice stone and began working on Katara’s feet, scraping and exfoliating away the dead skin and callouses. It felt strange, and she tried not to squirm too much at the sensation. She knew Toph would absolutely loathe this.

She felt gentle hands caress her scalp, and she tilted her head back slightly to see Nuvua at the edge of the tub. The woman gathered Katara’s hair and guided it out of the tub. Pulling out a whalebone comb, she guided the teeth gently through her thick, wet strands, combing out the knots and tangles that arose during her sleep.

“You’re so gentle,” Katara complimented.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Nuvua said.

“I mean, most people don’t try. They just do,” she said. She tilted her head back a little further to allow her to more easily comb the hair near her scalp. “The only other person that doesn’t hurt me when combing my hair is Zuko.”

“Awww, he does your hair?” Nuvua swooned. “That’s so precious.”

“Hmm? Yeah, we both do that sometimes.” Katara felt a soft smile pull at her lips. She couldn’t wait to see him.

“Oh, our girl’s turning red!” Imona pinched the apple of her cheek softly, and Katara giggled and swatted away the older woman’s hand.

“Let her be,” Kanna said, rubbing a soapy rag across her granddaughter’s arms to bathe her. “Today’s her wedding day. Let her be red and full of love.”

“I’m not that red, am I?” Katara asked.

“Well, you’re definitely a little rosy,” Kirima giggled. The bride-to-be groaned, and the older woman simply laughed and kissed her forehead. “Relax, moon peach. It’s not so bad that you’re turning into a tomato. And it’ll be faded by the ceremony anyway.”

After her bath, the women led her out of the tub and began rubbing her dry with a thick, fluffy towel. Katara knew she could’ve easily bent the water off of herself, but she decided to let herself be pampered. After all, it was her wedding day.

“Kanna, do you have the dress?” Imona asked.

“Yeah, let me grab it really quickly.”

“Shawl too!” Nuvua added, toweling off Katara’s wet hair.

“I will.”

Kanna disappeared into another area of the igloo before coming back with the large, opaque bag that Katara had brought with her. She hung it up on the wall before unzipping it. All of the women rushed over to see the dress, and several gasps cut through the air.

“Whoa!”

“That’s beautiful!”

“Did the Fire Nation seamstresses make that?”

“Oh, my darling, you’re going to be such a beautiful bride!”

“And look,” Kanna said, holding up the shawl. “It matches perfectly!”

Kirima smiled and placed her hand over her chest, directly on top of her heart. “You’re going to look wonderful.”

“Come on!” Nuvua clapped three times. “Let’s get her in the dress!”

With the women’s assistance, they pulled the layered fabric over Katara’s head. The same overwhelming sensation flooded her, just as it did when the Fire Nation ladies helped her try on the dress the first time. She looked down at the skirt and brushed over the fabric gently with her hands. She truly felt like a princess in the dress.

“Knock knock!” Toph called, pushing the furs away from the entrance.

Suki wolf-whistled as she stepped in behind the blind girl. “Dang, Zuko’s in for a surprise.”

Katara felt her cheeks warm up again and immediately cursed the blushing. _Just when it had finally calmed down._

“Your heartbeat is racing a million miles a minute,” Toph said. She sat on the side of Katara, slumping into a chair next to the empty dress bag.

“Are you nervous?” Suki asked. “Or excited?”

“Better be just excitement,” Toph said. “I can’t have you getting cold feet for my boy, Sparky.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “I’m not getting cold feet. At least…not metaphorically.” She looked down at the ground where her bare feet were disguised by her full skirt. She wished the women had put some slippers or moccasins on her before putting the dress on. Her toes were freezing.

“Well, that’s good, at least.” Toph blew her bangs out of her face. “I kinda wish I wasn’t blind,” she admitted. “I really want to see how you look right now.”

“She looks like a goddess,” Suki said. She grabbed her sister-in-law’s hand and squeezed it gently, giving her a soft smile.

“Thank you,” Katara said, returning the smile. Her eyes flickered back and forth between her friends. “Have either of you seen Zuko yet?”

“Nope,” Toph said, popping the ‘p.’ “Sokka and Aang are with him right now. But if it makes you feel better, I could feel his heart racing too.”

“Yeah, that poor boy’s so nervous,” Suki said with a smile. “I think more than you are. I could hear him babbling to the others through the igloo walls.”

Kanna gave Katara a smile and a wink before sliding the shawl over her shoulders. “Warmer?”

“Much,” Katara said. “Thank you.”

“Let’s get your shoes,” Imona said. “Go ahead and take a seat.” Katara sat down next to Toph, and the woman pulled out a pair of white slippers with little red and blue embellishments. Inside, the shoes were lined with arctic wolf-bear fur, just like her moccasins were. Katara was extremely grateful. She didn’t want her feet to be freezing as she walked down the aisle.

“Alright, we just wanted to check in on you,” Suki said. “See how you were doing.” She squeezed Katara’s hand one last time and smiled. “We’ve got to go get ready.”

“We’ll see you at the altar, Sweetness!” Toph called, standing up from the chair.

“Have fun, you two!” Katara called, watching as they left the igloo.

“Suki’s right,” Kanna said, just as the two girls disappeared. She kissed her granddaughter’s cheek. “You do look like a goddess.”

“Thanks, Gran Gran,” Katara said, tilting her eyes down humbly.

Kanna smiled before pulling out a makeup palette, one likely bought during a trade with the Earth Kingdom. “Kirima?”

“Of course,” the woman answered. She wordlessly took the palette from the old woman’s hands and stood in front of Katara, pulling out one of the brushes.

Meanwhile, Kanna and Imona stood behind the bride. They began braiding her hair in elaborate, Water Tribe styles. They kept her signature loopies, but they braided the hair into thin strips to tie up. They pulled half of her hair into a bun, reminiscent of the ones in the Fire Nation. The braids circled around and into the bun like flower petals, layered one on top of the other. They twisted and wove into each other. The old women worked quickly but smoothly.

“Nuvua,” Kirima said as she lined Katara’s eyes with a thin layer of kohl, “go prepare the marriage bed.”

Katara choked on her saliva. “No, no, you don’t have to do tha—”

“His uncle said that it was a Fire Nation tradition to decorate the bed for the wedding night,” Kanna said. She squinted at her granddaughter suspiciously but also slyly. “You don’t want to defy your soon-to-be husband’s traditions, do you?”

“Um…no, no, of course not.” She felt her cheeks heat up once more. _How many more times am I going to blush before the wedding even begins?_

Imona laughed. “Oh, sweet girl. You’re too shy for your own good.”

* * *

She could hear the chatter off in the distance, but she couldn’t bring herself to look. Just across the opposite side of the village, the wedding decorations were already set up. The guests were already seated on the fluffy, warm arctic wolf-bear furs. The elders and Fire Sages were already at the front, waiting for the bride and groom. Katara couldn’t bear to look. Not yet.

She bit on her thumbnail as she paced a few steps. Back and forth against the snow. Her hands grew sweaty as her nerves increased. However, as she heard heavy footsteps approach, she turned around to see the figure behind her.

“Oh…” Hakoda breathed. His blue eyes watered up, and his bottom lip quivered. “Snowflake…” He pulled her into a gentle hug, careful not to wrinkle her dress or frizz her hair. “You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you, Dad,” Katara said, blinking away her tears. _Don’t mess up your eyeliner. You can’t mess up your makeup right before your wedding._

He pulled away and held her by her shoulders as he stared into her eyes. “I can’t believe it. You’re so grown up. And now, I have to give my baby girl away.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and smiled. “I’ll always be your baby girl.”

“But now, you’ll be a wife too.” He smiled back at her. His eyes were warm and shone with unshed tears. “You look so beautiful. Just like Kya.”

Katara felt her heart clench in her chest. She bit her lip to keep it from wobbling.

However, Hakoda simply kept smiling and staring at his daughter. “She would be so proud of you. We’re both so, so proud of you, of the woman you’ve become.”

She dipped her head, unable to speak. Hakoda pulled her back into another hug before kissing her forehead and pulling away.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Katara nodded and wiped away one of her tears, careful not to smudge her makeup.

“I am.”

* * *

Zuko felt his hands shake, and he dug his fingernails into his palms. They were sweaty from nerves, but he couldn’t wipe them off without wrinkling his robes, so he left them. He could hear the muffled conversations of the crowd several feet in front of him and tried to focus on them.

He took a deep breath to relax himself before he began walking.

The audience grew quiet immediately, turning to watch him walk down the aisle. Several of the men of the Southern Water Tribe began beating on drums as he headed towards the altar, each pound matching his racing heartbeat.

He hadn’t gotten a chance to look at the decorations before, and now that they were in front of him, he couldn’t really concentrate on them.

_Breathe. Breathe._

His eyes glazed across the audience, taking in every decoration to both ground himself and imprint to his memory.

Everyone was seated on fluffy, white furs, and clusters of fire lilies and water lilies decorated the perimeters of the aisle, as well as the arch at the altar. Soft red and blue fabric was draped meticulously along the arch, framed by the flowers. Also, at the altar, a double happiness symbol made of solid gold stood front and center. Several white bowls with golden trim sat on the table just in front of it. Behind the altar, the elders—Hanta, Ujurak, Ikiaq, Kanna, and Yuka—and the Fire Sages all sat silently. Under his wobbly feet, a crimson carpet lined the aisle. It was soft, lined with decorative, blue trim.

As Zuko looked towards the audience, he saw his friends sitting up front. Suki and Aang both smiled and waved, while Toph gave him a thumbs-up. Sokka, however, waved his arms in the air and cheered loudly. Zuko bit his lip to hold back a grin. He knew the Fire Sages would give him crap for that later.

When he reached the altar, he bowed to the Water Tribe’s elders and his nation’s Fire Sages. He turned around to face the audience and the aisle, and the breath immediately caught in his throat.

As Hakoda walked his daughter down the aisle, Zuko barely registered the older man’s presence. All he could see was Katara. How beautiful she was.

She was wearing a gorgeous, A-line dress, one that was tight on the top with a skirt that moved and flowed like water. Layers of scarlet and cerulean tulle molded together, reminding him of a combination of their elements. Like fire and water were meeting, circling each other in an eternal dance. Golden thread was woven throughout the skirt and bodice, highlighting each detail of the dress. Her white shawl had golden thread to match, and he could make out the embroidered patterns of curling flames and splashing waves along the sleeves. Her hair was braided into an elaborate updo, with her loopies framing her face and her bun surrounding her head like a halo. Her betrothal necklace was on full display, shining with each step.

Above her, the polar lights danced across the heavens. Pale emeralds, magentas, and cyans painted the dark violet sky. Their glow made her look impossibly more angelic.

She was the sun, the moon, and all of the stars. Beautiful, ethereal, and exquisite.

Agni, he couldn’t be luckier.

Mumbles flooded the air as the Water Tribe members whispered prayers to the spirits as she walked down the aisle. As she passed by their friends, she handed her bouquet—one of fire and water lilies—to Toph before standing in front of the shrine. Hakoda passed her off to Zuko, and as he clasped her hands in his, his nerves immediately washed away. He could feel her hands shaking gently, and he squeezed away her nerves to relax her, just as she relaxed him.

Elder Hanta stood up from his seat behind the altar and walked towards the couple. The audience bowed to them and took a seat on the arctic wolf-bear furs.

“Family and friends,” he said, his voice just as clear as it was for their friends’ wedding, “thank you all for coming to celebrate this momentous day with us. We are gathered here today to unite Fire Lord Zuko of the Fire Nation and Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe in marriage.”

Zuko felt the breath catch in his throat. _Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._

“Before we begin, we must purify this couple before the spirits. Elder Yuka, if you will?”

Yuka stood up just as Hanta sat down. She grabbed one of the gold-trimmed bowls at the altar and held up the sage in front of Zuko. He sent a small flame curling towards it, and she smiled. Grabbing an arctic hen feather, Yuka began wafting the smoke around him and Katara.

“May your hands be cleansed, that they create beautiful things,” she said. She brushed the smoke around their clasped hands. The scent of the burning sage made Zuko shiver slightly in anticipation. “May your feet be cleansed, that they may take you where you most need to be.” Yuka brought the bowl to their feet and let the smoke billow around their ankles. “May your heart be cleansed, that you may hear its message clearly. May your throat be cleansed, that you might speak rightly when words are needed. May your eyes be cleansed, that you may see the signs and wonders of this world.”

She carried the bowl to each designated part of the couple’s bodies, waving the feather so that the smoke could purify them. Zuko couldn’t tear his eyes away from Katara’s. They were brighter than any ocean he’d ever sailed across, softer than any sky he’d ever flown through. He’d never seen them look so blue.

“May this person and this space be washed clean by the smoke of these fragrant plants. And may that smoke carry our prayers, spiraling to the heavens,” Yuka finished. She placed the bowl and the feather on the table at the altar.

“The spirits have come from their world to dance in the sky in celebration of this new marriage,” Yuka said. She lifted her hands in the air to the polar lights above them. “Of a love that defied the odds for the first time since Oma and Shu. Of the peace accompanied by the two nations joining together. We shall praise the spirits endlessly.” She bowed and sat back down as one of the Fire Sages—Hyun—took her place, standing up and heading back to the couple.

“As a custom of the Fire Nation,” Hyun said, “the couple shall now take part in the traditional tea ceremony.” He turned towards the table and moved a teapot and several cups to the couple. He lifted the lid of the teapot, and Katara bent the snow around her into the container, turning it into liquid water as it moved through the air. Zuko sent a steady flame underneath the pot, careful not to make the fire too hot and make the leaves bitter. He knew his uncle never appreciated when he did that.

After several moments, the tea had finished. Iroh walked to the front of the altar, as did Ursa and Noren, who held Kiyi’s hand. The family members took a seat before the audience, and Katara poured the tea into several cups. Zuko placed two red dates into each cup, while Katara dropped two lotus seeds into each. When the tea was prepared, the couple knelt down on scarlet and gold, satin pillows before the family. They offered a cup to Iroh first—who enthusiastically accepted it, followed by Noren, Ursa, and then Kiyi.

_Please don’t be bitter. Please don’t be bitter_ , Zuko thought to himself. _Agni knows I worked too hard to figure out how to make tea to have Uncle wince in front of all these people._

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when Iroh gave him a smile instead of a grimace. He handed Zuko a red envelope, and he bowed to the older man. He passed the envelope to Sokka, but Toph took it from him and tried to hide it underneath her parka. Suki smacked her hand, and the younger girl pulled the envelope back out with a grin.

Once the four had finished their tea, they stood up, bowed to the couple, and took a seat with the audience on the warm, fluffy furs once more. Then, Hakoda, Kanna, Pakku, and Sokka filled the now-empty seats, and the couple repeated the process, serving tea to Katara’s family from oldest to youngest and accepting a red envelope in return.

After the tea was finished, Hyun went back to sit with the other Fire Sages, and Hanta took his place. He brought a gold-rimmed bowl of water up from the table and cleared his throat to speak. “An ancient Water Tribe custom, we shall now thank the spirits for the man and woman before us, before Tui, La, and Yue. The couple has asked for Master Pakku of the Northern Water Tribe to perform the ritual.” He bowed, backed up, and allowed Pakku to meet the couple.

“I’m proud of you both,” he whispered, low enough that no one else could hear. “You’ve come such a long way from the traumatized children who were forced to end a war they didn’t create. I’m so, so proud.”

“Thank you,” Katara whispered back. She blinked away the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. Zuko blessed the spirits for the woman in front of him. _She’s so amazing. I can’t believe she’s going to be my wife._

Pakku bent the water out of the bowl and moved it throughout the air elaborately. It danced around the couple, wrapping them both in Katara’s natural element. It was a strange sensation. The water didn’t quite touch them, but it was close enough that they could feel the soft mist brushing their bare cheeks as it spiraled around them.

“In the names of Tui, and La, and Yue, we give thanks to the spirits for the couple before us,” Pakku said. “For Zuko, we thank you for his strength and love. Allow him to provide his wife with a firm foundation. Allow him to take care of her and their family. To provide her with security and love. To the spirits in the sky, the seas, and between.”

“Nakurmiik,” the tribe said, all at the same time.

“For Katara,” he recited, “we thank you for her willingness and dedication. Allow her to provide her husband with security. Allow her to make their home. To provide him with children. To the spirits in the sky, the seas, and between.”

“Nakurmiik,” they repeated.

He lifted his hands up slowly, bringing the water up with him. Zuko watched in awe as the soft streams moved up the sky like a dragon, smoothly but with a motive. Pakku spread his hands quickly, and the water transformed to snow, falling around the couple in soft, gentle flakes. Zuko couldn’t help but let his jaw drop in wonder. Pakku bowed before walking back to the audience and taking his seat once more, and Hyun stood back up and took his place.

“Just as the Southern Water Tribe has a waterbending ritual, the Fire Nation also has a firebending custom for weddings,” Hyun said. “It is a test of trust within the two parties. Now, Fire Lord Zuko and Master Katara, if you will, please hold out your left hands.”

Zuko held out his hand and watched as Katara did the same. His hand was shaking madly, and he knew everyone could tell. Hyun grabbed a thin red ribbon and tied one edge to Zuko’s ring finger, followed by Katara’s.

“As you light the thread,” Hyun recited, “you must make sure not to burn her. For her safety rests with you. Likewise, you mustn’t burn through the thread either, nor should the fire go out. For that is a sign of a bad omen, a relationship failed.”

_Don’t screw this up. Don’t screw this up._

His eyes darted from his shaking hand to Katara’s soft eyes. They were so full of love and trust. If she trusted him, then maybe he could trust himself not to botch this ceremony either.

_You can do this._

“Fire Lord Zuko,” Hyun said, “please light the thread.”

He took a deep breath and set a small flame from his ring finger. It crawled across the ribbon slowly, setting the thread alight. He made sure to concentrate on not letting the fire get too hot or too dim. He couldn’t burn Katara, but he also didn’t want to let the fire go out either.

As the flame crept across the ribbon and moved closer to Katara’s hand, Zuko made sure to stop the flame from advancing just as it brushed her finger. He could hear her breathing deeply beside him, but her breaths weren’t shaky. She wasn’t nervous.

_She trusts me._

He held the fire there for several moments until Hyun gave him a smile. “You may extinguish your flame.”

Instantly, Zuko released his grip on the fire and let the flame die out. The ribbon, although black and charred, was still intact. Katara’s ring finger wasn’t burned. He smiled.

Hyun untied the ribbon gently, careful not to break it. Most firebending couples saved the ribbon, a memory of their wedding and their love and trust for one another. He placed it on the table at the altar, and Katara and Zuko turned back to face each other, holding hands once more.

As Hyun sat back with the Fire Sages and Hanta stepped back into the center of the altar, just behind the couple’s clasped hands, Zuko felt his heart lurch into his throat. _Here it comes. Here it comes._

_It’s fine. Just focus on Katara. Focus on Katara. Focus on Katara._

_Agni, have her eyes always been this gorgeous? And her nose…she’s always had the cutest nose. And spirits, her lips…_

He smiled as he stared down at her, but she gave him an odd look. He blinked, and she giggled.

It took a moment to realize everyone was staring at him, waiting.

“Huh?” he asked.

Katara laughed, pulling one of her hands away from his to hide her smile. The rest of the audience laughed as well, and Hanta gave him a kind smile. “Sounds like someone’s a little nervous,” he joked.

_Okay, never mind_ , Zuko thought. _Don’t focus on Katara._

“I _said_ ,” Hanta repeated, “Do you, Zuko, take Katara to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” he said confidently, but mentally, he was kicking himself. _I’ve probably made us both look stupid._ However, his fears washed away as Katara smiled at him. _Agni, she’s so beautiful._

“And do you, Katara, take Zuko to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” she said, smiling impossibly larger. Zuko felt his heart flutter.

Hanta smiled at the two before turning to the altar and picking up another bowl, one filled with red clay. Katara pulled off one of her mittens, and Zuko followed her lead. They placed the mittens at the altar, just beside the empty bowl that was initially filled with water. “As you dip your fingers in the clay,” Hanta said, “may it remind you of the unbreakable bond you will share, now and forever. Now, if you will, please present to the other the Mark of the Loved.”

Zuko dipped his index finger into the terracotta-colored paint. He knew his hands were shaking madly, but Katara smiled at him patiently. Bringing his finger up to her forehead, he painted the symbol on her skin—two perpendicular lines with a dot on either side of the horizontal line. Hanta handed him a cloth to wipe the paint off his finger, and Zuko almost dropped it. Katara giggled at him, but he simply smiled back as he somehow managed to wipe his finger clean without losing the cloth.

Katara dipped her own finger into the bowl, much more confidently than Zuko had. He wondered if she was as nervous as he was. However, when he felt her cool, clay-covered finger touch his skin, he felt his nerves relax. Her touch was soothing, but the act still sent sparks down his spine. She drew the vertical line first, followed by the horizontal one directly in the center of his forehead. Finishing the symbol with a dot on either side, she gave him a smile before wiping her fingers off on the cloth, just as Zuko had.

“From this day forward,” Hanta said, “in life and death, on Earth and the Spirit World, you two are linked together. In the name of La, Tui, and Yue.” He turned to Zuko, waiting for him to recite the words.

“We have now become united as husband and wife in this shrine,” Zuko said. He tried to concentrate on his voice over the words, careful to make sure his voice didn’t shake or crack. “We respectfully pledge to make our hearts as one, give mutual help and support, faithfully execute our marital duties and responsibilities, and spend all the days of our lives together with unchanging trust and eternal affection.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Hanta said. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Zuko leaned forward and pulled Katara close to him, pressing her body against his as he closed the gap between them. Her lips were soft and warm, and they sent sparks across his skin and down his spine. He felt himself melt under her touch, and he brought his hand up to cradle her cheek. Her eyelashes were soft against his cheekbone, and the way her tongue flicked his teasingly made his knees buckle. He could barely register the sound of applause around them. He was too ravished by her beauty, enthralled by her passion, overcome with love for her.

When they pulled apart, he was breathless, and he could see by her flushed features that she was too. Hyun grabbed the golden headpiece off the table, and Katara turned towards the audience. She dropped to her knees, kneeling down before them.

“All hail Fire Lady Katara,” Hyun declared. He pushed the crescent-shaped headpiece into her hair, directly through the braid-woven bun. Although Zuko knew it was supposed to be a flame, he’d never realized how much it looked like a moon until now. It was like it was meant for her.

She stood up and faced Zuko once more, her eyes shining brightly as all the stars in the sky. They reflected the polar lights above them. He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles gently before leading her back down the aisle. The men along the sides of the audience began beating their drums, and one of the Fire Sages rang a gong. The newlyweds walked down the aisle as the audience erupted in applause.

However, Zuko felt like he was floating. He squeezed Katara’s hand gently.

_I’m married._

* * *

After the feast, everything was cleared away to make room for the dancefloor. Katara smiled as several Fire Nation musicians began playing a soft melody, slow but with a hopeful tone. The Water Tribe weddings all began with throat singing and ritualistic dances. The Fire Nation, however, had a different kind of first dance.

“Ready?” Zuko asked. He stood up and offered her his hand. She felt her heart flutter with love but pound with nerves. It was an odd sensation.

“Yeah,” she said. Her throat was dry, and her voice barely came out louder than a whisper. However, it made Zuko happy all the same.

He led her to the dancefloor, where they stood in the center of the audience. He placed his hands on her waist, cradling her gently, and she brought her hands up to rest on the back of his neck.

_The night sky once ruled my imagination. Now I turn the dials with careful calculation._

They swayed together slowly. Katara looked up into Zuko’s soft, golden eyes, and she melted immediately. They were filled with warmth and love. She wanted to sink into them forever.

_After a while, I thought I’d never find you. I convinced myself that I would never find you. When suddenly I saw you._

“You’re so beautiful,” Zuko whispered. His voice was low, just for her to hear. “When I saw you come down the aisle…I was speechless.” _  
  
At first, I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation._

“I had the same thought about you,” Katara admitted. “I don’t know how I made it through the vows.”

“You didn’t forget you were in the middle of your own wedding,” he said. “I was so focused on you that I didn’t realize Elder Hanta was speaking to me.”

She giggled. His flushed, red face came back into her memory. She thought he was so cute standing there, all lovely and in awe. She wanted to kiss him so badly at that moment.

_You’re as beautiful as endless. You’re the universe I’m helpless in._

“I thought it was perfect,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

_An astronomer at my best, when I throw away the measurements._

Zuko spun her around in a circle. Her red and blue dress billowed with the movement, the colors of the skirt meshing together like a sunset over an ocean. She could hear the gasps around them. She knew the dress was a showstopper, but even she didn’t expect that.

However, she could barely focus on the audience. She was too busy watching her husband.

He’d always been striking, but his wedding robes did something to her, had her melting more than usual.

He was stunning, more handsome than she’d ever seen him. Half of his hair was pulled back into a topknot with simple braiding tracing from his scalp up to the bun. Loose strands framed his face, and she couldn’t wait to play with his hair. His robes were scarlet with golden trim and matched the thick sash around his waist. Upon closer inspection, she could see red and blue thread embroidered along the edges of his sleeves and the bottom of his robes. They resembled flames and waves colliding, dancing around each other. His five-pronged headpiece glimmered, but not nearly as much as his eyes did.

He was utterly captivating.

_Like a telescope, I will pull you so close 'til no space lies in between._

They were Yin and Yang. Water and Fire.

Katara and Zuko.

They were perfect together.

Fitting together perfectly, like puzzle pieces formed by the spirits themselves. _  
  
And suddenly I see you. Suddenly I see you._

He cradled her close to him and swept her around the dancefloor. She blessed the spirits for having a husband who knew how to dance. She knew he was classically-trained when he was younger, something only allowed for royalty. Commoners weren’t allowed to, barely knew what dancing was until Zuko redid the laws and permitted it.

She was so lucky. _  
  
I was a billion little pieces 'til you pulled me into focus._

They swayed together under the violet sky. The color purple—the combination of their elements, their respective nations.

_Astronomy in reverse. It was me who was discovered._

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much. I can’t believe you’re my wife.” _  
  
I thought I’d never find you. When suddenly I saw you._

“I love you too,” she said. “Tui and La, you make me so happy.”

His smile lit up the night more than the polar lights did. _  
  
Like a telescope, I will pull you so close 'til no space lies in between.  
_

He spun her around once more, and they glided across the dancefloor before slowing down.

_Then suddenly I see you._

As the song finished, Zuko lifted her chin up towards him. She let her eyes flutter shut as she felt his lips against hers. Soft and warm, each of his kisses felt even better than the last. Her limbs grew weak as he darted his tongue against her bottom lip.

When they broke apart, drums immediately began playing around them. Zuko paled instantly, knowing full and well what was about to happen, but Katara grinned.

“Come on, Zuko! You practiced with Sokka and Dad!”

Hanta and Ujurak started throat singing, their deep voices carrying through the air around them.

“Don’t laugh at me if I can’t get the footwork right.”

“Oh, you’re going to be fine. It’s supposed to be fun!”

Together, they began the ritualistic dance. Katara thumped her left foot several times on the ground, balancing her weight on her right foot as she tilted her body slightly. Raising her arms outward, a large smile pulled at her cheeks. Zuko took a deep breath before following her lead, stomping his right foot and balancing his weight on his left.

Her skirt billowed as she moved, and his robes flowed with hers. They raised their hands up in the air as they stomped, circling around each other. Katara could see his fear melt away as his confidence grew.

“Told you it was fun!” she laughed over the sound of the men singing. “And you’ve danced like this with me before. I don’t know why you were so nervous.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, smiling wildly.

The men all gathered out to the dancefloor, and Katara backed away to watch her husband join the tribe. They all stomped, balancing their weight back and forth between their feet as they spun in circles. They bent their arms in different positions, mirroring the ancient dances of her people, of the spirits that guided them. She laughed as Sokka pulled Zuko into a quick-paced spin.

As the men backed off, the women took their spot. Katara found herself dancing between Nuvua and Suki as she pounded on the ground with her feet. The beaded, tassel-covered parkas around her made the dance even more colorful and vibrant, and the laughter around her made her smile.

When the men came back out onto the dance floor, she met back up with Zuko in the middle of the dancefloor, spinning and stomping their way through the different moves. He spun her around, and she laughed wildly.

Everything felt so perfect.

When the music slowed and a new song replaced the throat singing, the newlyweds found themselves taking a seat at a nearby table. Breathing heavily, Katara downed a glass of water, and Toph elbowed her ribcage.

“Your hearts are beating like crazy,” she said. “Having a good time out there?”

“Only way it would be better is if you were out there too,” Katara said.

Toph snorted. “As if. You know I’m not going out there.”

“Oh, come on, Toph. It’s our wedding,” Zuko said.

“Don’t guilt-trip me.”

“Toph!”

The three of them turned to see Aang—sweaty but smiling—rushing towards them. “Toph, come dance with me!”

“What? No! I just told these two I wouldn’t dance!”

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” Aang said.

“Sorry, I’m having too much fun watching the others.”

The airbender shrugged. “Well, you’d have a much better view of Sokka if you were on the dancefloor.”

Toph perked up. “Is he going super hard and thinking he’s amazing?”

“You know it.”

She jumped up. “Move out of the way, Twinkle Toes! I need a front-row seat!” Aang grinned and chased after her as they made their way through the crowd.

“You think they’re next?” Zuko asked.

“Definitely,” Katara said, watching the two of them go off onto the dancefloor. “They just haven’t realized it yet.”

Before they had a chance to react, Iroh snuck up behind them and pulled them into a tight hug.

“Uncle, we’re all sweaty,” Zuko complained. “You don’t have to—”

“I am so happy for you both!” Iroh exclaimed. Tears ran down his cheeks and into his beard. He squeezed them tighter. “I am so, so happy and proud of you.” He turned his head to face Katara’s. “Welcome to the family, my niece.”

Katara felt her eyes water up at the nickname. “Thank you, Uncle.”

“Zuzu! Tara!”

“Hey, Kee,” Zuko said, kneeling down to hug his baby sister. “Did you like the wedding?”

“You were so pretty!” Kiyi said, turning to look at Katara. “Like a princess!”

“Technically, she’d be a queen now,” Noren laughed. He hugged Katara and said, “The wedding was amazing, you two.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said. He and his stepdad hugged, and Ursa walked over too.

“Oh, my love, that was spectacular!” Ursa said. She pulled Zuko into a tight embrace and kissed his cheeks. “That was such a beautiful wedding, and you two looked so happy together, and I’m so happy for you!”

Katara smiled at them as she watched the scene play out. The family looked so happy together. She was so grateful that they found Ursa when they did. She couldn’t imagine not having the woman in her life. She would’ve hated for Zuko to not have his mother at his wedding.

She felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and turned to see Hakoda. “Snowflake,” he said, “the wedding…wow…”

She grinned. “I know! It was amazing!”

“All except when this one forgot to answer,” Iroh joked, placing his hand on Zuko’s shoulder and jostling him gently.

Noren laughed. “That was hilarious! Zuko, ‘huh’ is not an answer for ‘Do you take her as your wife?’”

“Sure was funny though,” Hakoda said, laughing along with them.

“I just got distracted,” Zuko said. His cheeks turned red, all the way up to his ear, in embarrassment. “That’s all.”

“By how pretty your wife was?” Noren asked.

“Yeah,” Zuko admitted honestly.

This just made the men laugh harder.

“I think it’s sweet,” Katara said. She rested her head on her husband’s shoulder and looked up at him with a smile.

Despite the teasing, she had never been happier. Their families were laughing together. Her found family was out having fun on the dancefloor. Her husband was beside her. Everything was so perfect.

As she looked up into the violet sky—which was quickly turning black and revealing all the constellations in the solar system, she couldn’t help but think of how lucky she was.

* * *

When the reception had finally ended a few hours later, Katara couldn’t wait to go to her new house, get in her new bed, and fall asleep with her new husband. The wedding wore her out, and her feet hurt from dancing so long.

However, as soon as Zuko carried her into the room, she saw the decorations on the bed and quickly realized that she wasn’t supposed to sleep tonight.

Not yet, anyway.

She felt Zuko stiffen underneath her, just as he put her down gently. Her eyes met the bed, just as his did, and her throat went dry when she saw the red dates, peanuts, and longan and lotus seeds scattered along the bedspread. Their bedrolls were on top of several thick furs, making the bed seem fluffier.

“Zuko…” She let her fingertips brush his, and he took her hand in his.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, tearing his eyes away from the bed to meet hers.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Katara said. “We have the rest of our lives to worry about that.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I…I want to try.”

“Positive?”

Zuko nodded. “Positive.”

“Okay,” Katara breathed, trying to relax her own nerves. “Come on. Let’s clean up the bed, at least.”

Together, they scooped up the seeds and food, placing them on a small fur beside the bed for safekeeping. However, as she was moving them, she noticed two goblets tied together with a red string. Next to them was a bottle of plum wine, a plate of dumplings, and two red candles—one with a golden dragon emblem and the other with a golden phoenix.

“What…”

“It’s a Fire Nation ritual,” Zuko said. “The candles are supposed to drive away bad spirits. Do…should I light them now?”

Katara shrugged. “It’s your custom, not mine.” Zuko turned and bent a flame towards the two candles. The fire caught the wicks of both. They gave the room a soft, romantic glow.

Sitting down on the bed, Zuko reached for the goblets and poured some wine into each cup. He handed one to his wife, making sure to move slowly since the stems were connected with string. He didn’t want to spill the wine everywhere and embarrass himself even more.

“When we drink, we have to cross our arms with each other,” he said. His hand shook slightly, but Katara smiled and nodded.

“Like this?” She faced him and intertwined her arm with his before switching her goblet so that her linked arm held it.

“Yeah,” he said. “Like that.” They lifted their arms up together and drank the wine at the same time, keeping their arms intertwined. When they finished their cups, Zuko pressed a kiss to her lips, and she pushed against him slightly.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the side of the wall gently, just loud enough to get the newlyweds’ attention. They pulled away quickly, and Katara moved the empty goblets next to the seeds, date, and peanuts.

“Come in!” Zuko called.

The furs were pushed aside, and Iroh, Ursa, and Hakoda walked into the home.

“What are you doing here?” Katara asked, raising an eyebrow at the trio.

“Nephew, you didn’t tell her!” Iroh said.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about it,” he said.

“I’m so confused,” she said, looking back and forth between her husband and their families.

“It’s a Fire Nation ritual that the groom’s family feeds the bride half-cooked dumplings the night of the wedding,” Ursa said. She pointed to the plate beside the wine bottle. “That’s why they’re there.”

“We ask if they’re raw, and you’re supposed to say, ‘Raw,’” Iroh added.

“That’s strange, but okay,” Katara said. “Where did that stem from?”

“In our ancient native language, the character has two meanings: raw and to give birth,” Ursa said. She moved the plate of dumplings so that the dish rested in her lap when she sat down. “It’s supposed to symbolize fertility.”

“Oh…okay, that makes sense,” she said. She felt Zuko’s hand rest on her lower back, and Ursa lifted the chopsticks to her daughter-in-law’s mouth. Katara leaned forward to take a bite, trying to hide her giggle. She hadn’t been fed like this since she was a child.

“Is it raw?” Iroh asked, his eyes shining.

Katara nodded, still chewing. It had a strange texture. It was slightly doughy, but it was still a little stiff too. It reminded her of the unfried dough from Avatar Day several years ago, but it tasted much better.

When she swallowed, she answered, “Raw.”

Ursa and Iroh grinned, and the old man rested his hand on Zuko’s arm to jostle him slightly with pride. Ursa, however, laid her hand on Katara’s kneecap and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head.

“That’s so interesting,” Hakoda said. “I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”

“Some of the Fire Nation families don’t do the ritual anymore,” Iroh said, “but most still do.”

“Yeah, we have nothing like that in the Southern Water Tribe,” Katara said. She rubbed her tongue along her teeth to get the dough out.

“Alright, we’ll leave you two alone for the night,” Iroh said with a wink. Zuko stiffened and groaned quietly, sinking his face into Katara’s hair to muffle the noise of displeasure.

“Have a good night, you two,” Ursa said. She waved as she followed Iroh and Hakoda out of the house.

“I’m so glad your dad didn’t say anything about it,” Zuko admitted. His face was still buried in her hair.

“Me too,” she said. “I would’ve been so red.” She leaned back to face her husband. “Now, where were we?” She smiled at his blushing face and pulled him into a soft kiss. She slid the hairpiece out of his topknot and released the hair, ruffling it out. He let out little, content noises against her lips as she massaged his scalp gently, right where the tension was and where the hair was pulled by his hairpiece.

She felt his hands trace up to her cheeks and wander into her hair. Knowing how elaborate the braids were, she pulled away from the kiss.

“I can undo it,” she said. “I don’t want you to knot it up more trying to take it out.”

“Your hope in me is outrageous,” he said in a monotone. However, Katara just poked the tip of his nose and began releasing the braids, ties, and beads herself. She set the hairpiece and her beads aside next to the bottle of wine, and she carefully undid the different braids. Meanwhile, Zuko kissed her jawline and up her cheeks.

“You’re in the way,” she said.

“I don’t see you trying to stop me.”

“I’m not.”

The second that she released the last braid, she ran her fingers through her hair to shake out the locks. Her bouncy, brown curls laid loose against her back, and Zuko immediately wove his fingers in to feel the soft strands.

“I love your hair,” he whispered. “It’s so pretty.”

“Yours is probably a lot easier to manage though,” she retorted. “And I think yours is much prettier anyway.”

Zuko shrugged. “To each their own.”

Katara pressed him back against the bed, and she brought her lips back up to his. His fingers in her hair only made the kiss even deeper, more passionate. She loved him so much, never wanted to leave his side.

Zuko began trailing kisses down her jaw and along her neck. Each of the nerve-endings along her sensitive skin lit up, and his gentle lips made her senses stop working. Her mouth fell open, and her eyes closed, relaxing against the pillows and furs as he kissed up and down her neck.

She didn’t realize how sensitive her skin was there. Her heartbeat raced as his lips tucked closer to her ear, gently nibbling on her earlobe and flicking the skin with his tongue. She cursed under her breath and brought her fingers into his hair.

As he drew closer to her collarbone, Katara shrugged off her shawl and tossed it to the floor. She wanted him to kiss her shoulders, the crook of her neck. She wanted his lips on every inch of her skin.

Her fingers traced along the edges of his robe, skirting just underneath the top. He released his lips from her skin and moved away from her.

“Can I take this off?” Katara asked, fingering the thick robes on his back.

“Yeah,” he said. His voice was dry, tight. He cleared his throat and swallowed. “Yeah, you can.”

She smiled and lifted the heavy shoulder piece off of him. He took it from her and placed it on the floor next to her shawl. Next, she moved her hands down to the belt at his waist. Untying the sash, she let it fall to the ground before pushing his robes off his shoulders.

Katara slept next to him every night, and every night, she saw him shirtless. However, it never failed to impress her. His muscles were so defined, and his pale skin looked delectable. She wanted to kiss him all night—every mark, scar, and muscle.

“You’re so handsome,” she whispered. She lowered her head to kiss his clavicle, then his pectoral. He groaned slightly from above her, and the noise went straight to Katara’s lower stomach. _Damn._

Zuko leaned back down to her, kissing her neck before dragging his tongue against her collarbone. She arched her back against him and let a small moan escape her lips.

“Do you want me to take off my dress?” she asked, pulling away from him slightly to find her voice.

His fingers traced along her sides. “Yeah, I do. Do you need help out of it?”

“Yes, please.”

Zuko scooted back, letting Katara sit up. She turned around, exposing her back towards him. He kissed her bare shoulder before releasing a few of the clips from behind. His long fingers untied the small corset-style ribbons that lined her back, and when the fabric loosened, she took a deep breath.

Katara turned back around to face her husband. Before she lost her confidence, she quickly pulled off the dress, leaving herself in nothing but her sarashi wraps. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before. After all, he’d witnessed her training Aang before Sozin’s Comet, and she always waterbended in her cloth wraps. However, there was something more intimate about this, about him seeing her this way.

She was so lost in her love for him that she almost didn’t register the hitched breath that came from his lungs.

“Are you okay?” she asked. She placed one of her hands on his leg, just above his kneecap.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? We can stop whenever you need to.”

“I’m okay,” he said. “It’s just…spirits, Katara, you’re gorgeous.”

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss his lips passionately. He laced his fingers in her hair, and she brought her hands up to rest on his abs. His tongue traced hers playfully, and she smiled against him.

“Can I go a little further?” she asked when they separated. “You can say no if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay,” he said between breaths. Katara smiled and kissed his jaw before loosening the ties at his pants, leaving him in just underwear.

If he wanted to go any further, she wanted him to be the one to initiate from here on out. She wanted him to know he was safe, that she would respect any and all of his desires. She couldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want, not again.

However, she didn’t need to tell him to initiate anything. As he leaned forward to kiss her again, he took the reins. He gently traced her bare sides with his fingertips as he kissed the sensitive skin at her neck. She moaned softly and sank her fingers into his hair.

“You can kiss me lower,” she said. “You can kiss me wherever you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She let her fingers rub the sides of his jaw gently. “I’m sure.”

He brought his lips a little lower, just above the top of her cloth wraps. He pulled away slightly and looked up towards her, meeting her eyes for confirmation. When she nodded, she helped him undo the cloths as she exposed herself to him.

She wanted to close her eyes, to cover her chest. But the other part of her wanted to see his reaction. She watched him as his eyes grew wide, as he kissed the top of her breast, just where it began to dip into her cleavage.

Knotting her fingers into his hair, she let him take the reins. She let out little, soft noises as he pressed gentle kisses along her skin. It was impossibly more sensitive than her neck, and she couldn’t help but arch her spine into his touch. His tongue licked stripes into her cleavage, and she moaned into the sensation.

_Tui and La._

She let her fingers run over his bare back, down the pale skin until she reached the waistband of his undergarments. She dipped her fingers gently under the waistband, just barely far enough to brush the sensitive skin above his rear.

He stiffened immediately.

“I love the feeling of your lips on me,” Katara said, pulling her fingers back up to brush his lower back again. She didn’t want to bring attention to it, but she couldn’t just leave him uncomfortable either. “I love your kisses and the feeling of your hands.”

As Zuko relaxed above her, he brought his lips to hers once more. Kisses were safe. Kisses were comforting.

No matter how awkward she felt—completely exposed for him to see, it didn’t compare to what she knew he was going through. She wanted him to feel good, just like he was making her feel, but she didn’t know how to do that without triggering him. All she knew was to watch for his reactions and listen to him.

She hoped that was enough.

After several minutes of gentle kisses, Zuko brought his lips back down to her breasts before kissing lower, soft lines down to her navel. He littered her ribcage with kisses, with little, kitten licks. Katara moaned underneath him, knotting her fingers in his hair every time that she felt her heart race faster.

She shifted slightly to get a better angle, and she felt her thigh brush something stiff. Zuko immediately tensed up and made a soft sound that he muffled into her skin. It didn’t sound the same as it did when she kissed his chest. Instead, it sounded panicked.

“Zu? Are you alright, baby?” Katara rubbed little circles into his back gently. “Do you need to stop?”

“Just…just give me a minute,” he grunted. She felt his breaths, heavy against her shoulder, become quick with anxiety. She waited patiently, rubbing his back and massaging the tension out of his shoulders.

“It’s just us,” she whispered into his ear. She kissed the shell of his ear before continuing. “It’s just you and me. I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never do that to you.”

She would be patient for him. She would always be patient for him.

“Okay…I’m…I’m okay,” he breathed.

“Are you sure?” He nodded. “We can stop whenever you want. We don’t need to do everything tonight.”

“I want to,” he said. “I want to try.”

“Okay,” Katara said. “Just know you can stop whenever you need.”

He nodded and leaned back down to kiss her.

It took longer to prepare him to make love to her than she anticipated it would, but she wouldn’t change a thing about their first night together. They moved slowly, as not to hurt the other. It was awkward and scary, but it was so nice too. As she laid in their bed, their limbs intertwined, she couldn’t help but know that this was how it was meant to be.

Just before they fell asleep, soaked in sweat and covered in fluids that she knew would be a pain to clean the next morning, Katara sent a prayer to the spirits, thanking them for the man at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa. This was such a long chapter. However, I really wanted to include so much in this one, since I've been waiting for this, and I know you all were too.
> 
> Also, a few of the comments mentioned wanting me to include a little more angst via Zuko and Katara's first time together. To be honest, I've never written smut before and don’t feel completely comfortable writing full, blown-out sex. But hopefully, the last scene was fulfilling enough for those commenters. :)
> 
> Like Sokka and Suki's wedding, this one combined elements from different cultures. Zuko's was mainly inspired by Chinese rituals, while Katara's was inspired by Inuit and Native American ones. However, both include a few western traditions and some made-up ones for the waterbending and firebending ceremonies. 
> 
> Also, “Nakurmiik” means “thank you” in Inuktitut, and the song used for their first dance is “Venus” by Sleeping At Last.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! One more left! :)


	60. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten years after their wedding, Zuko and Katara meet up with the Gaang again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always helped me to know ages when reading, so I thought maybe you guys would like to know them too. :)
> 
> Yue—10 years old, nonbender, Sukka  
> Izumi—8 years old, firebender, Zutara  
> Bumi—7 years old, earthbender, Taang  
> Jiayi—7 years old, nonbender, Sukka  
> Kallik—6 years old, waterbender, Zutara  
> Nilak—6 years old, nonbender, Sukka  
> Iroh—5 years old, firebender, Zutara  
> Kya—5 years old, waterbender, Zutara  
> Meilin—5 years old, airbender, Taang

The sun poured through the window, and its soft rays warmed Zuko awake. He felt his internal fire heat up along with his skin, and the familiar sensation soothed him.

Flipping over, he smiled upon seeing his sleeping wife, cuddled up on the mattress beside him. She had one arm thrown over his center lazily, and her face was pressed against his arm. Her chocolate brown curls were knotted with sleep, and her lips were parted slightly. She always looked so peaceful in her sleep.

Ten years since their wedding, and she was still beautiful. More beautiful than ever.

Zuko leaned forward slowly and kissed her forehead. However, she didn’t even flinch.

It was mornings like these where everything seemed so perfect. He wished life could stay like this forever, like the little snapshots of his perfect mornings. He wanted to lay in bed forever.

Little footsteps pounded on the floor, growing louder and louder with each step. He mentally prepared himself for whatever method they would use today.

“Daddy! Mommy! Wake up!”

_Flop._

“OOF!”

Katara blinked awake as she tried to focus on the sight in front of her. Her sapphire eyes were bleary, and she tried to rub the sleep away. Zuko wished they would’ve let her sleep a little longer. She needed it.

“Hey, kiddo,” Zuko said. His voice was raspy with sleep, but he leaned over and ruffled his son’s hair as enthusiastically as he could muster. “How did you get up on the bed all by yourself? Did you grow last night?”

“Mmmm, probably got those genes from you,” Katara mumbled. She snuggled deeper into her husband’s side to fight away the bright sunlight.

“I didn’t get tall until late puberty,” Zuko chuckled. “It’s probably that Water Tribe blood.”

“Come on! You’ve got to get up!” the little boy—Kallik—begged. He tugged on Zuko’s hair gently, just as he had always seen his father do to his Aunt Toph. “Nilak is coming today!”

“Oh, yeah,” Katara said. She sat up and rubbed her eyes again.

“Oh, no,” Zuko said. He let his six-year-old son crawl into his lap as he sat up. “You know what that means.”

“It’s about to be loud in here,” Katara agreed. She reached over and used her fingers to brush out their son’s thick, raven curls.

Despite all of the children being close—both in age and in friendship, some of them were closer than others. And Kallik had found his best friend in his cousin, Nilak, both of whom were the same age. Katara couldn’t wait for them to grow up together. She knew they would be close even in their old age.

A little figure poked her head into the doorway. Her golden eyes—honey-colored just like her father’s—were wide as she stared into the bedroom. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course, you can, Zum,” Katara said. She scooted over to allow her eldest daughter to sit beside her. Izumi curled up into her lap and rested her head on Katara’s chest. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” she said, relaxing into her touch. She knew she was getting a little old to be sitting in her mother’s lap, but she couldn’t help herself.

“What’s the matter, turtleduck?” Zuko said. “You’re usually more awake than this.” He poked her nose—the one she got from Katara—gently. She nodded against Katara’s chest as her eyes fluttered shut.

“I’m tired,” Izumi said.

“Well, that won’t last long,” Katara said with a smile. “The others are coming today. I know you haven’t seen your aunts and uncles in a while.”

Izumi poked her head up. “They’re coming today?”

“Yeah! Aren’t you excited?” Kallik chirped.

“We should probably get the twins,” Katara said, turning her head to face Zuko. “La knows they’ll sleep away the whole morning if we don’t wake them up first.”

“Who does that sound like?” Zuko teased. However, he stood up, keeping Kallik in his arms. “But yeah, I’ll get them.”

Kallik wriggled slightly in Zuko’s arms, and he put the little boy down. He ran down the hall, surely going to his sibling’s room, although Zuko wasn’t sure which one yet. He followed his son down the hall, watching to see whose room he went into. When he went into the one on the left, Zuko went into the other one. There was no point in both of them going into the same room. He knew Kallik would wake him up himself.

As Zuko knocked on the door softly, he pushed it open and looked over at his sleeping daughter. “Kya?” he whispered, inching closer to her bed. “Wake up, little cub.”

The girl flipped over sleepily and rubbed her eyes until they fluttered awake. He was met with bright, sapphire irises, ones that were the exact shade of his wife’s. “Daddy?”

“Good morning,” he said with a soft smile. He knelt down next to her bed and pushed her brown curls away from her face. Out of all of his kids, he’d always believed that Kya looked the most like Katara. She was like a little carbon copy, but with his svelte form and thin nose.

Kya yawned and pulled the blanket up a little higher. “What time is it?”

“Time for you to get up,” he said. “Come on. Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki are going to be here soon, and Uncle Aang and Aunt Toph are right behind them.”

Kya poked her head up. “Okay! I’ll get up!” The sleep immediately disappeared from her voice as she hopped out of bed, kicking her covers off with her bare, coffee-colored legs.

Zuko watched as she scurried out of her room, and he followed behind her. When he walked back into the hallway, he was immediately met with the sleepy, golden eyes of Iroh.

“Good morning, buddy,” he said. He stuck his arms out and let his youngest son climb into them. He held the boy against him as he carried him down the hallway.

“Hmmm,” Ro mumbled, resting his head against his father’s shoulder and falling limp into his touch. Zuko smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Daddy! Mommy’s making dumplings for breakfast!” Kallik called from halfway down the hallway. His face was red from excitement.

Agni, he loved his family.

* * *

“Zuko! Buddy!” Sokka slapped a hand over the Fire Lord’s shoulder, and he winced slightly at the action. However, Sokka didn’t comment on it. “How’s it going?”

“Fine until you bruised my shoulder,” Zuko said. He shrugged off the younger man’s hand, but he still pulled him into an embrace. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Katara walked through the doorway, little Kya in one arm, hitched up on her hipbone. Holding her right hand was Ro, whose golden eyes were brighter upon seeing his beloved uncle. Kallik and Izumi trailed behind them, jabbering amongst themselves with each step.

“Sokka! Suki! Welcome back!” Katara smiled brightly and turned to look towards her children. “Sealpups, look who’s here!”

“Uncle Sokka!” Kallik ran over to the man, who picked him up and swung him around. The little boy giggled, and his laughter rang through the air.

Izumi, however, ran to her aunt, who bent down to hug her. “Hey, sweetheart! Have you been good for Mommy and Daddy?”

“Yes, I have!” she said. “And I’ve been working on the forms you showed me!”

“Oh, you have? Looks like you’re going to have to show me.” Suki nuzzled her cheek and stroked back her glossy, raven hair.

“Is Nilak here?” Kallik asked. He hopped up and down as he waited impatiently for a response. However, Sokka just laughed.

“Yeah,” he said, scooping Kya up in his arms and ruffling Ro’s silky waves. “They’re being big helpers right now by helping with Aang and Toph’s stuff.”

“Auntie Toph and Uncle Aang! They’re here too!” Kya wiggled out of his grasp and hightailed down the hallway. Her siblings flew after her, leaving the adults alone in the hallway.

Katara leaned forward and hugged Suki tightly, followed by Sokka. “It’s so nice to see you again!”

“Yeah, but what happened to coming to the Southern Water Tribe?” Sokka teased. “You said you’d come down there next.”

“That was before Ro got sick,” Katara said. She rolled her eyes and shoved her brother by the bicep gently. “I told you.”

“You know Dad misses you guys.”

“No, he misses his grandkids,” Zuko joked, cracking a smile. “He could care less about us.”

“We’ll be down there soon,” Katara promised. “Zum’s been asking to go back for a little while, so it’s about time we take a trip down.” The four began walking down the hallway after the children. “Maybe within the next year or so.”

“Our kiddos don’t really care as long as they get to see yours,” Suki said with a shrug and a smile. “Yue’s been begging to see Izumi, so this trip was definitely well-needed. That girl’s been driving me up the wall with how much she’s been begging.”

“It’s a wonder they’re as close as they are,” Katara agreed. “I really like that though.”

As they rounded the corner, the shrill yells and laughter grew louder and louder. They all prepared themselves for the impact of several kids launching their entire body weight against them.

However, as they walked into the courtyard, where Appa was parked on the concrete lazily, they were met with the bright eyes and laughter of all nine of their kids.

“Sparky! Sugar Queen!” Toph yelled. “‘Bout time you got over here! Get your gremlins off my legs!” She lifted her right leg and wiggled it, and Kallik only laughed harder and tightened his grip.

“Higher, Auntie Toph! Higher! Higher!”

“All right, come on,” Zuko said. He ushered the kids away from her, and they all ran towards him instead.

“Uncle Zuko!” He was met by a face full of Jiayi’s thick, chocolate-colored hair. “I missed you!” she said, burying her face into the crook in his neck.

“I missed you too,” he said, wrapping her up with one of his arms. In the other arm, he grabbed Yue, Sokka and Suki’s eldest. “You too, Yue.”

The older girl looked at him with wide, light blue eyes—the same shade as Sokka’s. “Uncle Zuko! Guess what I did!”

“Hmmm…” He pretended to think deeply, taking his time to dramatically ponder the question. “You took an entire arctic wolf-bear down all by yourself?!”

The little girl giggled. “No! Ms. Ty Lee taught me how to chi block! Watch!” She jabbed her fingers into Zuko’s shoulder blade, and his entire arm collapsed. It drooped down limply, and Suki immediately swept her out of his hug.

“Yue! What did we tell you about doing that without warning?” she said sternly.

“Not to,” Yue pouted.

“Hey, don’t be down,” Zuko said. He let go of Jiayi with the arm that wasn’t hanging limply at his side. “That was really great. You got me on the first try, and without much warning!” He ruffled Yue’s auburn hair lovingly. “Let’s hope no one ever chooses to mess with you.” Yue grinned in return, her pout disappearing immediately off her full lips.

Aang walked over to Zuko and clapped his hand over his back playfully, with much less force than Sokka had used. “Zuko! It’s great to see you!”

“How was your trip?” he asked. “Hopefully, that storm the other day didn’t throw you off too much.”

Aang shrugged. “Eh, only a little. It could’ve been much worse. I think Bumi and Lin had it the worst. At least Toph and I are used to traveling through bad weather.” He turned his head. “Bumi! Meilin! Come say hi!”

Two kids—both with pale skin and heads of thick, black hair—tore themselves away from the other children. They pounced on Zuko, grabbing onto his hips and hugging him tightly.

“Hi!” Bumi grinned. He rested his chin on Zuko’s hipbone as he looked up at him.

“Hey, kiddo,” he said. “Look how tall you’re getting!”

“I’m tall too, Uncle Zuko!” Lin said. She reached her arms up to be lifted, but Katara got her first.

“Hey, pretty girl!”

“Aunt Katara!” Lin shrieked. She reached her hands up to her hair loopies and played with the golden hair beads, the ones that Zuko had carved for her back when they were still young. “Look what I can do!” She stretched her hand outward, and with it, a gust of wind spiraled from her fingertips. The air was aimed straight at Nilak, whose auburn hair would’ve been mussed had it not been pulled back into its signature, Water Tribe wolf tail.

“Look at you!” Katara exclaimed. She bounced the little girl in her arms. “An airbender!”

“Yeah,” Aang said. He looked down at his youngest child with love and pride in his eyes. “She found out a few weeks ago. I wanted to write to you, but Toph figured she should just show you in person.”

“And wasn’t that a better surprise?” Toph said, butting into the conversation. She walked towards the group and rested her head on Aang’s shoulder.

“It really was,” Zuko agreed. He ruffled Lin’s hair. “I’m so proud of you!” The little girl grinned.

“It’s hard now,” Aang said. “Trying to raise two benders. It was easier when Bumi wasn’t chucking rocks everywhere and Lin wasn’t breaking glasses with gusts of wind.”

“You’re telling us,” Katara said. “We’ve got four benders.”

“That’s true,” Aang said. “Hey, Sokka! Suki!” he called. “We’ll trade ya!”

“Trade what?” Sokka said, grabbing one of the suitcases from Appa’s saddle and tossing it down to Nilak and Kallik.

However, the other four just laughed amongst themselves.

It was good to have the Gaang back together.

* * *

"I think I'm getting a little more motion in my arm again,” Zuko said.

“Aw, you poor thing,” Toph said. However, Zuko leaned over and tugged on a strand of her hair playfully. Even in all their years, nothing had changed between them.

“We haven’t had a night without the kids in so long,” Suki said, pouring herself another glass of wine. “I was looking forward to it, but now it just feels weird.”

“I know,” Katara agreed. “I feel like I should be waiting for something to go wrong.”

“Especially with Bumi, Kallik, and Nilak together,” Aang said. “But I mean…if the servants said they could handle it…”

“I have faith in them,” Toph said. “It’s just for a couple of hours.”

“We should drop by more often if it means free babysitters,” Sokka joked.

Katara scoffed. “As if Dad doesn’t drop everything to be with his grandkids.”

“That’s true,” Suki said. She took a sip of her wine. “We’re so lucky to have him and Gran Gran.”

“She’s expecting more,” Sokka added, “but we’re done. You mind popping out a few more so we can get her off our back?”

Zuko scoffed. “Uncle’s been wanting us to have more too. But we’re done as well. Those four are already a handful. We don’t need any more.”

“Especially after the twins,” Katara said. “I’m not going through labor again.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Toph said, flinging the rim of her half-empty wine glass through the air with pinched fingers.

“It’s hard, but I wouldn’t change it for the world,” Suki said. She leaned back in her chair, and her eyes became lidded as she thought of her children. “Watching them grow, and learn, and become actual people is the best feeling.”

“And don’t forget about watching our husbands become absolute saps,” Toph said. She nudged her elbow into Aang’s side and wiggled it playfully. “Isn’t that right, Twinkle Toes?”

“Hey, we don’t _all_ become sappy,” Sokka said.

“Yes, you do,” Katara said. “Sokka, your baby voice still haunts my dreams.” He stuck her tongue out at her, and she stuck hers back out at him.

“You two are so childish,” Suki said. She rested her hand on her husband’s shoulder and laid her head down on top of her hand.

“Speaking of children,” Toph said, her ears perking up, “I don’t think we’ll be alone for much longer.”

She pointed just as a little knock sounded from the door.

“Daddy?” a small voice called. They recognized it as Kya’s. Zuko stood up to walk over to the door, but Aang airbended a gust of wind towards it to open it first. Kya’s blue eyes widened at the display.

“What’s wrong, love bug?” Suki called from the table.

“Kallik, Nilak, and Bumi tried sparring,” Kya said. “And—”

Immediately, the three dads pounced up out of their seats, nudging Kya out of the way as they pushed past her. Their wives, however, stayed in the sitting room.

Toph laughed and tilted the glass so that the wine inside circled around. “Our kids are going to be hella good fighters one day.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “But right now, they don’t need to be sparring. Especially when we’re not supervising.” She looked over at her youngest daughter. “Little cub, where were the servants?”

“The boys snuck off,” Kya answered. She let Katara lift her up onto her lap and cradle her in her arms. “They didn’t know they left.”

“Did anyone get hurt?” Suki asked.

Kya scrunched up her nose. “Nilak fell, and his knees are all icky. But he thinks blood is manly.”

Suki rolled her eyes and took another sip of her wine. “We’ve got Sokka to thank for that. I’m letting him take care of it.”

“I’m not,” Katara said. She handed Kya to her sister-in-law as she stood up. “Sokka barely knows how to tie a bandage. Better get over there and heal them before they make a bigger mess of things.”

She hurried out of the sitting room, and Toph smiled as the older woman left.

“Good thing we’ve got a healer,” she said, sipping her wine. She pushed her bangs out of her face and grinned at Suki. “Things are only going to get worse when they’re older.”

Suki nodded. “Especially when those kids start training together regularly.” She downed the rest of her drink. “We’re going to need more alcohol.”

* * *

Zuko sat on the roof of the palace as he looked up at the full moon in front of him. The kids were already in bed, and the others had mostly retired for the night as well. The night was silent. It was so peaceful.

As he stared off into the moon and stars around him, he let his mind wander. He thought of bringing the kids to see his mom, Noren, and Kiyi. They hadn’t seen them since the twins’ birthday. He didn’t want his children to grow up without a strong familial bond, not like he had.

_I’m sure Azula would like to see them too._

It had taken a while to get her stabilized enough to no longer need element-suppressing medications. It had taken even longer to allow her to come to terms with their past and to accept it. He knew that deep down, his sister really loved her nieces and nephews, even if she was bad at showing it. He saw it whenever her eyes glowed with pride whenever Ro would ask for her to tell him stories and whenever Zum would show off her newest painting. He knew that she tried to squash her naturally competitive side whenever the kids would bend, and he was incredibly grateful for it. Although he and Azula were fixing their relationship, he didn’t want his children to go through that too. He loved them too much for that.

Zuko propped his jaw up on his knuckles. The moon looked so bright tonight. He knew it would only be a matter of time until Kallik and Kya came to his and Katara’s bedroom, unable to sleep due to the moon’s pull on them. He figured he still had a little more time until he needed to go back to the bedroom. However, he wasn’t expecting the soft footprints behind him so soon.

He turned around to see Katara walking carefully on the flat roof of the palace. “You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he answered. He patted the spot beside him, and she took a seat on his side, letting her feet dangle off the roof next to his. “I’m just thinking.”

Katara rested her head on her husband’s shoulder. The weight grounded him, and he smiled, “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Eh. It’s nothing important.” He turned his head to kiss her forehead. He saw her soft smile pull at her lips, and he couldn’t disguise his own smile. “I’m just thinking about how lucky I am.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Zuko lifted her hand up and kissed her knuckles gently before flipping it over and kissing her palm and fingertips. “I’m so lucky to have such an amazing wife and four, beautiful children.”

He tilted her chin up and brought his lips to hers. Their kiss was soft, gentle, passionate. Everything that Zuko loved about his wife.

They stayed like that for a while, sitting together on the roof under the moonlight. It was where their story began on that night so long ago. The night where Zuko tried to jump and the night where Katara held him and thanked every spirit she knew that he hadn’t.

As he held her soft, warm body in his arms, he heard quick, little breaths. Turning his head, he could see shiny tears fall down his wife’s cheeks.

“Hey, Kat…are you alright?” He carded his fingers through her chocolate curls.

She nodded. “Yeah. Just happy.” She smiled at him, her sapphire eyes glistening. He could feel his heart melt within her hands.

“Me too,” he whispered. Cradling her face in his palms, he wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs and kissed the smooth skin of her forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a hard chapter to write. When I first began writing this story, it started as a catharsis, a way to dump my negative emotions into a positive outlet. There were a lot of comments referring to the way I wrote inner turmoil, but I was honestly projecting my own emotions and self-deprecating thoughts into those moments. And I wrote about the ups and downs that come with mental illness—about healing never being linear—because I was going through the same thing. The story meant so much to me because it embodied me, in a sense. However, now that we're at the epilogue, I put off finishing it because finishing meant it was really over. 
> 
> However, I wanted to thank you all one last time for reading! I know I've been thanking you guys basically every chapter, but you don't understand how much it really, really means to me. Each kudos. Each comment. Each bookmark. Each suggestion. They really helped give me the strength I needed to write, even on the days I felt like I couldn't. It means so much to me, and I hope you've enjoyed this experience as much as I have.
> 
> Alright, I've made this author's note long enough. I really am pushing off finishing the story for good, aren't I? 
> 
> Thank you so much for everything! I love you all, and you guys are amazing! And just know that you aren't alone in whatever you go through. :)


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